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Was it all over? Was that it? The fight she had longed for thousands of years, waited for it in his prison cell in the tree had ended in what she could not even call either a win or a loss. It had not been worth all the time and effort they had put onto it just for her to want to be the bigger cookie. Shadow milk didn't have anything to apologize for and pure vanilla certainly didn't need to forgive her. It had been the worst, most ridiculous and certainly the least intellectual conversation. Pretending to understand someone as complex and difficult to read as her was beyond ludicrous, yet it had felt like a dream seconds before pure vanilla showed his true intentions and goals.
Shadow milk cookie in all of her glory now was in hiding; he was horrible at it as well but it was the thought that counted. If one could count a whole blue colored mansion in the middle of a huge 10 acre width garden as a good disguise, shadow milk himself claimed it was hiding in plain sight that is the best camouflage . Candy apple cookie agreed with all they said, black sapphire cookie had his doubts but what could he do about what his master told him anyway, so he had agreed to go with the mansion plan. Shadow milk barely interacted with the other two, they were always in their own room and even when they went out, those two had no idea where she had gone. He was not even hiding, he was only ordering the other two cookies far less than he usually used to do.
“Just tell her what I told you as well,” They said, “No disturbance, no knocking, or else I'll show you both I know more tricks than just the ones I do with cards.” All told with the disturbing deadpanned expression on the jester's face to black sapphire, who was far more than used to her threats. “Yes… master shadow milk.” He said as he left and closed the door, leaving them alone to whatever it was they wanted to do.
The jester was restless, even when floating in one place she couldn't rest her mind. They could not rest. She had not slept a blink since running off while being in the worst fight of her life. He had been blinded by getting too close to the sun, by the literal meaning. One could say pure vanilla was the impersonation of the literal star, or at least too damn bright for someone like shadow milk who had spent those many years in the darkness of her prison.
They had no idea what their next step should've been, they couldn't contact the other beasts since they didn't want to become the laughing stick among them and switch places with mystic flour cookie. On the other hand, he could not contact dark enchantress cookie. Sure, she had helped her with her new body and a lot of other things; that didn't mean that she could not absolutely despise her and her existence for no reason. Who's to say, but they actually had their reasons to hate her. Her doppelganger was going around and tricking people into believing her trickery, when shadow milk the actual fount of deceit was there, in all of her glory.
Well maybe not anymore, dark enchantress ruined everything. “That good for nothing white lily slash dark enchantress slash stupid fucking good for nothing, wanna be me BITCH!” She shouted in the huge room, if there were anything made of glass it would already be broken but since he knew herself too well everything was magically unbreakable. I am not upset by that little pest trying to trick me! He has lied through his teeth to his two servants. The amount of anger that ran through their jam every time they thought about pure vanilla was astronomical.
The fact was that it was not only ferocity they felt and there was also something else they didn't want to think about too much, which made them even angrier. She shouted, “Who do you think you are? I am above you and whoever else you have by your side!” A day had passed by without her ordering the other two cookies around, she found it difficult to do anything except being angry.
Then he remembered that they still had the connection with the other cookie and her soul jam. They finally decided to sit down on the nearest chair resembling thing near and focus so they could catch a thing or two from the other side, from the other cookie. They closed all of their eyes and went eerily quiet, “If I see him talk about that wench of a cookie or even think about her or be around her I am going to vomit and make him feel every second of misery I've felt since he left.”
She could hear the other three, small cookies talk to them every now and then and they responded with the sweetest, most pleasant tone possible that disgusted shadow milk to her core. “...by the way, do you think white lily cookie would be okay? I mean… she didn't let any of us go with her…” Said one of the insignificant brats, as what shadow milk liked to call the three little kids that followed pure vanilla everywhere. He heard pure vanilla's response; “Oh yes of course. When we were just as young as you three, gingerbrave, she went on adventures that she often didn't even tell me about. Most times she went alone and if I was lucky enough, we went together sometimes.”
