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"I just find it hard not to flirt with attractive people." James argued.
They were sat in the comman room, Remus on one sofa attempting to read his book which Sirius kept 'accidentally' kicking from where he lay back on the sofa next to him long, skinny legs thrown over Remus lap. Peter was sat on the floor nearby, fruitlessly furrowing his brow at his potions homework he had been attempting for the past hour. Finally James was sat on an armchair next to Sirius side of the sofa attempting to defend himself as Sirius' teased him about his failed attempts to flirt with Lily earlier in the day.
"Is that so, why don't you flirt with me then?" Sirius teased, smiling widly at his friend. Remus' jaw tightened slightly watching Sirius and James from the corner of his eye.
"Why do you want me to, Padfoot?" James replied in a mock flirtatious voice, leaning forward in his chair toward his best friend. Remus looked up at him fully then not hiding the distain on his face.
Don't you dare touch him Potter.
"Because that can be arranged, darling." James continued leaning forward to hook a finger under Sirius chin pulling his face towards him until they were mear center meters apart.
Before Remus could fully understand what he was doing he had pushed Sirius legs off him, sending them thudding to the floor, standing next to James, harshly retching James hand away from Sirius.
"Get off him Potter." Remus commaned voice tense and low, he watched James face contort from confusion to fear and then...pain? He looked down to where James was looking focused on where Remus' tight grip had caused James hand to go bright red from lack of circulation.
Remus shook his head slightly coming back to his thoughts. This was James. Loving, kind, caring but completely platonic James, he had no intentions with Sirius, Godric he could hardly admit he found anyone other than Lily even slightly attractive. Yet Remus had gotten so angry at him because...? Fuck, he was flirting with Sirius and only he could flirt with Sirius.
He let go of James hand watching him flex it as he regained feeling in his fingers.
"Fuck sorry." He muttered, the remaining anger in his voice making it sound less genuine, before turning on his heels and stalking out the comman room. Distantly he could hear Sirius call out to him though the words were muffled by the onslaught in his head so he just called back,
"Library." and hoped it answered whatever he was asking.
His angry footsteps echoed down the halls, people moving out their way to let him through probably sensing that he was too pissed off to care if someone was in his way. He was about halfway to the library before a hand clamped down on his shoulders, he was about to turn and shout at Sirius who had no doubt come looking for him, wanting dumb shitty explaination for feelings Remus didn't understand before he saw Lily's ginger hair come into view, sighing heavily.
"I thought you were Sirius, I was going to shout my head off at you." Remus sighed not stopping for Lily who as still lagging behind slightly.
"Yeah well apparently you had no problem going at James." He could tell Lily wasn't accusing of blaming him for anything, just questioning, but godric couldn't he have five fucking minutes before someone came integrated him. Remus sped up hoping if he went fast enough Lily would get the hint and leave him alone, but Lily was nothing if not determined.
"For someone who needs a cane you can walk bloody fast." Lily complained practically jogging every few steps to keep up. Suddenly Remus could feel his hip throbbing begging him to stop, almost as if Lily's words herself had brought on the pain. He must have left his cane in the stupid comman room. The pain only sufficed to annoy him even further.
"Remus stop." Lily said firmly grabbing him by the shoulder and spinning him to face her, holding firm as Remus attempted to spin out her grip.
"What's going on?"
"Its just the moon." Remus grumbled, rolling his eyes, jurking his shoulder to shrug her off, Lily let go after knowing Remus wouldn't storm off again.
He was sure some of it was the moon. Tommorrow night was the full and it only made him more susceptible to becoming unreasonably angry for no apparent reason. Not to mention the absolute agony it caused in his hip only making it all worse.
He often lashed out at his friends - all to often Sirius - who had all taken to being extra careful around him during that time of the month. He'd feel bad about it once the bubbling anger subsided he often did, but there was also something comforting about the anger, the way it ridded all other fears and worry from his mind for red rage, it was oddly calming in an ironic way. But it was more than just the moon even if he didn't want to admit it.
"Sure, but its more than that." Apparently Lily knew that too. Remus knew the look on Lily's face, the 'I know somethings wrong and your not getting out of telling me look'. Sometimes it was Remus favourite, when he had something he knew he needed to tell someone but really didn't want to, other times - like right now - he hated it and wished she'd just drop it like James or Pete did to avoid conflict especially at this time of month.
" There's really not." Remus attempted to resist. Lily only shook her head slightly.
"Where are you going?"
"Library."
