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Chapter Text

Year 1, Spring 23

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"Shane? Come help with the groceries, please!" Marnie exclaimed, opening the door with merely her foot. She lugged bagfuls of groceries, vegetables pouring out from the top. Jas followed behind. Her request sent Shane into a deeper, irritable mood. Every call into action sent him into an annoyance, triggering his memories of Morrise's demands. All he wanted to do was escape work the moment he stept into the house, but it seemed to follow him everywhere he went. He scrunched his face, a painful snarl on his mouth as he took his hand off his eyes and looked up at his bare ceiling. His eyes adjusted for a second, he'd been drinking since he got home, but that was 5 hours ago.

"Buh."

"I'm coming."

He approached his room's door, each step reminding him of his weak body. A pot belly had been forming from all the alcohol and junk food he'd stuffed into his face, his stubble rapidly forming into a beard, the stains that splattered on his clothes, everything about him was a mess. He'll act like he doesn't care, in fact, it comes OFF as he doesn't, period. But, his insecurities eat away at him, likewise, the beer eating away his liver. If his appearance was bad, just wait till you see his room. The smell was pungent, his old laundry gathered in the corner, dirty socks and underwear spread on the floor. It was malodorous, the odor, a mix of his sweat and must that wafted throughout. Flies had made their home in the empty bottles he didn't pick up, as well as feasted on his half-full ones. Though his radio was collecting dust, along with a soccer ball, his Mega Station stayed perfectly brand new. He'd recently bought it, thinking it'd cure his depression if he reverted to nostalgic days. It didn't.

Shane opened his door, the hinges weak, making a long *CreeeEaak* sound. He saw Jas sitting at the dining table eating while Marnie was behind putting away bags. "Hey kid," He said as he walked over, "whatcha got there-" Followed by a burp. Jas looked at him and looked back down. She used her index finger and pointed at the following items. "Apples and Peanut butter!" She exclaimed. Jas was always Shane's light in the darkness. She doesn't understand why he looks the way he does, but she doesn't judge him, unlike some of the people in town. The pure innocence and childlike joy that radiated off her kept him sane. Knowing that something so precious and hopeful exists, surely there's a way out of his depression. "Right on, is it good?" She nodded. "Great." He laid his hand on top of her head, roughhousing her bow out of shape. Jas let out a giggle as she swatted his hand away with hers.

Shane headed over to Marnie, taking a bag out of her hand. She gasped at the weight being lifted off of her,

"Shane-! Why thank y-"

"Are my pizzas here?" Interrupting Marnie's would've been heartwarming gratitude. "Don't see them in here."

Marnie stared. Her disappointment was immeasurable, the time bomb that was ticking was close to detonation, one tick away before all hell broke loose. She stayed calm, though. She had to. Not in front of Jas.. Marnie snatched the bag out of Shane's hands. "They're already in the freezer." Her voice was heavy but quiet as a mouse. There was a part of herself that was ashamed of allowing him to walk all over her, she'd forgive it, time and time again.

"He just had a bad day..."

"You know he has to work that tiresome job..."

"You know what he bears...what he's been through..."

"He's depressed...he can't help it."

She had enough though. Shane was grown. Yes, he had his problems, but everyone does. If he didn't drown himself in his sorrows to compensate for his pain, maybe he'd notice that the rest of the town has its traumas. It's unfair for him to believe he can treat others poorly simply because he mistreats himself, both mentally and physically. Jas needs to grow up with a proper parental figure, who's gonna be there for her when life throws its curve balls? Certainly not a man who has to get his stomach pumped every other month. These intrusive thoughts play throughout Marnie's head when he's disrespectful. They're so hard to escape when the morality of mental illness comes to fruition. So many times had she wanted to yell at the man, tell him what's right from wrong, what to do, but nothing came. 

She just stayed quiet, consciously making the decision to do so. 

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6:40 PM

Shane tucked Jas to bed, reading to her beforehand. In Jas's room, he could be whatever he wanted.

