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“Are you going out wearing this?”

Izuku looked down at his favourite shirt. It was a little baggy, white, and plain, but the little drawing of his favourite comic character popping out of his chest pocket made him love it so much. He wore it with his nicest pair of wide straight-legged jeans and white sneakers. He had spent so much time picking out his outfit and had felt so confident, looking at his reflection in the mirror. But now, standing at the entrance of his apartment, with his boyfriend looming over him with a disappointed look on his face, Izuku wasn’t so sure.

“Yes, Ochako helped me pick it out. Don’t you like it?”

“I just don’t understand why you feel the need to  wear ridiculous clothes every time we go out.”

Izuku flinched a little, trying hard not to cry over something so stupid, “I’m sorry, I’ll go get changed.”

As he turned away, Izuku felt a hand grab his wrist, “You know I love you, right? I just don’t want people to make fun of you. I know how much you hate being the centre of attention and I would hate for you to feel uncomfortable.”  

Izuku forced himself to relax at the tender smile on his boyfriend’s face, “I know. I love you too.”

When they walked out the door, Izuku wore the plain white shirt Haruki gifted him on his birthday. 

The walk to the party was silent, but Izuku didn’t mind, that’s always how things were between them. Haruki never spoke much, unless he was with his friends. Izuku was used to doing most of the talking in their relationship. He had learned to be quieter a few months into dating when Haruki told him he didn’t like how he would sometimes go on and on about boring subjects. Izuku had been hurt at first, but it wasn’t the first time someone complained about him talking too much so he figured he needed to make an effort. And Haruki had not complained ever since, so Izuku knew he had done a good job. 

Focusing on staying quiet almost made Izuku forget the anxiety growing in his stomach. Izuku never enjoyed going to parties, or maybe that wasn’t true, but the truth was that Izuku never enjoyed going to parties with Haruki. Izuku loved his boyfriend, he did, but Haruki could be a little rough with his words. Not that he did it on purpose, but when Haruki was surrounded by friends, he sometimes got carried away. He would tease Izuku a little more than usual, or make comments that hurt a bit too much. And even if Izuku was usually fine with it, it was different when these comments were made in public. He had tried to talk to Haruki about it, only to be dismissed,

“You know I like to tease people I love. You should be happy I feel comfortable enough to act like that with you. Stop taking everything personally, it ruins the mood.”

Izuku had swallowed his hurt and smiled,” You’re right, I shouldn’t be so sensitive.”

“See I knew you could use that silly brain of yours!”

Since then, Izuku had yet to bring up the subject again. He had learned that arguing with Haruki was a lost cause. He just had to suck it up and act normal, it was his fault he couldn’t take a little joke.

But above all, what made Izuku dislike these parties was the fact that he didn’t know anyone. All of the people there were Haruki’s friends. Izuku had tried to get closer to a few of them, but it felt impossible with Haruki watching him and making jokes every time Izuku spoke. So after a few weeks, Izuku gave up and stood by Haruki’s side, quiet, like he was told to do.

People swarmed Haruki as soon as they entered the party, and Izuku received a few taps on the back as they were led towards the living room. Izuku went to sit next to his boyfriend but quickly realised that the couch Haruki sat on was already full. Izuku gave an awkward smile and walked towards the chairs at the corner of the room. He could still hear the conversation from where he sat but knew he was too far for people to remember he was even here. Being around Haruki always felt like this, like no matter how close Izuku stood, Haruki always felt a world away. No matter how loud he spoke, Izuku could never be heard, and it made sense considering how many people gravitated towards Haruki. Even if they were dating, Izuku would never be more than another admirer, another person trying to catch Haruki’s attention. He should be grateful Haruki ever looked his way when so many people would kill to be in his shoes.  

Izuku watched as everyone had fun, he laughed at all the jokes, trying to fit in. He kept stealing glances towards Haruki to see if the other man would notice, but he never looked his way. He felt awkward, sitting here, alone, with nothing to do. He tried his best to look like he was having fun, remembering a conversation he had with his boyfriend not too long ago,

“I hate when you act like this.”

“Like what?” Izuku had answered, confusion lacing his voice

“Like you have no friends, like you hate being there.”

“I don’t know anyone, they’re your friends, not mine.”

“Well, at least pretend you’re having fun, what will people think of me if my boyfriend looks all depressed in the corner? I want to have fun without worrying about you for once. Can you do that for me?” he said in his sweetest voice.
Here it was again; this way, Haruki had to make everything about himself, “Of course, I’ll try.”

Izuku would always remember the sweet smile Haruki had given him, “Thank you, baby.”

He was about to grab a drink when he felt someone sit on the chair beside him. Izuku turned his face to the side and had to suppress a gasp. This man was beautiful, with short blond hair and piercing red eyes. He seemed angry, or maybe it was just what his resting face looked like, Izuku wasn’t sure. A sense of guilt slowly made its way into Izuku’s stomach. Was he allowed to look at another man like that? To find other people attractive? He couldn’t control that sort of thing, he reasoned. And it’s not like he intended to flirt with this stranger. Izuku was relieved to see that the thought alone made him sick. Haruki could get jealous easily, so Izuku always tried to act neutral around other people, he didn’t want to give them the wrong idea. Everyone should know he was unavailable, he couldn’t let anyone think otherwise. 

“You need something?” the gruff voice startled Izuku, effectively taking him out of his thoughts.

“Huh? Me?”
“You were staring.” The stranger said, looking into Izuku’s eyes.

“No! I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to! I was just…” Izuku felt a blush creep onto his cheeks as he tried to find an acceptable answer.

The stranger smirked, like he knew something Izuku didn’t, “It’s okay, don’t give yourself an aneurysm.”

Izuku nodded, not trusting his voice. The man looked away, busying himself with his drink, making clear he wasn’t one for small talk. 

They sat next to each other in silence, in a way Izuku was glad this guy decided to sit next to him, he didn’t have to talk to anyone and yet if Haruki looked his way, it didn’t seem like he was alone in a corner. 

The more time passed, the louder the party grew,

“Haruki is next”

Izuku perked up.

“Who is the most beautiful person in the room?”

Everyone wolf-whistled, waiting expectantly for Haruki to answer. Izuku was growing more anxious as each second passed. He wanted Haruki to say his name, of course he did, and deep down, he knew he shouldn’t be scared that Haruki would answer someone else’s name. Finding your partner beautiful should be a given, so why was Izuku feeling so uneasy? 

Finally, Haruki spoke up, “That’s an easy question, it’s obviously Camie.” 

More screams erupted from the group as everyone turned to Camie who was sitting on the sofa, right next to Haruki. Camie was beautiful, with long blond hair and a perfect body. Izuku knew she was more attractive than he’d ever be, but it didn’t mean it didn’t hurt to hear his boyfriend admit the fact in front of so many people.

“Is it okay to say this in front of your boyfriend?” Someone asked, sounding a little uncomfortable.

Haruki winked at Izuku, as if all of this was just a joke as if he didn’t just poke a hole at Izuku’s self-esteem.

 “He knows I’m not dating him for his looks.” 

Some people laughed, and others looked at Izuku with a pitying look. Izuku hated it. He hated when people looked at him like that, like he was fragile and that he couldn’t handle a silly joke, that he couldn’t handle Haruki. So he laughed.He knew how strained it sounded, but he was sure no one would care enough to notice. Once everyone seemed to have moved on, Izuku felt someone watching him. He turned his head to the side and met the gaze of the man who hadn’t moved from beside him. At first, Izuku thought he was giving him the same sad look he’d been receiving since he started dating Haruki, however, what he saw instead was confusion. The man’s brows were furrowed and his lips strained in a thin line. Izuku felt his heart beat out of his chest, he wasn’t used to being seen like that. He looked down at his lap, playing with the hem of his shirt.

“You must think I’m stupid, letting him talk about me like that.”

Izuku had never said these words out loud to anyone. He never told people how miserable Haruki made him feel. He only ever talked about the good things, even if there wasn’t much to talk about lately. He always hid these ugly feelings, he didn’t want people to hate Haruki, and he didn’t want anyone to doubt that he loved his boyfriend.

The man hummed, 

“I don’t think you’re stupid.” Izuku whipped his head back up, “I don’t understand, but I don’t think you’re stupid.”

Izuku didn’t know what to say, so he could only stare as the man stood up. “Take care,” the stranger said before walking away. 

