Archive of Our Own ^beta

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Cress didn’t know what was so damn interesting about the bookshop owner down the street. Yes, he liked going into the shop every now and then, but that was just because they had a good and steady supply of the books on Water-types that he liked. Oliver was just an acquaintance, that was all.

Just a very good acquaintance who set books aside for him and made good conversation at the counter while Cress was checking out his latest purchases for that week. Just a very good acquaintance that Cress looked forward to seeing whenever he went there.

Nothing more.

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“You can do it this time, Oliver…”

The words repeated in his head as he watched Cress approaching the counter. It was the second time he’d been in this week, and by the dragons Oliver’s mouth felt dry.

The thought of water only made his nerves worse.

As he went through the familiar motion of scanning the books to be purchased, Oliver prayed his hands weren’t shaking that badly. He could be brave. He—

Damn it, he couldn’t.

“Have a nice day” were the only words out of his mouth. Oliver cursed himself as he watched Cress leave.

Maybe someday.

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Cress didn’t know why this had to be so hard.

He was currently studying a random book, pretending to be absorbed in it while Oliver was distracted with something. Cress was tempted to look up, just a glimpse or two, but the fear of being caught made everything worse.

That didn’t stop Cress from thinking about it, naturally.

He counted to three before daring to move his eyes from the page to the bookshop owner. Oliver was still busy, and Cress looked back down at his book as if he’d never even looked away.

Being covert was so damn stressful.

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Oliver definitely wasn’t watching Cress. He was just the only person in the store, that was all; the place didn’t get much traffic anyway. Nope. Definitely not looking.

He definitely wasn’t looking at Cress browsing the shelves (same section as always, Oliver thought). And Oliver certainly wasn’t watching the fluid way Cress moved and his expression while browsing.

Damn, Cress was hot when he was focused on something.

Before Oliver could fully process the thought, Cress looked up, and Oliver pretended to be busy with something on the counter.

He hoped his face didn’t look as red-hot as it felt.

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“Your, er… your jacket looks nice today.”

Cress cringed. His jacket? Really? That was what he was going with? Oh well, there was no taking it back now…

“Oh, um… thanks.” Oliver grinned awkwardly. Cress cursed himself. Why couldn’t this be easy? Pretending to flirt with those girls at the Gym the way they liked came so easily (after he practiced for a bit). But all the practice in the world couldn’t make this easier.

“Um… will that be all?”

“Oh, right.” Cress set his books on the counter. Oliver slid them forward to scan them out.

Damn it all.

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Oliver was not experienced in relationships. Neither was Cress, apparently, but neither of them minded, even if most of their dates were either at the shop or one of their homes. (Oliver didn’t know why Cress was so paranoid about being seen, but he’d learn one day.)

Even so… was it too early to be thinking about certain things? Too early to daydream about the future, one where they didn’t have to hide… it had only been a few months, but Oliver couldn’t stop.

He shook the thoughts away. He’d have to leave the future in fate’s hands for now.

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“I’m telling you, there was something in there!”

“Mhm.” Cress nodded, though the doubt was evident.

“I’m serious!” Oliver insisted, waving his arms emphatically. The rain beat on the windows outside, nearly drowning him out. “There was something there, Cress, and it—”

One of his gestures knocked something over, and Oliver froze. He turned around to see a little Shuppet hiding behind one of the stacks, and his expression instantly softened with pity.

“Aww…”

Cress shook his head, a fond smile on his face as he watched Oliver fawn over the pitiful Ghost-type. Damn his boyfriend for being so adorable.

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“So anyway…”

The words blended together after that. Oliver was too focused on Cress, on the way his boyfriend’s hair moved, on committing every last detail to memory so he never forgot.

The words blurred together until—

“Oliver.”

“Huh?” The sound of his name snapped Oliver out of his lovestruck trance.

“Did you hear any of that?”

“No, uh…” The admission made Oliver’s face feel hot. “Sorry…”

Cress shook his head in a motion Oliver knew was more fond than anything. “I suppose I’ll just have to start over. So, what happened was…”

Oliver made sure to listen this time.

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Cress knew dating in secret would not last forever. Whether because they’d be caught or because Oliver would get sick of it Cress didn’t know, but one of them was bound to happen eventually.

