Chapter Text
Characters
Mikha as Mutya
Aiah as Agos
Jhoanna as Jimena
Stacey as Sinag
Maloi as Malaya
Colet as Cielo
Sheena as Sabel
Gwen as Gani
The first time Agos met Mutya, she was drowning. Not in the poetic, metaphorical sense. She was literally drowning.
It happened on a summer afternoon in Batangas, the kind where the sun clung to your skin like a second layer. The twelve-year-old Agos had spent the day running along the shore, chasing after her older cousins as they challenged each other to swim further and further into the sea.
Agos, stubborn and eager to prove herself, had followed.
She wasn’t weak. She had lived by the ocean her whole life, and swimming was second nature. But that day, the waves were ruthless, and the current was stronger than she had anticipated.
One second, she was kicking against the water, trying to keep up with the others. The next, the ocean had seized her, yanking her down into its depths.
Panic clawed at her lungs. Salt burned her throat. She thrashed, but the current was merciless, dragging her further away from shore. Her vision blurred, water and light mixing into something hazy and terrifying.
And then, she felt it.
A hand.
It was firm, grabbing her wrist with a force so strong that it yanked her upward. She felt like she was being pulled back into the world.
The moment they broke the surface, Agos gasped, coughing violently, her lungs desperate for air. Through her blurred vision, she caught a glimpse of dark, determined eyes and tangled black hair clinging to a sun-kissed face.
“Hoy, ano bang ginagawa mo?! Magpapakamatay ka ba?!”
Agos barely had time to process the words before the girl, the one who had just saved her, started pulling her back toward shore with strong, effortless strokes.
The girl was smaller than Agos but moved through the water like she was born in it. Unlike Agos, she wasn’t struggling; she wasn’t fighting against the sea—she was one with it.
By the time they reached the shallows, Agos’ body was trembling from exhaustion, but she still managed to push herself up on shaky arms, spitting out seawater.
Her cousins came rushing over, their faces pale with worry.
“Agos! Ayos ka lang ba?” Cielo’s voice broke through the haze.
Cielo had always been the one to soften the sharp edges of their family. She was the calm to Agos' storm, the voice of reason when everything felt too chaotic.
“Agos! Jusko po! Ang tigas kasi ng ulo mo!” Jimena scolded, but she barely heard her.
Her focus was entirely on her.
The girl stood in front of her, hands on her hips, eyes blazing.
“Bakit ka sumubok lumangoy doon kung hindi mo naman pala kaya?”
Agos, still catching her breath, blinked. “Anong hindi? Kaya ko naman—”
“Hindi, hindi mo kaya,” the girl snapped, cutting her off. “Kung kaya mo, eh ‘di sana hindi kita iniligtas ngayon.”
Agos scowled. “Eh ‘di sana hindi mo na nga lang ako iniligtas.”
The girl let out a short laugh, shaking her head. “Boang ka pala eh.”
That was when Agos finally got a good look at her.
She was tiny, smaller than Agos by a few inches, but she carried herself with a confidence that made her seem much taller.
She was tanned from the sun, her skin glowing with salt and warmth, and her dark hair, though soaked, framed her sharp features like it had a mind of its own.
Around her neck hung a thin gold chain, glinting under the sunlight.
A small Scorpio pendant rested against her collarbone.
“You almost died na nga, tapos ang yabang mo pa rin? Ang ungrateful mo.” The girl huffed, crossing her arms.
Agos lifted her chin. “Hindi ako mayabang.”
“Ah, talaga? Eh iniligtas na nga kita tapos hindi ka man lang nag thank you. Ikaw pa ‘tong galit.” The girl smirked, shaking her head. “Kung hindi kita sinagip, baka wala ka na ngayon.”
Agos narrowed her eyes. “Eh ‘di thank you. Sino ba kasing may sabi na gusto kong sagipin mo ako?”
“No one.” The girl grinned. “Pero kargo de konsensya ko ‘yan ‘pag hindi kita iniligtas ‘no.”
Something about her made Agos’ stomach twist—not in fear, but in something else.
Curiosity.
Annoyance.
Intrigue.
Before Agos could respond, the girl stuck out her hand. “Mutya.”