*

A few days had passed since the party and Izuku could not stop thinking about what had happened. He was used to Haruki making comments about him in public, but  Izuku had never known his boyfriend to be so direct. Usually, Haruki’s insults were implied, and insidious in a way that only Izuku could understand. Thinking about it made Izuku sad, and he tried to talk to Haruki about it. Still, like everything else, Haruki brushed it off by saying Izuku was too sensitive, and that he should toughen up if he wanted to go through life unscratched. It put Izuku in this weird limbo between knowing he had every right to be upset and questioning if he was the one in the wrong. Whenever Izuku found the courage to stand up for himself, Haruki pushed him back down and ensured he stayed there for as long as possible. Enduring Haruki’s manipulative tactics while still being aware of them, was like finding glimpses of clarity in an endless fog of doubts. Izuku was stuck, he knew it. He knew he should get out and yet it felt like he would never be able to move, and sometimes like he didn’t even want to. 

Izuku had zoned out and hadn’t realised he was already late for class. He started getting ready as fast as he could, rushing to get dressed, throwing on the first shirt he could grab, praying it was clean, and left without eating. Haruki had already left for class a while ago. Izuku hated to admit it but he loved the mornings he spent without Haruki's shadow hovering over him. He still sent Ochako a quick text, warning her he would be late to their English class. He ran the whole way there and made it in time, right before the professor arrived. No one wanted to be late to Mr Aizawa's lessons. Izuku got the chills just thinking about that poor girl who was kicked out of class after she arrived five minutes late two days in a row. Izuku hadn't seen her since then, he feared she might have dropped out entirely after that. He slumped on a chair right next to his best friend, his breathing still hard from all the running,

"You made it!" Ochako cheered

"Almost thought I wouldn't." Izuku could feel sweat dripping down his neck, he should start waking up earlier, the adrenaline that came with being late would be the death of him. 

They quickly quieted down when the teacher made his way behind his desk. Aizawa was a scary man, but everyone knew he was one of the best teachers on campus. Izuku looked around the room, his eyes going wide as they stopped on a head full of blond hair. It couldn't be, right? If they had been sharing a class since the beginning of the semester, surely Izuku would have noticed, right? The man turned around and Izuku knew he couldn't mistake these piercing red eyes. He must have been staring for a little too long because the guy gave him a knowing smirk. Izuku hid his face in his arms as he felt a blush creep up his neck. Ochako gave him an odd look and tried to see what Izuku was looking at. Fortunately, the guy had already gone back to focusing on what the teacher was saying. 

Izuku sighed and glared at Ochako, prompting her to get back to work. He didn't want to be told off by Aizawa, and he surely didn't need Ochako to start asking questions about the mysterious guy from the party. Soon the class came to an end and as everyone was gathering their stuff Ochako gave Izuku a smile that screamed trouble,

"So, what was that earlier?"

Izuku groaned, "Nothing."

"Come on! I haven't seen you blush like this since that day you met All Might's actor."

"Will you stop bringing that up? I was fourteen!"

"Yes, and you were extremely cute. You wouldn't stop giggling the entire ride home."

"Ochakoooo."

Ochako let out her bubbly laugh, "Sorry." she said, not sounding sorry at all, "But seriously, why did you look like a schoolgirl with a crush?"

Izuku's breath hitched, was it what he looked like? Someone who had a crush? It couldn't be, Izuku was in love with Haruki, he couldn't have a crush on some random guy!

Ochako must have sensed his growing panic because she gently put her hand on his shoulder,

"Hey, I was joking. I know you already have a boyfriend."

And here it was, that pitying look Izuku hated so much. Izuku knew Ochako didn't like Haruki, it's not like she was hiding the fact.

Izuku and Haruki had started dating during the summer between the end of high school and the beginning of university. It had been two years since then. And if Ochako had been excited for him at first, she quickly started to be weary of his boyfriend. She would sometimes bring up things that Haruki did, things she didn't agree with. She said Izuku deserved someone better. But the truth was that Ochako didn't know the first thing about his relationship with Haruki. Yes, he could be mean sometimes, but he loved Izuku, and Izuku loved him, he had to. Haruki had been there for him through some of the hardest times of Izuku's life. He couldn't just forget all the good because of some small arguments. 

Izuku turned his head back to Ochako faking his best smile:

"It's okay, I know you didn't mean it."

"If you're sure," Ochako replied, not sounding convinced at all. However, she still dropped the subject. She must have sensed how uncomfortable Izuku was growing.

"Are we still on for studying tonight?" Izuku smiled, glad for the subject change.

"Sure! We can hang out at my place. Haruki won't come back until late."

After they clarified their plans, Ochako left, leaving Izuku to his own thoughts.

He needed to get it together, he couldn't keep showing this side of him, especially not in front of Ochako. She was already growing more and more suspicious of Haruki. He didn't need her to get any wild ideas about how Izuku was treated. He stood up from his chair and walked fast to the door, his eyes fixed on the ground. He was about to take a turn into the corridor and his face collided with something. Izuku let out a huff, all the air in his lungs getting knocked out from the collision.

"Are you okay?" A familiar voice asked

Izuku looked up and saw none other than the reason for all his anxiety from the past few days.

"Oh, hi! Yes I'm fine, sorry I wasn't looking."

"Yeah, I could tell. You need to be more careful."

Izuku huffed in annoyance, "And you shouldn't stand randomly in the middle of corridors.” Izuku quickly covered his mouth with his hand. Where did that sassiness come from? 

Izuku never talked back, that's not who he was. His mind went back to the early days of his relationship with Haruki,

"What did you say?"

"I said, you can't tell me what I can and can't do!"

"You want to act like this? Go ahead then! Go hang out with that friend of yours who clearly has a crush on you and see if I care!"

"For the hundredth time, Shouto doesn't have a crush on me! He's my best friend! Plus he's dating Sero, and they're happy together!"

"You're dumb if you think having a boyfriend will stop a guy from having a crush. Have you ever heard of cheating? Or are you so caught up in your fairytale world that you didn't even think of that as a possibility?"

"Don't talk down on me! I will go see my best friend and you can't stop me."

Izuku had made his way to the door of their shared apartment when Haruki caught his arm,

"Come on, Izuku. Please don't leave. You know I love you, right? That's why I got upset. I know you would never cheat on me, but I don't know that friend of yours very well. And I swear he looks at you the same way I do."

"I'm telling you he isn't. You shouldn't be worried about that."

"Okay, I believe you, but stay here tonight to prove it, okay?"

Izuku bit his lip, if this would make Haruki feel better, then maybe he should, "Okay, I'll text him."

"Thank you, love." Izuku went to grab his phone when the grip on his wrist tightened, "Oh and never talk back to me like that. It makes me feel bad, okay?"

Izuku gulped, "Okay, I'm sorry."

Izuku was brought back to reality by a rich laugh,

"So you can fight back, huh? I like it."

Izuku's face grew hot at the compliment. He used to be more fierce, but years with Haruki had made him quieter. It was nice to know some people enjoyed that side of him.

"Did I break you? Earth to nerd?"

"I'm sorry!" Izuku squeaked, "My name is Izuku Midoriya!" Izuku reached out his hand, finding a way to change the subject and hide his awkwardness. This made the stranger laugh again,

"Katsuki Bakugou."

Oh, so that was his name, Izuku repeated it in his head,

"That's me."

Izuku grew hot when he realised he had said it out loud. What was it with this man that made Izuku forget how to function? Was it because he wasn't used to talking to other people anymore? Izuku didn't have any friends apart from Ochako. He had stopped talking to Shouto after a heavy fight with Haruki. That memory still hurt, but he did the right thing for his relationship.

"Sorry I didn't mean to say this out loud, that's so embarrassing."

"You apologise a lot, don't you?"

Izuku played with the hem of his shirt, not sure how he should respond to that,

"Maybe you should try and stop doubting everything you say. I'm not mad, I don't think you're weird, yes you've said that out loud too, and I actually have a question to ask you."

"You do?" Izuku asked.

Katsuki rolled his eyes, seemingly annoyed by the obvious question, "I was wondering if you’re any good in our English class? I have trouble following, it's not my strong suit."

And suddenly Izuku realised that he wasn't the only nervous one. Katsuki was standing in front of him, hands in his pocket, and his gaze never quite meeting Izuku's own,

"Uhm, I guess I'm doing okay?"

"I'm assuming this means you're good. Would you mind helping me? Maybe we could study together? I don't know anyone in this class and I remember you from that party. You could bring your friend along. That girl with the pink cheeks."

Izuku laughed at that, "Her name is Ochako."

"Whatever, so what do you say?"

"Sure, we can study! Give me your phone so we can work out a day and time."