"Not anymore. Come to lake its a nice day." We can talk, left unsaid between them. Remus wanted to fight he really did but he could never fight Lily not like Sirius or James or even Mary and Marlene when they deserved it, Lily's always been different he's never been able to resist her he doesn't think he ever will.
" Fine." Remus sighed making the annoyance in his voice clear, Lily smiled slightly at him before looping his arm in hers and walking him outside.
They settled down under a tree near the lake where they usually came to read or study or else hide from whatever chaos their friends were involved in. Lily let Remus settle down gently playing with his fingers before asking,
" So whats up?"
" I told you its just the moon." Remus responded if just to delay the inevitable.
" Don't lie to me Remus Lupin, you've been acting off for weeks."
Remus looked down at his legs extended out in front of him. It wasn't that he didn't want to tell Lily, she was his best friend. It was more he was embarrassed to admit what had gotten him so frustrated.
Embarrassed to admit he was so annoyed because of the wierd rise in the number of girls flirting with Sirius. More of them waving to him in the comman room or in the corridors. More of them staring at him wistfully from across the great hall. More of them stricking up conversation for no real reason other to say they spoke to Sirius Black. More of them touching him. More touching his shoulder, his arms, his knees, his hair. Just more, more, more constantly.
It was getting exhausting. Even more so that Sirius entertained them for atleast a little bit. Smiling at the ones who waved or furthering the conversation if only to laugh about them stuttering over their words after they left. Remus knew realistically they were never going to get anywhere, but it got exhausting having to remind himself constantly that Sirius was his and his only.
It had gotten to the point that Remus had began making excuses to keep Sirius in the dorm or the comman room atleast. Exaggerating how much his hip hurt so Sirius would stay and keep him company or asking Sirius for help with his homework knowing he could do it faster without his boyfriend there. It was shitty thing to do he knew that, which was exactly why he couldn't tell Lily.
"So? Why did you have a go at James?"
"How did you know I had a go at him?" He could tell Lily was getting frustrated at him avoiding the question but she also knew she could only pressure Remus so far otherwise he would shut up completely and never tell.
"I saw you huffing out the comman room and asked James and Sirius what happened."
"Which was?" maybe if Lily didn't know the whole truth he could spin it slightly, save some of the embarrassment
"That James was jokingly flirting with Sirius and you went all possessive Remus on him."
Remus frowned, or maybe not.
"What's going on Rem? I know you can be a bit insecure sometimes but you know James would never go after Sirius, even if by some odd miracle he did like Sirius, which he definitely doesn't, he wouldn't do that to you or Sirius." Lily was looking at him with such consern it made Remus heart ache, he didn't deserve this girl.
" I know."
"Then what is it? " Liky prodded gently.
"It's everyone bloody else!" Remus blurted, "It's this fucking onslaught of girls who are fucking obsessed with him. Who take any opportunity to shove themselves in his face, without any bloody care who else is around. Its like their waiting around every fucking corner. Can't walk 10 bloody feet without 'hi Sirius', 'how are you Sirius', 'your hair looks great today Sirius', ' will you have my fucking babies Sirius'! Its exhausting. And it wouldn't even be half bad if he didn't bloody entertain it! They'd piss off eventually if he didn't give them that fucking handsom smile and joke about with them. I just wish they'd fuck off and get they're hands of my fucking boyfriend!"
Lily reached up to gently stroke Remus arm smiling at him,
" See doesn't it feel better to actually tell people how your feeling instead of bottling it up and taking out on poor James."
" No." Remus said sounding like a petulant child causing Lily to laugh at him.
"Have you spoken to Sirius?"
"No because you know what he's like. He'll take it as some kind of personal attack and we'll just end up arguing, again"
"Mm." Lily hummed in agreement, "You have to talk to him Remus, he's just going to keep doing it if you don't tell him its upsetting you."
Remus groaned throwing his head back against the tree, damn Lily Evans and her comman sense. Lily just laughed at him slightly,
" Am i wrong?"
"No. " Remus complained throwing his arms out in exasperation, "That's the annoying thing."
"Remus he's your boyfriend, just talk to him for gods sake."
Remus rotated his head still leaning on the tree to look at her, his mind reeled for some reason not to.
Its not that Remus didn't like talking to Sirius, of course he loved it. Loved hearing what Sirius had on his mind, his stupid jokes or even just to listen to his beautiful low voice. Yet it was difficult to bring stuff up to him sometimes. Sirius would either make one massive joke out of it or he would take it way to seriously and make his black family anger come out and they'd end up shouting at eachother for who knows how long.
But he had too. He knew Lily was right it would just make it worse if he let it fester any longer . Either way he knew Lily would never let him just keep going now he had told her why he was so angry.
