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It was more than a strange feeling. There was an abnormal pulsation that made his whole chest throb with an ache that was not conceived as anything ordinary. The ache always seemed to be there, it was dull and grey; at some points it was hardly noticeable, save it was always there.
Raivis couldn’t quite remember when the sensation had first occurred. All the young man knew is that while setting up camp he could not let his eye wander off his partner. He sat in the dirt, a bundle of twigs in his hand as he fed the hungry flame in front of him. He was so close that the fire threatened to brush against him, flames danced wildly as heat cascaded against his flesh. Surprisingly, it felt close to home, and on a cold night such as this, the scorching heat was perfectly welcome.
Yet every so often Raivis glanced to the other from afar. Nero, a young strapping lad, set up sleeping bags just a little ways from the fire. Raivis watched from the corner of his eyes, mindlessly feeding the fire the twigs in his hand as he did so. Nero’s build was sleek compared to his own, yet that should be expected from a man who is part dragon. Such a truly graceful creature indeed. Raivis let his eyes wash over Nero, taking in everything the blue haired man had to offer. The muscles that were clearly visible by the fires dim light, the trace of his tattoos among his arms, not to mention the glorious horns that stood promptly on his head, yet flopped to the side, covering his soft cheekbones. Nero could have been the definition of beauty, but Raivis had only just noticed the elegance of this man just now, and a part of him felt slightly guilty toward that notion, for he had been in company of Nero far longer than that.
Off lost in thought, Raivis kept his stare. It felt like time had gone by too fast for Nero had just finished spreading out the sleeping bags, and turned towards the fire. All Raivis wanted to do was admire the man more, but then Nero turned towards him. Their eyes caught in the silence of the moment. A sudden frenzied bewilderment filled Raivis’s chest as he immediately averted his eyes to the glowing fire. He sat stiffly, not daring to move, pretending that he had never looked in the direction of the half dragon in the first place. A troubled flush covered his cheeks, though both he and Nero failed to notice it was there.
The rustle of footsteps pierced Raivis’s ears. Within an instant he noticed a new warmth, this time not the fire, but a presence next to him. Indeed he was already sweltering, but he could still feel the other’s body next to his. The pain in his chest grew with an anxious flutter.
Raivis turned his head. Nero was looking blankly into the flames, his yellow eyes blending with the light as the fire flickered in his gaze. His expression stoic, yet slightly tense, and they both knew the reasons for this.
A stable relationship is comprised of three things, intimacy, commitment, and love. The couple unfortunately lacked all three of those items which called for their loss of compatibility. Intimacy, a bond of understanding and support. Commitment, a desire to stay loyal and maintain the relationship. The subject of love was something different entirely though. It was a one-sided feeling the couple had, lamentably a feeling which Raivis had yet to feel. In other words the relationship was a hopeless mess. Nevertheless, for their dismay, it was an affair that was impossible to separate from. They were sewn at the hip for eternity.
“I set up the sleeping bags.”
“I know.”
Neither of them looked at each other. Awkwardness itched off of Raivis’s skin, it was dreadfully uncomfortable. The exchange of words was so lifeless and dreary, he hated it. The conversation left his mouth dry, and the four-eyed beast refused to say anything else.
The fire crackled as they sat in silence. The world quieted by their lack of words.
After a few more moments more of insufferable, non-existent laconism, Raivis stood up and tossed the rest of the twigs into the flame, he watched as they were eaten, completely engulfed. He ran a hand through his feverish dark hair.
“I think I’m going to retire for the night.” He said it to almost no one in particular, it was mostly a mumble to himself, but he still received a response.
“Okay.”
The lack of emotion from Nero’s voice made it happen again. There was a hurt placed upon Raivis’s chest, strangling his heart. The foreign feeling made him sick. The man turned and kicked the dirt beneath his feet. Guilt was there again, pooling in his stomach, fuming in a way of utter harshness not yet witnessed to this degree.
Raivis still tried to brush the feeling away as he left Nero sitting by the fire and tucked himself into a hide sleeping bag. The attempt was futile, the horrid feeling remained. Sleep did not come easy. Or at all. Before he knew it he heard Nero approach the spot next to him, the fire, at this point, was nothing more than burning embers.
The four-eyed beast made note to turn in the opposite direction as the half dragon got comfortable under the sleeping bag next to him. If only Raivis could stop his heart from pounding so loudly against his ribcage. Nausea hit him. He had to be coming down with something. This unexplained perplexed feeling that inevitably wanted to make him run away, vomit, and even scream (though of course he would never do any of those, he was far too contained) was getting on his nerves.
Movement in the sleeping bag next to him ceased completely. At this point there was not more crackle of the fire, and the pure silence was truly deafening. It was like that for some time. Then movement was heard once more.
