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Mitsuki and Aya have been friends for almost a year now. It's funny how from being interested with Mitsuki, whom Aya thought was a guy at first, and solving such misunderstanding in a very unique way, to becoming close friends of each other and sharing the same hobbies and their love for music.
Throughout their time together, lots of rumours started circling around them such as dating rumours and the likes. They didn't pay any attention to those rumours and instead, continued doing their own thing and enjoying each other's company.
For Aya's first birthday with Mitsuki, they decided to go out and buy expensive matching rings together. They even went to this popular and newly opened coffee shop around their area.
For Mitsuki's birthday, they decided to buy matching necklaces with each other's initials and they wore both proudly everywhere they went, refusing to remove them.
Despite everything, they keep claiming that they feel nothing for each other than being a trusted friend for the other. Such claims made not only by the people who knew them, but also their closest friends, pulled their hair out of frustration. They do couple things together, they share everything with one another, they're always together almost 24/7 inside or outside school, and they're also obviously in love with each other. How could they say they're just friends?
Deep down, though, even Aya knows that what she and Mitsuka have is far from the word “friends” just like how they claimed it to be. She knows, but is refusing to speak anything about it because if anything, she's scared to lose those privileges that Mitsuki has been giving her all these time. She's scared that if she brings the topic of dating, or anything related to romance, to Mitsuki, she'll disappear and leave her. She feels insecure and scared that if Mitsuki ever senses her true feelings for her, she'll run away from her.
Yes, Aya likes Mitsuki. No, scratch that. She LOVES her. More than anything, more than anyone, more than her music. From the very first time she saw her in the recording shop, where she thought she was a guy. And when she decided to go up on the stage and sing her a song despite hating being the center of attention. Whenever they're together, hanging out, inside the recording shop without any care for the world. She loves her, and that is something she'll always bury deep inside of her heart. On Mitsuki's side, who knows if Mitsuki feels the same way knowing how she is with everyone. Sure, she treats Aya well, better than how she treats the rest. But what if she's just like that because she really saw Aya as her only trusted friend? What if she's also like that to everyone, and Aya just couldn't see it because she's too busy looking at Mitsuki and Mitsuki alone?
Every now and then, Aya will joke around Mitsuki that she's her girlfriend and that she shouldn't look around for somebody else anymore and Mitsuki would laugh at it and jokingly will agree to her without even knowing that Aya means her words. That Aya hopes everything she says can just magically turn into reality, but they're in the real world. Magic doesn't exist.
One day, they had a serious conversation about being in a serious relationship with someone.
Mitsuki: I can't see myself being in any sort of romantic relationship with someone.
Aya: Why is that?
Mitsuki: I'm not really sure myself? Maybe because I have better things to prioritize? Like my music, Uncle's recording shop, school, you know?
Aya, despite feeling disappointed and hurt inside, remained the cheerful smile on her lips.
Aya: I see! I can totally see you being a person who prioritizes their career and loved ones first than anything.
Mitsuki: Right. How about you, Oosawa-san?
Aya: M-me? Well…
Surprised by the sudden attention being given to her, she blushed and nervously laughed, thinking about how to answer Mitsuki so she wouldn't notice her feelings for her.
Aya: I don't really have any thoughts about things like that for now. I mean, I'm enjoying my life right now already. Being with you and the rest, enjoying music, doing things that I like, and stuff. So I haven't really thought of being in a relationship with anyone right now.
Mitsuki: Hmm… Make sense. Whoever you'll end up with, Oosawa-san, will surely be lucky to have you as his girlfriend. I mean you're pretty, kind, and just the epitome of a love song.
‘his?’ yeah, right! As if Aya would ever fall for a guy when she already got her Koga-san beside her. Despite every bitterness inside, Aya answered her with enthusiasm.
Aya: Koga-san you're really great with saying sweet words to others huh?
Mitsuki: But I'm telling the truth!
Aya: Sure, sure!
After such conversation, they ended up laughing and teasing each other like usual and having deep talks about Nirvana and other bands that they love while listening to their never ending playlist that they made together.
Few months later, Aya saw Mitsuki with another girl. She noticed after that that the time they're together started decreasing while the times she saw Mitsuki with said girl started increasing as well. Aya doesn't recognize who the girl is, but she started noticing her more in the hallways, and later on seeing her inside the recording shop, as if telling her that it's no longer her and Mitsuki's sacred place anymore, but theirs.
Despite everything, Aya continued acting as if nothing's wrong and that she's fine with everything, but deep down? Her insecurities and thoughts of losing Mitsuki start eating her mind causing her endless anxiety and irrational fear. Even her closest friends noticed that something's wrong but didn't meddle more because they don't want to force Aya to open up but willingly tell them things herself.