Reenacting a brave knight who eagerly awaited his princess, slaying any dragon that crosses his path, a sly fox that could trick anyone in site, or perhaps, the Prairie King himself, Jas's favorite story. Book by book, Shane immersed himself in the fantasies, both of them getting lost in the escapism of literature. It wasn't long until Jas fell into slumber. Shane gave a hesitant peck on her head, ran his hands through her hair, and wished her a goodnight. It was frightening how quickly his mood shifted the moment he closed the door. Reality slammed into him like a truck, and the buzzing of the overheated lamp in the kitchen reminded him of the grim state of his life. His eyes darted down as he ignored Marnie, heading straight to the fridge. 

He watched as his microwave pizza spun in circles. The countdown clock felt like it was taking eons before he could finally get his hands on that cheesy goodness. The silence was palpable, and he had no desire to break it—until Marnie did.

"Someone new moved in today, a farmer." 

"...So?" 

"We're having her over for dinner tomorrow, I want to give a proper introduction. I'd like for you to join us." 

Shane was irked by Marnie's request. He couldn't pinpoint why though. Maybe it's the lurking feeling of shame he felt after the word proper, or the annoyance of going out of his way to meet a stranger, who, he was not going to get any closer to. Perhaps, it was being asked to do anything.

The microwave beeped and Shane swiftly took his food, shuffling past Marnie without hesitation. "Yeah right, I'd rather not."

Marnie slammed her hands down. The knife in her hand made a thud and a click, and clack, when it fell to the floor, scaring Shane immediately. His thumb gripped tighter on the plate, his lip slightly quivering along with his hands. His heart felt like it was going to jump out of his throat. 

"You listen to me right now, Shane. For the love of Yoba, be present and be here for something. If you're going to be living under my roof I expect more than the way you treat me and others. Now, you're going to be present for this dinner whether you like it or not. You've done everything you wanted to do, how's about you do something that benefits me for a change? Better yet, something that we'll both benefit from."

Shane stared in disbelief, stunned by what Marnie said. Purely raw and unfiltered. He wasn't used to it. It intimidated him. He never liked being put in situations like this, ones where he had to think about his actions. "Fine-Sure, Yeah.." He blurted to get the conversation over and done with. He swallowed, a slim gulp escaping. "Okay, I'll join you." 

He shut his door quicker than Marnie could even look face-to-face with him. 

She sighed, picking up the knife. Cleaning it off, and chopping continuously. 

Chapter Text

Year 1, Spring 24

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Shane cocked his head up, his hair a mess. He rubbed his eyes as his ears rang to the sound of the hens clucking at sunrise. The eye bags under his tear ducts felt heavy, a puffy sensation throbbing as his vision adjusted. His alarm clock displayed 6:50, reminding him that he wouldn’t have time to eat. He let out a defeated "Buh" as he got himself out of bed. Standing up triggered his vertigo, a symptom of his heavy hangovers. He'd gotten used to it, but like before, he noticed the decay of his body. Shane, barely awake, wobbled over to his door and made his way out of Marnie's house. Marnie watching from over the counter. "Good morning, Shane."

"mmgph…"

He was still in his Joja uniform, sweat stains on his armpit and waistband area. He refused to take it off, finding it easier to keep the damn thing on rather than change from work clothes to home attire. Before he headed out the door, He heard Marnie clear her throat, indicating she wanted Shane's attention. He looked back, "Are you coming back home at your regular time?"

"Yeah, why?"

"I'd like you to help with dinner for tonight," she said benignly, a smile forming on her face. "She'll be arriving around 7:00"

"Is Jas eating with us? I usually put her to bed at 6," Shane replied, his hand still on the doorknob. "Actually, yes. Jas has grown very fond of her already." Marnie's eyes flicked to the corner of the counter, aware that Shane's weak spot was Jas. She spoke up anyway, wanting to push him to do more than just mope around. Surely he'll get out there, assert himself, maybe even introduce himself as her godfather. This made Shane feel even more irritated, mixed with a pint of jealousy. His sensitivity to Jas has always been higher than his other priorities, knowing that this mystery farmer had already gotten to know her before Shane could even lay eyes on this mystery girl made him come off detached. proper. The word had echoed throughout his head, like a ghost haunting him. proper. "I didn't know Jas met her already." 

