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I found myself in a familiar scene.
It took place in a concert, or what was left of it.
Debris from the attack is all over what remains of this concert hall.
And there she was, a girl who risked her life to protect me.
She sang her song then she disappeared along with the monsters.
I could barely comprehend how it happened.
It would've ended there, but... "no..."
Those... Monsters... The "Noise"...
They're... Still alive...
The Noise begin to approach me.
Fright consumes me as I feel powerless towards their slow death march.
Good thing it was only a nightmare.
I had woken up. I see my pale blue room.
I'm still sleepy, I didn't want to leave my bed.
And yet, "Hibiki! Breakfast is ready...." Mom yelled from the ground floor.
Despite everything, I don't want to go through the day on an empty stomach.
It's very important for a growing girl like me.
I slowly went downstairs to see Mom and Grandma near the table with breakfast ready.
Before I could step inside the dining room, a brick broke through the window, shattering it.
All of us, frightened, got away from the window until the coast was clear.
The note on the brick said "Thieves" on it.
Grandma began to clean the glass as my mother invited me to eat.
It was just another person playing "Let's throw notes at the Tachibana's!"
It was Grandma's turn this time to clean. Next time would be Mom's turn.
We ate breakfast silently. Sadly, I could not taste anything.
Soon, I prepared myself for school and left the house.
The outer wall of our house is plastered with paper, repeating "Thieves" and "Criminals" all over.
Someone must really like to play-artist around our house.
I silently walk to school.
The neighborhood is quiet and its deafening.
"...Don't worry, it's going to be okay!" I tell myself.
These are magic words that will help me through the day.
Or else I may break into pieces.
But no one wants to clean messes, so I keep myself whole.
I stare at the large concrete block that is my school.
I feel small in its presence.
Making me feel smaller the more I stare at it.
But I muster up the courage to enter this gray box.
As soon as I enter, I can feel them.
Those piercing stares.
All over me, I wonder why are they staring at me.
Must have been something I have done!
Although, I don't think I did anything bad...
I pause that thought as soon as I reach my classroom on the second floor.
The normal noise of people being together is ever present.
They ignored my presence as I walked to my table.
And on my table lies more of the same graffiti all over it.
This time they added “Monster” to it.
It’s as though they are playing a game with me.
And I am the punching bag.
I have to clean it before our teacher comes.
Last time I told the teacher about it, my bag was destroyed after P.E.
At least my house had more bricks to build a new flowerbed!
Eventually, I was able to remove most of the words and leave only random lines.
The teachers might wonder about it but I don’t want things to explode again.
Class begins as I finish janitor work.
"..." First period passes.
"......" Second period passes..
"........." Third period passes...
Nothing is entering my head.
I'm no model student but I really need to pass midterms.
Or else I won't be able to get to high school, and then college, and then get a good job.
Would they even accept someone so useless like me?
I don't have good grades in anything.
I don't even go to any club. Go home club for life!
I'm only good for eating all the food on my plate and being the punching bag.
"....-achiba-..." It would be nice to connect people through words.
They could finally tell me what I did wrong!
But even then, how would that happen? hahaha.
"...Tachibana." I wonder if actions can help in communication?
Like helping people? Or maybe I could sing?
Nah, that's too much, hahaha-
"Tachibana."
"WAHHH I-I'M SORRY!?"
"...Tachibana, I've been calling you to solve this problem, can you please do it?"
"Y-Yes?!" I replied without thinking.
I got up to the whiteboard and stood still at the problem in front of me.
It's math. Algebra, I think?
Even if I did listen, I couldn't solve the problem...
Why are there letters in this? How do I solve this?
Uh... Uh... Uhmmm....
"...Is it this, teacher...?"
"No, that's not how you solve it. Please listen next time, Tachibana."
"Yes, teacher..." I sighed dejectedly.
I walk back to my seat as my classmates whisper to themselves.
