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Every single night they came. Thomas couldn’t escape. The endless, recurring nightmares that plagued his sleep. This night, things were particularly bad. Everything had been fine earlier, Thomas had been sat with Minho at the weekly bonfire when he took himself to bed.
The evening was calm and Thomas had slept well throughout the previous week, he had hoped that this night would be the same, but luck wasn’t on his side. There he stood, breathing heavily, trembling and numb in front of Newt’s unconscious body.
The world around him stilled, nothing existed anymore.
“Tommy?” A voice called to him.
‘Just wake up. It will go away.’ He told himself.
“Tommy?” The voice was louder now.
‘Wake up, wake up!’
“Thomas!”
Thomas awoke to find himself laid down in his bed once more.
Newt sat beside him with his hands on Thomas’s shoulders, shaking him. “Tommy? Are you there?”
“Yeah..” Thomas mumbled weakly. He was half aware that he was still trembling but he couldn’t think straight
Newt sighed and stopped shaking Thomas, looking into his eyes sadly. “Nightmares get ya again?”
“Mhm.” Thomas sat up and Newt let his hands fall from the boy’s shoulders.
“I thought you’d stopped having them.”
Thomas looked away and frowned.
He had told Newt that he was getting better a couple of weeks ago, but it had been a lie. Truthfully, in the past few days he had experienced way less nightmares than usual but overall, he was still struggling mentally. He didn’t want Newt to know that though, it wasn’t his job to help Thomas, he didn’t need that burden.
Thomas wiped away some tears and smiled at Newt,
“How are you feeling?” He asked, hinting about Newt’s recovery from the flare.
The blonde boy shrugged, “Not feeling ill anymore, just strange mood swings still.”
“Good that, glad to see at least one of us is recovering.”
Thomas meant it as a joke but Newt looked worried, “Tommy, you know that I’m always here to talk, ‘kay? I’ll always have time for you, especially if it means we can get rid of those nightmares.”
Thomas knew that Newt had kind intentions, but he felt slightly bitter.
How come he was the only one experiencing the nightly terrors? No one else seemed affected by their pasts in the same way he was. Thomas looked at his hands and shrugged, “Guess so.”
Newt patted him on the back and stood up to leave, but Thomas grabbed his wrist.
“Hm?” Newt looked at Thomas quizzically which made the brunette already regret what he wanted to ask.
“Do you, uhm, think…”
“Spit it out Tommy.” Newt laughed and sat back down which put Thomas’s nerves at ease.
“Could you stay the night? I don’t want to get caught up in my bad dreams on my own..” this wasn’t the first time Thomas had asked this but he still felt nervous. He looked down but felt Newt’s eyes on his face.
“Of course, Tommy.” Newt said softly and smiled.
Thomas nodded and turned back onto his side in an attempt to return to sleep. Minutes later, Newt pulled himself under the covers behind Thomas and laid next to him silently. With Newt’s presence grounding him, Thomas finally allowed sleep to take him once more.
A dark tunnel, Cranks clawing at metal cages, armed officers watching everything intently. Thomas remembered more than the others, but he wished he didn’t. His father’s last sane moments, his mother’s broken face, they haunted him.
Thomas drifted in and out of consciousness as he laid in bed, but every time a rush of anxiety and adrenaline consumed him, he felt Newt rub him on the back and whisper,
“You’re safe. We’re safe.” His calm voice soothed Thomas like an infant with a lullaby and he easily relaxed himself.
Newt knew that the best thing for helping Thomas was to let him fight on his own. Ever since they arrived at the haven, a few months ago, Thomas had been attacking himself mentally almost every night. Newt was the only person who Thomas had told and also the only person who knew what he needed.
He had learnt early on that unless Thomas was in a bad state, for example sweating, crying, shaking or choking, then it was best he was left alone otherwise he got spooked. Newt however did attempt to help Thomas in his battles from the sidelines.
Whether it was the words of affirmation or the casual physical touch, his attempts to soothe Thomas before he reached his worst worked often and helped both of them sleep somewhat peacefully. This night, however, wasn’t the case.
Newt kept himself half awake like usual, occasionally calming Thomas, but he started shaking again.
“Tommy..” Newt murmured next to Thomas’s ear. No response. Then, Thomas started breathing heavily and Newt could hear the boy choking on small sobs.
“Oh, Tommy..” Newt sat up and made Thomas lie straight on his back, “come on, calm it.” A whimper was his only reply. Newt had no clue what Thomas was going through and didn’t even dare to fathom what he was reliving, but it was definitely worse tonight.
“Tommy?” Newt shook his shoulder hard.
Thomas cried out and grabbed Newt’s arm roughly.
“Tommy!” Newt yelped in surprise as the sleeping boy clung onto his arms for dear life.
“Thomas!” Newt shouted into Thomas’s ear, making him finally bolt upright.
Thomas stared into space and loosened his grip on Newt, allowing the blonde to slip away.
“Tommy what did you see?”
Thomas’s eyes were glassy and unfocused but they gained a subtle gleam when he looked at Newt.
“You’re alive.” He choked and held his stomach, “I feel sick.”
Newt was confused but he quickly jumped up and pulled Thomas to his feet, “Let’s get you to a bucket.” He ushered Thomas to the small on-suite his room had and sat him beside an unused pail. He rubbed Thomas’s back while he emptied his stomach.
“Bloody hell,” Newt breathed, “Tommy, what did you see?”
“..Noth..ing..”
“Well you definitely saw something. Talk.”
Thomas sighed and let Newt wipe his mouth with a rag.
“I saw my parents, then Chuck. After, I saw you in the Glade and you were…”
“What?”
“Climbing the maze wall.”
“Oh.”
“I-“ Thomas’s voice broke, “I saw everything and couldn’t help. Then I saw you fall, after my mind cut to the last city and you as a Crank.”
Newt was anxious because Thomas had been dreaming about his attempt but he snapped out of his melancholy demeanour and smiled gently, “I’m here with you now, Tommy. Don’t feel sad.”
“Sorry.”
“And don’t apologise either, shuck face.” Newt pulled Thomas into a hug and cradled his head.“We’re safe. Let’s get you back to sleep, eh?”
Thomas didn’t say a word as he let Newt steady him and guide him back to his bed. He curled into a fetal position, staring into space. He only regained awareness of his surroundings when he felt Newt’s arms slide around him and pull him into a close embrace, “Newt..?”
“Maybe this will help ya shank.” Newt murmured into Thomas’s hair.
Thomas froze, unsure of what to do, but Newt squeezed him gently, “Try and rest up, mate, okay?” With Newt’s voice laced with tiredness and affection, Thomas allowed his eyes to close.
“Attempt to let your mind wander,” Newt continued, “dream of the beach, of the night sky. Or even just the smile of a friend. Distract yourself.”
Newt was whispering but his voice filled the room with a sense of calm. Thomas hummed and settled his nerves. Clear images filled up Thomas’s mind as he followed Newt’s advice.
He pictured the lulling, repetitive crash of the waves as they lapped at the sand on the beach. He imagined how the moon looked in that moment, glowing beautifully in the sea of inky blackness around it. He thought of a certain smile.
A smile that seemed to light up every room. Kind, shining eyes. Golden hair. The last thing that crossed Thomas’s mind before he slept was Newt.