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The moon shone through a curtain of clouds, casting a silver glow across the sky. A gentle breeze rolled through the grass and played with the leaves of each tree it came across. The air was thick with the smell of the sea, the dying embers of the festival firepit and, with three clicks of a lighter, cigarette smoke. Gladion rested his elbows on the wooden porch railing, leaning out into the outside world with a sigh. It was hot. Too hot. Even this late at night, there was no reprieve from the overwhelming summer heat. Not that he was helping himself much. He took the cigarette to his lips and let the acrid burn hit the back of his throat before he exhaled, letting wisps of smoke dance off into the night. He felt his shoulders loosen as the welcoming fuzz of nicotine cradled his head, soothing the scratching at his brain. He took another breath, listening to the chittering of rattata in the night and the swaying of tall grass. If he tried hard enough, he could hear Silvally softly chirping in its sleep from the living room, though the most pervasive sound was that of cheers and jubilations of the last few partygoers as they stumbled and meandered their way home from the festival that had taken place in Iki town that night.
Gladion wasn’t entirely sure if he’d ever understand the people who could stay out quite so late at these things. He was more than happy to show his face, say his hellos, grab some (admittedly delicious) free dinner, and head back off to his safe haven on the edge of town.
Even after all this time, it felt strange for Gladion to have his own little pocket of the world to hear life go by from. For years, he wondered if it would ever even be possible. For years he thought he would always be that scared little boy running away from Aether Paradise. A scared little boy with nothing but the clothes on his back, a ragtag team that hurt as he did, and the mask of a brave face.
Sometimes, it was hard to tell himself that it was okay that he said no to taking over the Aether Foundation… it must have been fifteen years ago now. It was hard to tell himself that he was a child , and after everything he’d been through, he couldn’t go back. He tried, and he tried, and he tried with all his might to tell himself that he wasn’t weak - he wasn’t running away again. He tried to tell himself he was just running down a different path. A path of his own. He loved his odd jobs, he loved fighting in the Battle Royal, hell, he loved his rickety one-bed house in some far-off corner of a tiny town. Fifteen years had not been enough to heal all of his hurt, but it had healed a lot. Whilst clouds of unease sometimes hung over his head, he really did love where his life was going. And as much as he hated to admit it out loud, he had only loved it more since that life became something he shared.
He wondered, sometimes, if he deserved it.
The cigarette burned the backs of Gladion’s fingers, a sharp drag out of his reverie. With a whispered curse, he stubbed out the remains in his ashtray with slight annoyance. The little pot needed to be cleaned out again. As he watched the embers fade into the dark of the night, he heard the scrape of the sliding door opening behind him, felt the comforting weight of strong arms around his waist and a head coming to rest on his shoulder. The touch would at one point have made him uneasy, though those threads of discomfort had, through familiarity, been woven into a security blanket. A pleasant hum rumbled against his neck as a familiar face nuzzled in. If asked, Gladion would say that he did not lean into the touch a tiny bit. Not at all. The smell of cigarette smoke mixed in just a little with that of pastries and grass stains and hard work under the sun, and he could feel soft lips curl into a smile against his skin.
“Someone’s been smoking.” The hum against his neck turned to sing-song chastisement.
“Observant as always, Hau.” Gladion rolled his eyes in half a joke before settling into a slight hint of a smile. “Welcome home.”
Two words he had said or heard every day now, but on nights like this it would hit him just how alien they once sounded.
“Sorry I’m so late.” Hau sighed, reluctantly pulling himself away. “Had to help grandpa get home. Was as dizzy as a spinda!” He stepped round to lean on the railings next to him. His eyes sparkled as they finally caught sight of Gladion’s face, visibly drinking each and every detail. Gladion looked right back up at him, feeling yet more accursed heat swell in his cheeks. They allowed themselves a minute to stare, the glow of the moon catching on Hau’s eyelashes, his cheeks, weaving through his hair like he was something magical. Sometimes Gladion swore he might be. He wondered what Hau saw, sometimes, when looking at him like this. The question stabbed something rotten in his stomach. The thought of asking for an answer twisted the knife.
Finally, Hau broke the silence.
“I sure hope I’m able to get that wild when I’m ninety.”
“I fear you’ll be wilder.” Gladion huffed, and he meant it.