...Of course she couldn't solve something as simple as that.
...Serves you right, thief.
...Senpai died and yet she had to live? Ugh...
I sat quietly in my chair and class continued as normal.
As if nothing had ever happened.
Nothing different happened.
The bell rang, signifying the end of classes.
I got up from my seat and went to the stairs.
"Hey, Tachibana." I hear a voice behind me.
The stairs are right in front of me.
I only stood still as they approached me.
They tapped my shoulder, bracing myself.
"Tachibana, sensei asked me to give these handouts since you didn't get them."
"Wha- Ah, Uh... Sure, thanks..."I immediately took the papers and briskly went down the stairs.
Nothing notable happened as I went back home.
The sky was a mix of a deep orange near the sunset and a dark violet in the center.
There were a few thin strips of pink clouds. There are no stars to be seen in the sky.
It's a strange mix but the colors seem to complement each other.
The sun’s dark orange light is dim, as though it has been weakened.
I wonder when it will shine brightly again?
Looking up in the deep violet sky, I feel as though it will come down and take me away from here.
It would honestly be nice, but I don't think that can ever happen.
"...Please."
"I'm home..." I whisper as I enter the house.
I hear Grandma and Mom talking in the dining room.
"What are we to do about money, darling?" Grandma asked Mom.
"We still have some savings to get by, but even with Government subsidies, we may not have enough money for the coming years," replied Mom.
"How about I take care of Hibiki and you can find a job? You know that I have taken care of children, even up to their adulthood!" Grandma preaches proudly.
"Sigh, if only Akira didn't leave, we should have gone through this together…" Answered Mom.
Don’t worry, everything will be all right. Dad… I-
I suddenly lost my appetite. Actually, I feel like vomiting.
I quickly and quietly walked past the dining room door and went straight to my room.
I sit down on my bed. Today was a full day.
I suppose I could listen to music-
I’m tired.
So tired that I fell on my bed.
I can't move. I can't move.
No matter what my brain tells my body,
It can't move.
A heavy feeling settles in.
No, not again.
All day I never once thought about it.
Please don't remind me.
But I can't stop the thoughts from flowing in.
It's all my fault. I know it is.
Had I not gone to that concert... Then this would never have happened.
I would not have suffered, my family would not have suffered.
I would still have had the safest house ever. I would still have a normal school life.
But no, that's not what happened...
People are so scary. They can make you happy but also crush your heart.
They can hurt you physically, mentally, and socially. It's suffocating.
They did this because of what I have that they do not.
They say that I stole their money.
They say that I didn't deserve to survive.
They say that I'm not worth the government's priority.
They say that I got all this for free, for enjoying myself at the concert.
No matter how many times they say it, I can't get used to it.
They all continue to pierce me as long as I can breathe.
If they have anyone to blame... They should have blamed the Noise...
The Noise... Why did they appear... Why do we have to suffer because of them...
They are like natural disasters. We cannot control them.
They are monsters who appear and only disappear when they carbonize a human.
Leaving only carbon behind. An instant death.
We don't know where they come from, nor do we know how they appear all over the world.
But we do know that they cause a lot of trouble.
So much so that everyone fears that an attack may occur near where they live.
Blaming them is like blaming an earthquake for destroying your house,
Your house is in the way of the earthquake, it's all natural processes, I think.
The Noise is like that, but it's more supernatural than natural.
They know that. So, they blame me instead.
But what can I blame?
Blame on the Noise all I want, I'm still the one who went to that concert.
I'm still the reason why everyone acts this way.
But what can I even do about that fact?! They are mad at me that I lived...
Why are people like this?? No matter what, I still don't understand that.
I don't think that I can't worry.
I don't think that it's going to be okay.
I don't think that there's a solution to this.
Why can't we talk it out? Why can't we understand each other?
Why do I have to suffer like this?!
I'm sorry, okay?! I am sorry. I am deeply sorry.
So please, please stop this.
