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It was the morning after him and Skeppy had stayed up late, Skeppy having a drink in hand, laughing, sitting too close for comfort. Hayech still remembers the slight red tint to Skeppy's cheeks, still remembers the warmth of his skin when he sat a little too close and their arms pressed together. He remembers the way his and Skeppy's gazes met, he remembers the way his heart pounded against his ribs- for a moment, he thought it was going to beat out of his chest. He remembers the way Skeppy tenderly placed a hand on his cheek, guiding their faces together, remembers the way he could feel Skeppy's breath hot on his lips, the way Skeppy's hand was so cold yet his fingers felt like branding irons on his face, he remembers the shaky breath Skeppy exhaled, the scent of what he'd been drinking lingering on his breath. Hayech remembers the way his own eyes fluttered shut as he leaned his head forward, tears beginning to form in his eyes with anticipation.
He remembers the way Skeppy's lips met his, remembers the way Skeppy's other hand found its way onto his hip, guiding him into Skeppy's lap, despite Hayech being the physically larger one of the two. He remembers the way he held him so tenderly when he let his tears fall, remembers the way Skeppy's thumb brushed away the tears on his cheeks, remembers all of it.
He also remembers that Skeppy was by no means a lightweight, but even he had a limit. And he just so happens to have crossed it. Hayech had stayed up practically all night, making sure Skeppy was okay, that he was taken care of when he woke up in the middle of the night.
This morning, Skeppy had walked out of Hayech's room- Hayech had let him take his bed, because he'd been throwing up and didn't want Skeppy to be uncomfortable on his couch- with his hair messy, Hayech's t-shirt practically swallowing him, and Hayech smiled at the sight.
"Good morning, sleepyhead," Hayech teased, raising an eyebrow at Skeppy.
"Mmh... What happened last night?" Skeppy asked, gesturing toward his arm that had "DON'T FORGET!!" written in sharpie on it. "I don't even remember writing this, what the hell was I not supposed to forget?" His words slurred together as his eyes drifted shut, a hand coming to rest on the doorframe to steady himself.
"...What?" Hayech's stomach dropped.
Skeppy shrugged. "You weren't drinking, right? You said you don't drink," he mumbled, walking over to the kitchen where Hayech stood, sitting on one of the chairs at the bar. "Surely you remember what this-" He extended his arm, laying his head down on the countertop, trying to block out the light from the window. "What this meant, right?"
Hayech's eyes shut for a moment. Skeppy didn't remember. Even though Hayech remembered all of it, Skeppy remembered none of it. Not a single thing. He turned his back, returning to making the pancakes he'd been making. "I don't, no. You must've written it after I put you to bed." Hayech bit back, a lump forming in his throat as he tried to choke back tears, forcing his voice to remain steady.
"Oh," Skeppy sighed. "It's alright. If I forgot, it probably wasn't important anyway."
Hayech went rigid, his spine straightening. His heart lurched, and he was sure he was going to throw up for a moment, tears welling up in his eyes. Instead of saying anything- anything at all, correcting Skeppy, telling him what happened, fuck, even going over there and kissing him senseless- he just.. shrugged. He flipped the pancake on the pan, swallowing the lump in his throat, turning around and giving Skeppy a stack of pancakes.
Skeppy looks up at Hayech, dark circles under his eyes, and he looked like he wasn't feeling good in the slightest (which Hayech wishes he could take away, suddenly wishing he was the one who drank so he didn't have to remember what happened last night). "I- I'm not really that hungry."
"Eat," Hayech muttered, reaching a hand up to mess with his own bangs, pushing them out of the way of his glasses. "You have a hangover. This'll help you."
Skeppy rolled his eyes, but a soft smile crossed his face. "Ever so caring, you are. Thank you," he said quietly, reaching a hand out to grab Hayech's arm.
The touch was simple. He wanted a hug, but Hayech could barely stand the sight of his face. He couldn't think straight, nausea and anxiety settling in his stomach, blending into one feeling, tears threatening to spill again. He wanted to go back to last night, push Skeppy away, he didn't want to feel this anymore. He didn't want to remember anymore.
Yet he couldn't find it in him to pull away.
He let Skeppy pull him in, let Skeppy's head rest on his chest, let Skeppy's arms snake around his waist as he held him close.
"I know I'm kind of an awful drunk sometimes, I don't really know my own limit. Sorry you had to deal with me," Skeppy mumbled, his voice so small, sounding scared, even though he hadn't a proper recollection of what happened.
Hayech wrapped his arms around Skeppy, carding his fingers through his hair. "It's okay, you're my- You're my friend, and that's what friends do, yeah?" His voice wavered as he spoke, threatening to crack, let everything spill.
Skeppy nodded. "Thank you," he mumbled, his fingers digging harder into Hayech's waist, as though he was afraid if he let go, Hayech would dissipate into nothing, as though he were afraid this was nothing more than a dream. "You have.. no idea how much y- how much *this* means to me."
Hayech feels a tear roll down his cheek, and hears Skeppy sniffle ever so slightly, making him forget everything else in that moment. "Skeppy?"
Skeppy hums, not trusting himself to speak.
"A-Are you crying?"
Skeppy pulls Hayech impossibly closer, turning his whole body so he can cling onto Hayech, a sob tearing through his body as the reality that Hayech had to deal with him drunk finally sank in. "I- I'm so sorry, I'm sorry, I- I should've stopped after the first couple drinks, I don't even remember most of last night, I don't usually drink that much, *I'm so sorry-*"
Hayech shushed him comfortingly, despite the anger forming in his chest. He wanted to agree, tell Skeppy that he went too far, wanted to tell him to get an Uber home, but instead he just.. sat there, trying to comfort Skeppy in the only way he knew how, letting the older man sob into his chest. He really, really wanted to kiss those tears away, wanted to kiss Skeppy until he couldn't cry anymore, wanted to be the one to make Skeppy feel like it'd all be alright.
"It's okay, it's okay, shh, I promise it's okay. You're my best friend, do you really think I have a problem taking care of you when you need help?" Hayech murmured, trying to calm him down. "Come on, it's okay, shh..."
