Work Text:
Start time (2/26/25)
The room was lit up with colored but unscented candles and warm lights from lamps. It was better than having the main lamp on since Clown would be blinded when he came back from work. Typically Clown is back by two in the morning. Now, it’s a quarter til four and he hasn’t made any contact with Branzy about his whereabouts. It was times like this that Branzy would think about the other wives in the neighborhood who would show off their shared locations with him. My husband could never! He has nothing to hide!
Which did make Branzy feel bad, but not before remembering that he had a secret as well. While Clown was more in the direct field of his services , Branzy stayed more towards traps instead, it’s more interesting to him. Less combat as well, he was never good at it no matter how much Clown had tried training him. That’s why this system works. Branzy takes care of the house and the goats out back and Clown does all the money things. He isn’t entirely sure how Clown’s able to do what he does but it works and no one’s come banging on the door about unpaid taxes.
Sometimes Branzy thinks this life is really for him, Clown makes really good money and Branzy helps out with selling goat dairy products as well which definitely helps with income. All the extra money is spent on laundry products and parts for Branzy’s newest projects. There’s also a studio where a bunch of unfinished devices sit in. Occasionally Clown asks for something which Branzy is happy to oblige, it gives him ideas for what to do next.
What Branzy doesn’t like is when Clown’s late. Dinner had been made long ago, it’s now sitting on the table wrapped up in tin foil to keep warm. Branzy’s too upset to get up and go to sleep instead, rather, sit on the chair facing where Clown would come in and pout at him. He hasn’t even taken off the apron Clown had gotten him.
Where could this man be?! It was Friday! Branzy always makes one of Clown’s favorites on Friday! He even went the extra mile to make some side dishes as well. Clown had better not of found some random motel to stay at. He knows how much it worries Branzy when he doesn’t come home on time!
Right on cue, Branzy’s goat ears twitch and he sits up straight on his chair before listening to the quiet footsteps get closer. He can smell the blood and it makes him even more mad.
Branzy tries to keep his composure, “Where have you been?”
“I’m sorry dear, work took a bit longer than I thought it would.”
As predicted, Branzy pouts and Clown takes his mask off, “I really am sorry.”
“Apology not accepted! Go eat and take a shower, you’re sleeping on the couch mister!”
Clown’s face drops with his ears as well, he tries to lean into Branzy but gets swatted away, “You don’t mean that…”
“Oh yes I do!” Stand your ground Branzy! Don’t fall for those really adorable eyes! “Do you know how long you made me wait here?!”
“Darling it was only a couple hours…”
“A couple hours too long! Now go, you’re getting mud and blood on the floor and I gotta clean it up.”
“Can I at least have a kiss-?”
“No!”
“Please…?”
Void Branzy can’t stand when Clown nuzzles his nose into his neck, it makes him go crazy, “Fine,” Branzy leans up to give him a quick smooch and sends him on his way, “And don’t come back until you’re squeaky clean!”
“Yes dear…”
Clown sulks as he goes up the stairs, his mask remains on the coffee table where he had placed it. Branzy sighs as he watches Clown’s tail go down and in between his legs. He ignores it for now and cleans up the footprints and the small pool where Clown stood before. It was a common thing, Branzy knows Clown tries to keep it minimal but it’s unavoidable so he’s gotten used to it. Although today was different and Branzy may have used a little too much force and broke the mop. He stares at it before having to use the lower half and continue with strain on his back.
Clown comes down shortly after and attempts to hug Branzy who promptly turns away and goes to unwrap the dishes. Clown sits down and just stares at Branzy who moves around the kitchen. The counters and sink are already cleaned up but he busies himself with other things. Clown just stares at him while he moves, it’s another common thing Clown does. Branzy doesn’t understand it but it doesn’t bother him so he hadn’t said anything.
Clown breaks his flow, “Sit with me?”
Branzy thinks for a moment before sitting across from him where he normally sits when they eat together. Clown finally starts to eat and Branzy watches. Frankly, he didn’t have much of a reason to be awake still except his sheer will to make sure Clown knows he’s upset. It’s noticeable now when Clown takes longer to eat to keep Branzy with him longer.
When he does finish, Branzy takes the plates and heads to the sink. Clown comes up behind Branzy and hugs his waist before putting his chin on top of Branzy’s head, “Are you sure I have to sleep on the couch?”
“Yes Clown now if you’ll excuse me I have to wash the dishes.”
“But what if I can make you feel really good.”
Branzy can practically feel Clown smirking behind him and Branzy uses his wet glove to smack him playfully, “Clown!”
He laughs, a sweet laugh, “What? Come on, just let me sleep with you, I won’t even complain about you stealing the blanket! Promise!”
“No! You know how I feel when you come home late without any warning!”
“I know I know, I really am sorry, I’ll make it up to you.”
“You promise?”
“I’ll take you to that new restaurant on Sunday, how about that?”
“Apology accepted.”
Branzy smiles and Clown turns his head back to kiss him, only a light kiss. Clown would much rather have Branzy finish what he was doing and go to bed. So they stayed in a comfortable silence, only the sound of water and scrubbing could be heard. Clown loosened his grip on Branzy’s waist just enough so that he could put the plates in the dishwasher to dry off.
