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Chapter Text

She sat there, at the Eye of the World, staring at the broken heartstone in her hand. The events that just unfolded replayed over and over in her mind.

The Dark One, Rand said he did it. Is it done? Something isnt right, she thought.

*flashback*
“Didn’t you say that whoever comes between the Dark One and The Dragon will die?”, Rand asked.

Moiraine stared back at him.

“Stay”, he insists.

Moiraine slightly shook her head as a soft smile came at the thought of the young sheepherder trying to protect her.

The sound of footsteps brought her back to reality.

“You’re alive”, Lans whisper is horse. He was at her side in an instant, “What happened?”

*flashback* She couldn’t move. Frozen in fear. The Father of Lies spoke in riddles of prophecy. Another Dragon. Born of royalty. Brought into the world by ice and fire. The Dragon who takes its first breath as another breathes its last. Another dragon to break chains or strengthen them.

Moiraine was trying to make sense of it all, “I’m trying to remember, I can’t fit the pieces together… it’s like a puzzle or a dream. Every time I start to grab onto something, it begins to slip away.”

*flashback* Rand touched the Eye of the World and passed out, she’s trying to wake him when Ishamael appears* she shivers at the memory of the Dark One.

“Where’s Rand?”, Lan finally asks.

Shaking her head, “he’s gone.”

*flashback*
“I felt it. The madness. It’s true isn’t it? What they say about men who can channel. That eventually they go so mad they kill everyone they love”, Rand asked slowly.

“It is”, she replied with regret.

“I have a favor to ask you, just one. Tell them I died here. Tell them I didn’t make it back”, Rand plead.

Moiraine shook her head, “I cannot lie.”

“You’ll work out a way, you owe me that much”, he said firmly.

She continued staring at him then finally asked, “Where will you go?”

Rand had no intention of telling her, “goodbye, Moiraine”.

She watched as he disappeared into the shadows and someone grabs her from behind.

She couldn’t remember anything after that.

“We fought him. The Dark One. Rand in the dream world and I… right here”, Moiraine recited, pulling the broken cuendillar from her lap.

“I thought that heartstone couldn’t be scratched. That nothing, not even the One Power can break it”.

“So did I”, she whispered.

Lan shook his head, “What does it mean?”

“That this wasn’t the last battle. I fear it was a trap, from which we set him free”.

Lan couldn’t hide his goosebumps, being in this place and hearing Moiraine mention the Dark One.

He took her face in his hands, “Unmask the bond, let me back in”.

Moiraines eyes welled up with tears, “I can’t…the Dark One… he… I can’t…”

Lan knew what she meant. She can’t, yet. She needed to process whatever happened by herself first. He knew her and her reluctance to sharing emotions. He knew she’d keep the bond masked for as long as she could. He needed to be let back in but if he pushed, she’d push back harder.

He stood up and reached out his hand, “Come on, let’s get out of here”.

Moiraine looked up at him, “We can’t go back to Fal Dara, not yet”.

She put her hand in his and let him pull her up. Before he could ask why they couldn’t return, he saw her eyes roll up and he caught her as she fainted.

Oh Moiraine, what happened to you?

He had to get her out of here. Get her someplace safe, warm. She said she couldn’t go back to Fal Dara but where else could they go? The Way Gate isn’t an option with her in this condition and the next closest city is a months ride, at least.

He was carrying her through the Blight for hours when something caught his eye. It was one of the Seven Towers. He sighed aloud, either return to his ruined kingdom or disobey his Aei Sedi by taking her to Fal Dara.

He shuddered at the thought of his once powerful nation, fallen to the Shadow. His chest feeling heavier and heavier as he crept deeper into Malkier. He couldn’t handle seeing his home covered in Blight like this. He looks down at Moiraine in his arms, I failed her just as I failed my people.

Lan finds the room that belonged to his parents. A place that should have been a sanctuary, a space to hold the memory of his kingdom. Instead, it is filled with memories of his dead past. He tried but he couldn’t enter. The room itself was filled with old tapestries, a large stone bed, some things from his childhood, all worn, and rotting away.

He turns down the hall and walks to his room. It isn’t luxurious like the last room, it’s rather empty but functional, much like his personality, focused on duty rather than comfort.

He lays her down gently on the bed. Her already pale lips showing signs of blue from the cold. Lan lays down next to her and wraps his cloak around her. He’s focused on the rhythm of her breathing, occasionally trying to tap into the bond even though it’s no use.

He senses something’s off. What’s that smell? Fire? He can feel eyes on him. Lan jumped out of bed and drew his sword all in one motion. He was now face to face with Ishamael, staring into those eyes of embers.

“The last surviving member of the royal family of Malkier, now nothing more than a tool. It’s depressing, really. You will die for her, as you will die for all Aes Sedai. A soldier doomed to fight without a true purpose. There is no future for you, only endless service and death”.

Lan couldn’t move under Ishamaels gaze, frozen holding his blade in Vipers Strike.

“I do not fear death!”, Lan shouted. “It is my fate”.

“What’s the point?” Ishamael hissed. “You can’t save her, she’s mine”.

“She will never be yours!”, he breathed through his teeth.

He was filled with rage, ‘you can’t save her, she’s mine’ repeated over and over in his mind that he missed what The Father of Lies said next.

“So she hasn’t told you yet? Interesting, perhaps you two aren’t as close as I believed you to be…Well, you would’ve found out eventually. She’s mine… but don’t worry, I’ll take care of her, as long as she delivers what belongs to me”.

Lan couldn’t take anymore, he broke out of Ishamaels hold and quickly fell into Cat Crosses the Courtyard, slashing Ba'alzamon through the chest. Lan watched as his body fell to the ground, only to revel Moiraine in his cloak. He grabbed her, cradling her in his arms and started screaming her name.

From above he heard her calling to him.

“Lan, wake up, wake up!”

He wakes in a cold sweat, gasping for air, his body shaking. She sat up besides him, wiping the sweat from his brow.

They are still in the Blight, same spot he caught sight of The Seven Towers.

Moiraine places a hand on his chest, trying to steady him, “It was only a dream, Lan. Only a dream”.

Her voice was calm and reassuring though beneath the surface she was terrified. The way he screamed her name, she knows it was more than a dream. She felt sick to her stomach.

“We should keep moving… Fal Dara is fine, I just don’t want the others knowing I’m there.

Lan, still in shock, nods in agreement. He glances back at The Seven Towers as they head towards Fal Dara and silently vows that one day he will be back. He won’t leave his kingdom in the shadows. One day Malkier will be free from the Blight, he’ll make sure of it.

Chapter Text

Lan and Moiraine spoke at the same time, to the inn keeper,
“One room” “Two rooms”

Lan scoffed, “Next to each other”.

“This way,”said the innkeeper, clearly sensing the tension, he leads them to their rooms and quickly ducks away.

Moiraine opens her door and Lan steps in her path. She looks at him with a raised eyebrow and he responds with a mirrored expression. Shes exhausted but knows he’s thinking two things: what happened at the Eye and unmasking the bond. She sighs and turns to slip past him, entering her room, Lan follows. She needs to distract him, change the subject from what she doesn’t want to discuss.

“Actually, I have been thinking, it may be better if we keep the bond masked”.

Lan lets his feelings show on his face. “You would do that to me? You would try to keep me from feeling you?”

She feels guilty but doesn’t show it. She knows how emotionally attached he is to her, their bond. She shakes her head to keep the tears from welling up, she can’t think of that right now.

“My only desire is to protect you, Lan. With the bond masked, you will not feel me... you will not feel my emotions. It would keep you from acting erratically, I cannot bear the thought of you throwing yourself into danger because of me”.

“I would rather die than live without feeling you”

“Lan…”, she breathed.

“And you wouldn’t be protecting me… you’d be weakening me. Physically, emotionally… I need to feel you, I need to sense if you are in danger, or if you are hurt... You distancing yourself from me is not something I can accept”.

Lan isn’t even trying to hide his distress. She can see how vulnerable and helpless he feels. And while she does feel the strong urge to protect him, she also wants to keep him from finding out what happened to her. She can’t even admit it to herself yet. Once she removes the mask he’ll know something’s wrong and won’t stop until he finds out what but she’s not ready to acknowledge it.

This is all so tiring… and honestly, she needs the bond, too. It sustains her as much as it does him. She can’t help but feel safe, waking everyday and feeling his presence before she even opens her eyes. She needs that unspoken understanding that he gives through their bond.

Thank the light he can’t sense me now, she thought as she fought back her tears, I’m being such an emotional fool.

“I will unmask it, Lan. It is as much a part of me as it is of you. I just…need more time”.

He doesn’t say anything but she knows he understands, it pains him, but he understands.

Hurry up and get over it, Moiraine, she thinks to herself, he deserves so much better than this.

He kisses her gently on the forehead and closes her door on his way out. She collapses on the bed in exhaustion and finally allows herself to feel her emotions. Her mind still trying to process everything that happened.

She felt the leftover fear, Ishamael grabbing her, remembers being frozen in terror while he whispered prophecy of another dragon in her ear. Silent streams of tears pour out her eyes while she tries to breathe through the painful memories.

Lan needed to get out of his Blight covered clothing and dresses down to his small clothes. His body feels depleted but he can’t stand still. Pacing back and forth he stops to stare at the wall he shares with Moiraine, trying to check if she’s okay, it’s no use.

He hears movement on her side, her door opening and before she can even knock, he’s swinging open his door to meet her. Moiraine is standing there shivering, looking like she’s about to vomit.

“What’s the matter, Moiraine? You look sick”.

Moiraine stood there, hugging herself, “I don’t know what’s wrong”.

He gently grabs her waist and pulls her into his room, they sit together at the foot of his bed.

Moiraine is shivering as she confesses, “I was getting ready for bed and I started to feel strange… dizzy almost and I keep getting chills”.

He puts his hand to her forehead and feels her cold sweat.

“Do you want me to call for a healer?

“No I just want to get warm”.

Lan got up and walked to the top of his bed, turning down the covers. Moiraine climbed up and slid in. He pulled the comforter up to her chin, tucked her in then laid down beside her, rubbing her on top of the blankets to warm her up.

They laid there in silence, Lan gently rubbing her side until her shivering stopped then he wrapped his arms around her and held her, not tightly but just right.

Moiraine couldn’t keep her mind from racing.

“May I ask you something?”

“Anything”.

“Your dream in the Blight… would you tell me about it?”

Moiraine knows about his traumatic past, waking from nightmares is nothing new for him. She understands that Lan’s emotional scars are as real as his physical ones, but she needs to know if it was just another one of his ghosts or if it was one of the Forsaken.

“I took you to Malkier… it still seems so real”.

He held her tighter and nestled his head into her hair. After several minutes he took a deep breath and continued, “Ba'alzamon appeared… he said you were his…”

She felt her body go numb. She couldn’t find the strength to turn around and face him like she wanted to, to comfort him but she tried, all she could do was tilt her head back against his chest.

“He is the Father of Lies”, she whispered.

“Even so, he believes it to be true. You have been marked and I cannot protect you if I cannot feel you”.

His face was hard as stone but a tear fell from his eye. “I can still feel it. Him ripping you away, leaving me in the Blight, alone”.

Moiraine didn’t need the bond to know how broken Lan was feeling. She knew him, better than she knew herself. She couldn’t take being the source of his pain.

She took a deep breath and pulled herself up, pulling him up with her so they were facing each other.

“You are not alone. Not with me”.

She closed her eyes and tilted her head down as if in prayer. Tingling took off in their bodies then a sudden surge of emotions. Exhaustion and pain, so much pain. The overwhelming feeling of responsibility and the need to protect but with that also came the sensation of being wrapped in a warm embrace. The slight satisfaction of being understood without having to say a word, in fact no words were said for the rest of the night. They sat there in each other’s arms, taking in all the emotions until their fatigue won.

Lan pulled her down under the covers and they fell asleep with her head on his chest and got the best nights sleep that they’d had in months.

Chapter Text

20 years on the road has gotten her more than comfortable in the saddle. The way it’s shaped itself around her after all her time on horseback. How her stirrups are meant for her boots alone and the small weary spots on the lead from the same hand placement month after month. But for some reason something feels off today. It’s her arms, or… something. They feel slightly more apart, not noticeable to an outsider but when your arms and lead rest in the same spot for years and now they sit slightly different, you notice. She squeezed her arms to their usual place and instantly regretted it. She looked down and realized her breasts were swollen.

Siuans breasts get sore once a month, I must be having sympathy pains, she thought to herself.

Lan came trotting up, Moiraine sensed his frustration through the bond.

“Looks like another few nights sleeping under the stars”, he announced.

She heard the sting in his voice and felt guilty though she tried to mask it, she knows feeling her guilt will only worsen his mood.

He’s frustrated out of concern for her. They have grown accustomed to sleeping under stars and trees, only having the blankets packed on their horses to use as bedrolls but the past couple nights involved rain storms and it took all Moiraines energy just to keep them dry and warm. By the time the rain stopped she needed a whole days rest to recover the energy the One Power drained from her.

Light, let the rain be over, she thought.

She felt regret from Lan through the bond. He discovered her guilt and hates that she blames herself for his grumpiness. His mood quickly changed to excitement as he remembered something from his scouting.

“Come, see what I found”.

She could feel his excitement. The longer they rode the more excited he became, like waking up as a child on Bel Tine. She knew he could feel her giddy curiosity.

The Aes Sedai couldn’t take the suspense and broke into a trot to get over the next hill, then she heard it. The gentle sounds of water flowing over smooth stones, the subtle splash of a fish darting upstream. She squealed with joy as it came into sight. Her horse not even at a complete stop before she slid off its back, already weaving weaves to untie her shoes and slip off her socks so she can dip her toes in.

Lan knows his Aes Sedai has a strong connection to water, being in its presence has always helped her feel calm, grounded. He knows that anytime she sees water, she feels the urge to touch it, dip her whole body in if given the chance whether it's a river, lake, or ocean.

He’s still smiling as he leads the horses to a patch of clovers and starts to untack them. Lan left his sword leaning against a rock nearby and sensed mischief from Moiraine. He glances her way, she’s thinking about reaching out to grab his sword… “Don’t even think about it”.

“One day, Lan Mandragoran, I’ll catch you off guard”, she smiled back.

“You should never try to separate a man from his sword, least you end up in a pond”, he smirked and she splashed water his way.

They sat back on the bank watching the water glisten, listening to the gentle currents of the waters flow. Suddenly, a flash of silver and color disrupted the calm surface as a rainbow trout leaps from the water, its scales catching the light before it splashes back into the current.

An idea sparked Moiraines side of the bond followed with a sense of amusement, “Care to make things interesting?”

Moiraine was sitting on the edge of the stream, a rod in her hands, one of the plain fishing poles they had bought in a village before they reached the Two Rivers, the line trailing into the water. She had done more than cast the line, though. A thread of the One Power was woven into it, holding the hook where she wanted it. The fish would come, she just had to wait.

Lan loves seeing his Aes Sedai so... ordinary. Moiraine is reluctant to share but over the years he’s been able to piece together bits of her upbringing, neither of them really got to experience a happy or normal childhood, each of them being thrust into responsibilities at a very young age. He assumes that’s why she seems to enjoy the mundane aspects of life. Here she was sitting there in the same way any village women would have, just... fishing and being so content with that.

“I bet the Damodreds would have a lot to say if they knew their Sun Queen was catching fish for dinner”.

Moiraine answered without taking her eyes off the water, “I’m sure mother would die in horror”.

The biggest trout yet popped right into her hands, knocking the pole out of them. Without skipping a beat she slung the fish back to Lan, smacking him in the face. He was left standing there in shock and she fell back into the water, hysterically laughing. Lan felt her happy hysteria through the bond, he can’t remember the last time she’s experienced this much joy. She stopped splashing around, still feeling giddy but bringing her eyes to meet his. “Don’t start getting sentimental on me, Gaidin. You’ll still have dinner to cook, you know the rules”.

“The rules also state no use of the One Power if both parties cannot access it”, he reminded.

“I caught that fish with my own two hands, the wheel weaves as the wheel wills, now get roasting!”

He’s missed this, the friendly banter between them. Things have been so stressful lately, seems like the past 20 years have been one ordeal after another. Searching for the Dragon Reborn, finding him, losing him. Rand, I still haven’t heard how he died, Lan thought.

Moiraine sensed his mood shift, she couldn’t tell exactly what he was thinking but his underlying curiosity left her feeling uneasy. “I need to dry off”.

She got up out of the water and walked to get a change of clothes out of her saddle pack. Whatever Lan was thinking about, she knew it came with questions for her and with his somber mood, she asked the Light to make him keep his questions to himself.

The smell of roasting fish made Moiraine's stomach turn. She had always enjoyed the smell of it, she was not a big fan of meat but roasted fish she always enjoyed. Now she had to hold her breath and turn away. She didn’t have to be looking at Lan to know his eyes were on her. She could feel him checking on her through the bond. Before she could stay she’s fine, a breeze pushed the scent back her way and next thing she knew she was bending over, sicking up. He was quickly at her side, helping her into a seated position and letting her lean against the tree away from the campfire.

“Thank you”, she whispered as she wiped her mouth with the edge of her skirt.

He continued to watch in silence, handing her water and checking her forehead for a fever.

“I’m okay”, Moiraine said with a deep breath, “I haven’t smelled roasting fish in so long I don’t think my body knows what to think of it…”

She barely finished her sentence before feeling like she was going to vomit again.

“Looks like your body knows exactly what to think of it”.

He caught the tone in his voice and rushed the bond with comfort and rest. He’s concerned for Moiraine and knows that she would feel guilty for causing him worry so he tries to smother it with soft understanding.

Lan kissed her above her brow before getting up and walking to the saddles. He brought back a fresh waterskin, her favorite blanket which just happens to be his blanket and something wrapped in paper.

She unwrapped it and discovered half of a honey cake. She looked at him and he could feel her curiosity peaking. She ate her last honey cake before she and Rand entered the blight.

“I know they are your favorite, I tried to save my last one for you but they are my weakness too…”

The overwhelming sense of thankfulness came through her end of the bond, filling him with warmth and appreciation. She was so grateful for him and thanked the Light he could sense it cause she knows she would never be able to put into words just how much he means to her.

Chapter Text

They have finally reached the nation of Arafel and after 12 weeks on horseback they are both looking forward to a good nights rest in a real bed.
Arafel is a nation in the Westlands and is considered one of the Borderlands. It borders the Blight to the north and Shienar to the east. It’s also the home of one of the few people Moiraine considers a friend, Alanna Mosvani.

Lan is protective of Moiraine. It’s wrecking him knowing something’s wrong but it hurts even more knowing she won’t share it with him. He doesn’t want to make her feel uncomfortable, discussing something that might be difficult for her to talk about but he hates being on the outside.

She senses his emotions toward the situation and responds with putting up walls, it’s been going on for days now.

“Something is wrong Moiraine. You’re obviously ill, either we find a sister to do some delving so we know exactly what’s going on or we’re going to the Healer here, you pick”, Lan said sternly.

Moiraine continued to ignore him, weaving her fingers through Aldiebs mane.

“The very least we can get something for the nausea”, he added, barely hiding the defeat in his voice.

Right, not MY nausea, she thought. He feels it too.

She masked her guilt with frustration. “Fine… the Healer… but just to put an end to all this”.

She hated going to a Healer, Wisdom or anyone else with the power to prescribe dangerous herbs. The Damodred bloodline has been challenged many times, poisoning being more common than not in her family. She’s grown skeptical of anyone in that type of role.

They arrive at the doors of the local Healer. Moiraine is still in a mood and stuck in her head. The Healer opens the door and Lan starts to tell her what’s going on. Moiraine, too annoyed to pay attention to the conversation, follows the Healer and Lan into the house. She feels lightheaded. She sees a chair and tries walking over to it, she feels as if she’s floating on air, as light as paper.

Lan senses her disorientation and helps her into the chair. She grabs onto the seat to keep from floating away. Moiraine is sweating and can feel their eyes on her but she can’t make out what they’re saying. Everything is muffled and foggy, like watching the room from far away. Lan was right next to her but she couldn’t move, she so desperately needed to feel h…

Understanding the bond, he reached out, gently resting his hand on hers, trying to soften her grip on the chair. His face came into view as he squat down in front of her. With his face hard as stone he asked, “Can you do this?”, he was all concern and worry beneath the surface but his presence was warming and welcoming. The fog surrounding her started to fade away at the sound of his voice.

It took her a minute to respond but she shook her head, ‘yes’. He was right, after all, something was wrong with her. She hasn’t felt like she was floating away since she was back home in Cairhien, before leaving for the White Tower and she never wants to feel like this again.

“Spit here”, the Healer instructed.

“Gladly”, Moiraine huffed as she spat on the rice paper, wondering what it was for.

Lan sensed her confusion through the bond, “How does this work exactly?”

The Healer kept her eyes on the try in front of her, “Spit doesn’t usually contain proteins but with pregnancy, the proteins in the spit should turn the paper a pinkish…”

Moiraine jumped up so quick she thought she was going to faint. Lan placed his open hand on the small of her back to steady her. She was in shock, “who made this decision?”, she demanded.

Lan floated comfort and understanding through the bond, “after listing all your symptoms, this seemed the most likely outcome…”

“I did not agree to this and I will have no part in it!”. She stormed out of the house, not even caring if the door slammed behind her.

She had to hold on to front gate of the yard to catch herself. She let out a deep breath trying to fix her composer.

Lan closed his eyes and focused on the Void. Letting all emotion leave his mind, he knows Moiraine will be waiting for his reaction, but she doesn’t have to find out this way. He opens his eyes, looks at the paper and sees the pink. He takes a long breath, not letting himself register the response. He’ll deal with his own feelings later, right now Moiraine needed him.

The Healer took the paper, rolled it up and placed a tie around it, concealing the answer inside then handed it back to Lan. He gave a slight nod, signaling his gratitude, and quickly met up with Moiraine outside.

Her breath was shallow, her mind racing with worse-case scenarios. He could tell she was preparing for the blow of the revel but it never came. She turned to look at him, so much hurt in her eyes, and fear.

Lan held the paper up, “you can find out when you’re ready” and tucked it into his cloak pocket. She fell into his arms and let herself crumble, she felt trapped in an endless cycle of emotional responses and didn’t know how to stop it. He picked her up and carried her to the horses, places her on top of Mandarb and pulls himself up behind her.

The sun is starting to set, which is perfect. He hopes he can get Moiraine into camp without anyone noticing her like this.

Lans sitting at the Warders fire when he senses Moiraine picking up the results and has to catch his breath at her reaction.

Breathe, Moiraine, he yells silently.

After a few long moments, she takes a breath. He feels something switch off in her. She suddenly feels so distant. He can sense her still in their tent but now she feels detached, numb. He could’ve cried if he weren’t in the company of Alannas Warders, Ihvon and Maksim.

When he approached the tent he felt her discomfort and confusion. Her body felt foreign, like it belonged to someone else.

The flap of the tent closing behind him startled her and he immediately regretted not coming in softer.

She was sitting up at the end of the bed. Staring straight ahead, hugging her legs to her chest while silent streams of tears poured out from her eyes. His heart broke for her, the pain choked him. He knew no words could fix this but he stayed by her side, reminding her through the bond that she has someone who cares.

At some point she uncurled herself and climbed into his lap.

“Shall we talk about it?”, Lan asked.

All she could do was shake her head ‘no’ while trying to steady her breath, “I cannot even think about it…”

They must have fallen asleep cause next thing he knows, the sun is up and Alanna is standing next to the side of their bed, loudly chewing an apple.

Lan sits up in surprise. I must of been more tired than I thought if I didn’t wake at the sound of her entering the tent, Lan thought to himself. He pulls the covers to Moiraines shoulders. Thank the Light she didn’t wake up his Aes Sedai, Lan sighed to himself in relief. An audience is the last thing Moiraine wants or needs right now.

“Alanna Sedai, I don’t not think your sister would appreciate you barging in on her tent like this. If there’s something you need from Moiraine Sedai you’ll have to return when she’s awake”.

Alanna rolled her eyes as she took another chomp of her apple, “I just miss my best friend, is all”.

Lans heart warmed at the thought of Moiraine having a friend that loves and misses her. That she has people who care for her.