“Are you sure we can’t do anything?” Oliver asked as he leaned back on the couch. “It’s not that late.”

“I’d rather we stay here.”

Cress didn’t miss the disappointment on his boyfriend’s face. But what choice did they have? Cress didn’t want to think about being caught, and…

No, this was the safest option. For both their sakes. Even if it ate Cress up inside.

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Oliver really did try not to be jealous.

He leaned against the back wall of the restaurant, waiting for a good time to go back into the kitchen where he knew Cress would be. While he waited, the only sound Oliver could hear was the obnoxious giggling of those girls who always came here.

It wasn’t actually real, he knew that. But somehow the sight of Cress pretending to flirt with them made Oliver’s gut twist in ways he didn’t like.

Finally, Cress nodded at him discreetly, and Oliver perked up with a smile. He headed off for the kitchen.

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Cress knew he probably shouldn’t be looking around. Not when he was out with Oliver (for once; the city was crowded enough that they wouldn’t be noticed). But even with the weight of his boyfriend’s hand in his, Cress couldn’t help but be nervous.

What if someone saw them? What if someone who knew him saw them and—

Oliver kissed his cheek.

…

Cress barely heard the giggle from his boyfriend, no doubt seeing the look of surprise on Cress’ face. He wanted to protest, to tell Oliver not to do that, but… well…

Maybe just this once was alright.

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It wasn’t easy loving someone who didn’t want to be open about it. He didn’t know why Cress was so secretive, so reluctant to do anything outside of one of their homes or the bookshop.

Still… part of Oliver wanted to kiss him, in the middle of the street, spectators be damned. It was a  bad idea; something had to be worrying Cress this badly, after all. Still, it was hard not to be a little frustrated.

But things would work out eventually, and they wouldn’t have to hide anymore. And Oliver didn’t mind waiting for that day to come.

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It took Cress a moment to remember what happened. As the morning light drifted in through the living room windows, he noticed the light catching some blonde hair on his chest.

Oh.

Cress watched Oliver quietly, his face hot. They’d just stayed in to watch a movie, “like normal people” as Oliver so gently put it, and then…

“Oliver.” Cress gently shook him. It didn’t take much for Oliver to stir, blinking up at Cress with bleary eyes before it hit him too.

It should have been awkward… but Cress found he didn’t mind waking up with Oliver that morning.

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Oliver paced around his room, staring down at his phone with anxious eyes. Was that really okay? Was it okay to do that this early in a relationship? It had only been a few weeks, but it was just a good morning text. It shouldn’t be this bad.

…right?

Oliver groaned and fell onto his bed. Lillipup barked softly in concern, trotting over to her Trainer to see what was wrong.

His phone buzzed.

Oliver grabbed the device. The only notification was a simple Good morning from Cress.

Oliver buried his face in the pillow. New relationship jitters were messy.

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“C’mon, no one’s gonna look, it’s fine.” Oliver squeezed Cress’ hand with a reassuring smile. Cress only wished he could believe him.

“I know, I know.” He returned the squeeze, a silent gesture of gratitude. He was still trying to be more open with Oliver. They were taking it (extremely) slow, but neither seemed to mind. It was something they’d agreed on, something Cress had been wanting for a while.

If only it wasn’t so damn hard.

Still, Cress was willing to at least try. For himself, and for Oliver. Everything would be okay, as long as they were together.

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Oliver was thankful his job wasn’t as chaotic as his boyfriend’s. Just hearing about it made him exhausted sometimes, and it made him thankful for the quiet of his little bookshop. He knew Cress looked forward to these quiet little moments with just them. Oliver did too, he thought, snuggling up to his boyfriend with a little smile of contentment. This was nice.

They were both busy people, with their own obligations and responsibilities and things to do… but it was nice to get a moment’s peace every now and then with the person he loved most in the world.

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Cress didn’t know what it was about the bookshop owner. Every time Cress caught a glimpse of him (or thought he saw Oliver look at him), his mind ran with so many questions he didn’t dare think about for more than a second.

What does he think of me?

Was I dreaming he just looked at me?

Is he finding excuses to be near me or is he just busy?