Hayech pulled back, wiping the tears from Skeppy's cheeks, smiling at his gorgeous face. "No need to cry, Skep. I promise, it's alright."
Skeppy sniffled, but nodded. "I- Thank you.."
Hayech felt a pang of hurt strike him in his chest, yearning to take that seemingly deep-rooted pain away from Skeppy. "Of course, man. I lo.." Hayech trailed off, averting his gaze. "I care about you, a lot. You're my best friend, yeah? A- A night where you're absolutely wasted isn't changing that."
Skeppy feels more tears well in his eyes. "I.." He begins, but doesn't finish what he's saying, because another sob tears through him, and Hayech is the one to pull him close this time.
Hayech leans down, scooping his hands under Skeppy's thighs, picking the older man up with slight struggle. "I've got you," he murmured, walking them over to the couch. "It's okay, Skeppy, I've got you."
He sat on the couch, Skeppy on his lap, holding him close, tight yet not constricting. He didn't want Skeppy to feel this, and even though his own heart ached, he couldn't bare to see Skeppy in this sort of pain.
Hayech's curse of being overly selfless.
Skeppy's hands balled into fists as he let sobs wrack his body, curling himself further and further into Hayech's grasp. He apologized over and over, to which Hayech responded by rubbing circles into his back, telling him "it's okay, it's okay", because truly, who was he to deny comfort to the man he'd fallen in love with these past few years?
Time passed, and Skeppy's sobs quieted down into sniffles, Hayech's comforting murmurs quieting to humming. There was a comfortable quiet that settled around them, and Hayech was content to stay just like this for a while. He let his eyes shut, trying to ignore the painful aching in his chest as he got reminded that the person on his chest was Skeppy.
If he imagined a different life- one where they were together, one where Hayech could love him openly- this was almost insanely romantic, it decidedly drove him mad. Without thinking, he pressed a shaky kiss to Skeppy's head, then leaned his head back.
"...Hayech?"
"Hmm?"
"What- What was that for?"
Hayech shrugged. "Dunno." A lie.
"I.." Skeppy pushed himself up, sniffling and wiping tears from his eyes, which were bloodshot and puffy. "I think- I think it's time for me to leave."
...What?
"Wait- huh? Why?" Urgency lined Hayech's voice as he stood up, going to reach for Skeppy's wrist, but the other man pulled back before he could.
"I have some.. things I need to do- I-" Skeppy's voice gave out as he pulled on his shoes, grabbing his phone and looking at Hayech, eyes full of yearning. "I.. Thank you, for today, for last night, for everything. Just-- Call me if you need anything."
And then the door shut.
And then Hayech was left standing in his living room, tear stains on his hoodie, tear tracks on his cheeks, hands shaking as he stared at the place where Skeppy stood only moments prior.
He wanted to race out of the door, grab Skeppy before he could leave, pull him into a hug, kiss him breathless, scream how much he loved him.
Instead, he stood there. Staring at the door, not entirely closed.
His entire body began to shake, and he took slow steps toward the door, opening it to see Skeppy getting into a cab, their gazes meeting for a moment. He wanted to call out, but he.. stared. He wasn't sure why he didn't do anything. He couldn't- it was like he was frozen, like a deer in headlights. He had so much he wanted to say, and the capability to say none of it.
Hayech stepped back inside, closing the door behind him, sinking down against it. He rest his arms on his knees, staring forward as the reality of what just happened sank in. He had a chance- an opportunity, the perfect time for him to say how much he loved Skeppy, how much he adored him, even if Skeppy didn't feel the same way about him. But now?
He thinks he fucked up his friendship with him more than anything else could've.
Hayech brings his knees to his chest, the scent of Skeppy's cologne still clinging to his skin, the still-wet patch Skeppy's tears left on his hoodie making the fabric stick to him, and he couldn't even be mad because he'd do it all again in a heartbeat.
Did Skeppy know that? Did Skeppy know even a fraction of how much Hayech cared?
Hayech blinked as his vision became blurry, tears beginning to fall from his eyes. He felt a sinking pain in his chest as he leaned his head against the frame of his front door, before standing up. The uneaten pancakes stayed on his counter, the bar stool still pulled out from where Skeppy was sitting, still tilted to make enough room for Hayech to hold him close and wipe his tears. He walked over to his room, looking at the empty bed with messed up sheets that Skeppy had messed up in his drunken sleep.
Hayech had barely slept at all the night prior, keeping his door most of the way open to make sure Skeppy stayed lying on his side throughout the night. He'd checked on Skeppy any time he made a noise, gave him water and a few Tylenol when he woke up in the middle of the night, even kissed his forehead and laid in bed with him for a while until Skeppy fell back asleep.
The bottle of painkillers and the glass of water still stood on his end table.
He stepped closer to his bed, allowing himself to lay down in the same place Skeppy had, burying his nose into his own sheets. If he closed his eyes, he could pretend for a moment that Skeppy was there with him. If he closed his eyes, he could pretend for a moment that the lingering scent of pancakes was because he slept through Skeppy making breakfast, since he had a tendency to sleep in late.
Hayech's eyes welled with tears and he curled into a ball, letting himself cry, wail, sob. He didn't live with anyone, there was no reason to worry about someone hearing.
..
Hayech woke up as the sun was setting, his throat swollen, eyes puffy and dry. He hadn't even remembered falling asleep. He rolled over, staring blankly at the ceiling. He moved to check his phone.
Dead.
Ah. Wonderful.
He plugged it in, standing and feeling blood rush to his head, sitting back down immediately. While working from home has its perks, he knows he doesn't go outside nearly as much as he should, which he's pretty sure has led to some deficiency that he could give two less shits about at the moment.
The memories of earlier in the day came flooding back to him, and he stared down at the floor as he sat on the edge of his bed. He doubted Skeppy had even checked in, with the way he left so quickly. Had Hayech fucked up? Was that simple kiss too much for Skeppy to handle, despite what they'd done while he was drunk?
Hayech hadn't even thought that it might've just been the alcohol in his system that made him do that. Maybe he'd mistaken Hayech for someone else, maybe he didn't know who he was with. Hayech's mind raced with possibilities, and tears sprung to his eyes once more. He held his head in his hands, blinking slowly.
Why get out of bed?
