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The surface was not what it was cracked up to be.
At least, not for Chara. Things were better now than the last time they’d been alive, sure. Humans were more accepting than they had ever been in the past. Chara generally didn’t have to worry about people outside of their family hurting them. Things were almost okay.
Almost.
It was the people in their family that were an issue now.
Chara found it ironic in a dark way. Long ago, they had felt at home in the Dreemurr family, wanted and loved. Now, it was clear that neither Toriel nor Asgore had any idea what to think of them. Toriel had seemed ready to take back Chara under her wing immediately—until it had come out that they had orchestrated the plan that had claimed both their life and Asriel’s. Since then, Toriel had been… more emotionally distant than not. And then Asgore couldn’t help but be too emotional whenever Chara was in the vicinity.
Frisk had insisted on Chara living with them at the beginning. They, Toriel, Flowey, and Sans shared a house. Chara had been moved in with Frisk and Flowey, and Frisk seemed to think of them all as one big, happy family. And they almost were.
Almost.
To Chara, they were anything but. All they could see when they looked at Toriel was sadness and wariness in her eyes. Sans cracked a lot of jokes, but when it came down to it, he never seemed quite sure of how to deal with Chara. And Flowey… Chara couldn’t help but feel guilt the weight of an elephant on their chest when they looked at him.
Chara had held on until they could bear it no more, then they finally asked to live with someone else. Anyone else.
Toriel had protested (or at least put on the show of protesting) and tried to make up for her lack of emotional support, but it was clear how much pain she was in. Chara insisted they needed to live somewhere else.
But despite the size of what Frisk considered their family, there weren’t a whole lot of options. Asgore was just as unreachable as Toriel in his own way. Undyne and Alphys, who had been Chara’s first choice, had their own kids to worry about.
There was really only one other option. And that was how Chara ended up living with Papyrus and Mettaton.
Papyrus and Mettaton had no children, nor did they have any kind of history involving Chara that made it too emotional for them to care for them. Papyrus had jumped at the chance, in fact. Mettaton had been a little less enthusiastic, but he’d seemed to have some kind of weird soft spot for Chara since the beginning.
The day Chara had moved into the house—a mansion, really—they had made it clear to Papyrus and Mettaton that they were not interested in developing a true parental relationship with them. They were done with parental figures. They couldn’t be relied on. They did feel a little bad, though, after they had snapped at Papyrus after he’d said that he could be a great mom. The skeleton had looked like he was about to cry for a few seconds, but he’d brushed it off and declared that he was going to show Chara their room, anyway.
They’d been there almost three weeks now, and they had barely interacted with Papyrus or Mettaton that whole time. It was easy, avoiding them—this place had no business being as big as it was, only housing three people. If Chara was hungry, and Papyrus was in the first floor kitchen, Chara would take food from the second-floor kitchen. If Mettaton was watching television in the third-floor sitting room, Chara would sneak into the library across the house on the same floor. Otherwise, they had their own gargantuan bedroom and bathroom to themself.
Papyrus and Mettaton had tried a few times to connect with Chara, usually through gifts. It never worked, though, because having a bunch of useless items with little sentimental value was the last thing Chara cared about. They simply mumbled a “thanks,” then took the item up to their room, put it somewhere, and went to do something else that didn’t involve talking to their guardians.
And yet, despite what most would think, it wasn’t like Chara wanted to not trust anyone. Actually, the desperation with which they longed to be close to someone again made their chest hurt to the point of tears, at times. But everyone they had ever trusted had betrayed them. Their human parents, the Dreemurrs, and, most damningly, Asriel.
So they had no plans to become close with Papyrus or Mettaton.
Up to this point, Chara hadn’t said two words put together to either monster. And now, a Friday night after a tough day at school, they were almost regretting that.
Almost.
They’d headed straight to their room after getting out of Papyrus’s car without a word to the skeleton, as they always did. They’d ignored Mettaton a few hours later when he had knocked on their door to tell them dinner was ready, as he always did. And they had ignored both of them when the monsters came to ask if they wanted to be tucked in… as they always did.
Chara had to give those two credit; they were stubborn. The gifts had almost ceased, but neither of them had skipped a day asking if they wanted dinner or to be tucked in, or how school had been that day or if they minded stopping at the store on the way home. It almost made Chara believe they were actually valued in this house.
Almost.