On her way out of the tent Alanna turned to add, “She missed dinner last night and breakfast this morning, don’t let your Aes Sedai miss lunch, Lan. Tell her there’s honey cakes if you have to, I’ll make them myself”. With that said, she left.

She’s right, he thought. I’ve been more lenient with Moiraine lately, trying to keep the peace… but skipping meals is not something I’m going to let her fall back into, he promised to himself.

Chapter Text

Lan noticed the second Moiraine started to stir. After yesterday, he wasn’t sure what kind of mood she’d wake up in.

He’s still trying to wrap his head around the fact that she’s pregnant. Who? When? He had many questions. Last night, he tried to get her to talk but she couldn’t even think about it. All he felt from her was pain, he expected to feel the same coming from her today but she’s waking up and he can’t detect any negative feelings through the bond. She just feels… rested. No sense of morning sickness, the first time in a week.

Lan has been focusing on the Void ever since he read the positive test at the Healers. He’s afraid that if he doesn’t keep the Void at the front of his mind, he’ll unravel. He doesn’t know the half of what’s going on and it’s weighing heavily on him.

Moiraines fully awake now and opening her eyes, he sits up to greet her. He’s doing everything he can to remain calm, to make sure she doesn’t detect any judgment or curiosity through the bond. The last thing he needs is to say or feel the wrong thing and cause her to shut down. A conversation needs to be had, but first, lunch.

“Good morning”, she says while sitting up and stretching.

“Good afternoon”, he corrected her. “You woke at the perfect time, Alanna is requesting our presence at lunch”.

He knew she was hungry but by her silence he could tell she was trying to find a way around the Three Oaths to say she wasn’t.

She didn’t have dinner last night and they both missed breakfast this morning. It’s not like Lan to sleep in but yesterday was emotionally depleting, they needed the extra rest. Now, they both needed to eat.

“She mentioned there would be honey cakes”, Lan added.

As if on cue, her stomach growled.

“It’s settled then”, Lan said gently.

Alanna and her Warders were already around the table, laughing and chatting with the rest of her Green Ajah companions.

“Sister!”, Alanna squealed. She couldn’t hide her excitement as she caught sight of Moiraine but she quickly composed herself.

“You kept me waiting long enough. Maksim had to talk me out of sending a search party, but I’m happy to see you, regardless. Come on now, sit. Ihvón, bring the food!”

Moiraine gives her a warm smile and goes to sit next to Lan but Alanna interjects, “I saved a spot for you here, dear Sister. How long have you been on the road now? You both must be starving, or at least I hope you are. I made enough to feed an army.”

Lan laughed to himself as he thought how Moiraine never has to worry about wording around the Oaths with Alanna, she never lets Moiraine get a word in otherwise.

He looked over at his Aes Sedai, she looked calm, almost peaceful. But that couldn’t be right. She had mastered the trick of controlling her outward appearance long before she got to the White Tower, but this wasn’t just appearances. She looked calm but felt calm, also. All he got through the bond was peace. How can that be so?, he thought. She should be a mess, a pile of pain like last night.

Feeling her concern for him brought him back to the moment. He looked over at her and her eyes were already on him, with a worried line creasing between her brows. He couldn’t believe she was the one concerned for him when it should be the other way around.

Suddenly a burst of joy came flooding through the bond and the strong realization that Moiraine was overwhelmingly starving.

Lan couldn’t help but let out a small laugh when he realized what brought that on, she caught scent of a tray of pastries Ihvón was bringing out. He sets it on the table in front of the two Aes Sedai.

Moiraine could hardly wait for Alanna to invite her to fill her plate first, though it was expected being the guest. She popped one honey cake in her mouth while grabbing three more with her other hand before the entire table erupted with laughter and she realized all eyes were on her. For the first time, she didn’t care that all the attention was on her, all she could think about were the warmed treats on her plate.

Alanna talked her ear off the rest of the meal, leaving little room for her having to add to the conversation. Until Alanna mentioned the new addition to the library and Lan felt a switch in Moiraines facade, still appearing peaceful on the surface but was focused and scheming on the inside. He watched as the two women got up from the table. Moiraine felt his questioning through the bond and walked over to him, “I’m going to spend some time with my Sister, enjoy your company here”. She rubbed his back as she walked away, sending him love and comfort through the bond. He couldn’t help but wonder what she was up to and finally decided to let it go for now, she was in such good spirits and he didn’t want to ruin that.

“Honestly, I don’t spend too much time in here… reading, at least. Books have never been my thing. Verin sends the books she no longer has room for and Adeleas sends a letter with the juiciest gossip from her eyes & ears, that is of much more interest to me”.

She looks around at the dusty books and continues, “You can take whatever you like, I have no need for anything in here, except that lounge chair”, she said with a wink, “that’s my and Ihvóns favorite”.

If Moiraine was embarrassed, she didn’t show it. She was too focused on the books in front of her. She spent the rest of the day looking through each one. Creating a little circle of piled books around where she was sitting on the floor. Alanna draped over her chair, going on and on about the shift of Tower politics, how the newest bunch of Warder apprentices are the cutest bunch, yet. She goes into great depth her thoughts on bonding multiple Warders and how her two don’t seem to be enough for her lately. Moiraine’s stomach growls aloud.

“Light! It’s almost supper. The boys haven’t even brought me my afternoon snack”.

She tunes into her bond, “seems they’re too busy swinging swords… they really enjoy having Lan here”.

“He enjoys it, also”, Moiraine replied with a small smile. “As am I, with you”. She reached out and squeezed Alannas hand.

“Oh, Sister”, Alanna responded as she wiped a tear from her eye. She has always been the most emotional of their group, more back in their novice days. But Moiraine rarely showed emotion that to receive such a warm welcome from her was almost too much for Alanna to handle. “Let me help you with your books. Light, do you think you have enough?”

Moiraine was laying on the bed reading with books spread all around when Lan walked in, sweaty from practicing sword forms. If she even noticed Lans arrival, she didn’t show it, she was too focused.

Lan has seen her like this many times though he hasn’t gotten use to it. She tends to be more unpredictable when she gets into these intense fixations. All he feels is her overwhelming obsession, but with what?

“What have you got there?”, he tried to put emphasis on loving curiosity. At the very least he hoped she didn’t take it as him questioning her.

“Books…”

Lan sent encouragement through the bond to continue.

“…from Alannas new library”.

“Anything in particular you’re looking for?” He knew it was the wrong question as the words left his mouth. He felt her defenses go up and her mood grow flippant.

She gave a sarcastic smile, “Is an Aes Sedai not allowed her secrets?”.

He couldn’t take anymore and finally snapped, “Don’t smile at me… You shut me out, try to drive me away. Don’t you dare smile at me as though everything is fine, as if you don’t know exactly what you are doing”. He took several deep breaths trying to regain his composure.

She closed the book with a loud thud, “wash up, they are expecting us for dinner and you stink of sweat and dirt”.

She gathered all her books and moved them to a trunk. She still had her back to him as she moved towards the door, “Tomorrow we move on, we need a good nights dinner and rest” then walked out of the tent.

She stayed glued to Alannas side the rest of the night. At one point he thought she was about to sick up as the tray of pork was passed her way. He checked on her through the bond which just added to her annoyance. He backed off, she clearly wasn’t in the mood for questions and concerns. Another night of no answers, he thought to himself.

Chapter Text

Moiraine woke to the smell of fire. Lan was still asleep next to her. She quietly slipped out of bed and into her robe, tying it around her as she walked to the opening of their tent. Before she could reach for the flap, a boy, appearing to be 6 or 7, ran through. He had the look of youthful innocence but the more she studied him, a flicker of something deeper grew.

“You must help me!” the boy cried, “don’t let him find me!”. He hid behind her, trying to wrap himself in the ends of her robe.

Before she could question him, Ba'alzamon entered. He was just as shocked to see Moiraine as she was to see him. She felt, once again, the intense, suffocating sense of terror that freezes you in place just by being under his gaze.

“Well, well, well… I didn’t expect to see you here, I thought I would find…”, the Forsaken started.

The boy couldn’t hide his trembling and the movement caught Ishamaels eye, he was next to him in a flash.

“And who do we have here?”, he announced. “This must be my boy! Look at how strong and handsome he is…”

Moiraine felt as if she was going to sick up.

Ba’alzamon went to put his hand on the boys shoulder, but Moiraine, out from under his gaze, broke through his sense of dread and grabbed the boy back.

“You cannot have him”. She backed the boy against her, placing her hand over his chest, as if to shield his soul from the Father of Lies.

He laughed aloud, “oh but my dear, he’s already mine! He might have your curls but the rest is all me. You being of the One Power helps of course, I did weigh my options before I chose you, you know. Your dear friend, Siuan, was another choice but between the two of you I knew she would have put up a bigger fight. You fell right into my trap…”

Complete memories came flooding back to her. Rand saying goodbye, Ba’alzamon appearing and grabbing her… she released the vomit she felt moving up her chest, trying to breath through it, not letting herself focus on what happened that day after Ishamael grabbed her.

“I think that’s enough for today, you weren’t even the one I was searching for… If you see Rand, let him know I’m looking for him. He released me at the Eye of the World and he thinks he can hide, he cannot…” and with that he vanished, leaving nothing but the smell of hot embers behind.

Moiraine was trying to catch her breath and wrap her head around everything that just happened when she was jolted awake.

“Moiraine… can you hear me…”, Lan had a damp, cool cloth wiping the sweat from her face. “Talk to me, Moiraine, and don’t tell me it was just a dream”. He didn’t even try to hide his fright.

“What happened?” she asked.

“We were sleeping, I woke when I felt your distress. I tried waking you but nothing worked”.

“It wasn’t just a dream then… I fear it was Tel'aran'rhiod… though I do not know much about the World of Dreams”.

“Tel’aran’rhiod?” Lan asked, full of curiosity and concern.

Moiraine took a slow, long breath and continued, “it’s a place where dreams and reality can intertwine, allowing some to shape and manipulate the environment through their thoughts. The rules of the physical world do not apply in the same way, making it a dangerous place, as one's actions in the dream world can have real life consequences. A realm where forces of the Dark can influence whomever they please”.

Lan was just about to ask who would be coming for her but he felt her subtle panic starting to set. He wrapped her in his arms. With his head pressed against hers, “I need you to get back into the habit of setting wards for your dreams before you sleep”.

Moiraine let out a deep breath, Lan felt her agreement float through the bond. Several quiet minutes passed as they both let their minds run, process the information just acquired. There was something else bothering Lan, she could feel it.

“What is it?” she asked aloud.

“You called out for Rand”, Lan said softly.

She felt her body go stiff. “There’s much I need to tell you, Gaidin, but not here. We have a long road ahead of us, let’s save this conversation till then”.

Finally.. answers, he thought. Not an actual answer, she didn’t give any information but an agreement and willingness to talk is more than he expected from her at this point.

“I’m not ready for you to leave, another night, at least”, Alanna pleaded.

Moiraine softly shook her head, “we must be on our way”. She gave Alanna a tight squeeze on the arm.

Alanna had to wipe a tear from her eye, “I hate goodbyes. Let me send you with something, gift giving is one of my love languages. And being the library’s best customer, it’s the least I could do”.

Moiraines first thought went to Alanna’s homemade sweets but she had another idea that would be much more effective in the coming months, even if it wouldn’t satisfy her now.

“Do you recall the weave you discovered when we were novices?” Moiraine asked quietly.

“The one that lets you have multiple clim…”

“No…”, she quickly interrupted, “not that one”. She gave a gentle smile and let her cheeks flush, knowing Alanna would get a kick out of it.

“The one you weaved into your dresses. Making you appear to be the same size even when you smuggled Jenny out of my room at night”.

“Like you even need it…”, Alanna laughed.

Moiraine raised an eyebrow.

“Oh, your serious? Well, your appetite has definitely increased since our days in the Tower… bring me a dress”.

Chapter Text

Moiraine and Lan rode side by side, their horses hooves in step with each other. The world felt quiet, as though it were holding its breath. Lan surely was. Moiraine said she would talk, he felt like a fool for letting himself think she would start the minute they got on the road. He knew she needed to be the one to start, he just needed to be patient, unfortunately his patience was starting to wear thin.

Moiraine, was not the type to show anxiety openly, but Lan knew her well enough to see the tension in her posture, the way her fingers clenched the reins just a little too tightly.

At least he knew she was thinking about it, bringing them closer than they were yesterday.

Lan could feel her pure joy as he handed her the last of the honey cakes Alanna sent with them. It warmed him to see and sense her enjoying food. Shes always enjoyed the sweet pastry but her enjoyment now was overwhelming. If only he could find something she would eat with actual nutrition.

“Another, please,” she reached her hand out towards him.

“Sorry, that was the last of them.”

A wave of sadness hit him through the bond, he looked over at Moiraine, was she… crying?

Embarrassment flooded the sadness, quickly followed by irritation. He sent understanding her way, he knew nothing about pregnancy but understands it can mess with a woman’s emotions. He sensed her growing frustration, as she tried to mask everything she was feeling.

The earth became softer on the other side of the hill, letting their horses trot turn more into a sway. The gentle movements were a comfort to Moiraine and Lan felt her surrender to it, breathing out all her pent up anxieties.

She was feeling better already. Lan expressed the slight hint at a smile and Moiraine caught herself smiling back. It felt good to be back on the road, just the two of them.

He was feeling daring now that she was in happier spirits. He went for a soft open.

“I’m a big fan of Verins wine but not so much her sister. Please don’t leave me alone in the company of Adeleas.” He sent the most pathetic plea through the bond.

Moiraine let out a breathy laugh, “but she is so very fond of you.”

She let her thoughts drift to Verin, to the bittersweet smell of the vineyard always on the Brown Aes Sedais shawl, how desperate Adeleas becomes at the sight of Lan.

She thought about Lan. And Rand. And Ishamael.

Which brought her back to the reason for visiting her two retired sisters.

The faintest smile crossed her face. Just the idea of Verin Sedai's collection of books filled her with an excitement that she rarely allowed herself to feel. She had spent years collecting knowledge, but Verin’s library was a thing of legend, rumored to hold secrets even the Aes Sedai of the White Tower could not dream of.

Lans goosebumps alerted Moiraine as he sensed danger. He was off his horse in an instant, sword drawn before the first screeching reached Moiraine’s ears.

“Stay close!” he hissed at her as a Myrddraal appeared from the shadows, its eyeless face locked onto hers with a hatred that seemed to bleed through the air. The fade’s presence was like a cold breath on the back of her neck, reaching down to her soul.

Suddenly all she could feel was Lans rage.

“Lan, no!” she yelled but it was too late. He was charging, sword flashing as he swung at the Myrddraal. The blades clanged together, over and over. It looked like Lan was dancing with Death itself.

The Myrddraal’s blade sliced through the air, barely missing Lan. He ducked but left seconds of opening, the fade’s sword cut deep into his shoulder. Moiraine felt it like a knife in her own chest.

She raised her arms and drew on the One Power with every fiber of her being. Minutes felt like hours. Weaving and unweaving, throwing everything at the Eyeless, boulders and full tree branches. It retreated into the shadows but Moiraine, exhausted from touching the source, knew it wasn’t gone for good, just watching, waiting.

She didn’t waste a second getting to Lan, having to steady herself when she reached him. Her vision was blurry and her head, dizzy.

“We have to hurry,” she panted. “It won’t stay hidden for long.” She placed her hands over his wound and closed her eyes.

“Moiraine…” he said weakly.

“Shhh…” as she shushed him she felt the threads of the One Power, barely creating a spark.

“Save your energy, just help me up”, he demanded.

It took all their strength but they were both on their feet, alert and ready. Moiraine felt the poison from the blade seeping into his shoulder, Lan felt her body screaming for rest.

The fade shimmered behind Lan, he barely had time to turn before he sensed Moiraine calling on the One Power with everything she had left. A desperate burst of fire flung towards the Myrddraal, ending with a sickly squeal. Lan had to catch Moiraine before she hit the ground.

“I’ve got you”, he said as he brushed her hair off of her face. “You did it, you got him”.

He felt her faint satisfaction through the bond before she passed out. As he carried her to her horse he was once again faced with the fact that he had no idea what was happening or why.

Why was one of the Eyeless after them? What did she want at Verins? What happened with Rand at the Eye of the World and how did her pregnancy come about?

He tried to place her on his horse but his shoulder throbbed from the poison, lifting her made him noticed how weak he felt.

Lan knew he needed healing. He also knew Moiraine wouldn’t be able to do anything until she’s had atleast a fulls day rest. He hoped he could stay awake long enough to see Moiraine wake.

He suddenly wished he had spoken better about Adeleas, thinking that he would kindly accept her healing for him and his Aes Sedai, before it was too late

Chapter Text

He was barely hanging on when he felt her starting to wake. She wasn’t as rested as he would have liked but she held some strength.

The minute she came to, she climbed onto his lap, cradling his face in her hands, checking on him through the bond.

He tried a smile, it might not have reached his face but Moiraine felt it.

“Thank the Light”, she said in one breath as she let her head collapse into his shoulder.

They both winced in pain.

“I’ve regained enough strength”, she said as she pulled herself back up, placing her hands over his wound, “let me heal you, this poison has been stewing for too long”.

Her hands trembled as they hovered over his wound, unable to channel more than the faintest threads of healing.

Moiraine had pushed herself too hard using the One Power and Lan feels it under his skin. They both know that her touching the Source while exhausted is dangerous.

Lan reached up, closed her two hands in his and whispered, “it’s alright, now that I know you’re okay, I can rest.”

He let out a long breath then continued, “when we’re able, we’ll carry on towards Tifan’s Well, we’re almost there. Verin will heal the both of us”.

She tucked her head into his good shoulder, she was too tired to argue and it made her feel completely worthless, not being able to heal her own Warder. Moiraine didn’t even want to think about getting healed, herself. She hated receiving healing from anyone other than Siuan.

Lan woke to the sound of fire cracking.

He doesn’t know how long he’s been asleep but the sun was in the sky when he closed his eyes and now stars fill the blue void.

Moiraine must be feeling better if she was able to build a fire, he thinks to himself.

He sits upright and sees her brushing the horses, deep in thought. He checks her health through the bond, she seems well rested but something is bothering her. She sensed him checking on her, turned her attention his way and gave him a sad smile.

He started to get up, he could tell she had a lot on her mind, he could feel her barely holding on to the lid of her emotions.

“Let me come to you, you still need rest”, she told him as she patted her horse on the back and tucked away the brush. She joined Lan by the fire but kept a distance.

They sat there in silence for what felt like hours though not a single hour had passed. He could feel her working things out and asked, “What’s on your mind?”.

She took a deep breath, opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out. Her mouth turned up into a sarcastic smile as she shook her head. He could tell, she didn’t know where to start.

The silence continued as he felt her having an internal conversation with herself.

“I’m scared,” she finally whispered and Lan felt her emotions run wild.

He sent comfort and warmth through the bond but stayed silent, giving her time to work out her thoughts.

“At the Eye of the World, we didn’t defeat the Dark One… We set his strongest Lieutenant free”.

He tried covering her with understanding through the bond but it only upset her.

“I was wrong, Lan I was wrong about everything. The Last Battle’s coming and we’re already losing it. The cuendillar that broke at the Eye of the World, that was the seal keeping The Father of Lies imprisoned”.

She shuddered at the memory.

“The Forsaken are 3,000 years old, they are the strongest channelers that ever lived and Ishamael may be waking the others. What they can do with the One Power make the Aes Sedai look like tavern magicians conjuring birds from their sleeves”

“Let me help you”, Lan offered but she just grew more angry.

“You have no conception of their capabilities!”, she cried.

“Then tell me!”, he shouted back.

He hung his head, shaking it. Closed his eyes as he drew in a deep breath. “I know what you’re doing…”

“Rand’s alive” she interrupted.

“No”, he said in disbelief, “you said he was dead”.

“You assumed”, she said sharply. Her tone let him know she was done talking but he sensed her holding something back.

“I took an oath to defend you, to give my life for you…”, Lan reminded her.

She said through tears, “You can no longer protect me”.

The words hurt her just as much as they hurt him, she may have believed them to be true but he couldn’t.

“I will protect you till my last breath”, he said as he grabbed her gently by the waist.

She placed her hand over his, “I know.” Moiraine gently moved his hand to her belly, “but this isn’t your responsibility.”

He finally understood. She was pushing him away to keep him from danger, to protect him. But he could be just as stubborn as she was.

“I’m not leaving you”, his hand squeezed hers, “tell me, what happened?”.

She took a deep breath and started telling him about the night Rand came to her door in Fal Dara, declaring himself the new dragon. How she didn’t come across the decision to mask the bond lightly. She wanted to be sure that if she were to die, he wouldn’t have to feel it. She told him of the battle she and Rand had with Ishamael, how they thought they had won. That Rand asked her to tell the others he didn’t survive and wouldn’t tell her where he was headed.

She paused for several minutes, closed her eyes then continued.

“Ba'alzamon appeared from the shadows and attacked me from behind. I can’t recall exactly what happened…only the terror that came as he whispered words of prophecies in my ear.”

He could feel every emotion from her, fear being the highest. Lan was as filled with overwhelming rage and hate, the wound on his shoulder began to throb.

He felt like he was going to be sick.

She tried her best to send comfort his way but she didn’t have the strength. She didn’t realize the emotional toll it would be, recalling that day.

”Lan?”, she said gently, rubbing his side.

He was stuck in his head, thinking of all the ways he wanted to get back at Ishamael.

“We can take a break, if need be, for you to process this” her voice barely above a whisper, “But… I need you to know… there’s more”.

Chapter Text

Moiraine woke before Lan, that was her first sign he wasn’t doing well. Her second was how weak she still felt after a full nights rest, he must be drawing on her stamina more than she realized.
She could feel her Warders pulse throbbing in the wound on his shoulder. Moiraine knew she didn’t have enough strength to fully heal him so she mustn’t even try. If the Healing isn’t complete, it remains like that, there is no second try for the same ailment. She had to get him to Verin, quickly.
She tried to wake him, just enough to help him to his horse but he wouldn’t stir. She tried lifting his arm around her back and get herself under his good shoulder. “Oh, Lan”, she sighed. She considered herself stronger than most women her size, her sisters always complimented her muscular arms but even she couldn’t physically lift Lan. Moiraine took a breath, “Light, give me strength”. She closed her eyes and sent weaves of air towards Lan, lifting one arm, then two, then a leg, and then the other. She took it slow, as she moved him from the ground to the horse. He looked like a puppet on invisible strings. He landed on his saddle with a thump as she shakily let go of the Source and clutched onto the horse for support. She took a few moments to catch her breath then pulled herself up in front of him.
Half the day had passed when Lan finally woke. She sensed the poison seeping deeper into his body, pain, confusion. She assumed he wanted to know where they were, “we should be to my sisters by…”.
“Did I climb up here or did you carry me?”, he interrupted.
“You believe I could carry you?”, she asked in disbelief but he could detect the slightest sliver of admiration underneath.
“I believe you can do anything”, he said as he leaned his head against hers.
He felt her smile as she finally confessed, “I used weaves of air”. Moiraine sensed his guilt as he told her she shouldn’t have strained herself with the One Power for him.
“You’re right”, she agreed, quietly.
“We’ll”, Lan scoffed, “that’s a first”. He could feel her deep in thought, curious, worried, weary.
“What is it?”, he finally asked.
She had to stop her automatic reaction of deflecting his question. She felt guilty for how she had treated him lately. He was right, she was trying to push him away. She knew the Dark One had his eye on her and she didn’t want to drag Lan into her mess. He deserves so much more than she could ever give him. She tried, gave him the chance to run but he wouldn’t take it, if he was so determined to stay by her side the least she could do was to tell him exactly what he was getting into.
“Lan… when I was touching the Source, it felt… different…”, she trailed off.
“And I hadn’t realized it at the time but I felt it first while fighting the eyeless”.
“What does it mean?”, he asked.
“I cannot be sure…”, she said before losing herself to thought once again.
They continued on, Lan slipping in and out of consciousness as they rode together.
She was playing out in her head, over and over again, what she would tell Verin when they got there. She needed to remember to ask Lan not to leave her alone with her inquisitive sister. Verin had a talent for sniffing out secrets and Moiraine had no intention of sharing hers. She laughed to herself as she remembered Lans dramatic plea to keep Adeleas away from him. She was still smiling to herself when she first felt it, a gentle flutter in her stomach, as if she had swallowed a butterfly. The feeling caught her breath in her throat. One hand went to the fluttering, the other still held on tightly to the reins with Lans arm nestled beneath hers, keeping him steady behind her while he slept.

