Work Text:
- Do you have a boyfriend?
The girl he asks the question blushes, and twirls the strand of her hair. Robb finds it ridiculously cute. Nothing about what she does shows that she is trying to pretend to do the things she does for his attention. She takes her drink, her fifth sangria that he watered down so much that he is sure there is only pomegranate juice there, and plays with the glass straw a bit before drinking through it. Robb wonders if her mouth would look like this around his finger too. Stops his thoughts before he can think about other things she could wrap her lips around.
- No, I don't think so, I think. We’re kinda open, I think so maybe? At least that's what Trystane said. I didn't like it.
She slurs her words a little and moves her head to her left and then to her right. Robb ignores the looks Theon throws his way. He's sure he heard that name somewhere, perhaps from Sansa.
- Oh, really? Tell me about him. - he asks, trying to sound polite.
An open relationship? With a girl like that? Robb will make sure that there will be nothing open but her spread thighs when he puts his head or his, wait he just saw her after who-even-knows-how-many-years. He needs to calm down.
Theon makes a vulgar gesture under the bar but Robb ignores him again.
- I met him in Stormlands when he was studying for a semester there… We weren't close at that time… Then I went for a year there and we kind of hit it off at the end of the stay there… I mean I went to Dorne, I live in Stormlands, and I am that drunk? Why am I even drinking? - she blinks at him and continues like she didn't ask. - Sometimes I wonder, not because I do not want him, I really do want him, if he asked me to kind of reserve me, you know. At least that’s what Margaery says.
- Tyrell? - Theon asks.
He appears suddenly next to them and looks like a dog that is waiting for someone to throw him a bone now, Robb thinks. Wonders briefly if his friend can wag a tail too. Myrcella hums and finishes the drink in one go.
- Reserve you? - Robb asks.
He is not above fishing for an information from a drunk girl apparently. If only his siblings knew that.
He is also not above murdering a guy he never met. That his siblings may know about already.
- We weren't that close before and he told me we should be free to explore other people and their bodies but I didn't even explore his body or any other body than my own and once Margaery’s because my parents are terribly fucked up and I’m sure my older brother fits the criteria to be a diagnosed psychopath or maybe a narcissist only or maybe a sadist even though a sadist isn't a personality disorder anymore I think and I didn't want to bring anyone into that I mean who would want to be with someone who has a fucked up family like mine.
She says it all in one breath. Robb watches her sway again and her lips tremble. She looks like she is about to cry
- Oh, I’m sure I know at least one person who wouldn’t mind. - Theon speaks again.
Robb thinks about putting his head under the bar.
She tries to drink her sangria again and almost ends with a straw in her eye. Robb takes it from her and gives her a glass with much shorter straw and only strawberry soda with sliced limes.
- Oh, this looks so cute! - she squeals, momentarily distracted.
She narrows her eyes then at the drink like it just insulted her and sways more.
- I want to meet that person. - she tells the drink like she is throwing the spell. - I hope I will be enough for them.
She drinks the whole thing in one go, the paper straw dangerously close to her eyelid. She burbs cutely and slams the glass down so hard that it almost crashes.
- Can I have another one? - she asks with some soda in the corner of her mouth.
- Sure, if you agree to go out with me tomorrow? We can search for someone for your not-boyfriend-anymore so he can explore them and leave the exploring of your body to me. - Robb tells her. - And I know your family. Our fathers are friends. Your younger brother turned out fine.
Theon cackles aloud. Robb tries to step on his friend's toes but he takes his feet away.
- He has severe anxiety and clinical depression. - Myrcella says and her nose flares.
Even like that, Robb finds her still cute.
- How do you know my dad, are you a creep too?
- My dad knows your dad. - Robb laughs. - You are the same age as one of my brothers.
She narrows her eyes at him and pouts her mouth. Her small purse suddenly ends on the table, in the exact shade of blue as her dress, and she takes out her phone. Robb is not sure if anything other than a phone can fit in there but the view of her sticking her tongue out and biting it somehow makes all his thoughts stop.
- I am writing to Margaery to ask who you are. - she says and hiccups.
- You should send her a photo. - Theon says. - That's much safer.
- Hmm, okay. - she says, bringing her phone up and snatching it back quickly.
- Wait, can I? - she asks cutely.
She has great manners and is polite, his mother will love her for sure.
Robb nods and she has to put her elbows on the counter. Theon somehow manages to get into the shot and they both almost go blind because of the flash. Myrcella's phone lights up with a response quickly.
- Oh, it's a voice note. And she wrote to play it loudly.
Theon takes her phone and presses play. Margaery’s voice almost shrieks with annoyance.
- Theon stay away from her or… - there’s a short pause before her voice softens and turns very sexy. - Robb you can drop Myrcella at my place, pretty please and thank you. I will text you my new address.
- Robb? - Myrcella asks and pouts. - As in Robb Stark?
He texts Margaery back immediately that yes, he will get her there and find Brienne too.
- I used to be in love with Robb Stark as a child. He was my first crush.
She looks up at him drunkenly and smiles but her eyes close. Robb puts his palm quickly on the counter before her forehead can slam into it. He tries to keep her body up by her arm.
- A little bit of help here, man? - he asks Jon who is looking at the whole situation with his eyebrow raised very, very high. - I need to get her to Brienne and home. My mother and Sansa will murder me if anything happens to her.
- And Margaery too, so I will make sure to help you. - Theon butts in. - As long as you tell Margaery I did.
Jon rolls his eyes so hard that Robb is surprised he can still see anything but white.
Uncle Brynden: Cat darling, can you tell me why did Robert ask me to reserve the Riverrun for a four-day Stark and Baratheon wedding in less than a year? Should I know something? Is Sansa back with Joffrey? Do you want me to kill someone? Call me.
Ned: We need to talk
Ned: call me when you can
Ned: you won't believe this
Ned: actually call me now
Ned: Robert is going to murder me and marry you if they won’t get married
Sansa: Mum, have you seen today’s Daily Westeros online?
Aria: [photo]
It's a screenshot of a really blurry photo on a gossip website. There is a young stunning lady with smeared lipstick and golden curly hair. She is dressed in a very proper but still short blue dress. She is talking to Brienne and waving with one of her hands while the other is around Robb who has his arms around her and his head on hers. Catelyn suspects she's drunk a bit but Robb looks sober. Still, there is lipstick on his face and neck and he is holding her really tight. He looks like he is trying not to laugh while Theon is laughing openly.
“Myrcella Baratheon's first public outing with her boyfriend: are their fathers aware?”
Robert Baratheon: Cat, we are going to be a family finally!!!!! What do you think about a wedding next Spring? Perhaps a baptism of our first grandchild too if we encourage them to right now?
Robert Baratheon: That way they can have as many children as you and Ned! I think I will buy them a house in Wintertown. In what area should I search for? Can you help me perhaps?
Ned: He wants to know how much Robb makes and why he bartenders in his free time.
Ned: Cersei called me.
Cuntsei Lannister. 6 missed calls
Catelyn sighs and calls her husband. Surviving Cersei and Robert is a small sacrifice if it means Robb will settle down.