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You don’t have a single good memory of him, do you?
Sanji sat alone, looking out of the window as the rain began pouring. He looked out wishing the rain would stop. He sighed deeply tugging as his hair, closing his eyes shut as he screamed.
“Crap!” He swore, tugging harder at his hair. He couldn’t get the memories out of his head, the memories of his past that was eating him alive every moment he was here on this hell of an island forced to merry a women he barely knew. He cried, letting the memories swept him away to his darkest thoughts. The painful words his brothers and father used on him. He shook his head.
Failure. Worthless. Pathetic. Useless.
Sanji kept feeding those memories alive by believing they were true. Believing that he was all of those words, that he was replaceable. Memories of his youth when he faced Judge always haunted him, the way Judge looked down on him, how he used to look at him with disgust and shame. The memories of Judge and his cruel words had been creating a hole in his very soul, the memories still remaining inside him for 13 long painful years. Now Sanji sat there awaiting his end as it should be; he deserved to die if it means an end to those memories. Just this once could fate grant him his final wish, to die with a smile.
Pudding pulls the gun towards his head. He had a good life. A rich life. He closed his eyes awaiting his turn to become nonexistent. As he closed his eyes flashes of images appeared through his mind. Precious memories that were filled with joy, love and happiness. All of the memories that were buried deep down under all that darkness.
“Would you cook for me again?” His mother asked with a smile, a warm smile. Little Sanji beamed a bigger smile, nodding his head as he hugged his mother.
“You share the same dream as me… Sanji… keep your feet dry” Zeff called out to him. “Sanji! More meat… Sanji! Cook for me, please!” Luffy called for him. All of these memories were different, those memories were coming from people who loved him. He remembers the hugs, the kisses on the head. The smiles and the laughter. He remembers the memories of living. To be alive. So maybe, just maybe not all of the memories were bad Sanji thought as a gunshot reverberated in the air.