When Lan woke again, he found her running things over in her mind.
“You’re awake, good”, she said quickly. “We’ll be there soon and there’s a few things to go over”.
They made the deal to not leave each other with their respected but concerning sisters. She explained what parts of their journey they would share with Verin when they arrived. He could tell something else was bothering her and that she was also in the rare mood that if he were to ask, she would provide a straight answer.
“What’s bothering you?”, he gently asked and invited her to lean back into him. He was still weak but he could hold himself up now and she needed rest.
“I agreed with you… that I shouldn’t have touched the Source, but not for the same reasons you had”. He felt her chest rise as she took a deep breath and continued, “I don’t know why the One Power feels differently, I don’t know the half of what’s going on…”, she said as panic rang in her voice. He wrapped her in his arms, flooding the bond with love and warmth.
After a sniffle from Moiraine, he heard, “I… I’m restricting myself from touching the Source”. Her voice barely above a whisper, “I fear it’s turning me mad”.
“That’s the exhaustion talking”, he offered.
Shaking her head, “we don’t know that”.
Lan could feel her every emotion. She had completely opened herself to him, this is how it had been towards the beginning of their friendship. Of course, right after they bonded it was a little awkward at first, Moiraine being so new to sharing emotion but once she got use to it, they shared every single sensation and thought, they thrived in their unspoken understanding. It wasn’t until these past few months that Moiraine made a habit of keeping things from him, it hurt. This, was soothing, like a cool balm on an aching wound.
He could feel how uneasy she was now, “your thinking about the nightmares”.
“I’m sorry I didn’t include you at the time, I…”, she said with remorse.
“Shhh… there’s no need to explain”, he said while pumping comfort and understanding her way.
She continued, “There’s been a boy in my dreams, I’ve never seen him before in the waking world but he seems so… familiar. The Father of Lies called him his but I don’t think he has any idea either… I could feel the Power radiating off the boy, he is stronger than he has any right to be”.
She turned her head on his good shoulder so that her face was hidden in his neck, “Lan, what if the child I’m carrying is a boy? What if every time I channel, the power runs through him, tainting him, turning him to the shadow before he’s even born? What if the madness I feel is the child’s?”, she made no attempt to hold back her tears.
His heart broke for her. She has had so much on her mind and she was overwhelming alone in it, even if that was by her own design. He thanked the Light she finally let him in.
“No more touching the Source”, he agreed.

Ahead of them, Moiraine could just make out the shape of the estate from between the trees. Smoke rose from the chimney of the study, a sign that Verin was home. Her compound was open to all sisters and their companions, and many chose to stay with her to study research.
Verin saw the pair arriving and met them at the gate. With a warm welcome she opened her arms to her sister, “Moiraine Sedai…”, she sang but her tone quickly changed when he eyes landed on Lan, “Why in Light’s name haven’t you healed your Warder?” her voice now laced with curiosity .
"Lan Mandragoran, would not allow it”, Moiraine snapped back.
Lan quickly interrupted, “At the time, she was not capable of Healing and by the time she regained her strength we were on your doorstep”.
Verin turned her beady eyes his way, studying him.
Moiraine was growing impatient, the poison had been seeping into Lans blood for two days now. “I knew we could count on you”, she said, placing a hand on Verins shoulder as she led Lan past her, through the gate and onto the patio, signaling for Lan to sit.
“Heal him, sister. We’ll have time for questions later”.
Verin preformed Lans Healing then moved her hands over Moiraine who quickly moved out of her reach, “Just Lan, thank you”.
“You don’t need any Healing?”, her voice again curious.
“I d…”, she choked on her words. After a moment she started again, “I am in perfect health”.
Lan was impressed with her wordage, she could not say she didn’t need healing. He knows what she has to heal from but even that is not something the One Power can erase.
“Very well then, is that all you’ve come for or is there something more?", she inquired.
“We were visiting with Alanna, she mentioned you were clearing books from your shelves. You know my fondness for reading…”
Verin’s smile deepened, something that suggested she had anticipated this moment for longer than Moiraine had realized. "I have some things that might interest you. Follow me."
With that, she turned and led them inside the compound. The air inside was thick with the smell of old paper and ink. The walls were lined with shelves of books. Thick volumes, delicate scrolls, and old manuscripts.
As they walked deeper into the estate, Verin gestured to a large table where several open books lay scattered across its surface. "Some of these are quite old," she said. "Some, as im sure you’ve suspected, are… unusual. But be warned, Moiraine Sedai, some knowledge is dangerous. Even I do not know all the consequences of studying the things I’ve collected."
Moiraine’s eyes flicked over the books, her mind already racing. "Knowledge does not frighten me, Verin," she said. Her fingers trembled slightly as she reached for the first book that caught her eye. "I only fear what I might not learn in time."
Verin studied her for a moment, then gave a small nod. "In that case, let us begin." Lan stayed nearby and started a pile of books for himself, Moiraine caught his eye and sent a warm smile his way, letting him know how much she appreciated him.

Chapter Text

A week has gone by since their arrival at Tifans Well. Lan did his best to keep Moiraine distracted. If they weren’t in Verins Library researching, they were perfecting her knife fighting skills. Her sisters had questions, of course. Wondering what an Aes Sedai needs with a knife when she can use the One Power, they had no idea she had cut herself off from touching the Source. Which also meant Moiraine couldn’t set wards to protect their dreams from the Dark One so Lan had come up with the prefect game plan. He had discovered that as long as she’s completely exhausted, her dreams are impenetrable. He carefully started planning their days, making her so worn out by the end of it that she falls into a deep sleep almost immediately.
Their days consisted of reading, eating, training, riding, fishing, swimming… He tried to add something new every few days to keep her from getting bored.
Everything was going well until that afternoon when they were practicing their knife fighting in the courtyard. Lan felt it instantly, if Moiraine noticed the fluttering, she didn’t show it.
“Thats enough for today, I need a break”, she said before returning her knife to its holder on her belt and walked off towards the house, Lan could feel her walls raising.
Lan was left stunned at the overwhelming sense of loyalty he felt for the child she was carrying from the moment he sensed it flutter.
Lan knew Moiraine needed space and wanted to give her all the time she needed. He went searching for a new way to distract his Aes Sedai.

Lan found her in the kitchen later with Adeleas. The two were sharing a plate of grapes and cheeses. He was happy to see her eating, she seemed annoyed that he had an opinion. Lan silently laughed, things were going so well, couldn’t have lasted forever I suppose.
He lingered in the doorway till Moiraine turned her attention towards him, “what is it, Lan?”
“When you’re done with your snack, I have something to show you”, he smiled gently. Curiosity spiked from her end of the bond, she grabbed a handful of grapes, “lead the way”.
He took her down a hall and then another, through the vineyard, leading her to an area on the estate she hadn’t seen before. He looked at her as they reached their destination. He opened the door, her eyebrow raising with questions. He gave a small bow, “After you…”
He doesn’t know what he was expecting her to feel but it certainly wasn’t annoyance, he laughed to himself.
“If you brought me here to warm your bath water, Lan Mandragoran , I will remind you… I’m not touching the Source”, she said sharply.
“The water has been warmed and the bath is not for me…”, he walked over to the wall where her favorite robe was already hanging on a peg. “I can feel your body aching from a week of training, let me give you this one luxury”.
Her guilt flooded the bond, he has been so patient and understanding with her even when she was acting like a child. The realization hit her again, he was too good for her. He deserved so much more.
He felt her coming undone and wrapped her in his arms, swaying and shushing her until she calmed down. She floated gratitude his way as she released herself from his embrace and started to undress. He grabbed the whistling kettle and began to pour more warmed water into the bath.
She felt his sudden shock and turned to see what caused his surprise only to find that he was looking at her.
She stood there facing him, with her clothes laying on the floor. “What is it?”, she questioned.
“I just… I hadn’t realized you started showing”, he confessed.
“A week ago, maybe two…”, she kept her end of bond cool, putting her hand out for Lan to help her into the tub. “My dress hides it, with a little help from Alanna and the One Power”, she looked back at him with a smirk.
He was impressed with her creativity, though he was not surprised. Moiraine was always two steps ahead of what she appeared.
“There’s room for one more…”, she gestured next to her with her head.
Lan changed out of his clothes and climbed in across from her.
They sat there in comfortable silence, it had been such a long time since they shared a warm bath. Both their bodies needed this. Muscles sore and aching, hers more than his. Lan took note of all the changes in her body. Her swollen breasts, how emotional she gets over the smallest things. How tired she becomes after a few hours of riding, how sensitive she is to certain smells.
“May I?”, he leaned in.
“Please…”, she turned her back towards him and pulled her legs up in front of her.
He knew all the places that needed attention. He gently moved his hands from knot to knot, leaving her completely relaxed. She leaned back into him, ready to fall asleep. He rested his chin in her hair and breathed her in.
He sensed her smiling when he felt the flutters begin. She froze at first, quickly acting nonchalant but it was too late, he noticed. “Talk to me…”, he tried.
She shook her head, “I can’t hide from it anymore, it’s too real”, she said, followed by a deep sigh. “The morning sickness… that made it feel real but I was still denying it at that point, there’s no denying it now”. He wrapped her in his arms, sending her silent comfort when the butterflies took off again. He felt her breath catch in her throat, this was too intimate for her… he moved to give her space at the same time she did and his leg rubbed between hers, he pulled back the second it happened but it was no use, he felt a surge of yearning ripple through her, flooded by sheer embarrassment.
He tried to smooth it over, “it’s nothing to be ashamed of, it’s to be expected actually…”.
She looks at him with a raised eyebrow, “what are you talking about, Gaidin?”, she asks with a hint of amusement.
“Don’t tell me you haven’t noticed… while you’ve been studying prophecy, I’ve been studying medicine”, he said, questioning.
“I hadn’t noticed”, she confessed. “I hope Verin hasn’t either…”
“I’m being careful. Only opening books that include all medical aid. Not just pregnancy and childbirth. As far as anyone’s concerned, Im a protective Warder, becoming knowledgeable in what could help us on our journey searching for the Dragon”.
Her emotions took over the bond, she was overwhelming grateful for him, their bond. She let her hand land on his leg. Another surge of yearning… If she felt embarrassment this time she didn’t show it. “Moiraine, it’s getting late…”, he started to stand but she gently caught his hand, “Like I can sleep now…”, she said with a knowing tone.
Lan didn’t know what to make of it. They have never acted this way before. He loves her and cares for her, thinks shes beautiful and doesn’t know how he could live without her… but he’s never felt anything romantic towards her. And he’s never noticed her feel that way towards him, either. “It’s the hormones, Moiraine, it’s common in the second trimester to feel an increase in…”
The water was starting to cool, Moiraine reached to stand up. He couldn’t help but notice how swollen her breasts have become as they hung above the water, another surge ran through the bond but this time it came from him. Her eyes widened as his yearning reached her. He stood up to join her and helped her out of the bath. She was covered in goosebumps so he quickly went to cover her in her robe. She looked up at him, eyes locking with his. They shared a long look, letting each other explore all the emotions the other was feeling. He was concerned for her, did she really want this or was it just in-the-moment hormones? He didn’t want to embarrass her. He was a bit embarrassed himself when he felt his own yearning for her. It caught him by surprise but now he couldn’t get it out of his mind, it was all he could think about.
Moiraine started to shiver. “Let’s get you warmed up”. He laughed to himself has he sensed her thinking of a few ways they could warm up.
The sun had already started to set, it was Moiraines favorite time of day. The world had an orange cast to it, leaving everything looking warm and cozy. She stopped to take in the view. Humming to herself, relishing in the realization that despite her circumstances, she had Lan by her side. She was filled, once again, with a longing to feel him, needing him closer. She looked to him with concern… hugging his arm against her body. Her stomach growled and he jumped at the opportunity to change the focus. He wrapped his arm around her waist, “Come on, let’s find you something to eat”.

Later that night, at the bonfires, Verin leaned over to Lan. She spoke gently, careful not to disturb Moiraine who had fallen asleep in his lap, “I’ve never seen Moiraine Sedai this happy, whatever it is you’re doing, you’re doing it well”. She patted him on the shoulder and dismissed herself for the night.
He was blushing inside but his face didn’t show it. He had never expected any of this but he couldn’t help himself from enjoying it.

Chapter Text

Another week of activities passed. Then a second, then a third, until they’d been visitors of Tifans Well for a whole month.
Lan sensed the shift in Moiraine as she started to plan their next moves. He’s been delivering her mail everyday. He sees the letters she’s getting in from her eyes & ears on the road. “We’re going after Rand?”, he spoke aloud.
“Yes… it’s time we moved on”, she looked at him with a gentle smile, “but I did very much enjoy our time here together”. He felt her blushing through the bond. Their time here had been much different from what they’ve been use to these past few years. He never expected to bed her, but he did and continued to do so at the pleasure of his Aes Sedai. They both enjoyed their newly discovered activity but he knew it was strictly business for her, no romantic emotions. He also knew hormones were a big contributor, she insisted it was just another way to tire her out before bedtime, to replace the wards. Either way, when she wanted him, she needed him. When it hit, her longing for him was overwhelming for the both of them, he couldn’t help but yearn for her in return, most their nights here ended like this. Lan wondered if it would continue on the road or if it was part of the rumored whimsy of Tifans Well. Regardless, he enjoyed his time here as well and sent his comfort through the bond.

That afternoon, at lunch, Moiraine told her sisters they would be continuing on their journey. Verin quickly took out the paper and pen she had tucked in her blouse and started making a list of things Moiraine needed for her travels then flipped the paper over, starting another list of libraries along the way and which books to be looking for. “If you find yourself in Tear, get to the Stone. Oh the texts they must house in there…”, she started off on a tangent. Moiraine sat there filling herself with breads and cheeses, letting her Brown sister ramble. She was trying to give Lan time to collect the books he needed without her sisters hovering nearby. He was smart to be looking into medical books, she hadn’t thought of that. Moiraines focus has always been on Rand and the Last Battle, Lans focus had always been Moiraine and now this pregnancy. Her heart ached as she let herself soak in the fact that he was too good for her. She had been such a brat towards him in the beginning, when she was trying to push him away. But it didn’t phase him. Nothing ever did. She truly did not deserve him…
Verins voice brought her back from thought, “Sister?”.
“I’m sorry, Verin, I did not catch what you said”, Moiraine confessed.
“I was simply saying for you to stay an extra day. A shipment will be delivered tomorrow from the White Tower. I can send you with supplies and plenty of provisions”, Verin persuaded.
“We could make use of one more night, I suppose…”, Moiraine said, selfishly.
“I know”, Verin said with a look that made Moiraine question how loud they had been. Shes restricting herself from using the One Power so she hadn’t set weaves to conceal their noise but she had thought they were keeping themselves at a respectful volume, when they remembered to, at least. She blushed and Verin responded with a knowing smirk.

That next morning, Lan woke first from all of Moiraines tossing and turning. It’s a wonder either of them got any sleep that night. They have been getting such great sleep the whole time they’ve been here but not last night. He hates how uncomfortable she’s feeling, how there’s nothing he can do to help. She feels…weighed-down, that’s the only way Lan can describe it. Physically, emotionally, mentally. Lan can feel the life growing inside of her, causing her already fragile frame to stretch, to ache. He doesn’t have to imagine what it feels like to carry the burden of a secret pregnancy, he feels it first hand through her end of the bond. She has complicated feelings toward her situation, rightly so, but Lan was proud of how well she had been dealing with it. She was still letting him in, sharing everything with him. She wasn’t hiding from him anymore, they were finally back to the healthy space of complete trust, honesty, and respect.

She felt his smile and opened her eyes. “Good morning”, he greeted her.
“There is nothing you can do for me, Gaidin, and your pity is not helping”, she said with a sigh, sensing him taking in her aching body and feeling his guilt for not being able to relieve her.
“Verin said supplies will be here by noon”, he changed the subject. “Did you want to head out after lunch or stay till dinner?”
She didn’t even need to speak aloud, he understood. “We can head out after lunch”, he agreed.

Moiraine was inside eating with her two Brown sisters and a few of their other guests. Meals were still served on time but Verin loved a good charcuterie board always in reach for free grazing. Lan was picking grapes for the road with Tomas when Verin got her Warders alert that the caravan from the Tower had arrived. Lans end of the bond alerted Moiraine as well but for different reasons. Something caught him off guard. He feels surprised, and… nervous? She needed to know what had Lan so intrigued. She excused herself from the table and started to head out the door. At the same time, two of the travelers entered.
An echo of gasps filled the doorway as Elayne and Egwene removed their hoods and realized they were blocking the exit of Moiraine Sedai.
Before anyone could say anything, Verin grabbed the two new guests by the arms and announced, “ah, newly raised Accepted, still so malleable… Have you thought on your Ajah yet? No worries, there’s still plenty of time!”, leading them round the table.
Moiraine no longer needed to check on Lan, it became clear with these two here that his cause of concern was Nynaeve.
For the first time, Moiraine felt a tingling of jealousy. She stuffed it down and returned to the table with the others.

Lan and Nynaeve started at the same time, “What are you doing here!?”
Lan gave a gentle nod, encouraging her to go first.
“I can not talk about it, official Aes Sedai business!”, she said with a huff, trying her best to sound regal. “What are you doing here? Are you here with her?”, she accused.
Lan laughed to himself, he had a way of attracting stubborn women. “We were actually getting ready to leave, Rand is…”, he started before Nynaeve quickly interrupted. “So he is alive! I knew it! That woman, letting us believe he was dead…”, she started mumbling to herself.
“You think you know this world? You know nothing. The Dark One is coming for Rand and Moiraine has fought his forces with everything she has”, he explained.
“If she cares about him so much then why did she leave him?”, she threw back.
“She didn’t leave him… he left her”, those last words stung more than he let show.

Moiraine wasn’t having it any easier. Lunch was brought out to the table and the smell of pork made her stomach turn. She wanted to remain and listen to what brought the girls so far away from the Tower but she needed fresh air or she’d be sick. Without taking the time to excuse herself, she got up and slipped out the side door, quickly ducking around a fountain before she let her breakfast back up. She reached for Lan through the bond…

Lan sensed her and sent comfort, followed by encouragement and determination, letting her know that he understood she’s calling for him but he can’t step away, he knows she’s got this though.
She scoffed back through the bond, she knew she had this too but it would be nice if he were there to hold back her hair.

“Is Moiraine calling you home for supper?”, Nynaeve interrupted.
“It’s Moiraine Sedai, to you”, he reminded. “You know that to be involved with me is to be involved with her, you do not get one without the other”.
“I wouldn’t be too sure about that”, she snapped back. She felt guiltly the moment she saw his face change, waiting for her to explain.
She continued, “I went through the Arches and the last one showed me my future… our future, a future without her… two years had passed while I was in there and I did not hear one mention of Moiraine Sedai”.
Fear shot through him, rage, denial. Moiraine was still sicking up but sensed Lans overwhelming pain and tried to send comfort his way. She wondered what in Light’s name Nynaeve could have said or done to upset Lan this much, she got up but the moment she stood she realized she had moved too quickly and reached out to steady herself. Verin was there to catch her. She placed her hand on Moiraines belly, “Either you tell me exactly what’s going on… or I write to the Amyrlin and you can try explaining it to her”, Verin threatened.
Moiraine smacked her hand away, staring right back at her, “What are you implying, sister?”
“The Eye of the Dark One is upon you. Did you not think I would notice? I assume it started when you brought those boys back to Tar Valon last autumn? And the attack I healed Lan from was not the first attack by a dark friend… and now this…”, she waved an arm towards Moiraines middle.

Lan sensed Moiraine feeling cornered, “We’re not done with this conversation, but she needs me”. Nynaeve scoffed, he didn’t need to say who, she knew. Only a fool of a man would go running for that fool of a woman, she thought to herself. Wondering what that made her as she finally decided to follow after him.

Moiraine shook her head and laughed a sarcastic laugh. She should’ve known better, trying to keep it secret from Verin. She started considering her options. Of all the people to find out, at least it was someone she always felt like she could trust. “I need an oath of allegiance first”, she said sharply.
“An oath declaring what? That I will never betray you? Neither of us knows what the future may bring, it may one day be nessesary. And even oaths have loopholes one can exploit. Hmm, for now you will simply have to trust me and I, you…”
Moiraine continued to stare at her Brown sister. Verin picked up again, “I have hidden books that you may find useful. Prophecies that speak of Toman Head and battles in the sky, a dragon born into ice and fire, a sword of flame and the branded hand that uses it. I could share these with you, but you must share… first”.
Nynaeve caught up to Lan and they entered the courtyard, together.
Moiraine glanced over to Lan with a pained expression. He felt her defeat through the bond, but also that she didn’t need him to interfere. She breathed in deeply and released it as she brought her attention back to Verin.
“I found the Dragon… We thought we had fought the Dark One and won, but we were tricked.” She started to speak louder so Nynaeve could hear, “Rand felt the madness and feared for those he loved, he asked me to spread word that he died there and left.” She pulled the piece of cuendillar from her dress pocket, with a gasp Verin grabbed it out of her hands.
She gave another glance to Lan, then Nynaeve, then back to Verin, continuing in a whisper, “I was as mesmerized with the broken heart stone as you are…”. She took a deep breath, trying to push though the words, “that was when one of the Forsaken forced himself on me… the whole time whispering riddles of prophecy in my ear…”
Lan couldn’t listen any longer and turned, quickly walking out into the vineyard, out of earshot. Nynaeve still in shock, had to grab onto his hand so she wouldn’t be left behind.

“Are you saying one of the Forsaken put you into this condition?” Verin asked, cautiously.
Moiraine, eyes squeezed shut, shook her head ‘yes’ in agreement.
Verin stepped forward and gently held Moiraines face in her palms, “oh, sister, I am so sorry… You are not alone in this... Tell me, how can I help?”, she squeezed Moiraines hands in her own.
“I need you to inform the Amyrlin”, Moiraine finally said. “She needs to know what’s happened”.

Lan was trying to steady his breath, Nynaeve stayed by his side, gently rubbing his back. She felt guilty for blaming Moiraine for Rands death when the whole time she was just protecting him. But did she hear that right? Moiraine [attacked] by a Forsaken? This is what happened after Rand walked away? No wonder Lan got so defensive… and she’s pregnant? Her mind went back to the child she saw in the Arches.
Nynaeve internally argued with herself, weighing the idea of telling Lan everything she experienced during her test.
“There’s more to my journey through the Arches…”, she started. He continued in silence but leaned his head towards her, trying to put all his focus the Void, he needed to hear the whole story and have time to reflect on it before he brought it to Moiraine.

The Blue Aes Sedai had stayed locked in her room ever since her confession in the courtyard. She had not planned on sharing such sensitive information with anyone outside of Lan. She tried writing to Siuan a few times over the past five months, but each attempt ended up crumbled and thrown in the trash.

“When women go through what Moiraine experienced, it is the most brutal form of assault. Your body no longer feels like your own. Your mind reliving the trauma again and again”, Verin explained.
“Yes”, Adeleas agreed, “most women never recover”.
Verins beady eyes shot a look at her sister. Verin was not very happy when she discovered Adeleas used her own eve’s dropping weave to listen in on hers and Moiraines conversation. Adeleas didn’t see the big deal, she got curious when she saw Lan and Nynaeve running that way.
Verin continued, “But not Moiraine Sedai. Every single day, she fights. She wakes up and puts one foot in front of the other. I don’t look at Moiraine Sedai and see a broken woman. I look at her at I see strength. More strength than any of us could possibly muster”.
Lan let them speak their minds. They thought she was keeping to herself out of embarrassment or stubbornness. He knew Moiraine was using this time to freely freak out about Siuan finally discovering her secret. He had a secret of his own, now. Or, rather, Nynaeves secret that she shared with him.
She told him about the three Arches she went through at the White Tower. How, in the last one, they shared a life together. They were married and bonded. Not once did she see or hear of Moiraine.
“But…”she said softly, “…there was a child”.
Lan whipped his head around to face her, still silent.
“The child called you father but I was not the mother,” she added. “Lan… she looked just like her”, she whispered.
“The child is a girl?”, he finally spoke.
She shook her head ‘yes’, “What does it mean?”
“This could change everything”, he whispered.

