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Everything You Lose Is A Step You Take

Summary:

I am VERY SORRY! but I like angst :)

Jackson Smith has been getting bullied by Exer Campbell for a while now, and he finally snapped.

Or

Re-write of Episode 49 + Episode 50

Notes:

Hi my lovelies :)

TW: Mentions of Death/Suicide, ED’s, Blood and physical violence

Work Text:

Nothing ever goes right for Jackson Smith

 

After what seemed like literal hell that was summed up as bullying, Jackson was snapping. It was all too much for the kid. His hands balled up into fists and he could taste the blood already. Was this a good idea? No. Would he get into huge trouble? Yes. Would it be worth it? 

 

 

Yes.

 

 

He entered the school that had brought him down with only one thought in mind.

 

He will never do this to another student.

 

He walked with a sharp expression, and people glared at him and scoffed. His hands were still in fists and he didn’t look healthy at all, but no one gave a shit about that. He wasn’t someone they liked, or admired, so of course no one would notice that he’s been starving himself. 

 

He ignored the scoffs and spotted a group of people he recognized. It was the reds. 

 

“Jackson-!” Pamela called out before noticing how bad he looked. 

 

“What the fuck- what did he do to you?!” Jackson spat, his hands gesturing up and down at her new ‘look’.

 

“Huh-?” Pamela looked confused, reaching her hand out to touch his shoulder. He shook her off.

 

“Where’s Exer?” He said with an angered tone.

 

No one responded.

 

“Where is he?” 

 

“ANSWER ME GODDAMNIT!” 

 

“We-we don’t know, we haven’t seen him yet.” David mumbled.

 

“Say that the first time, then.” He said, shoving David as he walked past them.

 

“Does he know-?” Brenda asked, looking over at Pamela.

 

No one had told him that Exer and Pamela had made up yet, and after the whole conversation last night, he wasn’t going to listen with an open mind. “Not unless Exer told him.” Pamela sighed.

 

They watched him walk off with only the worst floating in their minds, but there was truly nothing they could do to stop it. Pull him away and he’ll just be more mad.

 

Jackson slammed his stuff into his locker, banging the door shut and glaring at the students who seemed to react to the loud noise. He didn’t care.

 

He continued to walk down the hall when he spotted Exer. 

 

“You.” He yelled, causing Exer to spin around.

 

“Huh-?”

 

“What did you do to her?”

 

“Who?”

 

“Pamela! I saw her and she’s completely changed!” 

 

“I didn’t-“

 

“How is it that she and the reds are all buddy buddy now? What kind of curse did you put on her?”

 

“Wait, jackson. Don’t get it all wrong, I fixed things with her before you found out about-“

 

“Why didn’t you tell me then?!”

 

“Woah- wait-“

 

“No! You’re a fucking liar! You probably bewitched her!” 

 

“Jackson, you don’t have to yell!! Everyone can hear you!”

 

“Do you think I give a shit?! Did you care when you made me pass out in front of the entire school? People could see that. Did you care when I started seeing shit? When my aunt and uncle thought I was losing it?! Did you care?”

 

“Jackson-“

 

“No. Was I just another person who didn’t matter to you? Was I just a fun game? Was this all for nothing?! Did I suffer for your entertainment?!”

 

“Jackson, I was scared-“

 

“HOW DO YOU THINK I FELT?! I WAS SCARED. I WAS TERRIFIED.”

 

“..”

 

“I couldn’t be myself anymore. I couldn’t STAND myself anymore. I thought that everyone’s lives would be better if I just died. So I tried. And tried. And you think your bullying didn’t affect me? Did you really think that this wouldn’t have consequences?”

 

“Jackson, I-“

 

“No. You don’t get to make everything seem fine with your excuses. I don’t care if you were scared, or mad. I am a human being too. Do you think I wanted to see your magic?! No! It wasn’t my choice! And you just tortured me for nothing! You ruined my life!! But I wouldn’t even need magic to screw your life up, like you did for me-“

 

“STOP!” Exer screamed, his magic slamming jackson against the lockers. 

 

 

Jackson hit the lockers with a bang and didn’t look like he could ever get up.

 

“Fuck- shit oh my god, jackson-! Are you alright-?!” 

 

Jackson didn’t reply as he stood up. 

 

“Pl-please! Forgive me! My magic’s going crazy, I don’t know what’s happening to me! I swear I didn’t mean to do that-!”

 

And with that, Jackson punched Exer. 

 

“J-jackson! What the hell-!” He screamed. 

 

Brenda and David had heard that scream from whatever hall they were running in.

 

“Fuck- That was Exer!” David yelled, running off to find the voice.

 

“David, wait up-!” Brenda yelled out. 

 

Punches kept hitting Exer’s face and he could feel the blood spilling and his head spinning. There was a little voice in his head that kept telling him ‘You deserve this after what you did to him.’ 

 

“This? This is for playing with me.”

 

Another punch landed.

 

“This is for fooling everyone around you. For all the trouble you caused.”

 

Jackson just kept on punching. He didn’t feel like he could stop, and if he was being completely honest, it felt good. Really good. 