They exchanged numbers and parted ways with the promise of texting the other a studying schedule. Izuku couldn't contain his smile. It had been a while since he made a new friend. 

Ochako spent the evening with him as promised after she left, Izuku remembered he forgot to text Katsuki,

Hi it's Izuku!

Hey

Are you free on Saturdays?

Yes, I can be

Cool! Would you want to meet up at the library

 at around 10?

Sure, I'll see you then.

Izuku smiled at his phone, giddy about the prospect of spending some time with his new friend. He had chosen that day because Haruki always goes to the gym on Saturday mornings, and he never comes back before noon. Which leaves Izuku with a two-hour window to study with Katsuki. He felt bad not telling Haruki about this, but he knew how his boyfriend felt about him having male friends. He couldn't risk Haruki forbidding him to hang out with Katsuki. 

Izuku got to the library at 9.45, having left his apartment way too early in his excitement to meet Katsuki. He assumed he would have to wait for his friend to arrive, but to his surprise, Katsuki was already there, sitting on a bench right in front of the library entrance. He was wearing an oversized black hoodie, black jeans and a pair of combat boots. His ears were covered by big black headphones and he was looking down at his phone. Izuku couldn't help but think Katsuki looked really cool like that. He must be really popular with girls, Izuku's brain provided. 

Izuku made his way to stand in front of Katsuki, waving his hand in front of his friend's phone screen. Katsuki looked up, a glare adorning his face which morphed into a soft smile when he saw who had disturbed him. He gently took off his earphones and got to his feet,

"How long have you been waiting?" Izuku asked,

"Not long, I had an errand to run and thought it would take me longer."

Izuku nodded in understanding and guided them through the door and into the room he had booked for them. They sat down at the table, facing each other. Izuku had brought his English textbook along with all the notes he took throughout the semester. Katsuki complimented his writing, saying he'd never seen cleaner notes before. Izuku smiled, enjoying the way Katsuki seemed to be so comfortable with speaking his mind, whether what he had to say was positive or not. They stayed there for the whole two hours Izuku had booked and said their goodbyes with the promise to meet again the next week. Soon they fell into a habit of greeting each other in class and meeting at the library on Sundays. Izuku was glad he could see someone outside of Ochako, someone who wouldn't bring up Haruki every chance they got, someone who didn't know him as well as his best friend did, someone who wouldn't judge him and his choices. 

Izuku would never describe Katsuki as being shy, however, he noticed that his new friend was private when it came to his life, so even though they had been hanging out for two months now, Izuku still didn't know much about the other. He realised Katsuki didn't know anything significant about him either. They would talk about their classes, and sometimes Katsuki would bring up his best friend, someone he dubbed as "Shitty hair",

"His hair looks awful. It defies the laws of gravity. That shit makes me uncomfortable."

Katsuki had said, earning him a laugh from Izuku. Izuku didn't know who Katsuki's best friend was, but he could tell they were close and that Katsuki cared about him. Izuku came to notice that Katsuki cared about a lot of things. He kept on insulting his friends, but Izuku remembered the day he arrived late to their study sessions because he got caught up helping a friend who just gone through a bad break-up. He told Izuku that he didn't want to "hear her whine about it", but the look of concern on his face told Izuku a different story. Or the time when Izuku had brought up the name of his favourite drink, and Katsuki came the next week with a can of said drink stating that the only reason he got it was because he already needed to buy coffee for himself. Izuku didn't point out the obvious lie, as Katsuki seemed to be uncomfortable with the idea that people might notice how much he cares. Izuku didn't understand why, but he didn't want to push Katsuki to say things he didn't want. Everyone could tell Katsuki was a nice person, Izuku didn't need him to say anything to see it. 

Today was the Saturday right before finals, so they decided to meet an hour early to make the best of their time. After three hours of intense studying, Izuku could feel himself growing hungry. He was about to excuse himself and go back home when his stomach let out a loud growl. Izuku blushed, frantically looking around, scared someone might have heard him,

"Don't worry, I'm pretty hungry too." Katsuki reassured him, "You want to get something to eat before you go home?"

Izuku was ready to say yes but remembered that Haruki would probably get home soon. He didn't want to get there after him and have to explain why he was outside.   

Then he remembered that the day before, Haruki had mentioned trying out a new gym further away than the one he was currently visiting. With the extra travel time, Izuku would have time to grab a quick bite with Katsuki. It should be fine, Izuku thought.

"It's okay if you're busy, we can do it another time."

Katsuki's voice took Izuku out of his running thoughts, "No, it's fine! I can go." He gave the other his brightest smile. 

Katsuki smiled back and soon they were on their way to a coffee shop right outside campus. Izuku had been there a few times before. The first time had been with Shoutou and the memory pinched at Izuku's heart. He must have made a weird face because soon Katsuki's hand was on his shoulder,

"You don't like it? We can find something else."

Katsuki's observing skills would be the death of him. Izuku quickly swallowed the nostalgia that had crawled up his throat and smiled, "No, I like it here."

Katsuki didn't look convinced but he didn't say anything. They found a table to sit and ordered their food. They ate in comfortable silence, both too tired to make conversation. After they were done, Katsuki insisted on paying, saying it was a thank you gift for all the tutoring sessions Izuku had given him, even though their English study session had quickly morphed into every subject-study-sessions. Izuku accepted the offer, not wanting to argue with Katsuki, who Izuku had learned was very stubborn. After saying their goodbyes, Izuku quickly made his way home, praying to be the first one there. However as he opened the door, he saw Haruki's shoes neatly put in their entrance. Izuku gulped and remembered he had nothing to be scared of. He was out studying with a friend, and decided to eat after. There was no reason for him to be this anxious. Maybe Haruki wouldn't even ask why he was out in the first place.

"I'm home!" Izuku called in his most cheerful voice.

"Welcome back!" Haruki said, popping his head from behind the wall. I didn't know you were going out this morning. You didn't warn me about it." Haruki's tight smile showed that he was upset about this.

Izuku took a deep breath, he shouldn't feel guilty, he didn't do anything wrong. He should just tell the truth, Haruki would know if he was lying,

"I was out, studying with a friend." He said, keeping a big smile on his face.

"A friend? Was it Ochako?" Haruki asked, brows furrowed.

Izuku thought about lying, it would be so easy to say yes. But then he would have to warn Ochako about it, because Haruki would definitely ask her if he was telling the truth. Izuku knew that Ochako would lie for him, but then she would be the one asking questions. Asking who he was with and why he lied, which definitely was not ideal. So all he could do was tell the truth.

"Actually it wasn't. Ii was with a classmate from Aizawa's class."

"A new friend then." It wasn't a question, but a statement. Haruki had his arms crossed over his chest, "How long was this planned for?"

Izuku squirmed under Haruki's intense gaze, "A few days." 

"Then why am I only learning about it now?"

Izuku could hear anger rise in Haruki's tone. It had been a while since they fought. Izuku had been so good at keeping quiet and following the rules that he forgot how bad it could get. But he was getting ahead of himself, maybe Haruki would calm down after he explained everything.

"It must have slipped my mind. And because you weren't there when I left I didn't think about telling you."

"Oh, so you wait until I'm gone to hang out with people I don't know? Is that it?"

Izuku didn't like where this conversation was heading. He was scared to make it worse, "What? No! Of course not! I swear it just slipped my mind! I knew I would talk to you about it when I came back!"

"Who's the new friend?" Haruki had walked closer and was now hovering over Izuku, using his height to crowd him against the front door.

"I told you, it's a friend from class." Izuku said, his voice trembling.

"Give me a name, Izuku." Haruki was now gripping Izuku’s wrist, making it impossible for him to move.

"It's no one you would know."

Haruki scoffed, "That's why I need a name. I need to know what type of person would make you think keeping things from me was okay."

Izuku knew he had to answer, or else everything would get worse, “Bakugou Katsuki.” Izuku’s throat was so dry he almost didn’t recognise his voice. 

“Was that so hard?” Haruki said with a smirk, “and next time you hang out with anyone, you tell me first, okay?”
Izuku stiffened, tears welling in his eyes, which earned a sigh from Haruki: “Izuku, don’t cry. You know I hate it. You did something wrong, so I had to make it right. You understand?” 

Izuku turned his face to the side, nodding as he tried to swallow a sob,

 “I’m not mad anymore, I was just worried. I don’t like knowing you’re out and about with strangers. People can be dangerous, you know that? They act friendly but they always have ulterior motives. Remember that friend of yours? What was his name again, Shota? No, Shotou, right?” 