They knew that ultimately, none of this would last, and Papyrus and Mettaton would give up on them, no matter what Papyrus said about him never giving up on people.
It was inevitable.
So that night, as always, they tucked themself into bed… and, as always, woke up from a nightmare only a few hours later.
At this point, they were more aggravated than anything. Chara just wanted one decent night’s sleep; was that really too much to ask?
Chara threw their blankets off and went to peek out the door. The house was dark—a little surprising, since it was barely after midnight and Papyrus was notorious for his night owl tendencies. They squinted in the direction of Papyrus and Mettaton’s room, but could see no glint of light indicating they were awake.
Since it was a Friday night, and they had no school tomorrow, Chara decided they would get some snacks and sneak down to the home theater room to watch something.
It didn’t take them long at all to get the food and slip into the theater room. But it did take a while for them to figure out what they wanted to watch. They had never been particularly interested in television, and the pure amount of streaming services Mettaton paid for (some of which Chara had never even heard of; what the hell was Mubi ?) made it nearly impossible for them to narrow down what they might like.
They were scrolling through Netflix for the second time when a voice scared the living daylights out of them.
“Chara? What are you doing?”
Chara spun around, the remote flying out of their hands as they jumped. Grimacing, they scrambled to grab it off the floor, ignoring the skeleton standing in the doorway.
“Is everything okay?” Papyrus asked. “You don’t usually do this.”
“I thought you were asleep,” Chara snapped.
“I was trying to. I heard you get up, though.”
“Do you have to speak so loudly?”
Chara couldn’t quite get a read on the look that crossed Papyrus’s face, but the skeleton chose to ignore the question, instead coming over to sit next to the child. “What are you trying to watch?” he asked in a softer voice.
Chara shrugged. “I don’t know. Something.”
“Hm, very descriptive. I will try to find ‘something’ for you.”
“You aren’t going to make me go back to bed?” Chara tilted their head. Toriel would never have let them stay up this late, especially watching television.
“I assume you’re up for a reason. If you can’t sleep, what’s the point of being in bed?” Papyrus pulled up Disney Plus and scrolled through the cartoons.
“I am not five, I don’t want to watch cartoons.”
“Normally I would agree with you, but Frisk introduced me to one you might like.”
“Not interested.”
“Well, I’ve got nothing, then.” Papyrus sighed and switched off the TV. He glanced at the food Chara had brought. “You have a surprisingly healthy taste in snacks,” he said, picking up a bag of veggie sticks. Then he saw the four chocolate bars hidden behind the bag and sighed again. “I take that back. You’re going to make yourself sick.”
“Oh, yes. I’m sure you care very much if I’m ill. You can’t have me throwing up all over the house.”
“Of course I do! I’m your m—”
“You’re not my mom!” Chara leapt up from their seat and marched to the doorway.
“Chara—”
Chara turned furiously. “You are not my mom. You will never be my mom. You should be glad you’re not my mom.”
Papyrus’s brow contracted. “What do you mean?”
Chara avoided his gaze. That last part had just slipped out… burst out, more like. They didn’t know why. Their mom was the last thing they wanted to talk about, normally.
Instead of answering Papyrus, they ran out of the room.
Back in their room upstairs, Chara hid under their blankets on the bed, not caring at the moment if this was something only five-year-olds did. They really hoped Papyrus would just leave them alone.
But of course, after just a couple minutes of hiding, they heard a soft knock on their door.
That damned skeleton. He could never leave well enough alone.
Chara didn’t move. After a few more seconds, the door opened, and there was whispering. Great, Papyrus had gotten Mettaton involved now.
“Chara, darling? Papy told me you were up. Would you like me to go make some tea?”
Chara’s first impulse was to shout no, go away, but they actually considered it for a minute. They almost said yes.
Almost.
But, spitefully, they decided not to say anything at all.
Chara then heard two presences moving in the room. Two bodies sitting by the foot of the bed. Two voices they couldn’t quite make out. Not that they cared what they were saying.
“Chara, dear heart…”
Chara wanted to rip his syrupy, saccharine voicebox right out of his throat.
“...is there something we’re doing wrong?”
…What?
“What do you mean?” Chara said from their little cocoon.
“Darling, we can’t hear you.”
“What do you mean, something you’re doing wrong?” Chara said loudly as they whipped the blankets from their head.
“Well, we wondered if… maybe we got off on the wrong foot, or offended you, somehow,” Papyrus said. His voice was uncharacteristically soft.
