Chapter Text
Act I, Scene I
High Hill High School, interior, hallway
Beverly Toegold V had gotten himself incredibly turned around, somehow. His old schools weren’t nearly as much of a labyrinth as High Hill High School was proving to be, and he had gotten separated from his supposed student guide. The nervous halfling who called himself Denny had disappeared at the first sign of trouble, as soon as the bell rang to dismiss everyone from their homerooms. This left Bev to fend for himself in the bustling hallway, filled with much bigger and much taller students, from humans to half-orcs, and even the occasional eladrin or half-giant, none of whom were particularly conscientious about where they stepped.
“Hey, are you lost?”
If you had asked him before this exact moment, Bev would have said that he didn’t believe in love at first sight, soulmates, or any of that silliness. But in turning around and laying eyes on the skinny, red-haired halfling before him, he felt everything slot into place like he was in a cheesy 90’s teen rom-com based on a classic work of literature (in an attempt to make said literature somehow not sexist and tyrannous). All that was missing was a slo-mo hair toss or some heart eyes.
“Uh, yeah. Thanks” Bev recovered from his reverie fairly quickly, all things considered. “I’m supposed to be going to, uh,” he squinted at his schedule, “Biology with Cybin.”
“Oh, you’re definitely on the wrong side of the building. You’re new, right? Didn't they give you a green teen guide?” The boy pushed his curls back from his face, his eyes wide with concern that his fellow halfling could be so woefully and dangerously ignored.
“Yes, I just got done talking with Ms. Maw Maw and she assigned me to Denny, but we got separated back there, I’m not sure where he is. It’s so cool that you have an opossum working here.”
The redhead gave a quiet scoff, almost as if he didn’t really believe that they “accidentally” got separated and he had no respect for the upperclassman. “Well have no fear, I’m also a green teen so I can show you to your class no problem.” He gave a playful salute, then waved at his friends. “Bye guys, tell Mr. Erdan I’ll be a few minutes late, but I have my report on the Halfling ready to go.”
And with that, they were off. His new guide knew some halfling-sized shortcuts through the hallway and even marked them on Beverly’s printed-out map so he could use them in the future. “Us little guys have to look out for each other,” he explained with a kind smile. “Here’s Dr. Cybin’s class.” They stopped in front of a meticulously decorated classroom door, all but engulfed by hyperrealistic moss and mushrooms. “Enjoy, you’ll get a really interesting take on biology. And if you’re into possums, be sure to ask Dr. Cybin about them. She’s kind of an expert, and she even has one as a familiar.”
“Thanks for the help,” Bev said gratefully, rubbing the back of his neck. ‘This school is so… big.” Normally Bev would be appalled at himself for stating the obvious so obviously, but honestly, it was a miracle his mouth was even still working at all. He’d take whatever he could get.
“You get used to it,” the redhead reassured him with a gentle pat on his shoulder. “I better get going, the bell is about to ring. Oh, I’m Erlin by the way.” He stuck out his hand.
Bev smiled, shaking it firmly. “Beverly Toegold the Fifth. But everyone calls me Bev.”
“Nice to meet you, Bev. Come and find us at lunch if you’d like. We sit in the middle of the cafeteria, we’re hard to miss.” Erlin grinned before turning to dash down the hall, his shock of red hair darting back and forth between the medium and large students milling about.
Bev sighed wistfully, allowing himself just a moment of reflection before setting his shoulders back, lifting his head high, and stepping into the classroom.
Most of biology class was spent daydreaming about his new crush (and the rest was spent marveling at the opossum peeking his head out of Dr. Cybin’s overall pocket and wondering if the flora and fungi on the door were real (rather than an uncanny likeness as he had originally assumed). Before he knew it, his notebook was covered in little hearts with “B+E” in the center and Bev just knew that he had to act on this feeling. He was never one to shy away from matters of the heart, even in uncertain or unfamiliar circumstances, and this was no exception.
His next classes were all in the same wing and easier to find, and he concentrated marginally better. For the most part, no one expected much of the new kid (aside from the odd rehearsed introduction), and that was just fine with him.
Act I, Scene II
High Hill High School, interior, lunchroom
Later, in the lunchroom, it was as easy to find Erlin and his gang of friends as the redhead had said. The halfling-sized tables near the edge of the cafeteria were absolutely perfect and he could understand why the group had claimed them. Erlin’s friends introduced themselves as Derlin and Cran, and the four began to talk like long-lost friends. He clocked a rainbow flag pin on Erlin’s bookbag and smiled to himself. Maybe he actually could have a chance.
Almost immediately it was clear that Derlin and Cran had mutual crushes on each other, but were utterly oblivious to that fact. Bev made a mental note; maybe he could play matchmaker later, after he and Erlin were comfortably dating. Speaking of which…
“So, Erlin,” Bev began, near the end of the lunch period. “What’s the dating scene like here? I mean, are you seeing anyone?” Smooth. Very subtle.
“Oh, uh, no, not really.” Erlin seemed to get a little flustered at the question. “I’m not allowed to date. At least, not until my sister does.”
“Oh. Strict parents?” Bev could relate–his dad ran their home like the drill sergeant he actually was (in some respects at least). His mother’s sweetness was usually a nice balance, so things worked out rather well for him all things considered.
“Strict grandmother,” Erlin corrected easily. “She’s overprotective and very old-fashioned. There’s a chance she might have been joking about the whole thing but I’m too scared to ask.”
