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This has been a rather exhausting week for Nadeko, trying to find inspiration for her new manga then being given the idea of creating your own very clones to help you with it just for them to start a rebellion against you and run away which forced her out of her house to look for them. It was tiresome, yet Nadeko couldn't exactly blame her clones for doing such a thing. If she was aware she was made just for the sole purpose of doing the same thing every day she'd most likely do the same thing as well. Besides, the clones were, well, her clones. They were just as 'Nadeko' as she was. They were all her from the past. If her life was a manga the reader would surely think: "Wow! This character really went through a lot of development." Yet she still couldn't help but feel stuck in some way; as if she hasn't matured at all. Maybe one could say she felt as if she regressed instead of improved.
Maybe Nadeko should stop thinking of such stuff right now as she was in middle of drawing. After the events she felt pretty motivated to draw, and now recently reaching a friendship status with Yotsugi made drawing easier. As far as Nadeko understood Yotsugi was a doll of sorts, a corpse doll or something. She didn't grasp the nature of Yotsugi's being very well but it was fine. Yotsugi was like those wooden anatomy dolls most artist had; Nadeko could instruct whatever position she wanted Yotsugi to be in and she'd comply.
"Yotsugi." Nadeko suddenly spoke up which made Yotsugi's head turn to the direction of the voice calling out to her. Her face had no expression, her eyes devoid of any emotion whatsoever. It was rather uncanny to stare at Yotsugi at times; it was as if Nadeko was truly staring at a corpse. Except this corpse was just walking and talking like a human. "Uhm.. It's not anything related to posing or things like that. I was just wondering something.. Can you feel emotions?" Nadeko suddenly asked. She wasn't sure if this was insulting towards Yotsugi or not. Its just.. After such an event they both went through it made Nadeko see her in a different light. The emotions in her scared her a little. She wasn't ready to let go of Araragi fully; even if she did tell her clone she fell out of love with him. That she'd repeat the same thing again, that she'd foolishly fall in love with someone yet again and let them consume her life entirely. Yet, now that she finally let go of Araragi it felt empty in a way. She always looked forward to seeing him; going as far as to wait outside his High School just to walk home with him. But those times were in the past, she can't keep looking back now.
"I can experience emotions, I just can't show them." Yotsugi replied after a while. Nadeko supposed it made sense, after all she was in a human body so it wouldn't be logical if she'd be completely devoid of feelings. Yotsugi's answer did provide a sense of relief within Nadeko. Perhaps it was some way to be reassured she wasn't completely inhuman. But Nadeko had her fair share with the supernatural, even there being a brief period where she was a God. But that position was taken away quite a long time ago so maybe it didn't mean much now. And she doesn't really want to look back at it.
"I.. I see, it must feel kind of suffocating. Right?" Nadeko questioned. If she was in the same situation as Yotsugi was, she was sure the feeling would be suffocating. As if she was drowning endlessly with no way of being rescued. Such a thing was pitiful in Nadeko's eyes. But, there was nothing she could do about it. That was a part of Yotsugi's being, there was no other way to defy it. "Not really. You get used to it after a while." Yotsugi simply replied. In her point of view; it wasn't all that bad. It wasn't as suffocating as Nadeko imagined it. She was like that from the moment she was created. It was within her nature, that was all there was to it. Nothing more, nothing less.
However, even though she could technically feel emotions but not express them made her curious about some stuff. It was human nature to love one another. She can't exactly say if she loved anyone; she was the brutal, obsessive love Nadeko had towards Araragi. The more tame, slow-burn, romantic love Senjougahara had with Araragi, the platonic familial love the Fire Sisters had with Araragi. Somehow, he was tied down to everyone Yotsugi knew; or at the very least was familiar with. It made Yotsugi curious if she could feel such things.
Nadeko on the other hand was still questioning things. She knew from the moment Araragi hadn't chosen her that she wouldn't be able to win him over no matter how much she tried. Perhaps that was fate itself; all she could do is just be in the background of his life, wish him all of the best and keep moving forward.
"Nadeko, I have a request." Yotsugi suddenly spoke up, breaking the pose she was in previously which caused Nadeko to cease her sketching and glance onto Yotsugi. Curiosity was etched onto her face. It was a sudden moment, something Nadeko didn't expect. Whatever it was, it couldn't be that bad. Maybe Yotsugi just wanted to change the pose, or do something else entirely.
"Can we kiss?" Her question was something Nadeko couldn't properly register. Kiss? As in, on the lips kind of kissing?? Where did Yotsugi even want to kiss her? Did she even know what she was asking? Nadeko could feel her face getting warmer and she couldn't exactly give a proper reply to that. 'E-eh?! Kiss? Where?" Nadeko asked. The way she panicked made it seem like Yotsugi reminded her of a deadline, or something similar to that. Although she wasn't exactly expecting this panicked of a reaction but maybe asking this out of the blue wasn't exactly the best idea. "Anywhere." Yotsugi simply replied. Nadeko couldn't exactly refuse her; after all she has been wondering how it would feel if she kissed a girl instead. Maybe the question came from that moment at the shrine when Nadeko told her that if she continued acting like that, she'd fall in love with her. "On the cheek..? For starters, I suppose." Nadeko replied. She wasn't sure who would make the first move, but seeing Yotsugi stand up and walk towards her made it clear that she'd be the one doing the kissing.
Yotsugi's lips were cold, like a corpse was kissing her (Yotsugi being a corpse has been mentioned a few times already). Yet, it didn't feel weird. The coldness of Yotsugi's lips felt more apparent the hotter Nadeko's face became. "Was that good enough?" Yotsugi asked. A simple kiss on the cheek that most likely meant nothing on Yotsugi's end other than it just being simply for curiosity. Being kissed by the same gender felt nice, Nadeko had to admit that at the very least. It was still embarrassing, though. This was different than being kissed on the cheek by anyone else. This was Yotsugi, after all.
"Can we kiss on the lips now?" Yotsugi's blunt questions never ceased to amaze Nadeko. Even in such a moment where she's practically red from being kissed on the cheek Yosugi still wanted to go even further than that and kiss her on the lips. If Nadeko got this flustered over a kiss on the cheek only God would know what would happen if they were to kiss on the lips. But the problem was, Nadeko didn't know how to kiss. She doubted Yotsugi had any experience either. "Alright. L-let's just press our lips together, okay? That still counts as a kiss!" Nadeko replied, she wasn't sure if pressing their lips together even counted as a kiss but it was something, right? She was sure she'd die if they were to actually have a proper kiss so for both her and Yotsugi's sake they had to settle on just pressing their lips for a few seconds and then pulling away.
Yotsugi gave a nod, she slightly leaned in which almost made Nadeko lean away. But she couldn't. If she were to move away it would make things already more awkward than it was. She sighed internally. And then she felt it. The unusual softness of Yotsugi's lips that were still cold. Yet again, it didn't feel wrong. It felt more right than being kissed on the cheek. This strangely felt more intimate. That was a stupid thought, of course it would feel more intimate; this was a kiss on the lips for God's sake! Yet Nadeko didn't fully grasp the reality of their situation until Yotsugi pulled away.
"That felt alright." Yotsugi simply replied as she leaned away, yet Nadeko was still flustered. Her sketchbook dropped to the floor alongside her eraser and pencil. "Can I ask you something Yotsugi?" Nadeko suddenly spoke up, she wasn't sure what exactly came over her. But all Nadeko knew that she wasn't entirely satisfied with just this. She wanted more for some unknown reason. She couldn't explain this feeling; but it made her want more.
"Can we do it again?"