“Why would you think that?” Chara asked blankly.
“Sweet, you’ve done nothing but avoid us since you came here. I can’t remember a single time you’ve talked to us on your own, without us trying to prompt you,” Mettaton said. “I just feel like… maybe I, in particular, said something that hurt you. I know I can be rather… abrasive at times.”
“Have you ever considered for even a millisecond that not everything is about you?”
Mettaton blinked. “Well—I—”
“I know you love to think that the world revolves around you, and that every little thing that happens is because of you, but for once in your fabulous, glittery, sequin-adorned life, this is something that has nothing to do with you.”
Chara couldn’t help but feel a kind of sick satisfaction at the confusion on Mettaton’s face. The robot turned to Papyrus, then back to Chara, and the child’s satisfaction disappeared as they realized that Mettaton wasn’t just confused, he was actually hurt.
And here they’d thought he was entirely too self-absorbed to ever take an insult to heart. To ever care about what someone else thought of him. To ever care about anything outside of him at all.
But he was here now, wasn’t he? Some part of him must care about them, to be here, at this time of night, after he’d already gone to bed, thinking that he might be the source of their distress.
But if he did, surely it was only because he and Papyrus had gotten stuck with Chara. It was only because they’d been the only barrier between Chara and the foster system. And at this rate, that barrier was crashing down. Mettaton wouldn’t care much longer. Even Papyrus would burn out at some point. And after that, it’d be a group home until they were eighteen.
“Chara—” Papyrus’s voice brought the child out of their head. “If it isn’t us, then why won’t you talk to us? You know we want you to like it here.”
“Are you telling me your first assumption was not just… that it’s me? I find that extraordinarily hard to believe.”
“What do you mean, ‘it’s you’?”
Chara laughed mirthlessly. “Everywhere I go, I am the worst kid in the group. Nobody wants me around. Even the Dreemurrs gave up on me after they learned how horrible I truly am. I know you aren’t any different.”
“Chara… we can’t comment on the Dreemurrs, but… Papyrus and I don’t care about any of that. We do want you.”
“You only took me because you were the only ones who could.”
“Sweet, Papyrus was utterly over the moon when he learned you wanted to move in with someone else. Admittedly, I had my reservations, but they had little to do with you and everything to do with the fact that, well…” Mettaton pursed his lips. “I honestly think I’d be a horrible parent.”
Chara wrapped their arms around their knees. “That is… deeply funny. Honestly, I don’t think you’ve been doing a bad job. I’m the one who’s making it so hard.”
“We know you’ve been through a lot, Chara. Things no child should ever have to deal with,” Papyrus said sympathetically. “But we really do want to help.”
“So help us help you. Why don’t we start with why you’re up so late tonight?” Mettaton said.
Chara rolled their eyes. “It was a nightmare. Nothing I haven’t had before.”
“So what’s helped you get past them before?” asked Papyrus.
“Nothing. I just go back to sleep after a while, and usually have another one.”
“There’s nothing else that helps? Anything at all?” Mettaton pressed.
Chara wanted to yell at him to screw off, but they were tired… so tired. They chose to think carefully instead. As their gaze turned from Mettaton to Papyrus, they remembered how badly he wanted to be their mom… and that brought something to mind.
“When I was very little, I think my mother used to let me crawl into her bed and sleep if I had a night terror,” they said slowly.
“Well, we can—”
“No. Absolutely not. I am eleven, not three.”
“It’s not embarrassing, Chara! Before I moved in with Mettaton, I would sometimes go to Sans’s room if I had a nightmare, and we’d dreamshare!” said Papyrus, sounding more like his boisterous self. “Sadly, humans and monsters cannot dreamshare together, but you would probably gain some comfort from having people who love you around you!”
Love. Chara almost snorted. Love was a strong word for their relationship. But then, it wasn’t hard to believe that Papyrus was sincere about using it. Nothing about Papyrus’s encouragement of others had ever seemed fake. If Papyrus said he loved Chara…
Chara almost believed it.
Almost.
At the very least, he was convincing enough, and Chara was tired enough, that they didn’t really feel like arguing.
“Our bed is a king, darling. Papyrus and I practically swim in it. You won’t have to worry about being kicked or anything like that,” Mettaton told them.
“It will not stop me from having more nightmares tonight.”