“Guess she beat you to the punch,” Marnie said, a playful wink dancing across her eyes. It wasn't the best time to play with Shane, he rolled his eyes and without saying goodbye, headed to work. 

The walk to Joja felt longer and colder than usual, the wind howling behind his pacing, wrapping itself around his bare legs. His grunts of exhaustion were followed by condensation that jetted out his mouth. He shivered on his way. The scrunch of distaste etched across his face only deepened once he got inside. The breakroom's light buzzed a luminescent hum, the yellow haze glowing down on the depressing state of the room. Shane changed into his uniform, adjusting his hat in his locker's mirror. His reflection stared back intently. 

Despite everything, it's still you. 

But, was it really? He tried to fit himself in his teenage self shoes but struggled to recall the best moments of his former years. Everything that had transpired before moving into Pelican Town faded like a wisp of smoke, a hazy blur of faded memories. He felt as if the colors in his life were more dull. Staring deeper into the mirror pulled out more of his insecurities. Shane's eyes were near watering as he pinpointed his worst traits: his bulbous nose and the fine lines slowly etching into his once youthful face, his thick eyebrows in desperate need of plucking, and his hair greased from the neglect of washing it daily. Even when he did remember parts of his past, all that came up were his graduation photos. The pure bliss in his smile, knowing that he was going to go pro in gridball, his future looking bright. Reality snapped its fingers when he closed his locker, unable to bear his presence.

As he stocked the empty shelves, Sam nudged himself to Shane. Sam was only part-time, and although Shane found him incredibly annoying, at least he had someone else to talk to. Shane envied Sam's youth, as Sam was a young 19, while Shane was pushing 29. "Hey, hey, hey, Shane!" he exclaimed, rocking his hips and the mop in his hands. The rock music from his MP3 poured out from his left earbud, while his right dangled next to him.

"Leave me alone." 

"Don’t be such a sourpuss," Sam playfully chided, resting his mop on a pack of Joja Cola. He launched into a dance, moving fluidly to the rhythm of his song, showing off his youth and energy. He weaved around Shanes's stiff figure, irritated by the distraction. "You’ll never guess whaaat!"

"I'm not going to answer that." 

Sam crouched down at Shane's level, breathing rapidly from his loss of breath. He brought his hand to Shane's ear, barely whispering.

"I heard there's a new farmer in town." 

Shane swatted his hand away, the overstimulation of Sam's heavy breathing pissing him off. "Yeah, I know." 
"Have you talked to her yet? She's a total babe, got the voice of an angel, or whatever." He took a deep breath before continuing. "Today she dropped by while I was skateboarding and she gave me a pizza. A WHOLE pizza! I think she cooked it herself." Shane's glare crept to the side "Wow. must be the lucky one." He said sarcastically. He took the opportunity to respond while Sam caught his breath. Thank god the body has its limits, without a time-out, Sam would talk your ear off without giving you a chance to respond. "I'm meeting her tonight, Marnie is forcing me to stay for dinner."

"Yeah? Well, tell me how it goes!" 

"...maybe. I will if i even choose to stay."

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6:50 PM

The plates and utensils were thoughtfully arranged in a symmetrical layout across the table. Shane added Marnie's purple vase into the center, making it feel warm and inviting. "Pretty good to me, huh auntie?" She looked over and let out a small gasp, following it with a snicker. "Oho! Wow, Shane, it's amazing! gosh- You put a lot into that, didn't you?" Shane rolled his eyes and scoffed- "It's not that big of a deal, just wanted to yknow, make it look good". His thumb was rotating on the top rail of his chair. There was an air to his attitude, not quite like he was there. He didn't feel present. "Are they still coming?" 