Chapter Text

Lan sensed as Moiraine starting to shift from minor freak-out to lowkey panic, he turned to Nynaeve, “Let me walk you to your room”.

They walked in silence till the other guests of the house were out of ear shot, Nynaeve spoke first.

“Are you still leaving today?”, she asked kindly.

“One more night, we’ll be gone by first light”, Lan replied.

They got to her door and could hear the other girls giggling inside.

“Thank you, for telling me…”, Lan started.

Nynaeve gave a small smile but hid it by looking down towards her feet. Lan gently lifted her chin so that her eyes would meet his, “Thank you for sharing The Arches with me… thank you for letting me in”.

He leaned forward, slowly, and kissed her. It was a soft kiss, short, but it left her heart pounding.

“I doubt we’ll be at dinner but perhaps, I’ll see you at the bonfire later?”, he gave a little bow and left.

Nynaeve caught herself staring after him and blushed, she opened the door and glided into the room.

“I told you she was with him!”, Egwene shouted.

“Shhh… let her speak!” Elayne replied before turning her attention back to Nynaeve, “Tell us everything!”.

“There’s nothing to tell…”, she said matter-of-fact before cracking a smile towards the girls.

“Don’t kiss and tell then, I just wanted to hear about something lovely for a change”, Elayne spat out.

“Well, I did learn something…” Nynaeve remembered.

They all huddled on her bed as she told them that Rand was indeed alive. That he fought and freed Ishamael at The Eye of the World. She explained that Rand had Moiraine tell them he died cause he was afraid to come back and harm them, since all men who channel end up going mad.

Lan walked quickly to the room he shared with Moiraine. She had calmed herself just enough to keep her panic at bay. She sensed him walking up and her mood started to improve, he was her comfort.

Lan met her on the balcony, sensing something was off. “What is it?”, he asked gently.

She continued staring out into the distance in silence before turning to look at him, “It’s nothing. Nostalgia, I suppose”.

She turned back towards their room. Lan raised his eyebrows in surprise at her answer and followed her.

Moiraine continued, “The air… there’s something about it. The smell, it reminds me of the night we met”. She turned to face him.

“It’s unlike you to dwell on the past”, realizing again that he’s underestimated her hormones.

Moiraine looked up at him with a sad smile. He could feel her holding back her guilt, keeping it from crashing through the bond as she said, “I feel I’ve taken everything from you, and more”.

She felt his disbelief at her words then sensed as he floated love and comfort, honestly and loyalty her way.

“You have taken nothing from me”, Lan replied thoughtfully.

“There’s more to life than me, this mission”, she quickly added.

Lan took a deep breath, “Before you I had nothing to live for and nothing to die for. You have given me both.”

She couldn’t help but let his words touch the corners of her, she turned from him to hide her smile. She was letting her emotions distract her, she was trying to send him a message. “I like her, you know”, she looked back at him, “the Wisdom”.

He gave her a smile, kissed her brow and said, “let me find something for you to eat”.

Moiraine was hungry but she was also concerned. Nynaeve had said or done something earlier that threw Lan into a rage. And she can still sense how uneasy he feels even though he’s trying to mask it, distract himself with his feelings for Nynaeve.

He likes her, a lot and rather than get jealous Moiraine is realizing that she needs to encourage him to seek out the Wisdom. Lan deserves to get what he wants in this life.

He returned with a bowl of shredded cabbage and carrots. A snack he discovered Moiraine loves. He’s learned that as long as the consistency isn’t mushy, she enjoys most vegetables.

She sent him appreciation through the bond as he handed her the bowl. “I think it wise to have the girls ride out with us. Would you see to it?”, she said in between bites.

“You know where they’re headed?”, Lan asked, happy to feel her enjoying her food.

She shook her head, “Only North, which is in line with us”.

He could feel her scheming and finally asked, “And you’re certain you want those 3 nipping at our heels? I cannot look after you properly if I’m also tending to others”.

He was realizing how badly this could go, two head-butting women, one who’s carrying a secret, one who has a hard time with anything not her idea. Plus, two more.

Moiraine sensed his uncertainty through the bond, “I am aware of your concerns, Gaidin, but these girls need to learn what it means to be Aes Sedai. They should be in the Tower learning all this but the pattern brought them here, to us... I can teach them”.

“But you’ve restricted channeling for now and you should be taking things easy, not adding more”, he reminded.

She smiled at him, “I can teach without touching the Source, Lan and I will rest when I can but this is more than just about me. They need to understand what they’re walking into. The Dark One’s forces are gathering, and these girls must be ready for what’s to come."

Lan frowned as he crossed his arms, "I agree, but you cannot teach them everything they need to know before we reach Cairhien and we do not even know where they’re heading, they could break off from us before then."

Moiraine is starting to lose her patience, “I cannot teach them everything but I can begin. Rand will need them, all of them, if we are to stand against the Forsaken."

"You’re asking too much. They are not ready”, he said in frustration.

"Do not underestimate them, Lan. They’ve come far, and they will rise to this if given the chance.”, she exclaimed. She could feel the weight of it on him and continued, “I do not expect them to fight the Forsaken today. I expect them to learn how to fight when the time comes. To learn the lessons that will make them useful to Rand and to the world. The Last Battle is coming, and every moment we waste means the Shadow grows stronger."

Lan couldn’t hide the fear in his voice, "And what of you, Moiraine? Who will watch over you when I’m focused on them?"

She reached up and gently cupped his cheek in her hand, "You worry more than you use to".

”I sleep less, so I have the time”, he confessed.

Nynaeve was happy to see Lan walk into the dining hall. She made the girls move down to leave the seat next to her open, she was glad it was not in vain.

He joined her at the long wooden table scattered with other Aes Sedai and their Warders, all chatting away.

“I’m glad you made it”, Nynaeve said as he sat down next to her.

“Me too”, Lan replied back with a smile.

The night continued, filling the hall with laughter and conversation.

Adeleas filling Elayne and Egwene in on all Tower gossip gave Nynaeve plenty of time to flirt with Lan.

“Ride out with us. I hear we’re headed in the same direction, we could have more time together…”, Lan offered as he leaned back in his chair.

“Ride out with you? Where? You know I have my own mission”, she reminded.

Thomas brought out another tray of roasted meats and refilled everyone’s cups with spiced wine.

Lans distracted. He’s enjoying his time here with Nynaeve but his thoughts keep drifting to Moiraine. He still doesn’t know what to think about Nynaeves vision in the Arches. Moiraine hasn’t mentioned it since the first time but Lan knows how worried she is over the possibility of the child being a boy and turning to the Shadow from the womb.

Nynaeves viewing included a girl, the spitting image of Moiraine. But Moiraine was not included in the vision. The thought of that brought on pain he had to quickly swallow, remembering where he was. It would do Moiraine well to know she was having a girl but how can he be certain what Nynaeve saw was real? And how is he supposed to tell Moiraine that she was not in their future?

He feels Moiraine checking on him through the bond and sends reassurance her way, he doesn’t mean to worry her.

Moiraine is in their room, pacing around as she overthinks. Her thoughts circling back to Siuan, she will finally know what’s happened.

Moiraine feels like she’s going to be sick.

She’s wanted to write Siuan many times but couldn’t finish the sentence, she wonders what Verin wrote.

Moiraine’s tired and hungry and needy, she reaches for Lan through the bond.

When she checked in on him earlier, he was enjoying himself, very much so.

Now, he’s in pain, like someone grabbing his heart from his chest.

Why does this keep happening when he’s with her, Moiraine thinks to herself. She sends concern his way, with love and comfort.

Thomas fills another round of wine glasses and brings out desserts.

“Lan? You were saying…”, Nynaeve noticing him drifting.

“We’re heading for Cairhien, and I’m sure that’s not so far from where you need to be. We could have days, weeks instead of just today”.

His gaze holds hers for a long moment, until she finally asks, “Who’s asking me to come along? You or Moiraine?” She watches him carefully, noticing the twitch of his brow.

“I want you to come. Not for Moiraine, not because she asked, but because I want you there”, he said while taking another sip of wine.

Without warning, a sudden, sharp kick hit against Lan’s ribs. He felt all of it. How Moiraine’s breath caught in her chest and wave of vulnerability came crashing through her thoughts. Lan’s heart ached as Moiraine’s panic surged through him like lightning. As her thoughts flooded him, he felt the pain of her realization: She was carrying the child of a Forsaken.

For a moment, he couldn't breathe. His hand gripped the edge of his glass, the wine sloshing slightly as his fingers tightened around it. He turned his gaze to Nynaeve, “Excuse me”.

Without waiting for a response, Lan rose from the table. He moved quickly through the hallways. He could feel her more clearly now. Heartbeat racing, her breath shallow as she fought against the rising tide of panic.

He swung open the door and found her by the bookshelf. Her eyes wide with a look he had never seen before. "Lan…", her voice shaking, "Tell me this isn’t real… tell me this is just a dream”. She started to laugh and at the same time silent tears started streaming out of her eyes.

He took her in his arms and closed her in a tight hug. He hushed and swayed, the way a mother would soothe her fussing child. The faintest hint of a sigh escaping from Moiraine as she looked up at him. Her hand rested lightly on her stomach, the swell of her belly still foreign to her. Every flutter, she ignored but at some point those flutters grew to full kicks and every single one reminds Moiraine of what happened and that she has no idea what’s to come.

She took a breath, slow and shaky, leaning into his touch. "I’m afraid, Lan. Afraid that this child will carry with it all the darkness, all the power of the Forsaken."

“Moiraine,” he said softly, pressing his lips to her forehead. “This child is half of you, how could it be anything else but Light?.”

Her eyes, full of uncertainty, locked onto his. "How can you say that?" she whispered. "What if the darkness has already taken root? What if it’s too late?”

Lan’s hand cupped her face, his thumb brushing gently over her cheek. “Because I believe in you. And because I will stand by you, whatever comes. We will decide what the child becomes, together. We won’t let fear or darkness decide for us.”

Chapter Text

Lan woke in full alert. He could sense Moiraines panic through the bond even in his sleep.

With all the excitement yesterday they had fallen asleep without making sure Moiraine would sleep through the night.

It was too late, Lan knew Ba’alzamon was in her dreams when she wouldn’t wake. All he could do was sit with her and wait.

“You can do this, Moiraine”, he whispered.

Moiraine was catching on to subtle clues to being in the World of Dreams. How she couldn’t shake the constant feeling of unseen eyes watching from every direction. An object such as a bowl of food or a letter may flicker in and out before her eyes. A door in Tel'aran'rhiod may appear open one second, and shut the next, she just needed to train her mind to catch these things and know them to be signs of the Unseen World.

She was walking through the Two Rivers on Bel Tine. The boy was back. She let him lead her to the edge of the water, watching him, wondering.

Something about him seemed so familiar, could it be the representation of the child she was carrying, like Ishamael suspected?

But that wouldn’t explain how she knew those eyes, she’s stared into them before. She watched as he lit the candle in the lantern and placed it on the water. He turned back to look at her with a smile that reached both ears, she couldn’t help but be overwhelmed by the feeling it created within her.

“Why, whenever I’m looking for Rand, I find you?”, Ba’alzamons voice loomed from behind.

He caught her off guard and for a moment she felt like she was back at the Eye of the World with him. The boy stepped in front of Moiraine, coming between her and the Father of Lies while grabbing a stick from the ground and pointing it at Ishamael, growling.

Ishamaels laugh echoed, “You? You can not yet face down one of the Chosen, my child”.

Moiraines instinct was to protect, to shield, to keep him safe, but her mind raced. Ishamael has never tried harming her in the World of Dreams, he was always looking for Rand. Perhaps there is no need to fight him here, just distract him.

She placed her hand on the boys chest and moved herself to block him from the Father of Lies.

"Moiraine Sedai," his voice slithered through her mind before she could even speak, "You can feel him, can't you? Our child you carry. The future that stirs inside you."

She shuddered, a sharp pain of fear twisting within her. There was something about the way he spoke that made her doubt everything she knew. Her eyes darted nervously to the little boy.

“Our son. The child of a Chosen One. It won’t be long before he grows strong enough, and when that happens, the world will burn."

Moiraine’s heart skipped a beat. She tried speaking but nothing came out.

Ishamael's voice continued, taunting. "You fear him, don't you? You know he is the key to everything. Our child, born of darkness and light, the perfect weapon."

The words crashed against her like waves, drowning her thoughts. Her breath came shallow and quick.

"No," she whispered fiercely, shaking her head. "You lie…"

He cut her off, "Soon, the time will come when you cannot deny it any longer."

Moiraine stood paralyzed in his darkness. As the shadows of the World of Dreams closed in on her, Ishamael’s laughter echoed through the darkness.

"You cannot protect him forever, Aes Sedai. Soon, you will see him for what he truly is. And then... you will join us."

Moiraine shot up in bed, gasping for breath. Ishamael’s voice, the boy. It was all there, and yet she couldn’t make sense of it. Slowly, as her pulse steadied, she felt Lan’s careful concern. His hands reached for her, warm and grounding.

"Moiraine," his voice was soft but urgent, "What happened?”

Her breath came in short, shallow bursts as she turned to him. "Ishamael," she whispered, the name slipping from her lips as though it were a curse. "He’s certain I’m carrying a son." Her voice faltered, she closed her eyes, trying to collect herself. "He called the child a weapon, that he will cause the world to burn…"

Lan’s hands tightened on her arms, she could feel his concern deepening, "He is the Father of Lies".

"I know," she breathed, shaking her head, her chest tight with confusion and fear. "But… he… he was so certain…The boy was in the dream too," She swallowed hard, the weight of the words pressing against her.

She paused, her thoughts on the child who had haunted her dreams almost every week since the Eye of the World. His face. His eyes. They were a puzzle she couldn’t solve.

"The child," she continued, voice shaking now, "I don’t know who he is. But when I look at him… every time I look into his eyes, I think… oh I don’t know" Her voice broke off, the connection too real, too deep. "Maybe it is a son. The son of a Forsaken".

Lan could sense the distress radiating off of her. His hand gently cupped her face, inviting her to meet his eyes.

"Moiraine," he murmured softly, "You don’t believe it’s true, do you? That this child could be anything but Light, coming from you." His gaze searched hers.

"I don’t know," she whispered finally.

Lan’s expression softened, though his worry remained. He knew she wasn’t a woman to give in to fear easily, but this… this was different.

He wanted to tell her not to worry, that her child would be a girl and look just like her. He wanted to hug her and hold her until she felt better, until the ache left her heart and the pain left her body. Instead he took her hand in his, letting her know she was not alone.

By first-light, Moiraine and Lan were ready to leave Tifan's Well for Cairhien. Verin had made sure that they were well prepared for the journey ahead, “There are two saddlebags packed with supplies for the road, along with a small bundle of instructions meant for Lan”, she turned to him, “These instructions are not just about the journey, but also detailed guidance on how to care for Moiraine during the next few months. You’ll see the medical books I’ve thrown in as well”.

“Thank you, Verin Sedai”, he said genuinely.

Verin turned towards Moiraine, "When you reach Cairhien, make sure you locate the books on prophecy. You’ll find them in the old libraries there, though you may need to search carefully as this one hasn’t been accounted for in decades. Look for a faded red book, torn spine. It’s said to contain more than just the usual prophecies."

Moiraine meets her gaze, her brow raised in question. “You think there’s something we’ve missed? ”

Verin’s eyes flickered with the weight of hidden knowledge. “I can't say for certain. But prophecy has a way of revealing itself in layers and in Cairhien, you may find something. It’s... important. Be vigilant, and don’t let anything slip by unnoticed.”

Moiraine nods slowly, understanding that this advice is not just a suggestion, but a piece of the puzzle she must fit together.

"I will," Moiraine replied, her mind already turning over the possibilities. "Thank you, sister."

Verin gave her a small nod before she turned back towards Lan, leaving Moiraine with her thoughts and the knowledge that the road ahead is more complicated than it appears.

"Lan," Verin said in that tone of hers, "take care of her. She’s not as invulnerable as she may seem, not now. Make sure she stays nourished and take care of her cravings”, she winked at him as she tossed him a bag. He opened it up, honey cakes. Lan handed one to Moiraine as he lifted her up on top of her horse. She ate it slowly, savoring every bite then reached out for another. He handed one over while laughing, “let’s try pacing ourselves, shall we?”

Just as they were about to set out, Nynaeve, Egwene and Elayne rode out from the stables. "We’re going with you," Nynaeve declared. "It’s not just you two who need to get to Cairhien. We have our own reasons."

Moiraine exchanged a glance with Lan, who simply raised an eyebrow.

They started down the road, the quiet hum of their horses' hooves against the earth filled the air, it was Egwene’s voice that broke the silence, clear and determined.
"Moiraine, we were wondering…," she began, her tone cool.
Moiraine turned her head slightly, her expression calm but attentive, as if she knew the question was coming.

Lan, riding beside them, remained silent, his eyes scanning the road, pulled his horse up next to Nynaeve and gave her a small smile.

"Will you teach us ways of the One Power? We’re Accepted now but our mission has taken over our learning and I won’t fall behind!", Egwene explained.

Moiraine paused, looking at each of the girls before she finally replied, her voice sharp, “I will teach you what I can. But understand this, this is not something you can rush. Do not be discouraged if you don’t pick it up swiftly”.

Elayne and Egwene both nodded in agreement and started asking questions, one after the other and then asked in more detail.

By the end of the day Moiraine could feel the weight of their questions on her, but she was more than willing to answer them. She had seen the hunger in the girl's eyes. The same hunger she and Siuan had once when they first began to learn the One Power.

Elayne spoke next, her voice filled with determination. "What about using it in battle? How do we defend ourselves with it? What about an attack?" Her eyes were fixed on Moiraine, waiting for an answer.

Moiraine gave a small smile, her gaze flickering to the road ahead. “Defending and attacking with the One Power… it is not about sheer strength or raw energy. It is about precision, about control. Anyone can throw a blast of Fire or send a surge of Air, but the true power comes from using those weaves with purpose.”

She paused while shifting in her saddle, taking small breath’s as the discomfort of her body grew. The long ride had already worn her down. Her growing belly was still something to get use to on horseback. She had barely started showing by the time they arrived at Tifan’s Well so riding was no different. Now, she was somewhere between five and six months pregnant, sitting in a saddle all day wasn’t as comfortable as it once was.

She knew Lan could feel everything she was feeling and was surprised he hadn’t tried to break yet. He must know that she would refuse, the first few times, at least.

She continued, "Defending is about reacting swiftly, with the right weave at the right time. Air is often used to deflect, to shield, but it must be focused. A single weave of Air can create a barrier against an incoming attack, but it must be woven tightly, layered. A weak weave will shatter, and you will be exposed."

Elayne, her brow furrowed with concentration, spoke up. “But how do we know when to use Air, or when to use Fire, or something else?”

Moiraine glanced at her, her lips curving slightly. “That comes with experience and the ability to sense the intent behind the attack. If you are facing someone who wields Fire, you may want to weave Air to create a barrier. But if you are in close combat, Fire might be more effective, as it is a force that can overwhelm, incinerate.” She looked ahead, her eyes narrowing slightly as if visualizing the steps. “In attack, the goal is not to burn everything in your path but to strike with precision. A weave of Fire can be small, focused, controlled. Too much energy is wasteful. It must be directed.”

A few lengths behind the girls rode Lan and Nynaeve. The distance between them allowed for privacy, or at least the illusion of it, as the quiet whispers of their voices, sometimes playful, sometimes teasing, floated easily on the breeze.

“I owe Moiraine 3 silvers, Lan stated. “You were scowling, I bet on pouting”, he teased.

Nynaeve was all too aware of the way his presence seemed to settle around her, even when they didn’t speak. The silence between them was easy, comfortable. She had learned to ignore the flutter in her chest when he looked at her, to not acknowledge the warm tension in the air when their eyes met. But today, she found herself unable to keep the teasing tone from her voice.

"How much longer until we reach Cairhien?" she asked.
Lan glanced at her, his eyes meeting hers, and for a brief moment, there was no one else in the world. "At this pace? A while yet," he replied, his voice low and steady, the faintest hint of amusement there. “Are you eager to get there, Wisdom?”
She raised an eyebrow at him, her lips curling just slightly. "Perhaps. Or perhaps I just enjoy the company"
Lan’s smirk grew. "You enjoy many things," he said with a quiet, teasing edge, knowing full well the effect his words would have.
Nynaeve didn’t immediately reply, but her mouth curved into a small, knowing smile. She could feel his attention on her—could feel the warmth of his gaze even without looking. And despite herself, she felt the flutter again in her chest. She had never been one to admit how easily he could affect her, but the understanding in his presence, made it impossible to ignore.
Her voice growing slightly softer, "What exactly do you mean by that?"
Lan let the silence stretch for a moment, feeling the playful tug in his chest, "That I know the things you enjoy and I enjoy doing them to you."
She was caught off guard, though she quickly masked it with a scoff. "You should learn to keep such things to yourself, Lan Mandragoran," she said, her tone light, but there was an undeniable softness to it that made her words ring with warmth.
Lan didn’t respond immediately, but there was a gleam in his eyes as he glanced toward her again, the lightness in his expression giving way to something deeper. He replied quietly, a faint smile tugging at the corner of his lips. “You never turned me away.”
Nynaeve glanced away, though the hint of a smile lingered on her lips. “I have to keep you on your toes, Lan. Someone has to keep you in line.”
“I wouldn’t have it any other way”, he smiled.

Chapter Text

Lan and the girls continued on their way to Cairhien. A week on horseback had passed since they left Tifans Well. The Warder wasn’t sure how this journey would go between the two women he loved. He knows Nynaeve likes to push buttons and while Moiraine is usually quite in control of her reactions, lately her emotions have been slipping through the cracks and this didn’t sound like a good idea.
Yet, he wanted Nynaeve there. He liked sharing his space with her, he enjoyed her company.
So far Moiraine and Nynaeve have been keeping each other at a comfortable distance. Not enough to create notice, although Lan can sense exactly what’s going on. Moiraine has been spending most of her time with Elayne and Egwene, answering questions about the One Power, describing weaves and power plays.
Nynaeve has been riding with Lan and when there’s a shift in conversations, she joins the younger two girls as Moiraine makes her way to Lan.
“She’s been through the Arches?”, Moiraine asked as she brought her horse up next to his.
“They all have”, he reminded her but his breath caught in his throat just slightly.
She stared at him with knowing eyes, he could feel her questioning him through the bond.
Moiraine knew the second she asked. She felt the same pain in him, even if it was only a shimmer, the same pain at the mention of the Arches that she felt from him the day Nynaeve showed up at Verins.
But Lan wasn’t the one that danced around questions, that was her sign right there that he wasn’t going to talk about it any further. She was stubborn, but he was worse.
She huffed as she rolled her eyes, shaking her head, accepting the fact that whatever Lan was holding back, she wasn’t going to get it out of him.
“Can you find a good spot to break at least? I need to move my legs,” she asked through closed eyes.

“Moiraine Sedai, have you ever used the One Power to secure dinner?”, Elayne asked as she unwrapped the last of her jerky from her pouch.
“Just Moiraine, Elayne”, she said gently, her hand barely touching her arm.
The moment sent a warm chill through the future queen of Andor. For Moiraine to invite Elayne to address her at such a personal level, as an equal, especially for someone so groomed in royal protocol as Elayne, it meant more than it would to someone outside that lifestyle. Moiraine knew as much, which is what made her say it.
The Aes Sedai was not happy when she first realized her niece had gotten tied up with the Dragon Reborn but she quickly realized she had no room for judgment. She had done the same thing at that age, ran from the Tower and the responsibilities of her throne at home, all in the name of the Dragon Reborn.
She sat there by the fire reminiscing on that time, how for a while, she was completely on her own. Before she met Lan, when Siuan was stuck in the Tower and Moiraine was just figuring it out as she went.
She laughed at how naive she was, how stubborn and proud.
She felt Lans concern through the bond as he sat down next to her, bringing her back to the moment.
She smiled at Elayne, “what did you have in mind?”
The girls all started rambling at once over animals to catch and weaving strategies. Lan gently rubbed Moiraines back, he could sense her in her feels as she silently vowed to be everything to these girls that she needed at this stage in her life.

