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She could hear them talking and laughing and even roughhousing in the bedroom. Erin stood in front of the mirror. She’d just gotten out of the shower. Since there was a three year old in her bedroom, she moisturized in the bathroom. Then she dressed in flannel pajama pants and FBI Academy tee shirt.
After dressing, Erin pulled her hair up and pinned it. She sighed as she looked in the mirror. She wasn’t as young as she used to be. First Erin took off her makeup with rosewater towelettes. Then she put on a cucumber and pomegranate seed mask, which peeled off after ten minutes. It removed dead layers of skin…sexy.
While she waited to peel was when she brushed her teeth. When her face was clean again it was time for Oil of Olay night serum. Damn, this had been her ritual for what seemed like forever. Erin didn’t think she looked bad. There were women her age who hadn't taken half as much care of their skin.
She felt her body needed a bit of a tune up though. She’d been so busy with Noah, and worrying they would all be murdered by a serial killer that exercise fell by the wayside. She’d been emotional eating and drinking more than usual as well. The year was almost over.
For 2010 Erin promised herself that she’d get back on the horse…or the treadmill. She also needed some time away. While going with Dave seemed like a great idea, she was willing to go without him. This was about her. The last time she’d had some time all to herself eluded her.
“Hey, hey,” Erin smiled as she walked into the bedroom. “Someone is up past their bedtime.”
“Who?” Noah asked.
He and Dave were playing superhero on the bed while Mudgie relaxed. Noah had Iron Man while Dave preferred Superman. This didn’t consist of much more than them crashing into each other and Noah falling over in a fit of laughter. That suited his father just fine.
“Who? Who? Well isn’t that an interesting question.” Erin sat down on the bed. “C'mere you.”
Noah rushed over to her, throwing his arms around her. Erin hugged him tight.
“Who loves you all the way to the moon and back?” she asked him.
“Mama does. I love you Mama ‘cross the universe.”
“Gimme a kiss.”
Noah did and smiled as he plopped down in her lap. She looked at Dave and he was smiling too. He looked like the happiest man on Earth. She could feel it coming off of him in waves. It was a great feeling.
They had been through so much lately; dark times. Now they were coming out of it. Family moments were something to be enjoyed again. It wasn’t just a way to occupy their worried child who sensed that something was off. They were normal again. They were as normal as this family unit was ever going to be.
“It’s a school night, Mister; time to put up the toys and get some sleep.”
Noah looked at his father but Dave just laughed and shook his head.
“Oh no buddy, you're not pitting me against Mama. I never, ever win.”
“Can I sleep with you?” Noah cuddled closer to Erin.
It had been raining all day and the thunder moved in later in the evening. Noah didn’t like thunderstorms; Erin didn’t know many three year olds who did. She figured they’d have an extra bunkmate tonight. These were the times when having a California king-sized bed came in handy.
“You can sleep on Mama’s side…I’ll sleep in the middle.”
“OK.” Noah grinned.
“Let’s get under the covers.”
He hopped up from her lap and then hopped, just like a bunny, to the top of the bed. Mudgie didn’t even move. Before Noah, the tiniest thing made him jump up. Sometimes he barked and sniffed around. Since Noah, very little did that. Mudgie knew which noise was worth investigating and which was the insane toddler who now lived with them.
Noah climbed under all covers. Erin never liked sheets because they didn't hold much warmth; she barely liked them in the summer. So there was a blanket and comforter on the bed. Noah pulled them up to his chin just as he would in his own bed. Dave carefully pulled one of the pillows from under his head.
“Sing me a song Mama; please.”
“Well…” Erin balked a little. She didn’t sing in front of Dave. It wasn’t that she was ashamed, her voice was above par. It just wasn’t something she did.
“Please.” He put his hands together like he was praying, squeezed his eyes shut, and grinned from ear to ear. This was Noah’s version of pretty please with a cherry on top.
