Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Caiwei was kind of bored. Don’t get her wrong, she loved her job. She loved the feeling of dirt on her hands as she repotted the roses. She adored how she always had a faint floral scent as she’d run to her night botany classes. She felt deeply satisfied creating the unique arrangements for frantic fiances, moody mothers, and love sick loons with hearts for eyes. She even enjoyed the solemn touches of beauty she could bring to funerals. Caiwei felt very human as she’d search out the fullest, prettiest flowers, cutting and prepping them with care for all of the different births, celebrations and deaths. There was a beauty to it beyond just the flowers, at least there was to her. 

She won't deny her favorite arrangements were always for the romantics. They were always so flustered and abashed to admit that no, they didn’t know their chosen lover’s favorite color, favorite flower or what they might want beyond ‘something pretty’. Caiwei always bit back a smile as she promised the blushing individuals something stunning. And the pride she felt at their giddy excitement was contagious. 

She liked her job. But that doesn’t make days like today any easier. It was going on hour six of her shift, and only a single guest had come into the shop. It was the creepy old man that came to the shop every few weeks to make inappropriate, and frequently racist, comments about the appearance of the various female staff and then stormed off when he was reminded that no, there are no arrangements that he could buy for fifteen dollars. This isn’t a grocery store. Caiwei shuddered; today ‘Disgusting Dave’ was exceptionally gross. She didn’t wish him on her coworkers, but she hated the days that she got caught by him. But such is life.

Additionally, all of the large orders were completed the day prior, just waiting for pick up that evening. And to top off the boredom sundae, since she started working at this flower shop just over a year prior, Caiwei’s borderline obsessive upkeep of their in house greenhouse full of flowers meant there was nothing to do. She had fed the koi fish in the small pond the owner had installed for ‘the whimsy’ and she had done the quick walk around the greenhouse looking for any plants in need of care or watering. But after a whole twenty minutes into her shift she was basically done. She didn’t even need to fill a slot in the front refrigerator case for walk-in bouquets. It was just a long day of manning the front desk. Arranginging and rearranging the ‘pen bouquet’ hoping and praying that somehow the silk flowers on the pens would suddenly change via magic so at least she would have new fake flowers to arrange in new styles. 

Caiwei sighed. She’d even take another gross encounter with ‘Disgusting Dave’ at this point. It was at least something to do. She twirled one of the flower pens. It was a simple ballpoint with a silk tuft of Agapanthus flowers taped to it. The blue was vibrant, but the edges of the silk were fraying slightly. She brought it up to her face, pinching it between her nose and her upper lip and leaned heavily onto the glass countertop. She moved her hand from the pen to start tapping the glass, counting each individual small white Baby's-Breath in the arrangement directly under the register area. 

The door chimed and Caiwei jumped, the flower pen clattered off the counter and onto the floor. A deep chuckle came from the door. Caiwei looked up and was stopped dead in her tracks. 

It was a man. And not just a man, an attractive man.  

Dare she say it a very fine man. His outfit was simple yet stylish, a simple white t-shirt and black tight-legged pants, hugging all the right spots, a modernized Kimono style flowy jacket was thrown over the top. The top started black and cherry blossom branches gave a unique almost ombre vibe to the jacket. It looked like something that could be on a manikin at a high end store. He was also tall, his black hair was cut short, but not too short. It was a good look.

 His smile was wide, bright and inviting, as he crossed the room picking up the now slightly abused Agapanthus pen off the floor. There was a playful twinkle in his black eyes as he held the pen up towards the now blushing Caiwei. The purple silk petals almost tickled her nose. 

“I’ve heard the coloured bit at this end smells the best.” He winked. 

Well, at least her day just got way more interesting. She grabbed the flower from the man’s warm hand with a slight smirk. 

“Thanks for the tip. They also smell best when they aren't made from silk and taped to a pen.” 

The man shrugged, his grin somehow got bigger. “I’ll defer to your judgment, as you are the professional,” He flicked his eyes down to her name tag with a slight squint. “Caiwei– wait, do you know Mandarin?”

“Only enough to know when my Grandma is insulting me, sorry.” 

“Bummer.” He laughed. “My family has been telling me I need to practice more as apparently I’m prone to ‘egregious grammatical errors’, or ‘hilarious mistakes’ depending on who you ask. I figured, Chinese name, in a shop called Jiangnan’s Lilies on the edge of Chinatown– there was a fifty fifty shot.”

“Well, I can’t solve your language problems, but I can fix your incredible lack of flowers.” She smiled at the attractive man. “So, whatcha lookin’ for?”

He looked perplexed, his smile curling down in confusion. “Uh… Flowers?” He looked down at the flowers in the refrigerated case below and pointed. “You know. The real ones that smell nice?”

“Alright I think I am following so far. Are you looking for a full large arrangement, a vase sized bouquet, or an arched or other shaped display?” She gestured with her hands the size or shape of each option as she listed them.

“It is going on an end table?”

Caiwei nodded, shifting her hands to the smaller size. “Vase sized would do that nicely. Is this for a birthday, a romantic moment, or just because it is a Thursday and you are feeling fancy free?”

Caiwei’s gut clenched as she watched the happy man’s smile slowly evaporate. She worried she’d misspoken in some way as the face of the man continued to fall. His eyes tinged with sadness and worry, small crows feet grew at the corners of his eyes and a wrinkle between his eyebrows cut deep into his face. 

“Ah, right. It is for a hospital visit.” 

“Oh, I am so sorry to hear that.” Caiwei felt the overwhelming urge to caress the now sad man’s hand, giving it a comforting squeeze. She mentally shook herself. One minorly boring day mixed with a handsome man and she’d lost any social skills she possessed. She needed to get herself together. 

“It’s fine.” He gave her a tight smile. “It’s been a long term thing. This should be the big win we’ve all been hoping for. That’s why I’m getting flowers.” 

“Makes sense. So they are congratulatory celebration flowers.” Caiwei stepped a few bouquets over in the case. It was an arrangement she’d made the day before at the very end of her shift. Its focal flowers were a mix of mainly Sunflowers and some red and orange roses. A mix of pink snapdragons, small white camomile blooms and orange-purple bearded irises poked out between the large bright happy flowers. Its varied textures and sunset color palette made an eye catching bouquet if she did say so herself. Gingerly she lifted the wrapped flowers up to the top of the case.

“I made this arrangement yesterday. The bright colors would bring a lot of life to a bland hospital room. It also has enough different textures that it would be nice to look at even for a decently long time.” 

“It’s perfect.” The man leaned down to the arrangement and took in a large inhale. He looked up with just his eyes, the playful twinkle was back in his onyx eyes. “You are right. These real ones do smell better.” 

That startled a laugh out of Caiwei. She then rolled her eyes as she lightly shook her head. 

“What happened to trusting the professional?”

“Not super into blind trust. And maybe I am just seeing if the adage of stopping and smelling the flowers is worth it.” 

“It is always worth stopping and smelling the roses.” 

“See, now I feel you are trying to sell me something.” He squinted at her from over the bouquet. “Are you?”

She felt a smile tickle the edges of her lips as she gestured lazily around the shop. “Sorry to break it to you but I really am.” She then waved her hands in an energetic jazz hand around the bundle of flowers sitting between them. She smiled up at him. “Is my marketing scheme working?”

The man hummed, stroking an imaginary beard. “I dunno, maybe if you try a little harder? I might buy two.”

Caiwei grinned and spun in a little circle, did a stupid little jig, before once again ending on more jazz hands at the flowers. She even giggled out a little ‘Ta-da!’

“Perfect, Bravo!” The man clapped, laughing his smooth baritone laugh. It made Caiwei's heart jump a little in her chest. She pushed that thought out of her mind. “I’ll take any of these other stunning bouquets that you’ve made.” 

“Oh,” Her smile screwed up in embarrassment. “Actually these other pre-made ones were made by other employees.” 

“Ah, darn.” He snapped his fingers. “That is why they are less pretty, I get it now. But I will still take this one.” 

“Sorry about that. These are still well made and are very pretty.” 

“But they were not made by The Professional.” 

She could practically hear the capitals as he said it, and it made her roll her eyes. “My co-workers also get paid too. Thus, by definition, professionals.” 

“Ah, ah, ah!” He wiggled his finger as he grabbed a thin wallet from his back pocket. “Do they know real flowers smell better than pen flowers? That is the sign of a true pro.” 

“Yeah, probably.” She giggled as he handed her a card. “It’ll be $40, is that okay?”

She sent a small mental plea that this man wasn’t stingy and idiotic like ‘Disgusting Dave'. Caiwei didn’t think her heart could take it if this attractive man turned on her. 

He nodded, totally not getting mad at the price, as he picked up Agapanthus flower pen off the countertop. He spun it back and forth between his fingers watching it twirl. Caiwei handed the handsome man his receipt which he signed, then put the pen back in the little vase with a little head pat. 

It was placed poorly, totally skewing the symmetry she had going. 

She was not going to touch it. It added character. 

Shut up. The little pat was cute. 

She shoved the receipt into the cash register, trying to swallow the butterflies trying to escape from her stomach. Caiwei was lost in her own battle with shutting the finicky cash box when the man practically purred out his question from beside her. 

“Could I have your number?”

Caiwei stopped trying to fight the cash box, letting it slide fully back open as her brain completely shut down. Cute guys rarely flirted with her, especially not at her work. Was it unprofessional to give out her number? She didn’t even know this man's name . Was he some weird predator or creep? Would she end up dead in some ditch? She looked up at his open smile. His very very pretty smile. 

Screw it. Maybe this is her chick flick meet cute, or possibly this would be the start of her true crime podcast episode about her death. But either way it would be an interesting ride. 

“Sure!” Her voice came out practically as a squeak. She cleared her throat as she grabbed her cracked phone from her pocket. She fumbled through her swiped password with shaking hands. Mentally cursing at herself as she felt the burning blush spreading across her cheeks. “I’d love to give you my number.” 

“Oh! Uh–” She looked up to see the handsome man also blushing, his arm reached up scratching the back of his neck. “I, uh, meant for the shop…”

“Oh, oh.” Caiwei, in that moment wished with every fiber of her being that she would shrivel up like an old flower and be thrown into the compost. “I’m so sor–” 

“But,” He cut her off. “If you are offering… ” A small smirk creeped up his cheeks ending with a wink. “Can’t deny that having a flower professional on speed dial would come in handy. You know, for all those flower emergencies.” 

Caiwei rolled her eyes smiling, biting back the pure mortification still swirling in her gut. At least she’d killed the butterflies. She slammed a Jiangnan’s Lilies business card next to the purchased bundle of flowers. She leaned forward onto her elbows, her head propped up on her linked fingers, making her chin a little hammock. She grinned up at the handsome man's still present blush. 

“Oh sorry, my professional rule is only to give my number for flower emergencies only after I’ve sold at least three bouquets.”

The man barked out a laugh, grabbing the card, he slid it into his front pocket. He bowed to her, fake seriousness painted on his face. 

“Ah, that makes perfect sense. I can’t imagine how many millions of calls you get daily for flower emergencies.” 

“It actually is probably more than you’d imagine.” 

It honestly was. She’d gotten many frantic calls from multiple brides who had their wedding flowers fall through sometimes the night before the big day. And that wasn’t even counting the scared romantics that had forgotten it was an anniversary or Valentine’s Day. 

“Well, this just means that I’ve gotta buy more flowers. Oh wait, I see the plan now.” 

“Muahahaha my evil plans are coming to pass,” she deadpanned. 

“Oh rats,” he deadpanned back, shrugging, a small smile breaking through the expression. “I’m already committed at this point. If my buying flowers aids you in ending the world, so be it.”

“At ten bouquets I’ll make sure to protect you in my new world order.” She pointed to the one in his hands. “That’s only nine more.” 

He laughed. Caiwei got lost in the carefree tones. She really hoped he would come back, she liked this. 

“I think I can swing that. See you around, Caiwei.” With that he turned to exit. The door chime rang, knocking her out of her daydream. 

“Oh wait!” She called out. He paused half out the door, he looked back at her. “I forgot to ask you your name!”

“Ah.” His face radiated joy as he smiled wide enough it scrunched up his eyes. “Su’er Wang.” 

Caiwei smiled back, “Nice to meet you, Su’er.”

“Likewise.” He gave a little bow and walked out the door. 

With that the flower shop girl watched through the window store front as Su’er Wang walked down the street. Caiwei would deny it to her dying day but she almost fell to the floor after leaning too far over just to watch him a little bit longer.

Her day definitely was no longer boring.

Chapter Text

Caiwei wouldn’t lie– she’d been thinking about Su’er Wang all week. But in her defense, it felt like the whole universe refused to let her forget the chance meeting. Her botany teacher went on a tirade about how she thought it was a shame edible flowers weren’t used more in America– specifically saying she loved eating cherry blossoms. The whole conversation flashed visions of the stylish outfit of the handsome man. The Agapanthus flower pen, unmoved, continued to skew the symmetry and make her smile. A lady during one of Caiwei’s shifts even asked for the phone number of the shop and she gave the glossy business card to the woman. She tried to pretend nothing was wrong when Caiwei felt her cheeks flush and her stomach filled with butterflies. 

It almost was like the man was haunting her. Hints of his wide playful smile was hidden in her co-workers smile. His laugh would ring out in the grocery store, but when Caiwei would turn around it wouldn’t be him. She even had a few moments of weakness and she’d let their conversation play on repeat in her mind as she would grin like a loon. 

She felt like she was going crazy. But the slight ache in her cheeks from how much Caiwei had been smiling was almost pleasant. She debated if the warm bubbling in her chest was worth losing her mind for. 

Jury was still out. 

Late at night as she laid in bed, she berated herself for not just giving him her number. Ignoring the mortification for one sliver of bravery so she’d at least she’d maybe be able to text him so she could stop obsessing over the interaction. Not being able to do anything was slowly killing her. The hauntings just continued though all of her waking hours, and embarrassingly enough, some of her sleeping ones too. 

Caiwei groaned to herself. It had been a full week. She would never see Su’er again, the likelihood was just so slim. She collapsed forward, digging her fingers into the potting soil, her forehead hitting the edge of the pot just slightly too hard. Su’er was just a fairy tale man who waltzed into her life, whose purpose seemed to just be to rocket her expectations into the stratosphere only to disappear forever. It was just her luck. She was already the weird plant lady, her apartment looking more like a greenhouse than a living space. Maybe she should lean into the single woman aesthetic. 

She raked the top of the pot, collecting a handful of potting soil. She turned her head, still resting on the pot's edge, and raised her fist. Mournfully she watched the dark soil as it slowly slipped out of the bottom of her fist. Caiwei grimaced as she smoothed the dirt down from the little pile she’d made. 

She was being ridiculous. They had talked for maybe fifteen minutes and she was acting like a love sick teenanger. She sighed, heaving herself up from the collapsed position. She rolled her shoulders back looking down at the pot with determination. She couldn’t ignore the needs of the hydrangea because she has a silly little crush . 

She started to transfer the plant, a small smile growing into a grin. What kind of Flower Professional would she be if she ignored this plant’s needs!

Caiwei froze, realizing where her thoughts had gone. Again. She hid her face in her dirt covered hands biting back a frustrated scream. She needed to let it go. 

Counting backwards from ten, she calmed down enough to finish repotting the hydrangea. Once she was done, she stood clapping her hands getting most of the dirt off her hands. Caiwei then picked up the plant. Resting it on a hip, she was about to take it back near the koi pond in the back of the greenhouse when the cheery chime of the door rang out. 

Caiwei’s heart skipped a beat. She looked at the clock on the wall. It was exactly a week later, almost to the minute. She started towards the door almost in a trance. There was a chance— 

She shook her head, shaking the romantic cotton out of her mind. She needed to be realistic. Her hand tightened around the thin door handle of the door separating the greenhouse and the main shop. With her luck it was going to be ‘Disgusting Dave’ again, deciding to grace her with his presence once again. Honestly, the way life usually goes, that was more likely. Hiking up the potted plant higher on hip, which she definitely should have put down, she opened the door to the shop.

She spotted the guest almost immediately. 

It was him.  

Su’er Wang. 

No way . She was hallucinating. She had to be. 

Caiwei pinched herself. Huh. She was either not crazy or had finally lost it.

His broad back was facing her, he was leaning forward slightly over the case of pre-made bouquets. He was wearing a well fitting Hawaiian shirt, it was olive green with large cream hibiscus’ printed into the fabric. He had stylish relaxed tan slacks and simple white trainers. From the back, Caiwei couldn’t deny the outfit attenuated his wide shoulders in a very appealing way. 

After a few more seconds than it really should have taken, Caiwei cleared her voice, speaking up from the door. 

“Hello, how can I help you today?”

Su’er spun on his heels, his wide smile blinding her before what he held in his arms caught Caiwei’s attention. 

“A baby?” she blurted out. She immediately grimaced. 

“Oh yeah, say hello to Caiwei, Jing’er.” the man smiled down at the kid, no older than eighteen months. The kid looked at her with big doe eyes and a little pink lip jutted out in a little pout. She smiled and waved at the kid who immediately tucked his little head into Su’er’s broad chest. The man chuckled, reaching a hand up to caress the back of Jing’er’s head. “He is a little shy.” 

“He’s cute.” 

“Yeah he is.” He looked down at the kid so fondly it was almost breathtaking. He leaned down and gave the baby in his arms a small kiss on the crown of his head before shifting the little boy to his hip.

Caiwei melted, watching the fatherly devotion. She could work with this. Single dads can be hot too, and she liked kids. 

Or maybe she is just too invested.

She wasn’t going to think about it too hard. 

“So, I introduced mine, you gonna introduce yours?”

For a moment Caiwei was utterly confused, She sent him a look. That playful twinkle was back in his eyes as he pointed to the potted plant that was still resting on Caiwei’s hip, his smile angling into a smirk. 

After slightly longer than she’d like to admit to, she groaned. She was carrying the hydrangea in a mirror to how he was holding Jing’er. She flushed as she moved to put the pot down on the counter. The warm baritone laugh from beside her soothed the slight embarrassment Caiwei felt.

“Oh, are they shy too?”

“Not usually, she is just fussy right now. I just repotted her. Say hi, Heidi.” She grabbed one of the clumps of leaves and had it wave at the tall man. Su’er gave a small wave back at the plant. 

“Hi Heidi,” He turned the warm smile from the plant to Caiwei, waving again. “And hi Caiwei.” 

“Hi Su’er,” She waved back at him, huffing out a laugh as she shook her head. “So dumb.” 

“No such thing.” The kid in his arms started wiggling, collapsing over his arm, little arms wiggling towards the ground. “Oh, the kiddo wants down, is that okay?”

“Of course.” 

He nodded and gently set the kid onto shaky legs. Jing’er almost immediately grabbed onto his tan pants before slowly sinking to sit on Su’er’s shoe, wrapping his arms and legs around his ankle. The man laughed looking down at the kid bouncing a little on the shoe. 