The sun was setting over the hills, its golden rays dancing across their camp.
"You will lay a trap," Moiraine said in her low, measured voice. "Not with nets or snares, but with the One Power."
Egwene nodded, her curiosity deepening, while Elayne raised an elegant brow.
"How does one use the One Power to catch a hare?" Elayne asked, a trace of amusement in her tone.
Moiraine motioned for them to stand and follow her where thick grasses and a few tangled branches seemed to promise the presence of small animals.
"First, we will need to create a path," Moiraine said, turning to Egwene. "Concentrate. Let the One Power flow through you, but do not force it. Use Air to form a gentle breeze, just enough to move the grasses."
Egwene closed her eyes, drawing in a slow breath. She extended her hands, fingers trembling slightly. Her brows pinched in concentration as she reached for the familiar warmth of the Power. The world around her seemed to disappear, and she drew Air into her grip. The threads of the Power weaved through her like threads of gossamer, delicate and fleeting.
With a subtle flick of her fingers, she guided the breeze. The grass shuddered, and a faint ripple moved across the field. The wind was not forceful, just a soft shift, pushing the grasses apart and revealing the earth beneath. It was perfect.
Moiraine’s lips curled into a faint smile of approval. "Good. Now, Elayne, it is your turn. You will need to create an illusion."
Egwene turned to watch, her chest swelling with pride at her own success. She had never been one for easy victories, but there was something deeply satisfying about this, about feeling the One Power hum through her, responding to her will.
Elayne moved with liquid grace. She closed her eyes, breathing deeply, summoning the One Power. With practiced ease, she wove Water and Air together, carefully shaping the flow.
A shimmer of light flickered before her, and the shape of a small rabbit appeared, just beyond the grasses. It was an illusion, a flickering image, but so lifelike.
"This is your bait," Moiraine said, her voice steady and calm. "The rabbit will seem real to any creatures nearby. You are luring them into the trap without them even knowing it."
Egwene and Elayne exchanged glances, their eyes wide with excitement. Neither had seen such a simple yet complex idea of the One Power before.
"And now," Moiraine continued, "we wait. When it’s time to trap you will need to use Earth to create a barrier. Something that will rise up and enclose the path, guiding the creature toward the illusion. But it must be subtle, swift, and precise."
She turned to Egwene first. "Egwene, you will draw upon Earth. Imagine the land rising beneath your fingers, like clay. Shape it into a subtle, narrow wall that will not startle the creature but guide it into your illusion."
Egwene focused. She could feel the earth beneath her fingers as though it were an extension of herself. There was something primal, almost ancient in the feeling as she reached for the earth’s power. She pressed her hands to the soil, and slowly, like a ripple across a calm pond, the earth began to shift. The ground beneath her hands seemed to respond, rising in subtle ridges. The grasses parted just enough to form a narrow edging, directing the creature to the illusion.
The barrier was not visible to the naked eye, but if one were close enough, they could feel the subtle shift in the air, a slight pulse of energy.
"Very good, Egwene," Moiraine said. Her voice was quiet but filled with warm approval. She turned to Elayne, "It is your turn. You will complete the trap. Create a web around the illusion. close off the path, as if you were weaving a net, but do so with ease. You mustn’t let the creature sense any danger."
Elayne’s face went still with concentration. Her hands hovered above the ground, her eyes closed. She drew the One Power into her, weaving Water and Earth, shaping it into a delicate, invisible trap. The barrier rose, trapping the illusion in a web of power, subtle and unbreakable. It was as though the rabbit was caught in an invisible net.
The illusion flickered and then vanished, replaced by a faint sense of satisfaction from both girls. They had done it.
"Well done, both of you," Moiraine said, she didn’t show any signs of approval on her face but Lan could feel it swelling in her. "You have successfully trapped the rabbit without a single snare or string. The key is to remember that the One Power is not just a weapon, it is a way to shape the world around you. In the same way, you may trap a rabbit, you may trap an enemy, or you may free a nation."
The sun dipped lower and the three women remained, standing together in the fading light, with the quiet hum of the One Power still tingling in the air between them.

Chapter Text

The air was cool as the group continued making camp. The moon was not yet full, a waxing gibbous, the kind of moon that feels like it’s watching, waiting.

Moiraine was already sitting when Lan started the fire. He didn’t have to look at her to know how she was feeling. He felt the subtle ache in her back that started that morning and has, over the day, grown into her belly. Lan chalked it up to discomforts from traveling but he kept a close eye on her.

Nynaeve joined Egwene and Elayne as they continued practicing their snare settings with the One Power.

“Lan says we should be there by noon, tomorrow,” Nynaeve informed the girls.

“And what? We’ll just follow Moiraine around until she leads us to Rand?” Egwene questioned.

“Of course not. We’ll find an Inn at the end of town away from where they’re staying and we’ll search for him, ourselves,” Nynaeve stated.

“We’ll search the markets during the day,” Elayne spoke up, “at night, Cairhienins love to throw dinner parties. I’m sure we can find a few if we pay attention. Don’t forget. Everything is a game there, every move has to be well thought out.”

Lan finished setting up the fire and sat down next to Moiraine. To the others she appeared to be reading and resting but Lan knew better. He could see her staring at the page but she wasn’t taking anything in. She was lost in thought, trying to focus on anything but the aches in her body.

The feeling of Lan checking on her through the bond brought her back to the moment. She looked at him with a pained expression.

“What do you need?” Lan asked gently.

“A warm bath and an actual bed,” she smirked back.

“Soon,” he leaned over and kissed her brow. “I just need you to take it easy until then.”

She nodded, leaning her head against his shoulder while closing her eyes. “Keep an eye on them. They hold more power than they realize. One wrong weave can end in ruin if they aren’t careful.”

Moiraine woke with first light and silently pouted when she discovered her aches have only gotten worse. Lans hand was on the small of her back before she even opened her eyes.

“You should try to get more rest while the girls are still sleeping,” Lan gently suggested.

“Wake them, we have wasted enough time already,” Moiraine snapped, the irritation evident in her voice.

Lan stayed at her side, rubbing small swirls on her back, pumping the bond full of love and comfort. He felt her starting to cool, “I’m sorry… I just want to be there already. Lan, Im just so exhausted.”

He knew how tired she was. He noticed the second her discomfort started yesterday and how over the day it grew into an actual pain.

“We’ll have you in a bath and bed by sundown,” Lan responded.

Moiraine looked hopeful, “Is that a promise, Gaidin?”

The group split off before entering Cairhien. Moiraine advised the girls to keep a low profile in the city, telling them to keep their rings hidden, “don’t let people know you hold power unless you absolutely have to.”

Moiraine and Lan made their way through the streets of Cairhien to Damodred Manor. It hadn’t changed at all since she last walked its halls. A house of duty rather than a home of comfort.

A wave of nausea washed over the Aea Sedai as they handed their horses over to the stable boy. Lan sensed her anxiety and tried to distract her, “Let’s work on getting you a new dress while we’re here.”

“Is it obvious now?” she asks, looking down, smoothing her dress over with her hand. Moiraine had been wearing the same riding dress since they left Arafel. Alanna weaved the One Power into it to conceal her growing belly. But now at six months, the dress barely zips.

“Only to me… every time you try to take a deep breath but can’t,” Lan said with a knowing look.

“Are you ready?” she asked as they reached the steps.

“Are you?” he countered.

Moiraine shook her head as she tried to take another deep breath but failed. Lan offered her his arm and she took it, walking up to the entrance together.

The front doors open before they reached the top of the stoop and the butler rushed out to greet them.

“Jonas,” Moiraine smiled softly.

“My Lady, Light shine on your return.”

Moiraine turned to her Warder. “Lan, this is Jonas. He’s been with my family since before I was born. Jonas, this is Lan Mandragoran of Malkier,” she said, gripping his arm as another wave of nausea washed over her.

The men shook hands then made their way through the hallways. Jonas brought them to the parlor where Moiraines sister and nephew were discussing dinner plans.

“I hate to interrupt, Lady Anvaere, but y…” he started.

“Moiraine!” Anvaere proclaimed.

“You look well, little sister,” Moiraine replied.

“You look horrible!” Anvaere said immediately. “Honestly Moiraine, if you’d written ahead, we could’ve prepared…

“I don’t mean to cause you trouble. We’ve stables our horses and will use my old room if it’s open,” Moiraine interrupted before turning her attention back to the butler, “Jonas, I need a dress ordered from…”

“It’s been decades, Moiraine, sit!” Anvaere yelled.

The bond flared in pain, low and pulsing. Moiraine took a slow breath. Her anxiety was skyrocketing.

Lan knew better than to intervene in her family affairs but he had to do something to ground her. He gently placed his hand on hers and sent a wave of comfort through the bond.

“It’s lunchtime, you’ll feel better after you eat,” Anvaere commanded.

“Perhaps later. There are things I must see to first,” Moiraine answered as she closed Lans hand in hers and quickly exited the room.

Moiraine took off down the hallway trying to catch her breath, shaking with adrenaline from the conversation with her sister.

Lan caught up to her and grabbed her, pulling her into him, making her pause for a moment. She was still shaking, breathing as best as she could.

With his arms already around her he gently unzipped her dress a few inches. Not enough to cause it to fall but just enough for her to take a deep breath.

He breathed with her until she felt ready then draped his cloak over her exposed back.

“Bath time?” he finally asked.

“Please,” she whispered.

Lans hand rested on her lower back as they walked, he knew his warmth acted as a heating source for her when she was sore and hurting and he was happy to offer her this small comfort.

Chapter Text

Moiraine opened the door to her old room and invited Lan in. The room was large but not threatening, though Moiraine did mention her bathroom had a two person tub in it. The pale stone walls were softened by deep blue tapestries embroidered with the Damodred Sunburst. The bed was canopied, posts carved with ivy. The room felt like a frozen memory. There was a stillness to it. Not peaceful, but heavy. And yet, beneath it all, there were signs of who she had been. The dollhouse her mother wanted to get rid of the moment name day came but Moiraine held on to it. The way her books were organized, just right. The abundance of pillows for the days during her childhood where she would just lay in bed all day, reading and day dreaming.

She sat on the bed, trying to get comfortable. Lan sat down beside her, gently lifting her feet so he could remove her boots. The bond pulsed with the ache of her back and belly.

“I don’t like how you’re feeling,” Lan said in a low voice.

“Neither do I,” she confessed.

He helped her stand, gently guiding her towards the bath. She undressed slowly. Lan kept his eyes respectfully away. He had seen her bleeding, he had see her sick and had seen her naked. But at six months pregnant, this kind of vulnerability was different. She stepped into the tub and he studied her face as she sank lower into the water. A sigh escaped her lips, half relief, half pain. He felt the bond between them soften. The aches dulled, though not entirely. The heat helped, the warmth of the water carrying away some of the weight of the journey.

Moiraine closed her eyes, her breath evened out slightly as the warmth seeped into her limbs. The silence stretched, but not uncomfortably. Lan sat beside the tub, his fingers trailing just along the edge. He felt her in every breath through the bond, she radiated exhaustion.

Her voice was quiet when she spoke, “You’re allowed to rest, you know”.

“So are you”, he glanced her way.

She opened her eyes slowly and met his glance, “Will you join me?”

Land stood without answering, but begin to untuck his shirt. His clothes fell away, one piece at a time. When he stepped into the water Moiraine made space for him. He settled in behind her, pulling her back against his chest. She fit there like she has always been meant to. His arms came around her instinctively, one over the curve of her stomach and the other resting just beneath the water, steadying her waist as she breathed.

She sighed, long and deep, letting her head fall back to his shoulder. For a long time they didn’t speak. Lan felt the anxiety melting away and her body starting to relax.

“I use to dream of this tub when I first left home,” she whispered.

“I can see why,” he responded with a kiss on top her head.

Moiraines hand found his beneath the surface, her fingers twisting with his, “Thank you for being here.”

“There’s nowhere else I’d rather be,” he replied.

The afternoon stretched and Moiraine had grown quiet in his arms, her breath soft, and even. If Lan didn’t know any better, he would have thought she fallen asleep.

Suddenly a ripple moved beneath his palm, catching Moiraine off guard, letting her mask slip off her thoughts about Rand.

He felt it.

“Moiraine,” Lan called, gently.

She hummed an acknowledgment.

“What’s our plan?” he asked.

She turned slightly, just enough to rest her cheek against his collarbone, “I’ve had word from my eyes and ears, Rand spotted at several Noble Families parties and always with the same beautiful woman.”

“You think it’s one of the Forsaken,” he stated.

“It could be but I’m not certain and one wouldn’t know until it was too late. Forsaken or not, it’s too dangerous for Rand. He placed his piece on the game board just by coming here.” she explained.

“You’re in no condition to play Daes Dae’mar.” Lan replied.

She didn’t argue. That, more than anything, alarmed him.

“I only need to find him,” she said before continuing in comfortable silence.

Moiraine was nearly asleep when a faint but undeniable growl came from her stomach.

Lan whispered into her ear, “Stay here. Don’t drown,”
“No promises,” she answered without moving.
Lan stepped out of the tub, careful not to disturb the water too much and wrapped a towel around his waist. He crossed the room in silence and slipped out into the hallway.

The manor was still, late in the day but not late enough for the dinner crew to begin preparing their meal.

Down in the kitchen wing, Jonas was preparing tea. The old man looked up, startled just slightly. Then his eyes softened.

"My Lord," he said. "Is she all right?"

"She's resting," Lan answered, then added, "She’s hungry."

Jonas's brows lifted with mild amusement. "Is she now? Well, that's a rare admission."

Lan smirked faintly. "She didn't admit it."

"Of course she didn't," Jonas chuckled, turning to the pantry. “I've served her since she was a child and, as I’m sure you’ve discovered about our lady, she doesn’t always eat when she must. But there was one treat that could always get her to eat."

From the back shelf, Jonas pulled a small tin box and opened it with a soft click.

Inside, neatly stacked and wrapped in linen, were delicate almond pastries. Light, crisp, sweet with a touch of honey.

"She used to sneak these under the library table," Jonas said with a warm smile. "Got crumbs all over her books. Didn't care."

Lan took the tin gently, his voice low, "Thank you."
Jonas nodded, "Light watch over her, my Lord, and you”.

Chapter Text

Lan returned from the kitchen, carrying a tray with tea and the tin of pastries. He found a letter at the door when he walked in. An invitation from Anvaere for the two of them.

Moiraine stood in the bathroom doorway, drying her hair with a towel, her silk robe clinging to her damp skin. Lan couldn’t help but notice how much her silhouette has changed. Slowly the lines of her body had softened and rounded. Her belly, obvious now beneath the blue robe, hips fuller, breasts heavier.

Lan held up the letter, “We’re invited to a dinner party tonight by your sister.”

He knew the last thing she wanted to do was go to a party but they came to Cairhien for a reason, to find Rand and Moiraine already mentioned Rand being spotted at these dinners.

She joined him at the desk where he placed the tray, eyes widening when they spotted the tin of her favorite pastries.

“Do we have time for a nap first?” Moiraine questioned, her voice full of hope.

“We have time,” Lan smiled.

Moiraine paced her closet, surrounded by a collection of silks and lace. Dresses were draped all around. Over chairs, spilling from open trunks and yet she couldn’t find anything that agreed with her growing body. The navy dress clung too tightly across her belly, the indigo one too revealing of her swollen breasts, the royal blue dress was just not soft enough for her liking…

Lan sat at the writing desk across the room reading his medical journals, but kept an eye on her. The bond pulsed with her discomfort, a steady throb of pain. He didn’t say anything at first. Moiraine didn’t like being hovered over, but he felt the ache as if it were his own. He noticed the way she moved slower, how her hand kept brushing her belly, unconsciously, as if trying to soothe it.

“You really only own blue,” he said more as a statement than a question, trying to distract her.

Moiraine turned to look at him. “I own every shade of blue,” she said in amusement then turned back to gaze into her closet.

“I use to sit in here as a child, when all I wanted to do was escape. Before I even understood how to channel I could weave water sounds, I would lay in here staring at the sea of blue, listening to rain, waves, ripples. One of the only comforts I remember growing up here.”

Lan had stepped closer and was at her side now, gently placing a hand on her shoulder for comfort. Moiraine had been getting more emotional and reminiscent lately, but it still catches him by surprise when it happens.

“What about this one?” Lan reached in, pulling a darker blue gown with pearl clasps along the spine.

“Your… curves… would be lost in the layers and the color goes with your eyes. Let me help.”

Lan helped her into the dress, his fingers careful as he fastened the clasps and stepped back, “You look beautiful,” he said softly.

She rolled her eyes, “I look exhausted.”

“Yes,” he agreed, leaning his head towards her, “but still beautiful.”

She smiled at that, just a little. Her hand moved to her belly again, a thread of discomfort swept through her, this one worse than before. Lan felt it, the way her whole body tensed. He caught her elbow to steady her.

“It’s stronger than before,” he said in a low voice.

“I’ll be fine,” Moiraine confessed.

“We don’t know that. I can feel it getting worse. We shouldn’t be going tonight”.

“We have to,” she said. “We have to find him.”

Lan didn’t argue, he just reached out for her hand, pressed it to his cheek, as if trying to steal her pain through the bond. “Then we’ll find him. But if this continues to get worse, I’m getting you out of there.”

The pair walked into the great hall, surrounded by nobles and royals, alike. They slipped slowly through the room, their eyes scanning every face. Every step Moiraine took sent a silent ripple of pain through the bond. It was building, rising in her belly like a tide.

Lan moved closer, about to pull her too the side when he felt her alarm. He looked up to see what caused it.

Rand moved through the crowd like a cool breeze but that was not the reason for Moiraines concern, it was the women whos arm was around his.

“Is that…?” Lan started to whisper.

“Lanfear… one of the most dangerous… of the Forsaken”, Moiraine said through breaths.

Lan knew she had to sit down and brought her to a table at the opposite end of the room from Rand. Watching as he and the Forsaken mingled with different guests.

“They’re working together,” Moiraine said. “Look how he moves, how he answers. He’s countering her.”

“Daes Dae’mar?” he asked.

“Yes,” she replied after a deep breath. “But perhaps he doesn’t know exactly what he’s playing. He looks too comfortable with her to know that she is a Forsaken… Lan, we need to get him away from her.”

Another stab of pain hit her. This one made her flinch, only slightly, but Lan sensed it. Before he could say anything, another wave washed over her. Her fingers dug into his arm.“We need to get you out of here,” he demanded.

They were making their way out of the hall when a pair of faces caught Moiraines eye, “Lan, wait.” Down the corridor were Elayne and Egwene, dressed as servants, carrying pitchers to refill wine glasses.

Egwenes eyes widened as she saw the Aes Sedai. She grabbed Elayne by the wrist and ran over to them.
“No way! We found him first, you can’t take him!” Egwene proclaimed.

“None of us can take him with that woman by his side,” Moiraine informed them.

“Do not approach him unless he is on his own… She is dangerous.”

“She’s breathtaking,” Elayne gushed.

“That is Lanfear, one of the Forsaken. Ishamael must of set her free and Light knows how many others.”

The girls exchanged worried looks.

“She must have him under a spell,” Egwene whispered.

“Compulsion is possi…” Moiraine gasped before she could finish. Lan placed a hand on her back to steady her.

“Keep an eye on him for now, he seems to be safe enough.”

“You’re leaving?” Elayne asked.

“I’ve found him… which was my only task for tonight. There’s nothing else I can accomplish with her here. We don’t all need to keep watch. You two can handle this well enough,” she said with a small smile before she turned towards the door.

Lan followed behind Moiraine but stopped at Egwene as he passed her, “Where’s Nynaeve?”

“She stayed at the Inn, called this a fools mission,” she explained.

Lan knocked on the door, the full moon filling the sky above him. Nynaeve answered, her smile quickly turning upsidedown when she noticed Moiraine just behind him. She took in the Aes Sedais pained expression.

“What’s wrong with her?” she asked while inviting them inside.

“I was hoping you could tell me,” the worry ringing in his voice.

“You want me to help her?” she whispered to him.

“You would be helping me,” he explained.

Of course he came to her, she’s a Wisdom. But why does it have to be for this woman? Nynaeve thought of all the different reasons she shouldn’t help the Aes Sedai.

“Please?” Lan plead.

“You couldn’t ask Egwene… or Elayne?” she spat back.

“I told you she wouldn’t do it,” Moiraine said aloud as she headed towards the door.

“I didn’t say I wouldn’t do it!” Nynaeve yelled then took a second to compose herself. “I was simply asking why it had to be me.”

The Wisdom walked over to the Moiraine but refused to meet her eye, “I suppose I can try.”

“You’ve never delv’d before?” she asked in surprise.

She knew Nynaeve had a hard time calling on her power but delving was one of the basics they were taught as novices.

“I have not,” Nynaeve huffed.

“May I show you?” Moiraine asked, her voice soft, warm.

The Wisdom only nodded.

The bond thrummed with concern from Lan. Moiraine had decided months ago not to touch the One Power while pregnant. She was worried that, if the child were a boy, each time she touched the source it would taint him, turning him to the shadow before he were even born.

Moiraine gave him a knowing look, telling him through the bond that it was fine. He didn’t like it but he allowed it.

Moiraine closed her eyes, drawing on the Source. Lan felt as the Power started to course though her. She tingled. Making her feel more alive but also making her aches more intense.

Moiraine moved slowly, drawing on Air and Spirit, laying out each thread, one by one for Nynaeve to copy.

It felt nice, the One Power in her veins. It had been so long since she felt it.

Nynaeve watched each weave, studied the way the Aes Sedai moved and called on the source herself.

Moiraine let go as she saw Nynaeve picking it up. Lan placed a hand at her back to catch her, she hadn’t touched the source in months and clearly didn’t realize how quickly it would tire her.

Nynaeve closed her eyes as she started to sense Moiraine. The exhaustion. The soreness in her legs, her feet. The most prominent pain was the throbbing in her belly and back. She felt a pulse of pain move through the Aes Sedai, a tightening of her abdomen like a hand gripping it and squeezing.

Lan never took his eyes off the women and started rubbing Moiraines lower back as the throbbing grew more intense.

“Moon Labor!” Nynaeve exclaimed. “It’s just Moon Labor.”

Moiraine looked to Lan for explanation. While she had been studying prophecy he had been working on his medical journal. Collecting all the knowledge he could on pregnancy and childbirth for when he would need it.

He tried to get her to read it a few times, she couldn’t act less interested.

“Moon Labor… uh… when a full moon causes your body to experience labor symptoms?” he turned to Nynaeve for confirmation.

“Correct!” she beamed with pride towards him.

“Although the pain is real, the labor is not.”

The Aes Sedai and Warder stared at eachother in silence. Nynaeve knew they were communicating through the bond, she walked to the kettle to break the awkwardness.

“I know a tea to help with the pain,” she said with her back to her guests.

Suddenly she felt Lans hands on her arms and she sank into it.

“Thank you,” Lan whispered in her ear as he wrapped her in a hug.

She turned around to face him, wrapping her arms around his neck, “I’m a Wisdom. It’s what I do.”

For a brief moment she considered thanking Moiraine. Many had tried teaching her delving in the Tower but none laid it out for her the way Moiraine did. Showing her each thread of the weave.

She decided against it. She didn’t want the Aes Sedai reading into it, thinking it meant they were becoming friends or some other fool notion like that.

Chapter Text

The late morning light peeked through the heavy velvet curtains, dust danced in the sunbeams. Lan sat at the desk, a book balanced in his lap. He was trying to read, but his eyes kept drifting over to Moiraine. He watched the soft rise and fall of her breathing, her tangled hair across the pillow, the way her hand rested on her belly subconsciously.

The bond between them hummed low and steady with warmth, no longer laced with pain like yesterday. The Moon Labor lasted as long as the full moon did and Moiraine had been sleeping from the moment it stopped, as if the Pattern itself finally granted her peace.

Lan turned the page without even reading it. He had a lot on his mind. Well, two things. Two women. Moiraine and Nynaeve. Now that he knew Moiraine was going to be okay he could focus on the Wisdom, what she saw in the Arches. He never asked for the details. He wasn't sure he wanted to know. But now it was all he could think about.

A shift in the bond pulled him from his thoughts. Drowsy awareness, soft like a sigh.

A stretch beneath the covers, a faint groan, and a voice weak with sleep.

"I just want to lay here all day," Moiraine mumbled into the pillow.