Izuku nodded again. Haruki hummed, let go of Izuku’s wrist and walked away as if nothing had happened. Izuku dried his tears and took a look at his forearm. The red shape of Haruki’s hand was visible on his pale skin, he quietly shed more tears when he noticed blood coming out of crescent-shaped wounds on his inner wrist, right where Haruki’s nails had dug into his skin.

*

It’s been almost two weeks since Izuku sent a “We can’t meet up anymore” text before starting to ignore Katsuki completely. He even went as far as to pretend to be sick to skip his English class.
It had been a while since Izuku had been scared of Haruki. He was usually good at keeping his boyfriend’s anger at bay, but maybe weeks of peace had made him too confident. He let himself grow close to someone new, he let that person into his life without thinking about the consequences. It was all his fault and he couldn’t keep going this way. He had to push Katsuki away from him and his life, or they would both end up suffering.

The first few days, Katsuki’s texts had been confused. Izuku was a fast texter and was known to be always on time, so Katsuki must have understood Izuku was serious when he didn’t show up to their planned study session. That day, Izuku had struggled not to answer, but he could feel the looming threat of Haruki any time he even thought about texting back. The thing was that Izuku knew all of this was his fault. He grew close to someone, got too comfortable, let his guard down like an idiot and put himself in a situation he tried so hard to avoid. He knew Haruki was jealous and possessive, he knew Haruki hated it when he lied, so why did he think it would be a good idea to do just that?
Speaking of his boyfriend, Izuku was growing more and more uneasy. See, since their fight, Haruki hadn’t brought Katsuki up at all, he just went about his day as if nothing happened. Which made Izuku grow suspicious because Haruki was known to hold grudges. Haruki never let anything go, he always took pleasure in reminding Izuku of all the little things he did wrong. It was his way of reminding Izuku that he owed him for being so nice, “remember when you met another guy behind my back? Remember how I still let you go out by yourself even though you broke my trust?” That was the type of thing Haruki should’ve been saying. Not this cold and menacing silence, so heavy Izuku knew how much it would hurt once it finally broke down. This is why Izuku couldn’t help but think that Haruki was up to something, and now that he knew Katsuki’s last name, Izuku felt he had every right to be worried.
Ever since Izuku’s days have been punctuated by the fear that Haruki might break and finally give him a real punishment for his actions. This is why Izuku tried hard to stay in line and follow the rules, it’s by following the rules that you stay safe. 

Izuku woke up on a Saturday morning to the sound of rummaging in the kitchen. He yawned and made his way out of bed opening the door to be met with the sight of Haruki looking around the fridge,

“Where’s the milk?”

Izuku scrubbed his eyes awake, “I think you might have drank the last bit yesterday.”

Haruki closed the door to glare at Izuku, “And you didn’t think of buying some more?”

Izuku took a deep breath and forced himself to not remind his boyfriend that he didn’t even drink milk in the first place, so why should he be the one thinking about buying more? “Sorry, I’ll buy some today,” he said instead.

“Don’t bother, I need to go out anyway. I guess we can’t count on anyone but ourselves, huh?” Izuku ignored that last part,

“Where are you going?” He smiled, trying to lighten the mood.

“It's None of your business. I’ll go in the afternoon and be back late, so don’t wait for me.”

Izuku gave him a tight smile, “Oh, okay.” 

And the conversation was over. Izuku knew he would spend another day surrounded by silence. Haruki never really talked to him unless he had to, and from what Izuku could tell, Haruki had nothing else to say. Izuku watched him lie across their couch taking out his phone and made his way to the love seat right in front of him. He didn’t say anything, nor did Haruki and Izuku found that he hadn’t felt this lonely until he started to live with his boyfriend. The constant presence of the person he fell in love with, the person who should love him right back, mixed with the coldness that spread whenever they were both in the same room made Izuku’s life a living hell. When Ochako first asked him why he didn’t break up with Haruki, Izuku didn’t know what to answer. In truth, he had thought about it, but every time the thought appeared in his head, he reminded himself of all the good things Haruki brought him. Haruki is Izuku’s first love, he has been there for him in every aspect of his life for almost three years now, and Izuku didn’t want to lose this comforting constant. The second truth was that Izuku was scared no one else would ever love him. Haruki was good at pointing at Izuku’s flaws, always telling him how annoying he was and how grateful he should be that someone would want to be with him. And even if deep down Izuku knew these words were only meant to hurt him, they had to hold some truth. If Haruki found Izuku annoying and boring, then maybe Izuku truly was. Ochako had told him countless times that it wasn’t true, but Ochako was his best friend, she was kind and probably didn’t want to hurt Izuku’s feelings. Haruki was brave and honest, Izuku admired that about him, the way he always said what was on his mind. So Izuku will take all of Haruki’s criticism and file them in a corner of his head, he will remember all of them and make sure he changes for the better. 

When he left later that day, Haruki didn’t take the time to say goodbye.

Izuku stood in the middle of their apartment, bored out of his mind. Ochako was busy and it’s not like Izuku had any other friends. His mind travelled to red eyes and a charming smirk, but he quickly shut it down. He had been so good at ignoring Katsuki, he couldn’t break now. He ended up spending the entire weekend alone, Haruki nowhere in sight. The next week rolled around and before he knew it, Izuku was sitting in his and Katsuki’s shared class. What used to be a day he looked forward to, became a source of anxiety. Would Katsuki be angry with him? Would he want to talk? Or worse would he just ignore him? He didn’t realise he how anxious he truly was until Ochako spoke up,

“Stop moving your leg, you’re making my desk shake!”

“Ah, sorry.” He said, giving her a small smile.

“What’s wrong with you? I haven’t seen you like this in a long time.”

“Like what?”

“Like you’re not telling me things.”

Izuku sighed, “I’m fine.”

“You clearly aren’t.”

“Well, I’m sorry to disappoint you, but nothing is going on.”

“Is this about Haruki?”

Izuku froze but relaxed just as soon. He had become well versed in  pretending everything was fine, “It’s not, I guess classes have been getting to my head.”

Ochako’s shoulder slumped, “Right, I’ll pretend I believe you, but if you keep acting weird I’ll force whatever is wrong out of you, okay?”

Izuku smiled, “Sure.” Even if it felt wrong lying to her like that, Izuku was still glad Ochako hadn’t given up on him yet. He didn”t know what he would be doing without her.

The end of class came soon, and Ochako ran to her next one like she usually did. Izuku took the time to gather his things and before he knew it, the room was empty. He went to stand up and was met with the person he tried so hard to avoid,

“Hey.” Katsuki said, looking him up and down, “I see you’re alive.”

“Why wouldn’t I be?” Izuku regretted that answer as soon as it left his mouth.

“I don’t know, maybe because you haven’t been replying to my text for the past two weeks? Or because you stopped coming to class?”

“I only skipped once.” Izuku mumbled.

“Why is that? You didn’t want to see me?”

Whenever Izuku felt cornered, he resolved to being defensive, “Not everything is about you, Katsuki. I was sick.”
Katsuki hummed, “So I guess the little visit you’re lovely boyfriend paid me had nothing to do with you?”

Izuku’s heart stopped. When did Haruki go to Katsuki? How did he find him? Had he hurt Katsuki?

“Hey, hey slow down. I’m fine, he didn’t do anything to me. Shit, I shouldn’t have poured my frustration on you.” Gentle hands grabbed at Izuku’s shoulders, preventing them from shaking, “I’m sorry, you didn’t do anything wrong.”

Izuku realised he had troubled breathing, his chest heaving with the effort of taking air in. Hot tears were rolling down his cheeks and his head was starting to spin. How could he be so careless? How could he let his problems reach his friends? After what happened with Shoto, Izuku promised himself he wouldn’t let anyone near him or Haruki. Nothing good came from being his friends, he had Ochako, he had Haruki, and he didn’t need anyone else. Why did he have to go and befriend someone who didn’t ask anything? Katsuki probably hated him. Izuku would understand, he should leave Katsuki alone and save him the trouble of being a part of his life. Lost in thought, Izuku didn’t realise that he had been pushed back down on his chair, when he opened his eyes, he saw Katsuki looking up from where he was kneeling, right in Izuku’s eyes. The hands that were still holding his shoulders helped Izuku ground himself.

“You’re okay, you’re safe. I’m not mad at you Izuku, you did nothing wrong.”

He was okay, he was safe, Katsuki wasn’t mad at him, he did nothing wrong. Izuku repeated those words like a mantra like they were the only thing keeping him sane. After what felt like minutes, Izuku calmed down. His cheeks were still wet, but his breathing was stable and he was no longer shaking.

“I’m sorry.” He said, lips trembling, holding back another sob.