Hot breath trailing down the back of Raivis’s neck caused a ripple of goosebumps to run over his sensitive skin. He stiffened under there cover then slowly turned to face Nero. Their eyes caught once more but Raivis didn’t look away. The golden orbs of both men looked onto each other, yellow, transient with wonder, glowing in the dark of the night. Raivis swallowed hard, then raised a questioning brow at the half dragon.
Nero’s lips pulled into a smirk. This could only mean one thing. Without a foreseen warning the dragon boy pressed his lips onto Raivis’s.
In a loveless relationship there tend to be gaps everywhere. There are holes of fulfillment yet to be closed, and in their struggle at the sad dismal attempt to be the epitomized relationship there was one door open that severed as the glue. It stuck them together, not fixing wounds, or filling in for emptiness, but it served as a placebo for the couple. It was something to hold onto, and that was the intimate excitement of sex.
It was the small flame that kept them going, one thing in particular both of them enjoyed. For Nero it was a promise that perhaps Raivis truly did love and care for him, for that was the cause of the act, right? For Raivis it was for sport. It was an activity he had been engaged in for many years of his life, even though he still could be considered a boy at the age of nineteen. Life has always been rough around the edges, but this was one activity the both of them could constantly agree to, no matter the reason.
Nero’s kiss was soft, still warmed by the fire he had recently been sitting by. The warmth radiated off of his tan skin, causing Raivis to suppress a small shiver as he kissed back. He could not help but notice he felt different when Nero placed his mouth to his. It was a lush and oddly course experience.
In an instance arms wrapped around shoulders, bodies coiled close together as the intensity increased. Tongue met tongue, both long, curling over each other in an attempt to seek dominance, licking over fangs and teeth. Already just a minute into their session and the heated aggression had already taken over. Stripping out of their sleeping bags Nero climbed on top of Raivis, straddling his hips.
Raivis looked up at Nero. Torridity filled the air. Hotness left his lips in a silver cloud of condensation. Both men in a slow pant, eye contact never straying. Yellow looking on yellow. Raivis propped himself up on his elbows. His heart pounded in his chest. Just the look of Nero made a fuzzy static flood his brain, the rest of him filled with convoluted warmth that felt anything but normal.
Nero leaned down to continue the mess they started. Raivis parted his lips slightly, eyes half lidded, ready for more of the other man’s taste. But it never came.
He opened his eyes all of the way and glanced at Nero. His expression was not lustful anymore, but curious instead. The half dragon’s hand laid upon Raivis’s left shoulder slowly rubbed down to his chest, seemingly in an intimate manner, but the heat of the moment had now dissipated.
“You’re different.” It was all Nero said.
“Different?” Raivis questioned.
“Your heart…” Nero trail off, hardly finding appropriate words to say. “Your heart, it’s beating really fast right now.”
Raivis could feel the embarrassment on his cheeks. He didn’t even know why it was there. For some reason Nero was talking to him, and every word pierced him; it was in a way that made him want to pay attention, and long for more. But that was absurd. All Raivis could do was roll his eyes.
“Uh, because we’re two dudes about to fuck? We’ve been face fucking for a good minute, rolling around like whores in the mud, of course my heart is going-“
“No.” Nero cut him off. “It’s not like that. I can feel it, there’s- there’s a change.” His face scrunched up, he was hard in thought.
“Oh, okay, so this is some of your fancy dragon bullshit? You know, the same funk that got us metaphorically chained together in the first god damn place?” Raivis felt a sudden pang of anger run through him. It boiled deep in his stomach. He didn’t want to accept what the half dragon was saying. He desperately wanted to believe that there was no change within him. That this was complete blasphemy. Yet, he could feel it too. He hated that he could. He didn’t even know what was wrong with him, he just knew it was there.
“I can promise you it’s not bullshit.” Nero’s voice dropped. “Our bond… it’s stronger.” The dragon male said it and knew it was true as the words escaped his lips. He could feel the two of them now, closer than they had ever been before. There was an essence flowing through the both of them, it was smooth like silk, stronger, and lively.
Raivis wanted to laugh it off. He really wished he could, but said nothing. He swallowed hard. Slight nervousness consumed him, a feeling which was hard to come by.
“Raivis.” Yellow eyes gazed upon the four-eyed beast.
The demon averted his eyes.
A wordless spell froze over them. Words didn’t need to be said. It was the first time neither of them spoke yet everything felt just right. It was bliss. It was a puzzle that had been jumbled, scattered, and suddenly put back together.
Nero removed his hand from Raivis’s chest, running his hands down the other male’s sides, sending shivers through him. The night air was cold but within their bubble of space it was broiling.
Raivis brought a hand up and covered his four eyes. An awkwardness spread through his being. “Nero,” His voice was dim, hardly clear. “Forget how I feel, just-just fuck me already.”
Again a smirk pulled at Nero’s lips, this time more devious. The dragon complied.