They sat under the tree for a little while longer, Remus listening as Lily complained about some girls in her herbology lesson. That was until Lily stood up abruptly, commenting how cold it had gotten and helping Remus too his feet. Lily kept her arm looped around Remus, acting as a make-shift cane, as they walked back into the castle.
Remus would be lying if he said he didn't accentuate the pain in his hip so they would walk slower and therefore delay the inevitable converstation with Sirius. Unfortunately for him they didn't even make it to the Griffindoor tower before they ran into Sirius just outside the library.
"There you are Moons!" Sirius called pounding towards them, "I just asked some of you study session kids where you were and they said you hadn't gone to the library. I was just about to go back to the dorm and get the map." He was smiling but Remus could see the slight consern in his eyes, looking over at Lily for any clues as to what was up with Remus.
" Rem has something he'd like to talk to you about." Lily comment sweetly, causing Remus to spin his head towards her shooting her a panicked look. 'Fuck you' he attempted to say with his eyes, well no getting out of this now. He could lie make something up but deep down he knew Lily was right might aswell get it over with.
"Does he?" Sirius turned to him, head tilted in curiosity, possibly a little fear.
"Ummm...yeah. Not here though." Remus added looking around at all the people wondering the halls.
"Dorm?" Sirius suggested.
"Dorm."
The walk back was quiet, apart from Remus worried thoughts, Lily still acting as a cane while Sirius walked next to them. As they walked through the painting to the comman room Remus saw that Mary and Marlene had joined James and Pete in their usual spot, all turning to look at them. Lily squeezed his hand as vote of confidence before going and sitting with Mary and Marlene.
James glancing at Remus as he walked towards them, wating for Remus to say something but instead he grabbed his cane from against the sofa they were sitting at before continuing to the staircase to the dorms. He could deal with James later, right now he needed to talk to Sirius before he backed out.
Sirius shut the dorm door behind him, flopping down onto Remus' bed before sitting up cross legged, looking up at Remus expectingly.
"Alright whats up?" Remus hesitated before trepidly sitting down opposite Sirius.
"I'm sorry for snapping earlier."
"I don't think its me you need to apologise to." Sirius commented, not quite angry but still protective over his best friend.
"I know, but I need to talk to you first."
"Alright?" Sirius looked scared, searching in Remus for any sign of what was going on.
'You can do this.' Remus told himself, 'Its not that difficult, just talk to your boyfriend about something thats bothering you, thats what your ment to do. A nice constructive conversation that wouldn't end in fighting at all.'
Sirius hand on his broke his train of thought, thumb rubbing over his hand,
"You can talk to me Moons, whatever it is." Remus looked up at Sirius, the sift gentle look in his eyes, feeling his worry disappear slightly, hesitating before saying,
"I got really jealous when James was flirting with you."
"Well yeah, I guessed that. Why I don't know though. You know that would never happen right? Like I love James but he's like a brother I would never ev-"
"I know!" Remus interrupted, before flushing slightly at his outburst.
"Okay...what is it then?" Sirius looked so genuinely conserned it made Remus heart ache, he could do this, he had to do this.
"I-don't-like-it-when-girls-flirt-with-you" Its all came out in one long hurried word. For a moment Remus wondered if Sirius had even heard, as he sat perfectly still staring.
"Oh Moons." Sirius sighed.
"Don't. I was being stupid its fine really." Remus turned red being to stand up before Sirius hand connected to his stopped him.
"Sit down?" Sirius asked softly and Remus obliged, "There's noone else in this school I would rather be with than you Moony."
"Not even Minnie." Remus joked attempting to break the somber atmospheric he had created.
"Shut up you prat I'm trying to be serious, " They both paused for a moment both resisting the joke, chuckling slightly before Sirius continued, "Your the only one Remus, I promise."
He knew that. He knew Sirius would never leave him but that wasn't the point. The point was everyone going after him like he was free real estate, up for the taking. Obviously he wasn't suggesting they came out but it would be nice not to fear turning each corner incase some random girl jumped all over his boyfriend.
"Your missing the point." Remus sighed exasperated, "I'm fed up of these fucking girls fawning over you everywhere we go. Its like we can't go anywhere without them surrounding you and its getting exhausting to act like its all okay. Fuck Sirius I'm being given bloody love letters to give to you, I've had 5 this week! How do you think that feels?"
Sirius looked at him for a moment, processing before his jaw tightened,
" And thats my fault is it?", he snapped back, pulling his hand away from Remus.