And was that not just enough to make shadow milk throw the worst fit. Surprisingly enough however, they remained calm and kept on listening and listening only because they knew if they read his mind they'd be flooded with thoughts about her and they already had enough issues to not want that on their plate. “Don't you idiots have any other thing to talk about? Like me, also known as the main character in pure vanilla's life!!!” He said unbelievably quietly in the silence of his room.
“I'm wondering what others will say about my encounter with shadow milk cookie.” Pure vanilla said and stole all of the jester's focus. A satisfied smile formed on her lips at the mention of her name, and the fact that they were feeling conflicted about what had happened showed that she had left more than just a bad memory in their life. He continued; “Golden cheese had the worst interaction I'd say, I don't think she'd enjoy the fact that I wanted to make peace with them.”
Shadow milk was not given the opportunity to calm down by the blonde's words at all, she was not one to be forgiven because she was never at her mercy. Even though they were on the edge of passing out a few hours ago, they would've never given pure vanilla the satisfaction of asking for her forgiveness even if it meant they would possibly crumble . “I would still love to be her friend, even if it changes her or doesn't.”
Their eyes widened at her last words, they didn't even listen to the rest of the conversation since they were not the main subject of it and also; they were too dumbfounded. She began to laugh and then her laughter turned into cackling hysterically, loud enough to make the furniture in the room vibrate. As their eyes began to tear from laughter they said; “Oh dear, I thought he wasn't funny or had no humor! They probably should give the clown thing as a career a chance.”
Then she got off the table she had chosen to sit on earlier and began to float around while she talked to herself. Everything about pure vanilla confused her, why were they so forgiving? He was thinking that couldn't even be blamed on their stupidity, he couldn't even convince himself that they were stupid anymore. The soul jam had chosen her for a reason and if she was actually the idiot shadow milk had painted her to be in his mind, it wouldn't have had chosen her.
Hours had passed in the peace of their own company, every now and then they would get so pissed off they summon things out of nowhere just to break them and leave the pieces there. One thought after the other, and they were all more idiotic than the last one; too dangerous, too reckless, and needed too much to think of to actually work. “I want to make her feel miserable again since she loved seeing me at my lowest that bad!” He said to himself. The time was already a concept that meant nothing to him, but he knew it was probably post midnight from the windows.
They used to love the stars until the view of the scenery was taken from them ruthlessly, that was one reason why they hated being alone at night. It reminded her of the darkness in the tree, being tied down and separated from her friends even though they were in the same place yet couldn't see each other or hear one another. They hated being alone under the stars, so damn much since it reminded them of the possibility that was there. The possibility of imprisonment and this time it being for the rest of eternity.
“Wh… why am I thinking of that all of a sudden. Ugh, that stupid waste of my time vanilly, is responsible for all of this.” They shouted as they broke something else, possibly a mirror as they could tell from the sound.
Being alone was not good for them, it was their weak spot and to make it worse, the owner of the other half of their soul jam was aware of that and yet he stupidly used it not in the way it was intended to be used against them. She began to cackle once more; “How can anyone fail that miserably at threatening someone? Maybe burning spice was right and I really have gotten the easiest fish to bait.”
But was that really the case? They could have easily threatened her and in the same breath, committed to the bit and actually had turned the empty looking threats to a horrifying reality for the jester; but they hadn't done that and that never stopped rubbing shadow milk the wrong way. Kindness never came without wanting something in return, that was something that she had read about in fairytales and even if it had ever happened, it had never happened to her so it remained fake in her eyes. Everything was done for a reason, no one was ever nice without wanting something in return and no one was ever evil without someone else doing them wrong in the first place, or they were just born that way with the desire to do harm and bring nothing but darkness to the world.
That was how the world worked. Simple state of mind.
They were a huge example of that said anticipation. She was done wrong over and over again, without stopping and never learning why until she learned, maybe some cookies didn't need a reason to be good. Maybe it was only goodness that was done for a reason and was barely ever returned. “Her kindness is fake, just like that shell of a person that walks beside her wearing braids and green clothes.” He could not agree with all of the words he had just said, maybe he was awaiting someone, anyone to prove his words wrong. They needed pure vanilla to prove them wrong but who could just blindly do that after being treated like trash? Shadow milk had no intention of wanting to be forgiven, they were just returning what they were given by the universe.