Nobody was going to miss him.
He laid back down, crossing his arms over his stomach, tears streaming down his face despite him not really feeling anything. He sighed, rolling over, deciding to just go back to sleep, hoping he was plagued with dreams of a different reality where he finally got to be happy.
..
Hayech woke up the next day, groggy, and it only took a couple of seconds for him to realise why he'd been sleeping for the past..
...Twenty-two hours?
What?!
He picked up his phone, double-checking that his alarm clock wasn't set incorrectly, but it was right. He'd been sleeping for a little over 22 hours, and yet he only had a couple notifications. None from Skeppy, either.
One stood out to him, though. Texts.. from Mega? Usually the two only spoke through Teamspeak, or Discord, but an actual series of texts on his number caught his attention.
>Yo, what happened last night? Skeppy called me, and I couldn't really tell what he was saying because he was crying so much.
>Don't leave me on delivered, dude, I know you don't go anywhere
>Hayech
>Answer me
>Dude, what the fuck is going on?? What happened??
All sent over the course of a couple of hours.
Hayech felt anger bubble up in his chest. He knew it was irrational- the anger was directed at himself, for hurting Skeppy, and yet he threw his phone on his bed and left his room anyway. He walked into his bathroom, staring at himself in the mirror for a moment.
His long hair was disheveled, sticking out and tangled in places it hadn't been since his last depressive episode, and his face was still red and blotchy. His mismatched eyes were glossy, tear tracks still evident on his face. He stared at his wrinkled hoodie, and his gaze softened. The scent of Skeppy still lingered, and for a moment he wanted nothing more than to grab his phone and call him, explain what happened, but he decided to just grab a drink and lay back in bed.
His phone buzzed.
Another text from Mega.
>Leaving me on read after disappearing for two whole days is fucked, dude. What the hell happened?
Hayech sighed angrily.
None of your fucking business, that's what.<
>Except it IS my business, because he called ME in tears. What the fuck happened?
Hayech felt rage bubble inside his chest again. What the fuck was wrong with him? Why was Mega acting like he knew so goddamn much about what happened?
Before he could even process what he was doing, his phone was ringing and he was waiting on Mega to pick up.
>You better explain what you did, dude, and *fast*.
Hayech scoffed. "Just who the fuck do you think you're talking to, dude?! I didn't even do anything! He- He wrote 'don't forget' on his arm while he was drunk, and then forgot what he was supposed to not forget, and then he broke down in tears! A-And I held him! I don't fucking know, I- I couldn't stand seeing him crying, so I stopped what I was doing, and I- I just picked him up? And he cried into my chest for a solid half an hour, and then I kissed the top of his head and he just fucking left, I don't know?!"
Mega was silent on the other line- of course, Hayech didn't know what he was expecting, it's not like the dude spoke- but he wasn't typing, either.
A sigh sounded from Mega's end, and the sound of vibration from him typing sounded.
>You should really speak to him.
"Why the fuck are you acting like you know so much?!" Hayech yelled, becoming more frustrated by the second. "You don't get to fucking talk on this, this has nothing to do with you! Just- Leave me the fuck alone, alright?!"
Hayech hung up the call, throwing his phone, and he didn't have recollection of the next couple of minutes. He ended up outside, walking down the road, no phone, no idea where he was going, just.. walking.
Cars rushed by, and he envied them. It's not like he didn't have a car, he could've easily driven somewhere, but for some reason he just had to walk. Maybe he was clearing his head, maybe he was just trying to think without distraction. But nothing was working.
His mind, his every thought, was plagued with Skeppy, how hurt he looked when he left, and he couldn't focus on anything. He walked, without a clue in the world as to where he was headed, and it didn't even register in his head that the sun was beginning to set and he didn't know where he was. He stared up at the night sky, sitting on a bench on the side of the road. Was this it, then? Was he destined to be forever unhappy, unfulfilled? Just living a life forever doomed to be something he didn't want to be, get nothing he truly wanted?
Hayech stared out at the now almost empty roads, sucking in a deep breath as he felt for his wallet in his pocket. Luckily, he'd grabbed that before he left, and he walked to the convenience store he sat in front of.
"Welcome in," the cashier said, voice monotone.
Hayech nodded, looking through the drinks, and he shrugged and thought fuck it, why not. His hand closed around the neck of a bottle of beer.
"...Hayech?"
Hayech turned around so fast he almost got whiplash, half convinced he'd hallucinated the voice until he saw Skeppy. His grasp tightened on the bottle, half-hiding it behind his back.
"I- What-" Skeppy stared at Hayech, then stared at the bottle in Hayech's hand. "You don't drink."
Hayech raised an eyebrow. "So?"
Skeppy's gaze hardened. "So put the bottle down."
"What the hell do you care?" Hayech went to go shoulder his way past Skeppy, but stopped when Skeppy placed a rather firm hand on his chest.
"I said put the bottle down, Hayech."
Hayech backed up. "Again, what the hell do you care? You left my house and didn't text. I figured you wouldn't want to hear from me."
"What? No, no that's not it at all, I-"
"Then what, Skeppy?! Tell me, *please* enlighten me, on just what the fuck you were thinking?!" Hayech's voice raised, and Skeppy frantically tried to get him to quiet down.
"Dude, dude, let's take this outside, please? I- I don't want to cause a commotion in here, just- Put the bottle down and come with me, we can talk outside, please?"
Hayech put the bottle on the shelf haphazardly, shoving his hands in his pockets and following Skeppy outside, where he leaned against a pole.
"Listen, I-"
"Make this quick." Hayech snapped, barely wanting to hear from him. He was angry, god he was so fucking angry.
Skeppy looked away. "I'm sorry. I really shouldn't have left so suddenly, but I- I don't know, something.." He trailed off, before sighing and pinching the bridge of his nose. He looked up at Hayech, tears beginning to form in his eyes. "I really am sorry. I got overwhelmed, because I- I know you probably meant it as just a friend thing, but I lo..-" Skeppy cut off with a sigh.
Hayech raised an eyebrow. "You what?"
Skeppy shrugged, turning away, crossing his arms. "I don't know. Maybe coming this way was stupid, I- I should go home-" His voice cracked and Hayech saw a tear fall down his cheek, and he couldn't stop himself.
