Chapter Text
The night was properly dark and stormy, just what he needed now. Quiet as a bat, Mysterion ran through the rooftops, his cape fluttering on the wind.
A lightning bolt revealed exactly what he was looking for - tinfoil glimmered several feet away.
“Chaos, reveal yourself!” - his voice echoed through the night, a roar of thunder following it.
His nemesis stepped away from the chimney, settling for a subtle viscous chuckle rather than the usual maniacal laughter.
“Too late, Mysterion! My plan is already in motion. There is nothing you can do to save your friends! In a week's time, you’ll never see them again.”
That was a low blow. Too low.
“You had nothing to do with their fate, Chaos.”
“Did so! Or don’t you know that I went to Boulder myself and threatened the university people until they swore to accept Toolshed and Human Kite in their ranks?”
“They would have gotten in anyway, you know that! And you didn’t threaten anyone, you made them fucking cookies.”
“Those were very nice cookies though, right?”
“...Yeah,” - Mysterion hated agreeing with the Professor, but there was nothing he could do. - “I like chocolate chips.”
“Well, maybe some of the professors don’t! Maybe they’re allergic! See, it was a truly devious deed.”
“Yeah, and I’ll beat the shit out of you for that,” - Mysterion growled. Finally, they were getting to the fun part.
“Oh, Mysterion,” - Professor whimpered, stepping back into the shadows, - “you wouldn’t beat up a girl, would you? Not very hero-like.”
Not this again. This was Marjie’s to-go card ever since she came out to him. Every single time she would make those puppy eyes and cry about being a girl, knowing full well it would make Kenny not want to fight her, only to immediately interpret his retaliation as defeat and proclaim “another victory for the almighty Chaos!”. Granted, it only happened like this the first three times she used this excuse, and all the other times it would just lead to nothing more than a prolonged cat-and-mouse game before an inevitable fight. Kenny suspected Marjie preferred it this way.
“I fight villains. You’re a villain, no matter if you’re a girl or not. Honestly, it’s even feminist of me to accept you as a foe.”
“Oh, oh is it?” - Chaos tried to sound menacing before going back to her usual slightly confused demeanor. - “Yeah, yeah, I suppose it is. Thanks?”
“Welcome.”
Then, with no precourse, Chaos punched him in the nose.
“Marj, what the fuck!?”
“Oh heck, Ken, I thought we were fighting already, I’m so sor-”
He rammed into her mid-sentence, pinning her to the ground.
“We are now,” - he whispered in her ear. His favourite move.
From then on, the night came alive with the sounds of punches, scratches, and labored breathing - Chaos bit his ear, he gave her a wet willy, she kneed him in the stomach, sending him flying, and then the world kept turning up and down, up and down, until…
“Shit!” - Mysterion didn’t notice them getting way too close to the edge of the wet and slippery roof and suddenly found himself hanging on for his dear life at five-story height.
“Kenny!” - Marjie shrieked, grabbing him by both wrists, her tinfoil mittens making it rather difficult to get a proper grasp.
“It’s… It’s over, Chaos,” - Mysterion chuckled sadly. - “You defeated me one last time. You’ve got to let me go.”
“Stop being silly,” - Chaos replied, - “It’s not fun if you die. Grab onto my cape, it’s right here.”
“I’ll only take you down with me…”
“See, you’re being silly again and I’m right sick of it!” - Marjie tore one of her mittens off with her teeth and dragged Mysterion back on the roof by his cape.
“Mar… Marjie, thank you, I…” - Kenny struggled to catch his breath.
“Now, you listen to me, Mysterion,” - she stood up and pointed a finger at him, looking positively pissed. - “Every single time we have a battle and I start to win, it’s the same hecking stuff when you beg me to let you die or something. It might be fun for you…”
“It's not…”
“And it's not fun for me either! Then why do you keep doing it?”
“Because I'm scared that you'll kill yourself trying to save me!”
“Then why shouldn't I be scared about your death wish?”
“I can't die, unlike you, dumbass.”
“So I've heard, a million times or so. Doesn't make it feel better. And every time you do say that you died it just feels for me like you left me alone, and all that I can do is just go home sad and lonely or drag myself over half the town to your house only to find there's no more time left for us to hang out. It feels like real crap, Kenny, it does.”
“I’m… sorry, Marj, but what can I do?”
“Stop killing yourself, of course!”
“Haven’t got much of a choice, not ever since I was a kid.”
“You know what I think? I think you do have a choice. It’s just you got so used to being able to come back to life every time that you have become reliant on it, and it made you really freaking careless. In every situation when any other person would fight for their life you lay back and let it take you because you feel it’s easier that way, and that’s depressing and dangerous, you see? Because one day you’ll think you’ll come back and it will bite you in the butt, and you’ll be dead for good. And the world will be worse for it, Kenny. The world will be really shitty without you.”
Marjie took a deep breath and turned around, looking up at the slowly clearing sky. Kenny didn’t really have to guess to know that she was crying. He quietly stepped behind her and hugged her tight, breathing her perfume in. A light, flowery scent, something vaguely Hawaiian and unisex enough not to cause any questions from her parents. Very Marjie.
He rested his head on her shoulder, the tinfoil helmet rustling next to his ear. Marjie was a couple inches taller than him; Kenny thought it was hot.
“Babe,” - he whispered in her ear. - “I won’t let the world be shitty to you. Whatever it takes.”
Marjie’s shoulders rose up and dropped again in a deep breath.
“Not exactly what I was asking for, Ken, but good enough, I guess. Let’s get home, dawn is soon, and my parents are gonna be awful sour if I’m not in my bed.”
They went back down from the roof they were on and walked slowly down the sleepy streets glistening after the rain, and it felt like they were the only people in the universe.
At some point, both their costumes went into Kenny’s backpack and they were left in their regular clothes, just a boy taking his girl back home after a late-night date, none of that superhero crap.
It didn’t take long for Kenny to spot that Marjie was shivering and, as a good boyfriend he was, he offered her his jacket, which she graciously accepted.
Hand in hand, they were almost on her street.
“Hey babe?” - he asked.
“Mpph?”
“You’ve never told me where your folks are sending you.”
“Mpph mph mph mpphmhm mphmm?”
“The college. I wanna know where to find you. Would be cool if you’re in Boulder with Stan and Kyle, I’d probably manage to move there altogether if that’s the case.”
“Nph.”
“What then?”
“Mph mph mph.”
“Say what?”
She repeated herself, not making what she said any clearer. Gosh, is that what Kenny sounded like to everyone? It’s a wonder he had any friends.
“Uhh, sure, honey. I guess we'll just have to talk more about it tomorrow, right?”
“Mphh.”
They got into the Stotches’ backyard, and everything was routine from there - the return of the jacket, a peck on the lips and a hug, Marjie climbing up the tree, slipping into her bedroom window, waving goodbye to him, - all this happened like this every night for the past three years.
If Kenny allowed himself to think that in just a couple weeks his girlfriend will be off to some college and these nights will probably never repeat again, his heart would have exploded right then and there. Marjie would be very disappointed if he died in her backyard after that whole telling off earlier.
So instead, Mysterion disappeared back into the darkness that was his home, the threat of professor Chaos kept at bay for just one more night.