“Guess we’ll just have to find out!” Hau laughed. “Either way, I’m sure my kind, sweet boyfriend will always be there to take me home, even when he’s ninety-two.”
Gladion nudged him for that.
“That’s what I’m afraid of.” He sighed, eliciting yet another belly laugh from his lover.
“I’m deadly serious.” Gladion teased, “I’m not pulling you out of any punch bowls when you’re ninety.”
“C’mon, man!” Hau placed his head in his hands at that. “It happened one time–”
“It happened at my sister’s wedding.” Gladion replied, one eyebrow raised. “And don’t you start thinking a single one of us will ever let you forget it.”
“Trust me,” Hau sighed, dropping his hands over the edge of the railing in defeat. “I am painfully aware of that.”
Gladion chuckled. He knew full well that Selene delighted in sending Hau the video of that moment of shame whenever she got bored.
“Glad one of us finds it funny.” Hau pouted, a poor attempt at masking the giggles sneaking out of his lips.
That was the thing about him, Gladion thought. Hau was like the sun, he was blindingly bright and blisteringly warm. He wore his feelings plainly, easy for anyone to see. Gladion had, at first, kept as much distance as he could. It was bewildering. It was nothing that he would have wanted anything to do with. He had, when very young, read the story of a boy who tried to touch the sun, only to fall to his death. Back then, Gladion laughed at that boy. He would never do something so stupid. He knew that if he tried, he would fall. He carried that with him. That was the only possible outcome. Yet, somewhere along the line, he’d been sucked into Hau’s orbit, doomed to become a part of his solar system. Who knows how long ago now, he took the leap he had once sneered at with withering waxen wings. He, of all people, had not only been able to touch the sun, but had been welcomed in to feel that warmth at full force.
It was then that he truly understood the boy in that story. He would risk such a fall over and over just for a taste of what he now had.
Gladion felt a hand take his own, as always startling in just how soft it was. His attention snapped back up to Hau. He was wearing that smile, that gentle smile that made his heart ache. His lips shut, eyes crinkled at the corners and positively shining. That smile he wore when he looked at Gladion like he was something precious. Like he was everything. Even after all these years, that smile, that look, reached into Gladion’s very soul, squeezed so tight he thought he would suffocate in the most intoxicating way. Even after all these years, it was hard to stop the heat, the confusion to spread across his face - to stop his lips from curling into a scowl. It wasn’t that he disliked the attention, it had taken a lot of time and work, but he had figured that out. He just had no idea how he ended up here.
“You had that look on your face again.” Hau sighed, “A minute ago.” He reached up with his free hand to brush a lock of hair from Gladion’s face, featherlight even through his natural clumsiness. “ C’mon, what’s on your mind?”
“It’s–” Gladion started.
“It isn’t nothing.” Hau cut him off, already knowing what he was going to say. “You’re thinking reaaaal hard about something.”
“Hm.” It was all Gladion could say, the right words running around his throat, just out of reach. Hau gave his hand a small squeeze. A silent acknowledgement that he’d gotten his answer.
“It’s been a long day, huh?” Hau sighed. He let go of Gladion’s hand, took one last look out at the cloudy night sky, took in a deep breath, and turned back to face his boyfriend with a grin.
“Come on, I reek of festival, and you-” He playfully jabbed his finger into Gladion’s chest, “-reek of smoke. Let’s take a bath, yeah?”
“Okay,” Gladion swatted Hau’s hand away with a huff of a laugh.”You can go first–”
“Hey now,” Hau planted his hands on his hips, “Who said anything about going separately?”
While Gladion had, with time, come to understand Hau’s ease with emotions, people, and life in general, one thing he would never understand was his ability to so quickly and easily jump into scalding hot water. With practiced ease Hau slipped his hair out of the messy ponytail that held it and let it fan out on the water’s surface as he sank in with a satisfied sigh. Gladion shook his head fondly and slipped out of the oversized black shirt he had donned for the evening. He tentatively hung the garment on a hook on the door, over the crumpled pile on the floor that Hau’s clothes made. As the steam from the bath clung to his skin, he didn’t even need to turn back to feel his partner’s gaze roaming over his body. It was nothing new, nothing new at all, but being seen like this, with nothing to hide behind still sometimes invited nagging tendrils of doubt onto his train of thought.