Hayech grabbed Skeppy's arm and pulled him in, and despite the anger and rage and fear gathering in his chest, he held him tight. Hayech felt so much love, so much spite, everything both positive and negative as he desperately clung onto Skeppy. Part of him knew he needed this as well, so he let his eyes shut, leaning his head down and inhaling the scent of Skeppy's shampoo. He smelled of strawberries, and Hayech truly believes he's never been closer to heaven, if such a thing exists.
"I'm sorry, Hayech. I really didn't mean to hurt you," Skeppy mumbled, his voice soft, small.
"It's okay," Hayech murmured. "It's okay, shh, I've got you."
They stood like that for a moment, before Skeppy pulled back, watery brown eyes gazing up at Hayech. "You're a bit away from home."
Hayech raised an eyebrow. "I didn't know how far I walked. I left my phone at home."
"...Want a ride?"
"That'd be.. appreciated," Hayech nodded.
"Come on, then. And you're not getting that beer, what the hell were you thinking?!" Skeppy exclaimed, gesturing at the door.
Hayech shrugged. "Mental instability mixed with just wanting to get away from everything definitely leads a man to drink."
Skeppy rolls his eyes, leading Hayech to his car. "Uh, you can just, put that stuff in the back," he says, gesturing to the.. What?
"I-" Hayech stifled a laugh. "I'm sorry, why exactly do you just have.. planks of wood in your car??"
Skeppy scoffed. "What, a guy can't work on a project anymore?"
"What fucking project could you *possibly* be working on to need.." He paused to count. "Not one, not two, not even five, but *ten* 7-inch 2-by-4s???" Hayech laughed, genuinely confounded as to what craft project could possibly use that kind of wood, but just decided to brush it off and sit in the passenger seat.
He still had a lingering heaviness in his chest, but just being around Skeppy seemed to lighten it, if marginally.
Now, Hayech knew Skeppy wasn't exactly the tallest guy. But he still had a few inches on the general person of.. well, the global average, he's pretty sure. So there's really no reason he should have to make the seat this much lower for him to sit comfortably in this fucking car.
Skeppy smiles sheepishly. "Sorry, I had someone else in here, and they're a bit shorter than you, haha.."
Hayech's heart tugs at the thought of Skeppy having someone else in here, but decides to just ignore it. At least he finally has Skeppy back.
They drive in silence, with the exception of Skeppy cursing at a couple drivers (seriously, does nobody know how to drive these days?!), and Hayech really tries not to overthink but when Skeppy's hand comes to rest on top of his, he can't help but feel his mind begin to race.
Surely he'd move it soon, right? Or maybe he was waiting on Hayech to move, maybe this was a test? Surely it was an accident, right? Hayech's thoughts spun with possibilities, but as Skeppy's hand moved to interlace his fingers with Hayech's, he froze up.
They pulled up to a red light, and Skeppy raised an eyebrow. "You alright over there?"
Hayech nods, not looking over at Skeppy, not trusting himself to speak or move.
Skeppy smiles, not mentioning the grip he had on Hayech's hand.
They pulled into Hayech's driveway, and Hayech got out of the car first, standing too fast. His vision blacked out, his knees giving way to his weight, and for a moment he clung onto the car door for dear life until he felt an arm around his waist, supporting most of his weight before he could fall to the ground.
"Careful, there," Skeppy warned, gazing up at Hayech affectionately. "You alright?"
Hayech nods, letting his eyes shut for a moment. "Stood up too fast, I think," he murmurs, leaning into Skeppy's touch.
"Come on, then, let's get you inside."
As they walked inside, Hayech noticed that he never really cleaned up after Skeppy left, so the pancakes had went bad, and Skeppy seemed to let his gaze linger on them.
"S-Sorry, I- I kind of uh, slept through the past two days. Oh shit--!" Hayech cut off, darting toward his room, picking up his phone, opening Mega's messages.
Sorry for blowing up at you yesterday. I wasn't in my right mind, and you weren't even the one in the wrong.<
He chewed on his thumb nail as he waited to see if Mega would respond.
>Ok
Hayech sighed, knowing Mega was probably still upset, but not taking it to heart. He knew Mega was just really blunt in what he says, and never means true harm by most of it.
Skeppy walks in, clearly confused. "Hey, you alright?"
"Yeah, just- Uhh, yesterday, I ended up calling Mega because he texted me something, and I sorta yelled at him over the phone, and I just remembered and I apologized for it. Feel like utter shit about it, quite honestly," Hayech laughed bitterly, putting his phone back on charge. He sat on his bed, picking at his nails nervously.
"I-" Skeppy seemed to stiffen at the mention of Mega's name, albeit he said nothing about the phone call Mega had mentioned. "I'm sure he's okay. I mean, you know Mega, he can take a ton of shit."
Hayech laughed. "Yeah, I guess so. Uh.. I- I'm assuming you didn't really come over here to stay for long?"
Skeppy shook his head. "No, no I didn't. I sort of just wanted to apologise, and.. see you, because uh, apparently nobody could get ahold of you. Even your friend Ash had ended up reaching out to me to see if I'd heard from you."
Hayech's eyes widened. "I- Fuck, I really thought nobody had noticed. My phone was dead the first time I woke up, and I didn't really read most of my notifs, shit, I feel horrible-"
"Yo, it's okay, I told her you were going through a tough time is all. She doesn't know anything beyond you just not being in a good headspace." Skeppy paused. "..A lot of people noticed, though. Even some people on Invaded were wondering where you were, since you're usually on 24/7."
Hayech stares up at Skeppy, an unreadable expression on his face. "I.. Thank you. There was a ton of stuff I wanted to say, but you looked.. so ready to leave, I just.."
Skeppy smiles. "I get it. I just got really overwhelmed, is all."
Hayech nodded.
They sat in silence for a minute or two that seemed to drag on for eternity, and then Skeppy shuffled.
"I suppose you should get going, then," Hayech mumbled.
"Yeah," Skeppy replied.