“At least we’ll be able to keep track of him this way.” He looked up at Caiwei and smiled widely. “Hi.” 

She snorted. “I think we went over that already.” 

“Oh, right, yeah.” A small flush spread over his cheeks, he reached up to rub the back of his neck. “So, uh– how’s your week been?”

“Pretty good actually! It is repotting season, so I have spent a lot of time with dirt this week.”

“I kinda guessed.” 

She blushed, looking at the Hydrangea, now forever doomed to be called Heidi. “Oh yeah, I guess that was pretty obvious.”

“Oh, Heidi was only part of it.” He let out a warm chuckle. Caiwei looked over at the man, one of his hands gesturing at her face. “I am new to this whole flower thing, but how much of the process involves your face?” 

“...None of it?” She tilted her head trying to understand the joke. Her eyes widened, realizing what he was saying. She started rubbing her cheeks and forehead trying to clean the dirt off of her face. 

“You are just making it so much worse.” His bartone brimmed with mirth as she blushed deeper. She crossed her arms and gave him a little annoyed pout. 

“Thanks, super helpful commentary from the peanut gallery,” she deadpanned.

He gave a little dramatic bow. “I aim to please.” 

She rolled her eyes, wiping her hands on the small dark green apron she had strung around her hips. She looked at her hands before trying to wipe the dirt off again and frowned. Her hands were filthy, dirt deeply caked under her nails, her palms and fingers stained chocolate from the wet soil. She looked up at the man, a small smile growing on her face. She raised her hands up towards him and looked between them.

“Now that I am noticing my hands… Do I want to know the damage to my face?”

“Probably not, but you gotta know, it is probably the most unique makeup style I’ve seen in some time.” He bit back a smile. “Very avant-garde.” 

She collapsed her head into her hands, her groan drowned out by his laugh. 

“Would it be better to call it the strangest war paint I’ve seen? Maybe complement the dramatic contour?”

She looked up between her fingers and moaned. “Kill me now.” 

“No thanks, I’d do poorly in jail.” He reached up to hook his hands around her wrists moving her hands from her dirty face. His smile was soft, his eyes warm. It reminded Caiwei of the look he gave Jing’er, which made something in the girl's stomach flip. “It really isn’t that bad. It’s just a bit of dirt.” He leaned down to the backpack that was sitting against the glass flower case and pulled out a small pack of wet wipes with a flourish. He smirked at her and whispered out a little ‘Ta-da’ doing jazz hands. 

Caiwei had to be a tomato by now. She was never allowed to be bored for so many consecutive hours in a row again. She’d acted like an idiot last week. She felt like she had fallen into a swirling swamp of embarrassment, metaphorical (and almost some literal) mud caking her. She watched as he pulled out one of the wipes, he started to bring it up to her face before freezing. 

“Oh uh, would it be okay if I wipe your face?” A panicked expression crossed the man's face, his face flushing pink across his cheeks and nose. “Not like I don’t think you could do it yourself! I just uh– figured your hands being involved again might– might make it worse?”

Caiwei smiled, emotionally sitting up from the swamp of embarrassment, realizing that he had fallen right in beside her and was also covered in metaphorical mud. She nodded at the blushing man, tilting her head up towards him. 

“Please, with these hands I would just make it worse.” She closed her eyes, trying to ignore the flutter of her heart. The cold towelette on her cheek made her shiver. 

“Sorry,” Su’er mumbled out. She could tell he had gotten much closer. 

“It’s fine.” Her voice was a little thin, as she tried to ignore how she could feel the small puffs of air from the man’s nose on her now moist skin.

The touches were so gentle, cold little feather touches slowly circled her cheek, up over her forehead, down her other cheek to her chin and then her nose. He ended with a small boop to her nose. She blinked up at the man, his face was very close to hers. She could see the flakes of lighter brown mixed into his dark eyes. She could see the shadows of smile wrinkles forming on his temples and cheeks. She could smell the tang of oranges on his breath. They sat there looking at each other before Su’er stood up abruptly, shifting awkwardly back with the child still attached to his leg. His eyes were wide and he opened his mouth a few times only to close it without saying anything. He kind of reminded Caiwei of the koi in the greenhouse. 

“Oh, I think you have an eyelash.” Caiwei slowly raised her still very dirty hand with a smirk. 

Su’er looked confused for a moment before his eyes flicked to the dirty hand slowly raising to his cheek. His wide eyes playfully squinted at the hand as he dodged back with a laugh.

“No thanks, I’m not looking for war paint today.” 

Jing’er tugged himself up to stand holding the tan pants leg, tugging lightly. Su’er looked down as the kid reached his little hands up begging to be picked up. The tall man sighed as he reached down, scooping up the wiggly baby into his arms, obviously struggling to keep the baby in his arms. 

“Ah darn,” Caiwei shrugged. “What are you looking for, if not war paint?”

Su’er was holding the kid like a log, he nuzzled his nose into the kid's little belly, letting out a small raspberry into the sensitive skin. The kid giggled loudly, squirming in his grip before settling down. Once the kid was secured he flicked his eyes to Caiwei before looking back down at the baby.

 “We are looking for some more flowers for Mommy, right ya little rascal? She really liked the last bouquet, thought Jing’er could help pick out the next one.” His voice was warm while the words shot cold ice through Caiwei’s veins.

Was… Su’er married? She flicked an eye to his left hand, still wrapped around the kid’s middle. There was no ring. But that wasn’t a sure fire sign. She had been so sure he was single. People with long-term committed partners usually don’t… do whatever they had been doing. 

Caiwei felt bile start to burn at the back of her throat. Wilting, she looked at the man. He had squatted down in front of the refrigerated case. Pointing at the different bouquets he tried to catch the little boy's attention, see if there was anything he was interested in. Caiwei felt tears prick at the corner of her eyes as she watched Su’er give the kid an exasperated smile as he struggled to get the kid interested in anything but leaving handprints on the clean glass. 

She knew that she had no reason to feel betrayed but she did. Rage rolled in her stomach thinking about how he had basically led her on. Technically, he didn’t do anything wrong on paper, but all of the giddy giggles and absentminded grins and fluttery butterflies she’d felt all week suddenly felt paper thin. The whole interaction from the week prior went from vibrant colors to black and white. Her chest felt hollow and brittle. 

She sniffed, wiping her frustrated tears away from her eyes. Her expectations had been sky high and now they were crashing down to earth at terminal velocity. How dare he. 

How dare he.  

His wife was in the hospital and he was out flirting with the girls. She felt so dumb, thinking that he was some fairy tale man, when he was really just another attractive scumbag. 

“Caiwei? Is something wrong?” Su’er looked up at her from his squat, the small worried wrinkle between his eyebrows screaming concern for the girl standing above him. 

Seeing the raw concern made her rage boil over. Her vision flashed red. Did he not understand what he was doing was wrong? How this would look? How could he be so awful?

“Is something wrong? How could you ask that? Just think about what you are doing!” she spat out.

Su’er jerked back, tightening the grip on his kid. A look of hurt bafflement twisted his face. “What are you–” 

“How could you bring your kid to watch you flirt with some… flower floozy when your wife is sick in the hospital!” 

Su’er leaned back to fall back the last few centimeters to the ground, a look of shock clear as day on his face. He was looking up to the fuming woman standing over him.

Caiwei bit back more scathing remarks. It wasn’t really her place, but she was livid. Instead, she swallowed just enough of her rage to spit out one final question. “What do you have to say for yourself?”

“I say there has been a wild miscommunication.” The man raised a hand to rub at his temple, a bemused smile stretching across his face.  He looked up at her, a nervous chuckle slipping between his lips. 

“What?” Caiwei felt some of the fight drain out of her, she took a few steps back realizing how aggressively she was standing over the man on the ground.

Another round of nervous giggles, he peered up at her, a genuine smile slowly spreading across his face. “I don’t know how you got the idea that I am married to my sister who is in the hospital or that my nephew here is our son, but I swear that’s not the case.” 

Caiwei froze. She slowly looked at the man with horror. His smile grew and he started to awkwardly laugh.

“ No .” She felt her eyes fill with tears. Embarrassed, awkward, mortified tears streaked down her cheeks. She slowly blinked back the tears, tilting her head back to look at the ceiling. 

“Yes.” He chuckled and he stood, scooping the kid into his arms again. “A’wu is gonna get a kick out of this. You protected her honor . From some horrible, horrible husband.”

“I spoke too soon earlier, kill me now.” She reached her hands up to grab fistfuls of her long black hair. Caiwei wished to be shot into the sun. She wished to be thrown into the Marianas Trench. She wished to be one of the worms in the compost. At least then she wouldn’t accuse a very kind man of adultery. “I am so sorry, Su’er. I don’t know how– I’m so stupid.” 

She looked over at the man. His face was an interesting mix of awkward and doing everything to keep from cackling. She tried to return the look, but was sure it was pathetic as his awkwardness faded into a bout of chaotic high pitched giggles. 

“I’m sorry! I shouldn’t laugh, but your face .” He covered his mouth with a hand, trying to bite back his giggles. It took him a couple tries, but he was able to cough and finally stop the giggle fit. 

“Can– Can we pretend this never happened?” She looked up at him hopeful. Maybe they could put it behind them and then Caiwei could curl up in a ball after he left and disappear. 

“I don’t think I could if I tried . This is the funniest thing that has happened to me in months .” 

“I’m glad my emotional turmoil can bring you so much joy.” Caiwei groaned out. She walked around the counter, hoping some space could make the sinking feeling leave, or at least lessen.

“I am too,” He grinned down at her as she stuck her tongue out at him. “Oooo bringing out the big guns I see.” 

She dropped her head to the glass top, not even worrying about the marks her face would leave on the glass case. “ Please just let me spontaneously combust from embarrassment in peace .” 

“Nah, I gotta keep my Professional Flower… What did you call yourself? A floozy?” He choked on a laugh, before reigning it back in. “Sorry. Uh– I gotta keep my Professional Flower Floozy alive and well, where else am I going to get my flowers?”

Caiwei lazily pointed at the door, her face still squished into the glass counter. “Flowers grow outside a lot of places. Go pick some” 

“But they aren’t as pretty as these flowers.” She turned her head just enough to look at Su’er. He pointed with a grin to the bouquet she’d made that morning. It was a fairly rushed arrangement as she wanted to get to transplanting. She is on a roll of embarrassing herself today.

“That’s not even my best work. It’s just some left over pink geraniums, roses, some Hot pink Beard tongues, Chrysanthemums and some baby breath. I genuinely just took everything that was pinkish-red and stuck it all together.” She grimaced at the bouquet. “That honestly is one of the worst arrangements I have made.”

“It's very pink. I like it.”

She snorted. “You aren’t wrong .” 

“I’ll take it.” She peeled herself up from her self imposed exile to the countertop to see his smiling face. He didn’t look like he was pulling her leg. He must actually like that poorly made arrangement. She slid the sliding door on the case to pull out the arrangement. She gingerly set it on the glass counter, sliding it towards the man. Jing’er reached out to touch one of the large roses, the man gently tucked the kids wandering hands back into his chest.

“Honestly, take it. Free of charge.” 

“Oh I couldn’t–” He had a hand in his pocket, probably grabbing his wallet, balancing the kid in one arm. 

“No, I insist.” She shook her head. “Tell your sister I apologize to her too.” 

“If you are sure?”

“I needed to redo that arrangement anyway, my boss would be horrified if we were showcasing a ‘left overs’ bouquet. You would be doing me a favor.” That wasn’t the full truth, but it would definitely make her feel better.  

“Okay. Thanks.” Su’er smiled. His smile twisted, a little awkward he pointed to the door with his thumb. “I, uh– probably have to get going. Visiting hours are gonna be ending soonish.”

“Oh of course! Hopefully you and your sister enjoy the flowers.” Caiwei gave him an awkward smile paired with two thumbs up. 

Su’er chuckled as he bent over to grab the thin black backpack, slinging it over one shoulder. He then picked up the bouquet, and paused looking at Caiwei. His dark eyes boring into her, she shuffled back and forth a bit. He nodded and gave her a small smile. 

Caiwei felt like she just passed some test or something . She couldn’t trust her assumptions, at least not for a while, so she was going to just not read too much into it. She just nodded and gave him a small smile back. 

“I’ll get the door for you.” She walked out from behind the countertop, her legs felt like jelly as she crossed the room to the door. She opened it. Su’er started walking through before tilting his head back with a lopsided grin on his face.

“See you ‘round, Caiwei.” The sun reflected the bright pinks onto his face, Caiwei thought it was beautiful. Maybe he had a point, there was something pretty in the chaotic mess that was the rushed bouquet. 

“Likewise.”

She gave him a little wave as he started down the street. She watched him take only a few steps before she robotically walked back into the shop, flipping the closed sign as the door slowly closed with their hydraulic system. She scooped Heidi the Hydrangea off the counter and walked into the greenhouse. She walked to the back near the koi pond where the nursery was. She placed the young Hydrangea on the table. 

Caiwei then sat on the floor and scooted under the table. She covered her face with her hands, not caring that her hands were still caked with dirt. She took three deep slow breaths before letting out a frustrated scream.

She wasn’t sure if that was better or worse than if Su’er hadn’t dropped in. 

Hopefully she hadn’t ruined everything.

Chapter Text

The next day, Caiwei found herself sighing as she futzed with the arrangement. It was an order wanting a ‘chaotic mix of flowers, all needing to be blue.’ They didn’t even want any sort of neutral white or even additional greenery in the full bouquet. Just blue. 

Caiwei was pretty sure chaotic didn’t mean ugly, but the large bright blue bunched Hydrangeas next to the more vibrant blue felicia daisies with the small puff of petals of blue ridged carnations stuck between them was just…  bland and lacking in texture and variation. She reached for some Bluebeard to add some height and texture only to cringe at the clashing blue tones. She took the Bluebeard out and sighed once again. With an overwhelming weight of defeat she walked to the fridge in the back. Luckily the order was decently in advance to be able to dye some baby’s breath. Using dyed flowers felt like a cop out, but at least the tone of the blue was closer to the rest of the arrangement. 

It was still incredibly ugly, in Caiwei’s opinion. Even just adding a handful of white roses would make it infinitely better. Not great, per se, but at least something she felt she could actually hand off and not mentally cringe at the idea someone spent money on it. 

But nope. Not allowed. Customer knows best, Caiwei. We provide what they want, Caiwei, not what we want. Some people are going to just want ugly arrangements, Caiwei. 

Sometimes people want different things than you, Caiwei, and that's okay . 

Pushing the arrangement over, she collapsed onto the work bench, her head pillowed on her crossed arms. She groaned as the warm easy going smile flashed across her mind. The soft look in the dark eyes as they looked at the kid in their sturdy arms. The echo of the playful chuckle faintly ringing in her ears. 

She’d ruined it, if there was anything really there to begin with. She was probably being delusional and Su’er just is a naturally open, flirty person. He was just a customer and she stuck her nose in where she didn’t belong because of a spark of hope that it could maybe be more.

What an idiotic thought. The man just wanted flowers for his sick sister, nothing more. Life wasn’t like one of her sappy romance novels with adorable meet cutes and charming men sweeping people off their feet. She’d gotten her hopes up and like every other time the roots never even got a chance to start growing before they were rudely torn from the soil. 

She pulled out one of the daisies from the arrangement in front of her. It was a little lopsided and she twirled it from the base of the stem between her fingers. The thin blue petals blurring into a solid pale disk. Its uneven petals and slight bendy stem made the spinning flower look like the rippling skirt of a pirouetting dancer. The little flaws made the effect possible, making it more interesting and pretty, in the right context. 

She sighed before setting the flower to the side. It wasn’t a bad flower, it just didn’t fit with the other perfectly round flowers around it. She’d find a use for it, and if not she’d just take it home to press it. Maybe she’d laminate it and make it into a bookmark to keep her place in her sappy romance novels. Give it the honor of a monument and constant reminder of her idiocy. A reminder to not jump to conclusions. 

She laid her head back down and looked at the arrangement again. A small part of her had hoped seeing it sideways would somehow make the mish mash of blues work. Tragically looking at something at 90 degrees didn’t change the thing, it just changed the perspective. 

A warm baritone voice washed over her mind. 

It’s very blue, I like it.

Caiwei snorted to herself, feeling the corners of her eyes prick with tears. Emotions converged and caught in her throat, feeling like she’d tried and failed to swallow an avocado pit. She blinked back tears as she tried to push back the feelings of inadequacy. 

Two days in a row making the ugliest arrangement of her life. She was just one-upping herself on being bad. Maybe if this trend continued, in a month she’d roll up to work and just throw a bundle of the stem trimmings into a vase and call it a bouquet. 

If she was more of an art snob hustler she could probably make a lot of money selling stem trimming bouquets. But instead she was a flower-obsessed botany student crying over a man she’d met briefly twice. Emotions are emotions, but she felt a bit pathetic being so upset over this. 

She looked up at the blurry blue that shimmered due to the tears in her eyes. The smeared blues made the shades blend better, the monochromatic arrangement just needed tears to make it palatable. She just needed to create onion juice and spray the arrangement down with it, anyone within a few feet would just spontaneously cry and then it’d be perfect. Laughing to herself, Caiwei smiled up at the flowers as her vision cleared. 

Maybe she was crazy but she felt that Su’er would’ve liked the flower arrangement, the mixture of blue tones and bland textures and lack of height variance and all. Or maybe she’d built up some prince charming in her mind and shoved this man on a pedestal so high that even the tallest trees couldn’t possibly reach it. 

Or more likely she was being over dramatic to try to deal with the crushing regret and embarrassment over her actions. The man hadn’t even seemed that upset over it once it had been explained. But maybe he was just being polite. Caiwei didn’t know. 

Sitting up, Caiwei started looking through the cut daisies looking for a good replacement for the wonky one. The pity party was officially over now. She needed to have this arrangement done before she left for class which was only in a little over an hour and this poor blue disaster just needed some love and care. 

She found the perfect flower and was about to place it when the phone rang. Startled, she threw the flower up in the air. She scowled, mentally cursing her luck as she picked it up off the table, seeing the crushed petals and broken stem. 

She sighed once more as she walked to the phone. Dropping the broken flower into the bin, she picked up the phone. 

She took a deep breath and forced a half manic grin on her face before she spoke in a peppy voice. 

“Hello! This is Caiwei at Jiangnan's Lilies. How can I help you?”

“Oh,” There was a pause over the phone long enough that Caiwei checked the small screen to see if the line was still open. It was, and a familiar voice came over the line. “I’m glad I got the Professional. You protected anyone’s honor today?”

Caiwei wanted to melt into the floor. She could hear the wide grin in his voice, the playful lilt in his tone. A hot flush burned across her cheeks and her heart started pounding in her chest. It wasn’t clear if this was from embarrassment or excitement from being able to talk to her idiot crush one more time. Either way the electric current flowing through her whole body was making it hard to think enough to string two words together. 

