Work Text:
Law every once in a while thinks about death. Literally, every once in a while, and how he’d die. He does know it’s not the best thing to think over, but his life is tragedy after tragedy, would he regret dying? A part of him says no and another says yes. The one side that says yes is humanity, his humanity. He has a crew to worry about, alliances that have his back and he has theirs.
He has relationships that would be devastated if he died. Some close, some not so close. A lot of that does matter to him. Especially his crew, his family. If he were to die, he’s sure he wouldn’t want anyone to see it. Especially the enemy if they managed to best him. Which is a solemn act. He knows the feeling of dying, at least, a long extension of it. The cold and desolate senses washes over and you're left there, helpless, and numb.
Law does sometimes question if he truly does want to die. He wouldn’t want anybody around, he wants to be alone when it happens. It’d be shameful to share those last moments with someone either mourning or mocking. Both are equally embarrassing. Not because of the fact a person is with him, but somebody has to share the experience with him. He doesn’t want that. He wants to take it all on himself. A part of it is pride talking there, but another part is him knowing how it feels to be helpless to him. Knowing that people care, but they’re dauntless to do anything.
That is the feeling he never wants to feel again. It’s worse owning somebody, but even worse when you can’t owe them anything. It’s even more burdensome if he can’t do anything about the circumstances. Nobody should feel like that to him or his death. If he could, he would become alone so he suffers without regret of the consequences of his death. Even if there are some consequences, he’d be at ease if it meant he wasn’t to be witnessed dying.
Law doesn’t plan on dying soon, too much he has, too much to do, too much in store for him. While, yes, it’s an occuring thought, he won’t be so willing to lay down his life. He couldn’t leave his crew alone, nor out in the New World, they’re helpless without him. He humors to himself that but he knows they’re going to be fine if he does die. Not that the time will come soon, anyways.