A heavy tension overcame the two of them, and for a moment, Skeppy breathed in as if he wanted to say something more, but ended up biting his tongue and shaking his head. Hayech stood up, walking closer to Skeppy, ending up a few steps closer than he'd intended to, almost touching Skeppy. Their proximity was intoxicating, electricity seeming to dart between the two of them, and that's when Hayech noticed Skeppy was still wearing his shirt, as Hayech was still wearing the hoodie he had on two days ago.
Skeppy swallowed, leaning his head back to look up at Hayech, his eyes darting back and forth, trying to find something to focus on.
Hayech stared at Skeppy's lips, thinking back to the other night, and he didn't even realise one of his hands had rest on Skeppy's waist. Skeppy didn't seem to mind, however, as his breathing became shallow, and his lips parted. Both of them waited with bated breath for the other to make a move, to initiate something- *anything*- but neither dared move a muscle.
Skeppy swallowed thickly, breaking away first. "Well!" He exclaimed, pulling at his shirt collar. "I suppose that I should get going now."
Hayech nods curtly, absolutely dumbfounded at what just happened. "Want me to walk you out?"
Skeppy hesitated, then nodded. "That'd be nice, yeah!"
Hayech follows Skeppy outside, opening and closing his car door for him subconsciously. He doesn't realise he does it, but Skeppy thanks him anyway.
"Call me if you need anything, yeah?" Hayech smiled, awkwardly trying to lean down to see into the window of Skeppy's car.
Skeppy nods, smiling. "Alrighty! Same for you, okay?"
Hayech nods back, half tempted to lean in and kiss him goodbye.
But he doesn't.
He steps back, waves, and walks back into his house, as Skeppy pulls out of his driveway. He wants to hate himself for it, he wants to call Skeppy and tell him to turn around, get his ass back here, but he doesn't.
He's already almost ruined their friendship once this week. If Skeppy doesn't feel the same, he doesn't want to risk it.
So he makes himself something to eat, gets a drink, watches a little bit of a comedy movie, and just.. goes to sleep.
The next day comes, and Hayech checks his phone. He woke up rather early- 9am, about.. 8 hours before he usually wakes up. Which is really odd. Why is it morning? Whatever, he can't be bothered to worry about it.
He texts Ash back, apologizing for making her worry, getting out of bed for approximately two minutes before his phone rings.
"Yello?" He answers, still groggy from his sleep.
"Yo, Hayech!!" Skeppy calls from the other line. "I was wondering-" He cut off with a laugh. "Sorry, I'm- Do you wanna-" He basically bursts out laughing again, then apologises again. "Sorry, sorry! Jeez, I'm trying!" He says to somebody that Hayech can't hear.
"...Are you okay?" Hayech chuckles.
"Yeah, sorry! I was kind of wondering, do you wanna go on a date with me?"
Hayech was very suddenly not sleepy anymore. He pulls his phone away from his face, checks the time, the contact, even makes sure it's the right number to make sure someone didn't switch it in his sleep or something, even though he knows it's virtually impossible for anybody to do that. "I- I'm sorry, I'm sorry- What?"
"Agh, I'm sorry, Bad dared me to do this!!" Skeppy laughed, but then he cleared his throat.
Hayech's smile fell. Of course, it was another prank. Of course Skeppy wouldn't really be asking him out.
"But um, I do kind of already have everything in place. So. You kinda can't say no, because I spent money on this already," Skeppy laughs nervously. "Yes, I told you I was going to?!" He exclaims, presumably to Bad, maybe on a Teamspeak call or something. "But uh.. were you wanting to go?"
Hayech nods in real life, before remembering Skeppy couldn't see him. "Uh, yeah, if you've already spent money. Sorry- when was it supposed to be, so I could mark it on my calendar?" Holy fuck. This.. was actually happening.
"Eh.. Tonight..?"
"I beg your pardon?"
"Yeah, uh.. I.. was hoping you were free tonight?"
Hayech sighs. "Thanks for the notice. I bet your past jobs fucking loved you," he mutters in annoyance. "I guess I'm free, yeah. What time?"
"Uhhhh, like, seven PM?"
Hayech shrugs. He guesses he could do that. "Sure, why not. See you then?"
"See you then, ok byeeee!!!" Skeppy hangs up mid-sentence, but Hayech's too stunned to even process half of what he was saying.
Sure, it was a dare, but him and Skeppy were.. actually going out? Like, on a date? He spent money on him? Oh, Hayech was so utterly fucked.
He ended up spending most of the day pacing his house, raiding his closet, trying to find some article of clothing that resembled anything even remotely being well-dressed.
By time it was 5 PM, he'd listened to his favourite music playlist most of the way through (and by then, realized he should probably expand his music taste, because listening to this much Jon Bellion probably cannot be good for one's soul), and picked out a half-decent outfit.
Hayech really wasn't expecting it to go this way in the slightest.
As he stared at himself in the mirror, his long, black hair cascading over his shoulders as he shook it loose from the bun he'd just had it in, he realized he was.. really, really underprepared for what today was.
Oh, Hayech was sure he was absolutely fucked now.
His heart raced as he smoothed out the button-up he'd picked out- a deep purple, one of his favourite colours, and a black tie had been discarded onto the floor. He was going to wear it- honest, he was!- but he decided it was too formal and he didn't want to scare Skeppy by making him think he was taking this too seriously, instead of as the joke it was.
It most definitely was not because he couldn't for the life of him remember how to tie a Windsor knot. At all. And that's an outrageous assumption.
He swallowed thickly, staring at the mirror again. He had half a mind to just not answer his phone, pretend he forgot about this at all.
The doorbell rang. He tore his eyes away from the mirror, stuffing his phone into his back pocket, and sucking in a deep breath before he opened the front door with a smile.
His gaze met Skeppy's at first, but as rustling came from Skeppy's hands behind his back, he raised an eyebrow. "Whatcha got there?" Hayech asked.
Skeppy felt heat rush to his face, and he averted his eyes, pushing a bouquet of flowers toward Hayech. "Here. I- I figured if we're going on a date, I should like, make it authentic or something," he mumbled, averting his eyes from Hayech's.
Hayech stared at the flowers, stunned. "I-" He began, not quite sure what to do or say. He grabbed the flowers from Skeppy, turning them over in his hand before inviting Skeppy inside. Hayech said nothing as he put the flowers in a vase (because they were pretty, and not because Skeppy gave them to him, he said to himself).