She covered her face with one hand taking a few deep breaths. She tried to start talking a few times only for the words to catch in her throat. 

“Sorry, ah– That was probably insensitive.” An awkward chuckle made Caiwei’s heart do a strange little tumble in her chest. “The bouquet is still very pink and very pretty, thanks. I ended up just taking it home myself after my visit with my sister. Really brightens the room up.” 

Caiwei finally forced air out of her lungs only to make the most strangled squeaking groan. It was the noise that an animal would make as it died . She dropped to the floor hiding her face in her knees. She could feel the heat of her face through her jeans . 

“Are— are you okay ?” Su’er sounded so earnestly concerned that it made the twisting anxiety unwind just enough for her to clear her throat and actually form words. 

“Yeah– uh. I’m fine. Just er– Just a little embarrassed still.”

“Ah don’t be. I told A’wu and she thought it was hilarious and that you should keep up the good work, both with the honor protection and the flowers. She loved the arrangements by the way. And she has impeccable aesthetic taste, so that is a high compliment.” 

“I’m glad she liked them.” 

“I like them too. But I have worse taste than her, so it's less impressive.” 

Caiwei couldn’t hold back the wide smile as it broke through the last of her anxiety. Raising her head she moved into a more loose and comfortable seat on the ground. She turned to look at the potted tiger lilies that were lined up on the ground. She started fiddling with some of the leaves and poking at the soil. 

“I dunno, if your fashion is a sign of your taste I think you have above average taste.”

“Well, jokes on you. You’ve been introduced to my sister's fashion sense.” 

“Your sister chooses your outfits, what are you five?”

“I feel insulted on behalf of all toddlers now. Outfits are hard.”

“Wait, are you serious?” She looked up from the lilies, her wide smile somehow widened further. There was a long pause over the phone. Caiwei bit back a laugh. 

“You are, aren't you! You let her dress you?”

“I am perfectly capable of putting my own clothes on, thank you very much.” Su’er’s voice was playfully sulky and petulant. 

“Oh look at you! Such a big boy now! Are you oh so proud of yourself?” She pitched her voice like how people talk to babies. A chuckle crackled over the phone. 

“I am, thank you for asking. And for the record we go shopping together often so she finds outfits that are fashionable for me and I just remember them and sometimes I mix and match myself. I’m not totally helpless, promise.” 

“I’m not really one to talk, I basically live in simple T-shirts and jeans I can get dirty.”

“Well, You’re cute.” 

The world came to a screeching halt and the gears in Caiwei’s mind slipped. She felt like she was floating like a piece of dandelion fluff on a warm summer day. This had to be a dream.

The split second that had stretched into an eternity was broken by jumbled words tripping over each other to leave Su’ers mouth.

“Ah– I mean you look cute in your clothes– no wait– well yes, but I mean the outfits are classic and you look really great– ah–” A shaky inhale was then followed by a long loud exhale. “I’m just going to circle back to you’re cute.”

“Thank you. That was a good circle to make, good conclusion.” Her cheeks were starting to hurt from the wide grin that seemed plastered to her face. “But it is really sweet that you and your sister go shopping together.” 

“Yeah, we haven’t been able to go for a while now.” Caiwei mentally cursed, and was about to jump in to apologize for the misstep only for Su’er to continue. “However, we’ll be able to go shopping together real soon.” He sounded so relieved.

“So, good news?” 

“Great news actually.” He let out a huff of a laugh. “She’s getting released from the hospital today.” 

“Oh wow! Congratulations! That is great news!” 

“Yeah, we think this is going to be it finally, just some R&R at home and this whole nightmare will be over.” His voice was thick with emotion, Caiwei squeezed the phone in a distant faux hug. She wished she could give the man a real hug. 

“You all made it, that's an amazing thing. Something to celebrate for sure.” 

“I know. I know.” His voice cracked, he cleared his throat before continuing. “Sorry, It’s been an emotional time.” 

“No problem, nothing to apologize for. I’m well versed on emotional times.” 

His easy going laugh was a little strained but the sound made Caiwei feel better. “I bet. A Flower Professional like you probably is on the same level as a bartender or a therapist.” 

“I wouldn’t go quite that far but I have given out my fair share of hugs and offered a listening ear.” 

“That’s very kind of you.” His voice was soft and full of something Caiwei couldn’t quite identify.

“I try.” 

“I bet you succeed.” 

“Thanks.” 

“Any time.” 

The warm exciting bubble that had been growing in her chest demanded attention. She flipped to her stomach and propped her head on her hands. She bent her knees and started to kick her feet in the air, some of that unbearable build up of excited energy dissipated. A dry lily leaf was in front of her and she started pushing it around with her finger. 

“Ah– I bet you have things to do today. So, I shouldn’t take up any more of your time.” 

Caiwei’s legs froze and she looked up from the leaf. She would never say it outloud but he could take up the rest of her shift and she’d regret nothing. He continued after a soft breath. 

“If you have time I’d love to order an arrangement for A’wu’s return home tonight.” He cleared his throat. “If it’s too short of notice–” 

“I definitely have time, no worries.” She cut him off. She looked up at the large clock on the side of the greenhouse wall and cringed. That was totally a lie. Her eyes flicked to the blue arrangement on the table above her. It technically was close to done, but she’d wanted to zhuzh it up a bit more but– It might have to be fine as is. And depending on what Su’er wanted it might eat into her commute time. But she could be late to class. This was a flower emergency, her professors knew this happened from time to time. 

“Oh, good!” He sounded incredibly excited and it turned Caiwei into a puddle. “I’d love a larger arrangement if possible, A’wu and her husband have a stupidly large coffee table and I want this arrangement to be in the way to an annoying degree.” 

Caiwei snorted. “You want to be annoying, got it. Be your delightful self and the flowers won’t even be necessary.” 

“Hey,” Su’er made an insulted sound. “Is that anyway to treat your most handsome customer?”

“Oh absolutely not,” Caiwei worked hard to keep her voice even, her lips twitching at the corners begging to break into a grin. “I would never treat Jorge that way.” 

“I don’t believe it. Jorge is a lie.” 

“Whatever helps you sleep at night, second place.” 

Jorge was a lie. But Caiwei would never admit it. 

“Second place?” 

“Mmhm. Second only to Jorge.” 

“Who is a lie.” 

She shrugged. “If you say so.” 

Su’er’s laugh resonated in Caiwei’s head turning her mind into jelly. It was such a good sound.  

“So you think I’m handsome?” 

Caiwei could imagine the man puffing up like a strutting peacock. The image made her face burn. She let the side of her face thump down onto the cool tile. It felt nice and the fuzz in her mind cleared as she cooled down. 

“You called me cute earlier so I’ll cut out the circle and return the favor.” Caiwei’s mouth felt dry as she tried to swallow. “Yes, you are handsome.” 

“Thanks, I know.” He clicked his tongue. Probably winking on the other side of the line. 

She shook her head with a smile. 

“So, the arrangement.” 

“What?” He sounded genuinely confused before jumping back in. “Oh! Yes, right! The arrangement. Big, if you can do that. But I’ll take whatever you can manage. I was hoping to pick it up around 6pm?” 

“Oh, hold on, I gotta grab a pen. Gotta leave a note for Charlie.” She scrambled to standing and darted towards the door to the store front.

“Charlie?”

“My coworker. They’ll be here once I head off to class.”

“Ah, so I won’t be able to see you when I pick it up.” His voice had a hint of disappointment.

She paused at the door, it half open, as she looked back at the clock on the wall. Her class started at six. And it was about a twenty minute drive, forty by bus. If she ordered an Uber she could maybe swing being twenty minutes late but that would be pushing the grace her professor gave her.

“My botany class starts at six today. And I can’t really be late. Sorry.” 

“That’s fine.” It didn’t sound all that fine from the disappointed tone, but Su’er pushed forward. “Hopefully you learn lots of great plant facts.” 

“We’re learning about bryophytes right now, so I definitely will. Moss is cool.” 

She pushed the door open to grab one of the fake flower pens at random. By coincidence it was the same Agapanthus pen from their first meeting. She smiled at the silk petals before grabbing the clipboard with the order forms.

“I don’t think I have thought that much about moss before but maybe you can explain what makes them cool sometime to me.” 

“I’d love to.” She started writing out some of the information she knew onto the form. Name, date of order, date/time of pickup. In the box of description she wrote the words ‘annoyingly big.’

“So beyond big, any other requests or do you just want me to go crazy?”

“You should be proud of me.”

“Oh? How so?”

“I asked for A’wu’s favorite flower. It’s Orchids. And her favorite color palette is what she called ‘peacock’ which I’m guessing is blues with some greens thrown in. She also said she really likes A-symmetry.” 

Caiwei took a few seconds to finish jotting down all the points. Looking over the list again she sat the pen down with a satisfied nod.

“Color me impressed. Most don’t do that much research.” 

“Bit of a nerd, so research is kinda my jam and jelly.” 

“Oh?” She tried to sound nonchalant but she was also ravenous for more information about this handsome man. 

“Civil engineer.” 

“Ay! STEM buddies!” She wanted to slap herself for calling him a buddy , but the full ringing laugh that crackled over the phone speaker calmed her concern. 

“That we are! I knew there was some reason I immediately took a liking to you.” 

“STEM majors gotta stick together so it makes sense.” She sipped the form from the clipboard. “So, for the arrangement I think we still have some actual peacock feathers left over from an event that had requested them. The feathers and an orchid rich arrangement would increase the price by a fairly significant degree.” 

“Eh, price is of no concern. This is for celebrating freedom from hospitals.” 

“And to be a bit annoying.” 

“Of course. Everything I do as a brother has to be at least a little annoying to my sister.”

Caiwei snorted. “Of course. Can’t have it any other way.” 

“You get it.” 

“I have an older brother.” 

“Oh so you really get it. Condolences. Older brothers are a menace to society.” 

“Yeah he can be, but can’t help but love him anyway.” 

They both sit there silently on the phone for a few moments. The only noise is some quiet breaths. Caiwei didn’t want to hang up. And if she was reading this right, Su’er didn’t want to either. She pushed down the blooming giddiness in her chest. She had an arrangement to put together, and not much time to perfect it. 

“Well, I better get to making the arrangement for you.” 

“Oh, yeah absolutely. Thanks again.”

“No problem, I’m glad to help be part of the celebration.” 

“I’m excited to see what you create this time.” 

“I hope you’ll like it.” 

“If The Professional makes it there is no way for me to hate it.” 

Caiwei giggled. “Alright you smooth talker, I gotta go make the ugliest arrangement to make you eat your words.” 

“Impossible, but feel free to try.” 

“Alright, I’ll be ready for pick up about twenty before six and Charlie will be in until about seven thirty so if you are running a little late just ring, okay?”

“Thanks, I will.” 

“Alright, bye, Su’er.” 

“Bye Caiwei.” 

The phone clicked. Caiwei stared down at the phone for all of five silent seconds before the dial tone started to ring out. She collapsed over the glass countertop, her forehead likely leaving a grease smudge and let out a flustered scream. That had gone much better than she ever could have hoped for. So good she flicked the tip of her nose hard enough her eyes watered. Not dreaming. This was real life. 

Wild. 

She sat up and twisted her head, popping her neck. As much fun as imploding from a crush like a middle schooler would be, she had work to do. 

This was going to be the best arrangement she’d ever made, even if it killed her. 

Chapter Text

Caiwei felt like she was walking on cloud nine. She tossed her keys in the leaf shaped ceramic bowl on the small table by the front door. The light tinkling was followed by a dull thump as she fell back against the now closed door. A dopey grin was stretched across her face as she imagined Su’er’s reaction to her arrangement. 

She’d outdone herself. The arrangement was full of turquoise Cremons and Carnations, deep blue Zinnia blossoms and royal purple Hyacinths. The arrangement was peppered with green cymbidium orchids and white phalaenopsis orchids. Some small clumps of purple Privet berry foliage were stuck between the flowers to add additional texture. The peacock feathers and various thin ferns were placed to attenuate the asymmetrical shape the flowers had been built into. Caiwei had wanted the arrangement to give the impression of a seated peacock, the feathers not on full display but still stunning as they brushed the ground behind it. If she’d had more of a heads up she’d love to add more varieties of flowers in each color and possibly use petals to cover a bird head mold to be able to make the impression be even stronger. Instead she’d just used some of the flowers to make a taller column of a bouquet to be the ‘head and neck’. 

She had ended up being a good ten minutes late to her class but had been able to slip into the back of the room with little more than an eyebrow raise from her teacher in her direction. He hadn’t even paused in the sentence he was in the middle of. She’d found herself slipping into daydreams, only to shake herself as she tried to focus, only to realize she was totally lost by the professor's lecture on the life cycle of bryophytes due to her imagining the reactions to her arrangement. Su’er’s wide open smile and cute laugh at a faceless sister’s exasperation from a giant flower-bird on her coffee table. Baby Jing’er having to be picked up by the nameless and faceless brother-in-law when his small wandering hands go to rip the flowers out of their place. 

She’d made it through the class but knew that she’d have to do a lot of self study when the professor pointedly looked at her at the end of the class stating that this would be on the exam. Caiwei had just packed up her notebook filled with doodles of flowers and peacocks with a blush. She’d totally been caught daydreaming after coming in late, which was embarrassing. But it wasn’t totally her fault that Su’er and his sweet smile had somehow wrapped himself into her brain like morning glory vines. She’d just make sure that she paid closer attention next class. 

Su’er was unlikely to come into the shop three times in the same week, so she was probably safe. 

Caiwei was daydreaming once more when she was startled out of the visions of happy family reunions to a familiar snort.

“Rourou! I think Weiwei is on drugs. Or got roofied! Come deal with your blissed out friend, I got an essay to write.”

Caiwei scowled at the man in front of her. He looked smug in his oversized hoodie, ratty sweats and a bowl of what had to be instant ramen in his hands, steaming up towards his mischievous grin. 

“Oh, did the euphoria finally end? My condolences.” 

“If I was on drugs, which I’m not , seeing you would immediately make the trip a bad one, Zane.” 

“Oooo ouch.” He touched a hand to his chest in mock insult. Caiwei felt a pang in her chest as some of the steaming liquid splashed onto the ground. “I don’t know how I will ever recover, Weiwei.” 

“Don’t call me that, I’m not six anymore.” 

“But you’re still so small! Tiny! A baby!”

Caiwei gave the man a flat look. “I’m only two years younger than you, and you are just freakishly tall.”

“Better than being freakishly short.” 

Caiwei rolled her eyes. “Don’t you have an essay to write?”

“That I do.” Zane gave a dramatic bow, spilling more of the broth onto the floor. He stood and struck a slight pose, which made Caiwei sigh. She knew what was coming before her roommate's brother started taking in a dramatic cadence. 

“We bid each other farewell beside the hill,/ As day meets dusk, I close the wooden gate./ Next year, in spring, there will be green grass again,/ But will my honoured friend return?”

“Nope, I refuse to return. Where is Rourou anyways?”

“Probably drawing with her music just a touch too loud to hear this riveting conversation.” Zane shrugged and looked down at the now wet bowl finding the puddle on the floor with a frown. He looked up at Caiwei with a sheepish look. “I’ll clean that up, promise.” 

“You better. Now I’m gonna go find Rourou to tell her I’m home.” 

With that Caiwei pushed off the door, letting her messenger bag slip off her shoulder and thump onto the couch. She walked down the hall to stand in front of the cracked doorway of her best friend’s room. She knocked and then immediately cracked the door open, peeking her head in. Rourou was doing some digital drawing, too zoomed in to tell what it was, and had her bulky headphones, listening to something she enjoyed as she swayed and bobbed her head. Caiwei smiled as she slipped her hand down to the light switch to flick it a few times. 

Rourou startled slightly before spinning in her chair and clawing one side of the headphones off her head. Her disgruntled expression morphed to one of joy as she realized that Caiwei was not her brother. 

“You’re home!” She slid her headphones down around her neck, pulling one leg up against her chest. “How was work and class?”

Caiwei crossed the room and flopped back onto the rumpled fluffy blanket. She then dramatically threw one of her arms over her eye with a groan.

“Your brother is a menace and just spilled noodle broth on the floor.” 

Rourou laughed, “Tell me something I don’t know. What was he teasing about this time.” 

“I was just smiling. ” 

“What were you smiling about?” The rumble of the wheels of the desk chair followed by a squeak of the Rourou leaning forwards. “Was it about a boy?”

Panicked over how hot her face suddenly felt, Caiwei twisted away from her friend hiding into both the corner of the room but also her hands. 

“Oh, I was just joking but it totally is a boy!!!”

The groaning and creaking of the chair was Caiwei’s only warning before her friend launched herself on top of her. She let out a grunt before trying to wiggle out from under Rourou who only cackled as she attached herself like lichen on a large tree. Sometimes Caiwei forgot that her best friend was still related to her annoying brother, and decided to go with the flow hoping to let the embarrassment end faster than drawing it out longer. She let the cool thin hands pry her own hands off her still hot face and turned to look at the grinning face of her roommate. 

“You have to tell me everything.”  

“There really isn’t much to tell.” 

“Your reaction says otherwise. Now, spill.” 

She loosened her grip enough that Caiwei was able to roll her off. The two ended up sitting up on the bed facing each other. Not wanting to gush over a boy, Caiwei moved a corner of the fluffy blanket into her lap and traced doodled flowers into the fuzz. Losing her patience Rourou nudged her with her foot, sending a look that practically screamed ‘get on with it.’ Caiwei scrunched up her doodled flowers as she took a deep breath.

“Well, it’s– remember the flirty guy I told you about? From last week?”

“Mmhm,” She nodded as a grin spread across her face. “Mr. Perfect-smile-and-laugh and you described in too many words but boiled down to hot? Yeah I remember. Did he come back?”

“He did.” Caiwei started fiddling with the blanket corner again before quietly adding, “yesterday.” 

“Yesterday!?” The corner was ripped out of her hand. “You are telling me that the man of your dreams came to your shop again? Did it go badly? Is that why you were ‘tired’ and acted all mopey yesterday?”

“Yeah. It was– bad. But he called again today. So I guess I didn’t scare him off.”

“Well that's good but let's back up. What happened yesterday?”

Caiwei wanted to be swallowed up by the ground. Becoming compost for a nice bed of flowers sounded better than having to relive the unadulterated embarrassment that she still felt about her actions. She didn’t want to think about it any longer then she had to, but at the same time maybe it would stop haunting her if she just blurted it out. 

“I accused him of cheating on his sister.”

Rourou just blinked a few times. A quick succession of multiple shades of confusion painted over her face. Finally settling, she leaned forward and gave the blanket back to Caiwei with a little pat on her knee.

“I think I am going to need more details.” 