I'm sorry that I wanted to have fun. I'm sorry that I still exist I'm sorry that I never lived up to standards Im sorry that I am your daughter Im sorry Im sorry Im
I can't take it anymore.
If the Noise appeared right now. It would be fine. Actually, I would welcome it.
Oh, hello, Noise-san! Glad that you came to see me!
You're such a tall blue thing! Your wide hands seem like they're ready to high five.
Me too! I welcome you with open arms.
Come come, I won't bite! I'm completely harmless!
You don't see any weapons on these free hands, right?
Why don't we finish what we started last year?
So that we can both disappear together?
So that we can stop thinking.
So that we stop feeling.
So that I stop suffering.
So that I can finally di-
Suddenly, I feel hot. Something is happening.
I smell metal. Natural yet unnatural.
The sound of gears turning. Mechanics of a system.
It feels like music. Fusion of the senses.
Music is flowing in my blood. Fuel for my heart.
What is happening to me?
And yet… "HEY!" This harmony feels familiar.
It’s a melodious ensemble –
"DON'T GIVE UP ON LIVING!"
– of the moment that changed everything.
I wake up. Cold sweat covers my body as I rise from my bed.
My room is stained in a darky, navy blue.
Apparently it's been a while since I came back from school.
I feel a heavy headache and I am exhausted.
"She sang to me once again..."
Don't give up on living... This was said by that girl who saved me in the concert.
She sang beautifully in their performance and in battle.
I'm forgetting her name now but I remember that they were a duo.
I wonder how the other is doing-
Actually, whatever.
That doesn't matter right now.
Why should I care about them?
Why should I even bother?!
No one cares about me, so why should I?!
What even is the point in life anymore-
My phone rings.
I had forgotten to bring it to school earlier.
I check it and I see that the caller is...
"Miku..."
She had sent a bunch of messages.
She must have been worried for me.
"...Hi, Miku." I picked up the video call.
"Hibiki! Are you all right?" Miku replied.
"...Yes, I'm all right. I'm at my house."
She gasped, "You look like a mess, are you sure you're alright?" Miku pressed on.
"Ahhh... Well, I just woke up from a nap, haha..."
She sighed, "Well then why weren't you answering my messages earlier? I was worried sick."
"Sorry sorry! I forgot my phone today."
"Mouuu... Hibiki, you're such a clutz! You know that?!"
"Haha, I said sorry already,
"And hey, you seem to be a bit energetic for someone who was sick for a week."
"Well, that's because I got better today hehe, we'll be going to school together again tomorrow, Hibiki."
"Glad that you're okay, Miku. Oh yeah, how's the Track and Field training?"
"Hahaha... Don't remind me of that, but otherwise it was doing well, but then I got sick..."
"Miku, you always push yourself, haha."
"Says you, haha."
"Oh yeah, I want to ask, can I please ask for help in studying?"
"Asking me for help even when I'm the one that's absent?"
"Pleaseee Miku, I really need to pass this midterms."
"Hmmm, I don't think I will."
"Aaauuuuu, Mikuuuuuu" :<
"Hehe, sorry sorry, I think I can help you."
"R-really?!"
"Yeah, I'll ask some friends for notes of lectures that I missed,
"It would be a nice way to catch up on my studying. All right then Hibiki,
"Tomorrow is a Saturday, so let's start tomorrow after our morning classes. Okay?"
"Hm! Okay. Thanks Miku.”
“You’re welcome, Hibiki-
“Ah, you seem tired.”
“Haha, yeah, I am, I think I’m gonna go back to bed.”
“Oh… Okay…”
“Good night, Miku!" :>
"Hm, good night, Hibiki."
The call ends there.
I almost forgot that I have Miku.
Even after the accident, she stayed as an important friend.
"I'm glad that she cares..."
I've always been thankful for that.
I wonder if... she knows that…
I fell asleep as the fatigue overwhelmed me.