“Don’t apologise. I shouldn’t have dropped that on you. I’m sorry I made you cry.”

I’m sorry I made you cry. Izuku gasped. Not once had Haruki apologised for making him cry. He would apologise for screaming, or for leaving bruises on Izuku, but he would never apologise for hurting him. He would always say it was Izuku’s fault, that he had pushed him there, that he was being dramatic for crying so much. Haruki hated it when Izuku cried, not because he felt bad for Izuku, but because he felt bad for himself.

“Still, I’m sorry Haruki came to you. What did he tell you?” Izuku asked, still a little frantic.

“Nothing to be worried about.” Katsuki smiled, a smile that screamed pity and Izuku hated it. He found comfort in Katsuki because he never judged him or made him feel like he was worth less because of his complicated relationship.

“Tell me. I want to know.” I deserve it, he thought.

Katsuki sighed and let go of Izuku to drag his hands down his face, “He told me to be careful with you. That he’d know if I tried anything.”

Izuku knew it couldn’t be all that Haruki said. He knew Katsuki was hiding something from him. He was too kind to repeat Haruki’s words, “There’s more, isn’t it?” 

Katsuki looked away as if he was ashamed of what he was about to say next, “I don’t want you to hear that.” he said instead.

“Whatever he told, I’ve heard it before, tell me.” 

Katsuki looked back towards him, his eyes wide and filled with sadness like Izuku’s confession was the worst thing he ever heard. He held onto Izuku’s knees, as if he needed something to keep himself from falling over, “Just because you’ve heard it before, doesn’t mean you should ever hear it again. I don’t want to talk about you like this, even if you ask me to.”

Izuku let out a broken whine, “Please, I need to know. I can take it.” he implored, feeling his eyes fill with tears again.

Izuku saw a shift in Katsuki’s eyes before he spoke, “He told me you were clingy, that you got attached too fast. That I wouldn’t be able to get rid of you, that you’d become obsessive if I kept hanging out with you.”

“What else.”

“He said he didn’t trust you, that you were close to cheating on him a few months ago, and that it was why he always kept an eye on you.” Katsuki took a deep breath, “he told me he was worried about me because it wasn’t the first time you got close to another guy before moving on to the next one. That he didn’t want to hurt the way you made him hurt the first time.”

Izuku didn’t know what to say. After all this time together, Haruki still didn’t trust him? Did he really think he would go see someone else? It’s like he didn’t know Izuku at all. But had Izuku really done anything to make Haruki feel that way? 

“You must think I’m a terrible boyfriend.” Izuku laughed but quickly stopped when he saw the confusion grow on Katsuki’s face,

“What do you mean?”

“Well, I feel bad I made him feel that way. I should be more careful.”

“Izuku, do you really believe that it’s your fault?”

This time it was Izuku who didn’t understand, “Well, yes. He felt bad because of something I did.” 

“Izuku, I will only say this once, okay?” Katsuki looked serious, “He wants you to feel bad. You hanging out with friends, which I assume is what he meant by ‘being too close to other guys’ is not wrong. You’re allowed to have friends, you’re allowed to go outside and talk to people without wondering if your boyfriend will be mad if he learns about it. He shouldn’t make you feel this way.” Katsuki squeezed Izuku’s hands, “You’re allowed to leave.”

‘You should leave him’ That’s the first thing Ochako told him the first time Izuku came crying to her. He told her he would be fine, that Haruki had apologised, that he was going to change. Izuku had lost count of the times Haruki made him cry, but what he knows is that every time Haruki apologises, Izuku forgives. Izuku didn’t know anything else. He could ignore Haruki for a while, but he will always come back. What would happen if he left? Where would he go? Who would he spend his days with? Who would want to be with him? Izuku knew he couldn’t leave, and that’s exactly what he said,

“I can’t.” Izuku closed his eyes, ready for the lecture Katsuki would undoubtedly give him. Telling him it wasn’t healthy, that he was a fool for staying with someone like Haruki. He didn’t know it yet, but what Katsuki said instead would change Izuku’s life.

“Alright.”

“What?”

“You can’t leave. I understand. I don’t know why you can’t, but if that’s how you feel I won’t tell you what to do. You know how to keep yourself safe better than I do.” Katsuki smiled, this time his smile was so sweet it made Izuku’s heart sore, “Promise me one thing though. If you ever feel bad, or like you’re in danger, I want you to come to me. Okay?”

Izuku gave his first real smile in days, “I promise.”

*

After their heavy discussion, things returned to how they were–mostly. They would meet up for study sessions, they would go out to the cafes and they would talk the way they used to. This time around, Izuku didn’t need to come up with lies as to why he needed to end their meetings short, he wouldn’t have to hide his grimace whenever his phone chimed with one of Haruki’s texts. He didn’t have to pretend everything was okay, because he knew Katsuki wouldn’t ask questions. He lets him leave without making him feel guilty and gently smiles, telling him they could catch up the next time.
Their friendship took a turn the first time Izuku met ‘shitty hair’ or as he will later learn, ‘Kirishima’, Katsuki’s best friend. They were studying at the library like they usually did, not having exchanged any words in a while, too focused on their work. So Izuku almost jumped out of his skin when a way too loud voice for a library exclaimed,

“Hey, bro!”

Izuku turned his head to the side to be met with tall red hair with a big smile and…pointy teeth. His attention quickly went back to his study partner who let out a loud groan,

“Keep it down shitty hair.”

“Sorry, I was excited to see you!”

“Whatever, what do you want?”

“Can’t I just come say hi to my best friend?”

“We’re barely friends, stop talking nonsense!”

Izuku’s head was spinning trying to keep up with the quick banter. He doesn’t think he’s ever heard Katsuki talk like this to anyone. He couldn’t help his laughter when he saw who he now knew as ‘shitty hair’, an over 6 foot grown man, pout. Suddenly all eyes were on him.

“Oh hi! Sorry, I didn’t see you, man!” Katsuki's friend said

“No worries! My name is Izuku!”

“Hi Izuku, Call me Eijirou!”

Izuku smiled back, huffing a life as he remembered the nickname Katsuki gave him.

“Leave him alone and move! We’re trying to study.” Katsuki spat.

Eijirou didn’t seem bothered by his tone, “Come on Kats! We haven’t talked in so long, I miss you! And I want to get to know your new friend!” 

Izuku felt foreign arms snake across his shoulders and felt himself tense up. Katsuki must’ve realised his discomfort because he quickly threw a pen at Eijirou, “Don’t touch people you don’t know.”

Izuku let out a sigh as he felt Eijirou move away from him,

“Ah, sorry dude, I’m a pretty tactile person,” he said, rubbing at the back of his neck.

Izuku smiled, showing he was okay. His eyes travelled back to Katsuki who looked at him apologetically before furiously typing on his phone. Izuku perked up when he heard his phone ding.

I can tell him to fuck off if he makes you uncomfortable.
  I don’t want you to get in more trouble.

So this is what this was about, Izuku thought. Was Katsuki worried about Haruki? A part of Izuku was happy his friend was willing to go to such lengths to keep him safe, but another one felt like he had burdened Katsuki with his issues. Katsuki should be able to hang out with his friends without thinking about Izuku’s well-being.

Don’t worry about me. Eijirou seems nice!

Katsuki visibly relaxed before turning back towards his friend.

“What are you guys talking about? Are you talking about me?

Katsuki started to gather his things, “None of your business. Come on, we were about to go eat you can join us.”

Izuku smiled and followed as he heard Eijirou whoop excitedly, which earned them aggressive shushing from the neighbouring tables. Lunch went by smoothly, and Izuku learned that even if he could be loud, Eijirou was also a good listener, always keen on asking questions and getting to know people. He didn’t seem bothered by Izuku’s reservations and was happy to switch subjects when he felt Izuku tense up. Katsuki watched them with a small smile, visibly happy his two friends were getting along. Eijirou had an afternoon class and had to run off, not without exchanging numbers with Izuku. Once he was gone, Katsuki walked Izuku back to his bus station.

“Are you sure this was okay?” He asked as they waited on the cold bench.

Izuku rolled his eyes “I told you I don’t mind. I like Eijirou, he’s easy to talk to!” 

“You know that’s not what I meant.” Katsuki insisted.

“I know.” Izuku nervously played with the hem of his shirt, “I don’t want to stop being your friend. I want to be able to talk to you and hang out with you. I also don’t want you to avoid your other friends on my behalf.” Izuku made sure to look into Katsuki's eyes, “Haruki scares me, but I don’t want to have to choose between him and my friends.”