Agos hesitated before taking it. Her fingers were rough with callouses, probably from climbing rocks or holding onto boats.
“Agos.”
Mutya’s grip was strong as she shook her hand. “Bagay sa’yo.”
Agos frowned. “Ha? S-sino?”
“’Yung pangalan mo.” Mutya’s lips curled up in a teasing smile. "Because you're so easily swept away by the waves."
Agos yanked her hand back, scowling. “I know how to swim. It was just a coincidence that the waves were ruthless.”
Mutya just laughed, bright and unbothered, before turning on her heel and jogging back toward the water.
Agos watched her go, still catching her breath, still feeling the weight of Mutya’s grip on her hand.
It was the following weekend when she saw Mutya once more, this time sitting by the shore, her back to the waves, hair tied up in a messy bun as she carved something into the sand with a stick.
Agos hadn’t expected to see her again, but the ocean had a way of bringing people together in ways she didn’t understand.
Agos stood at the edge of the water, hesitant. After the incident, she hadn’t known how to approach Mutya.
The girl had saved her life, but her brash attitude had left Agos confused. They hadn’t spoken since that heated exchange, and now here she was, watching her in the distance.
Mutya didn’t notice her right away, too focused on her task. But then she looked up, and Agos froze. Their eyes met, and for a moment, neither moved.
“Aren’t you afraid of getting drowned again?” Mutya asked casually, her lips quirking in that half-smile Agos had found both infuriating and endearing.
Agos blinked, unsure how to respond. She had been trying to push the memory out of her head. “I already told you, marunong akong lumangoy,” she muttered. “Also, alam ko na ang limits ko.”
Mutya raised an eyebrow. “Limits? Sigurado ka?”
Agos didn’t know why, but something in her snapped. She strode forward, planting herself right in front of Mutya.
“You don’t know anything about me,” she snapped. “I’m not some helpless little kid, okay?”
Mutya chuckled, setting the stick down. “Yes, I know, hindi ka na bata. Pero still, hindi ko pa rin maintindihan kung bakit ka nagpatuloy that time. Alam mong hindi mo kaya, pero tumuloy ka pa rin.”
Agos crossed her arms, taking a deep breath to calm herself. “I guess I was trying to prove something.”
Mutya’s smirk faltered, and her eyes softened just a little. “Prove what?”
“Does it matter?” Agos replied with a shrug, not meeting her gaze. She didn’t know why, but she felt exposed, like Mutya could see right through her.
For a moment, there was silence, the ocean’s rhythm filling the void between them. Then Mutya let out a long breath. “Okay, fine. I get it. Pero next time, don't try to prove anything to anyone. Prove it to yourself instead."
Agos looked at her, feeling a warmth spread across her chest. “May point ka.”
Mutya’s eyes twinkled as she nudged Agos with her shoulder. “Next time, just try to keep up with me.”
Agos smiled despite herself, her earlier annoyance fading. “Don’t think I’ll ever catch up with you.”
“Not if you keep backing down.” Mutya winked, then stood up, brushing the sand from her legs. “Tara, langoy tayo. I’ll show you how it's done.”
Agos hesitated but then, with a deep breath, followed Mutya into the water.
The next few weeks passed in a blur of salt and sun. Agos found herself gravitating toward the shore more often, lingering longer than usual, hoping—though she wouldn’t admit it—that she’d run into Mutya again.
And every time she did, it felt less and less like a coincidence.
At first, their interactions were brief. Mutya would be lounging by the water, drawing shapes in the sand with a stick, while Agos would pretend she wasn’t looking for her.
They’d exchange quick remarks—Mutya teasing, Agos snapping back—but neither of them left. It became a quiet routine, a pull neither fully acknowledged but both followed.
One afternoon, the waves were calmer than usual. Agos stood at the water’s edge, feeling the seafoam tickle her toes, when Mutya appeared beside her, holding a flat stone in her palm.
“Agos, have you ever tried skipping rocks?” Mutya asked, rolling the stone between her fingers.
Agos glanced at her. “Nope.”
Mutya hummed. “Figures. Parang ikaw kasi ‘yung tipong tumatalon na lang sa tubig nang hindi nag-iisip…”
Agos scowled. “I do think. Grabe ka manghusga.”