Cress shook his head. He didn’t have time to be thinking about things like that. It could never happen anyway, for so many reasons. Besides, he had browsing to do.

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It wasn’t often Oliver had to order new shipments of books, since not many people actually came into the shop… but it was still fun organizing everything.

As he shifted through the stacks, one of the covers caught his eye. Something on Water-types. Huh. Maybe Cress would like it. He mostly bought those kinds of books anyway.

There was no harm in at least setting it aside. Next time Cress came in, he’d just tell him, he thought, tucking the book behind the counter. He didn’t know what about Cress made him remember those little details, but Oliver wasn’t complaining.

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Damn it, damn it, damn it all, why were feelings so hard?

Cress sighed, the sound more of a huff as he browsed through the bookshop’s shelves. This was wrong, he knew it was. His father had always said it was, and even if Cress knew it was a lie, Coriander’s words still rang through his head.

He’d been trying so hard to stop, either the feelings or Coriander’s words. So damn hard, and yet.

Cress glanced at Oliver, watching him organize the things behind the counter as he scratched Lillipup’s head. Damn the man for doing this to him.

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Cress and Oliver’s relationship was not without problems. Dating in secret was a major one, naturally, but there were other strains that came and went like the ocean’s waves. Some days Oliver was so mad at him he could burst, and he knew Cress had those days too. Some were petty, some more important, but they weren’t without their disagreements.

Even so, it wasn’t something they let stop them. Yes, they had their issues; every couple did, sooner or later. But they always worked themselves out. They’d been through a lot together, after all, and one fight didn’t change that.

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There were a lot of masks Cress wore throughout the day. The cool, calculating Gym Leader, one of the three illustrious Striaton brothers… people knew Cress for many things, many faces he put on and took off at will.

It was a relief to not be that way with Oliver.

With Oliver, Cress could relax and be (mostly) himself, something that could only also be said of his siblings. There were still a few cards Cress held close (mainly those to do with the rest of his family)... but it was nice to be able to let loose with someone.

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Oliver paced back and forth outside the door. It was fine to do this, right? This was a normal thing couples did. Even if he couldn’t do anything affectionate, couples visited each other at work all the time.

Yep. This would be fine, surely.

But maybe not.

Screw it.

Oliver opened the door. He didn’t see Cress, but the door to the battlefield was open…

Oliver found his way through the restaurant unnoticed and went inside. Cress looked busy with a challenger, him and Panpour up against a girl and her Darumaka.

Damn, he looked pretty when he was focused.

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Cress had thought he could go to bed happy. He’d done something very hard today, and for that he deserved to sleep well and—

He jolted up.

Wait a minute.

The bookshop owner. Oliver. All those feelings of Butterfree in his chest, of never knowing the right thing to say, the consistent trips with no purpose other than seeing him—

Had that been…?

Cress groaned softly and fell back, rolling over to bury his face in his pillow. He would think about Oliver later, once he’d processed actually coming out. He didn’t want to deal with all that right now.

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Oliver sighed as he looked at the note in his hand. He’d spent hours last night writing it, to the point where he’d nearly overslept. Not that it mattered, since he lived above the shop, but still.

Lillipup barked, and Oliver smiled. “You think it’s a good idea?” Another bark. Oliver laughed. “Okay.”

He sighed, slipping the note into the middle pages of the book Cress was supposed to pick up today. Something about the gesture felt nerve-wracking, but it wasn’t that uncommon to ask someone out like that… right?

He just hoped Cress would find it and say yes.

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Cress knew a relationship carried its own burdens, on top of all the other responsibilities he had to deal with. It wasn’t easy given the nature of their relationship. There were a lot of things Cress had to hide, from the public if not from certain family members. It was the safest option, but that didn’t mean it was easy on either of them.

Still, Cress didn’t care. He wanted Oliver, whatever came with that. Even if it was, in some ways, dangerous, Cress didn’t care about all that. As long as he had Oliver, that was fine by him.

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Oliver’s life was not one that could be described as eventful. Most of it consisted of going between his shop and the apartment above it, working or trying to recover from it.

And then he’d started dating Cress.

It didn’t fix everything in Oliver’s life—no relationship could do that. But it did make things pleasantly interesting, a new addition to life Oliver hadn’t expected but welcomed.