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“When I die, I want you to eat me.”
She’s laid out next to him, on the futon they now share, naked and as white as fresh snow. It has been a calm quiet for the past few minutes, of two people catching their breath after sex, and Legosi had moved to open the window for some fresh air, to let the moonlight creep in uninterrupted.
His hand stills against the window pane, looking down at her, his heart rate picking up suddenly, quick and flighty with fear and dread. His wide eyes search hers, trying to find any trace of humour in her gaze, wondering if this is just her usual way of catching him off-guard to make sure he’s still there and listening to her. But she’s looking up at the ceiling, thoughtful and not playful.
“Wh-what?” He sputters, suddenly dropping to his knees and crawling on the floor back to her. “H-Haru what are you–?” When he’s returned to her side she smiles, bringing her hand up to rest atop his snout, giving him a gentle pat.
“Hush, I’m being serious. I’m fine, I’ve decided I’m going to live a long life with you, but rabbits aren’t exactly built to last.” She turns on her side, looking up at him and scooting in to coax him back to bed. He obliges, and as he does he half-wonders if his fur is about to turn white with shock again. Because the thought of Haru dying…of eating her?
Those thoughts do still plague him. There will always be that part of him that desires her in full .
Haru pulls herself in close, resting her cheek against his chest, listening to the thrum of his heartbeat. Such a strong and warm sound.
“I was just thinking about those rabbits. Remember? That shop where I wanted you to kiss me? They looked peaceful.”
He remembers, shutting his eyes. She looked so warm and alive amongst the cold and dead. He only ever wants to imagine her alive. Think about her alive. Never dead…
“But why were you thinking about them all of a sudden?” His voice is quiet, afraid to ask but wanting to know.
“Because it’s funny. Kissing you now is still awkward, but effortless. Sex is still…well, an effort , but it just had me thinking. I’ll have a family with you, grow old with you, and unless you start doing dangerous things again like you used to, I’ll die before you.
“So, when that happens, I want you to eat me. Meat, blood, bone, marrow…All of me. I don’t know why, but the thought of it makes me happy.”
“Haru, I don’t think I can do that…”
She laughs, understanding, and she snuggles her face closer to him.
“Fine. Just save my ashes then, and when you die, have our kids mix mine with yours.”