Yet, the what-ifs kept on flooding his brain. Pure vanilla was becoming a crime case to her that she needed to solve just for her job to be done. They knew that would end in destruction, but there they were waiting for the darkness to show any resemblance of the other cookie, who looked like he was made of nothing but stars. Her light could never reach her in a way that mattered, there was no way back for her but she wanted to feel and to know if the kindness that was being offered to her in exchange for nothing was real.
“I curse you and your stupid blonde hair, pure vanilla cookie.” They said, not knowing why her hair was the first thing that came to their mind to curse but they brushed it off. She sat on the bare ground silently and shivered at the coldness, sighing and focusing again to check if the other cookie was awake so terrorizing his dreams would be easier for her. Much to his distaste however, they were awake. From what he could hear from the other side it was so quiet that it made sense that pure vanilla was the only one awake wherever they were. And so shadow milk made a final decision.
They were going to terrorize him in person.
What was there to stop him anyway? He was only weakened enough to not be able to take the soul jam but not weak enough to not be able to go after the one who was half of her soul; who had half of her soul. They were excited to see that miserable, sad, defeated expression on pure vanilla's face again; they missed looking at that face that was filled with nothing but despair, and had no one to rely on except shadow milk. “Oh my, this is exciting!” She was on the air kicking her feet in excitement and then she just stopped mid air.
“Wait a second. Why in witches’ name am I this excited about meeting… them ?” There were many, many cookies that he had puppeteered and enjoyed every second of; many others that had been tormented or tortured by his hands for months or even years before his banishment and imprisonment. Yet when it came to pure vanilla it was the worst feeling ever in the best way. Back when she was truthless recluse it was bringing shadow milk so much joy, each second they were around pure vanilla, even though he barely spoke with her, were the most pleasant moments of her life.
They had not hated having her company and that was an absolutely horrifying thought to them so they just took a deep breath and said; “Eh. She's just precious as a marionette and when someone is playing with her like the pretty little doll she is, it is all thanks to me.” They took a deep breath and teleported to where the other half of the soul jam was, when they opened their eyes they were blinded by the sight of a thousand suns all of a sudden. She literally had to cover her eyes, summoning a magazine out of thin air just to hold in front of the light source which was probably the other cookie herself.
“There goes my beautiful, dramatic entrance and come back from the dead.” She said for pure vanilla to hear. They heard footsteps fading and the lights grew dimmer; they uncovered their eyes to be met with the blonde once more. “I'm so glad you're still… here.” said pure vanilla cookie. The absolute audacity he had to say that to her face with such a soft expression as if he was to pity shadow milk right there and then. Shadow milk frowned, “You really think of yourself to be that powerful? Of course I'm alive you idiot cookie, I look as if you had never laid a finger on me.”
“Well… as far as I remember, I really didn't.” She said, wearing a thoughtful expression. “I tried to but you really didn't like me to do that and I respected your words and boundaries." Then they smiled at shadow milk who was very much not happy about their extremely sharp memory for a thousand someone year old cookie. Yes, shadow milk was way older but he didn't count the amount of years he had spent in prison, they didn't count. They rolled their eyes at the other cookie and began to float around as they analyzed every corner of the room with their eyes.
Looking back at pure vanilla, she asked; “So where is this place? And no I'm too tired to read your mind just get on with it.” She was not tired, in fact she physically could not get tired anyway and lying was expected from the cookie of deceit and so on. “This is…my castle and this is my room. I thought the other holder of the soul jam of knowledge would know that much.” He said, the smile on his face was so bright it hurt shadow milk's eyes to an extent when looking at his face. Their eyes finally got used to all the shine and light in the room, assaulting their vision and they said; “I said, I don't care about such petty things in your life. Petty things include anything that's related to your little fake, two-faced girlfriend as well.”