Caiwei nodded and started to explain her day. Going over how she came to the conclusions she did, interjecting small moments to mention how cute Jing’er and Su’er’s reactions to things were. She watched as Rourou had to bite back a smile as she got to the accusation specifically the term ‘flower floozy’. She knew she was never gonna hear the end of this, and if she peeled back the thousands layers of embarrassment, Caiwei couldn’t deny– it was all a pretty funny story. She finished off about how Su’er reacted and then a bit about how their phone call went today, and how their back and forth was so natural. She even squeaked out how Su’er called her cute . Rourou leaned forward and excitedly shook her knee and quietly screamed. Once Caiwei’d gone over the phone call she passed her phone over to Rou Rou’s grabby hands, showing off a few quick snapshots of the arrangement she’d made. 

“Oh that’s stunning. ” She handed the phone back. “Soooooooo, he's coming back?”

“I have no idea.” 

“Caiwei, my best friend, who I only want the best for.” She crawled over to Caiwei, kneeling in front of her. She grabbed both sides of her face and brought their faces together. “You need to lock this boy down. ASAP.” 

“I don’t want to scare him off.” She pushed Rourou away from her face.

“You accused him of being married to his own sister, and he called the very next day , I think this boy’s been enchanted. Asking for a date, or heck, just his number , isn’t gonna scare him off.” 

“I dunno…” 

Caiwei shrugged and Rourou sighed. 

“Seriously, just ask him out, next time. It would probably make his day.” 

“He might not even come back. I don’t want to make it a big thing.” 

“You are delusional. He is super into you. But if you don’t want to jump on your dream man, that’s on you.” She shuffled back to lean against the wall. “When you die sad and alone at 94 I’ll bring the ugliest flower arrangement to your funeral.” 

“If you were still my friend into our 90s then I wouldn’t have been sad or alone.” Caiwei held her hands to her chest, blinking rapidly with a playful pout. 

“I know what you are trying to do, but no. Only ugly flowers unless you ask this boy out.” 

“Rats.” She snapped in fake disappointment. “You found me out. All I care about is having the prettiest flowers at my funeral.” 

“We’ve been friends forever, I would hope I’d know that by now.” Rourou deadpanned. 

They both laughed, letting the conversation naturally finish. They sat there in comfortable silence before the door creaked the rest of the way open to show Zane standing in what could only be an over exaggerated messy attempt at a ‘sexy doorframe lean’. The huge shining grin on his face and the amused twinkle in his eye caused Caiwei’s gut fall to the floor.

“I cleaned up the mess.” He then tilted his head up in her direction sending her stomach deeper towards the center of the earth. His grin somehow grew as he wiggled his eyebrows. “I just wanted the Flower floozy to know.” 

Caiwei felt her brain grind to a halt. Horror spread through her body as Zane started to cackle. 

“Your apartment has thin walls. I’m not even sorry, because that was great. ” 

A pillow that must have been thrown by Rourou, almost hit him in the face, but he ducked just in time. Caiwei just watched as the two siblings started to fight, chucking the pillows and plushies back and forth at each other. 

“Zane! Headphones!”

“They died! What was I supposed to do?” He peeked out from behind the door he was crouched behind.

“Not eavesdrop!?”

“Bah, how else am I supposed to get information?”

“Normal people talk to each other!” She threw a few cute animal plushies, one hitting him square in the face before he ducked back behind the door.

“Overrated.” He snaked an arm around the door to grab the cat plush to throw it back. “This is a better system.” 

“No it’s not!”

Caiwei just tuned them out as she let herself sink into her embarrassed horror, pulling the fuzzy blanket fully over her head. He was going to write about this. She just knew it. It wasn’t the first time one of her embarrassing stories ended up being in his various writing projects. And normally she didn’t mind too much. But—

She just hoped Su’er would never read it. If he ever did she’d implode.

Chapter Text

Caiwei decided that she wouldn’t ask Su’er out if he came back to the shop, much to both Rourou and Zane’s displeasure. They both kept dropping little hints over the past week that they thought she should, Rourou by hints and offering cute date ideas and Zane by texting romantic poems for her to ‘read to her man’. 

It was slightly annoying but she kept reminding herself that the two were just showing interest in her life and wanting the best for her. But at the same time she felt the pressure roll off her shoulders as she left the apartment. She knew what she wasn’t going to do, and that was ask this man out on sight like they wanted her too. She’d already made herself a fool once and maybe… maybe if a few more normal interactions happened she’d ask, but not in the timescale that the Fan siblings wanted. 

Caiwei just prayed that they didn’t get the youngest, Seth, in on the consistent hounding. The kid was the biggest gossip, and would want updates on the situation too. 

Two was enough. Caiwei didn’t need a bigger audience. If it was up to her there would be no audience. 

But arriving to her shift at the flower shop allowed her to mentally purge herself of the borderline overwhelming pressure she felt around her friends. She wrapped her apron around her waist, tying it behind her back. She took the old, slightly stretched out hair tie from around her wrist and carded her hair back into a high ponytail, mentally praying that it wouldn’t snap, as she’d forgotten to grab a spare.

It didn’t. Which she was eternally grateful for as she had a shipment coming in and her long hair would get snagged on things too much. She went about her day filling a few orders, tending to the plants in the back and manning the front once all her tasks were finished for the day. 

She tried to keep from looking at the clock, or thinking about how it was Thursday. The day that Su’er seemed to have decided is the day to come into the shop. 

Honestly she was actively trying to not get her hopes up. He seemed like a busy guy. Or really maybe not as he kept popping back to the flower shop, but Caiwei was trying to keep her expectations low incase he doesn't make his 2 week streak a three week one. 

She is only partially successful, mainly because Zane sent some Chinese poem which she told him to translate because she didn’t know most of the characters. He was too quick in the translation, meaning he knew she wouldn’t be able to read it and just was doing it to be slightly annoying. He wanted her to improve her reading, being Mr. Poetry Masters with a focus in Chinese poetry. But she could read English, so she was literate in one language, and she thought that was good enough. If she was gonna do anything she’d focus on talking. She shook her head and looked down at her phone to read.

I want to be your love forever and ever, / Without break or decay. / When the hills are all flat, / The rivers are all dry. / When it thunders in winter, / When it snows in summer / When heaven and earth mingle, / Not till then will I part from you .

As she read the translation and couldn’t help but find herself rolling her eyes as a smile grew on her face. It was so sappy, and Zane’s “It’s better in Chinese” text was ignored as she heard the door open.

It was Su’er. Right on time. 

He was looking good. In a cream loose button up which had cute small flowers of various colors growing up from the bottom edge. The front of the shirt was tucked into a pair of burnt orange well fitted slacks that matched the orange flowers. A dark brown leather belt poked out from under the shirt, and matched the dress shoes and band of his watch. It was stylish but still unique. Slung over one shoulder was what looked like a high quality olive green canvas laptop messenger bag.

“What’s got you smiling like that?” 

“Oh, I got a text from a friend. He likes to send me poems.” Caiwei waved a hand at the phone that was lighting up with more texts. Probably from Zane. 

“Was it a good one?” Su’er walked up to the counter and set his messenger bag down on the floor between the glass case wall and his feet. 

“It was a cute one. I like the sillier ones he finds personally.” 

“You like poems?” He leaned onto the counter slightly.

Caiwei waved her hand in a So-so motion. “Not particularly. Growing up around Zane taught me to appreciate them though, he has been weirdly obsessed with poems for a long time. What about you? You enjoy poems?”

“When I was a kid my parents made me go to Chinese calligraphy and ink painting classes. So I do enjoy some of the ones that I copied for that.” 

“Oh wow that’s super cool. You still do it?” It was Caiwei’s turn to lean forward onto the countertop.

“From time to time.” He shrugged with a smile. “I mainly do pictures though, it’s calming.” 

“It looks stressful to me, but I am glad you enjoy it.” 

Su’er laughed as he stood back up. “It can be pretty stressful that’s why I stick to ink paintings and less calligraphy.” 

“That makes sense. I’d love to see some, if you are willing to show me?”

“Ah–” His face pinched slightly before it smoothed back into his easy smile. “I don’t think I have any good examples on my phone. But maybe some other time I’ll visit my Father’s and get some pictures of some of my best work. I think he still has one or two hung up.” 

“Aww that’s cute.”

“Yeah, they were my mom’s favorite.” His smile softened for a second before he perked back up. “A’wu never really got into it, she was bigger into music, she is a killer on guzheng.” 

“That's the,” she mimed plucking the zither-like instrument, “one, right?”

“Yup! That is the one.” 

“Wow, super traditional hobbies.” 

Su’er reached up to scratch at the back of his neck. He laughed looking a little bashful. “Yeah, my parents wanted us to. And both me and A’wu didn’t really mind too much, as long as we could choose which things to a degree.” 

Caiwei nodded, “So did you take any other classes?”

“Oh for sure, I also took dance classes– I was nowhere near my sister's skill, but it was fun. I tried to learn how to play the pipa, the chinese lute, but I was so awful that my teacher asked my parents if he could switch me to a different instrument. Luckily, I was allowed to drop that one. I also took some martial arts classes. In highschool I joined some after school clubs for Engineering.” 

“Wow, that’s a lot. I thought I was cool for playing soccer as a kid.” 

“That is cool! You still play?”

Caiwei shook her head. “Not really, I was pretty little and kept getting distracted by the plants in the field. So my coach didn’t want to put me on the field once we got to a more competitive age. It is pretty fun to kick a ball back and forth with friends though.” 

Su’er nodded a lazy smile brightening his whole face. Caiwei found herself just staring at him. His eyes had the start of smile lines growing at the corners. His dark eyes twinkled and were warm. Under the excitement and joy there was a tinge of tiredness, but that isn’t that abnormal. The clean shaven chin was rectangular and shapely. She found herself wishing she could touch it. 

Which was embarrassing . She mentally shook herself from her zoning out at the man. Who, luckily for her, hadn’t seemed to notice her mental vacation as she explored his face. She stood upright and grabbed one of the flower pens to fiddle with.

“But, what can I do for you today, Su’er?” She pointed the daisy pen at the man.

He seemed to take a second to reboot back to the conversation before he perked up.

"It was the first day of summer, So I need some flowers to celebrate!"

Caiwei furrowed her eyebrows and tilted her head to the side. She tapped her phone to check the date. She looked up at the still smiling Su’er, baffled.

"It's… July ?"

"I'm a little late but they say better late than never!"  

He laughed as he gave her a slightly awkward little thumbs up. She chuckled as she returned the thumbs up before ducking down, sliding the daisy pen into her high ponytail. She rolled her eyes as she saw him lean over the counter to watch what she was doing. She grabbed the arrangement she had made earlier today and popped back up to set it on the counter between them.

“Well this is the arrangement I made today. I thought that these flowers worked well together with the various pastels. It might work better for the first day of spring celebration, then a summer celebration, though.” 

Caiwei fiddled with one of the pale pink roses that had shifted slightly, putting it back in place down into the vase. Su’er raised a hand to gently ghost his fingers over the small puffs of baby’s breath, across the soft yellow-cream Lisianthus petals and down the delicate stem of a light blue Delphinium flower.

“Flawless,” His voice was soft and a look of wonder covered his face as he finished looking at the flowers. Caiwei almost felt like she was intruding. Looking up at Caiwei with a more normal smile, his voice solidified. “I missed celebrating the first day of spring this year too, so it’s perfect, I’ll take it.” 

Something warm bubbled in her stomach as she slid another flower back into place with a smile. “I never doubted that you would.” 

“Awww thanks, Caiwei.” 

“Any time, Su’er.” 

Chapter Text

Starting after that first time marked a new pattern in Caiwei’s life. She’d go to classes, dodge prying questions from Zane, updating Rou Rou when he wasn’t around, go to work and then every Thursday afternoon Su’er would show up dressed nicely, usually with some sort of floral print, Caiwei noticed, to buy flowers. They would always chat back and forth a little before Caiwei brought up why the man was in a flower shop.  

And he never failed to surprise her. Today, he walked in with a slightly sad looking Dragon tree in a little transfer pot. She stared at the plant in his hands, a bemused face was for sure on her face, before she looked up at Su’er’s teasing smile. His eyes twinkled begging her to ask about the plant.

She pointedly ignored it as the plant was set on the glass case. She even wiped the dirt off the glass as they chatted. 

Su’er got more and more obvious about trying to get her to mention the plant as they chatted about literally anything else that Caiwei could think about bringing up. He fiddled with the pointed leaves, he picked it up and moved it closer to her a few times. Once he even picked it up and put it on his head.

After the poor plant almost fell off his head for the third time, Caiwei figured that she could throw the man a bone.

“What brings you, and your little plant friend to our shop today?”

Su’er’s smile was blinding as he brought the plant up to his face to nuzzle it like one might do to a small pet. Caiwei felt herself melt a little at the sight.

“It’s Take Your Houseplants on a Walk day! A very important holiday. Lots of people celebrate it!”

“I’ve never heard of this holiday,” She leaned forward with a smile, resting her elbows on the glass countertop. “Tell me more.” 

“Well it’s summer so outdoor plants are getting all the love in gardens and whatnot, we can’t forget the ones trapped inside! And getting them a chance to explore is good for them. More sun this way.” 

“Adorable.” She motioned to the Dragon Tree plant. Su’er gladly handed the plant over to her. She checked the soil. Dry as the desert. And the tips of the leaves were a little brown. Definitely in need of some water, maybe could do with a little fertilizer for a transfer. “Are you planning on transferring this plant when you get home?”

“What do you mean?” He cocked his head to the side with wide eyes, almost like a puppy. Cute. 

“Well, the sticker and tag from Home Depot are still on the pot and this is just the thin transfer pot. So not to call you out but I’m guessing you bought it recently. This is a Dragon Tree, and it’s going to need to be switched soon. This is a fairly little guy now, but they’re gonna need more space so might as well switch ‘em now.” 

“Oh, wow.” He blinked at her a few times. “You really know your plants.” 

“I’d hope so I am going to school for botany.” She huffed a laugh before handing the plant back. “Do you want a pot? We have some spares in the back.”

“Well, I’m a plant parent now, I wouldn’t want to be neglectful.” 

“Here come on into the back,” She started towards the door leading to the back of the shop motioning him to follow. “I’ll show you how to transfer a plant and some basics of care for your new plant baby.” 

He bowed ,his head ducking behind the plant before quickly popping up with a bright grin.

“I would be honored to learn from The Plant Professional.” 

—

Looking up at the sound of the shop door opening she smiled. Su’er had come into the shop. No plant this time, but he was wearing a pair of loose pants with flowers printed on the light cotton, a simple coloured t-shirt complemented the colors of the flowers. He pushed his sunglasses up onto the top of his head when he walked up to the counter.

“Oh, Hey Su’er, what are you celebrating today?”

Su’er looked panicked for a split second before an awkward smile spread across his face.

"Right…It’s uh– My dog’s birthday"

Caiwei absolutely did not believe him. Her smile grew devilish. And the man had a flash of fear shine behind his eyes.

"Oh you have a dog? That's cute, what's its name?"

"Um,” Su’er looked up and into the middle distance, before turning back. “Rex, yeah. Rex.”

“Did you have to think about the name of your dog?” Caiwei bit back a laugh as a blush spread across his cheeks.

“... yes?”

She couldn’t hold back the light laugh. He looked a little sheepish, at least he was aware he was being an awful liar. She raised an eyebrow at the man.

“Is this like the plant that you bought the day before taking it on its walk?”

“No?” 

Caiwei snorted as she poked one of the flower pens back down into the little arrangement.

“Alright, so what are you hoping to get for your very real dog for his very real birthday?”

Su’er put his hands on his hips and gave a fake little pout. “For some reason I am thinking you may think I am lying about having a dog.”

“Oh, I totally believe you have a very real and alive dog named Rex. What breed?” Caiwei struggled to bite back more laughter. She felt her lips squirm as she fought back the smile as she tried to deadpan.

“A Yorkie?” He leaned forward looking over his shoulders and cupped his hand over his mouth like he was sharing a secret and whispered, “That’s a dog breed, right?”

She lost it. Cackling, she put her forehead onto the glass counter. She could hear the soft chuckles of Su’er from above her. After composing herself she sat back up, nodding.

“Yep, it is a dog breed. So do you want… flowers? For your very real Yorkie named Rex?”

“Absolutely. Only the best for my bud.”  He nodded so seriously it almost made Caiwei lose it again. She swallowed her laughter with a nod as she crouched down to grab the arrangement that she’d made for him earlier that day. She paused looking at the burnt orange, cream and sky blue arrangement. She traced a finger over the Orange Capsida billy balls. And frowned at the small sky blue Tweedia flowers along with the cream roses and white Yarrow.

“I’ll make sure the flowers are non-toxic.” She looked up and over the arrangement at Su’er who was looking closely at one of the Orange Capsida flowers. He was poking at the ball flower. He looked up and ducked his head back down, obviously embarrassed for being seen poking around the arrangement. Caiwei just smiled. “You know, for your dog.” 

“Perfect,” Su’er stood back up, embarrassment already washed away as he nodded in fake seriousness. “I appreciate your dedication to Rex’s health.”

Caiwei cackled.

—

When Su’er walked in, a pastel blue aloha style shirt on with a pair of cream slacks, Caiwei was ready. 

“You have lots of holidays you celebrate, you know that?”

"Nope no holiday’s today.” The man practically bounced to the counter as he dropped his messenger bag down onto the ground. “I’ve decided I want to try edible flowers, do you have any recommendations?"

“Absolutely, I love eating flowers.” She scrunched up her nose as she tapped her chin. After a moment she frowned. “We don’t have a ton right now, but we have roses and pansies in the back you could try? We technically have lavender but it’s the wrong breed for the best flavor, the ones we have kinda taste like soap.”

“Pansies are edible?” Su’er leaned forward with a smile.

“Yup, they taste a bit like a mild lettuce flavor. Honestly they are some of my favorite flowers to eat by themselves.” She nodded as she smiled.

“Huh, The more you know I guess.” 

“If I’m adding them into a food, garlic flowers are amazing in with sauteed vegetables.” 

Su’er’s smile slowly grew bemused, his eyes flicking back and forth before settling back onto Caiwei.

“What does a garlic flower even look like? I’m imagining the bulb being the flower and that can’t be right.” He mimed the shape of a garlic bulb with his hand,

“Yeah, no.” She shook her head with a huffed laugh. “That is very much not what they look like. They’re kinda like a purple puff ball.” She used her hand to pantomime the flower. He stared just a little to blankly at her. She just rolled her eyes and popped up the first good picture that came up after she searched it on her phone. She handed it over to him. “Here, just like this.”

He grabbed the phone and brought it up to look at the garlic flower. He nodded looking intrigued.

“I don’t know what I was expecting but those are cool looking. Different from the orange puff ball flowers from last week.” 