Lan smiled before he could stop himself.

"You've slept through breakfast. And you're about to miss lunch."

"I'll live." She cracked one eye open. "Unless you plan to make me get up."

"Wouldn't dare.”

Moiraine rolled onto her back with a dramatic flop. She turned her head toward him slowly, eyes soft, voice quieter now.

"It's stopped."

He nodded. "I know."

"I didn't think it would end. It just kept getting worse... I thought it might break me,” she looked at him wild eyes.

"You don't break,” he whispered.

A faint smile tugged at her lips. "That's very kind. Completely untrue, but kind."

He stood, setting the book down, and crossed to sit on the edge of the bed.

"You don't break, Moiraine. You endure."

Her hand reached out blindly for his. She squeezed once, then let it rest there.

"I might still stay in bed all day," she said, voice lighter now.

"That's allowed," he said. "If you want, l'll bring your lunch here. Even sneak some more of those cookies you love in the tins."

She narrowed her eyes. "You know where those are?"

Lan gave her a smug little shrug. "I have resources."

Moiraine let out a soft laugh and closed her eyes again, fingers still curled around his.

Jonas came and collected the lunch trays, closing the door on his way out. Moiraine fell back into her pillow.

Lan turned to her, “You really have nothing planned today? What about the girls? We should see what they learned about Rand, Lanfear.”

“All I’m interested in today is finding a book to lay in bed with,” she expressed. “I don’t think she will harm him, not yet… Yesterday was too much for me, Lan. I need a day of rest.”

He didn’t answer. She could sense how distant he kept himself in the bond, something he rarely did. That was more Moiraines way of dealing with things and he hated it.

She felt something in him kept tight, keeping his thoughts turned inward. He masked it well but not well enough. His gaze lingered a bit too long, and the bond prickled. Moiraine caught a flicker, hesitation, sorrow, love twisted with fear. That same pain she felt from him the day Nynaeve showed up at Tifans Well and when she mentioned her going through the Arches.

She kept her features soft, as though she hadn’t noticed anything.

“If you want to go to her, then go,” Moiraine added, not needing to say who.

She looked at him with sad eyes, reached out her hand and grabbed his.

“I know you carry a weight you don’t want me to feel. And I understand… but don’t let it fester. Speak on it before it’s too late.”

She kissed above his eyebrow before sliding off the bed and walking towards her bookshelves.

Lan watched after her then stood up and slipped out the door without saying any word.

He walked through the streets of Cairhien like a ghost. Silent, swift, and half aware of the world around him. His boots made no sound on the stone road. Not that it mattered. No one saw him, no one ever did, unless he wanted to be seen.

His thoughts went back to Moiraine as he turned off her street. The bond between them was quiet, muffled. She was hiding something, that much he knew. She’d always been skilled at masking her thoughts, but after so many years, he could feel the edges of her intention like ripples in water. She was waiting for him to leave. Something she was anxious to get to but didn’t want a witness.

And beneath that was the child. He never thought deeply on it. Only that it was Moiraine‘s child, a child he already held so much love for. But now in the privacy of his own mind, his thoughts couldn’t help but reach deep. The child growing in his Aes Sedais womb was not created from love but he would make sure it would be born into it.

“She looks just like her,” Nynaeve words repeated in his head. “Two years passed and not one mention of Moiraine.”

The words stung.

He reached the edge of the city without realizing how far he’d come. The Inn where the girls stayed stood just outside the outer ring. He lingered at the door for a moment, then knocked.

Naynaeve opened it, sleeves rolled to her elbows.

“Lan,” she said, surprise flickering in her voice. “How is she?”

“Better. The pain is gone and she’s been resting all day… Thank you,” he said with a small smile.

He leaned in closer, “Can we talk?”

Her eyes narrowed as she leaned in to meet him, “We are talking.”

“Not here,” he said, glancing past her.

Inside Egwene and Elaine were bent over the table, studying something.

Her expression softened slightly, “let me grab my coat.”

They walked in silence for a length then Nynaeve spoke first.

“Did the pain get much worse?”

“Not quite unbearable, but close,” Lan admitted.

“It will get stronger with each new moon…” she replied.

“I’ll make a note of that,” he said then added, “The child hasn’t moved since yesterday. Should I be concerned?”

“You said Moiraine has slept most the day, I image the babe needs the rest just as much, if not more,” she said softly.

“Give it time.” She placed a hand on his cheek, “You worry more than you use to”.

“I sleep less, so I have more time,” he said, leaning into her touch.

He took her hand in his and pressed it to his lips then with a deep breath, he looked her in the eye, “I need you to tell me everything you noticed in the Arches.”

Her stomach twisted in knots, she knew he would come back to talk about it when he was ready. She hated Moiraine for ruining her vision. The vision of a future with the man that she loved. A future where they raised a daughter. It was everything she’s ever wanted.

But it’s not a happy ending. Because of Moiraine.

Nynaeve knows Lan couldn’t be happy without her. That he couldn’t imagine a life without him by her side.

She knows that it hurts him to hear that his Aes Sedai isn’t there. That it hurts him more that she can’t tell him if it’s real or not.

It felt real, it felt natural. Life with him. With the girl. She loved and cared for that child as if she were her own. The child was well aware Nynaeve was not her mum but she loved her as you would the mother figure in your life.

“Everything I noticed?” she finally responded.

“You said there was no sight of her but what about letters? Did I ever leave? Were there visitors that could have brought word of her to me?” his words were hard and desperate.

“You received letters, and you would leave for trips on occasion. Come back with gifts from Siuan,” she remembered. “But you never mentioned her after any of it”.

“It doesn’t mean she wasn’t there”, he thought aloud.

They continued walking together, Nynaeve leaving Lan room for his thoughts.

Finally she asked, “Are you going to tell her?”

“I wouldn’t know what to say”, he confessed. “But she should know.”

Chapter Text

Moiraine waited till she sensed Lan turn down the street before she really started searching for the book. She had first stumbled on it during one of her late nights in the library before she left home for the Tower. It was old and faded. The spine was torn and crumbling. Written completely in the Old Tounge. She had just started her studies in the ancient language and she used the book to practice. She kept it hidden though, anything written in the Old Tongue was not something that one just left laying around. She was never able to decipher the whole thing, but there were bits and pieces that have haunted her over the years while searching for the Dragon Reborn. She never imagined that the words she read so many years ago, could’ve possibly been written about her and a child that she would bring into this world.

She shuttered at the thought.

Moiraine was fluent in the language now and would be able to understand the whole thing, if only she could remember where she hid it.

The baby shifted under her skin, she let it go unnoticed. She was starting to get annoyed, it wasn’t the book that irritated her, it was the silence. The crushing weight of her own thoughts closing in again, like they always did when she was alone in them for too long.

The book wasn’t with the rest on the shelf so she checked all her usual hiding spots. The secret drawer under her dollhouse, a hidden pocket behind the mirror, the floorboard next to her closet that lifted if you knew where to press. She finally sat down at the foot of the bed in defeat.

The baby shifted again and this time, Moiraine let herself experience it. Not a kick. Something slower, more aware. As if it could feel her tension. She closed her eyes, letting her fingers press lightly against the slow motion beneath her ribs.

She could count on one hand how many times she actually held her belly. She tried not to, never wanting to bring attention to her growing body and even when it was just her and Lan, she made a habit of ignoring it. The first time she ever placed her hand there was when she had Lans hand in hers. When she finally told him what happened at the Eye of the World. When she tried pushing him away so he wouldn’t get dragged into her mess, but he would never leave her.

The next was when she felt the first flutters. It was after the Fade attack, again Lans hand was with hers though he didn’t know it at the time. He was still unconscious and Moiraine had pulled herself up in front of him on Mandarb, wrapping his arm around her waist to help hold him up. She didn’t count all the times she touched it yesterday, her hand wouldn’t had been there if it weren’t for the moon labor.

This time, it was only her and the child.

Breathe, Moiraine.

She doesn’t say it aloud. The walls here have heard enough confessions. Lan would tell her to take a breath. Siuan would demand answers. She has neither now. Only silence and the gnawing thought that some things, once set in motion, cannot be stopped.

Her hand followed the curve of her belly. Warm. Solid. Real. Too real.

She never wanted this. Never wanted any of this. Not prophecy. Not motherhood. Not the slow erosion of everything she built around herself like armor. She doesn’t even know what a mother is supposed to be. Her own had been stiff and sharp, a woman who saw daughters as pawns of a bigger game.

What could she possibly offer this child? Protection? Perhaps. Clarity? Doubtful. Love?
She bites down the sting behind her eyes. A tear would be too much. A crack in the dam.

“That’s it!” she exclaimed, aloud.

Moiraine jumped up and practically skipped to the bookshelves. She remembers now, weaving the book to look like another. When she found it, it was with a collection of Aquatic books and she weaved it to blend in.

“Ah ha!” she announced as she spotted it on the top shelf. As a child, and even a teen, she would climb the shelves to reach the top. One day her mother caught her and whipped her for such unladylike behavior. It didn’t stop her from climbing, just motivated her to do it without getting caught.

She looked up at that top shelf, wanting nothing more than to climb her way up.

A gentle reminder moved under the palm still resting on her middle.

The desk chair creaked as she dragged it across the floor, its legs catching on the rug. She stepped up with care, one hand braced on the shelf below for balance. Her center of gravity was no longer what it once had been, but she wasn’t about to call for help. Not over a book.

Moiraine reached upward, the edge of the shelf pressing uncomfortably into her belly, fingertips barely reached the spine. She bit her lip and stretched further, pushing past the ache in her ribs. The baby kicked against the shelf, perhaps in protest, and her foot slipped.

She gasped, catching the edge of the case with both hands. The book fell, landing with a heavy thump on the floor below. She stood frozen for a breathless moment, one hand clutching her stomach.

Pain flared across her belly, a deep, pulsing ache.

She eased herself down from the chair, being cautious with her movements. The bruise forming along the curve of her belly was already beginning to ache, but she ignored it. Instead, she picked up the fallen book, brushing off the dust.

Its hardcover was a soothing seafoam green, like calm ocean waters. The title was embossed in a sleek, silver font, centered and slightly raised, catching the light when tilted. Subtle wave-like patterns ripple across the background. The spine was clean and minimal. Inside, the pages were a soft cream with delicate illustrations of marine life lining the chapter headings.

She closed her eyes.

The Wheel weaves as the Wheel wills.

She breathed in, and with a whisper of thought, the Source opened to her.

Gently, she began to unweave.

As the threads dissolved, ink shifted, shimmered, revealing the old, faded red book with a crumbling spine. The dry letters melted away, unraveling words older than kingdoms, glowing faintly on the page in the script of the Old Tongue.

She took a breath, flipped it to the middle, where she read all those years ago and then began:

A Dragon born of the sun, raised of the towers,
will come when ice and fire merge.
Born not of love but of purpose,
of light and of darkness.
A dragon to join the other or defeat him.
Of fallen royalty in bloodline and being.
Two dragons shall dance while one births another,
stealing the breath of an elder as its own.

She dropped to her knees and let herself cry out, without grace, without restraint. Just a woman alone in her childhood room, fearing for the world. Fearing her child it’s self.

Lan was already on his way back, stopping at the carts of dried fruit. Moiraine had been craving dried mango for days, though she’d never admit it aloud. He placed a silver mark into the calloused hand of the fruit-seller when the bond had surged with a sharp stab of pain, deep and low, radiating from Moiraine's abdomen. She was hurt.

The crowd parted before him as he moved, weaving between peddlers and townsfolk. His hand dropped to the hilt of his sword without thought.

Lan sensed as the Power started to course through her.

She hadn’t touched the Source in months, by her own will, her own fear. Her silence on it had been more telling than any words. But she allowed herself to show Nynaeve delving yesterday, what could be the reason today?

He moved faster.

“What are you doing, Moiraine?” he thought fiercely, as if willing her to hear him would make her stop. He knew how much it cost her not to reach for saidar in her condition. To deny her very nature.

The bond hummed with anticipation. Beneath it, growing anxiety. And then, like water rushing from a broken dam, fear.

People blurred past, but he didn’t slow. His boots hitting the stone streets pounded in his ears.

He arrived at her estate, sweating and worried. He didn’t knock. He was through the door, past startled servants, climbing the staircase two at a time.

He swung opened the door and there she sat, book open before her, light from the fireplace dancing across the page.

She didn’t hear Lan’s footsteps in the hall, but she felt the bond stir before the door even opened.

He stepped into the room, his eyes moved from her face to the book, then to the way her hand didn’t leave her belly.

He didn’t say anything right away. But she felt it, the flare of alarm, of protectiveness sharpened by guilt. She’d hidden the worst of it behind her Aes Sedai calm, but not from him. She could never completely hide things from him.

“What happened?” he asked quietly, crossing to her in two strides.

“I slipped,” she said, still not looking at him. “I was reaching for a book.”

He sat beside her, his hand coming to rest gently on her knee. “Moiraine…”

“I’m all right.” Moiraine recited.

His jaw clenched. “You should have waited for me.”

“I’ve never been very good at waiting,” she confessed, softly.

Lan’s hand moved from her knee to her stomach, fingers spreading across the soft curve of her belly. The child shifted beneath his touch and through the bond, it was a strange sensation sensing it all at the same time.

He also felt her pain. Faint, dull, but there. And the flicker of fear she was trying so hard to keep buried.

“You have to be more careful,” he said, voice low. “There’s more than just you, you need to think about.”

Lan held her gently, one arm around her shoulders, the other hand still resting on her belly. The room had grown dimmer as the sun dipped lower, the last of the golden light danced across the floorboards. Neither of them moved.

There was something hanging between them, something neither had spoken aloud. But the weight of it was there in the bond, pressing heavy.

Moiraine was the first to speak.
“You’re hiding something,” she said, voice quiet.

Lan didn’t deny it.
“So are you,” he replied.

A long silence. The only sound was the rustle of her robe as she shifted, just enough to lean into him more fully. Her cheek rested against his shoulder.

Lan drew in a slow breath, “Nynaeve told me what she saw in the Arches.”

Moiraine didn’t speak but he felt her focus sharpen through the bond.

“She saw… a little girl. With your eyes. With your curls. She called me father…” He stopped.

Moiraine lifted her head slightly, her hand unconsciously moving across her belly, he felt her heart tug at his last confession.

“And?” she finally asked.

His gaze dropped. His voice dropped even lower. “And… You weren’t there.”

The words hung in the air.
Lan didn’t look at her but continued. “Two years passed with no word of you.”

Moiraine was still for a long time. And then, quietly, gently, “I know.”

The bond tightened. Lan felt it like a blade between his ribs. A single phrase. No panic. No shock. No argument. Just the quiet, steady knowledge of someone who had already accepted what might come.

“The prophecy?” he asked.

She nodded but didn’t answer, not with words. He felt the tremble through the bond.

The silence between them stretched, not awkward, not cold. As if words were choosing their moment carefully.

Moiraine left her fingers still laced with his. He felt the hesitation rise in her before she spoke.

“I found a prophecy in an old translation.” Her voice was steady, but the bond quivered faintly beneath. “It spoke of a child born of light and darkness.”

Lan didn’t interrupt. He knew better.

“Two dragons shall dance while one births another, stealing the breath of an elder...” She paused.

Moiraine turned her head, looking up at him. Her voice was quieter now.

“Lan… I don’t know what it means but I do not think I’ll survive the birth.”

There was no self-pity in her voice. No drama. Just fact. She had already accepted it, folded it into herself, wrapped it in silk and kept it close.

But the words hit Lan like a blade. And the bond flared, fear, denial, grief so sudden and deep it staggered him. His fingers tightened around hers.

“No.” It came out harsh, too sharp. “No. You don’t know that.”

“I don’t know for certain,” she said gently. “But, Lan, I think that I do.”

His hand wiped a tear from her cheek, holding her face as if it would break him to let go. “You’ve already given too much.”

“And I’ll give this too,” she whispered. “If I must.”

The bond hummed with everything he couldn’t say, everything he wouldn’t accept. Not yet. Maybe not ever.

For now, he wrapped his arms around her and held her like he could keep time itself at bay, just a little longer.

And she let him.

Chapter Text

The next morning they woke to a steady knocking on their door.

“Moiraine, you are going to have to talk to me eventually!” Anvaere rang out.

Moiraine groaned as she tried sitting up in bed. Lan had to push her up the rest of the way. She thought it was annoying, he thought it was adorable.

“I got it,” the Warder said as his Aes Sedai rubbed the sleep from her eyes.

He opened the door, staying in the frame,
“Good morning, Anvaere. Moiraine will be down when she…”

“Oh, spare me your formalities, Mandragoran… bloody ashes if she thinks you can stop me, and in my own home!” She shouted as she shoved past Lan into the room.

Moiraine was easing herself into the chair at her desk, picking up the silver brush. Her back was to the door but she could see her sister staring at her through the mirror.

“Must you be so difficult?” Anvaere pressed. She stood straight, lips thin, her chin tilted in that same proud Cairhienin way that had once been their mother’s trademark.

“Must you be so ridiculous? Barging in on me like a child!” Moiraine spat back.

Lan tried to diffuse the situation, “Ladies, perhaps we shall…”

Moiraine snapped at him through the bond to stay out of it the same time Anvaere shouted it, aloud.

“You do not get speak to him that way,” Moiraine said in a low growl.

Lan backed out of the doorway and closed the door behind him. He didn’t need to be in the room to feel the emotion rolling off Moiraine. Irritation, tension and nauseating hunger.

The Aes Sedai took a deep breath. “What do you want from me, little sister?” Moiraine asked, not hiding the irritation in her voice.

“I want you to look at me when I speak to you” she demanded.

Moiraine set down the brush, pushed herself up from the desk and turned slowly towards her sister. She stood tall, shoulders back, head held high with a hand resting gently on her stomach.

Even with a sixth month belly and exhausted, she was radiant.

Anvaere gasped, “Moiraine… you’re pregnant?”

She couldn’t remember the last time she saw her sister as human. It always creeped her out how Moiraine didn’t look a day past 28. But now, even with that unnaturally youthful face, her pregnancy made her look so… normal.

“And if I asked who the father was, would you give me the courtesy of an answer?” Anvaere questioned.

“Lan is the father”, Moiraine answered without hesitating and she felt her Warder soften in the hallway when she spoke the words.

He would be the child’s father in all the ways that mattered.

She walked past her sister, lowering herself to the bed with grace.

Lord Mandragoran. That Anvaere could believe. She knew her sister. Moiraine Damodred did not fall for careless passions. Was not entertained by lords or kingdoms. But Lan was a lord without a kingdom.

Anvaere had kept tabs on her sister throughout the years. Her eyes and ears would bring back stories about Moiraine sinking town ferries, escaping Whitecloaks, saving small mountain villages from armies of Trollics and in every story she heard, Lan was right there with her sister.

There had been decades of loyalty between them, but Anvaere always suspected something deeper.

“I never thought you’d choose the family life. I always thought it would be power, or the Tower, or some grand purpose.”

Moiraine turned to face the window, but her voice was softer now, quite. “Sometimes the choice is made for you.”

“Why didn’t you tell me when you arrived? Unless it’s not good news?” Anvaere lowered her voice, making her way to the edge of the bed.

“I didn’t want to explain myself to someone who has never tried to understand me,” Moiraine insisted.

The silence that followed was deafening as they stared at each other like strangers. Sisters by blood, but little else..

Lan sent waves of comfort and love through the bond.

“I want to understand,” Anvaere said finally. “But every time I try, you make it impossible.”

After several quiet moments, she asked, “Moiraine, what happened to us?”

“People grow apart…” she recited back.

“But we’re family. Family should stick together, after Mother died we could have been…” she started but Moiraine quickly interrupted.

“After Mother died you treated me worse than her!” Moiraine cried out.

“Because you never protected me from her!” the younger sister shouted back.

“I tried,” Moiraine spoke. “Light help me, I tried. I barely made it out of here myself…”

“But you did make it out.” She said shaking her head, “You left be behind and never looked back”.

“I would have taken you with me if I could,” Moiraine whispered.

“And I would have gone. But I stayed and I pressed on.”

“You did well, little sister. Better than I could have done, under the circumstances.”

“I know, and I did it all on my own, no thanks to you.”

Moiraine scoffed as she rose from the bed, bringing her hands to her face as she walked to the fireplace, trying to smooth down her furrowed brows with her fingers.

“You don’t understand what it was like, being the one she pinned all her ambitions to. Every word was a test. Every move had to be calculated.”
Moiraine turned around to face her, “I don’t know what you expect from me, I will not apologize for doing what I had to, to survive.”

“No of course not, an Aes Sedai cannot lie.” Anvaere said while gettting up from the bed, crossing to meet her. “I just want to make sure you know the Damodred name is under my control now. I raised us out of the ashes after Uncles disgrace. I brought honor back to our House. The Cairheinin eyes and ears work for me now. Nothing happens here without me knowing about it. Like the boy you and Lan were following at dinner the other night, you won’t find him unless you ask for my help.”

Moiraine looked at Anvaere in shock. She knew her sister was self sufficient, all that talk about protecting her, she never needed protection. She was just as ruthless as their mother and their mother acted as if Moiraine was her moving target. Anvaere might have gotten her own trauma from their mum but Moiraine always had it worse. As the older sister she was an example and their mother used her as such.

Anvaere learned quickly how to blend into the background unnoticed, lest she ended up in the war path. She turned away, staring out the tall window toward the garden.

“You vanished. Years went by without a letter. Not even when Father died.”

“I didn't know,” Moiraine confessed. “They told me too late. By the time the letter reached the Tower… the burial was over.”

Anvaere faced her again, something raw and terrible in her eyes. “You missed more than that. You missed watching him waste away, trying to hold onto life even when his body failed him. You missed me, Moiraine. You missed everything. I was seventeen and signing trade agreements with merchants three times my age. I was standing alone in the council chambers, pretending I was strong enough to bear the Damodred name.”

The room fell silent again, heavy and aching.

“You think I became cold,” Anvaere said, voice low now. “Like her. Maybe I did. But I learned what she taught us both, power is the only thing that keeps you safe in this world. You learned it with the One Power. I learned it in the Hall of the Lords.”

Moiraine reached for her sister’s arm, but Anvaere pulled away.

“I didn’t forget you,” Moiraine said at last. “I just… I didn’t know how to come back.”

Anvaere studied her for a long, bitter moment. Her voice barely above a whisper, “Then why are you here now?”

Moiraine hesitated, the truth thick in her throat. “Because I… I didn’t know where else to go.”

Anvaere crossed her arms but Moiraine noticed her face go soft. “Does it frighten you? The pregnancy?”

Moiraine looked up, surprised by her sister’s genuine concern. Not an accusation. Not a trap.

“Very much so,” she said, nodding her head.

Lan felt it through the bond, the sudden shift. A flicker of vulnerability behind the usual fortress of her mind. Moiraine rarely allowed fear to reach the surface. When she did, it was never for long.

Anvaere had stepped closer to the fire. “I remember when I was expecting,” she said quietly, “I was terrified I wouldn’t know how to be a mother. Then he arrived and cried for two days straight, and I was too exhausted to think about it anymore, motherhood just happens.”

Moiraine gave her a sad smile before looking down at the ground, trying to get a handle on her emotions.

“You look exhausted already,” Anvaere noted.

Moiraine let out a small breathy laugh, “I am.”

Anvaere walked into the hallway and saw Lan waiting across the hall, “Please forgive my outburst earlier. I did not mean to shout, though I can’t promise it won’t happen again.”

He gave her a gentle nod, letting her turn the corner before he made his way back to Moiraine. She sat at the foot of the bed, hands in her lap.

“She didn’t draw blood,” Lan said softly, coming to her side.

“Not this time,” Moiraine murmured. “Though it’s always close.”

Lan knelt in front of her, his hands resting lightly on her knees, grounding her. Through the bond, her emotions curled around his senses. Tight, frayed at the edges, but steadier now.

“You know, it could be wise to have her on your side,” Lan said as he reached up and gently pushed a loose strand of hair from her face, tucking it behind her ear. She leaned into the touch, he felt the warmth flicker through the bond like a candle lit in the dark.

She shook her head ‘no’, her eyes softened just a little, “I already have you.”

He moved to sit next to her on the bed, his arm wrapping around her as she let herself rest her head against his shoulder.