Katsuki smiled like Izuku had said the right thing,” Alright then.”

“We still need to be careful. I don’t want him to bother you again.”

“And I don’t want you to get hurt because of me.” 

On the bus ride home, Izuku realised he didn’t care as much about what Haruki would have to say.

*

After that, everything goes back to how it was. Izuku is more careful and Haruki thinks his little confrontation with Katsuki worked out in his favour. Everything was the same apart from one small detail. They still met at the coffee shop or the library to study, or just hang out and Izuku started to realise he had come to trust Katsuki. The first time that thought hit him was just after a big fight with Haruki, about something he couldn’t even remember. He does remember that the first person who came to his mind when he felt upset and scared was Katsuki. That evening, after Haruki left their apartment in a fury, Izuku called Katsuki, crying and seeking comfort. Katsuki had told him that he could come over to his place and they spent most of the night together, talking about what had happened, with Katsuki trying his best to comfort him. This marked the beginning of a new routine for them when before Izuku tried his best to avoid talking about Haruki, he found that sharing his worries with Katsuki helped him breathe better. He hadn’t realised how exhausting and stressful it had been to keep all his emotions to himself. He felt bad for Ochako, his best friend he never managed to open up to, and now he was spilling all his secrets to someone he met just a few months ago. Maybe it was the way Katsuki never judged him, how he would listen without ever interrupting, how he held him whenever his emotions felt too much. Either way, Izuku liked talking to Katsuki, he liked the comfort it brought him. 

Today was one of those days when Izuku escaped Haruki's presence to relax. They were sitting on the floor of Katsuki's room, their backs to the bed, listening to music. None of them had spoken in the last hour; they were comfortable simply hanging out next to each other.
Izuku's phone broke the silence, his face fell as he saw the name on the screen,

"Is everything okay?" Katsuki asked.

"It's just Haruki." Izuku sighed, "He's not coming home tonight."

Katsuki turned to face Izuku, "Do you ever wonder where he goes?"

"Not really." Izuku lay his head on the bed, his eyes fixed on Katsuki's face, "It's sad to say, but I like it when he's gone. No matter where he went, at least I don't have to face him."

Katsuki let his head fall next to Izuku's, their faces only a few inches apart. This time the silence felt heavy and Izuku's heart was beating out of his chest. Staring into red eyes, all he could think of was how beautiful they were. A few more seconds went by before Izuku saw the worry on Katsuki's face,

"What's on your mind?" Izuku asked.

"Nothing," Katsuki replied, closing his eyes.

"You're always there for me when I need you. I want to be there for you too." Izuku answered.

Katsuki sighed, seemingly unsure of what to say. "I don't want to scare you, " he whispered.

Izuku's eyes grew wide. He knew exactly where this was going, of course, he knew. With all the times they spent together, all the tears Katsuki had wiped off his cheeks, all the nights Izuku had spent crying to Katsuki over the phone. As much as he tried to convince himself that what they had was only friendship, he knew it was a lie. He didn't want to acknowledge it, because he liked how things were now. He liked having Katsuki around, he enjoyed being with him. It might have been selfish, but Izuku didn't want to lose the one thing that comforted him.

"You could never scare me away," Izuku said.

Katsuki gave him a sad smile as if he could read Izuku's mind. "Sometimes, I wish I was the one you loved," he said, his eyes glistening with unshed tears.

"Me too," Izuku replied, realising it was the truest thing he'd ever said.

The following days were normal as if the conversation never happened. Neither of them brought it up, in an unspoken understanding that talking more would only bring heartbreak. They quickly got back to their usual conversations and Katsuki offered for them to meet with Kirishima.
Izuku was thrilled to see Kirishima again. Although their initial meeting had begun oddly, he had developed a fondness for Katsuki's close friend and appreciated knowing that Katsuki had someone he could rely on.
He was the first to arrive, securing a nice booth at the back of the coffee shop. He ordered himself a drink, waiting for his friends to arrive excited to enjoy a stress-free day, as Haruki was out of town for the day. To do what, he wasn't sure and he hadn't had the energy to ask for more details so he had just nodded and watched his boyfriend leave the apartment.
He was still caught up in his thoughts when he started in surprise at the scraping of chairs on the wooden floor.

"Hi guys!" Izuku said straightening up as Katsuki took a sit next to him while Kirishima sat opposite them.

"Hey," Katsuki said with a small smile.

Kirishima just nodded his way, his usual smile a little subdued. Izuku took note of it and planned on asking him if everything was okay.
They ate and talked, Katsuki and Kirishima complaining about their shared classes, while Izuku listened and laughed at their intense retellings.
Though he was having a good time, Izuku couldn't shake off the weird feeling in his chest, which came back every time he saw Kirishima's piercing eyes look straight at him. He tried to tell himself it was stress, he didn't know Kirishima that well and of course he wanted his friend's best friend to like him. He tried to shrug it off but the lingering anxiety couldn't seem to go away.
That anxiety grew tenfold when Katsuki excused himself to the bathroom, leaving Izuku and Kirishima alone at the table.

"It's nice here, isn't it?" Izuku said, awkwardly trying to lighten the mood. However, Kirishima seemed to have other plans,

"I need to talk to you about something," Kirishima said, ignoring Izuku's comment.

"Sure, what is it?" Izuku gulped, sensing his previous feeling was right.

Kirishima sighed, "Listen, I'm sure you're a nice guy, " he started, his lips in a tight smile, "but as Katsuki's best friend, I can't let you treat him like that anymore."

Izuku's eyes grew wide, "Like what?" he asked, genuinely confused.

"Like you can play with his feelings without consequences!" Kirishima exclaimed, his voice getting louder, "I know you're going through something difficult, and no he didn't tell me anything, but it was not hard to guess." he was quick to add as Izuku's face fell, "What I'm trying to say is, I'm sure you know how Katsuki feels about you. And yet, you keep going to him every time you need help, because you know he would never turn you down. If you want to keep whatever it is you have with Katsuki, you need to solve your issues first."

Izuku's heart sank. Is this what he was doing? Was he using Katsuki? Was he really playing with his friend's feelings? Izuku looked back on all the times they hung out, all the times their hands brushed, all the late-night calls, all the laughs, the cries and all the intimacy they shared. That's when it hit him, Izuku knew deep down that their relationship was different, but he never put a word on it, and now he realised he never did because what they have is wrong. It was wrong because Izuku had a boyfriend, it was wrong because Izuku knew he couldn't reciprocate Katsuki's feelings, at least, not in the way Izuku wanted to.
Before he could fall into an endless cycle of thoughts, Kirishima spoke again,

"I'm not blaming you, okay? I have no idea what you're going through and I will not judge you. If you need help in any way feel free to ask me." He looked around, making sure Katsuki was still out of earshot, "That being said, Katsuki is my friend, and I hate seeing him like this. He's making himself sick worrying about you, he never hangs out with our friends anymore, he barely eats, and he's been super stressed. I'm not saying it's your fault, but I don't think you letting him have hope is helping."

"You're right." Izuku heard himself say, "I'm glad Katsuki has someone to help him the way you are." He took his mug, attempting to hide how badly his hands were shaking, "I'm not going to go into details, but my boyfriend is not the nicest to me. And I think because it only used to affect me, I didn't see a reason to do anything about it. But now, knowing I've been hurting someone I care about…it changes everything." Izuku held back tears, "I'll do the right thing, I promise."

Kirishima put his hands around Izuku's, a gentle smile on his face, "Thank you. I can't even imagine how difficult all of this is for you. Promise me one thing though."

Izuku looked up, tilting his head in confusion,

"If you ever feel like you're in danger, or if you ever need help for anything, call me. I am worried about Katsuki, yes, but I don't want you to end up alone with no one you can count on."

As he let Kirishima's words sink in, Izuku couldn't hold back his tears anymore, "Thank you," he whispered.

"Don't thank me, I'm not going to leave a bro behind," Kirishima said, serious, earning a wet laugh from Izuku.

"You're a good friend," Izuku said.

"I try to be." Kirishima let go of Izuku's hands. "If you want to leave now, I can tell Katsuki you have an urgent call or something."

Izuku thought about it and decided it would be better for him to take some time to mull this conversation over. He needed to find what he would tell Katsuki. He didn't want to break their friendship, but he needed to put some boundaries before one of them got hurt,

"I'll leave, thanks."

"No problem, bro. And remember that you have my number, okay?"

Izuku nodded one last time before running out of the coffee shop, missing Katsuki's confused face as he stepped onto the street.