Pure vanilla looked like they were taken aback by the mention of the girlfriend word. “Who are you talking about?” He asked with his head tilted in confusion. Shadow milk narrowed her eyes, there wasn't a single thing about them that showed they were lying and knew who she was talking about, just absolute and pure confusion. They sighed; “Dark enchantress. White lily. Or whatever fake, new personality she has made up to satisfy your stupid memories from when you were young and she was actually just one cookie.” they said to the other cookie. He couldn't believe it if he hadn't seen it with his own eyes.
“How exquisitely humorous of you.” She said, “Me and white lily cookie go way back, as you referenced but we remain friends and only that to this day. How does that concern you though?”
Too much information despite only two sentences being said, too many questions asked despite there being only one. Shadow milk was so confused, yet there was a hint of positivity as well. That meant she was not in the claws of the chemical reaction called love and that made her even more miserable; sure she could have been in love decades before their interactions but what mattered were those moments. “So then… stop worrying too much about her! Give up, she's not white lily or whatever! Anyway she bores me, give me something else to talk about vanilly go on.”
Pure vanilla frowned and thought for a few seconds, “Can you talk about… why you're here in my room in the middle of the night when there's no one else around?” When they said it like that it sounded so wrong, but that was the whole point of shadow milk being there. They giggled quietly as they floated around the blonde, “I don't think there is anything wrong with this, didn't you want to be my friend, vanilly?” She said, then floated right in front of him and continued; “Or did I misheard those last few words hours ago? Hm?”
His intentions didn't need to be discovered by the other cookie but it was already obvious they weren't nice ones. They were there because they were bored, and there wasn't anyone in their mind better than her; so gullible and easy to fool in specific topics. “You didn't, I'm glad you had a change of heart.” They said, smiling with their eyes closed and their face shone like the damn sun towards shadow milk's eyes again; even the eyes on her hair stung from before and that wasn't helping. “Witches, vanilly. Are you always this… shiny?”
The answer to that was yes, even when she was all the way down to the bottom back in the spire in black colored clothes she was still shining. Just like when clouds can't cover the sun on a rainy day for too long , shadow milk thought to himself. “I guess so?? Everyone says I light up the room but they mean it literally.” They responded.
This wasn't going the way she thought it would at all, pure vanilla was way too pleased and happy to reunite with her. “What the hell is wrong with you? I tortured you mentally and would do it again just to get a reaction out of you, I literally came here to bother you and…” He said and pointed to all of pure vanilla as a whole; “...All of this happens! Drop the act, vanilly. I miss it when you just tolerated me and this is just too… nice!”
No one could have made her say those words and yet she had just let them out, it seemed like the idiot was way too nice and shadow milk hated that. They would have rathered he was just another two-faced cookie just like themself, or just straight up a damn liar who had made an utter foil of everyone for all the years they've had the soul jam for; but no. Pure vanilla was the perfect holder for the soul jam of truth and that just made them the perfect target for all of the jester’s hatred and despise. She shone, shining and light came from stars and he didn't need to be reminded of stars, not anymore.
“There's no act.” Shadow milk knew that but refused to believe it, there had to be ulterior motives to all of his kindness. “Listen, everyone can use a friend. If you don't want me as a friend then that's fine as well, but just know isolation and power won't save you.”
Pure vanilla was talking like the sound of reason and they hated that, back when they were still going through her memories to corrupt them they always sounded like that. Shadow milk hated being pitied, he wasn't even pitying her and just wanted to reason with her, wanted to understand her which somehow he did and she couldn't help but be angry about all of it. “Stop trying to sound like you know everything. I told you, you know nothing, you are nothing!” He got close to them again as they were sitting down on a sofa, their face worse than the casual, calm expression like they were made of stone, but he had seen that face break.