“Oh yeah those were Craspedias. I don’t think they are related to garlic. But honestly I’m not sure.” 

Su’er clasped at his chest, his face dripping with surprise. “You are trying to tell me The Plant Professional doesn't know?”

“Dunno if you knew this. But there are a lot of plants.” She leveled a look at him.

“This is true, important wisdom from The Plant Professional.” Su’er nodded sagely. Which made Caiwei snort. “But we were talking about garlic flowers, I’m going out on a limb and assuming they taste like garlic?”

“You are correct, they do. Maybe I’ll order some just for your next arrangement.” 

“Oh, that would be great. Thank you.” Caiwei had to drag her eyes away from his blinding grin. She reached down to grab the card machine, typing in the price of the bouquet. Handing the machine over to Su’er she looked up into his dark warm eyes.

“They do smell like garlic, not crazy strong but enough to be noticeable. Just a warning.”

“Ooo,” His smile twisted into a mischievous grin, reminding Caiwei too much of Zane right before he pranked Rourou. She felt a small shudder travel up her spine as he finished up paying for his flowers and passed the card machine back to her. “Maybe I’ll gift that arrangement to A’wu. It’s been a while since I pranked her.” 

Caiwei laughed at her internal ‘big brother prank’ alarm. She rolled her eyes as she put the car reader by the cash register. At least Su’er’s pranks seemed genuinely harmless.

“Perfect, I’ll make sure we have some in the back next time you come.” 

“Perfect!” He clapped his hands before looking toward the door to the back before looking back at her “So can I try some of those pansies and Roses then?”

“Give me a second, I’ll go grab some.” She paused, watching the slight slump to Su'er's shoulders. She couldn't hold back a smile as she gestured with her head towards the door. "Or better yet come on back with me. I still need to feed the Koi." 

Chapter Text

It was Thursday again. Caiwei cannot deny that she’d woken up with a spring in her step and a grin on her face. Rourou had smirked over the edge of her lumpy handmade mug. The steam swirled in the air around her face as she rapid fire whispered even more date ideas. Caiwei had just rolled her eyes, taking a large bite of her eggs to finish them. As she moved to put her bowl in the sink she lightly pushed her best friend’s head to the side, which was successful in getting her to stop going on and on about how the mountains are full of fields of beautiful flowers this time of year. It, however, didn’t stop her from making kissy faces and telling Caiwei to “go and get her man.” With a final eyeroll and sigh from Caiwei, they both silently parted ways to finish getting ready for the day, as Zane had passed out on the couch and waking him up sounded like a nightmare. 

As she unlocked the door to the apartment to leave, Caiwei turned to salute Rourou as the younger sibling folded and moved the sleeping laptop from Zane’s chest and replaced it with one of the various crocheted blankets over the now snoring grad school squatter. She smiled at the sweet sibling moment as she slowly closed the door behind her. It warmed something cold in Caiwei’s chest every time she got to peek behind the curtains to see just how deeply all the Fan siblings loved each other, even though they got on each other’s nerves regularly.

Caiwei crossed the road to the bus stop and let her mind wander as she looked up at the ginkgo tree that had been planted next to the stop. The light hit the fan shaped leaves making them look like they were shimmering as the slight wind ruffled them. She smiled to herself, thinking about how maybe next week she’d integrate ginkgo leaves into his arrangement. He seemed to appreciate more funky shapes, and it wouldn’t be too hard to snatch a few branches if she just left a little earlier in the morning.

The bus arrived just on time and she started mentally arranging the ginkgo leaf arrangement thinking of which flowers would complement the bright green and the fan shape. She found her seat near the back of the bus as she imagined Su’er’s wide easy grin and child-like wonder he would have when he’d see the leaves mixed in. She might even look up some fun facts about ginkgos, as they were strange. The bus ride to work finished in what had to have been the normal fifteen minutes but it felt like the blink of an eye. She almost missed her stop but was able to pull the chord when she came back to herself. She thanked the bus driver with a small wave and started to walk the last few blocks to the flower shop. 

Caiwei’s boss looked like he’d swallowed a whole lemon when he’d brought her order form for purchasing the garlic flowers last week. But she’d reassured him that the buyer was a regular and that he’d specifically asked for them, and yes he knew they kinda smelled. That was the goal . The garlic flowers had arrived the day before, just in time for Thursday, and they were perfect. The colors were slight variations of lavender a few closer to off white, but Su’er didn’t seem to be too focused on the color of the arrangements. It was probably the engineer in him but he seemed to like the more interesting geometric flowers, the unique textures and shapes turning him into a curious kid poking and prodding at the new plants.

Caiwei wasn’t above admitting she thought it was adorable every time. 

However, after looking at the garlic flowers once more in the shop, she was a little nervous about the variation of the coloring. Honestly, she could probably shove a bundle of mismatched dandelions into an old chipped mug and Su’er would find something to complement and would show off his pretty smile. But this arrangement wasn’t for Su’er, but for his ‘very fashionable’ sister, A’wu. Who in all likelihood did care about colors. She’d just have to work with the color variation as it wasn’t like garlic flowers were overly easy to come by. Beggars can’t be choosers. Caiwei was tempted to throw in some orchids but with the specially ordered garlic flowers, the arrangement would already be almost twice as expensive as the normal arrangements he’d been buying. She figured she’d hold off.

The large puffs of purple garlic were mixed with an array of cream roses and carnations, mixed ferns added green to the arrangement. A few tiger lilies that were left over from a larger order were added to fill out the colors a bit and maybe draw the eye away from the stinky garlic flowers. She hadn’t forgotten this was a prank arrangement, but still wanted to leave a good impression, not wanting this woman’s second impression of her to be some half thrown together bundle of stinky flowers. Caiwei placed the last lily and twisted the arrangement to double check it looked good from all angles. 

The color scheme was not the most standard, but a woman who liked a peacock theme and dressed Su’er in the vibrant clothes he wore. She would likely enjoy a split complementary color palette. Or at least Caiwei hoped so. While this might be a prank, Caiwei wouldn’t be caught dead allowing it to be ugly. Finishing the final tweaks, she placed it into the walk-in fridge in the back. She didn’t want to prank herself and the customers today by making the counter smell like garlic.

Before leaving, she took one of the old misprinted business cards they used for in house labels, and wrote “For Su’er” adding a quickly lopsided heart after his name. She looked at the asymmetrical wonky heart and was sure that her heart looked like that from the way it thudded loudly and twisted in her chest. She scratched a hole into the business card as she took the pen to the cardstock like one would take a knife to a cheating husband. She snapped the pen in her hand, getting ink all over her fingers, totally ruining the card. She watched blankly as the ink slowly dripped off her fingers and spread covering up Su’er’s name. 

She shook her head as she crumpled the card trying to use it to soak up as much of the thick ink off her hand as mortification filled her. What was she doing ? Sure, she couldn’t write a heart after his name. But shattering a pen and distroying the card was maybe a slight over reaction. Her gut flip flopped as she threw the card into the trash and grabbed a new pen and card. The crisp clear, professional , ‘Su’er Wang’ was placed in front of the slightly smelly flowers. She ignored the small ink finger print along one of the sides as she fled the chilly fridge. 

She shut the fridge’s door behind her and leaned against it with a thump. She put her non ink covered hand up to cover her eyes, and pressed the back of the wrist of her dirty hand against the crown of her head, hitting herself lightly a few times. She took a few deep breaths. The blood rushed to her face as she came to terms that she really just did that.

Once she had calmed down enough to be a functional human being again, she did her best to stay busy to keep her mind off of everything . She took clippings, watered the plants, checked the cut stock flowers, fed the koi, swept and mopped. She was done with everything before noon. She then moved on to the front where she talked to customers as they came in, and took a few phone calls with new orders. Her heart did acrobatics with each ring of the door chime and phone call. 

As the sun rose and then started to sink lower, the golden rays shone into the large windows of the shop. Caiwei couldn’t help but feel giddy. The blooming twisting vines of excitement tangled around her insides, tickling and squeezing as the day continued on. Watching as the sun moved across the floor further and further Caiwei started to feel antsy. She watched the small specks of dust swirl in the afternoon sun. As the light slowly faded, cut off by the buildings on the other side of the street, the excited vines from earlier hardened in her chest. Now gnarled and woody, she felt like it was hard to catch her breath through her concern. She tried to cut back the thickening forest of worries with a shaky smile as she stood to close up the shop. 

“He probably just was busy today. Maybe he’ll run in tomorrow with some wild excuse. It’ll be fine.”  She mumbled to herself as she untied her apron. She hung it up and gripped it tight, around where some of the ink had stained it from earlier. She let go with a sigh. 

Life happens, everything is probably fine. Being paranoid about a regular missing his new weekly ritual wasn’t helpful for anyone. Especially her. 

Rolling her shoulders back she flipped the light switch. It was still sunny out, so the light just ever so slightly dimmed in the shop. She walked through the back, ghosting her fingers over the leftover almost white garlic she’d set aside for her and Su’er to taste, deciding the color to be too faded for the arrangement. She picked up one and twirled it in her fingers, watching the incredibly pale purple smear into a full orb. She set the flower back onto the work desk with another sigh and flicked her own forehead. She was being ridiculous, Su’er was his own person, missing an unspoken meet up wasn’t something to be concerned over. It was fine.  

After gathering the flowers and placing them by the arrangement in the fridge she paused, looking down at the card. Embarrassment filled her gut as she almost ran out of the fridge for a second time that day. She let out a borderline hysterical giggle. Caiwei was in too deep. She would never be able to talk to anyone about this mix up unless she wanted to actually be swallowed up by the floor. Her crush was crushing her. She ran a hand over her tied back hair taking a few leveling breaths before she finished closing shop. 

She flicked the last lights off as she locked up, looking back in the direction of the fridge. The slight smell of garlic filled her nose as she took a deep breath.

Everything was fine, she reminded herself, as she walked out into the early evening sun. Closing her eyes she took a second to feel the sun on her skin. There was nothing to worry about. It was just her massive crush making mountains out of molehills. 

However, as the days, and then weeks, dragged on and the vibrant purples of the garlic started to fade and then wilt Caiwei couldn’t help but wonder if she was wrong.

Chapter Text

Caiwei had yet to tell Rourou about her current situation and serious dilemma. She wanted to so badly, but instead she just squirrelled herself away, claiming to be off studying at the library, or needing to pick up extra shifts. 

In actuality, she was just avoiding Rourou. 

Not because she disliked her friend. Instead it was because Caiwei knew that Rourou would be a good friend and take her side. Her righteous indignation would sway Caiwei from whatever she was feeling into anger. Which.... left a sour taste in her mouth. She didn't hate Su’er, not even a little. She was disappointed and upset about being dropped like a half dried out hobby garden. She was frustrated about not knowing why . But she wasn't angry, mostly she was worried.

And part of her worried that if Rourou told Zane, the man would hunt Su'er down and be the first murder in human history somehow done via poetry.

Su'er had been so excited for the garlic flowers. And now holding the dried, crumbling flowers in the saddest bouquet was doing things to Caiwei's heart. It didn't help that she'd have to slip her boss some cash to cover half the cost of the flowers. 

Holding the dead flowers to her face she took a deep breath, the faint smell of garlic stinging the back of her nose. 

Caiwei was like a freshly tilled field of soil. The feelings in her had been tumbled together in heaping mounds. The roots of the various weeds now lay to waste, baking in the sun. 

Her fist tightened around the stems, breaking a few of the thinnest ones. She set the bundle onto the work table with more force than needed. Breaking more of the delicate spindly stems and crushing the petals. The faded purple, white, and brown blurred behind a curtain of tears. She took a deep breath and dug the heels of her palms into her eyes 

Maybe this was better. She was a fresh field. She was all torn up now, but now she was ready for new seeds. Maybe a nice field of sunflowers or lavenders. Unfortunately the soft soil that made up her heart was dead set on Su'er shaped marigolds.

Caiwei let out a sad little laugh. It was so stupid to be this upset about some little crush. Knowing she was being ridiculous wasn’t going magically to make her feelings stop, no matter how much she wished that was how it worked. 

Even if nothing in their weird relationship continued or progressed, Caiwei would like to know what happened. However, now at the end of her shift, a full month since she last saw any sign of the attractive whirlwind that was Su’er, she needed to come to terms with the fact she likely would never know. 

She needed to lock up the front of the store.

However, if she walked out into the front, she’d be crushed. Locking the door felt like closing the door on what could have been. 

Caiwei had watched too many rom coms with Zane, and a significant part of her hoped that she’d finally get the courage up to lock that door and somehow Su’er would be standing out of the shop. Rain running down him, his white shirt soaked and clinging to him, he’d pound on the glass window. She’d open up and he’d confess to his feelings, and they’d kiss and it would be happy ever after. 

But, that was just a fantasy. It was hot, a bit muggy, and there was not a cloud in the sky. There would be no handsome man begging her to give him another chance. There would be no kiss or happily ever after. 

It would just be a mundane, boring closing shift. Click the lock to the side, walk to the bus and once she got home, eat some leftover katsu pork she had in her fridge. 

It should be simple and easy, but she was frozen, unable to even get within arms distance of the lock. She’d done every other task, she just needed to lock that front door. Instead she had tucked herself in the back, comfortable between the lilies and the daisies. 

The dead garlic between her fingers was a harsh reminder that all things come to an end. That it was time to lock the door. 

Rolling her shoulders, Caiwei took a deep breath in through her nose. Blowing it out slowly, the air scattered the crushed petals and smaller bits of dried leaves and stems. Tightening her grip around the flowers, she strode to the waste bin and held them over the open maw. Her fist shook as she fought with her own hand to just open. She begged her fingers to budge. She used her other arm to try to lower the flowers closer, but the flowers were stuck just a foot or so above the bin, like two magnets refusing to get any closer to one another.

Snarling at herself, she spun on the ball of her foot and stomped back to the work bench. She tossed the dead flowers onto the table, and yanked a single sheet of royal purple tissue paper next to the pitiful flowers. Slamming the dead flowers onto the sheet she wrapped them up. It kind of felt like she was wrapping a body in a burial shroud, but it felt more correct than just throwing them away.

It was ridiculous. It was stupid. But she couldn’t just throw these flowers away. She’d paid for them. It didn’t matter if they were beyond dead, she was going to take them home. 

She couldn’t give up just yet. 

The paper crunched as she grabbed it off the table. The zombie bouquet was likely to get weird looks from Rourou, but she had a whole bus ride to come up with some sort of excuse. 

Or at this point she… might just be honest.

A frustrated strangled cry filled the back room. Caiwei stomped her foot before she stormed off towards the front door. She needed to just get home. She needed to talk her feelings out with Rourou, probably cry an embarrassing amount, and then eat her weight in ice cream. 

The lock was daunting to see in person, but she turned off the lights and exited the store. The garlic flowers tucked under her arm, she used the key to lock up from the outside. Caiwei turned around and leaned back against the door. Her head fell back with a loud sigh. Caiwei closed her eyes against the late afternoon sun, hating her idiotic lovesick heart. 

That was harder than it should have been. 

The echoes of Su’er’s voice saying her name bounced around her mind. She could have sworn she’d heard it, but it couldn’t have been more than her imagination. Caiwei was going certifiable over this boy, which was just embarrassing. 

Might as well confess to her best friend that she was going insane over a crush. She pushed herself off the window and started off down the street.

“Caiwei! Wait!” 

She paused. The quick pounding of running joined the yelling voice. 

“Please, hold on!”

There was no way. She turned around and immediately realized her worry from earlier was not unfounded. 

Su’er was a mess. His hair was greasy, and unkempt. A smattering of acne had creeped up on his usually flawless skin. His eyes were red rimmed and puffy like he’d been crying. A deep wrinkle cut between his eyebrows. The normally mirth filled eyes swam in sadness. The dark eyes were drowning. 

His outfit screamed ‘mid breakdown’ as well. His shirt was one of those touristy airbrushed to look like graffiti shirts she’d seen artists make down on the pier. It exclaimed ‘Best Big Bro Su’ with a large neon yellow and pink heart around it. It also looked about two sizes too big, but the front edge was half tucked into the worn sweatpants. They were mostly black, but a few bleach stains left strange rust orange splotches down one leg. He only had one red slide on, the other about half a block behind him. It must have fallen off in his mad dash down the street. He held both his hands out for Caiwei to wait, desperation dripping from the motion. She nodded and he looked relieved. She noticed his sock was dirty as he half paused his running with a weird half skip to run back for the missing shoe. He didn’t even put the shoe on, instead just grabbed it before turning back on a dime and hop skipping back to her. 

He plastered a horribly shaky smile over his face as he slowed to stand in front of her. It was faker than the flowers taped to the pens in the shop. She wasn’t buying it at all. 

“Hey, Caiwei. Glad to catch you,” he said between heaving breaths.

“Are you okay?” she asked bluntly. 

He blinked, taken aback. The smile slipped momentarily before he shoved it back on his face. She hated it.

“Oh, yeah I’m, uh, fine. Yeah. I’m fine.” 

Caiwei pursed her lips. Nothing about him seemed fine. Caiwei would eat the slide that Su’er was twisting in his hand if he was anything but ‘mid crisis’. If Su’er was anything like Zane when he got to mid crisis, there was a fifty fifty chance that point blank calling him on it would work. However, if it didn’t work, he would triple down on being fine.

The glassiness of Su’er’s eyes and the slumped angle of his shoulders made Caiwei pretty sure that the man needed help yesterday . And at least twelve hugs. It was a horrible bet, but being blunt could get the man the comfort and help he was all but screaming for. 

“No offense, but that’s clearly a lie.” She took a step forward, and a bit softer continued, “I can’t help if I don’t know what’s wrong.” 

His face crumpled, and like a train wreck, Caiwei couldn’t look away. A broken cry bubbled out of him, and tore her heart in two. She took another step forward and held up her arms, offering a hug. Su’er looked unsure but closed the distance, dropping his shoe. He didn’t stop Caiwei as she tentatively wrapped her arms around his middle. After a few tense seconds of Caiwei’s mind racing about overstepped boundaries, Su’er dropped his head to hang over her shoulder and his hands rose to press gently against the small of her back. She took that as permission and gave him a squeeze. Su’er’s breath hitched in a quiet sob at the motion, but didn’t step away or tense. If anything, he relaxed into the hold. 

A sad smile spread across Caiwei’s face. She didn’t know what was wrong, but this felt like a step in the right direction. 

After a few more shaky deep breaths, Su’er dropped his hands and started to back away. Caiwei let him go even though she didn’t want to. Su’er wiped his wet eyes with a self deprecating smile. 

That smile was worse than the fake plastic one from earlier. 

“Sorry, I– uh, don’t know what came over me.” 

Caiwei squinted at him. She wasn’t going to let him off the hook that easily. “Is it about your sister?”

