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Kaito normally felt very confident walking about the Sekai. It was his home, after all, and it was a magical home. Everyone knew and supported each other, and everyone found new ways to express their feelings through song everyday.
So, yes, sometimes Miku veered off-script in their shows, and sometimes Luka fell asleep in dangerous places, and sometimes Meiko went overboard in her acrobatic tricks, and sometimes the twins’ arguments would last for days, but he could deal with all of that.
He was the troupe leader after all.
He had everything under control.
Most of the time.
He had been helping the plushies write a script for their latest show that included all of their ideas when the WonderlandsxShowtime kids came to visit. He had waved as they headed to the stage to rehearse. They had stopped by again on their way out, as he was putting the plushies to bed. But he hadn’t had much time to speak to them about their rehearsal.
It wasn’t that they needed him very badly, anyway. Rui was an excellent director and Tsukasa was a good troupe leader in his own right, and between Nene’s singing and Emu’s acrobatics, they always put on incredible shows. Besides, they had everyone here in Sekai to rely on. He had a lot to manage.
He made a round by the stage before he turned in for the night anyway. There were often stray props that needed sorting or messes that needed cleaning. He didn’t expect anyone to be there, but when he approached, he heard Len singing.
”Idiots won’t be cured unless they die!”
What?
Kaito headed into the tent, scratching his head a little. He must’ve misheard.
”Become a loser and roar!”
Okay, what?
He waved to Len as he walked up to the stage and Len waved enthusiastically back. He plopped down on the edge of the stage and gestured for Kaito to join him.
”So, what are you singing?” Kaito asked tentatively.
”It’s a song called Law-Evading Rock!” Len said.
”Law-Evading… What?”
”Law-Evading Rock. You know, like rock ‘n’ roll.”
”It wasn’t actually the ‘rock’ part I was concerned about, Len.”
”Oh,” Len frowned. “What… are you concerned about then?”
”What laws are you evading, exactly?”
Len shrugged. “Just, you know, sticking it to the man.”
Kaito blinked. The scene didn’t disappear. He pinched his arm. He was still here. Damn.
”Len, you’re fourteen years old and we live in a magical virtual wonderland. What man are you supposed to be sticking it to?”
Len rolled his eyes as if Kaito were the one being unreasonable. “The man, Kaito. Come on. It’s a great song. Oh, Tsukasa’s part goes something like ‘blah blah blah fuck off!’ Isn’t that cool?”
Kaito was beginning to develop a migraine. He wasn’t even sure if he could get those, but he was feeling it now.
”Len, don’t you think that song is a little… I don’t know, adult?”
”I’m an adult!” Len protested.
Kaito decided to ignore the fact that this was patently untrue and move on.
”Just… don’t let the plushies and the flowers hear you singing it, okay? I don’t need them repeating that kind of language.”
Len shoved Kaito’s shoulder playfully. “You don’t think it’s fun? Even a little? You’ve gotta loosen up, troupe leader.”
He stood up and offered a hand to Kaito.
“Come on! Try singing it yourself! You’ll see!”
”No thanks,” Kaito declined politely. “I’m going to get to bed.”
Unfortunately, the problem neglected to solve itself overnight.
The next time WonderlandsxShowtime came to visit, Kaito was free and he sat in on their rehearsal.
It turns out, Tsukasa’s part did in fact go “something something something, fuck off”.
Rui and Tsukasa were delighted at the idea that Kaito should try singing the song.
”I don’t know if it’s for me,” Kaito said.
”Nothing wrong with broadening your horizons,” Rui said with a smirk.
“Yes,” Tsukasa mused. “It’s important for a troupe leader to be capable of fitting into many different roles!”
”Miku thinks you should try it!” Miku squealed, jumping up and down in her excitement.
“I’m not sure I can say all of the English words,” Kaito said, trying his best to be diplomatic.
”Ah!” Tsukasa exclaimed. “I know exactly what your problem is! I struggled with this too, but I have learned a trick! Try saying the English word ‘fire’ and then the English word ‘truck’. ‘Fire truck’. Then just mash them together and you can say ‘Fuck!’”
Kaito took a deep breath. Perhaps attempting to explain that the pronunciation was not his main issue was a bad idea.
Maybe he should just get it over with.
”Thank you, Tsukasa. I’ll give it a try.”
That was how it came to be that Rui recorded on his phone a Kaito solo cover of “Law-Evading Rock”, featuring an unenthusiastic “fuck off”.
He couldn’t get the plushies to stop singing that song for weeks.