Mitsuki was still wearing their matching rings and necklaces, but in Aya's eyes, it feels like she's no longer the Koga-san she used to know. That she's no longer HER Mitsuki alone. And she hates it. She hates how she wants to monopolize Mitsuki's love and attention despite wanting her to be more social and have more friends. She hates that out of all people, she hates seeing her smile to others but wanting to see her being happy and discovering more things she'll enjoy with others. And lastly, she hates herself for falling in love with her. But despite these thoughts, her unconditional support for Mitsuki remains. So she never voiced out her thoughts, as well her jealousy. At the end of the day, she's just a friend. Nothing more, nothing less.
One day, Aya decided to go home early, and alone. Usually, Mitsuki will go home with her but since she's with her new girl best friend, Aya decided to not disturb her anymore. She's used to walking home alone even before meeting Mitsuki to begin with. But still, she can't help but feel lonely without her.
While spacing out, she unconsciously stopped walking in the middle of the road when she noticed Mitsuki and the other girl walking and laughing across the street. She didn't even notice the car rushing because she's so busy having her eyes look at Mitsuki alone. She only snapped out of it when she noticed that there's already blood on her vision and a few seconds later, her eyes started feeling heavy making her lose consciousness. Not knowing nor even hearing Mitsuki calling and crying out her name.
Aya was announced dead on arrival for too much blood loss and severe head injury while the driver of the car was discovered drunk driving and didn't notice the red stoplight nor Aya resulting in him killing a civilian, killing Aya.
The whole time, Mitsuki was quiet. Not even a sob can be heard from her nor a tear can be seen in her eyes. She was just there, sitting and looking at Aya's dead body. Her last memory of Aya keeps repeating in her mind endlessly.
Her bloody figure and her disoriented eyes looking at her. Her innocent face, which Mitsuki will never get tired of staring at, is covered in blood. Her lips slowly mouthing, “I love you, Mitsuki.” and smiling for the last time.
Mitsuki watched the song in her heart, the only person who became her light, dimmed and disappeared right in front of her. In her arms.
She stood up from where she was sitting and walked aimlessly to wherever. The thought of not being able to see Aya's sparkling eyes whenever she saw or heard of something she loves, not being able to hear her voice which she considered the most beautiful music in the universe, her soft and kind smile whenever she's looking at her, her touch, how she would always dress up not for anyone but herself, how she loves having her nails done, and just everything about her, feels like Mitsuki's being killed every second of the day.
She loves her. From the very first time she saw her enter her uncle's shop, she's already endlessly and unconditionally loving her. She thought that there's no way someone like Aya will ever love someone as plain as her. That she's just being kind towards her, and she's just like that with everyone else. How would she see what Aya truly feels about her if she's too busy hiding her deepening feelings for her?
She subconsciously reached out for her neck, feeling the cold metal around it. She touched the necklace that she bought with Aya, and Aya's ring on it. She remembers how the nurse handed her Aya's ring and necklace to her. She decided to put Aya's ring on her necklace and asked the nurse to keep the necklace on Aya's body.
They also gave her Aya's phone and noticed it doesn't have any passcode aside the fingerprint locked built in it. She used her fingerprint, which Aya asked her to put in her phone, to unlock it. The first thing that she saw was their picture together, playing with cats, as Aya's wallpaper.
A tear started falling from her eyes when she opened her gallery noticing that she even made an album dedicated to their pictures and videos together. She stared at every single picture on the album and watched every video just to see Aya's smile and hear her voice once again. Once she's done, she saw her notes and decided to open it after thinking about it for a few minutes.
She saw that Aya put almost everything about her feelings on her notes and read every single one of them. Each entry made her realize how much she actually didn't know anything about Aya, her one and only favorite song.
Loving her had become the norm for Mitsuki to the point she didn't realize she stopped listening to her music, which is Aya, just plainly admiring her that she missed knowing Aya more. She read how much Aya loves her as much as she does, up to how her insecurities were eating her when Aya saw her with someone else. The final words on her latest entry turned Mitsuki into a crying mess because what Aya wrote there was right. She hates to admit it, but what can she do if it's true?
She cried and cried on who knows where and mumbling nonstop the words, “I'm sorry” and “I love you too” while sitting on the ground, burying her face on her knees, wishing to see Aya one last time while the last part of Aya's letter never leaves her mind. It says:
“I love Mitsuki. I love her so much but at the end of the day, I'm nothing but her friend. And it'll always be like that, until the day I die.”
And just like what Aya said, she did die as Mitsuki's friend. Without even knowing how much she's being loved by her as well.