Chapter Text
Sometimes Shuu dreamed of him.
It varied each time. Sometimes it was simply in shards of memory, broken mirrors of his own psyche. Sometimes it was different: even in the most surreal of them, though, Shuu could always find him when he was there. He couldn't mistake Dr. Kawara for anyone else.
His foolishness, curiosity, distractability, unflappable nature, irresponsibility, kindness... genius: Dr. Kawara had a number of traits Shuu couldn't stand, and yet embodied so much of what he wanted to be. It pained something strange inside him, something he doubted could be found on physical examination, to think of Dr. Kawara; he felt this from no one else. Perhaps, he thought, this was the metaphorical “heart,” or at least what was left of his; maybe there were too many emotions, too many things he never learned...
...and too many promises unfulfilled.
It had been one day. That morning, the doctors had removed the bullets left over from Hitori's assault. Shuu had hoped that the remains of the anesthetic would leave him too dazed to think; he needed a break, after all that had happened. He nearly got his wish; however, there was one thought that broke through over and over again.
He had failed. He had permanently, irreparably failed.
Shuu had hoped it was just a side effect of the medication; however, it taunted him even after he regained full control of his mental faculties. Nothing else seemed to matter anymore. Even when forcing himself to think about his next steps, it always came back around to his inability to grant Dr. Kawara's dying wish.
Eventually, the biological need for sleep overcame him, much to his relief.
It took a moment for Shuu to recognize where he awoke, but he recognized it as being the LiSciRe laboratory. He got up from the ground and looked around; the lights were on and the door was open, but he was alone. The hall seemed to be dark. Was anyone else even in the building?
A strange noise, like that of a frog but in stereo, came from the doorway. Shuu looked at the floor and found a creature he thought had been destroyed years prior: one of the frogs that he and Dr. Kawara had performed “eewoowoo” on. Of course it had sounded strange; the frog had produced its ribbit from both the front and back of its head. Shuu approached the mutated frog in order to pick it up, interested in learning more about the survival of this subject for so long, but the frog leapt out of his reach and turned right as it left the lab. He grumbled, but decided to see what else was in this iteration of Takaba Labs.
The hall was lit, but dimly. A glance to the left showed an endless hall flanked with doors, presumably to other laboratories; a truly endless hallway seemed fascinating to Shuu, and he started to turn to the left...
“Ribbit.”
Shuu turned around to see the frog, jumping up and down about five meters down the right side of the hall. A precious specimen; perhaps he could catch that thing this time. The endless hallway could wait for later examination. He approached it somewhat more quickly than the last time, but again it evaded him. As he righted himself, the mutant frog hopped a bit further down the hall. Despite the frustration, he felt compelled to capture the creature; thus, this continued over and over again, the frog seeming to lead him down the hall.
After nine or ten more iterations of this cycle, the mutated frog stopped in front of a closed door and started jumping up and down, making strange noises; it jumped onto Shuu's shoulder as soon as he was close enough. He recognized this door: it was the LiSciRe head's office. Dr. Kawara's name was on the door's nameplate. Was this going to be another dream where he appeared? All Shuu could do was admit his failure and beg for forgiveness. Noticing that there was light coming from the door's window, he knocked on the door and, when he heard no answer, opened the door.
The office was exactly as it had been when Dr. Kawara had been the department head, with the same piles of paperwork to be done, a computer, and a ridiculous assortment of souvenirs from various science-related trips he had been on. However, all the rest of the space on the desk, as well as the computer's keyboard, was covered in cut flowers; flowers spilled down to the floor on all visible sides. This difference intrigued Shuu, who shut the door, went to the desk, and started examining the flowers; they seemed to be predominantly alstroemeria, with purple pansies and several daffodils scattered in.
While Shuu was looking at the flowers, the door swung open and someone peeked in. A familiar voice said, “Oh, it's Isa-kun... and a lot of flowers, too! Where'd you get all of those?”
Shuu froze. “Dr. Ka--” He whipped around to see himself alone, the door swinging shut just as he looked back. After a moment, he turned back to the flowers. All of them had wilted.
Shuu startled awake. Although he found himself breathing hard and with a somewhat fast heartbeat, it didn't seem on the surface like anything scary had even occurred in the dream. Indeed, most of it had been spent chasing a science experiment. Something got under his skin about the last section, however. He didn't think it was the flowers, even with them wilting when given the slightest chance.
“Dr. Iwamine?”
He put on his glasses and looked to the door to see a nurse standing in the doorway. “Yes?”
“I just wanted to check in on you; your heart rate just shot up for a minute or two and--”
“A dream.”
“That's all?”
He nodded.
“Well, I'm glad to know that's all it was. Good night.” With that, the nurse walked away.
As the nurse vanished from view, it finally occurred to Shuu what it had been: Dr. Kawara's seemingly instantaneous arrival and departure from the room. Dr. Kawara had never been one to sit in one place for too long, so him showing up and flitting out shortly after wasn't a strange sight when he was around. That said, Shuu hadn't even seen him. In real life, he would have chalked it up to lack of sleep and even less coffee. In a dream, though, anything imaginable by the mind was possible. He even had to consider that which he thought was absurd in real life, such as ghosts. He wouldn't be able to sleep until he figured it out.
Hours later, the sun had begun to rise and shed its light on Littledove Hachiman City. As expected, Shuu hadn't fallen asleep, and had one idea about the dream left. Was it not Dr. Kawara at all? Was it just the memories Shuu had of him given voice? That was a good explanation, given that the only sign he had seen of another individual entering the room was the door swinging shut when he had looked toward Dr. Kawara's voice.
Perhaps that was for the best, Shuu thought. The mere sound of Dr. Kawara's voice had evoked a strong reaction. The presence of the man himself... that would be crushing.