“Sure you do.” Mutya grinned before turning back to the water.
With an easy flick of her wrist, she sent the stone skimming across the surface. One, two, three bounces before it disappeared beneath the waves.
Agos raised an eyebrow. “Okay, that was kinda cool.”
Mutya smirked. “Gusto mo itry?”
Agos shrugged, picking up a stone from the shore. She mimicked Mutya’s motion, but the moment she let go, the rock plopped into the water with a sad little splash.
Mutya snorted. “Wow. That was… nakakahiya.”
“Shut up.” Agos huffed. “How do you do it?”
Mutya stepped closer, reaching for Agos’ hand.
“Here,” she said, guiding her fingers along the stone’s edge. “It’s all in the angle and the wrist. Ang stiff mo kasi masyado.”
Agos stiffened even more at the touch, the warmth of Mutya’s skin against hers making her brain short-circuit. She swallowed hard, forcing herself to focus as Mutya adjusted her grip.
“Relax lang,” Mutya murmured, stepping behind her. “Like this oh.”
With Mutya’s hand still on hers, Agos flicked her wrist again, this time sending the rock bouncing twice before it sank.
“See?” Mutya said, her breath warm against Agos’ ear. “You just needed a little help.”
Agos turned to look at her, heart hammering. She wanted to say something, maybe tease her back, but all that came out was a quiet, “Thanks.”
Mutya grinned before jogging ahead. “Come on, let’s find more rocks.”
What started as fleeting encounters turned into shared afternoons—laughing, teasing, challenging each other.
They raced along the shore, collected shells, and tried to outdo each other in skipping stones. Mutya taught Agos how to properly dive into the waves without getting swallowed, while Agos taught Mutya how to build sandcastles that didn’t immediately crumble.
Years passed, but it never felt that way to Agos. Time moved differently with Mutya—always fast, always fleeting, like the tides pulling at her feet before she could plant them firmly on the shore.
What started as childhood curiosity turned into something deeper, something neither of them needed to name.
They simply were.
Agos and Mutya.
Mutya and Agos.
A pair so inseparable that people stopped referring to them individually.
They practically lived in each other’s homes. Agos would show up at Mutya’s house unannounced, walking past the front door like she owned the place. Mutya’s family had long stopped questioning it.
"Agos, anak, kumain ka na?" Mutya’s father, Mang Elias, would call out whenever he saw her slumped on their couch, flipping absently through an old book.
"Kanina pa po, ‘Tay," Agos would reply, though most of the time, she hadn't eaten yet. She just liked how it felt. Being taken care of, being expected.
Mutya was the same in Agos' home. She knew where everything was, knew how to make herself comfortable.
She had her own toothbrush in Agos’ bathroom, a drawer in her closet. Agos' grandmother adored her, always slipping extra rice onto her plate.
"Mutya, dito ka na mag-hapunan," Lola would say, even though Mutya was already seated, stuffing her face with dried fish and tomatoes.
It was easy. It was home.
And the ocean...
It was theirs. Their mornings, their afternoons, their midnights, all spent in the water. Swimming, floating, laughing. Some days, they would race, kicking against the waves, seeing who could dive the deepest. Other days, they simply drifted, side by side, letting the salt cling to their skin.
One afternoon, Agos caught sight of Mutya absently playing with her necklace as they rested on the shore, the waves licking at their feet. She had seen it countless times.
A gold pendant with the Scorpio symbol, always resting against Mutya’s collarbone, but she never thought to ask about it.
Until now.
"That necklace," Agos murmured, treading water beside Mutya. "You never take it off."
Mutya glanced at her, then down at the pendant resting against her collarbone. She hesitated, as if debating whether to answer.
"Binigay sa akin 'to ni Mama," she finally said. Her voice was quiet. "…before she died."
Agos stilled. She had known Mutya's mother passed away when they were kids, but Mutya rarely spoke about it.
"I’m sorry," Agos said, feeling stupid for even bringing it up.
Mutya shook her head. "Okay lang. I like talking about her sometimes." She smiled, though it was tinged with sadness. "She told me it would always keep me safe. That as long as I wore it, she'd be with me."