“Eyes are up here.” He said, rolling said eyes and turning on his heel.
“And I’ll look at ‘em when it’s their turn!” Hau’s voice was chipper and bright, his body relaxed, one arm dangling out of the tub. “Come on, get in already,” he pouted, “I’m getting so cold…”
With a wisp of a laugh, Gladion obliged. With an ease only gained in extensive practice, he slotted himself between Hau’s legs. The water was still far too hot for his liking but, perhaps against his better judgment, he decided that an itch down his back was preferable to flailing around like a scalded magikarp.
“Much better~!” Hau said as he snaked his arms to wrap around Gladion’s waist, pulling him in as close as he could, his back, all bone and sinew, flush with the soft strength of Hau’s chest. “Lean back! Let me take care of things tonight, yeah?”
He hummed happily as Gladion adjusted slightly. The gentle rise and fall of his chest, the heat of the water, the softness of touch, all of it coalesced into the warmth of daybreak in late spring.
“Okay,” Hau moved his arms away as slow as he could bear, as if not to disturb one of his own sleeping pokemon. “Lemme get your hair before you fall asleep on me!”
With a sigh, Gladion shifted again and shuffled forward slightly, already missing the close contact - just a little bit. He leaned back into the water, pushing his fringe back over his head and out of his eyes. He may have grown older and toned it down a little on the ripped clothes, and he may have grown out the back of his hair down past his shoulders, leaving only an undercut below, but he would never grow out of his fringe. No matter how much Selene made fun of him for it.
He looked up at Hau, who was staring right back down at him, pouting like a kicked rockruff. Gladion rolled his eyes and sat back up. He turned to the side to grab a bottle of shampoo only to find it out of reach, in a cheekily grinning Hau’s raised hand.
“I can wash my own hair, Hau.” Gladion scowled and tried to make a reach for the bottle, but alas, Mount Hau was just a little too tall. It was times like this that Gladion really missed when he was his short, annoying rival.
“I know!” Hau chirped, holding the bottle a little higher. “But I’m doing it tonight!”
Gladion stared and blinked a few times.
“Why?” It was a silly question. It was far from the first time one of them had done something like this for the other, but tonight there was that annoying little thread that yanked the word from his lips.
“Doesn’t have to be a reason, does there?” Hau decided it was safe to lower his arm, though kept his grip on the bottle tight. He, of everyone, knew not to underestimate Gladion in anything. “Maybe I’ve just got the most handsome man in all of Alola in my lap and I wanna do something nice for him.”
Gladion groaned and hid his face in his hands. His train of thought had already run him ragged and sometimes, just sometimes, the way Hau so effortlessly said things like that just got to him. The way that he said so genuinely hit him right in the recesses of a long-buried past. And it frustrated him that sometimes, despite being twenty-eight years old, he couldn’t shake the feeling of being ten, of being in Aether Paradise, of being treated as invisible and told over and over that he would never be good enough.
A soft kiss pressed to the hunched nape of Gladion’s neck. Then another. Then another. Gently, so gently, until he was twenty-eight again. Until he was out of Aether Paradise and in his own home in Iki town. Until he was seen. Until he was more than enough.
“Don’t think so much.” Gladion could feel Hau smiling at him even from behind, “Just focus on how you feel.”
“I feel,” Gladion hoped that the grimace on his face, though unseen, was translated in his tone of voice, “kinda stupid right now.”
“That’s still thinking!” Warm hands slipped into Gladion’s hair, surprisingly deft fingers working shampoo into his scalp. Those threads of discomfort from once upon a time teased at him again, but they were quickly put to sleep by the calming repetitive ministrations and the sweet smell of coconut.
“How does that feel ?” Hau reiterated, the timbre of his voice a deep contrast from the soft motions of his hands, but calming nonetheless.
“It’s…” Gladion stumbled, scrambling to find the right thing to say. “Nice. I guess.”
That was not what he was looking for.
“You guess?” The motions stopped, hands pulled away from his head, and Gladion held back a whine as he immediately felt their absence. “You can tell me if you’re not enjoying it, y’know?”