Who was to say it wouldn't break again, even though in those seconds the one on the edge of breaking was shadow milk herself. They sat down next to the blonde and took a deep breath, “I'm feeling nice tonight so, I won't get too mad. Another subject, my dear friend . For your own safety, this time make it about yourself and not me.” they said with a hidden threat in their tone of voice. She hadn't seen his private memories, one might wonder why but her timing was tight and she needed important information instead of what his love life was like or why he preferred sour over sweet. He leaned his back on the sofa and looked at pure vanilla, deeply drowning themself in thoughts of what to say or do next.
“I can tell you about… witches I don't know, really. Do you want to know my deepest fears to play them out later or you'd rather I told you a secret berry juice hack that would lessen its alcohol effect?” The blonde scoffed, being the literal fount of knowledge for the time being aside he really was smart. Shadow milk could tell that she knew about which memories they had gone through and what they didn't know about and she could tell them about. “Most of my memories include white lily and,” He pointed at shadow milk's face with his orchid staff and continued; “You look like that when I mention her name so I'd rather not get on your nerves again, my dear.”
She did in fact make the same furious, disgusted face at the mention of her name every time. Shadow milk hated a lot of things; his fears often showed themselves in the form of that as well but what was there to fear about dark enchantress cookie? They knew she had planned to betray and backstab all of the beasts so that wasn't an issue, they still couldn't figure out why. If it was mindless hatred for no reason shadow milk would've known but it wasn't that. “Ugh so what?” He managed to say, “You can not and will not make me like anyone. Either is it her or one of those little brats you keep around you!”
Pure vanilla looked confused and then he realised, “Gingerbrave and his friends you mean? Oh that's alright. No one has to like everyone even if it's without reason.”
That was one of the main reasons she made shadow milk's jam boil. They had principles, they had reasons and applied them to everyone and yet for shadow milk they just stamped all over those principles. She knew that the exceptions weren't only for her, pure vanilla did that for cookies he had faith in; like white lily and now apparently shadow milk herself. “Yeah yeah I hate a lot of people, thank you very much. But you're on the top of my list, I hate you more than anyone else.”
A lie so white that it wasn't clear to anyone who heard it, whether or not it was the truth. Maybe it was what years of being the master of deceit did to a cookie or it was because the lie was a real, bad one. Pure vanilla giggled softly, “Friends don't hate each other if you want to be that, shadow milk.” They pointed out, the other cookie was still feeling conflicted about this entire exchange but was calmer now. He still couldn't help his confusion and wonder why.
Trying to help her was rotten work; she didn't trust anyone, she didn't believe anyone actually had only good intentions specifically when it came to her, and last of all, she didn't believe in general that that kind of kindness existed. Why would anyone waste their time and put on the work to glue the tiniest pieces of a broken glass together and make it whole again. They had made peace with how and who they were long ago, they never felt bad for anything they did since it was basically a reaction of what the world had shown them, cruelty brought cruelty and they were the proof.
Pure vanilla was the only cookie who deserved kindness anyway.
Shadow milk did not just think of that stupid, idiotic thing in his head, nope. Just a moment of weakness that showed she had spent way too much time around her moronic, truthful counterpart. “Yeah sure friends yada yada yada. Now go on and tell me about something about yourself that doesn't include that lily cookie. You can't, so ask me something since I'm feeling very nice tonight.” They said floating right in front of the blonde tirelessly so, trying to ignore their crashed train of thoughts for as long as they could and was possible; while in fact not feeling very nice about anything at all after having crash outs after one another.
“You do know she's no more than a platonic companion to me, right shadow milk?” She said. Shadow milk could swear there was a mocking tone hidden in her question as if to say, why are you being such a loser about someone you hate just because of me? Why would they care anyway? She only hated white lily just because she was trying to be the two-faced, liar, deceitful cookie; who shadow milk already was and had been for eons. Shadow milk was the original, the first one to commit the sin of deceit and she was absolutely nothing compared to him. They were better, the best actually and they were supposed to be the only one, yet it wasn't enough. He knew that wasn't what was bugging him.