“What?” Su’er’s confusion broke the horrible smile, before a smaller relieved smile took its place. “Oh, no. A’wu is doing great. The doctors are pretty hopeful that this will be it. Her scans looked clean and all we can do is wait to see if she can be officially considered in remission.”

“I’m glad.” Caiwei was happy, but at a loss as to… what this all was about then. “Do… you need flowers then?”

Su’er turned to look at the very clear closed sign on the door. “Aren’t… you closed?”

Caiwei shrugged with a wry smile. She dragged the keys out of her pocket and jangled them between the two of them. “I don’t know if you know this, but I’ve got the keys to the flower kingdom.” 

“Does that make you the flower princess?” Su’er cocked his head to the side, some playful flare sparking behind the sad eyes. 

Caiwei smiled. “That’s flower queen .” 

“Of course, Your Majesty.” He dramatically curtseyed which made Caiwei snort.  

“I’m a generous queen, so no need for such formalities.”

“Oh good,” he wiped fake sweat from his brow. “Court politics stress me out.” 

“I bet you’d do fine.” Caiwei looked over her shoulder as she slid the key back into the door. “Probably could prevent a coup or two.”

“What, I’m not the one causing the coup?” He quirked up an eyebrow.

“Nah, you aren’t power hungry like that. You’re too kind.” 

The door’s little bell chimed as she held it open for Su’er. He looked dazed and a little at a loss for words. He snapped out of it, walking into the shop. 

“Uh, how were your finals? Those…” He swallowed, his eyes darting to the side. “Those happened by now, yeah?”

“Yep, last week.” She nodded with a smile crossing to lean against the glass counter. “Aced my summer quarter. Okay, I technically got a B+ for my math class, but for me that is an A. I hate math.”

“Hey, math’s not so bad.”

Caiwei laughed as she rolled her eyes. “Says the engineer.” 

“You got me there.” He laughed, crossing his arms over the garish shirt. He leaned against the counter next to her. 

It was nice to be on the same side instead of separated by the thick glass case. This way she could see the patterns in his dark eyes as they caught the light. They normally looked totally black, but within the dark iris were twisting roots weaving in and out of beautiful soil. They were pretty, even when a little bloodshot.

 It struck her that the two of them had just been staring at each other. She stood upright and dropped the withered bouquet onto the desk and picked up one of the flower pens. 

“So, what do you–” 

“Wait are those–” They said at the same time. 

Su’er awkwardly chuckled, massaging the back of his neck with a hand. Caiwei mirrored the motion but scratched the back of her head with the pen. 

“You first,” she said. 

“Oh, I was just… Those are the garlic flowers, right?”

“Yeah,” Caiwei glanced down on the sad pitiful bunch. “Or… what is left of them.”

Su’er cringed and Caiwei immediately felt bad. He sank into himself as his eyes started to mist up again. “Sorry, by the way I just sort of–” 

“Life happens,” Caiwei cut him off. “I can empathize. I was worried.” 

“Worried that your second most attractive customer found a new place to get flowers?” Su’er joked. 

Caiwei shook her head. “No, I was worried about you. I thought something might have happened, and I didn’t know how to help.” 

“Oh.” Su’er was shellshocked, his eyes unfocused and glazed. It was like this was something that never crossed his mind. Caiwei slid close enough that their arms were touching. 

“This is probably weird to say, but I really look forward to seeing you. It was the highlight of my week to hear what insane excuse to buy flowers you came up with. You were so excited to come back and try the garlic, so when you didn’t show up, I got super worried. There were multiple times I thought about going into our records and getting your phone number but that felt like overstepping and–” 

“I thought about calling the shop.” Su’er cut her off, grimacing with embarrassment. “... a lot actually, but I just… I never… the time just…” He sighed, giving up.

“It was a bad month?” she offered.

Su’er shifted, leaning a little into her arm. He sniffed and as he turned his face away, Caiwei caught sight of a single tear rolling down his cheek. “Uh, yeah, you could call it that.” 

“I’m sorry you had a bad month.” Caiwei leaned into his arm.

“It’s not your fault.” 

“I know, but I’m still sorry.” 

Su’er turned to look back at her. A strange expression on his face as he peered down at her. It sort of made her look like a bug under a microscope, but Su’er blinked and the expression was gone. 

“Do you…” His voice was wavery and thin. “Do you have any flowers good for funerals?”

Caiwei’s heart sank into her gut. She leaned forward, keeping her voice soft. “I’m so sorry for your loss.” 

“It… She died five years ago.” His face twisted with self hatred. “I should be over it.” 

Frown lines carved deeply into his face. Caiwei wished she could smooth them out like an artist’s hands over clay. 

“Grief takes time.” 

“Everyone else is fine, and moved on. I— I just can’t ,” he spat out. Su’er took a large breath before sighing, pinching his nose. “Sorry, I… There are a lot of bad memories.” 

“You know, I’m a pretty good listener.” Caiwei fiddled with the daisy pen before holding it out to him. “If you ever want to talk about those memories, I’ll listen.” 

Su’er looked like he’d swallowed a lemon. Caiwei opened her mouth to walk back her statement, or to apologize for overstepping or something , when Su’er ever so slowly took the pen from her hand. Caiwei silently watched as he examined the silk flower, he picked it apart with his eyes. He brushed his fingers over each of the petals. He pulled at the thread that was fraying at the edge of one of the petals. He picked at the bit of florist tape that had bunched up around the end of the pen. Su’er raised it to his nose and took a deep breath. A small smile brightened his face as he turned to Caiwei.

“They smell nice?”

“Oh, uh, yeah.” Caiwei kicked her foot out, and tapped her heel against the tile, her shoe squeaking a bit. “You kept trying to smell them so I…” She mimed spraying the little perfume bottle she’d gotten.

“Thanks.” He focused back on the flower. Caiwei wasn’t sure what was going through his mind, and she wished she did. After a good minute, Su’er quietly spoke. 

“I didn’t go to her funeral.” 

Caiwei nodded, listening. 

“It was my mom and I didn’t even go, and just like A’wu warned me, I regret it every day. I should have gone.” Su’er held the flower pen between his hands like it was something precious. “My sister is so smart it is frustrating at times. I wanted to go but I…” Su’er trailed off, his expression lost in the middle distance of memories. 

Caiwei just waited, hoping he’d come back and finish as he clearly needed to talk about this. And she wasn’t lying. She was willing to listen. 

“Maybe it is stupid,” Su’er huffed. “But I thought maybe if I finally got up the guts and went and had my own ‘funeral’ for her, I could finally, I don’t know, let it go?” 

“I don’t think that is a stupid idea at all. I think it could be very healing.” 

“... You do?” Su’er peered over at her from the corner of his eye. 

“I do.” Caiwei nodded with a small smile. ”If you want I could walk you through making a bouquet? Make it more personal that way. If not I can just–” 

“I’d really like that.” He cut her off. His hands were twitchy around the pen, one of his hands even crumpling the frayed petal, making it worse. Caiwei would just hide that pen until she could replace the flower. He followed her eyes down to his hands and he tossed it onto the counter. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to…” 

Caiwei picked it up and put it behind her ear. “All good. It needed to be replaced anyway.”

“Ah, okay.” Biting his lip, Su’er crossed his arms and gripped his elbows tightly. “But, my mom always said she preferred homemade gifts. Something about them having part of the soul of the gift giver. I think she’d prefer me making her bouquet.”

“What a mom thing to say.” 

“Yeah,” Su’er wiped the corner of his eye with a soft smile. “Dad hated it though. She’d want to display and hang up any and all gifts A’wu and I gave her growing up. She once argued that the ugly painting I gave her when I was ten was a ‘masterpiece’ and couldn’t be replaced with an original Cui Ruzhou.” His laugh was small but happy. Its magnetic pull slid Caiwei to his side once more. 

“They ended up compromising by hanging them side by side in the front room. It was embarrassing, my horrible painting being by something so well done, but it also… was really nice.” 

“She sounds like a good mom.” 

“She was the best.” Su’er’s eyes filled with tears and he looked up at the ceiling, trying to blink them back. Caiwei reached up and patted his shoulder.

“Let's go make her a great bouquet then. One she could brag about.” 

“Can… it have forget-me-nots?” 

“I think we have some, yeah.” 

“She had a bunch of them in her garden. She liked them.” 

“Perfect then, I’ll grab some white flowers and the blue of the forget-me-nots can be a nice accent.” 

Su’er smiled. “Of course, I’ll take the flower professional’s lead.” 

“I thought I was the flower queen now.” Caiwei stood from where she’d been leaning, swiping the dead garlic bundle off the desk.

“Oh, right, I’m sorry, Your Majesty.” He bowed this time, before following her into the back room. She set him at the work desk.

On the way to gather the flowers she’d need, she chucked the garlic flowers in the bin without a second thought. 

Live flowers were always better than dead ones.

Chapter Text

Su’er tied the tissue paper around the flowers as Caiwei shoved her perfectionism into a tiny little box and stomped on it in an attempt to kill it. She’d made sure to let Su’er take the lead, and while not horrible for a beginner, there were some small things that if she was doing it, she’d change. The white lilies were competing for space with the white mums and roses. While there was some variation, the various types were a bit more bunched together. There was a bunch of four mums that sat right next to each other while the roses were more evenly spread out. The small spots blue from the forget-me-nots was a nice variation from the white, but Su’er said he wanted to make sure they were visible and the stems were just ever so slightly too long, making them stick out a bit awkwardly. 

It was clear Su’er had some artistic eye as it wasn’t as bad as it could have been, but all the small quirks and choices were smoothed out to perfection as he looked at the bundle of flowers with such pride. The warm smile melted the perfectionistic frost that had clung to the corners of Caiwei’s mind. If Su’er liked it, then it was perfect. 

“So,” Su’er looked up from where he had been softly stroking one of the long lily petals. “How much for this bouquet?” 

“Don’t worry about it.” Caiwei shook her head, forcing her eyes up from his hands to his face. “It’s on the house.” 

“At least let me pay for your work.” 

“You made it, not me.” 

“But you showed me how. Teachers get paid too.” 

“If you insist.” Caiwei shrugged. 

“I do.” He stood, holding the arrangement close to his chest. His soft expression warmed something in Caiwei. “Please this… means a lot.” 

“Okay, I’ll ring you up.” She stood and walked towards the door to the front. She stopped and turned around. “But it’ll just be the cost of the flowers.” 

“You are ridiculous. I’ll just leave a hefty tip.” 

“I can’t stop you. It’s your money.” Caiwei used her shoulder to swing open the door. Something about walking around the glass counter felt awkward. It felt off. It was like she was trying to repot a plant into a smaller size, only for the roots to be squeezed and for no dirt to fit. The maybe yard of distance felt like a mile, and the quiet that settled over them was tense as she waited for the register to turn back on. Caiwei wanted to say something, but nothing came to mind. She flicked her eyes over to the man on the other side of the counter. From his impression of one of the koi fish gasping for air at the surface of the pond, he also was at a loss for words. 

“Card?” Caiwei squeaked out finally, holding her hand out.

“What?” Su’er blinked a few times, rebooting. He patted his pockets, only for dawning horror to flood his face. “Oh no.” 

“Forgot your wallet?”

He nodded. “I swear I will pay you. I’ll come in tomorrow and do it first thing.” 

She waved him off. “I got tomorrow off. Don’t worry about it, you can pay when you get a chance to, or don’t. Actually, think of this as a gift for being a loyal customer.” 

The words were sour in her mouth as she turned the register back off. Su’er… wasn’t just some customer. Not really. Not anymore.

“... Or better yet, this of this as a favor from a friend.”

Su’er’s face broke into his full bright beautiful smile at her words. Caiwei felt her knees wobble at the sight. 

Wow, he was so pretty. It wasn’t fair.

“I’d like that,” he said, before shifting to a more serious tone. “But I always pay my debts to my friends. So, when do you work next, and I’ll pay.” 

“Uh,” she croaked as she stepped out from around the counter. Su’er met her at the opening. Standing side by side, Caiwei cleared her throat. “Saturday morning.” 

“Sounds good. I’ll be there.” 

“Okay.”

The bell tinkled as she opened the front door of the shop. Su’er followed close behind, cradling the bouquet like it was an infant. While adorable, he was crushing the pack of mums on the one side. Lifting the flowers out of his hold, she futzed with them before handing them back to him, correcting the hold to make sure none of the petals were being crushed. She gave a satisfied nod, before Su’er’s soft chuckle made her face heat up.

“Do I need to leave the two of you alone?” he joked.

Caiwei groaned. “I’d rather you didn’t.” 

“Leave you alone?” Su’er sounded hopeful. His eyes roamed all over her face, making her flush deeper. She really hoped it wasn’t visible, she was just tan enough she could get away with it, but only sometimes. 

Caiwei stepped in line with him and bumped her shoulder into his arm. “Yeah. It’d make me sad if you left me alone. I think you’re pretty swell.” 

Su’er knocked her back with his arm. “I think you are pretty swell as well.” 

“Thanks.”

“Anytime.”

They stood side by side, half bumping into each other as they swayed ever so slightly. Su’er dropped one hand from the bouquet and it grazed the side of her hand. She imagined slipping her fingers between his, the warm hands swinging between them as they walked down the street. Su’er stopped the walk, to pull at the joined hands, pulling Caiwei in closer. He leaned down to snatch a quick kiss and—

She vigorously shook the fantasy from her mind. It took everything in her to not spontaneously combust as her rebellious brain slammed her crush into the back of her head. He was right next to her. She couldn’t be thinking like that, and it wouldn’t be appropriate. The man was mourning and still on the edge of crisis. It wasn’t time to be off mentally crafting her dream date with him. She needed her crush to chill out for one day. Ideally, this one, right here and now.

“Not anytime?” Su’er cocked his head to the side, bafflement clear on his face.

“Oh, no. Sorry, I was, uh–” Caiwei floundered. She wasn’t going to explain . “I just was thinking about… something else.” 

Su’er shrugged it off, taking her subpar explanation at face value. Thank every star in the sky. The crisis was averted. 

“You can say no,” Su’er started, enunciating clearly like he was thinking hard on each word he said. “Would you be willing to come with?”

“To your mom’s grave?”

“Yeah, It, um, it wouldn’t be too much of a funeral with just one person. And I’d–” He cut himself off, the hand that had been tempting Caiwei shifting to rub at the back of his neck. He continued, but in a whisper. “I’d rather not be alone.” 

“Of course,” she said with a smile and a nod.

“Thank you.” Su’er’s shoulders relaxed forward, the flowers bobbing a bit in his hold. Raw gratitude colored his face. Caiwei felt butterflies cascade through her chest. Instead of letting her crush go on a mental journey again, she shoved all the feelings down.

“Is it far?”

“No, it’s actually close enough to walk.” 

“Oh, so is she buried at the Ci’an Temple Cemetery?” 

“Yeah she is.” 

They both started walking towards the cemetery. Caiwei slowed after a few paces.

“Do you want me to buy some incense? I know a shop on the way.” 

“But, I don’t have my wallet.”

“You can pay me back, it's fine. It’s not like a pack of incense will break the bank. I need more anyway.” 

“I’d appreciate it.” Su’er scrubbed at his face with one hand. “I really should’ve planned this whole thing out better. I thought about it this afternoon and ran straight over. I didn’t even take time to change or aperentally grab my wallet. I am doing this a bit on the fly and it shows.” 

“That’s fine, I’m happy to help.” Caiwei started walking. Out of the corner of her eye she raked her eyes over his garish outfit with a wry smile. “So, this outfit isn’t the product of your sister’s hard work then?”

Su’er huffed a small laugh and pulled the oversized shirt away from his chest. “A’wu bought me this shirt as a joke, but if she saw me out in public like this she’d laugh before whisking me away to make me presentable.” 

“I’m not one to judge. I sometimes end up with some wild outfits on laundry day.”

“What if I told you I did laundry yesterday?” Su’er bit back a smile. 

“I wouldn’t believe you, but if that is true I would appreciate the… unique and eye-catching outfit.” 

“That’s just a polite way of saying it’s ugly.”

“Hey, you said it, not me.” Caiwei grinned. “But I won’t deny if you dressed like this all the time, I would miss all your nice floral prints.” 

Su’er stumbled, catching himself before he totally fell over. “You… noticed?”

Caiwei tilted her head to the side. “Was it on purpose?” 

Embarrassment rushed over Su’er’s face before he snapped his head to the side towards the empty street. Caiwei felt something deep in her gut tumble around, slamming into her diaphragm making it hard to breathe. 

“I’ll make sure to, uh, wear more flowers,” Su’er mumbled out. “And it was on purpose. I thought it was funny.” 

“Well, I thought it was great. Flower prints for the flower shop.” 

“Yeah.” Su’er’s voice trailed off as they kept walking. 

Caiwei pursed her lips as she pointed ahead. “The little shop is just around the corner there.” 

Su’er nodded and followed her lead. His eyes fixated on the flowers in his hands, he looked so sad and lost. Caiwei wished there was a way for her to snap her fingers or wave her hands and make it hurt less for him. But there wasn’t anything she could really do but be there for him.

A little jingle welcomed them into the small boutique. It was a familiar little shop to Caiwei. It was a hodgepodge of little knick knacks and touristy baubles on mismatching shelves. She rounded the corner past the wire shelf filled with bowls of rocks and a few vases with folding cloth fans. Behind her the strings of brass bells that hung from the ceiling jangled. Su’er must have brushed into them. She didn’t look back as she was on a mission and smiled as her nose wrinkled with the overpowering scent of incense. 

She never loved how to show off the various styles of incense holders the shop just constantly burned incense, but it did make it very clear what the wood shelf was all about. The haze hung in the air and visibly swirled as she came to a stop in front of it. She ignored the smoldering incense that cascaded down little ceramic statues like waterfalls, or rose from sticks being held by an assortment of geometric shapes and squatted down to the crammed rows and rows of boxes. Her fingers absentmindedly grazed the jasmine box before she turned to look up at Su’er. 

“Do you have a preference?” 

Su’er seemed to wake a bit, his dazed expression focusing on her. As he shook his head. “No, I don’t mind.” 

“Cool,” She grabbed a box of the jasmine ones. “Just wanted to make sure.” 

She made her way through the maze of tables and shelves to the front. She smiled at the old woman who had to easily be in her eighties. She knew she was the grandmother to the younger woman who now ran the shop, but most of the time the owner had to step out around the end of Caiwei’s shift to get her kids from the bus. This must be one of those times, which was fine, just a bit embarrassing as the old woman’s English was almost as bad as Caiwei’s Chinese. The woman just gave a polite bow as Caiwei silently handed her the incense to ring up. It was a bit awkward, but not the worst. They both knew that trying for pleasantries would just lead to more confusion, so the silence was better. 

As Caiwei handed her card over to the woman, she paused and looked between the two of them. A flash of something glinted in her eyes as she asked a question to Su’er in what felt like rapid fire Mandrin. Before Caiwei could begin to mentally translate, Su’er jumped in.