" Well it hardly helps when you egg them along" Remus cried waving his hands.
"I do not egg them along!"
"Yes you do! You entertain their fucking conversations, you give them that bloody smile that you know makes anyones knees go weak, you don't even stop them when they start feeling you up. How is that not egging them along?"
"Its called being nice Remus. I'm hardly going to look at them and tell them to fuck off am I?"
"Might be nice every once and a while, instead of forcing your boyfriend to watch girls hit on you 24/7!"
"No ones making you watch. Your overeggerating anyway its not that bad!"
"For you! Because you drink up every second of it. Because the minute someone gives you and inch of attention you flock to it like a moth to a flame with no care for whose there or how they feel."
Remus had hit a nerve he could tell by the way Sirius face hardened, but he couldn't really bring himself to care.
"Or maybe your just too fucking insecure to deal with anyone else finding your boyfriend attractive, too afraid I'm just going to up and leave you like everyone else."
"Your one to talk about insecurity."
"I'm not the one snapping at my best friend for having a joke."
"It's not about James!"
Sirius paused for a second taking a breath and when he replied he was no longer shouting but still very clearly agitated.
"I don't get what you want me to do, Remus. I can't stop people from having crushes on me." Remus ran his hands through his hair frustrated.
"Just stop flirting back with them."
"I don't think I am." Sirius retorted, brow furrowed in confusion.
"Well you are so." Remus responded curtly. Sirius closed his eyes for a second breathing heavily, shoulders begining to relax,
"Sorry," he sighed, all his anger dissapating, reaching forward for Remus hand again, "I didn't realise it was upsetting you this much."
Remus ran his toungue along his teeth, slight anger still sizzling inside him, a small sick part of him upset they had stopped shouting because now this anger had nowhere to go, it was just sitting needlessly inside him. So he stayed silent lips squeezed close so he didn't start shouting agian.
"I would have stopped if I had known." Sirius lifted Remus hand to his lips kissing his knuckles softly, Remus grabbed to keep hold of some of his anger not ready to let go but Sirius made it difficult when he was being this sweet.
"How long has it been bothering you?" Sirius asked.
"Couple months." Remus responded looking down at their laps. He could feel Sirius looking at him sadly, sighing.
"Promise to tell me if something like that is bothering you again?"
"Promise."
Part of them both knew it was an empty promise. Neither had ever been very good at communication, bringing up their problems, actually talking rather than shouting about them. But they were getting better. An argument like that used to leave them not talking for days so this was an improvement even if they hadn't gotten rid of the shouting yet.
" Come here." Sirius said pulling Remus into a kiss from the back of his neck. Sirius began slow but soon Remus took control pushing all his remaining anger into kissing Sirius instead of shouting. Sirius let out a sound of surprise as Remus pushed him down onto the bed, straddling his hips, black hair spayed out on the pillow. Sirius smiled up at him, desire in his eyes making butterflies in his stomach.
"Pretty prat." Remus sighed leaning down to his him again, hands working to undo his shirt, while running kisses down Sirius jawline.
"Mark me up." Sirius groaned rolling his hips into Remus, causing him to groan at how hard Sirius already was. Remus never one to disappoint moved down Sirius' now bare chest tracing kisses as he went, stopping just inbetween his nipples to begin sucking at his skin.
" Higher." Sirius moaned, Remus finshed that hicky smiling at the blooming red and purple before moving to Sirius collarbone the highest he could get without the mark showing over his school uniform. He licked the hollow of his collarbone before begining to suck their aswell.
"Higher." Sirius repeated, Remus brow furrowed pulling back to look at Sirius who protested at the lack of contact.
"I can't go any higher Pads you won't be able to cover it."
"Exactly." Sirius replied voice still airy as he caught his breath, hips rolling into Remus desperate for any friction.
"Padfoot stop." Remus commanded holding Sirius hips down with his hands to gain his full attention,
"Good boy." Remus teased, enjoying the way Sirius closed his eyes and sighed at the nickname.
"You want people to see the marks? "
"Yes." Sirius answered bluntly hoping to speed up the conversation so they could get back to it.
"But then they'll know we're seeing eachother."
"No, they'll know I'm seeing someone." Remus looked at Sirius confused before he continued, "You want the girls to leave me alone don't you? What better way than to make them think I'm with someone, even if they don't know who?"
Remus had to admit it was a good idea. They probably would leave Sirius alone if they knew he was fucking someone else. Plus the thought of Sirius walking around school covered in marks Remus gave him was unreasonable hot.
"You sure?" Remus asked.
"Yes. Now get back to shagging me." Remus chuckled.
