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Shaky, shallow breathing wracked Hyerin’s body.
Around her was all dark, like the curtain to the show had already closed.
Rosey liquid splattered on her face, eyes as wide as saucers, with a dam behind them that was threatening to break and flood over.
Heart lurching in her chest, beating twice as many beats per minute.
She felt empty and numb all over. Then, the feeling came back: the feeling of the cold, lifeless body slouched onto her. The feeling of the tears welled up behind her eyes, finally spilling out like the calm before the storm. The feeling of her utter hopelessness, distress, and uselessness.
What happened? What was she even doing? One second, she saw the stage become bright again, butterflies in her chest, face feeling hot, rushing towards the creature of her affection. Running towards her Soomin. Then the next second, Soomin was wrapped around her taking her last breath.
How did that happen, exactly? The gun was pointed towards her head, not Soomin’s, so why...?
Was it really pointing towards her though?
Was there even a gun at all?
Hyerin doesn’t know. She doesn’t remember. She was too preoccupied: both back then and right now.
There were more important things. Right now, all she could focus on was how she got her world back, only for it to all come crashing down.
All she can remember is the happiness she felt, the way her body tensed up and felt fuzzy all over, the way her eyes lit up in both disbelief and utter awe as she found Soomin again. The girl who had approached her when she was all alone. The girl who was always kind to her. The girl who always made sure to include her. The girl who cared about her and wasn’t afraid to show that to her. The girl who was the first to ever love her. That girl was Soomin, the very first girl who befriended Hyerin. The very first girl to smile at her with that wide, gorgeous smile. The very first girl to play with her and touch her like no one else would.
Wasn’t there another? Someone just like Soomin, who was always right by her side? Hyerin doesn't remember. She can't even think about it. All that's ever been on her mind is Soomin, Soomin, Soomin.
Whenever she would return from being experimented on, drained out and pain all over her body, just Soomin’s smile was enough to brighten her mood. Whenever she was bored and sitting alone, too tired to even get up, just the sight of Soomin playing around in the distance was enough to get her feet moving to rush toward her. Whenever Soomin was near, that was enough for Hyerin’s heart to pull herself back up and run towards Soomin to perhaps lean on her and maybe take a nap. Soomin is like home to her.
Just being around Soomin is all Hyerin needed in life.
Hyerin needed Soomin. And she’s sure that Soomin needed her too.
In this world full of a corrupted, barely existent society, Soomin was Hyerin’s only reprieve. In a world full of controlling aliens who hold humans captive and dehumanize them, Soomin made Hyerin feel a little more human. In a warped world where there was no freedom and individuality, no hope, and no say in one’s own fate or future, Soomin made Hyerin feel like she could choose her’s. Soomin made Hyerin feel visible. She made her feel alive and real. Hyerin never cared much about anything. No matter what happened to her or how she was treated, she’d keep her face blank and mouth shut. Hyerin wasn't the type of girl to have opinions. However, she found herself starting to care about things just a little more when it comes to Soomin.
Soomin’s opinions mattered to Hyerin.
Now, standing before her, memories of her childhood replayed in one rapid session in her head, life flashing before her eyes (which was pretty ironic. Hyerin’s not the one who's on the verge of death here). She saw her world disappearing before her very eyes.
Was this how others had felt? Was this how her opponents had felt whenever they lost their loved ones? Hyerin never understood why they fought so hard to live. Hyerin only won all the time because she was simply better. She wasn't desperate enough to cling to life. However, the true fragility of life had finally dawned on her.
Now, with a cold body slumped in her arms, she understands. She wishes she could go back and do things differently. Would that have changed the outcome? She shouldn’t have laughed at the people who had lost against her. She should’ve appreciated her life a little more. She shouldn't have been so self-centered. She should have paid attention to her surroundings a little more.
Maybe then, Soomin would have been spared. Maybe then, she’d still be here. Hyerin doesn’t even care anymore. Her fame, her reputation, her owner, her fans, her legacy, it can all go to hell.
Screw Alien Stage. She doesn’t need it, she doesn’t want it. None of that popularity could bring her anywhere near happiness as much as Soomin did. She’d desert it all in a heartbeat if it meant getting to hear Soomin one more time. This world, this life, means nothing to Hyerin if Soomin isn’t in it.
If God exists, if God is really out there somewhere, then please, someone, anyone...
Give me my Soomin back.
Hyerin shakily drew her hands forward, embracing Soomin back. She felt weightless, lifeless, with no will or energy left in her legs to keep her from falling onto the floor and sinking into Soomin with the broken sobs that she’d been holding back. Hyerin has never been an emotional person. This was the most emotion she’d ever felt, and it was all for the girl of her dreams. But that girl no longer existed.
Soomin was the only one Hyerin ever loved.
And now, Soomin is gone.