“But Mettaton and I will be right there to do whatever you need!” Papyrus was definitely back to his usual self.
“...Fine,” Chara sighed. “But you don’t breathe a word of this to anyone.”
“Of course, darling. Contrary to popular opinion, Papyrus and I can keep a secret.” Mettaton winked.
On the way to Papyrus and Mettaton’s room, Chara considered briefly going back to their own bed, but didn’t, figuring the two monsters would protest. Inside the room, Chara couldn’t see much; most of the corners were dark, with the exception of the far left, where a lamp was lit next to the bed. The sheets of the bed were a golden yellow, and as Chara placed a hand on the side to hoist themself up, they realized they were soft, too.
The mattress was squishy; Chara figured they must have a foam pad on top as they climbed onto the bed. Papyrus tossed them a pillow, and Chara caught it just before it would have hit them in the face. Slightly annoyed by that, they shoved the other two pillows to one side and put their pillow on the right of the bed, then lay down and closed their eyes.
They were startled by Mettaton’s voice. “Ahem, that’s my side.”
“I am not moving.”
“Dearest, I have to get up early tomorrow. Please let me have my side back.”
Huffing, Chara tried to drag their pillow to the opposite side, but was stopped short by Papyrus, who was now sitting on that side, and didn’t look like he wanted to move. The child finally just positioned their pillow in the middle and pulled the blankets up to their forehead.
Papyrus and Mettaton soon settled in on either side of them, and Chara heard someone switch off the light. Soon enough, they could tell the two of them were both asleep. They considered crawling out and going back to their own bed, but honestly… Mettaton’s body gave off a warmth that seeped out into the sheets, and the quiet noises that the mechanisms in his body made almost sounded like a white noise machine. Chara found it hard to keep their eyes open. They wondered vaguely if an actual white noise machine would help them sleep back in their room.
They must have fallen asleep not long after that, because they found themself waking up in tears a few hours later.
They never woke up in tears.
Chara tried to keep their sobs quiet, but of course Papyrus was the lightest of light sleepers. They could barely see him sit up in the dark. “Chara? What’s wrong?”
“Go away,” Chara croaked.
“But you’re not okay! Please, let the Great Papyrus help. Did you have a bad dream? Do you want to talk about it?”
Chara breathed in deeply through their nose. “Yes, and no.”
“Well, that’s okay. Can I… can I hug you?”
“...What?”
“Can I hug you? I won’t touch you if you don’t want me to.” Papyrus sounded deathly serious.
Chara could not remember ever having been asked that.
Their human parents had always forced them to hug family members, even the creepy ones. They were always getting pushed and shoved at school. Even the Dreemurrs, when Chara had lived with them, had hugged them or put a hand on their head or shoulder without thinking to ask about it first.
And here was Papyrus, the last person Chara ever would have thought would be conscientious of that kind of thing, doing what no one else had ever done for them.
Something broke within Chara at that moment.
Sobs renewed, they managed to say, “Yeah…”
And bony arms wrapped around them.
Chara never would have thought that a hug from a skeleton would be this warm, this soft, this… comfortable. It shouldn’t have been any of those things.
Chara almost broke away for the unfamiliarity of this kind of affection.
Almost.
“Wuzz happening…?” Mettaton stirred on the other side of Chara and turned over. “Oh, darling…”
“We’ve got you, Chara, and we’re never letting go.” Papyrus’s voice left no room for doubt.
“Can I get in on this?” Mettaton asked.
Chara nodded against Papyrus’s chest.
“They say yes.”
Another pair of arms embraced them, these even warmer, even softer, even more comfortable. Never in their life would Chara have ever used those words in reference to Mettaton before this moment.
And it was in this moment that Chara realized that both of these monsters had much more to give than they ever would have expected.
They closed their eyes, and eventually, their sobs died.
When the sun rose that next morning, it streamed through the window, lighting up the room and revealing three people in the bed, all wrapped in each other’s arms, sleeping soundly.
It wasn’t long before the light woke Chara, but for once in their life, they didn’t want to get up. What Papyrus and Mettaton had given them last night seemed to have been exactly what they needed. Whatever had broken in their chest last night… it was just starting to mend.
Chara knew it would be a while before they really trusted anyone again. But this night had given them hope. Hope for a family. Hope for the future. Hope that they were going to get through this. They would emerge on the other side, victorious.
And this time, there was no “almost” about it.