He wiped his hands on his jeans, gaze lingering on the flowers in the vase- purple roses and magenta carnations adorned with baby's breath and lavender, a rather gorgeous assortment- before Skeppy cleared his throat, getting Hayech's attention.
Hayech whipped around, blinking as he saw Skeppy standing a few feet away from him.
"I hope you like the flowers. I- I know purple's your favourite colour, so I sort of just told them to give me what purple they had and make it pretty. Because, authentic date or whatever," Skeppy shrugged, trying to play it like he wasn't flustered as all hell. His body language gave him away, though- his lip quivered slightly, his fingers toyed with the hem of his shirt.
Hayech pretended not to notice.
Hayech smiled at Skeppy, a slight pain behind the look that Skeppy apparently didn't pick up on. "I'm ready when you are."
Skeppy gestured toward the door, holding it open for him, winking and jokingly adding "Ladies first!", which earned him a stern glare from Hayech.
Skeppy giggled, but opened the car door for Hayech as well. Hayech noted that he'd gone all out for this- even going so far as to rent a limo, which he climbed inside with minimal second thoughts. He gazed as Skeppy climbed in, adoring the way the light reflected in his eyes.
"You uh, really went all out for this, huh?" Hayech chuckled, smoothing his pants out (which accomplished nothing) as he sat down, realizing he didn't have to hunch to fit fully into the car. Which, honestly, was really nice- it was nice to be able to sit up entirely. He had a fleeting thought about how kind it was for Skeppy to accommodate him, but figured that's just how friends were, right?
Skeppy nodded, a smile crossing his face. "Yeah! I- I mean, it's meant to be a date, right? Just because it's between-" He paused for a moment- only a moment, yet Hayech noticed an emotion he couldn't quite place- "friends, doesn't mean we can't make it as real as possible, right?"
Hayech nods, a pang of yearning striking his heart. *Friends.* Because that's what they were, all they ever would be.
The limo began moving, and Hayech raised a eyebrow as he noticed Skeppy's leg bouncing nervously.
"You look.. nice," Skeppy commented, not meeting Hayech's eyes.
Hayech nodded. "As do you."
"What? I'm just in a t-shirt and pants, dude, you're in a whole button-up and nice jeans. You look tons better than me, you even have your hair down for once."
Hayech smiles. "So I do. I figured if we're doing the whole date thing, it'd be worth putting in an effort. You've brushed your hair," he notes.
"Yeah, but that's like, nothing compared to the whole get-up you've got going on!!" Skeppy whines.
Hayech laughs. "Oh, come on, just accept that you look pretty."
A silence befalls them both.
"...Pretty?" Skeppy echoes.
Hayech worries his lip between his teeth, but decides to double down. "Yeah, pretty. I mean, or handsome, I guess."
"No, no no, pretty's.. good. Just a bit of a shock, I'm not really called that too often."
Hayech smiles. "Maybe I should compliment you more often, then. I always think you look pretty."
Skeppy rolls his eyes. "Alright, shut up."
"I'm serious!"
"Stop it, that's so gay!"
"You're literally taking me on a date right now, don't say that."
"But it's as friends!! Friends can go on dates!"
Hayech cycles through a solid seven responses before settling on leaning forward. "But is it really as friends, hmm?"
Skeppy's eyes widen, a hot flush spreading through his body, and he pushes Hayech back. "Yes, it's as friends, you fucking weirdo!!" He exclaims, his voice that same signature high-pitch it goes when he's lying.
Hayech chuckles, deciding to ignore the rather obvious lying tell, because he was for sure just imagining it. "Alright, alright, I was just playing."
"So," Skeppy began. "Why'd you say yes to begin with? I mean, you needed no convincing, you were kinda just.. down for this."
"You said you put money into it. And also, I'm chronically lonely, and had nothing planned tonight. Figured what better did I have to do?" Hayech chuckled.
"Oh, that's a good point. You don't ever have to say yes to anything I ask, seriously."
Hayech shrugged. "Free dinner, too."
"Fuck you, dude! I forgot I'm paying!"
"I'm gonna order the most expensive thing they have."
"You better not!!" Skeppy laughed.
"I'm going to," Hayech chuckled, noticing the way the edges of Skeppy's eyes crinkle when he laughed. Hayech had worn his glasses tonight, partially because he knew they were going out to eat and partially because without them he was basically legally blind. Well- no, not really, but he definitely couldn't see well.
Skeppy smiled wide. "You're lucky I'm rich."
"Then why's my pay so low?!" Hayech huffed jokingly.
Skeppy smirked. "Capitalism, baby!"
"I'm not even American, you can't pull that card!"
"Neither is Mega, but I said the same shit to him! I mean, he immediately told me to kill myself, but y'know, that's just a him response."
Hayech chuckled. "That definitely does sound like something he'd say."
"Because it is! It's something he's said- I literally can pull up the messages right now!"
"Oh my god," Hayech laughed.
They sat in comfortable silence for a while, both chilling on their phones, before the limo came to a stop, and the driver pulled down the separator and announced that they were there.
They both got out of the limo, thanking the driver, and Skeppy Venmo'd them. He extended his hand to Hayech. "Let's go, then."
Hayech took Skeppy's hand hesitantly, happy to be here with him. He hadn't been on a date in years, so really, he had no idea what to expect anymore. His heart was racing, and every time he looked over at Skeppy, the man had such a sickeningly sweet smile on his face, Hayech could barely stand looking at it.
"Hello! Um, reservation at 7 for two?" Skeppy said hopefully, gesturing between him and Hayech.
The waitress nodded. "Skeppy? Right this way, then."
Hayech followed behind Skeppy, who followed the waitress, and his mouth went dry as he realized just how many people were here. They were taken to a screened-in balcony (bugs were rampant this time of year, and kind of just in this place in general, so the restaurant really didn't want to take any risks), with a table that had two chairs across from each other, adorned with a red tablecloth and a couple of candles.
"Alright well, here you are. My name's Jess, I'll be taking care of you two tonight. What can I get started for you?"