*

Izuku came back to a blissfully empty apartment, which meant he would be able to think of a plan before Haruki's return. He still wanted to be friends with Katsuki, but he knew he would need to stop relying on him so much.
As for his relationship with Haruki, Izuku knew it needed to come to an end. It probably needed to stop a long time ago, but Izuku wasn't ready then, he believes he is now. Spending so much time with Katsuki made him understand how wrong Haruki was treating him. He shouldn't be scared to go back home and he shouldn't be scared to spend time with his boyfriend. He shouldn't feel unsafe around the person who was supposed to love him and care for him.

"I deserve better," Izuku said to himself, smiling sadly, realising how long it took him to accept this simple fact. He deserved better, he deserved to be loved, he deserved to feel safe.

He took out his notebook and tried to write what he would say to Haruki. He knew he needed to be firm and not waver at the last second like he usually did. This time he wouldn't turn back. As determined as he was, Izuku knew he needed someone to hold him accountable, so without having to think, he called the only person he trusted with this,

"Hey Ochako?"

"Hey Izuku! What's up?"

"I need your help with something, can you come over?"

"I'm on my way. See you!"

Izuku sighed, relieved to know he wouldn't have to do this alone. He also felt bad, knowing that he had been neglecting his friendship with Ochako for the past weeks. He had found comfort in Katsuki's ability to never ask questions, or judge him for his choices. But he could also acknowledge that in calling him out, Ochako was trying to help him. She was doing everything to open his eyes, but he was too caught up in his relationship and insecurities to see the signs. But Izuku felt different now, and he knew Ochako would be the best person to help him. He knew she wouldn't take Haruki's bullshit, and for the first time, Izuku didn't think he would either.

Not even an hour after the call, Ochako was storming into his apartment, questioning him about why he needed help,

"I feel like I haven't seen you in years!" Ochako whined.

"You're being dramatic! We see each other in class every week!" Izuku rolled his eyes at his friend's antics.

"I know! But we used to hang out more outside of school. I've missed you," she said, pulling him in a tight hug.

"I missed you too," Izuku replied, his voice muffled by Ochako's shoulder.

"Now," she said, urging them to sit on the couch, "why did you call me?"

Izuku's hands were moist and he tried to find the best way to explain his situation, "I want to break up with Haruki," he blurted instead.

Ochako's eyes grew wide, and so did her smile, "YOU WHAT!" she screamed so loud it made Izuku flinch.

Izuku tried to shush her, suddenly self-conscious about his own admission, "Calm down! Do you want to warn the entire neighbourhood?"

"I'm sorry," she quickly said, "I'm just so proud of you!" her entire face lit up with relief, "I know I was insistent and looking back I should've been more understanding. But I was so worried for you! You were so sad, and I could tell how scared you were," her eyes filled with tears, "I know how hard this is for you. You're so strong, Izuku." Her face showed all the pain she's been hiding, as she shook with the power of her sobs.

Izuku plunged forward to take her in his arms, his tears soaking her shirt. He hadn't known how bad she felt for him, how scared she must've been seeing her best friend stuck in such a distressing relationship. Izuku cried, with the realisation that while trying to hide his pain, all his did was hurt his closest friend.

*

They spent the rest of the day catching up on what they missed in each other's lives, watching silly YouTube videos and listening to music. Everything they used to do before Haruki became a part of Izuku's life. Neither of them realised how much time had passed, and they both jumped in surprise when they heard the front door open. Izuku's muscles tensed, his heartbeat growing faster, his entire body was ready to run away, doing everything it could to survive. Izuku's head cleared as he felt Ochako's gentle hand on his shoulder, her smile warm and calm, "We got this," she said, standing up, ready to confront Haruki.
Izuku followed her lead and took the time to take in Haruki's state. He looked crazed, his eyes were bloodshot, his skin dull, and his hair was a mess. Haruki walked towards them and that's when Izuku smelled it, alcohol, Haruki was drunk. Izuku looked to Ochako, scared, remembering the last time Haruki came home under the influence. He got mad over something stupid and threw a glass at Izuku's face, which left him with a lovely scar above his left eyebrow. He had told Ochako he fell down the stairs, Izuku knew she didn't believe him, but he was glad she didn't ask any questions.

"You're having a little sleepover?" Haruki slurred.

Izuku took Ochako's hand in his, squeezing it tight, "We spent the afternoon together," he whispered, hating how weak he sounded.

"Speak louder, I can't hear you!" Haruki kept getting closer.

Ochako stepped in front of Izuku, blocking him from Haruki's frame, "What do you want?" she said, her voice steady.

"Aren't I allowed to be in my own apartment?" Haruki asked, crossing his arms.

Ochako looked back at Izuku, her eyes asking a silent question. Izuku was unsure if today was the right day to do this, but he also knew he would always find excuses.

"Haruki's drunk we can't tell him."

"Today's not a good day, he's tired."

"He's upset his favourite team lost, I'll wait for tomorrow."

And so, Izuku took a deep breath and nodded.

Ochako nodded back,

"Izuku has something to tell you and then he's sleeping over at my place." Ochako stood tall, showing she wouldn't back down.

Haruki pitched his voice higher in a mocking tone, "oh…I see. Is Izuku too scared to talk to me? What does he have to say?"

Izuku stepped out from behind Ochako, "I've been thinking about it for a while, and I think we should break up. Neither of us is happy in this relationship. I think it would be good for us to step away." Izuku recited what he and Ochako had practiced earlier. He still forgot half of his speech and felt sweat dripping down his face at the look on Haruki's face.

"Is this a joke?" Haruki raised his voice, "What are you talking about? Was this that stupid bitch's idea? Has she gotten into your head?" Haruki said, pointing at Ochako, his face deformed by rage.

"Do not talk to her like that!" Izuku found himself replying.

Before he knew it, he felt a sharp pain on the left side of his face,

"How dare you touch him!" Ochako recovered from the shock and put herself back between Haruki and Izuku, "You do realise I'm not as nice as he is, right?" Izuku could see she was shaking, "You just hit my best friend, I could go to the police station and turn you in for assault!" she took one last step towards Haruki, pointing a finger at his chest, "With the bruise your hit will leave plus your terrible reputation around campus, it won't be hard to believe."

Haruki's face fell, the realisation of what he had just done hitting him. He sent one last panicked glance at Izuku before bolting out of the apartment.
Ochako fell to the floor as soon as the front door shut close.

"Ochako! Is everything okay?" Izuku fell to his knees, cupping her face searching for injuries. He grew confused when he saw she was laughing,

"Oh my god! Did you see his face? I thought he was going to pee himself!" she rolled on the ground, tears streaming down her face her entire body shaking with laughter.

Once the confusion passed, Izuku found himself joining her, "I've never seen him look so scared." Izuku lay down next to her, letting the anxiety leave his body.

They spent a few minutes, giggling on the floor, recovering from their encounter with Haruki. Once the adrenaline was gone, Izuku was reminded of the pain in his face,

"He sure knows how to throw a punch," he said, laughing awkwardly.

"Oh no, Izuku." Ochako sat up, taking a look at her friend's face, "do you have ice somewhere?"

"In the freezer."

Ochako came back with a pack of ice, gently putting it against Izuku's cheek,

"Thanks," he hissed.

Ochako packed his bags for him, "Keep holding the ice!" before they returned to her place, both feeling exhausted from what had happened.

*

The next day, Izuku woke up in a panic, finally realising what he had done. It took Ochako an hour and four superhero videos to calm him down.
They had a long talk about what would be best for him and both concluded that he should try to be as far away from Haruki as possible. They had managed to scare him off the day before, but Haruki was probably fuming as they spoke, his pride wounded by Ochako's speech mixed with the hurt from the breakup. Izuku had already blocked Haruki's number, following Ochako's advice, but it didn't mean he felt safe.

"I don't know what to do. What if he does something? He must be so mad, why did I do that? I can't even go back to my apartment, he lives there! Where am I supposed to stay? I'm so stupid Ochako, this was such a bad idea!" Izuku felt his breathing grow faster as he thought about all the bad things that could happen.

"Hey, it's going to be okay." Ochako held him, gently rubbing his back, "I know it's scary, but you did the right thing. And you know you can stay here with for as long as you need."

"I know, but I can't stay with you forever." Izuku sighed.

Ochako hummed, thinking, "It's almost summer break."

"It is…" Izuku said.

"You could go back to your mom's house to take a break from everything. Take some time for yourself, you know?"

Izuku looked at his lap, considering Ochako's words, "I don't know. It'll feel like running away."