Branzy takes the apron and gloves off before turning around and wrapping his arms around Clowns neck and making him lean down. Clown took it as a sign and closed the distance between the two and placed his lips on his lovers. Clown moved his hands from Branzy’s waist up to his face and takes his face in his hands before deepening the kiss.
The intensity forced Branzy to move his hands to the edge of the counter to support himself. Clown noticed and picked him up to help him onto the island counter. Branzy broke off first, he always did, Clown never seemed to go out of breath as quickly as Branzy did. A thin string of saliva connects the two and Branzy leans his head against Clown’s. “You’re still sleeping on the couch.”
Clown puts on the biggest puppy eyes ever, “I thought you accepted my apology?”
God dammit those eyes, “Yes but you still need to follow through with your punishment.”
“What an evil goat you are.”
Branzy playfully gasps and dramatically leans back all the way onto the counter, “How dare you put me on your level!”
“I’m no more evil than you are my dear,” Clown follows Branzy down and softly kisses the small bump where his stomach is, “But you are pretty evil for making your own husband sleep on the couch.”
“Well thy husband of mine had the AUDACITY to come home late and expect no consequences for his actions.”
Branzy snuck his band down to Clown’s hair and scratched at the back of his ears which forced out a low purr from the man. Branzy started to doze off when he felt Clown nip at one of his fingers, “Clown!”
“If I carry you to bed will you let me sleep with you?”
“Hm,” Branzy pretends to think, “You can carry me to bed and then go back to the couch?”
Clown sighs and picks up Branzy again before heading to their bed and dropping him when he was above the bed, “That was so uncalled for!”
“If I kiss you better will you let me stay with you?”
“No can do!”
Clown gave on last kiss to Branzy before eventually retiring from his persistence. Branzy tries real hard to sleep that night.
Clown doesn’t mind when Branzy’s being fussy about sleeping on the couch. He just has to wait a few hours before a certain goat walks down the stairs and cuddles up to him. Which frankly will take a while so Clown grabs a pillow and an extra large blanket before dozing off to sleep.
Branzy comes down around 6am and lazily sneaks into Clown’s arms waking him up. Clown readjusts so they can sleep comfortably together, “Couldn’t sleep?”
“No… too cold… you’re warm.”
“You wanna go back to the bed together?”
“No… you’ve already made the couch warm.”
“Whatever you want.”
Silence fills the room as Branzy snuggles up closer to Clown, it’s a thing he does, trying to crawl into his skin to be as close as he can. It gets cold in Lifesteal, they don’t have heaters and since Clown’s body runs incredibly warm for some reason it helps regulate Branzy’s coldness.
“Sometimes I think you’ll leave me.”
Clown looks down at Branzy who’s smooshing his face into Clown’s chest, “Why do you think that?”
“You’re so good, you take care of me, you make sure I have everything I could ever want, there’s so many better choices out there… Whenever you come home late I start thinking the worst. What if something bad happened Clown? I can’t fight to save my life. I wouldn’t be able to do anything, and that scares me so much Clown.”
“Look at me?”
Branzy hesitates before making eye contact with Clown, small tears form in the corner of his eyes which Clown wipes away, “Mijn geit, you’ve done so much for me. Every night when I come home you’re there with the best food I’ve had the pleasure of eating. You know, everyone’s that stepped foot in our home has always come up to me sometime later to mention how well you’ve kept the place tidy. And I’m so lucky to be the one to say “That’s my wife for you, the absolute best” nobody else but me gets to say that. Don’t even get me started on that as-“ Branzy stopped him there.
Clown can feel Branzy smile at the skin where his pajamas leave him exposed. They have matching pajama sets, not the same color though. Clown has a deep red while Branzy has a vibrant purple. Branzy’s eyes had long drift off, but his legs remain wrapped up in Clown’s.
“Thank you.”
“Of course.” Clown means it, he’ll say it as many times as he needs to for Branzy to understand just even a little bit of how much Clown loves him.
The two lay there once again in silence, this time, Clown’s tail wraps around Branzy’s waist and traps him, “I’ll always be here ok?”
“…Mhm…”
“Tired?”
Branzy nods in response, he speaks again after a bit, “I love you.”
“I love you more.”
Branzy laughs quietly, “I think we both know who loves who more.”
“And I will gladly take that title.”
“Not if I have anything to say to that.”
“Like what?”
“Hm, I love you more than I love pine tree branches.”
Clown gasps, “But you love those branches!”
“Mhm! Thats just how much I love you.”
“Well I love you more than I love Elden Ring.”
Branzy sighs in defeat, “You always win this. Can’t you let me win for once?”
“You can try again tomorrow when you get some sleep.”
“Ok…”
Since they’ve been talking for a while Branzy’s tiredness started to go away. Though he still needed sleep so Clown rubbed the spot behind his goat ear, and Branzy practically fell asleep from it. It was Clown’s party trick whenever he found Branzy glued to his desk. This was one of Clown’s favorite parts of the night, being able to know that his wife can be safe around him even with his criminal history made all of it worth it to get here.
Clown drifted off to sleep again, the next morning the two would find a way to love each other more than the last.