Hayech stared down at the menu in front of him, quietly cursing at the sight of the prices. "Uh, I.. I'll take a Dr. Pepper, please?"
"And for you, sir?"
"Same here, I think," Skeppy says, smiling at Hayech.
"Alright then!" The waitress seemed almost confused at their choice of drinks, but didn't mention it. "I'll be back in a little bit with your drinks, and give you guys some time to look over the menu."
"Okay, thank you!" Skeppy hummed, looking down at the menu. "I.. have never been here before."
"Are you fucking kidding?? The prices are outrageous- the hell do you mean thirty dollars for a steak?!"
"That's... wait, for what size?"
"Twelve ounce, I think that reads?" Hayech says, unsure. The print was incredibly fine, and even with his glasses he struggled to read it.
"Oh, yeah no, that's not too bad. I mean, I've definitely had better, but I've also definitely had worse. So I guess it's like, not good, but not bad- Average, that's the word I'm looking for," Skeppy rambles.
Hayech shakes his head. "I'd rather just get like Wendy's or something, this shit is insane."
"You should've told me that before I booked a romantic candlelit dinner, you prick!"
"My bad, bro! I didn't know you were even booking it!"
They both looked over the menu, thanking the waitress as she brought over their drinks.
"I think I'm going to try the steak, but I can pay for it if you need me to, honest."
"Nah, all good. It's on me tonight, remember?"
Hayech smiles. "Yeah, I get it. Thank you, you really don't have to, though."
"I want to, though."
The words slipped out before he could realise it, and Hayech simply smiles in return.
"It's appreciated. Truly, I haven't had a meal at a proper restaurant in.. years, honestly. I barely even go out for my birthday anymore."
Skeppy frowned. "I'll have to change that, then."
"Hmm? And how do you intend on doing that?" Hayech asks, folding his hands together, propping his head up on them.
"I guess I'll just have to take you out on more dates," Skeppy teases.
A blush spreads over Hayech's face, and he rolls his eyes. "Nothing like this ever again. It's too bougie for me."
"You did *not* just say that," Skeppy cackles. "Absolutely fucking not! Nobody says 'bougie' anymore, you absolute boomer!"
"You're older than me!" Hayech exclaimed, reaching across the table to lightly hit Skeppy in the arm. "You're such an asshole, dude."
They both ended up ordering, and Hayech was very grateful that Skeppy got a seat away from everyone. "How'd you book this on such short notice? It seems like it'd be a seat up for high grabs," Hayech comments.
"Oh, I paid them extra. This seat isn't even supposed to be open right now, it's some like, special V-day perk, or something."
"So- Wait, let me get this straight. You not only asked me out on a date, but also paid extra to make sure we could have this candlelit dinner on a balcony, in the valentine's seats, away from everyone? Why?" Hayech was genuinely curious. This was beginning to seem like less of a friendly gesture, and more of an actual date.
Skeppy suddenly seemed very nervous. "I- Well, uh, it's really simple, actually-" He stammered, before clearing his throat and matter-of-factly saying, "It's because you have anxiety! And no other one-on-one seats were open, so I asked if they had anything, and this was what they said they had. I told them to open it, and that I'd pay extra if they did! Easy, just like that!"
Except, Skeppy was most definitely lying. Hayech had known Skeppy long enough to know his lying tells- the way his gaze never met Hayech's, the way he stuttered before deciding on something to say, the way he spoke with his hands more frantically than he did normally.
But Hayech just smiled. Because it's totally just a friend thing, and he's definitely just reading too deep into it. That's it. "That's really sweet of you, Skep. Thank you."
Skeppy smiles. "For sure!"
Another silence fell over them, and Skeppy was (again) the one to break it. Hayech silently wondered if Skeppy could go two minutes without talking.
"I really hope their food's good, I did *not* pay an extra two-hundred bucks for a special seat to get food poisoning," he laughed.
"You paid *how much*?!" Hayech exclaimed.
"Wait- wait wait wait, I meant, twenty, yeah, 20 dollars! That's-" Skeppy cut off as the waitress stepped onto the balcony. "Look, there's our food!"
Hayech just stared at him. He paid how much? For just the reservation? Oh, fuck, he was in love. He was so, so in love with this man, and his stupid acts of affection, that he didn't even seem to realise were romantic. Fuck, he was so fucked.
Hayech had ordered the aforementioned thirty-dollar 12oz steak (after slight convincing from Skeppy, who repeatedly told him it was okay and told him to just get whatever he wanted), and Skeppy had ordered a burger. He didn't really pay too much attention to what Skeppy ordered- but holy fucking Christ, that burger was huge.
"You sure you can fit that in your mouth?" Hayech asked.
Skeppy sat there for a moment, lips twitching as if he was trying hard not to smile, before he let out a shaky breath. "I bet that's the first time you've ever had to say that."
Hayech tilted his head, before the joke clicked. "Oh, fuck off, would you?! That's so unfair, you're such a prick!"
Skeppy started laughing uncontrollably, pounding his fist on the table as he struggled to regain seriousness. "Holy fuck, you didn't even walk into that one, you ran head-first into it!"
Hayech rolled his eyes. "Shut up and eat your food, dick."
"Oh, you love me!"
"That's besides the point!" Hayech bit back.
They both ate their food, making lighthearted banter as they did so. Hayech finished most of his food, but ended up cutting off some of the steak as it was overcooked, but not to the point of it being inedible. He was just incredibly picky about texture.
"So, we're going to your house after this, right?" Hayech asked, watching Skeppy struggle to eat his Scooby-Doo style sandwich. (Seriously, who even thinks to put that much on a burger? It's outrageous.)
Skeppy nods. "Yeah, I figured we could play some multiplayer COD or something. I have an extra gaming laptop, so maybe some CS?"
"You're taking me on a date, then taking me home to not even watch a movie or anything, no, you're going to play Counterstrike with me?"
Skeppy blinked. "I mean.. yeah, that's kinda the plan."
"You know just the way to my heart," Hayech giggled.
Skeppy paid for their meal (despite Hayech's insistence that they could split the bill, seeing as his portion of the meal was incredibly expensive), and they left in another limo, heading for Skeppy's house. Which, luckily, was only a 15-minute drive, because that food left them incredibly exhausted.