Agos swallowed, her throat tight. The ocean around them felt different now, heavier, like it carried more than just water.
"You think it’s true?" Agos asked softly.
Mutya pressed the pendant between her fingers. "Hindi ko alam," she admitted. "But I want to believe it."
Agos nodded. And for a moment, neither of them spoke, letting the waves say what they couldn't.
But something had changed inside Agos.
She looked at Mutya. The curve of her lips, the warmth in her eyes, the way the sunlight kissed her skin.
And suddenly, she knew.
It wasn’t just friendship.
It never was.
Agos had fallen for her. Hard.
Confusion settled over Agos like a storm cloud. She needed answers.
That night, she found herself at Jimena’s house, sitting cross-legged on the floor, hands twisting nervously in her lap. Jimena and her girlfriend Sinag sat across from her, their fingers intertwined, their presence steady.
"Insan, Sinag…" Agos started, licking her lips. "How did you both know?"
Jimena tilted her head. "Know what?"
"You know." Agos exhaled sharply. "Na… hindi kayo… straight."
Jimena and Sinag exchanged a look. Something knowing, something gentle.
"It wasn’t a sudden realization," Sinag admitted. "It was more like… a feeling that was always there. I just didn’t have the words for it when I was younger."
Agos frowned. "Pero how did you figure it out?"
Jimena chuckled, but it wasn’t mocking. Just… understanding. "It’s different for everyone, Agos. Some people just know. Others take years before they finally understand themselves."
Agos swallowed. "And when you did?"
Jimena’s expression softened. "It was... freeing," she said. "And of course… terrifying."
Sinag nodded. "You start seeing the world differently. You notice how people talk about love like it only has one definition. You hear the whispers, the judgment. And you start asking yourself—‘Am I wrong?’"
Agos looked down at her hands. "Were you scared?"
"Syempre naman," Jimena said. "Hindi siya madali, Agos. There’s a lot of fear. Of being different. Of losing people. Of… not being accepted."
Sinag squeezed her hand. "But the thing is, Agos… being yourself isn’t wrong. It’s never wrong."
Agos inhaled sharply. "But what if—what if it changes everything?"
"It might," Jimena admitted. "Some people won’t understand. Some might turn away. But the people who truly love you? They won’t leave. They will understand. They will accept."
Agos felt something crack inside her.
She thought of Mutya. Of the way her presence felt like home, the way her laughter felt like sunlight breaking through the clouds.
She thought of the warmth in her chest whenever they were together.
"I think… " Agos whispered, her voice barely above the sound of her own heartbeat. "I think I'm in love with her."
“Who?”
“Mutya.”
Jimena smiled. "Then that’s your truth."
Agos swallowed hard. "But what if she doesn’t feel the same?"
Sinag leaned forward, her eyes warm. "Then at least you were honest. At least you didn’t spend your life hiding from yourself."
Agos looked at Jimena and Sinag, at their love—open, fearless, real.
She wanted that too.
Even if it hurt.
Even if it changed everything.
But then, just as Agos was about to confess, the realization crashed over her like ocean waves.
It started as a quiet ache when Mutya had texted her that morning.
Mutya : Agos, let's eat sa bahay later. May ipapakilala ako sa'yo!
She didn’t think much of it at first. She had always been the first-person Mutya introduced to new friends. It was their thing. If someone was important to Mutya, then they had to pass through Agos first.
So, she showed up like she always did. Barefoot, still damp from her morning swim, towel draped over her shoulder as she entered the house that felt more like home than her own. She barely even knocked anymore.
Inside, the scent of garlic rice and fried fish filled the air. The sound of Mutya’s laugh echoed from the dining table. And then, she saw him.
A guy.
Tall, lanky, with an easy smile that made Agos’ stomach twist. Mutya turned to her, eyes bright, completely unaware of the way Agos’ world had just shifted.
"Agos! Buti dumating ka na," Mutya said, gesturing for her to come closer. "This is Carlo, my classmate. Carlo, si Agos, my best friend."
Best friend. The words that had once felt like a badge of honor now felt like chains tightening around her chest.
"Nice to meet you," Carlo said, offering a hand.
Agos forced herself to shake it, to muster a polite nod. "Yeah. Same."