“She’s throwing another dinner party. Rand and… Lady Selene… will be in attendance,” the Aes Sedai said.

“Lady Selene? So it’s possible he doesn’t know she’s one of the Forsaken?” Lan questioned.

“It’s possible…” she replied, and Lan felt the worry go off in her mind.

“What’s wrong?” he asked gently.

“I’ve already been through that whole closet. I can’t wear the same thing as last night. I don’t think I have anything else that will fit this,” she said in defeat, smoothing a hand over her belly.

He rubbed small circles on her back, “I’m sure we can find you something.”

Chapter Text

Moiraine was sitting on the dock, dress pulled up to her knees, legs swirling in the cool water.

The boy was already running and splashing on the bank when she arrived in The World of Dreams. He looked up at her with a smile that reached both ears.
She watched him, trying to gather the courage to ask him what she was afraid of discovering.

Something caught his eye under the surface and before she knew it he dove into the water then jumped back up, thrusting a trout into the air, arms reaching for the sky. “I did it! I caught it with my own hands!” he exclaimed.

She couldn’t help but smile back at him. “And what will you do with it now, I wonder?”

He gave the fish a good look then brought it close as if whispering something to the creature. He crouched back down and placed his hands in the water, gently releasing it back into the wild.

He ran over to Moiraine, plopping down on the dock next to her, stretched out on his belly facing down towards the water. Dangling his finger tips across the cool surface.

He felt Moiraines eyes on him and looked up, taking a moment to study her. “Why does your face look like that?”

“Like what?” her voice rang with curiosity.

“Like this.” He scrunched his eyebrows together with a puzzling look.

A quiet laugh escaped her lips as she shook her head, “I… I feel as if I know you… but… I don’t know how”

“You know me in the same way I know you,” he looked past her and added, “she knows you too.”

Moiraine felt goosebumps rise on the back of her neck as the child pointed behind her.

She turned to see who the boy was announcing.

Lanfear stood in the shadows besides the hut but the second Moiraine made eye contact with her, she was up in her face.

“Lanfear!” Moiraine said in shock as she grabbed the boy by the collar and pulled him to her.

“You’re protective of him, good. But it won’t be enough.”

“What do you want, Forsaken?”

Lanfear gave a breathy laugh, “would you believe me if I said I wanted the same as you, to protect him from Ishamael?”

Moiraine stared at the boy then back at Lanfear, not saying a word.

“You still have no idea who that is, do you? He said you didn’t recognize him but I thought you would have figured it out by now”

The Aes Sedai looked down to the boy she had clutched at her side. His bright grey-blue eyes full of warmth, looking back at her. His brown curly locks started to lose their color, they were fading to a strawberry blonde.

“Rand?” Moiraine said in disbelief.
The boys smile went even wider.

She spoke to the Forsaken but her eyes never left his face, “I don’t understand…”

Lan knew the second Lanfear entered her dream. He was already starting to worry when he felt Moiraine move from resting to entering The Dream World. She wasn’t getting enough sleep as it was but with Anvaere waking them at sunrise this morning, he was happy when his Aes Sedai asked to go back to bed.

The World of Dreams worried him for many reasons. It’s where Ishamael had been finding Moiraine but also because you’re mind and body is awake there. She went back to bed cause she was exhausted and she would get no rest in Tel’aran’rhiod.

He knew her well. He knew the joy she felt when next to water, how she loves little more than dipping her toes in and watching the fish come kiss the surface.

He could tell the boy was back. Lan had only felt her be protective over two people in her life, Siuan and himself. Once the boy started entering her dreams, he started feel the same protectiveness thrumming from her side of the bond.

And then he sensed the same shock and fear that she felt when they found Rand with Lanfear at the party and his hands turned to fists at the thought.

“I’ve been hiding him from Ishy as best as I can,” Lanfear started. “He’s searching for him in his dreams so I’ve weaved wards to turn Rand into a child whenever he enters The Dream realm. I find it intriguingly interesting that he always runs to you when he senses you here.”

Moiraine listened without saying a word, trying to keep her panic in check.

“But it was with you that brought him under Ishamaels eye. Sure, he doesn’t know it’s Rand, but now he thinks hes his child, your child, and that doesn’t make him any more safe”.

Moiraine continued staring at the child in disbelief, shaking her head trying to make sense of it all.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” she asked the boy.

“He’s his childhood self… in his mind he hasn’t met you yet. But that only lasts here. Once he’s awake he remembers everything that’s happened. He knows Ishamael is looking for him, he knows you are carrying the child of A Chosen One...” she gave her middle a sideways glance then continued, “He won’t remember this conversation though, I’ll see to that. He still sees me as Lady Selene and if you want to keep him safe, you’ll encourage him to do so.”

“You think I’ll lie to him, to get him to do what we want?”

“Yes… to be honest it’s the only thing I like about you”.

”What makes you any different from Ba'alzamon?”

“Ishy is a gentle soul but we want the same things, you and I. To protect him, guide him, get him to The Stone. We both know he needs Callandor if he’s to survive the Last Battle”.

“I think we differ on what side shall survive the battle.”

“Nevertheless, right now we align on keeping Rand alive and that’s what we need to focus on. Ish can’t know I’m protecting him. I can keep him out of your dreams if you keep Rand safe in them.”

Moiraine woke before she could respond. Lan was already at her side, eyes locked on her.
“Lanfear? What happened?” he asked.

She brought her eyes to meet his, “The boy in my dream, it’s Rand, it’s been him this whole time.”

“He’s learned how to enter Tel'aran'rhiod?” he asked, his end of the bond sounding off with questions. He felt Moiraine slowly becoming overwhelmed. With Lanfears information, with his concerns, with her own exhaustion.

“It was all Lanfear, she says she’s been hiding him from The Father of Lies,” she let out a deep sigh, shaking her head, then continued, “I’m afraid she’s trapping me into working with her. She says she’ll protect me from Ishamael if I protect Rand.”

“We cannot trust her,” Lan quickly replied.

“Of course not but, I think we can trust that she doesn’t want Ishamael to find Rand.”

“For now, but she’ll betray us, Moiraine,” caution rang through in his voice.

“Tomorrow maybe but not tonight. I don’t think she will tonight. Go to the girls, though, and fill them in, they need to be ready.”

“I’ll go to them. But you need rest, real rest. If it really is Rand and the child you carry is the girl Nynaeve saw, can’t you ward your dreams long enough to let your body catch up on the sleep it needs?” His end of the bond thrummed with concern for her.

”We cannot be certain what the child is until the time comes, and I don’t want to go back to touching the source for that reason. But I’ll do it for this, for you… just make sure they’re ready.”

Chapter Text

“Get some rest,” Lan said as he gently kissed the top of her head. “I won’t be gone long.”

Moiraine waited until she felt him leave the house before she reached for Saidar. She let herself sit in it for a moment, letting it reach every corner of her. She missed this. The thrill of touching the One Power. The way it made her body feel, she never felt more alive.

But something was different. She couldn’t put a name to it but it felt, off.

She remembered how it felt when she was fighting the Fade and then again when she used it to get her unconscious Warder up on his horse, it felt… wrong.

This wasn’t the same feeling, she no longer felt like she was going mad when embracing it but still, it made her nervous.

She weaved Air and Spirit into a ward and felt it land like a net around her mind, no Forsaken could enter now.

Lans veins tingled as he left the house, letting him know his Aes Sedai was channeling. Light, let her get some rest, he thought to himself. He was proud of her, of how well she was handling everything. It seems like it has just been one thing after another since they arrived in Cairhien. Has it really only been three days?

He arrived at the room the girls were staying and knocked gently. He heard a chair scrap the floor and footsteps approaching.

Elayne opened the door, “Lan,” she said in shock, “What are you doing here?” She looked behind him nervously, obviously looking to see if Moiraine was with him.

“I need to speak with Nynaeve, with all of you.”

Elayne hesitated. Her gaze darted back into the room towards the girls. “They’re not... here right now,” she admitted in a low voice.

Lan leaned in, “Where are they?”

She hesitated again, his years with Moiraine taught him the tells of searching for an Aes Sedai response. Finally she let out a deep sigh and the words spilled, “They went into Tel'aran'rhiod. The World of Dreams. Egwene can Dream Walk and Verin gave her a dream ter’angreal before we left the Tower. She’s been teaching Nynaeve and I how to use it. She said they wouldn’t be long. But that was two hours ago.”

His jaw tightened and he stepped inside without waiting for permission.

Suddenly, Egwene gasped as her eyes flew open. Beside her, Nynaeve stirred, her hands clutching the sheets before she too woke with a deep breath.

They both froze when they saw Lan.
He stood in front of them, arms folded with his eyes fixed on Nynaeve.
Nynaeve blushed, sitting up straighter, “How long have you been here?”

Lan’s expression didn’t change, “Long enough.”

Nynaeve opened her mouth to snap something back, but Egwene touched her arm, “No time for that”, then turned to Elayne and Lan, “We found something.”

Lan stepped closer, his attention sharper.

“We went to the White Tower,” Egwene continued. “The Amyrlin has us hunting the Black Ajah and I thought it might hold traces of their movement. And it did. Letters between Liandrin and someone we couldn’t identify.”

Nynaeve added, “They mentioned a ter’angreal. One that can be used to control someone who can channel. Specifically, a man.”

Lan’s eyes narrowed.

“They plan to use it on Rand,” Egwene said. “If they can get to him before we do.”

“And where’s this ter’angreal?” Lan asked.

“This wasn’t my first time entering Tel’aran’rhiod, after we read about the ter’angreal I focused on it and the Dream World brought me to it. I couldn’t tell you where but if I were to enter the city in the waking world, I would recognize it.”

“Describe it to me,” Lan pressed.

“There were narrow streets. Curved buildings. The roofs had these… arches. Tiles, blue and green. Almost like shells. And everything was half-covered in dust, but it wasn’t abandoned. Just... chaotic. There were men shouting in the streets. And women wearing veils, but not Aiel. There was a smell, spices, salt. The sea couldn’t have been far, I could feel it.”

Lan turned back to face her slowly. “Tanchico.”

Egwene blinked. “What?”

“It’s Tanchico,” Lan said, voice hard with certainty. “Capital of Tarabon. The buildings, the veils, the spices. The Tower of the Kings has a rooftop garden with that shell-like tile. And the sea wind never leaves the streets.”

Nynaeve spoke next, “If Liandrin knows that, she’ll already be on her way.”

Egwene’s voice was quiet, but tense. “Then we need to go. Before she finds it. Before it’s too late.”

Nynaeve swung her legs over the edge of the bed, her voice low but fierce. “We leave tonight. Rand can’t win if he's chained before the battle even begins.”

“Tanchico is dangerous, promise me you’ll be careful,” Lan whispered to Nynaeve.

“We will. You need to promise to get Rand away from The Forsaken, none of this matters if he isn’t safe,” she said while reaching up to hold his face. “Say you’ll do that for me?” she asked.

All Lan could do was shake his head ‘yes’.

Moiraine was still asleep when Lan returned. He checked on her through the bond, she was considerably more rested than when he left.
“Thank the Light,” he said quietly.
The fraying edge of exhaustion that had clung to her for weeks was finally softened, though not gone. She had been carrying too much, as always. Too many burdens pressed into too small a frame.

Moiraine lay on her side, arm stretched across as if shielding her belly from the world. Six months now. Light, how quickly everything had changed. How strange it felt that, even with the Shadow rising, this stillness could exist.

Lan took off his boots and belt then slid into bed carefully behind her, the sheets cool against his skin. He molded himself to her back, one arm draped gently around her, hand settling just beneath hers.
She sighed in her sleep, her body leaning into him instinctively.

His lips brushed the back of her neck and through the bond, he felt it, the way her breath steadied, how the anxiety of her spirit eased, just slightly. She loved it when he held her, though pride would never let the words leave her lips.

The bond hummed softly in response, peaceful, unguarded. He closed his eyes and let himself follow her into the quiet.

Chapter Text

Moiraine stood near the edge of the hall, hands closed in front of her, delicately shielding the swell of her stomach beneath her flowing blue gown. Her eyes swept the crowd, looking for Rand.

Lan appeared beside her like a shadow.
“She’s not here yet,” he said, scanning the crowd in front of them. “You can sense it too.”

“Yes.” Moiraine’s voice was quiet. “Lanfear might not show but Rand should be here.”

His hand was at the small of her back, gently.“While we wait,” he said, “Dance with me.”

She arched an eyebrow, a flicker of amusement behind her composed mask. “You want to waltz through a room full of Cairhienin while we stalk the Dragon Reborn?”

“I want you,” he said simply. “For a moment. Just us.”

She hesitated, but not from doubt. Never with him. She gave him her hand, and he led her onto the marble floor.

The music slowed, her body moved effortlessly with his. Like the river and the shore.

He held her close, one hand at her waist, the other cradling her hand. Around them, nobles spun and whispered, but the bond made everything else fade. Moiraine could feel the thrum of his heart against hers, the quiet steadiness of his emotions. Protection, yes. Loyalty, always. But also love. Deep. Steady. Unwavering.

She pressed closer without meaning to, and the child turned as they touched, like a secret only the three of them shared.

His thumb brushed her side as he whispered, “She’s restless”.

“She?”, Moiraine raised an eyebrow.

They turned gently across the polished floor, slow and delicate. Her head dipped for just a second against his chest, and he leaned into it.

The music faded between songs, and the crowd clapped though Moiraines fingers lingered in his, not wanting to let the moment go.

The next dance was slower, the orchestra played an Andoran waltz. Moiraine and Lan moved in perfect harmony. He felt her peace. Her strength. The rhythm of her breath, the slight ache in her lower back that he compensated for with the gentle placement of his hand.

Across the room, Nynaeve watched.
She stood near a cluster of royals, arms crossed, trying not to look. Her eyes betrayed her, following Lan like a tether until they caught on the gentle way he held Moiraine, the quiet way he leaned closer to her, the way their bodies swayed with their wordless connection.

Jealousy flared but it faded quickly into something more painful, realization.

She turned away.
And then she saw Rand. He stood alone. He looked distracted, troubled. She followed his gaze, he was also watching the Warder and Aes Sedai. When Nynaeve approached, his face lit up in surprise.

“Nynaeve!” he smiled.

“Let’s dance”, she said while grabbing his wrist. They began to move, it was awkward at first, neither of them entirely comfortable but soon they found a rhythm. Nynaeve glanced past Rand’s shoulder toward Moiraine and Lan again.

“You know?” Rand asked as Nynaeve kept her eyes on Lan.

“You know?” She shot back at him in surprise.

Rand’s smile faded. He didn’t know how to answer.
And then the music shifted, picking up speed.

Moiraine and Lan approached from the opposite side of the dance floor, sweeping toward them. As the couples twirled and crossed, it happened, the seamless switch of dance partners.

Lan’s hand passed Nynaeve’s with a quiet bow.

Moiraine’s hand slipped into Rand’s as he instinctively took hers, surprise flickering across his face.

Rand noticed the curve of her stomach, not obvious, but now impossible to ignore if you knew to look. Light, it is true, he thought.

Moiraine held his gaze calmly.

“It’s his, isn’t it?” he said quietly, beneath the music.

Moiraine’s expression didn’t change but her hand tightened ever so slightly in his.
“Who’s?” she asked calmly.

Rand exhaled, his heart hurt at the thought. He looked across the dance floor at Lan and Nynaeve who looked equally as uncomfortable.

The ballroom shimmered around them, but Rand felt only the weight of Moiraine’s eyes on his. She was calm, but not cold. Not to him. Not tonight.

They moved in slow, measured circles. Her hand in his, his palm at her back, careful, protective.

He looked down, at the curve beneath her silk gown, at the way she moved differently now, even while dancing and when he looked back up, his voice cracked.

“I saw it in my dreams,” Rand said finally. “The Father of Lies. You.”

Moiraine looked at him, unbothered. “And what did the dream tell you?”

“That it’s my fault.” His voice broke on the last word. “I ran,” Rand continued. “I didn’t listen to you. I gave him space to get to you. And now…”

Her breath caught in her chest, so subtle no one else would have noticed. But Rand did.

And so did Lan.

Across the room, dancing with Nynaeve, Lan froze for the smallest instant, his body jolted with a sharp pain through the bond. It poured through him like icewater. Deep and old and buried until now. His grip on Nynaeve’s hand flinched, eyes snapping toward Moiraine. The bond throbbed with it, guilt like a blade twisting under the ribs.

“It’s not your fault” Moiraine said, voice barely audible over the music.

“I left you,” Rand said. “At the Eye… I thought I was protecting you. I didn’t know what was coming. What Ishamael would…”

She stopped moving. Just for a moment.
Her hand gripped his tighter. “Rand, don’t you dare blame yourself. There’s nothing you could have done. There’s no one to blame but Ishamael himself, not you, not me, not Lan...”

Rand swallowed hard, shame flickering across his face. “But the child is…”

“The child is mine,” she said, and something fierce burned in her voice then. “And she will not be defined by the darkness that created her. Just as you are not defined by Lews Therin’s shadow.”

Rand looked away but she pulled him back.
“You have enough burdens to carry, let me carry what is mine.”

Across the room, Lan’s heart clenched. He wanted to go to her. Now. To sweep her from the dance floor and wrap her in his arms, to be her comfort.

The music softened into something almost mournful. “I’ve been reading the Karaethon Cycle,” Rand said, his voice nearly drowned by the strings. “The older fragments. The ones never mentioned.”

Moiraine didn’t respond. She only turned with him, her hand resting lightly on his shoulder. But her eyes shifted. Just slightly. Enough to confirm what he’d guessed.

“You know the one I mean,” Rand said. “The verse that only shows up in the Sea Folk fragments. About the Dragon’s line continuing.”

Her grip tightened again.

“‘The Dragon’s flame shall flicker, and the world will hold its breath. And in the birthing hour, as one Dragon dies… another is born.’”
Rand looked into her face, and for the first time, he saw real fear there. Not panic. Not weakness.

“Before this, I thought it meant me,” Rand said, eyes dark. “That I’d be reborn after death. That I’d survive somehow. But now…”

“It could be any of the Forsaken,” she whispered. “Or it could mean me.”

Rand felt cold. “You think you’re the one meant to die?”

“I think the Wheel plays a game none of us fully understand.”

The music shifted again, dancers spinning faster, but they moved slower, more swaying than dancing.

“I don’t want that for you,” Rand said, his voice rough. “Any of it. Not the child. Not the prophecy. Not the Last Battle.”

Moiraine’s eyes shimmered as they filled with tears. “It’s not your choice. Just as it wasn’t mine when I was tasked to find you. The Pattern doesn’t ask our permission.”

Across the room, Lan had stopped dancing entirely. He stood with Nynaeve, his jaw clenched. He could feel Moiraine through the bond, her sorrow, her strength, her unspoken goodbyes.

“I think this child is meant to do something,” Moiraine whispered. “Something I won’t live to see.”

Rand closed his eyes. “Don’t say that.”

She leaned close then, her lips near his ear. “Then prove me wrong. Find Callandor. Win this war.”

Egwene moved in to dance with Rand, letting Moiraine walk off to the side, glad for a moment to steady herself. Anvaere materialized beside her, with a fresh glass of wine in hand and tea for her sister.

Anvaere glanced at her sideways. “Are you feeling well?”

“I wouldn’t be here if I weren’t.”

“You’re too proud to admit if you weren’t,” Anvaere said dryly.

Moiraine smiled faintly at her sister.
Ever since she told her the truth, or most of it, Anvaere had changed. No longer cold. Protective, even.

Anvaere watched the dance floor, her gaze followed Lan and Nynaeve as they fell into the rhythm of a Cairhienin waltz. Nynaeve’s hand rested on Lan’s shoulder with an ease that made something flicker behind Anvaere’s carefully composed expression.

She turned back to Moiraine, who had moved to a seat at the table besides them. Perfect posture despite the subtle weight pressing against her lower spine.

“I was under the impression,” Anvaere said smoothly, “that you and your Warder were… closer than most.”

Moiraine didn’t look up from her teacup. “We are,” she said simply.

“And yet,” Anvaere continued, a note of amusement entering her voice, “he dances with another woman while you sit alone. I find it curious.”

Moiraine finally looked at her sister, her expression unbothered and calm. “Lan and I already shared a dance, many,” she said, with the ease of someone long accustomed to court politics. “And I wanted to dance with Rand so I passed Lan off to a friend.”

Anvaere blinked, caught slightly off guard by the bluntness of the answer. “How very… generous of you.”

Moiraine took another sip, her voice soft and hard at the same time, “Lan is mine, Anvaere, in all the ways that matter. A single dance changes nothing.”

That seemed to settle her. Anvaere looked back toward the dance floor, “I suppose that is true,” she murmured. “Still…”

Moiraine exhaled slowly as she and Lan walked out of the royal hall. She looked radiant in her blue silk but Lan could sense how she was really feeling. The tightness in her lower back. The strain behind her calm expression. The sudden wave of nausea that swept over her while she was dancing with Rand.

He reached out, steadying her elbow as if he could hold her world together by his touch alone. Perhaps he could.

“We shouldn’t have stayed so long,” Lan confessed. His voice was soft, but the bond between them throbbed with tension. Worry. Protectiveness. Love. His hand slipped to her lower back, warm and solid, massaging gently where he knew she ached.

“He needed to find us. I would have waited all night if I had to.” She took a deep breath then continued, “He’ll come with us to Tear, but we can’t push him. If we push too hard he’ll run right back to Lanfear.”

Moiraine had stayed quiet the rest of their walk back to their room and Lan could feel the weight of her thoughts through their bond.

When they reached the room, Lan closed the door gently behind them. He stood for a long moment, just watching her.

Moiraine took off her coat, moving toward the fire.

“You’re thinking about the prophecy,” he said, in a low voice.

She froze, her hand brushing the mantle of the fireplace. He felt her chest tightening. “The Wheel weaves what The Wheel wills...”

“No.” Lan stepped closer. “Don’t tell me that. Don’t hide behind those words now. I can feel it, Moiraine. The fear. The sorrow. I thought we weren’t hiding things from each other.”

“I don’t want to burden you,” she whispered. “I didn’t want to drag you down into this prophecy. I’m carrying a child of the Shadow, Lan. And the Pattern has demanded more. This child, she’s… she’s tied to something and I don’t know what that is.”

“She?”, he said, half hopeful, half curious.

Moiraine’s face twisted with the pain of it all. She took a step back, the bond between them pulsed with her emotions. Grief, guilt, love, and above all, a sense of defeat.

“She or he…,” she whispered. “If the prophecy is true… If she is the one who brings death. If Rand di…”, her voice cracked. She closed her eyes, trying to calm her breath before continuing, “ then what have I done? What have I allowed?”

Lan reached for her, pulling her closer. She didn’t resist. Instead, she buried her face in his chest, holding him as if he was the only thing keeping her from falling apart completely.

“We can’t change the Pattern, Lan,” she said through clenched teeth. “We can’t fight what is already written. The child will come, and the prophecy will play out. One will die for the other. And Light willing, we’ll be here to pick up the pieces.”

Lan pulled her back slightly, his hands framing her face as he forced her to look at him. “I won’t lose you. Not now. Not ever. I’ll break the Wheel myself if I have to.”

Her chest tightened at his words, at the depth of his promise. She felt it, through the bond, he would fight fate for her. Even against the Pattern itself.

Chapter Text

Moiraine woke in Lan’s arms, her back nestled against his chest, his head gently resting on hers. Even before she opened her eyes, she felt the weight of his thoughts through the bond. So deep in concentration that he hadn’t noticed her waking.

He rarely got like this, she started to worry but quickly got a hold of herself before Lan could sense any shift in her.

She remained still, giving him time. He always offered her his quiet company when she needed it. Now, it was her turn to do the same for him.

They stayed like that for several minutes until a kick beneath her skin caught Lans attention. His hand moved to the place where the baby stretched.

“You’re awake,” he said to Moiraine.

“I didn’t want to interrupt,” she replied, placing her hand over his.

Her touch unraveled something in him. She felt the tug on his heart, the ripple of emotions sent spinning through the bond.

“What is it?” she said softly, concern thrumming from her end. She turned to face him but could no longer hide her worry, “You’ve decided something, what?”

“The girls are leaving for Tanchico and… I’m…going to end things with Nynaeve.”

He felt her emotions flicker through the bond, shock, then panic that turned to fear. She sat up too quickly, and he reached to steady her.