Skeppy sighs as he opens the limo door, standing up with a groan, tipping the driver extra. "Fuck, I'm full. Maybe eating that whole burger wasn't a good idea."
"Never say a burger wasn't a good idea," Hayech chuckled. "Fake American."
"Oh, fuck you."
"In your dreams, diamond boy."
Skeppy laughed, unlocking his door and opening it for Hayech. "Ladies first."
"Would you fucking stop it with that?" Hayech rolled his eyes.
"Nah. It's funny."
They both sat on the couch, Skeppy leaning his head on Hayech's arm, which was wrapped around him, Hayech's hand on Skeppy's waist. They sat in silence for a while, only the sound of their breathing and the slight hum of the refrigerator audible.
Hayech was content. He was happy, fulfilled. Even though it was just a date as friends, he was happy. Because at the end of the day, even if Skeppy didn't love him in the same way Hayech loved him, they were still best friends. And that was more than enough for Hayech.
"Hey, Hayech?"
"Hmm?"
Skeppy stood, pressing play on his phone before tossing the device on the couch next to Hayech. A song began to play over his speakers that Hayech had come to know all too well over the past couple of weeks- Elvis Presley's 'Can't Help Falling in Love'.
"...May I have this dance?"
Hayech's heart fluttered, but he took Skeppy's hand, standing alongside him. He towered over him, and yet he let Skeppy lead him to the open space of the middle of his living room.
Hayech's arm found its way around Skeppy's waist, Skeppy's head resting on Hayech's shoulder. They didn't bother with any fancy dance moves, just enjoyed swaying with each other, slowly moving in a circle. Hayech really wasn't sure how they ended up here, but oh, he was not complaining.
The entire world narrowed to just the two of them. Hayech, nor Skeppy, was sure when they ended and the other began. Both of their hearts seemed to beat in synchrony, their feet moving to the tempo of the song playing over the speakers. Their breathing synchronized, both of their eyes shut, and Hayech for once in his life understood what it was like to be truly, unmistakably, fully happy. Every part of him buzzed with love, adoration, the familiarity of the smaller man he held in his arms, that held him in his arms. Their hands interlaced, and Hayech for a moment truly wondered if Heaven was real, if there was a God, for if there was, he was sure this is exactly what would await him post-mortem. He found himself humming along to the song, a deep rumble in his chest. He inhaled deeply between lines, feeling Skeppy smile against his chest.
The song began to fade out, the piano slowing, as did their movements. As the final note rang over the speakers, and the song ended, Skeppy slowly pulled back a little bit- just enough to be able to look up at Hayech. Both of them had a lovesick look on their face, an awful tugging in their heart, and that same static tension returned to the room.
This time, however, neither of them wanted to back away from it.
Skeppy stared up at Hayech, his lips parting as if to say something, but ending up just smiling at him. He rest his head on Hayech's shoulder once more, feeling Hayech's heart rate pick up.
Hayech dared to do nothing more than what Skeppy initiated. He didn't want to make the man uncomfortable, didn't want to take it too far, possibly ruin their relationship. Tonight had been one of the best nights of his life, and he'd be damned if something he said ruined it.
He let his hand move to rest on Skeppy's hip, the tips of his fingers ever so slightly brushing under the hem of his t-shirt, and it was the most electric thing Hayech had ever had the pleasure of feeling.
Skeppy didn't pull back. He pulled Hayech closer, breathing in deep. "This date wasn't just as friends, was it?"
Hayech inhaled shakily, wanting to answer that question, so badly, but the words caught in his throat. Now was his opportunity. Say it, say you love him, three words, that's all you have to do, just tell him you love him-
"I.. Hayech, I love you."
Hayech was taken aback at the suddenness of the confession. Sure, it was exactly what he wanted to hear, at the perfect time, but that was just it. It was too perfect, there was no way this was really happening.
"...What?"
"I love you," Skeppy repeated. "I've loved you for a while. And I think I'll love you for a while yet. I- I don't know what it is, there's just.. something that makes you so desirable. Perfect. I love you. I don't know how else to say it."
Hayech felt tears well in his eyes. "Oh, Skeppy.." He began, using the hand that wasn't currently on Skeppy's hip to cup Skeppy's face, turn it to be looking at him. "I love you. That's why I hadn't an issue with taking care of you while you were shitfaced, that's why I said yes to this date so quickly. I just.." Hayech paused, grasping for a concept on how to word what he wanted to say. "I thought.. you wouldn't be able to love me, too."
"Hayech..." Skeppy's face softened, his hand reaching up to brush his thumb over Hayech's bottom lip, before he leaned up and pressed his own lips to Hayech's, so softly, so tenderly Hayech could cry. It felt ethereal, it was everything Hayech had ever wanted. It directly mirrored the kiss they shared the other night- that one was soft, sure, just as this one is, but there was a sense of urgency behind it, something this kiss didn't have. It was them taking their time, learning each other for real this time, their true selves.
Hayech was the one who pulled back, surprisingly enough. He gazed lovingly at Skeppy, a smile on his face, his mismatched eyes glinting in the soft, warm lighting. "I love you."
Skeppy smiled back. "As I love you."
"So.. are we.. official, now?"
Skeppy nods. "I suppose so. You're my.." he paused, a giggle breaking its way through him. "You're my boyfriend, for real.."
Hayech chuckled. "And you're mine, my love," he murmured, holding Skeppy as tight as he could without crushing him. "I'm so sorry I overwhelmed you the other day. I.. I don't know what happened, honestly, I've been so out of it I don't remember a lot."
"It's okay. I.. think I just- Like, for a moment, it felt like you loved me then, and that.. I guess was a foreign thought, to me? Like I guess.. I didn't really think you could love me, either." Skeppy laughed, swaying with Hayech.
"Mmm.. The dilemma of being in love with someone, yes?"
"Yeah... Yeah, I guess."
They stood there for a while longer, simply enjoying being in each other's arms- as a couple, as lovers, as everything Hayech thought himself undeserving of, as everything he had yearned for for months, years now.
And for the first time in what felt like eternity, Hayech truly felt like he was loved, wanted, needed.