Mutya grinned, completely oblivious to the storm brewing inside Agos. "He’s been courting me for a while now."
Something inside Agos shattered.
She barely registered what Mutya said next, something about how Carlo was sweet, how he walked her home, how he made her laugh.
It was background noise to the roaring in her ears.
She felt like an idiot.
How could she have been so blind? So foolish to think—
No. She had never even allowed herself to think it.
Not fully.
Because if she had, she would’ve known this was inevitable. Mutya had always been surrounded by boys, by admirers. Of course, she’d like one of them back. Of course, she’d find someone who could give her the kind of love she deserved.
And it wasn’t Agos.
It was never going to be Agos.
"Agos?" Mutya’s voice cut through the haze. "Okay ka lang?"
Agos swallowed the lump in her throat, forcing a smirk onto her face. "Yeah. Why wouldn’t I be?"
She ignored how her hands felt clammy, how her chest felt tight. She couldn’t fall apart now. Not when Mutya was looking at her with that same warmth, that same trust.
So, she did what she always did. She shoved it down. Buried it deep.
And smiled.
"Carlo, huh?" Agos said, keeping her voice light, teasing. "I hope you know Mutya’s a handful."
Mutya rolled her eyes. "Shut up."
Carlo chuckled. "Don’t worry, I can handle it."
Agos forced out a laugh. "Good luck with that, then."
And just like that, the moment passed.
But inside her, something was breaking.
Silently, without a sound.
And no one—not even Mutya—noticed.
Years passed, and as time went on, Agos found herself watching Mutya from a distance, her heart still quietly aching but now buried under years of friendship and the quiet acceptance of what couldn’t be.
Mutya had gone through a few boyfriends, each relationship fleeting, like temporary fixings for a heart that was always searching for something more.
And Agos? She had silently watched, year after year, as she carried the burden of her unspoken feelings for the girl she knew she could never have.
They were already in college now, and Agos was in her final year, while Mutya was still in her third. Life had changed in many ways, but one thing had stayed the same:
Agos' deep affection for her best friend.
It was around this time, in her senior year, when Agos met someone new—Gani, a girl from her block. Gani had a presence that was calm, steady, and unlike anything Agos had ever known.
It was different from the intense pull she felt toward Mutya, but there was something about Gani that made her want to try.
She wasn’t sure if it was out of desperation to forget Mutya or if it was real, but she decided to let her feelings for Gani grow.
When Gani confessed, it felt like the universe was giving her a way out.
She had to take it.
No matter how much it hurt, no matter how badly she wanted to be with Mutya, she had to bury those feelings. It was the only way to move forward without living in constant pain.
And so, Agos and Gani became official.
She had a girlfriend now, and things shifted. The time she used to spend with Mutya became scarce, filled with excuses of being "busy with schoolwork" and the looming weight of impending graduation.
Mutya noticed, of course. Agos could feel her eyes lingering on her, could sense the distance building between them.
One afternoon, after Agos had skipped out on another hangout to meet Gani for a date, Mutya asked, her voice soft but with a hint of frustration, “Why are you always so busy lately, Agos? Ang tagal na kitang hindi nakakasama. What’s going on?”
Agos felt her chest tighten at the question. She forced a smile, hoping to brush it off. “I know, I know… Finals are coming up, and there’s just a lot of work to do, you know?”
Mutya's brow furrowed, and she took a step closer, her gaze sharp but still tinged with concern. "Really? It’s been weeks, Agos. And every time I ask you to hang out, it’s the same excuse. Schoolwork, schoolwork, schoolwork… Sure ka bang 'yan lang ang dahilan?”
Agos shifted uncomfortably, her heart racing. She could feel the tension building between them, the space between them widening with every passing second. “Yeah, I mean, it’s not just regular schoolwork. Finals na, Mutya, and you know how it gets. It’s a lot to handle.”
Mutya didn’t look convinced. She tilted her head, her lips pressed into a thin line. “I get that school’s important, but this feels different. You’ve been pulling away, Agos. Akala mo ba hindi ko nararamdaman ‘yon? Ang sakit sakit mo na. Miss na miss ko na kaya ang bestfriend ko.”