His tone came off as insistent, almost like a wish for Marnie to just say no. 

"Give her time." 

Shane groaned. "Well if you need me, knock." Closing the door to his room. It was the darkest one out of all of them. Though a dim bulb flickered next to his dresser, it seized to be a reliable light source. Jumping into his bed, his muscles melted into his mattress. There was a natural indent he made in the middle due to his poor sleep and weight gain. His cheek rested on his pillow, he curled his shoulders and nuzzled his head into his chest like a chicken. Little goosebumps formed on his cold and exposed calves. Shane closed his eyes, praying to sleep through this stupid dinner. Maybe if he played dead Marnie wouldn't invite him back. If only. 

He was in a daze, not necessarily sleeping, but drifting off to slumber before the creaking of his door awoke him. "Shaneyy" Marnie exclaimed. He practically felt her grin, her tone smooth but excited. "We have company."

"Guess dreams really don't come true."  He thought, following it up with an "Okay." out loud. As Marnie left his room, he sat up and stretched his aching back. Smacking his lips and letting his eyes adjust, he looked down and saw a shadow forming outside his door. It walked back and forth, a faint, feminine oozing through the wooden gaps. With the clacking of boots shuffling, Shane noticed how she tracked dirt into the house. Followed up with her getting down on her knees to clean up her mess. Shane quietly stepped his way to her, just behind this door was the big reveal. His eyes followed her hands. Her hands were tiny and rough. Calices were already forming around the corners and index of her fingers, her fingernails stuffed with with soil. Faint scratches and cuts went all the way up to her carpal, the bone that sticks out around the wrist. Nothing about it was conventionally attractive, but it's not like Shane could talk. He didn't mind looking at them. 

The thought caught him off guard. He's not one to practice religion or believe in a higher being, but she felt different. There was a kinetic energy that pushed him closer to her. Nothing science couldn't explain, right? His fingertips gently glazed before smoothing out the palm of his hand on the door, his hand laying spread on it. Shane looked back down and pushed his ear against the dark oak. 

"Thank you for inviting me Marnie, it's an honor. I'm grateful that you thought of me!" As she scrubbed away at the floor.

"Of course, dear. Your grandfather was a loved and respected part of this community, it's wonderful you're taking his spot." 

"I'm sorry about the floors by the way- haha!"

Marnie hushed her, waving her hand down endearingly. "Oh pish, Shane tracks in mud all the time. I've gotten used to it." 

Shane grunted.  

His hand took ahold of his doorknob, opening the door aggressively. The first thing noticed was her on her knees, looking back up at him alerted by the sudden movement. Her eyes were black like coal, and the shape best described was almond. The farmer stared back at him. She had these beautiful, feathery eyelashes that were in desperate need of curling, the wisps sticking down naturally. And her lips. Wow. Naturally plump, the top lip being slightly heavier. Shane's heart beat out of his chest embarrassingly. It felt like it was reaching out to grasp her, trying to claw its way out of him. His cheeks flushed a natural pink and his mouth turned downwards awkwardly. Stuffing his hands into his pockets, he looked over to Marnie, trying to get her attention. 

Before Marnie could introduce himself, the farmer stood up herself and reached out a hand. 

"Hello, it's nice to meet you. I'm your new neighbor, Nicolette." Her smile felt fake. 

Shane twisted his head away and glared. 

"mmgn..." 

"It's Shane."

Chapter Text

7:30 PM

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The dinner was fulfilling. Everyone had their share of the creamy, hearty soup that Marnie had prepared. It was rich and plentiful, with cave carrots and potatoes bobbing up inside the bowls. Shane's eyes adverted to the side as he prodded at his. All four of them were at the dinner table exchanging small talk, Shane quiet like a mouse. Shane was hunched over, his shoulders raised to his ears. The farmer noticed his demeanor but kept her attention on Marnie and Jas. "You're an excellent chef, Marnie!" Nicolette spooned the soup into her lips. "Why, thank you. The inclusion of your cave carrots really brought the aroma out." Marnie gestured her hands at her bowl and sniffed. "You must bring more next time you come and visit!"