"Manners."
"Please fuck me Moony."
"Thats more like it."
Remus lent forward and began sucking hickeys into Sirius perfect pale neck, and if he came extra hard at the thought everyone seeing them the next day nobody needed to know.
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Remus awoke to the feeling of the gentle weight being lifted off his hole body, Sirius grunting as moved to sit upright. Remus groaned wrapping his arms around Remus tighter to prevent him from moving.
"I need to get up Moons."
"No." Remus groaned burying his face in Sirius hair, "Stay."
"I can't games in a few days James'll kill be if I miss practice." Sirius laughed attempting to pry Remus arms off him.
"Screw James." Remus muttered voice still croaky from sleep.
"Uh-huh you tell him Moons." Sirius muttered absencemindedly as he managed to pry Remys sleepy arms from around his body. He sat upright on the bed leaning forward to give Remus a kiss on the forehead.
"I love you, I'll see you later." Just like that he was gone.
Remus did apologise to James for his outburst once James had come up to the dorm for bed, the previous night, Remus dressed in pajamas, Sirius still naked hidden within the covers. James had understood it wasn't really about him though had saved Remus the embarrassment of having to explain the real reason why he was so jealous. He was sure James had figured it out for himself though.
Now, Remus was sat eating his breakfast, Peter sat opposite him like usual, Lily to his left Mary and Marlene sat opposite her. Remus was listening to Lily and Mary discuss a book they had read recently about the Suffergette movement, when James and Sirius walked into the Great Hall, still in their Quidditch uniform sweaty. Yet the thing that stood out to Remus the most was the three bright purple hickeys on his neck not even attempted to be hiden under his red and gold jersey.
The boys sat in their normal seats - Sirius next to Remus, James next to Pete. Remus caught Mary and Marlene staring at Sirius and then at Remus his face flushing.
"Morning Moons." Sirius greeted softly smirking at his flushed face.
"What are you two staring at?" Lily asked Mary and Marlene, looking around for what could possibly have their attention.
"I didn't know you were so possessive Remus." Marlene laughed.
"Its not really a surprise we all know Remus was the top" Mary replied causing Pete to choke slightly on his drink. Lily to frown in confusion turning to Remus before peering around him to Sirius catching sight of the hickeys covering his neck.
"Remus Lupin, you didn't!" She exclaimed. Causing Remus to sink in his seat in embarrassment, yet he was unable to hide the smile on his face.
"He's proud of it too, you dirty bastard." Mary laughed.
"Should have seen Prongs face when he saw me this morning, looked like he'd seen a ghost." Sirius laughed, gently squeezing Remus knee under the table before pulling back.
"I'm sorry I wasn't expecting my best friends neck to be an entirely different colour when i woke up this morning." James replied sacrsastically, all of them laughing.
"Sirius." A feminine voice called from behind them, Remus turned to see Rachel Linch, 5th year, Ravenclaw, and proud member of the Sirius Black fan club.
"Hi Rachel." Sirius greeted chipper, causing Remus to sigh roll his eyes and turn back to his toast, clearly Sirius had already forgot what they ahd spoken about. Which was fine he could deal with it, he would have to deal with it.
Rachel continued to talk though Remus wasn't listening, not like she would have had anything important to say anyway, that was until Sirius gently patted his arm to get his attention.
"Can I have your wand Moons, forgot mine in the dorm?"
"For?" Remus asked rasing an eyebrow.
"To tie my hair up." Sirius said as if it was obvious.
"Obviously, silly me." Remus said sarcastically handing over his wand watching as Sirius tied up his hair using it, reveling the purple marks all up his neck.
You cheeky prat.
"So I went up to him and sai-" Rachel stopped mid sentence looking at Sirius neck, Remus didn't hide the subtle smile on his face.
"Go on?" Sirius prompted, smirk on his face.
"What are they?" Rachel asked stood like statue in shock.
"What these?" Sirius asked pointing at his neck, "There hickeys Rachel, thought you would know that with all the hookups you were flaunting the other week."
She made a little sound of surprise, turning red, "I know what a hickey is! Where did it come from?"
"Well when a Mummy and a Daddy love eachother very much-"
"You are a child Sirius Black. A discusting child." Rachels face wrinked with discust before turning on her heels and storming out the great hall.
Sirius turned to Remus proud smile on his face, Remus smiling back more conserved than Sirius but just as happy. Remus reached forward to squeeze Sirius knee whispering in his ear a quiet,
"Thank you."
Sirius reached forward to place a hand over Remus under the table, "Anything for my Moony."