"But you are not just a bestfriend to me, Mutya." The words echoed in Agos' mind, too heavy to say out loud.
Her throat went dry. She wanted to say something—anything—to reassure Mutya, but the truth felt like it was choking her. Instead, she gave her a quick, nervous laugh.
“Ano ka ba, Mutya, it’s just… just a lot going on, you know?”
Mutya raised an eyebrow, clearly not buying it. “Kilala kita, Agos. You don’t just ‘get busy’ like this. We’ve been friends for years. Why are you acting so distant? Bakit mo ako iniiwasan?”
“Mutya, it’s not… It’s not what you think,” Agos said. She hated how much her chest ached at the thought of explaining it all, but there was no easy way out. “It’s just… it’s just easier this way. I don’t want to drag you into my mess, okay?”
Mutya’s expression softened, but there was a quiet hurt in her eyes. She took a deep breath, looking at Agos with a mix of concern and confusion.
“Easier? Agos, you’re my best friend. And what do you mean by that? What’s going on? Bakit hindi mo sabihin sa akin? Best friend mo nga ako ‘di ba?”
Agos looked away, fighting the emotions that were beginning to swell in her chest. She had to keep her distance. She had to, or else she might lose everything.
“It’s just... school, okay? Babawi ako next time, I promise.”
It wasn’t just the schoolwork. It was the fear—the fear of spending time with Mutya and realizing that she still felt more for her than she could ever say.
The fear that, no matter how much she wanted to stay close, her feelings for Mutya would be her undoing.
So, she kept her distance, pretending that everything was fine, pretending that the friendship they shared was enough to fill the emptiness she felt when she looked at her.
But then, one day, as Agos and Gani were walking together, holding hands, sharing sweet moments in the hallway, Agos caught sight of someone in the distance.
Her breath caught in her throat as her eyes locked with Mutya’s. Mutya stood a few feet away, her gaze flickering between Agos and Gani, then down to the ground.
“Sana sinabi mo na lang yung totoo, Agos. Hindi yung nagsinungaling ka pa na busy ka sa schoolwork, tapos may… girlfriend ka na pala.”
Agos felt the air in her lungs vanish, and before she could say anything, Mutya turned and walked away, her steps quick and determined, the hurt in her eyes unmistakable.
Agos froze, her heart breaking at the realization.
She hadn’t wanted this—hadn’t wanted to hurt Mutya. But in trying to protect herself, she had done exactly that.
Later that night, Agos found herself sitting alone in her room. She was crying, the tears falling freely as the breakdown she had been holding off for so long finally came.
When she saw Mutya earlier, her heart had shattered at the sight of the girl she loved walking away, her expression filled with pain.
But the worst part? Agos had never had the courage to tell her the truth. Not about her feelings.
Not about how much Mutya meant to her.
She had hidden it all because she was so scared.
Scared that Mutya might not accept her, scared that she would lose the one person who had been her constant through everything.
Mutya wasn’t just a best friend to Agos. She was the one who made the world seem like it had color. The one who made her laugh, made her feel alive, made her feel seen. And Agos had been too afraid to show her what was in her heart.
But then, the message came. It was a text from Mutya.
Mutya: Agos, can we meet?
When they finally met in person, Agos couldn’t stop herself from breaking down. She stood before Mutya, her hands shaking, her heart racing in her chest.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered, her voice raw with emotion. “I never meant to lie to you, Mutya.”
Mutya, her face full of hurt and confusion, looked at Agos, her voice trembling.
“Ganun ba kababaw ang tingin mo sa akin, Agos?” she asked, her voice soft but carrying an edge of pain. "Is that really what you think? That I’d just walk away because of something like that? That our friendship isn't deep enough to withstand it? Ikaw naman pala 'yung grabe manghusga sa atin, Agos."
Agos felt her heart shatter even more at the question, tears welling in her eyes. “No, it’s not like that, Mutya. I just—” She paused, unable to find the words. “I didn’t think you could ever accept me for who I am. And I couldn’t bear to lose you.”
Mutya’s expression softened, and she took a step closer, the hurt still present in her eyes but also a touch of understanding.
“Agos…” she started, her voice trembling with emotion. “You think I would leave you just because of that? Do you really think our friendship is that fragile? After eight years, you think I would just throw it all away because of something like that?”