“Alright.” She sighed but smiled. “What song do you want to hear?”
“Carpenters!” he exclaimed.
“OK, what about Close to You?”
“Yeah.”
Noah didn’t know the name of the songs but it didn’t matter. More often than not he wanted Erin to sing to him every night. He loved all the songs she sang; they helped him sleep better. Hearing her happy voice always gave him good dreams.
Erin cleared her voice and looked at Dave. He could see the apprehension in her eyes.
“Do you want me to make you some tea?” he asked. “I know it would probably help you relax before bed.”
“Oh thank you sweetheart, I’d love that.” she smiled.
“No problem.” Dave smiled. “I'm going downstairs so I’ll say goodnight right now Noah.”
“Night, night Daddy.”
“Sweet dreams buddy.” He leaned, kissed his forehead, and got up from the bed.
After he left the room, Erin leaned over their son and started to sing. Noah closed his eyes as he swayed to the music.
Why do birds suddenly appear?
Every time you are near
Just like me, they long to be
Close to you
Why do stars fall down from sky?
Every time you walk by
Just like me, they long to be
Close to you
On the day that you were born
The angels got together
And decided to create a dream come true
So they sprinkled moon dust in your hair
And golden starlight in your eyes of blue
She didn’t have to sing it twice tonight. Noah was up past his bedtime and was tired. Once he was under the covers, nice and warm, sleep was easy. Even though tomorrow was Monday and they’d had a four day weekend together, Noah wasn’t going to school. He would hang out with his sitter at home.
Dave was probably going to go to Quantico so he could write uninterrupted. Erin would do the last of her Christmas shopping and enjoy one more day away from work. There was surely plenty waiting in her inbox when she returned. And on Thursday there would be breakfast meetings. That was the perfect way to kill her appetite.
When Dave tiptoed back into the room, Erin couldn’t help but smile. He was so cute trying to be quiet and not wake Noah. The three year old was sound asleep and Mudgie was right beside him as always. Erin was curled up on the loveseat with a book. Dave put the tea on the table beside her before sitting down. She moved into his arms. Dave smiled when he put his arms around her.
“You don’t need to be embarrassed to sing in front of me.” he said, kissing her forehead.
“I'm not.” She shook her head.
“You're not?”
“No, it’s just…” Erin sighed. “Singing to Noah is personal. I don’t know how that sounds; I hope it’s not like a selfish bitch but…”
“Mama has certain things with her baby and Daddy doesn’t get to interrupt.”
“Something like that.”
“I get it.”
“I'm glad. I always want you to be involved with things Noah and I do together.”
“I understand Erin, I do. I'm just glad that you love him as much as he loves you.”
“Like his father before him I found him irresistible. We’re a family now.”
“Almost.” Dave said.
“What does that mean?” she looked at him. There wasn’t anger in her eyes, just curiosity. If Dave was up to something Erin would be able to see it. For better or for worse, she’d always been able to read him. That didn’t mean that the story wouldn’t be complicated.
“I was just thinking…you know if we got married…”
“No.” she shook her head.
“Ouch, you don’t have to say it so quickly.”
“I don’t want to ruin a good thing. We've both been there and done that before. This is something different.”
“Is it?”
“I love you.” Erin lay in his arms again. “I love you so much and I love our relationship just how it is. Marriage brings expectations and all the other things we don’t need. Maybe it’s a copout, I don't know, but I don’t want it right now. I'm not saying I never want it David; I want to be with you. I just don’t want it right now.”
“Well let me know when you do.”
“I already have all that I want. The rest will be icing on the cake.”
“You always were a dessert kinda girl, Erin Strauss.”
Erin laughed and held him tighter. She would stay like this while her tea cooled. Then Erin would go to bed. The storm was over them now and this was perfect sleeping weather. She wasn’t even going to set her alarm in the morning. Feeling as if she had all the time in the world was a false but wonderful feeling. What she had with Dave was completely real, and felt even better.
***