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What I Wish to Be

Summary:

The man standing across the way was beautiful, in a uniquely inhuman way. He looked almost like he was carved out of stone, perfectly still until he had to move. His stance looked intentional, even as he moved to adjust his arm, it was all calculated.

He had dark brown skin, long fingers with sharp white fingernails. He was wearing brown slacks, a silk orange dress-shirt that was unbuttoned so you could see some of his chest, and a fitted light brown leather jacket that went down to his knees. He was holding a lit cigarette but he wasn’t smoking it, just letting it burn in his hand.

Notes:

this is my first time posting fanfic so hopefully its good!!

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter 1: “Do you still feel the pain, of the scars that won’t heal?”

Chapter Text

 

SATURDAY MARCH 3RD, 1973 - SAN FRANCISCO
DANIEL MOLLOY

Daniel woke up to a loud noise outside, which wasn’t abnormal for the city, but it certainly didn’t help the growing hangover he’d probably be nursing all weekend. Some kind of bang? He didn’t know or care at this point. He wasn’t even sure if it was morning or night, courtesy of the blackout curtains he had bought after his interview with Louis. While he didn’t think Louis would stalk him through his window, hell the man didn’t even care enough to kill him, he still felt like he was being watched. He felt exposed, like even his thoughts weren’t private. The curtain helped, not as much as it should, but it helped.

Staring at the ceiling was getting him nowhere and just made the migraine he had worse, so he decided to get up. His sheets were dirty and he hadn’t had the time to go to the dry cleaner so all he really had was his blanket and a pillowcase, which wasn’t the most comfortable thing in the world but it was manageable. He had one Tylenol left, half the shit in his apartment was running out so he’d have to submit a story soon. The only things worth noting in his cabinet were the almost empty Tylenol bottle, a quickly depleting baggie of coke, and a cheap bottle of whiskey he got from the liquor store a block away from his apartment. He’d better submit a story soon or else he’ll have to get an even cheaper apartment than this one, which already wasn’t clean or up to code. He took the Tylenol before deciding that he should go to a nearby coffee shop and review some of the more recent interviews he’d done. After all he should try and get at least some progress on his work.

Daniel threw on jeans, a band t-shirt that he should probably throw out based on the amount of holes around the neckline, boots, and a brown leather jacket. He grabbed his crossbody bag with his tapes and notebook before leaving the apartment. He almost didn’t lock the door, after all he had nothing worth stealing. But he decided against it, he didn’t want to risk coming home to a rando in his apartment with a knife.

He lit a cigarette and began walking away from his building. The cool air was strangely calming, usually Daniel hated it this time of year, most people who live in California don’t particularly like the cold. But the way the cool air felt in his throat made him almost forget the uneasy feeling that was slowly creeping up his spine. He was being watched. He tried to dismiss it, chalk it up to paranoia, but he just couldn’t shake it. It was the middle of the day so he knew that it couldn’t have been Louis, but he remembered the way it felt when Louis was looking at him in the bar before he approached. It was the same feeling, an inhuman attentiveness that you could feel even if you didn’t know the other person was there.

The door to the shop opened with a ring. It was busy and crowded, but that didn’t help him shake just how uneasy he was. Daniel didn’t order anything, because god knows he couldn’t afford that right now. The walls were painted a brownish orange with yellow swirls in them, the baristas wore orange aprons, the floor and tables were all deep oak wood. The ceiling was a light mint green, as were the cushions on all of the chairs and the booths. There's a jukebox in the corner, its wood is the same brown as the rest with orange and mint green accents. He sat down at an empty table, pulled out his tapes and his notebook. Before he could fully settle down, a song began to play.

The song choice isn’t unexpected, he’s heard this song before, it’s a hit and people bring it up to him about twenty times a day when he introduces himself. Still, it disturbed him. Why was it playing now? It felt like someone was playing it specifically for him.

“Daniel my brother, you are older than me. Do you still feel the pain, of the scars that won’t heal?”

He looked around, saw if there was anyone looking at him, anyone who recognized him. There was nothing. But he could feel it. He could feel the eyes on him as he scrambled to put away his note book and tapes, as he looked around the room, outside the restaurant.

 

“Daniel is traveling tonight on a plane. I can see the red taillights heading for Spain, oh, and I can see Daniel waving goodbye. God, it looks like Daniel. Must be the clouds in my eyes.”

 

It felt almost like the music was getting louder. It wasn’t a scary song, it was calm and the lyrics were sad. Despite that, something about it still scared him. Maybe he was being paranoid, maybe it was all just in his head. The song ended, but the feeling lingered.

Daniel decided to prove that he was being paranoid for no reason. He walked up to where one of the baristas was making a drink, though he didn’t get in line.

 

“Hey, uh, do you know who put on the last song? I mean obviously you wouldn’t know who, but did you see anyone?”

 

He was still stressed out and clearly the barista could see it based on the way she was eyeing him.

“I, uhm, no I didn’t see anyone. I am glad though, someone must’ve finally fixed the machine, it’s been down for months.” Shit. She said it casually, like the music was something she barely even noticed. She must’ve seen the way Daniel reacted though. “…Are you alright?”

He tried to compose himself before he next spoke, he hoped it worked, though it probably didn’t. “No, no, yeah I'm fine! Thanks for the information.” His wild gestures he made while he spoke made it so that the barista probably didn’t believe him, but she wasn’t paid enough to care anyway.

That isn’t definitive, but knowing that there's vampires out there with mind powers and shit, ones that were likely very pissed off at him, it wasn’t a particularly good sign.

He rushed to grab his bag and ran out the door. He immediately slams into a woman walking into the store. “Im sorry I-“ Daniel stops talking as soon as he notices the man standing on the sidewalk across the street.

“Hey whats your fucking problem man?” The woman says before walking off. Daniel can’t bring himself to respond.

The man standing across the way was beautiful, in a uniquely inhuman way. He looked almost like he was carved out of stone, perfectly still until he had to move. His stance looked intentional, even as he moved to adjust his arm, it was all calculated.

He had dark brown skin, long fingers with sharp white fingernails. He was wearing brown slacks, a silk orange dress-shirt that was unbuttoned so you could see some of his chest, and a fitted light brown leather jacket that went down to his knees. He was holding a lit cigarette but he wasn’t smoking it, just letting it burn in his hand. He had curly black hair that reached the middle of his neck and was parted to the side.

All of those details Daniel almost didn’t notice, because of his eyes. The man’s eyes were a bright unnatural orange, and he was staring at him, unblinking. Daniel felt like he couldn’t escape the man’s gaze, it was trapping him in place. He’d seen this man before, at the bar. Louis asked him if he wanted to join them, and the man said no. The man was horrifying, but that only made him more beautiful.

Daniel blinked and suddenly the man was gone, like he was never there. He looked around, but he found no one.

 

- - -

Notes:

i was meant to finish this a while ago but the curse got to me and i ended up in the hospital. but im fine now so .