Agos couldn’t speak, couldn’t breathe. The truth hung between them like a heavy weight. She had been so scared, so terrified of losing Mutya that she had never taken the chance to tell her how she felt. And now, standing here with her, it was almost too late.
“Agos,” Mutya said, her voice firm but gentle, “I’ve been your best friend for so long. I’ve been there for you through everything. And I would never, ever leave you just because of something you can’t change about yourself. You don’t have to hide from me. You never have to.”
Mutya smiled softly, her eyes filled with understanding. “You don’t have to be scared of losing me, Agos. I’m not going anywhere. And if you’re ready to be honest with me, then we can take this one step at a time.”
Agos just stood there, the weight of Mutya’s words sinking deep into her chest. The pain, the fear that had kept her silent for so long, all of it felt like it was dissolving with every word Mutya spoke. But even now, after everything, Agos still wasn’t sure if she could take the next step.
“Mutya,” Agos whispered, her voice barely a breath, trembling as she spoke. She stepped back slightly, trying to steady herself, trying to make sense of her swirling emotions. “It’s not just because of that…” She stopped, her throat closing up, her heart pounding so loud she thought Mutya could hear it.
Mutya’s brow furrowed in confusion, and her voice softened as she took another step forward. “Then what is it, Agos? ”
Agos bit her lip, taking in a shaky breath. Her hands trembled as she tried to hold herself together, but the words felt like they would slip away if she wasn’t careful.
She wasn’t ready for this—not really—but it was now or never. If she didn’t say it, it would always haunt her.
“I—” Agos closed her eyes for a moment, willing the tears to stay back. “I’ve always loved you, Mutya.” The words tumbled out before she could even stop them. She opened her eyes, meeting Mutya’s gaze, watching the shock slowly spread across her face. “It’s not just because I’m not straight. It’s because every moment we’ve shared, everything I’ve felt with you, it’s always been more for me. More than just friendship. More than I knew how to admit.”
She paused, taking a step forward, her voice breaking as she continued, “I never thought you’d see me the same way, and I was scared. So scared that if I told you the truth, you’d never look at me the same. I’m not just scared of losing you, Mutya. I’m scared of how I’ve felt about you all this time. And it’s been tearing me apart, every day. But I couldn’t… I couldn’t bear to watch you walk away, even if it meant hiding this from you.”
“Agos…” Mutya whispered, her voice a mix of shock and disbelief. “You’ve always felt that way? And you didn’t tell me?” Her eyes were wide, a mixture of confusion and surprise. “I—” She stopped herself, trying to process everything. “But why, Agos? Why didn’t you say anything?”
Agos swallowed, shaking her head slightly. “Because I thought I would lose you. I thought it would ruin everything we had. I thought you’d never understand. I couldn’t risk it, not after everything we’ve been through.”
Mutya took a step back as she processed the weight of Agos’ confession. Her mind was a whirlwind of emotions—shock, confusion, and a tinge of something she couldn’t quite place.
She looked at Agos, her brows furrowing as she tried to find the right words.
“Agos,” she began, her voice soft but firm, “you do know that I’m... straight, right?” It was the only thing that made sense to her in that moment.
She tried to search Agos’ eyes for an answer, but there was something different now, something that made her heart beat faster and her thoughts scatter.
Agos nodded, her eyes welling up again. “Oo, alam ko. That’s why, for such a long time, I decided not to tell you. Because I knew how you felt, and I didn’t want to risk losing you, not like this.” She paused, taking in a shaky breath. “But it’s been so heavy, Mutya. The weight of all of this. I just couldn’t carry it anymore. That’s why I had to tell you.”
Mutya stood there, frozen, her eyes wide and distant as she tried to process everything. Agos could see the confusion flickering across her face, her lips parted as if she wanted to say something but couldn’t find the words. She watched as Mutya's hands trembled slightly, the way her posture was stiff, almost guarded. There was a certain vulnerability in her expression—an ache Agos could see but couldn’t fully understand.
