Work Text:
Click.
“Ohohoho, safe!” Wade chuckled, gun pressed against his temple, a bottle in his hand. He took another swig before passing both items to the man on the other side of the table.
Logan smirked, grabbing the bottle before the gun, taking another sip for himself before spinning the revolver, pressing it against his head, and pulling the trigger.
Click.
Logan grunted, whether he was pleased or not with the outcome was up for debate. He drank a bit more before passing everything back to Wade. “Running low, gonna need to get another bottle soon.” They’d already been through about ten or twelve, all empty and scattered around the table, the floor, a few broken, having been shattered against the wall.
“Fine, but your lazy ass has to get up and get it this time.” Wade snatched the gun, eyeballing the bottle before taking it as well. “The fuck? There’s like- half a sip in here!”
“Aaallll yours, bub.”
“Geez, how thoughtful.” The merc gave the cylinder a spin once, twice, three times-
“What the hell are you two doing in here?” Blind Al came into the dining area.
Click.
“We’re playing a game to see who has to clean all this shit up tomorrow!” Wade explained, finishing off their shared beer and handing Logan the gun again.
Logan took it, spinning and pulling the trigger.
Click.
“So you made a mess of this damn apartment, and to see which one of you motherfuckers has to clean it up, you’re gonna splatter whatever brains you’ve got left and create an even bigger mess?”
The two men looked at each other, silent and deadpanning before giggling quietly.
Logan stood up, leaving the gun on the table before making his way to the refrigerator to grab a couple more bottles, this way they each had one of their own and didn’t have to share anymore. He popped them open with his hands, bringing them back and setting one in front of Wade.
“Thanks, hot stuff.” Wade winked at the other man.
Logan rolled his eyes. “Your turn.”
“Y’know, I think Al should give it a go, honestly-” The tv remote flew through the air, hitting him on the back of the head. “Or not, that’s fine, too.”
“Logan, can you hand that back to me, please?” Al asked from the spot she’d found for herself on the couch.
“Sure thing.” Smack! Remote to the face.
“Ok, now you’re just being nasty little bitches, both of you.” Wade picked up the remote and tossed it over to the couch. “On your right, Al.” He sighed, cracking his knuckles and picking up the gun. Logan was already halfway done with his drink by the time Wade spun the cylinder, pressing the revolver to his temple again. He locked eyes with the other man, taking a deep breath before pulling the trigger.
Click.
Both men groaned.
“We might be too good at this. We’ve been playing for, what, like, 2 hours now?” The merc huffed.
The ex-X-Man shrugged. “Somethin’ like that.”
“Maybe we should just rock-paper-scissor each other for it.” Wade suggested, making a certain suggestive gesture with his hands.
Logan finished his beer and set the bottle down on the table. “One more round, c’mon.”
“Actually- nah, I’ll just do it.” Wade shook his head, spinning the cylinder, treating it almost like a fidget spinner.
“You’re just gonna-” BANG! Logan’s chair tipped back, dumping the man’s body on the ground, blood pooling from the hole between his eyes… But not for long.
Althea was unbothered, simply turning up the volume on the television.
“Oh he’s gonna be soooo pissed in minute.” Wade laughed.
Mary Puppins came around the corner, investigating Logan’s body before making her way over to Wade, tail wagging.
“Hello, my little princess! Y’know, we’re gonna go on a nice, long walk so daddy can momentarily escape the consequences of his own actions, how’s that sound?”
She licked his face in response.
Wade got up, grabbing the leash and a jacket. “Okie dokie, be back later, Al! When Logan gets up in a sec here, tell him he should probably start with the blood, then move to the bottles.”
Al mumbled something, but the door was already closing. A few moments passed before there was a gasp from the floor, followed by growling.
“That son of a bitch- Where is he?” Logan sat up and looked around.
“Just left with that freaky ass dog.”
“I’ll be back.” There was some shuffling, door opening, door slamming.
Althea sighed. It was so rare to have the apartment quiet these days…
“You dumb fuck!” Yelling from the streets came in through the cracked window.
“Nononononono, please- please- Ahhh!!” Slice, splat. “Ah, fuck!”
Al shook her head. “Maybe I should’ve taken a turn…”