"I'd love to." She smiled. Nicolette looked over at Jas. "Are you enjoying your soup?" Jas nodded, using her fist to hold the handle of her spoon. "Sooo good! Thank you, Ms.Nicolette." As Jas hovered her overflowing spoon in front of her mouth, much of the liquid spilled over onto her dress. She let out a whimper and breathed heavily. It sounded as if she was on the verge of crying. Shane took his napkin and dabbed it on the wet spot. "Sh- it's fine." He then gave it to her to continue. Jas proceeded to wipe the excess soup off. "Thank you, Uncle Shaneee..." Dragging out the "e". Nicolette's ears perked. 

An hour passed as Nicolette and Marnie chatted. Shane made his way to the sink. He'd been counting the clock the entire time, and the moment it struck 9:00 was his cue to leave, regardless if Marnie wanted him to stay till the end. "Food was great." He said, knowing he was going back for a frozen pizza later in the night. "Thanks again." Before anyone could respond, he was out the door, heading to the Cindersnap forest. The walk there was quiet, as usual. His sandals crunched on the fallen leaves as he passed Marnie's house, now in the distance, with his eyes glued on the ground. As he made his way to the dock, he pulled a beer can from the pocket in his jacket. Shane sat at the edge, his toes just barely touching the cold, murky water.

"Nicolette?" Shane took his index finger and curled it on the soda tab. "What a long name- a real mouthful." He took a gulp and lost himself in his thoughts. His hands fiddled with the icy, cold condensation on the can, and he looked up. The stars glistened brighter than anything he'd seen. A real beauty compared to the smog that covered Zuzu City. It reminded him of all the progress he's made in his life, which is close to none. The fact that they twinkle brighter than him, yet are dead at the site? What a load of shit. Helplessness crawled on his aching spine. Shane's worst thoughts put him into a spiral, a whirlwind of negative emotions that perpetually trapped him in a rut. He was helpless in Zuzu City, and he's still helpless in Pelican Town. Surely it was the right decision to move out here with Jas, to give her a better life, to give him a better life, but it wasn't.

Nothing changed, only his demons, and he just had a change of scenery. 

He missed her parents more than anything. Big fancy dinners, late-night gridball game watch parties- it was fantastic. Shane still remembers the day Jas was born, getting the call from her father. A few days after the birth, he rushed over to their apartment to set up for the baby. Shane had never seen a baby beforehand, let alone held one. His fingertips trembled on her head, wrapped in a blanket. He didn't want to hurt her. Keeping her tightly at her chest, he cooed into her ear. She smelled fresh, new. He liked knowing you could be born uncontaminated from the horrors of the world. Their deaths crushed him, his alcoholism continued to snowball as the years went by. 

Shane shook his head, slightly buzzed. Forget about it. He took another swig with his eyes shut tight. The chirps from the crickets felt louder, almost like everything around him was collapsing. The right of his temple felt like it was going to burst, the throbbing pain coming from it continuously aching, the weary dread of a headache approaching. His head rested in his hand as he tried to ground himself. 

Though before he could black out, he heard someone approaching him, stepping on the same leaves he did. 

"Uncle, huh? I'm surprised." 

It was the farmer. When Shane looked behind, he saw her standing straight up. Her head tilted to the side and her hands held together in front of her lap. "You two look a lot alike." Shane put his can next to his side. "It's the hair, isn't it? Besides that, we look nothing alike." She waltzed over to him and made herself comfortable. "If you say so. She was asking where you had gone when you left." 

Fuck.

"Oh yeah?" He looked out to the water, his reflection looking back. "It is past her bedtime." 