“Well, that’s understandable I guess. Does your sister go here?” Beverly at least didn’t have to feign interest–his gears were already turning.
“Yeah, she’s brooding at that table over there.” Erlin gestured over to a halfling sitting alone at a corner table, a serious look on her face as she listened to music on her black iPod shuffle.
“What’s her deal?” Bev asked curiously, resting his chin on both hands.
“It’s anyone’s guess. Egwene doesn’t talk to me unless she has to, and she doesn’t have to very often. We uh, used to be closer.” The “ before our parents died and she pulled away from any meaningful relationships she may or may not have had previously” was unspoken, but understood nonetheless.
A few things became clear to Beverly all at once. He was going to date Erlin Kindleaf. And in order to do that, he would have to find someone to date his sister. And he really, desperately had missed having other halfling friends.
Act I, Scene III
High Hill High School, exterior, under the bleachers
Beverly took a deep breath, steeling his shoulders as he watched the older halfling smoking a cigarette, leaning against a support column and looking unbelievably cool. All he had to do was talk to her and plant the idea of dating someone in her head. Be subtle about it.
“What are you staring at?” The older girl’s no-nonsense voice cut through his thoughts. “If you’re going to be a narc don’t bother, I’ll be long gone before you’re back.”
“Oh, uh. Hi. I’m not a narc. I’m Beverly, I’m new” Bev stuck out his hand for a moment, rescinding it when there was no reciprocation on Egwene’s part. Unwavering in the face of rejection, he continued: “I was just wondering if you would maybe perhaps want to date someone so that I could ask Erlin out. Possibly. You don’t have to it’s fine.”
He tried to make a quick exit but Egwene reached out to grab his shirt collar and pull him underneath the bleachers.
“ You want to date my brother?” She raised an unimpressed eyebrow. “Why?”
“I mean, not to be dramatic, but I think we might be soulmates.” Bev looked at her earnestly, his eyes wide.
She rolled her eyes at that, taking another drag of her cigarette. “Yeah, right. You’re what, a sophomore?” She released his collar.
“A junior,” he said, somewhat indignantly, smoothing down the front of his now-rumpled shirt. “I skipped second grade thank you very much.”
“Yeah, not happening. I’m not going on a date with some idiot just so you can date my lame brother.” Egwene scoffed, dropping her cigarette to the ground and grinding it into the cement with the heel of her boot.
“Oh come on, you must have a crush on someone, right?” Beverly was desperate, trying to grasp onto any leverage he might have in hopes of winning her over.
“At this school? No way. They’re just a bunch of losers. I wouldn’t waste my time.”
“Okay, Hear me out. My mom makes the most incredible sticky buns and maybe if you could just pretend-”
“Fat chance. Later, loser.”
As she strode off back toward the building, Bev was beginning to realize this would be much harder than he anticipated.
Act I, Scene IV
High Hill High School, interior, gymnasium
Physical education was the one class Bev and Erlin had together. The older halfling was almost grateful; he imagined he’d have a hard time focusing in his academic classes if Erlin were there with him. With gym, it didn’t matter as much. The teacher, Coach Surefoot, was chill, if a little obsessed with one-upping Coach Jaina while kissing up to the tenured Coach Trueaxe. Coach Jaina, on the other hand, seemed unaware of this perceived rivalry. She was too busy coaching the archery, wrestling, and softball teams to state championships each year.
“So, Egwene didn’t want to go on a date out of the goodness of her heart? Color me shocked.” Erlin’s voice was deadpan as he and Bev passed a basketball back and forth. “I’m honestly just surprised she didn’t push you down or something.”
“Yeah, maybe I should have consulted you first,” Bev acquiesced, trying to be cool and dribble the ball behind his back before sending it back to his new friend. He did in fact fail miserably and send the ball flying across the gym. “Oops.”
After retrieving the ball, Beverly continued, “So, if Egwene won’t do it herself, maybe we need to figure out who has a crush on her. No, no I heard it as soon as I said it.” He grimaced. “Maybe… we need to find someone who could just… take her out anyway. Just a few times, nothing serious, but enough to make it cool for us to start dating.”
“Isn’t that a little cruel?”
“I mean, maybe a little… But wouldn’t it make your life better anyway? If she’s a little bit happy?”
Erlin was quiet for a bit as they passed the ball back and forth, just working through the ethics of it all in his head. “Okay. Let’s do it.”
“Okay, so it's decided. But who would want to do that?”
“That’s a good question… most of the sapphics at this school are either spoken for, or wildly incapable of handling someone like my sister. We need someone… brave. Someone who doesn’t care about what anyone else thinks… Someone like-”
“Someone like her?” Bev gestured to a dwarf sitting with a small group of friends, too busy staring at Coach Bronzebeard wistfully to even notice them. “I mean she looks… what do you know about her?”
“Oh, that’s Kenna. She started here at the beginning ot the year. She’s a senior like Egwene, I don't know too much about her though. She’s never dated anyone, but I’m pretty sure she's gay.”
“How sure is pretty sure?” Bev had learned the hard way not to judge books by their covers at his old schools.
“She has a carabiner to hold her keys and she’s in shop class.”
Well, fair enough. “Good enough for me.”
And with that, their half-baked idea blossomed into a full-fledged plan. Now all that remained was getting Kenna on board.