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The drive is long, the roads winding, and Winter spends most of it with her forehead press against the cool glass of the van window. The trees blur past, endless green stretching into the sky. Karina sits somewhere behind her, voice lifting every now and then in response to something Ryujin says.
Winter doesn't turn around.
It's not like she's avoiding her. Not really. It's just—Karina is easier to think about when she's not looking.
The moment they step out of the van, the air smells different, earthy, fresh. The sun filters through the trees, casting long shadows across the ground. They split up to unpack, and that's when Winter hears it -
"You're with Karina," Giselle says, tossing a bag in her direction. "Cool with you?"
Winter blinks. The words process slowly, sluggishly, like they don't belong in the same sentence. With Karina?
Karina, already by their tent, raises an eyebrow. "You good?" she asks, pulling the zipper down in one smooth motion.
Winter nods.
Her hands feel too empty, too restless. She grips the strap of her backpack a little tighter.
"Yeah. Just... didn't know."
Karina huffs a quiet laugh. "Well, now you do."
Then she disappears inside, leaving Winter standing there, feeling like she's already lost.
—
Winter should be asleep.
The tent is quiet except for the occasional rustle of fabric. Karina shifts beside her, the space between them feeling smaller in the dark. Barely a breath of air separates them, and Winter wonders if Karina can hear her heart beating too loudly, too fast.
Winter turns her head, eyes tracing the outline of Karina's silhouette against the dim glow of the moon outside. She looks unreal. The sharpness of her jaw softening into something more delicate in the dark. Her hair spills over her pillow, a dark halo against the soft fabric. The steady rise and fall of her chest, the way her fingers twitch slightly in her sleep—Winter memorizes it all.
How is she real?
Winter has always thought Karina was pretty. But here, now, with the night pressing in around them, she feels devastatingly so.
"You ever think about leaving?" Karina murmurs suddenly.
Winter's eyes open fully. The ceiling of the tent is just fabric, but somehow it feels infinite. "Leaving?"
"Yeah. Just gonna disappear for a while."
Winter doesn't answer right away. It feels too much like a confession for her, too much something fragile. She turns onto her side, watches the faint outline of Karina's profile.
"Where would you go?" Karina hums, "somewhere warm. Somewhere no one knows me."
"Sounds lonely." Karina exhales a quiet laugh. "Maybe."
They didn't say anything after that. But Winter stays awake for a long time, listening to the steady rhythm of Karina's breathing. Wondering why it feels like she already knows what loneliness looks like.
—
Giselle invited them to swim in the lake. The water is colder than expected. Winter hesitates at the shore, arms wrapped around herself. The others were already splashing around, screaming when someone inevitably gets dunked underwater.
Karina stands waist-deep in the lake, tilting her head back to wet her hair, eyes closed against the sun. She looks unreal, almost cinematic, like a scene from a movie Winter will never get to finish.
Winter's eyes drag over her, unable to stop. The way her skin glows under the sun's light, the elegant slope of her shoulders, the curve of her spine as she shifts in the water. She moves with an easy kind of grace, like she belongs in the water, like she was meant to be seen like this—ethereal and untouchable.
Winter forces herself to look away.
"Get in already, loser." Ningning shouts from the water. "Or are you scared?"
Winter exhales sharply, shaking her head. "I hate all of you."
Karina laughs, bright and warm. "Come on," she says, reaching out. Her fingers brush Winter's wrist, just barely. "I'll pull you in."
Maybe it's nothing. Maybe it's just Karina being Karina. But Winter lets herself be pulled under anyway.
[ning: bro r u alive? u were quiet af at the fire]
[winter: just tired]
[ryujin: lmfao or maybe just busy being a loser for karina???]
[winter: im gonna strangle u if u dont stfu]
Did you mean what you said last night? About leaving?
I think about you more than I should.
Forget it.
—
The campfire crackles, flickering shadows dancing across Karina's face. Winter stares, fascinated, caught in a moment she doesn't fully understand.
Karina turns, meeting her gaze, "what?"
Winter shakes her head, immediately looking away. "Nothing."
But it isn't nothing. It never is.
She wants to say something. To pull the words out of her ribs, to let them sit between them, heavy and real. But then Yeji says something that makes Karina laugh, and the moment splinters apart before it can even exist.
Winter presses her nails into her palm. Feel the words shrivel in her throat. She was never going to say it anyway.
—
The last morning is too quiet. The tent is gone, folded away like the weekend never happened. Karina stretches, looking at Winter like she might say something. But she doesn't. And Winter doesn't either.
Karina picks up her bag, slings it over her shoulder. "See you," she says, like it's simple. Like it doesn't mean anything.
Winter watches her walk away. She could say something now, stop her—tell her about her feelings, but she won't. She lets her.
—
Winter goes home with a tan line from the lake and the ghost of Karina's laughter in her head.
She scrolls through her phone, staring at the subtle, blurry photo she took—Karina by the lake, the sky stretching endless behind her. Winter, of course, doesn't delete it.
She doesn't send the message either.
You in the water, your hair catching the light. I don't know why I remember you like that.