"It wouldn't be." Ochako, said sternly, "You went through hell, Izuku. You're allowed to take a break. I'd say that you should take a break!" She looked at him with a kind smile,"And as much as I would love for you to stay, I don't think it's safe here for you. Haruki is still out there, and I don't want you to spend your days stressed and afraid to meet him."

Izuku took a deep breath. He knew she was right, that he should go away for a while. But it felt like letting Haruki win. Why should he be the one to leave? Why should he be the one to let his friends behind? What about Ochako? What about Katsuki? That last thought made his heart squeeze. What would he tell him? Would Katsuki be mad? Or worse, would he be indifferent?
Ochako looked at him, like she could read his thoughts,

"I'm not going anywhere, okay? I just want you to be safe. Plus, we're best friends! A little distance will not break what we have!" Her eyes were shining with unshed tears, but her smile was genuine.

"You're right." Izuku smiled back, "Actually, there is something I never told you."

And so Izuku told her all about Katsuki. How he helped him when he felt like he was stuck like he would never be able to escape Haruki, like he deserved everything that had ever happened to him. And he told her about Katsuki's feelings and his own. Ochako listened quietly, giggling when Izuku started talking about how much Katsuki meant to him. When he was done, he felt like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders and like he could finally breathe again,

"I'm sorry I never told you." He added.

"It's okay. I'm glad you had someone like him. I know I can be a little pushy when I'm worried," she laughed.

"You can be." Izuku agreed, "But it saved us last night. And I'll always be grateful for you."

"Stop, I just stopped crying!" Ochako said, lightly punching Izuku's arm.

They stayed silent for a while before Izuku thought back to Katsuki,

"What if he doesn't care?" he asked.

"About you leaving?"

"Yes."

"From what you've told me, I don't think that's an option. " She looked him in the eyes. "You want him to care, don't you?"

Izuku gave her a tight smile, "I do."

"I don't know him, but it sounds like he really likes you, Izuku."

"It wouldn't matter if I leave." Izuku said, looking up to the ceiling.

"Why wouldn't it?" Ochako asked, confused.

"Because, if I'm not there anymore, he'll just move on and find someone else. Someone who isn't broken."

Ochako took him by the shoulders, "First of all, you are not broken. You went through something awful, but you're not broken. You're one of the strongest person I know." She made a point to look into his eyes, "Second of all, if he truly likes you, he will wait." She sounded so sure of herself that Izuku caught himself believing her.

"Are you sure?" His voice came out weak.

"Like I said, I don't know him. But if he cares for you, he will wait. You deserve someone who will wait for you to be ready."

And Izuku believed her.

*

The following days were a whirlwind of emotions. Izuku came to term with the fact that he needed to leave so he tried to spend as much time as he could with Ochako. He had to figure out how to pack up his belongings from his old apartment, where Haruki was still living. To that issue came an answer in the form of the very tall, very muscular redhead. Izuku had recalled Kirishima's offer and had asked him to help him move out his stuff, and Kirishima had gladly agreed to help. They bumped into Haruki, but Kirisihima's imposing presence stopped Haruki from doing anything he would later regret.
With all his bags packed and classes finally over, he was ready to leave. However, he knew that he had to say one final goodbye. Izuku hadn't seen Katsuki since the time they met at the coffee shop. They had texted briefly, but nothing as elaborate as the conversations they usually had.
This time Izuku knew the conversation should be held in person. They managed to set up a time to hang out, in the coffee shop they used to study at what felt like a lifetime ago.

When the day came, Izuku was nervous. He was scared he would backtrack, even though his decision was made. He was also scared of Katsuki's reaction.

"Hey."

Izuku jumped in surprise at the sound, "Hi!"

Katsuki sat down opposite him and for the first time since their first encounter, the silence was awkward. They looked at each other, neither of them knowing what to say. Izuku tried to break the ice,

"How have you been?" his cheery voice sounded fake to his own ears.

Katsuki gave him a sad smile, "What did you want to tell me?" he said, matter-of-factly.

"Is it that obvious?" Izuku awkwardly laughed.

"Something's been off with you since that time we hung out with Eijirou." Katsuki looked everywhere but at Izuku, "You've been distant."

Izuku kept his hands busy by holding his mug, "I guess I have been. I'm sorry, I just needed to solve some issues."

"Is it about Haruki?" Katsuki asked.

"Yes, I broke up with him." Izuku said, a proud smile tugging at his lips.

"No shit!" Katsuki's face lit up at the news, "I'm happy for you. That fucker never deserved you anyway."

Izuku smiled, "Thanks."

"I'm guessing there is something else. You wouldn't look so sad if there wasn't." Katsuki's arms were crossed over his chest, as if he was trying to protect himself.

"Yes, there is something else." Izuku took a deep breath, knowing that his next sentences would mark the end of something he cared for dearly, "I've been thinking about what to do now. And with Haruki still here, I don't feel safe walking around campus." He stopped, gauging Katsuki's reaction.

"You're leaving." Katsuki said, nodding his head.

"I'm leaving." Izuku replied, not trusting his voice to say more.

For the first time since they got here, Katsuki looked at Izuku right in the eyes,"For how long?"

"I'm not sure." Izuku said honestly, "I'll be staying with my mom all summer. It's still unclear what I will do after."

"You'd drop out of college because of that asshole?" Katsuki said, growing frustrated.

"It's not all about him." Izuku answered, "I think I need time to recover from everything that happened. I spent years forgetting who I was, dropping my passions, and everything that made me happy. I want some time to find myself again. And if that means taking a year off from school, then I'm fine with it." By saying it, Izuku realised how sure he was of his decision, "I'm not doing it because of him, I'm doing it for myself."

Katsuki's eyes widened, and then he smiled, "I'm proud of you," he said, "you deserve to be happy."

Even though he promised himself he wouldn't cry, Izuku felt his cheeks growing damp. He thought about how he should ask his next question, and he realised he didn't have to hide his feelings anymore,

"What about us?" Izuku felt his hands shaking.

Katsuki chuckled, "Don't worry about me. You need to focus on yourself for once."

"Is it so strange to be worried I'll lose you?" Izuku frowned.

"You won't." Katsuki was quick to reassure, "Wherever you go, however long you'll be gone when you come back, I'll be here, waiting for you." Katsuki took Izuku's hands in his, "Whatever you want us to be when you come back, I'll give it to you. If you want us to be friends, I'll be your friend, if you want us to be lovers, I'll be your lover and if you want us to be nothing, I'll let you go."

"I would never want us to be nothing." Izuku's vision was blurry with tears.

"Then I'll be waiting," Katsuki said, a single tear falling on his cheek.

"I'll come back," Izuku whispered.

Izuku wasn't sure how long they sat there with their hands intertwined, before Katsuki spoke again,

"You can leave, I'll stay here a little longer," his voice was hoarse, like he was holding himself back from crying more.

"Okay," Izuku smiled, "I'll get going then."

Izuku gathered his things and stood up, sparing Katsuki one last glance before leaving the coffee shop.

*

Summer break had passed, and the time spent away from everything reinforced his decision to take a year off. He spent time with his mom, he started drawing again, he laughed louder, spoke up more often, dressed with more colours and became the boy he had left behind years ago.
He travelled a lot, moved to different cities, worked in grocery stores, bookshops and cafés. He met new people, made new friends and learned new things. He grew into someone he never thought he'd be. Someone bright and confident, someone who knew what he wanted. For all that, he never forgot about the people he left behind. He and Ochako called every week, Ochako told him about all the gossip he was missing and Izuku told her about his adventures. He stayed in touch with Kirishima, who sent him workout tips since Izuku told him about his wish to get stronger.
Izuku also spent his days talking to Katsuki. They texted a lot, almost every day and Izuku was glad to see that distance had not broken what they had. He thinks it made them even stronger and Katsuki seemed to like the person Izuku was growing into.

Izuku almost screamed in joy the day Ochako informed him of Haruki's expulsion from college after students shared various complaints of bullying. He was happy that Haruki got what he deserved, and he felt relieved knowing he could go back to school without having to worry about his crazy ex-boyfriend.

He only warned Ochako of his return, who was excited to help him move back into a new place. He spent the first few days catching up with her before going to see the other person he missed the most.

He stood in front of a door he had seen countless times before and yet it felt like a new beginning.
He knocked and took a deep breath. He couldn't hide his smile when the door revealed the man who had been haunting his every thought for the past year.

"Izuku?" Katsuki said, his eyes blown wide.

"I had time to think about it, and I think you were always the one I loved."

Izuku's breath was taken away as soft lips smashed into his.

"I love you too," Katsuki whispered in his neck.