His family needed to chill, as his speaking was just as rapid fire as the woman’s and Caiwei scrambled mentally to keep up, but was falling insanely behind. It was a brief conversation, only with her picking up a few words here and there including ‘Mom’, ‘Incense’ and ‘Friend’. The woman smirked a bit and said a phrase Caiwei recognized from somewhere, but couldn’t for the life of her remember what it meant. It sort of sounded like some line of poetry that Zane might recite. But he did that with a ton of lines of poems and there was no way for Caiwei to remember them all. She was however incredibly curious as to what it was when Su’er’s ears flushed pink as he quickly stumbled over a polite goodbye. The woman, now finished with the transaction, offered the little bag and Caiwei’s card back to her. 

She smiled wide and in thickly accented English the woman said, “Good boy. Kiss goodnight.” 

Caiwei sputtered. There had to be a translation error, or something. She just bowed and stumbled through a quick thank you and goodbye in Chinese before she was herded out of the shop by an embarrassed Su’er. Caiwei struggled to look at him now, imagining how nice it would be to actually kiss him goodnight. How she’d have to pop ever so slightly onto her toes, how Su’ers strong arms would wrap around her arched back to help lift her up as he ducked down. How soft his lips would be against hers. Her face heated up as her heart pounded and she hoped that the flush wasn’t visible. 

“Here you go.” She chuckled nervously as she shoved the little bag into Su’er’s chest. “What a wild mistake. Her English isn’t great, but that’s a new one.” 

“Yeah,” Su’er rubbed the back of his neck. “It was a bit, uh, weird.” 

Caiwei shrugged it off. “It’s fine, I once accidentally asked a waiter if I could kiss him instead of asking if I could ask him a question. Which was incredibly awkward, and was really the last straw in me ever trying to use what tiny bit of Chinese I know.”

“Ah, yeah, that’s a fairly common mix up.” 

“Yeah, the tones mess me up every once and a while even growing up around it. Maybe one day I'll get it, but it hasn't happened yet, so who knows.” Caiwei sighed, ignoring the pang of regret. “I don’t know what in English she was going for, though.”

“I have no idea.” Su’er’s voice was a little airy as he gestured in the direction of the cemetery. “Should we…” 

“Yeah,” Caiwei nodded as she headed off towards the cemetery again. She wanted to know more about what they talked about, but she could swallow her curiosity. It was probably just a simple conversation anyway. 

The walk to the cemetery was quiet. It was a beautiful day, and even the somber mood between the two of them couldn’t cut too deeply into it. The sun hit all the different trees along the road, scattering pinpricks of light that shifted along the paved sidewalk. The light breeze felt nice, blowing the heat from the day away. Bees and butterflies floated between the dandelions that sprouted between the cracks in the sidewalk and the manicured flower boxes hung on the rails of the outdoor seating of restaurants. The ebb and flow of other conversations washed over the two of them as they passed people sitting down for dinner, couples going on an early evening walk or individuals talking on the phone. Somehow the silence between them as others talked around them made it feel more intimate. The world around them kept up the hustle and bustle as always, but only Caiwei and Su’er knew what they were doing. It was a secret that only they shared while everyone else was blissfully unaware. It made Caiwei feel special to be included, and she hoped Su’er felt similarly. 

The urge to hold his hand came back with a vengeance as his hand brushed hers briefly. She was still beating it back with a mental broom as they finally reached the gated arch to the Ci’an Temple cemetery. It was beautifully crafted in a traditional Chinese style. If she knew more about history, she might be able to say which dynasty, but it mainly just reminded her of the sets from the historical Chinese dramas that Rourou and Zane would watch from time to time. The ornate woodwork was painted with bright reds, yellows, and some greens. 

She walked through it only to turn to see that Su’er had stopped right outside. He looked devastated as he gazed up at the archway. His shoulders angled down and his eyes filled to the brim with tears. The bouquet and incense forgotten in his despair were now on the ground on either side of him. Caiwei slowly made her way back to him and picked them up. She offered the flowers to him. 

“Su’er?” Caiwei watched as he slowly turned to look at her. His eyes were distant, likely stuck in the past. She softened her voice even more. “You coming?”

A croaking noise came out of his mouth instead of words. He blinked to himself and frowned. Caiwei had to hold herself back from wiping stray tears off his cheeks, but he quickly brushed them to the side. It seemed to mentally bring him back online as he grabbed the now slightly bruised flowers in his hand and cleared his throat. 

“Yeah, I just realized that I don’t even know where to go.” 

“Do you know if it was a single plot, or a family shrine?” 

“Family shrine.” 

“That’s easier then,” Caiwei pointed to the left just up the hill. “They have all the family plots together just this way. It's near the front probably because it gets the most traffic.”

“You seem to know a lot about this cemetery.” He frowned, but started walking in the direction she pointed too. 

“Yeah, my brother’s mom is buried here, along with one of my grandfathers. That family has a shrine and my brother asked me to take care of it and keep it clean while he is away in law school.” 

“That’s kind of you.”

“It’s close to my work and I don’t do a great job keeping it clean, but I try to stop by at least a few times a month. I technically planted flowers by it which I think is against the rules, but I got ones that don’t require much maintenance so the groundskeepers haven’t pulled them up yet.”

“I am sure your family appreciates it.” 

She really doubted they cared. Her brother sure never seemed to, even though he asked her to do it. “It’s really not that big of a deal.” 

“If you say so.” Su’er looked a bit puzzled, but gave her a soft smile. 

Caiwei pushed the tangle of emotions that surrounded her family. It was messy, as all families seemed to be, and was also not the reason they were visiting today. She tried not to fixate on the dusty granite with clumps of various flowers growing around it in the distance as they got to about the center where the various paths met up. 

“I don’t know if there is any actual method of where different plots are, so we might need to just walk around until we spot it.” 

“That’s fine. All I know is that A’wu told me it’s pretty and it’s next to a cherry tree.”

“Wait, actually, I might know which one that is then.” Caiwei slid her arm around the crook of his elbow. He was a bit spacey and she didn’t want to leave him behind on accident again. She also hated the way his knuckles were white and shook around the bundle of stems, and hoped the gentle touch would help calm him.

They walked up the path that led to the very top of the hill. It was a tad embarrassing that she knew where all the shrines with plants were, not because she was into plants, but because she figured that she could take trimmings at some point. She figured no one was likely to notice if a small branch was cut off a tree, or a small section missing from a bundle of flowers. But now knowing she’d been planning on taking from Su’er’s family made the plans feel a bit dirty. 

She might just stick to public parks now. 

The plots grew larger, and the simple hand high fences from the lower ones transitioned into more ornate walls, while some even had full rock carved walls built to be the height of a seat. Various small trees, flower bushes, and planter boxes peppered the areas between the polished shrines. Just as they were rounding the corner to where Caiwei knew the cherry tree was, Su’er gasped and slid his arm out of her grasp. He made a beeline for the plot, Caiwei followed behind at a more sedate pace. 

His sister had been right, it was beautiful. The Chinese cherry tree’s twisted branches held bright leaves. Under it was an ornate carved wood bench. Caiwei smiled as she imagined how stunning it would be to sit under the tree in spring when the pink blossoms would be in full bloom. There was a tiny metal filigree fence that surrounded the plot, except for a section the width of a doorway that was right next to the paved path. Su’er ignored the opening and just stepped over the four inch fence. He fell to his knees in front of the polished black granite onto the perfectly manicured grass. Chinese characters etched in gold shone in the early evening sun. Su’er took a shuddering breath as he gently placed the flowers on the ledge and picked up a slightly weathered frame from the various offerings that had been left around it. 

“Hey Mom. I brought you flowers, sorry–” His voice broke, “sorry it took so long. I’ve never been your most punctual child, no matter how hard you tried to teach that to me.” 

“I’m sorry,” Su’er wrapped his arms around the frame and hugged it tightly to his chest. He fell forward over his knees, his head resting on the edge of the granite. “Mom, I’m so sorry. I should’ve– It’s my— I’m— Mom. ”

An ugly shaking sob tore through him. And Caiwei couldn’t hold herself back anymore. She stepped through the little entryway in the fence and squatted next to him. She rubbed his back as the wobbly half sentences were replaced by wordless pained sounds and violent crying. He was coming undone and every sob, groan, whine, and whimper was like a knife to Caiwei’s chest. Silently, she sat back on her heels, rubbing slow circles across his curved spine.

She wanted to say something, to soothe the hurt, but he needed to let this out. Five years was a long time to hold on to this. It was long enough for the bottled emotions to ferment and pressurize, like a bottle of shaken champagne ready for the cork to pop and explode out a mess of fizzy bubbles. 

After what felt like an eternity, but couldn’t have been longer than ten minutes, his crying slowed to a stop. With a long sniff he sat up. His face was a blotchy wet mess. His dark eyes were bloodshot and silent drops rolled down his face each time he blinked. Devastation pulled at his face, weighing it down.

Caiwei wanted to help shoulder the burden on his shoulders, even if only for the briefest of moments. She gave him a sad smile and opened her arms, offering a hug. 

Without any hesitation Su’er twisted to press his face into her shoulder. She wrapped her arms around his slightly shaking frame and just started to sway slightly to the sides. She felt her own eyes start to water as she felt her shirt soak through. After a much shorter time than Caiwei had hoped for, Su’er backed away from the hug. 

His eyes were inflamed and puffy from crying, but the expression had softened. Caiwei’s hug had whittled the tiniest fraction of a gram off his shoulders, but she was happy she could at least do that much. 

Caiwei however hated how Su’er refused to meet her eyes. How embarrassment creeped into his posture, curling into himself like a dead bug. She was having none of that. 

Pointing to the photo that was still resting on Su’er’s knees, she asked, “Can I see her?”

Su’er bit his lip before giving her a slow nod. Slowly, like she was trying to befriend an alley cat, Caiwei picked up the photo frame. The woman in the frame was pretty. Her black hair was tied up in an ornate bun, the metal clip holding it sparkled with jewels. A beautiful wrap around blouse in what was a modern take on a more traditional Chinese style was striking against the simple neutral background. However, the thing that drew Caiwei’s eyes the most was the achingly familiar laugh lines at the corner of her eyes and the wide happy smile that brightened her face. Caiwei traced the smile with a gentle finger over the glass.

“You have her smile. It’s pretty.”

“Thanks,” he crushed the butt of his palms into his eyes. “She smiled a lot.” 

“I can tell, she looks really happy.” Caiwei handed Su’er back the frame and he got caught up looking at it for a few beats before speaking softly. 

“This photo was taken at her forty-fifth birthday. She was upset she didn’t have any more up-to-date photos of me and my sister and since we were both out of the house and having nice professional photos would give her something to look at when she missed us. We agreed, but A’wu demanded headshots of her too. So it ended up being a whole day thing.” Su’er gave a water laugh before swallowing. “It’s… the last good photos we took as a family before she got sick.” 

“I’m sure she’s happy that her present allowed for all of you to have something nice to remember her by.” 

“It’s nice, we honestly don’t have a ton of photos after this day of her at all. She started chemo soon after and it took her hair. She swore off photos until she was ‘pretty again’.” Su’er chuckled. “A’wu even donated her hair to make mom a wig, but she refused to wear it something about refusing to support her baby having a horrible pixie cut just for her vanity. But she told me that she didn’t wear it mainly ‘cause it itched.” 

“She sounds delightful.” 

“She was,” He sniffed before sighing. “I miss her.” 

Caiwei didn’t say anything to that, instead she just pressed a hand over his shoulder blade. She felt his muscles shift under her hand as he curled into himself once again. 

“I miss her, but I shouldn’t.”

“That’s not–” Su’er cut her off.

“It’s my fault she died. I shouldn’t be still grieving five years later.” He spat out. “I am a monster who killed his own mom.” 

Caiwei’s brows furrowed. “She… didn’t die from cancer?”

“No.”

“Did you stab her?”

“What?” Su’er’s head snapped up from the photo, horrified. “Why would I stab my mom?”

“I don’t know? You just said it was your fault.”

“So you thought I stabbed her?”

“No really, but unless you stabbed or shot her directly I don’t think you killed her. I doubt it is in anyway your fault.”

“She’d still be here if it wasn’t for me!” Su’er threw his hands up in the air before combing back his hair with his hands. “You don't understand!”

“Why not try to explain it to me then? I want to understand, but I am missing a lot of the story.”

Su’er let himself fall back onto the well manicured grass. He put his arm over his eyes and took a deep breath. After a few moments, he peeked out from under his arm. His dark eyes shimmered in the early evening sun.

“You’ll think less of me.”

She shook her head. “I won’t”

“You don’t even know what I did.” 

“I won’t think less of you Su’er.” 

“Because I can’t sink lower than rock bottom?” Su’er half joked. The self depreciation squeezed at Caiwei’s heart.

“Not even a little. I can tell you’re a good person and loved your mom dearly. You have yet to do anything that would imply otherwise.” 

“I ignored you for a month,” Su’er mumbled out.

“Life happens.” She shrugged. “And it’s not like it was a spoken arrangement for you to come weekly. You just didn’t buy flowers for a month, which to be clear, isn’t a crime.” 

“I… I was a disaster five years ago. Like a full on mess.”

“Dosen’t mean you were a bad person. And you’ve seemed to clean up well in the last five years.” 

“I am having a breakdown in this t-shirt.” He pulled at the airbrushed eyesore. “I think it’s clear I am still a mess.” 

“I accused you of cheating on your sister the second time we talked. I am really not going to judge.” 

“You’re not going to drop this are you?” Su’er had a perplexed expression, like Caiwei was a complex math equation that wasn’t computing correctly. 

“Not until you realize you aren’t a monster .” 

“Okay, I’m not a monster,” Su’er huffed, covering his eyes again. “I’m… just a bad son.” 

“Let me be the judge of that.” Her voice was soft as she leaned forward. “Explain it to me.” 

The silence stretched on just long enough for Caiwei to worry that she’d massively overstepped, when Su’er sat up and shifted to face her.

“It’s… kind of a long story.” 

Caiwei settled into her spot on the grass. Holding back the childish urge to rip the blades of grass between her fingers, she met Su’er’s eyes with a soft smile.

“I don’t have anywhere I’d rather be.”

Chapter Text

Su woke up and immediately regretted it. It should be illegal to have hangovers while still also feeling a little buzzed. However not only was it not illegal, but it was happening more and more and Su was really over it. Being buzzed was fine, but the throbbing headache and twisting nausea in his gut almost made it not worth it. Even through his eyelids the light was too bright and his back ached from falling asleep on the couch again. It all almost made him try to promise himself that he wouldn’t drink that evening and actually try to sleep in his bed.

He huffed to himself, like that would ever happen. He’d never touch that bed again. 

Swallowing against the rolling nausea, the memories of that night flashed behind his eyelids. The satisfied exhaustion from a long day at work, excited to share his solution to an issue that had been haunting the whole team for weeks. The smell of surprise celebratory takeout wafted up from the plastic bag hanging from his hand. The thumping, shifting sounds from deep in the apartment give him pause as he hung his keys on the hook by the door, followed by a pained moan. The shock of fear that coursed through Su as horrible visions of murderous break-ins filled his mind’s eye. The hot burning of his leg as the pho splattered down his pants and spread across the floor as he dropped the food and ran. The loud crash as their bedroom door rattled on his hinges. The horror washing over him as he realized that what he’d taken as pain was actually pleasure. 

The blue highlights from the full moon extenuated the arched naked back of his fiance. The light glimmered across her loose inky black hair, a hand gripping at it, looping it between tight fingers. The hills and valleys of the blankets shifted like sand dunes as the two jumped off the bed. The crunch of the beaded bralette that she’d bought to celebrate their engagement crushed under his foot as Su backed himself against the wall. He slid down catching his hands on his knees, hugging his legs into his chest. 

Su stared at the broken beads and loose threads falling from the bundle of red lace. The angry screams of his fiance washed over him. He looked past her to the bed that they had picked out together. To the photo on the wall of the two of them smiling, showing off her shiny engagement ring. To his cousin as he slinked off, wrapped in a sheet to cover him, but did nothing to hide the smell. 

Sharp nails clawed at Su’s arms, trying to force him to stand, to pay attention, to do anything, but he couldn’t.

Instead he had walked out, stepping over the large puddle of cooling pho. He didn’t grab his keys as he walked out into the night. There were no plans or thoughts going through his mind. Just the dull ache in his chest and the vague hope that the darkness of the night would swallow him whole. 

It hadn’t. 

All that happened was Su getting fabulously drunk and passing out on some park bench. He’d half woken up to the cops hauling him off, and was able to get them to call A’wu. She’d been gracious and sent Xiao Qi to discreetly pick him up from the drunk tank while she dealt with his fiance. He’d crashed on her couch for a day or two before heading home. 

That all had been… some amount of time ago. At least a month? Su wasn’t… really sure as the days have all been blurring together. He preferred it that way, and hoped time would keep just rushing by like a rushing river. 

Patting his hand around the floor he searched for one of the bottles from last night. Normally the one closest to his hand would at least have a few mouthfuls left at the bottom. It worked well as a quick ‘hair of the dog’ to keep the fuzzy feeling in place blocking the sharp pain from coming back. It also dulled the horrible pounding in his head for long enough for him to get up and stumble to his liquor shelf for a proper drink. The burning bitter liquid was the medicine he used to keep the memories at bay, each painful thought locked up and sealed in each of the growing collection of empty bottles.

Su snorted to himself. He was literally bottling up his emotions. If only he could be like his unfeeling father who had been born with a thick layer of glass around his heart. Su didn’t have those walls around his heart, and he couldn’t just ignore the indiscretion and marry her anyways. He couldn’t follow through on the half arranged relationship no matter what his father wanted. He couldn’t go through with it just to save face. Instead, he would flush his whole life down the drain and become an even bigger disappointment. 

A tumbling ball of sick satisfaction, numb sadness, and dull pain filled his chest. He… needed it all to stop. 

Rolling closer to the edge of the couch, smooshing his face into the cushion, he stretched his arm out. He needed to find one of those bottles. His fingers found something, but it wasn’t the cool glass or puddle of liquid he’d been expecting. He patted it and furrowed his brows. He wasn’t sure what exactly it was, so he wrapped his fingers around the thinner part that stretched up from the floor and opened his eyes. 

Oh no. It was an ankle. 

Slowly raking his eyes up from the floor,  he took in the view of the thin ankle covered in nylons. The leg he’d grabbed was perfectly in line with the vertical ruffle that stuck out a good half inch off the black pencil skirt. A well tailored turquoise blouse tucked into the narrow waist. A thin dainty gold chain rested along her collar bone. A polished turquoise bead hung from it, swirling gold wire looped around it to look like macrame. The small metal tassel that draped off the bead laid perfectly in the center of the V of the collar of her shirt. Smaller beads wrapped in swirling gold tangled off her ears. 