"Marnie had taken care of that. By the way, thank you for inviting me again, really." Nicolette put her hand out to shake his.

Shane stared at her empty hand, looked back up at her, and ignored it. 

"Wasn't my idea." 

Her eyes flickered, shocked by his response. She put her hand away and adverted her eyes from his. "Well, it's still an honor. I'm glad I've finally met everyone. You know you were the last person I met?" Nicolette smirked and followed up with a chuckle. "I think I know why now." They sat in silence. The rusty, auburn lamp flickered and reflected off the lily pads scattered on the lake. Each one was decorated with a pretty, pink flower. The ripples in the lake made enough suitable sound for the dead space to disappear, leaving Shane dire to say something. He took out another beer can from his right pocket and handed it to Nicolette. She was reluctant to take it at first, but Shane nudged her on. She took the can and opened it. "Buh. Life, amiright?" Shane blurted. Taking his can from the edge and gulping what he had left down. "You ever feel like... no matter what you do, you're gonna fail?" Oh no. He's slipping. Not now.

Yet his instincts took over. He couldn't tell if he was comfortable or had given up entirely. "...Like you're stuck in some miserable abyss, and you're so deep in you can't see the light of day?" Dear Yoba, there was no turning back now. Nicolette was in disbelief. She didn't know what to say. This was the first time she met the ma, and he's okay with saying such depressing things? "Well, uhm." Her thumb nudged the corner of her beer. She looked over, his side profile facing her. His nose stuck out, and his eyes were glossed over, staring deeper into the water. He continued, "I just feel like no matter how hard I try...I'm not strong enough to climb that hole." Shane didn't mean to corner her; it all just slipped out. It was all a bunch of word vomit. Though buzzed, his sober thoughts crawled out his mouth without hesitation. The farmer looked away from his gaze and reluctantly took a heavy swig of her beer, unable to respond. In response, her entire face went red and she hiccuped, her eyes widening from the sensation. Nicolette grabbed for her mouth as she let out a louder belch. Shane grinned.

"Heh...fast drinker, huh?  Woman after my own heart."

He hovered his can in front of his lips before he took his last swig, finishing it before crumpling it with his fist and throwing it to the side. "Just don't make it a habit...you got a future ahead of you still." He rustled his hair when he looked over to see Nicolette, her face flushed. Shane couldn't tell if it was his comment, her drinking, or the entire situation that had her speechless. She was kinda cute when all sheepish, unable to say anything. Her lips were pouted out as she blinked, unbeknownst that Shane was admiring her beauty. Her eyelashes continued to flicker in disbelief at the interaction. "I..." Nicolette cleared her throat, breaking both their trances. "You know, you can always stop." That line was the final straw for him. Shane grunting as he got up. He didn't need another motivational speech. Yet, it was still wrong for him to walk away after dumping something so serious onto her. It was like him to only care about himself, though. His hand rested on his back and he stretched his body outwards, ignoring her comment. "Welp..my liver's begging' me to stop. Better head back and call it a night." His back turned quicker than Nicolette could blink. "I'll see you around, farmer." 

Nicolette watched him walk away before swiftly standing up, her can tipping over and spilling on the dock. 

"SHANE!"

She shouted. Aghast, Shane looked back. She stood from afar, looking out at him. Their eyes met one another. The inner part of her eyebrows grooved, giving off a slightly worried look. Her upper lip lifted, and it made a corner grin. 

"You can always try  to stop...and when you do, I'll be rooting for you!" 

Shane didn't know what to say. He didn't like this feeling. The beating of his heart bounced back and forth out of his chest, his cheeks growing a dark pink. A tingly sensation moved up his fingertips and ankles, goosebumps forming on his exposed legs. He didn't like this feeling. What is this feeling???

He gave a reluctant nod and made his way back to Marnie's quickly, leaving Nicolette alone. 

In bed, he stared at his ceiling as the pitter-patter of his heart continued.

He knew now, that there was something different about her.