“Lan…” she started.

“No,” he cut her off and sat up beside her. “I’ve been distracted long enough. All my attention should be on you.”

“I don’t want all your attention on me!” she snapped back. She ran her hands through her hair as she calmed herself enough to continue.
“It’s too much, more than I deserve. More than I could ever return. If she makes you happy…” she sighed and shook her head, looking back at him, “You deserve happiness, in this life.”

“You, make me happy, in this life,” he said with a smile, knocking her shoulder with his.

“Lan,” she said, getting annoyed, “I’m serious. You’re thinking of the now but you should be preparing for what’s to come. We cannot ignore Nynaeves vision in the Arches. She saw you with the child. Raising it. I believe that. I need to believe that."

“You were absent from that vision, what if it was because I let my heart wander too far? What then?”

“And if I die… and you’ve burned the only other woman who ever made you feel alive… what then?“ Her voice was soft, but the bond betrayed her. A pulse of anxiety. A flare of grief.

Lan breathed through her emotions. “Then I will grieve. But I will not run to another woman just to fill the hole.”

They let their eyes lock but sat in silence, allowing the bond cool.

Finally, Moiraine continued, “If there’s even a chance I don’t come through this, I need to know you won’t be alone. Nynaeve loves you. Don’t make me the reason you give up the only real joy you’ve ever claimed for yourself.”

Her words cut him deeper than any blade.
He had always believed his death would come first. Sword in hand, fighting to his last breath. Not this.

“You really think I should stay with her,” he said after a long silence.

Moiraine met his eyes again. “You love her.”

“I love you too,” he said.

She dropped her head, acknowledging the truth of it. There had been a time when their bond had become more than duty. It had been lonely and tender. But it was never meant to last.

“Lan, I love you. You love me. But we are not each other’s destiny.”

“I made an oath to you,” Lan said. “I can’t serve you fully when my heart is split.”

“Is your heart split?” Moiraine said, placing her hand on his chest. “Or does also loving her make it full? There’s a difference.”

Lan’s eyes fell to her belly, and she felt a fresh wave of concern surge through the bond. Not just for her, but for her unborn child.

There was a knock at the door.

Lan kissed her above her brow before getting up to answer.

“My lord. My lady. You have a visitor”, Jonas announced.

“At dawn?” Moiraine asked.

“She insisted, my lady. And she’s scaring the staff.”

Lan sighed, looking back at his Aes Sedai, “That narrows it down.”

“You should go to her,” Moiraine offered.

“I don’t mean to interrupt, my lady, but she requested the both of you,” Jonas pressed.

“Then we’ll both be down, I just need a moment.”

Lan’s thoughts were always careful, even when conflicted. But as they made their way downstairs, Moiraine could feel them churning. She felt the conversation unfolding in his heart.

She let out a slow breath. This pregnancy left her more emotional than she liked. Lan’s inner arguments seeped into her more easily these days, his guilt echoing through her own heart.

“It isn’t fair,” he said at last. “Not to you. Not to her.”

Moiraine looked up at him, grabbing his hands in hers. “Whatever you choose, make sure it’s what’s best for you,” she said while tapping a finger onto his chest.

"They're gone!" Nynaeve announced the second they walked into the parlor. "Rand and Egwene, they left in the night. I can’t help but think they got the idea from you"

Moiraine stopped in the doorway, "Callandor?"

Nynaeve nodded. "That’s what the note said. And they think it’s best if they’re out from under your control.”

She hesitated, her eyes shifting. “I wouldn’t have come to you, but… I felt something while looking for them in The Dream World. Something or someone, watching from the shadows. I think one of the Forsaken is following them.”

“Lanfear?” Lan asked, turning to Moiraine.

“There’s another Forsaken…” the Wisdom interrupted before Moiraine could respond.

Her confession sent a shiver down the Aes Sedai’s spine.

"Moghedien… Elayne and I ran into her in Tel’aran’rhiod before knowing who she was. She’s been watching us, we’re pretending not to notice. We’ve been leaving false clues to throw her off our trail. But if she was there when I was looking for Rand, she knows where they’re headed. They could be running into a trap”.

Anvaere charged into the room, “Moiraine!”

“Not now, Anva…” Moiraine started.

“The Amyrlin Seat is here, demanding an audience with you, now!” she said quickly.

The Aes Sedai and Warder gave each other a look.

“You stay, talk... Anvaere can help me,” Moiraine looked from Lan towards her sister, reaching for her hand.

“She wants us to talk? That can’t be good”, Nynaeve said after the other women walked out of the room.

Lan stood for a long moment. He could still feel Moiraines emotions. Here she was on her way to the Amyrlin but was trying to comfort him through the bond.

Lan turned to Nynaeve, who stood across the room, watching him. Her hands on the end of her braid.

He sighed, "I feel like I’m caught between two lives. I’ve never cared for anyone outside Moiraine until you. And I care deeply for you… but I’ve sworn to protect her… You deserve more than a man who’s always worried about another woman” he said.

Nynaeve’s voice softened, “I’m not trying to take you from her. I never was. I know what she means to you.”

She walked to him, slowly, and placed a hand on his chest. Over his heart. “I’ll wait for you, Lan Mandragoran. I won’t make you choose. I believe in a future where we’re together. For now, that’s enough to get me through our time apart.”

He cupped a hand to her cheek, bringing her eyes to meet his. There was something in her expression that nearly undid him. Not pity, not patience. Strength. A determination that matched his own.

"I don’t know what I did to earn your love," he confessed.

"You didn’t earn it," Nynaeve said. "You just have it. That’s how love works."

“Light, I’ve always hated stairs,” Moiraine said, pausing halfway up.

“You should walk them, daily. Helps with the delivery,” Anvaere offered back.

Moiraine breathed a deep, long breath then asked, “Tell me, honestly, what are your first thoughts, looking at me?”

Anvaere arched an eyebrow, “You’re obviously showing, I don’t know how I didn’t notice when you first arrived… and you look tired… but that’s expected.”
She turned her head down then up again, giving her a real look. “It would serve you well to comb your hair before seeing the Amyrlin but, other than that, you’re Cairhienin perfection,” she said with a smile.

She turned to continue up the stairs, linking her arm with Moiraines, “Come, let’s get you dressed.”

Chapter Text

Moiraine walked into the foyer before the hall and paused as the scent hit her. Siuan must of just walked through, sea salt and lavender still lingered in the air. She tried to take a deep breath before opening the doors but couldn’t. She had decided on the dress that Alanna weaved with the One Power to hide her secret, the same dress she ditched days ago cause it had gotten too tight. It was tighter than she remembered. Every breath felt like it stopped halfway up her ribs.

Inside the hall, Siuan Sanche stood with her back to the door, hands clasped behind her. The flame of Tar Valon shimmered on her shoulders, but her posture was locked in place.
Her head turned slightly at the sound of Moiraine entering.

"You took your time," Siuan said sharply.

“I was not expecting visitors,” Moiraine replied calmly. “Much less the Amyrlin Seat.”

Siuan turned to face her, anger showing in her eyes.

“Six months, Moiraine?” frustration rang in her voice. “Six months of letters and not one mention of this… this violation?”

Moiraine said nothing. She folded her hands in front of her, keeping her calm, her eyes never left Siuan’s. Only the slightest gasp for breath betrayed her. It had been too long since they shared each others space. Far too long.

“How could you keep this from me?” Siuan asked. “Making me learn in a letter from Verin, as if we’re just two women in the Tower. As if there’s nothing more between us!”

Moiraine turned away, as if looking at Siuan were suddenly unbearable.

“I wanted to tell you,” she said, voice barely above a whisper. “Every day. Every letter I sent started with a draft of me telling you. Every draft ended in the fire.”

“You’re carrying a Forsaken’s child, Moiraine! You should’ve come to me the moment you knew!”

“I didn’t choose any of this,” Moiraine said coldly.

“No,” Siuan said. “But you allowed it to get this far.”

Moiraine tried to control her breathing, she knew if she got all worked up she wouldn’t make it to the end of their meeting.

“I do not… need your judgment, Siuan.” Moiraine said between breaths.

“Of course you do,” she said. “Because no one else will give it to you.”

Moiraine gasped for air again, feeling like a fool. Anvaere tried telling her the dress wouldn’t zip to the top but Moiraine insisted. She could barely breathe, let alone focus with Siuan in front of her.

A knock came at the door barely a second before it opened. Only one person ever knocked like that, not from hesitation, but as a courtesy.

Lan stepped in, taking the coat off his back as he quickly made his way to Moiraine.

“Mandragoran! Unless there’s Shadowspawn storming the flaming place, this hall is closed!” Siuan fumed.

“She can’t breathe,” he announced, draping the coat around his Aes Sedais shoulders before unzipping her dress just enough for her to take a deep breath.

Siuan made her way to Moiraine, fury forgotten in an instant. “Light, Love… I didn’t come to scream at you… I came to demand answers, but… I think I really wanted to see your face again,” Siuan said, reaching a hand out to Moiraines.

Moiraine let herself leaned towards the woman, as Lan moved to make room. He sensed her breathing returning to a normal pace but knew she would be more comfortable in something else.

“Why don’t we let her change into something she can breathe in?” he said while making his way to the door of the hall.

Siuan sat on the bed, taking in Moiraines room for the first time. Her sea colored dress blending with the soft blue of the sheets. She saw the music box Moiraine use to talk about when she first came to the Tower. The book shelves Siuan heard about when she asked how her lover got so good at climbing walls.

Moiraine lingered in the doorway of her closet, watching the Amyrlin. Her blue silk robe draped the curves of her body, no longer hiding anything. Her hand smoothing out the fabric over her belly.

Siuan turned to look at Moiraine and the sight of her caught her breath.

“You’re glowing”

The confession caught Moiraine off guard. She kept her chin to her chest but looked up with her eyes.

“I mean it,” Siuan said again, more gently. “It’s odd, seeing you like this.”

“Like what?” Moiraine wondered, aloud.

“Softer…”

“Do not mistake hormones for softness,” Moiraine scoffed, but her voice lacked bite.
There was something else beneath it. Tiredness, perhaps.

“Light, Moiraine” Siuan whispered, getting up, meeting her in the doorway.
“A child. I never thought…”

“Neither did I,” Moiraine replied quietly.

Siuan took her hand and laced their fingers together, as she pulled Moiraine back to the bed.

“How are you feeling?” she said softly, letting Moiraine sit first.

“Hungry,” Moiraine whined, playfully. “And enormous… always tired.”

Siuan chuckled, sitting down beside her. “So you don’t just look pregnant, you act pregnant, too.”

Another knock at the door, Moiraine knew it was her Warder but he gave them the courtesy of waiting for a response this time.

“You can come in,” she called out to him.

Lan walked in with breakfast for two on a tray.

“Light, I forgot how annoying you two can be”, Siuan teased before adding, “Lan… thank you for keeping her fed… for keeping her safe.”

Moiraine couldn’t contain her happiness any longer and had to used the sleeves of her robe to wipe the tears welling in her eyes.

“Love, what it is?” Siuan questioned.

“Happy tears”, Lan answered for Moiraine as he sensed her trying to keep her emotions from completely spilling over.

“You’re being annoying again,” Siuan recited.

“You’re right, I’m leaving,” Lan said, kissing Moiraine on the head before closing the door behind him.

The tray he brought still steamed slightly, loaded with buttered bread, sliced fruit, and two bowls of something sweet smelling and thick. Rice porridge with honey and cream, if Siuan's nose was correct.

Moiraine sat back, nestling in among the pillows. Again, she looked… softer somehow, less like the stubborn Aes Sedai Siuan remembered and more like the girl who use to sneak her into the kitchens for midnight tea.

Siuan rolled onto her belly beside Moiraine, watching in open amusement as her love tried spearing a piece of pear with her fork.

“You're enjoying this?” Moiraine asked, arching a brow.

Siuan laughed and her heart ached over how much she had missed Moiraine. It had been too long.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you eat this fast… or this much.”

“You have the child to thank for that”, Moiraine smiled as she scooped the pear up. “She has quite the appetite. Im starting to think my stomach is half fetus, half food.”

“She?” Siuan echoed, caught on the word like a fish on a hook.

Moiraine’s smile softened, “I… I don’t know…” she took a deep breath, “but Lans convinced.”

Siuan knew Moiraine. She didn’t need a bond to tell her that her friends mood suddenly shifted with that last question.

She reached up, brushing her fingers gently along Moiraine’s cheek.

“How are you really feeling, Love? Not your appearance… or your appetite. Where’s your head? How’s your heart?”

Moiraine's fork stilled on the plate. Her shoulders rose with a small breath, then sank.

“I don’t know,” she said finally. Her voice was quiet. “Some days I wake up and I’m terrified that I won’t make it to the end, that something will go wrong, that the child will…” she trailed off.

“And others, I wake up and I feel... hope. Like maybe I’m not setting the whole bloody world on fire. That there’s a chance this all works out for the better.”

Siuan’s heart clenched, without another word she pulled Moiraine in, arms wrapping around her and pressing her close. Moiraine didn’t resist. She let her head fall into Siuan’s shoulder with a sigh so deep Siuan felt her relief as her own.

“I’m sorry I haven’t been there for you,” Siuan mumbled into her hair.

Moiraine turned her face so she speak, “I’m sorry I haven’t been there, for you,” Moiraine recited back. “I missed you.”

Siuan smiled a sad smile, “Light, Moiraine, I’ve been drowning without you. You have no idea the turn the Tower has taken since our last letters. Black Ajah on the loose. I had to send Accepted out to hunt them. Queens breathing down my neck and a bloody terangreal has been...”

Siuan stopped mid breath as something shifted against her, she pulled away from Moiraine enough to stare her in the face.

“Was that…?”

Moiraine blinked, then laughed. “Yes.”

Siuan placed her hand more firmly over Moiraine’s belly, eyes wide, waiting.

A kick this time, or maybe an elbow.

“Light… she’s strong!” Siuan said in awe and with no more warning than locking eyes with the woman, Siuan leaned forward and pressed her lips to Moiraine’s.

It wasn’t desperate.

It wasn’t hurried.

It was long overdue.

Moiraine grabbed Siuans face gently, kissing her back. She let herself be in the moment, realizing this was the first time in a long time she felt such joy.

Chapter Text

Lan dropped the tray off then made his way back to Nynaeve who was waiting out front.

“Ready?” he asked.

They walked side by side through the bustling streets leading to the market. The noise of merchants shouting, the scent of spices and fresh bread, and the lively crowd surrounded them, but their conversation remained low and serious.

Nynaeve glanced sideways at Lan, her brow furrowed. “Do you think the Amyrlin knows about the pregnancy?”

Lan’s gaze remained steady ahead. “She knows.”

Nynaeve’s eyes widened, surprise and concern flickering across her face. “And you’re leaving your Aes Sedai alone with her?”

Lan nodded. “She’s safe with Siuan.”

Nynaeve bit her lip, conflicted. “Seeing the Amyrlin makes me uneasy .”

Lan’s voice softened. “Nothing about this is easy.”

They walked on, the weight of unspoken fears pressing heavily between them, even as the market’s bright chaos swirled all around.

Nynaeve spoke first, “It’s late in the morning, all the fresh fruits will be gone”

Lan, in step beside her, “I’m not after fresh fruits,” he said, glancing sideways at her. “Mango, dried. I found a cart the day before last that had plenty. I pray it’s enough to last to Tear.”

Nynaeve rolled her eyes, though there was warmth behind it. “A craving?”

“I’ve learned it’s not a craving. It’s a necessity,” Lan replied.

That made Nynaeve laugh.

Lan raised an eyebrow her way, “and your favorite food?”

“Two Rivers berry pie,” she said, without hesitation.

“Yours?”

He considered. “Boiled goat and barley.”

She stopped and stared at him. “That is the single most depressing answer I’ve ever heard.”

“It’s dependable. Doesn’t spoil. Easy to carry.”

“That’s not favorite. That’s practical.”

He shrugged. “Same thing.”

Nynaeve rolled her eyes again and started walking. “Fine. What’s your favorite color, then?”

“Gray.”

She turned to look at him like he’d grown a second head. “Gray?”

“It matches everything.”

“That’s not how favorites work!”

“What’s yours?”

“Green,” she said. “Like new leaves in Spring”

He was quiet for a long moment. “Green suits you.”

They walked in silence for a few paces, the scent of roasting nuts and baking bread starting to rise from the street ahead.

“Favorite holiday?” she asked.

He hesitated. “I don’t… have one.”

“You’re impossible,” she muttered. “Bel Tine. At least, it use to be... bonfires, dancing, ribbons everywhere.”

“You do like to dance” he said, nodding.

“Sleeping in or staying up late?” she asked, a bit more teasingly now.

“I rise with the sun,” Lan said as if that answered everything.

She shook her head. “I figured. I prefer staying up. Reading, sometimes. Or just watching the stars.”

Then she smirked. “Least favorite food?”

He frowned slightly. “Pickled fish.”

Nynaeve laughed. “That’s not food, that’s punishment.”

He grunted something that might’ve been a laugh.

“Least favorite color?”

He thought. “Yellow. Too bright. Too loud.”

She smiled. “I don’t like brown. Reminds me of sickrooms.”

The crowds were thicker now, and the carts ahead were alive with the bustle of barter and clinking coin.

“Favorite memory?” Lan asked.

Nynaeve was silent for a long time, her mind drifting back through years of memories. “The day I was welcomed into the Women’s Circle,” she said, her voice soft, faraway.
“It was the first time I felt like I truly belonged.”

“Yours?” She wondered aloud.

“Exploring with Bukama. He taught me everything. Malkieri heritage, combat, the dangers of the Blight.”

She reached for his hand. He let her.

They reached the cart of dried mangos, he bought it all.

“It’s like shopping with Elayne”, she scoffed.

“And a bag of fresh berries for the lady”, Lan said to the merchant.

Nynaeve smiled at that and they continued their way through the streets.

Chapter Text

Siuan deepened the kiss for just a breath longer before pulling back, foreheads pressed together. Trying to memorize the feeling of Moiraine's hands against her cheeks.

Moiraine let out a soft sigh and leaned back against the cushions with one hand soothing the curve of her belly.

“What’s wrong, love?” Siuan asked, reaching out for Moiraine’s hand, giving it a soft squeeze.

“I want to continue kissing you…” Moiraine started.

“But…”

“But I will not eat porridge once it’s gone cold, and very much want to eat my porridge” She picked up the bowl and shoveled a spoonful into her mouth. “Jonas has been making a fuss if I don’t finish.”

Shock reached Siuan’s face, “Moiraine Damodred, worried about disappointing someone… That must be those bloody hormones you mentioned” she teased.

The tray between them was mostly empty now. Moiraine finished her portions and most of the portions Lan brought for Siuan. Her belly stretched just a bit more than it had before breakfast. She leaned back against the pillows, a sigh escaping her lips. “I think I’ve just replaced my organs with porridge,” she muttered.

Siuan smirked, propped up on one elbow beside her. “You really weren’t joking about the appetite.”

“I wasn’t,” Moiraine replied as she shifted. “I need to walk it off before I become entirely useless. The Alguenya is quiet this time of day. Would you join me?”

Siuan smiled, “A walk by the river? That’s my love language.”

Moiraine gave a quiet hum of amusement, allowing Siuan to help her to her feet. “I thought your love language was lecturing the Hall until they beg for mercy.”

“That’s my public love language,” Siuan said with a grin, looping her fingers through Moiraine’s. “This one’s just for you.”

Outside, the morning haze had mostly lifted, though the summer air still held the heavy warmth of late-summer humidity. It was quieter now, as Moiraine had said. The barges and boats would come later in the day, but for now, only the sounds of water and the soft calls of riverbirds filled the air.

Siuan glanced over at Moiraine, who stood a moment just breathing in the scent of jasmine and river breeze.

Moiraine felt her lovers eyes on her.

“You’re quiet,” Moiraine said, turning to catch her gaze. “That’s never a good sign.”

“I still don’t understand how you let it get this far,” she said, shaking her head. “Light, Moiraine. I would’ve gutted the fry before it had time to stick. Ended it. Clean.”

Moiraine continued walking without reaction. Siuan was always honest. Brutally so. It was part of what Moiraine had always loved and sometimes hated about Siuan. She would never lie to make things easier. Not even for her.

“You’re braver than I am,” Siuan added, quieter now. “Foolish, but brave.”

Moiraine smiled weakly. “I’m not sure it was bravery. Not at first.” She looked toward the water, eyes distant. “I didn’t know. Not for weeks. I blamed the exhaustion on the mission, the nausea on our rations. The mood swings… I thought perhaps my body had finally grown tired of life on the road.”

Siuans eyebrows raised. “So… how did you find out?”

“Lan,” Moiraine replied. “He obviously noticed everything. The mood swings, the sickness, the way I slept like the dead but woke up exhausted. How I cried over the smallest things.”

Siuan squeezed her hand. “And when you realized?”

“Oh, I completely lost it.”

Siuan looked away. “And yet you still didn’t end it.”

“I thought about it. Once the shock wore off, it was all I could think about.” Moiraine whispered, “But what if I ended it and they were the key to it all? What if the Pattern gave her to me for a reason, and I threw her away out of fear?”

“You always did have a poetic way of damning yourself.” Siuan huffed.

They walked in silence for a time, watching the slow, silver water wind its way through the heart of Cairhien.

Siuan noticed the subtle signs of Moiraines discomfort. The way she kept pressing a hand to her lower back. The slight drag in her step. The deeper breaths that didn’t quite steady her.

They reached a bench at the base of a willow tree. Siuan paused. “Sit,” she said gently.

Moiraine lifted her chin to argue.

Siuan gave her a look. “Sit, or I’ll make you.”

“Yes, Mother.” Moiraine smirked faintly and lowered herself onto the bench with a breath that was more relief than she’d allow herself to admit. She leaned back slightly until she found a comfortable spot.

“Are you ready for someone to call you ‘Mother’?” Siuan asked after a moment.

Moiraine paused, letting the breeze cool her skin as it filtered through the willow branches overhead. She stared at the water for a long while before speaking.

“I’ve never thought of myself as the maternal type.”

Siuan sat beside her. “You don’t say,” she deadpanned, a small grin tugging at the corner of her mouth.

Moiraine didn’t return the smile.

“I mean it,” she said softly. “I wasn’t made for this. I was trained to command, to endure, to sacrifice. My whole life, I’ve known that my place was behind the veil of prophecy, pushing others forward. Not… not bringing new life into the world.”

Siuan was quiet for a moment, her fingers still wrapped gently around Moiraine’s.
“And yet,” she said finally, “you’re doing it already.”

Moiraine blinked. “What are you talking about?”

“You took in Rand,” Siuan said. “Protected him. Guided him. Challenged him.”

“I manipulated him.”

“You believed in him,” Siuan countered. “Even when it cost you everything.”

Moiraine turned her gaze away.

“And it wasn’t just him,” Siuan went on. “Egwene, Nynaeve, Mat, Perrin… you watched over them all. You saw what they needed, even when they hated you for it. Even when I did.”

Moiraine’s throat tightened. “That wasn’t motherhood, Siuan. That was duty.”

“Duty and love,” Siuan said, eyes steady on hers. “And don’t you dare try to tell me you don’t love them. I know you too well.”

Moiraine looked away, but her silence gave her away.

“They needed you and you were there.”

Moiraine didn’t answer right away.

“I’m afraid,” she said at last.

Siuan stood then, brushing the grass from her skirts. She stepped in front of Moiraine and took both of her hands.

“Good,” she said. “Because if you weren’t, I’d be worried.”

Moiraine blinked. “That’s supposed to be comforting?”

“It is,” Siuan said firmly. “Because it means you care. It means you’re already trying to protect her.”

There was a long pause, filled only by the sound of leaves rustling overhead and the steady rush of the river below.

“I’m not ready,” Moiraine whispered.

“You will be,” Siuan replied. “You don’t have to be now.”

She leaned down and kissed her again, not with urgency, but with reassurance. With certainty.

A breeze stirred Moiraine’s hair, and Siuan reached out to tuck it behind her ear, fingers lingering for a heartbeat longer than necessary. Moiraine melted into it, “Don’t start something you’re not willing to finish.”

Siuan gave a wicked grin. “Oh, I fully intend to finish. After we walk off that porridge.”