For a long time, there was nothing but quiet, the sound of their breathing filling the space between them. Mutya swallowed, her voice soft but edged with uncertainty. “I… I don’t know what to say. I don’t know how to react, Agos.” She shook her head slightly, her hands trembling. “I’ve never had to think about something like this before. This... this is all so confusing.”
Agos’ heart sank at the confusion in Mutya’s voice, but she quickly reached out, gently touching her arm, as if to reassure her. “You don’t have to say anything, Mutya. You don’t need to reciprocate my feelings. What’s important is that our friendship is what matters most to me. Nothing can change that.”
Mutya’s gaze softened, her lips parting as though she wanted to say something but couldn’t find the right words. She swallowed, feeling an unfamiliar sensation twist in her chest. It was like something inside her was shifting, but she couldn’t quite identify what it was.
“Can you… give me some time to think?” she asked quietly, her voice full of vulnerability. “I’m really confused right now. It’s just… I’ve never experienced anything like this before.” She paused, trying to explain the turmoil she felt. “I’ve always known who I am. I’ve always been so sure about myself. But now… this feeling—it’s different. It’s not something I ever thought I would feel for you.”
Her voice faltered as she continued, “I don’t even know if I’m ready for this. I didn’t even know this kind of thing could happen to me.” She looked at Agos, her eyes filled with confusion and self-doubt. “I need time to figure this out, to understand what this is. I just don’t know what to make of it all.”
Agos’ heart twisted, but she nodded slowly, understanding the complexity of what Mutya was going through. “Of course, Mutya. Take all the time you need. I don’t want to rush you into anything you’re not ready for.” She took a deep breath, her voice steady despite the vulnerability. “I’m not asking you to change who you are, and I don’t want you to feel like you have to say or do anything because of me. I just needed to be honest with you.”
Mutya’s eyes glistened with unshed tears. She didn’t know what the future held, but for now, the only thing she knew was that she needed time to understand her own feelings before she could even begin to process Agos’.
“Thank you, Agos,” Mutya whispered, her voice soft. “Thank you for telling me. I just… I don’t know what comes next.”
Agos nodded, her chest tight with a mixture of relief and longing, but she could see the genuine turmoil in Mutya’s eyes, and she knew that giving her the space she needed was the right thing.
She stepped back slightly, but before she could say anything more, Mutya reached for the pendant at her neck—the delicate Scorpio necklace that had always been a part of her.
“Agos, hold on to this for now,” Mutya said, her voice trembling just a bit as she unclasped the chain. Her fingers brushed over the gold pendant as she held it out to Agos. “I just need some time to figure things out, to understand what I’m really feeling. And when I do, I promise I’ll come back to you.”
The gesture was quiet but filled with so much weight. Agos’ breath caught in her throat as she looked at the necklace, feeling the quiet depth of the moment. It wasn’t just a necklace—it was something Mutya had worn for as long as Agos could remember, a symbol of her constant, unwavering self. And now, Mutya was offering it to her, as if to signify that she was willing to give something of herself while she sorted through all the chaos inside her.
Agos reached out slowly as she took the necklace.
“Mutya…” She swallowed, the emotion in her chest rising again, but she steadied herself. “You don’t have to give me anything. Pero... salamat. I’ll hold onto this, and I’ll wait. I’ll be here when you’re ready.” She paused for a moment, her heart pounding, and then she added softly, "And if, by any chance, narealize mo na you'll never be ready—that maybe things between us aren't meant to be... because we're not the same, or for any other reason—I just hope you'll still come back to me. Because I'll miss my best friend. Mamimiss kita nang sobra sobra, Mutya."
Mutya nodded, her eyes not leaving Agos’. The silence between them deepened, but this time it felt different—it felt like the beginning of something new, even if neither of them fully understood where it would go. Mutya stepped back, wiping at her eyes as she tried to steady herself.
“I’ll be okay, Agos,” she whispered, though the uncertainty was still clear in her voice. “I just need time.”
With that, Mutya turned, her steps hesitant but determined as she left Agos standing there, the Scorpio necklace clutched in her hand.
Agos stood still for a moment, her fingers wrapped around the pendant, feeling the weight of everything—the love, the fear, the uncertainty.
But more than anything, she felt the tiniest spark of hope.
For now, she would wait, knowing that in time, Mutya would find clarity.