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His heart drummed irregularly; a pacing anxiety was about him. Midri has questioned his identity for as long as he could remember. It’s a secret he kept his lips sealed on for ages. Nobody in his two families knew.
That was about to change.
Midri never wholly felt a woman — rather, he felt more of a man than anything. Now, it was nerve-wracking as he waited to tell his beloved the truth about him.
He was never really a woman.
The Companions were a rather open and accepting group, going as far to accept his dabblings with conjuration magic despite bold warnings that magic would not be tolerated. They’d become Midri’s second family, something he’d swore to himself to never ruin. Yet the task ahead was a daunting one, teasing him that he’d be rejected for his being.
He was always a busybody, Vilkas was. Whether it be on the job, training whelps, or studying only gods-know-what, he often did not give himself a break. Around the eve, it was easier to catch him off his guard of constant work.
As routine followed, the sun set, and Vilkas just so happened to head downstairs where Midri paced the bedroom enough to create a rut in the rugs, hands behind his back and a glum look on his face.
He was quick to notice when entering the room; it made him drop his book and come to his side in a hot second. His hands cradled Midri’s face, causing him to stop in his tracks and finally look up. His mulberry eyes crossed to Vilkas’s, frosty blue, and all he could do was sigh.
“What bothers you, my love?” Vilkas’s soft question came.
“I have...something...tell…” Midri muttered, his words getting minced into silence.
“Something to tell me?” His brows furrowed, and he let go of the elf’s face. “Very well. What is it?”
This was the moment he was waiting for, and he swallowed his tongue whole. Beads of sweat collected on his forehead, and he could only whimper at him, eye contact now gone to the door. There was still time to back out, wasn’t there?
This was a mistake. He would hate him.
“Speak” is what he expected him to say, but he stayed silent as the still air. By the concerned look he now bore, his mood appeared to be dropping. It was his fault. He ruined his day.
“Oh Gods, just say it.”
“I’m not a woman, as you’d believe.”
The bomb exploded.
This was a man of little patience he dealt with. Why wasn’t he chewing his ear off?
“And this means…?” Gods bless the Nord, who kept his temper tame.
He willed himself not to choke again. “I feel as though I’m a man, Vilkas.” He nervously chuckled.
Vilkas glanced at his rickety hands and held them steady, giving them a gentle squeeze. “That’s not all as unknown as you’re thinking. I’ve heard people who have transitioned from one to another. Some who go by ‘they’, and not ‘she’ or ‘he’. I’ve read tales of people who disconnect from our binary. You’re not alone in this.”
Midri’s head shot up in shock. Was this true?
“I was...w-worried you would hate me for this.”
His fingers traced the wedding ring bound to the Dunmer’s hand, uttering only a confused ‘hm’.
“Midri, dearest, I married you for who you are. You may think you’ve presented yourself to me changed, but I know that this is merely a veil uncloaked. And this band, here.” He rapped against the ring with his fingertip. “This is a physical manifestation of my unending love for you. Why would I hate you for telling me what your heart truly beats as?” Ever the one to comfort him and ail his woes, Vilkas yet again soothed his nerves.
Not entirely, but it was a start.
“I don’t know. It was silly. I’m sorry for doubting you.” Midri drew his hands away from Vilkas's, only to throw them around his bulky form and collapse into him in a hug. Gently received, Vilkas hugged him back. He hunched over protectively, guarding him in a warm embrace from all of his problems. At least, he so wished it would.
“Don’t be. I love you, and I’ll love you even after the Gods tear Nirn from under our feet.”
Midri’s eyes were now wet.
He was lucky to have him.
“We should tell the others,” he murmured.
His embrace became tighter.
“Only when you’re ready, my love. Only when you’re ready.”