A’wu looked pissed, but he’d ignore that for now, more interested in the half done makeup look. Only one of her eyes had eyeliner, and no mascara was to be found. Her foundation was cakey and un-blended, dark lines clear across her cheeks stood out, along with the almost shimmering line just above it. Her lips were pale and wobbled where the foundation had covered the edges. It looked a little alien, and strange for his usually put together sister. He wondered what had happened. 

Her hair, which she always took pride in, was also a glaring warning sign that something was wrong. Small, chipped barrettes held the edges of her hair back from her face. It was pulled back in a bun, but bubbles and loops of hair made it look messy and rushed. The bun at the back of her head had the ends of her hair falling out and limply hanging down the back of her neck. The stick that was angled a bit strangely was an ornately carved black wood. Silver accents circled the stick and wove in and out of the carved knot. It was pretty, but did not jive with the rest of her outfit.

Su frowned, half gesturing to the bun stick. “Mixing metals?” 

She never did that. Something was clearly wrong.

A’wu crossed her arms, her fingers shaking at how hard they were digging into her arms. “That’s the first thing you are going to say to me? Really? Mr. I-haven’t-changed-my-clothes-for-a-week.” Her eyes were sharp as they cut across his body laid out on the couch. “I might not be put together, but at least I don’t smell.”

Propping himself up on his elbows, Su rolled his eyes. “I don’t smell.” 

“When was the last time you showered then, my darling Su’er?” 

“Only mom gets to call me that.” He grumbled, shifting to smell himself. Taking a quick sniff, he grimaced. Oh, wow he did really smell. 

“Yeah, my thoughts exactly, Su’er. And I do get to call you that again, since at some point in this past month and a half I was promoted from baby sister to mom. So I get to call you whatever I want and you don’t get to say a thing!”

“Shh,” Su held his pounding head. She wasn’t yelling, but it was a close thing. “Keep it down, I’ve got a headache.” 

“Aww, poor thing you got a little headache?” A’wu squatted down next to the couch. Mock sympathy dripped from her whispered words, before starting again at a much louder volume.  “Good. Maybe you will learn something from this experience.”

“I’m learning I have the most annoying little sister.”

“Yeah, and I thought I was going to show up here with a dead brother.” 

“What?” The gears in his mind grinding, frozen at her words.

“You called me last night, or this morning, whatever 3AM is.” 

“I… don’t remember that.”

“I’m not surprised. You were slurring your words, talking about how everything hurt too much and… and you wanted it all to stop. You were so worked up that I couldn’t understand you much at that point. Between the sobs and the slurring it was impossible to know, but I tried to calm you down as I rushed out to the car.” 

“Oh.”

“Yeah, oh,” she snapped up to stand. Frustrated pacing accented by her hands opening and closing into fists. “As I was starting the car I heard a loud thud and you stopped responding.”

Su opened his mouth to apologize, only for A’wu to swing an arm out with a razor sharp look. 

“Nope. I’m talking. You did very loudly throw up, so I knew you hadn’t immediately died. But I used my spare key and found you in a puddle of your own vomit. Got some on your phone, which is now clean along with your whole apartment. You’re welcome, by the way.” A’wu paused along one of her turns and scratched at her scalp. “You know any other day I probably wouldn’t have noticed your call right? It would have just been on vibrate and I don’t always wake up to that. Thank God I had some stupid early teleconference call with Beijing this morning, or you’ve choked to death by now.” 

“I’m sorry, it won’t—”

“Happen again?” She cut him off. “Yeah it won’t, I cleared out all your selves.”

“You what?” Su fully sat up as anger flickered in his chest. 

“Awful lot of booze, and not enough food for one guy, Su.” 

“What did you do with it?”

“The trash stuff I dumped down the drain. The nicer bottles I took.” 

“Why would you do that!? I needed those, A’wu! Give them back!” 

“Spoken like a true alcoholic. Congrats, you’ve graduated from an unhealthy love of booze like the rest of the family to having a full blown problem.”

“I’m not— It’s not like—” Su sputtered before giving into his anger at his sister. “You take that back!”

“I get hiding this from Dad. You both… have your whole thing. I even understand not wanting to tell Mom since she’s sick. But don’t you dare lie to me. We don’t do that. Don’t start now.” 

“I’m not lying! I’m perfectly fine!” Su tried to stand up and his overly loose legs failed to raise and he fell back into the couch with a groan. He closed his eyes to keep the nausea and headache at bay.

Opening his eyes, Su watched his sister. Her face was blank, but there was a hidden something behind the blank look. She took a few steps towards him. They were measured, planned, and methodical. Su felt a bit like prey about to be pounced on. 

“You are in no way fine.” Her words were harsh, but quiet. “People who are fine don’t drink themselves into a stupor. People who are fine eat regular meals, change their clothes, and keep up with basic hygiene. People who are fine don’t call their siblings in the middle of the night sounding like they are going to kill themselves. Now these are all things you’ve done recently, so are you going to keep saying you are fine?” 

Su bit back the knee jerk yes, but it sat like acid on the back of his tongue. A’wu was right, they didn’t lie to each other, and if he was honest with himself, he wasn’t remotely fine. 

“I’m… working on it.” His eye darted to the corner of the room, away from her.

“Sure, Gege.” The Chinese pet name twisted something in his chest, his eyes prickled with tears. “And I’m six two.” 

Su sniffed, trying to crack a smile. “Maybe in some of your platform heels?”

“I’m not joking with you right now. We can’t just push this under the rug.”

“We could hide it in a closet like you did that cat?” He tried to crack another joke.

“Su. Seriously, stop.” A’wu sighed before she crossed to collapse back into the couch next to him. “You understand I’m just worried, right? This… this is…”

“I’m handling it.” 

“No you clearly aren’t.”

“I am.” Su’er nudged her with his shoulder. 

A’wu rolled her eyes and full on shoved him. He fell back onto the couch and his head throbbed as it hit the arm rest. “You aren’t.” 

“Real mature, A’wu.” Su huffed as he sat back up.

“You started it. I’m the baby. I’m supposed to be immature, not you.” 

“I’m plenty mature.” 

“Trying to drink yourself to an early grave is pretty immature.” 

“I’m not—” Su cut himself off and scrubbed at his face. “You know what? Sure. Fine I’m trying to drink myself to death and am an alcoholic and immature because you’re always right. Daddy’s little angel couldn’t possibly be wrong.” His words dripped with disdain. 

“Don’t you dare dump your issues with dad onto me.” A’wu’s voice wobbled ever so slightly, and Su saw a rip of tears threaten to spill over. 

“You’re the one who is out here accusing me of something I’m clearly not.”

“Clearly not??” A’wu made a disgruntled disbelieving sound. “Su, I found more empty bottles in your apartment than the company makes during the Christmas party. You had eight bottles of Vodka next to an empty bag of rice and a moldy loaf of bread. Your fridge was full of rotting vegetables and beer. I found a few packs of instant ramen and some frozen dinners, so you were eating something at least.”

“I got a lot of take out.” 

“Oh, I was very aware from the three bags of trash that were sitting against the wall by the also overflowing trash can. I took it all out to the dumpster and opened some of your windows. Fresh air will do you good, and now the only thing that smells in this apartment is you.” A’wu grabbed his arm and started to stand, half dragging him up. 

“Hey.” He slipped his arm out of her grip. 

“It is an easy fix. I threw the clothes on your floor in the laundry, so you can shower and have nice fresh clothes. By the time you are done, Xiao Qi will be here to watch you so I can go try to distract Dad and Mom. He’s grabbing some groceries so you’ll have—”

Rage exploded from Su as he jumped up. “I’m an adult! I can take care of myself! I don’t need some babysitter!”

“Then prove it!” A’wu screamed as she stepped up to be chest to chest with him. She bit her lip and took a few steps back. The air between them was tense, but after a few deep breaths she looked him in the eyes and her voice was calm. 

“This can’t happen again, Su. I lied to Dad today, and I can only wake up with a cold so many times before he catches on. What Huan Mi did to you was horrible.” Su couldn’t help but flinch at his ex’s name. A’wu sighed. “I’m sorry, I really am. I can sympathize. That’s why I’ve been bailing you out, but I can’t just keep enabling this.”

“You’re not enabling me.” 

“Call it what you want, but I’m not going to just let you do this anymore. I’m not just going to pick you up from the cops or peel you off the floor of whatever bar you landed in. I haven’t said anything about it because I know I wouldn’t’ve been any better if I’d seen Xiao Qi with someone else. But I also thought you were keeping it to bars, at night. But from your shelves, I got worried and called your manager.” 

“You didn’t.” 

“I did, and she said you took all of your vacation and sick days and have been MIA for the past three days.” 

“You shouldn’t have done that.”

“She was glad I called, by the way. I explained a little and she said that she’d take the marks off your employee records and you could get some grievance leave. She said she’d do some late nights to make up for your absence, but only if you promise to get your life together.” 

“Sandra didn’t need to know.” 

“Yeah, Su, she does. She didn’t mind, she just was worried when you just stopped communicating. You know that we all care about you, right? None of us want you to do this alone, we care… I care.” A’wu grabbed his hands and squeezed them with a wobbly smile. “I care about you, Gege. A lot, actually.”

“I care about you too, Meimei.” Su’s mouth was dry and his voice cracked over the affectionate name. 

A’wu wrapped him in a hug, Su felt his breath hitch as he relaxed into the hold. It felt really nice. It’d been too long since he’d just been held. 

A’wu sighed before whispering, “I really hope you do, as you are about to really hate me.” 

“What?” Su stepped out of the hug, confused. 

Behind his back A’wu was holding his phone, on the screen was his contacts list. She tapped one. The photo of Mom smiling filled his screen before going dark, starting to ring. 

Su felt a rush of fear flood through him. He tripped over his own feet to try to grab the phone out of his sister’s hand. Years of practice on her side, A’wu ducked and weaved to keep it out of his grasp. It was long enough for the phone to ring twice. The pace between the rings filled with hissed death threats and grunts.

Mom picked up right as he got his phone in his hand. 

“Su’er? You there?” 

“Su’s got something to tell you!” The yelled words tumbled out fast as he hung up the phone.

He growled down at his sister, who was contorted in a headlock, an innocent look on her face. “Why’d you call mom?”

“You need to talk to someone about this.” 

His phone rang again, he didn’t even look at it. He knew it was Mom calling again. He answered the phone, dropping A’wu from the headlock. She caught herself from totally hitting the ground with one knee and her hands. Su snapped a finger to his lips and shot A’wu a scowl. She rolled her eyes, standing she retucked her shirt into her skirt before putting a finger to her own lips. Once he was sure she’d behave, he put the phone to his ear.

“Hey Mom, What’s up?” Su tried to push A’wu away by the forehead, but she ducked and sidled up right next to him, cocking her ear towards the phone call. He just sighed, too tired to fight her off. 

“You called me. I’m guessing it has something to do with my appointment?” 

“What?” Su hissed out to A’wu, holding his phone to his chest. “What is she talking about? Her appointment is in two days.” 

She shook her head, and whispered, “Try more like in half an hour.” 

“A’wu,” He hissed out, stress filling him. “The hospital is a twenty minute drive from Mom’s house and it’s fifteen to get to her.”

“Yeah, so you better come up with some reason for you to not be able to take her. Maybe like you being super hung over from your spiraling mental breakdown.” 

Su craned his neck to look over at the large clock he had on his wall. It was a beautiful glass and brass clock that he had fallen in love with as a teen. He found himself watching it tick and trying to understand all the small gears and how they interacted with each other as his sister and mom had gone off clothes shopping together. After a few weeks the clock had disappeared from the shop and he thought that had been that. But he’d opened his birthday present that year and inside had been that clock, along with a few other miniature models of hit and miss motors and the like. He’d never said that he desperately wanted the clock, but his mom noticed and had gifted it to him. 

Even with his deep love for the clock, a part of Su wanted to punch the stupid thing for ticking closer and closer to what felt like the pinnacle of his failure. He’d taken his mom to all of her appointments. They happened every week, and he’d yet to miss a single one. Even in the haze of… everything, he’d made sure to be fine enough to drive her there and back. Last night he’d been so sure that he had a few more days to wallow before scraping himself off the floor of his apartment, plastering on a smile, and taking her.

… Maybe he really did have a problem. This all had really gotten out of control. 

Su felt a bit numb as he raised the phone to his cheek. The glass was warm and his mom’s voice was soft. 

“My darling Su’er, are you okay?” 

“Oh yeah, mom, I’m fine.” The knee-jerk response tumbled out of his mouth. A’wu elbowed him in the side and mouthed ‘tell her’. “I just… needed to tell you I’m going to be a little late?” 

“Su’er.” Mom’s voice was harsh, but not unkind. It made him flinch, feeling like a child about to be admonished. 

“Yeah?”

“You’d tell me if something was wrong, yes?”

“Of—Of course.” The lie sat heavy on his tongue, not helped by the incredibly disappointed look his sister was shooting him. 

“Because if there was something wrong, I’d want to know so I could help. Even if it was just so I could listen and offer comfort.”

“I know that, you’re… you’re a good listener.” Su knew his mom knew something was wrong, but the idea of admitting it sounded like a nightmare. 

“You also give good hugs!” A’wu added, half yelling to be heard. “Su definitely needs one of your hugs!” 

Pushing A’wu over Su grumbled, “I do not.” 

“Do too!” A’wu shoved him back. 

It hasn’t been a super hard push in any stretch of the imagination. It had been playful and bordered on gentle. But the buzz in the back of his mind dulled his reflexes and his foot tried to catch him but his heel caught on the edge of the carpet that was ever so slightly curled up. He saw A’wu’s face switch from a fond smile to surprised horror as he fell backwards, hard. He felt his elbow smack into the ground with a crack. A tingling pain radiated out. He tried to move his arm and he stopped moving with a hiss. 

Oh wow, that hurt. 

“Su? I’m so sorry! Are you okay?” A’wu hovered over him, her hands awkwardly stretched out wanting to help, but not sure how. 

 “I… don’t think so.” Carefully, using his other arm he sat up. “I can’t move my arm.”

“Did it break? Did I break your arm?” Her voice pitched up. 

“I tripped. Not your fault.” 

“But I pushed you.” Her voice was small. 

“Sounds like I just,” he gasped as he tried to wiggle his fingers again, “… I just get to push you later.”

“That sounds fair.” A’wu wiped at the corner of her eyes before giving him a small smile. 

“SU’ER?! A’WU?!” The soft tinny sound of their mom came over the phone that sat off to the side.

A’wu reached out over his legs to grab the phone and quickly set it to speaker phone and started to do something on the phone. 

“Hey mom. Su just tripped and fell over and isn’t going to make it late or not, I’m going to be taking him to the hospital,” Su opened his mouth to argue only for A’wu to hold a finger a few centimeters over the quickly swelling skin of his arm. “If you fight me on this I’m going to poke you right there.” 

He snapped his mouth shut with a click. 

“That’s what I thought.” She focused back on whatever she was doing on the phone. “I’m ordering you an Uber, mom. Sorry about this whole thing.” 

“Is he okay?” Mom asked, concerned.

“I’m fine,” Su reassured with a fake smile, but the pained wobble to the words undercut his attempts. 

“You don’t have to be fine, baby,” she said, switching into Chinese. “Things are allowed to hurt. You don’t have to smile all the time.”

Tears welling in his eyes, he sniffed a few times as any resolve he had crumbled at the kind words. “It hurts, Mom. It all hurts a lot.” Su curled around his injured arm with a sob. He wished it was just his arm, but that pain was more bearable than the shredded scraps of what used to be his heart. 

“Give your brother a hug, A’wu,” his mom commanded. Su felt the soft arms gently wrap around his shoulders, he leaned into the touch. Mom continued, her words soft. “Darling Su’er, I’ve known something was wrong for a while. You think you are good at hiding it, but it’s clear as day to anyone who looks. Talk to me. I love you and want to help.” 

“Love you too.” Su mumbled out through his tears. He switched back to English. “Sorry I missed your appointment.”

“I care more about you than some appointment.” 

“I’m not okay. I haven’t been since… Since…” He still couldn’t say it. 

“Since she broke your heart.” 

“I really loved her, you know?” Su grimaced as pain zinged through his arm and a dull ache filled his chest. “I know Dad set us up half for business reasons, but I really really liked her.”

“You always looked happy with her.” His mom’s voice was soft. A’wu moved a hand to pet his head. 

“I was.” Su choked on a sob. “I don’t know why she did that. Did she not like me? Did I do something wrong?” 

“No.” A’wu and Mom said in unison. Mom continued, “She made a horrible choice, and that had nothing to do with you.” 

“Anyone would be blessed to have you for a partner,” A’wu tacked on.

“But, why?” Su felt anger bubble up in him. “Why would she do that!?”

“I don’t know.” Mom sighed. “I wish I had the answers for you.” 

“I don’t want to think about it anymore.” Su felt the ever present pull towards his now empty liquor cabinet. He didn’t want to feel any of this anymore. “I want it to just go away.” 

“Unfortunately, that’s not really an option.” 

“I…” Su took a deep breath. “I’ve been trying to, uh, make it go away.” 

“What do you mean?” 

“Uh, I’ve, um…” Shame filled him as he stammered. He wished he just could never explain it, but knew that wouldn’t really be an option. Not if he wanted help long term. “I’ve, I’ve been drinking.” 

“Oh, Su’er.”

“A lot. It’s been a lot. It didn’t seem that bad at first, it was just a crutch, helped me sleep and whatnot, but now it’s… It’s…” 

“It’s not great mom.” A’wu spoke over his shoulder. “It crossed into concerning on day one and now is full on worrisome.” 

“Okay.” Mom’s voice held a strange quality to it. “Alright, Thank you for telling me. We can help you, Su’er. I love you lots and just want what’s best for you.” 

“Love you too.”

“It… It looks like my ride is here. I need to go, but once I’m done, we are going to make some plans to help, alright?” 

“Okay.” Su felt a flicker of hope in his chest. It was warm like a small candle flame, and made him smile. 

“We also need to get going, broken arms and all that.” A’wu’s voice was tight as she tried to joke. “But maybe if you get done before us you can swing over to the ER and say hi.” 

“Keep me updated, okay?”

“Of course. Love you.” A’wu smiled fondly towards the phone. 

“Love you. Bye.” 

The call ended. A’wu crushed Su into another hug, this time less gentle and sent shooting pain up and down his arm. 

“I’m so proud of you.” 

“Maybe we’re all making a big deal over nothing.” Su said through gritted teeth. “You’ll see, I’ll be fine in no time.” 

“I hope so. And if it takes a few tries, that’s okay, too.” A’wu shifted to sit back on her feet, and shot him a warm smile. “But now we need to get to the hospital.” 

“Please, because my arm is killing me.” Su smiled, feeling lighter and more free than he had in a very long time.