“Then why did you leave me, vanilly?” His tone was serious, pure vanilla looked petrified as her eyes were shut open even though there wasn't much they could see. The blonde closed his eyes again as his hold on his orchid staff became tighter. “Well you rejected me… my offer I mean.” He said. It was obvious now that they didn't know what shadow milk meant, the blue haired cookie scoffed for a brief second and then began to cackle, loudly and madly. The idiocy of the other cookie never failed to amaze her, “How am I in the shape of a jester when I'm in your presence, your majesty.” she said and faked a bow in the air, wiping away tears which she couldn't tell whether or not they were from laughter.
How could they stop laughing, they had their entire life flipped over because of believing a few words they were never supposed to believe and look where that got them; they had become the toy of mockery they desperately wanted pure vanilla to become. “Truthless recluse. Back when you were him I mean, you silly cookie. You tricked me, maybe it was to teach me a lesson but let me tell you I've never felt any remorse for what I've done and that has not changed.”
The cookie of deceit putting all she had, all of the breath in her lungs to tell the truth was a rare sight to see. Rare was an understatement since it had never happened before, maybe it was the tricks of pure vanilla cookie yet shadow milk knew there wasn't any. “Now tell me, why would anyone want to befriend me? I am the embodiment of deceit and that will never change for the better of anyone but myself. I'll remain this way as long as—”
The words were stuck in her throat when she felt a tightness around her waist, she wanted to fight the touch back because she thought it was out of pity. “You don't need to change for me to be your friend, it's friendship that brings change and most times it's to both parties.” The blonde said, embracing the cookie that had done not much other than torment them with nightmares, false memories, and words. He was still hopeful, for shadow milk to just try, try and be kind towards everything that brought her down to her demise.
They touched their face and were met with moistness they hadn't noticed before that they had been crying without realizing for quite some minutes. She slowly hugged the other cookie back and laid her head on their shoulder, as tears ran down uncontrollably and quietly. After a few minutes, she finally found the voice to speak again; “I won't change. They tried to change me, they stripped me from all I loved and cared for and I still didn't change.” Their voice was extremely low and quiet, unlike their usual way of speaking. He was not sad about his inability to change, not at all. What he was tired of however, was being unable to be mad at her for too long. Even after their fight she went back to pure vanilla; sure she said that she went back to bother her but who knew whether or not the beast of deceit could lie to herself?
“Change shouldn't be a necessity for anyone to love you or be kind to you, shadow milk.” Pure vanilla said as they caressed his hair softly and ever so carefully, as if he was a baby and would wake up with any out of place movement. “If one loves another, they would accept them the way they are. Some changes are necessary, sure but they wouldn't change the affection held between the pair.”
He definitely had a way with words, maybe if he had said those earlier that day shadow milk would've folded. “You… I hate that…” She let go of the blonde and looked him in the eyes, they had the kind of light in them she had never seen in any other cookie's eyes. “You can't see me correctly but I want you to know I hate that…. kindness of yours while directly looking into your eyes.”
Pure vanilla chuckled, suddenly they looked like they were shining again but shadow milk was far too mesmerized to look away, to even blink and miss even a second of that closeness, that radiance and what words lied beneath their expression. “Hate it all you want, dear.it all you want. Nothing would make me not want to be your friend, no difference of opinion, not even the harsh words you use for me, not even if they're the absolute truth.”
It was all idiotic and not planned. Shadow milk hated when things didn't go according to the plan he had in mind and despite all of that, he fueled the fire. She kissed them on the lips, 4 straight minutes without even trying to breathe. When she backed away, the blush on pure vanilla's face was priceless. Yet seeing them, shadow milk blushed as well because they looked even prettier than usual with the light pink across their face.
“I fucking hate you, pure vanilla, cookie of truth or whatever compassionate shit you are!” Shadow milk said, then disappeared from the vanilla kingdom, just to appear in the middle of his own house or whatever it was he didn't want to bother calling it.
“Shadow milk cookie?”
That was when she realised she was not in her own room, she was in the halls and right in front of her two devoted companions and who called her name was of course no other than candy apple cookie and she didn't look happy about the blush on her face. “Are you okay, my master?”
How were they going to explain all that had happened?