 

“This is for taking advantage of me, and for what you did to Pamela.”

 

His fist was almost at Exer’s face before Exer reached out and stopped it.

 

“Jackson- please-!” 

 

“Oh, so now you get to say when this hell stops? Where was that for me?! Please! Stop fooling around and fight back!” 

 

“No! I don’t want to!”

 

“Awh, what happened to the badass bully I met?!”

 

“Please- it hurts-“

 

“You hurt me. Ever consider that?”

 

Exer didn’t respond.

 

“Tell me, Exer, is this what you wanted-“

 

“GET OFF OF HIM!” David yelled, jumping on to jackson and pushing him off.

 

“What is wrong with you, you asshole?! He just wants to fix things! You can’t hit him for fixing things!!” David screeched, holding jackson down.

 

“This has nothing to do with you, David!” Jackson yelled, as Exer pulled David off of him. 

 

“So what?! You deal with Exer, you deal with me too!” David exclaimed.

 

“Oh yeah? Fine!” Jackson clapped back, kicking David in the face and knocking him out. “You’ve been an asshole too, after all!”

 

“David-!!” Exer yelled as the boy fell into his arms. 

 

“Jackson, what’s wrong with you?! Everything was going so well!” Brenda cried out.

 

“Don’t make shit worse, Brenda, step aside!” 

 

“No! I’m not stepping aside after you hurt my brother!!”

 

“Oh yeah?! I’m not hurting him anymore then you will. I’m not the one who keeps hiding things from him!”

 

“J-jackson?!” 

 

“That’s right! I fucking hope he’s listening cause he deserves to know this! Last year your sister and your best friend were-!”

 

“Not your job to tell.” Ron said, his hand covering Jackson’s mouth.

 

“Like you can talk! All you’ve done here is spread gossip, and that’s impressive for someone who can barely talk! Yet, somehow, you never noticed I was dying-!”

 

This seemed to shut everyone up, but he kept going.

 

“All of you’ve have been a goddamn nightmare since day one. I’m so done with you.” He scoffed.

 

He was about to go on before Pamela stood in front of him.

 

“Go on.” She said.

 

“Huh-?!”

 

“I was an asshole to you too, remember? Insult me then.”

 

“No-no-!” 

 

“Don’t be shy.” 

 

“No!” 

 

“Come on! You can give them all this shit, why not me-?!”

 

“Why didn’t you notice?” 

 

“Huh-?”

 

“You didn’t notice that I wasn’t doing okay. You didn’t notice I wasn’t eating. Did you even care about me? Was I just some fling that meant nothing?!” 

 

“Jackson-..”

 

“No. I’m sorry, but im done. With all of you.”

 

“You students should be in class-!!”

 

They all turned around to see the principal, who looked at them in fear. 

 

“Who did this to you?!” The principal asked.

 

“It was Smith, sir. He’s crazy.” Ricky mumbled. 

 

“Yeah, such a disappointment, huh?” Marty muttered.

 

“No sir! It was me.” Exer spoke up.

 

“How do you expect me to believe that when you’re bleeding on the floor?” The principal asked. 

 

“Smith, let’s go.” He spoke, gesturing for Jackson to follow him. “Kids, please take Mr. Miller to the infirmary.”

 

Brenda and Exer nodded, helping David up as they watched Jackson walk off.

 

“Oh my god.” Brenda mumbled as they walked towards the infirmary. 

 

“Kid, never in my life did I think something like this would happen! You know what we think about violence. Have we taught you nothing?!” Jackson’s tio spoke in the office while jackson sat in silence.

 

“Jackson, why did you do this?” 

 

“Could you please answer us?”

 

“Jackson? Your tia is talking to you.”

 

Jackson really wanted to tell them everything, but it was all too much for him. He couldn’t get a word out. His mind was exploding and going crazy as he sat in the warm office in an uncomfortable cheap chair. 

 

“Principal Phil?” A woman spoke, entering the room. 

 

“Ah, thank you for coming, Miss Wendy. Mr. And Ms. Smith, this is Wendy Williams, our school counselor.” 

 

“We don’t know why this happened.”

 

“Well, I’ll bet you’re as surprised as we are.”

 

“We’ll take care of this, I promise.”

 

“I’m sure. In the meantime, Jackson will attend detention.”

 

“Only detention?” Jackson mumbled, his voice sounding soft and innocent, like a child. 

 

“It’s not regular detention. For one month, you will be staying after school every day, including Saturdays. Because of our zero tolerance policy, we cannot allow violence and have to take action immediately. You’ll be joining me starting today.” Miss. Wendy spoke.

 

Jackson nodded and sighed, slumping deeper into the chair. He looked around before getting up and following Wendy into the classroom used for detention, the sight of three kids sat infront of him. 

 

“Look at the positive side! You’ll meet new people! The regulars in here are pretty sweet, I promise.” 

 

As they walked in, she spoke again. “Please give a warm welcome to our newest attendee!” She smiled, gesturing for Jackson to sit down.

 

Maybe this wouldn’t be that bad?