“No it’s–” Gladion started, and sighed. “You don’t have to do this…”
“I want to do this.” Hau replied, as effortlessly as a remark on the weather as he ran soapy fingers over Gladion’s shoulders, “I’ll tell you over and over and over again. I’m taking care of you because I want to. ”
He’d never been good with words, but Gladion was left speechless. Even after so many years of knowing each other, Hau had this mysterious ability sometimes to steal every syllable he could say right out of his throat.
A long beat passed in silence, and then another.
“Do you want me to stop?” Hau asked, his fingers stilled. Gladion thought for only a second before shaking his head.
“No. That’s alright.” He took a deep breath. He had been welcomed in to touch the sun. He was more than good enough. “I like it.”
It was, at least, better than “It’s nice… I guess.”
Clean and dried and dressed, the two of them made the short walk to their shared bedroom. Exhausted in both body and emotion, Gladion all but collapsed face-first onto the bed, soothed by the thud that accompanied Hau falling on his back right next to him.
“Thank you.” Gladion muttered, “For doing all that. For being so patient with me.” His words carried meanings from far beyond that evening.
“You’re worth being patient for.” Hau spoke softly, picking up those meanings and cradling them with his words like they were precious, all with such a gentle ease.
“You might have to be patient for a while yet.” Gladion sighed, turning his head to look over at his partner before deciding it would be better to swallow his self-pity for now. He looked at Hau with a cocky smirk. “I know that’s hard for you.”
“Hey!” Hau raised his hand to his chest in mock affront. “I am very patient!”
“Mmhmm.” Gladion propped himself up on one elbow and looked down at Hau with one eyebrow raised.
“Don’t ‘mmhmm’ me!” Hau furrowed his brow and stuck out his tongue, the playful motion wringing a huff from Gladion.
“Hey remember that time when you–”
“Look, a clever distraction!” Hau shot up and pointed at the opposite corner of the room.
“Wh–” Gladion started, before he was grabbed by the front of his shirt and pulled into the crash of a kiss. Hau’s lips were slightly chapped. Gladion had the faint taste of smoke lingering on his tongue. And yet there they were, bathed in the glow of the moon, in the shine of the sun, sharing this kiss, their bed, their home, their very selves.
Finally, and much too soon, they pulled apart as much as they could bear. Each breath they took was shared, that air between them electric. Gladion laughed, a short breathy thing. How many years had it been? How many times had they kissed like this? And still, there he was, with a flushed face and butterflies in his stomach like it was the very first time. He reached up, gentle fingers tracing Hau’s jaw, inviting themselves to settle in still-drying hair. The moon’s glow through the curtain bathed him in silver, holding him as Gladion’s hand did. There Hau was, similarly afflicted, smiling at Gladion like he was the whole world. Like sunshine illuminating the darkest parts of his very core, and cherishing them anyway.
“You’re…” Gladion sputtered, worrying his lip with his teeth as he stared. “I think you’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.” He had fought a lot of difficult battles. Battles where he scraped tooth and nail for any hope of victory. The battle he was in right now, a battle with himself to keep looking right at his partner, managed so easily to slot itself into those ranks. It wasn’t that he was ashamed of what he was saying, he meant every word. It was hard though, even after all this time, to scrape every single piece of armour from himself, to speak his soul so plain and clear. Sometimes it was so, so hard not to be afraid that he would ruin everything, everything . It was hard not to be afraid of being alone again.
It wasn’t that he still thought it could happen, it was just that lingering, paralysing fear that it could.
But , those specks of sunshine deep in his chest would persist, he wasn’t that little boy running away anymore. He loved, and he was loved.
He was loved for everything he was.
And this time it was Hau who was lost for words, staring at him with a blank, fond, adorable expression. Gladion was so caught up in watching his face that he didn’t see the flurry of limbs as Hau lunged for him, grabbing him tight and pulling him close, holding him like he was a lifeline.
“This is really nice,” Gladon said, muffled by the shirt he was pulled into, “But you’re really really warm.”
“I don’t care if you overheat.” Hau pouted, only holding tighter. “I’m never letting you go.”
Gladion huffed out a complaint that was dying in his throat even before he could begin to voice it. His eyes fluttering shut, he gave a squeeze of his own.
“Wouldn’t have it any other way.”
Through the window, the sky had cleared, and the moon shone down upon the world with full force.