Chapter Text
“Have even you been on a date yet?”
Kai spoke with a mouthful, grilled cheese. Yeonjun had done the courtesy of buying snacks for the evening. Yeonjun looks up from his laptop, a shy grin spread across his face upon mention of his boyfriend.
“Hmm, in fact we haven’t. Both of us have been super busy Kai. Maybe it just… slipped his mind?”, His cheek rested on his hand, he lets out a long sigh. Beomgyu noticed a hint of sadness in his friends longing eyes as he continues to scratch out something in the shape of his pink haired disgruntled friend in front of him.
“Ah no, Soobin is probably planning something. It’s only been like a month since you’ve been together, anyway.”, Beomgyu tries to pull Yeonjun out of his head. He just has a habit of overthinking a lot. It wasn’t fair on him. Beomgyu smiled at his friend, inadvertently also turning pages of his sketch book. He curses under his breath when he catches Kai’s eyes fall onto the drawing.
“Hey is that-”
“Shit!”, Beomgyu’s eyes are wide open in panic as Kai lunges forward to grab the sketch book to take a closer look. “Shut the fuck up Kai.”, Beomgyu almost whacks Yeonjun in the face with the force he pulls his sketchbook back, sinking into his seat, arms close to his chest with the book in a cradle. Now really wasn’t the time to get exposed like that. They can’t know yet that he likes HIM.
“Woah easy there. You know he doesn’t like it when you don’t ask for permission to see his art.”
Beomgyu could honestly kiss Yeonjun right now. He takes this as an opportunity to put his sketchbook away into his backpack while hissing at Kai, pulling his arm to bite. Kai screeches while Yeonjun throws a disapproving glare at both of them. Everyone is silent, the air feels thick as all three of them now try to do the assignment they had all gathered to do in the first place.
Beomgyu is stuck, He cannot think. Bored of his mind he rereads the same paragraph over and over, his eyes skidding over every letter, syllable. His pencil scratches along the side of the page, doodling incriminatingly. Kai can see it from the corner of his eye and yet he chooses not so say anything about it.
After exactly 5 minutes, a huge amount of panting echoes across the hallway, making its way to the front door of the café.
Soobin.
He looked like he ran a marathon. His eyes meet Yeonjun and his look of pain twisted into that of love and calm. He is probably here because of Yeonjun, who also is now sat smiling.
Damn. They really are cute together.
Beomgyu wonders when he’d get to feel something like what they have. Looking down, he continues scribbling.
Soon enough, after half an hour, Beomgyu hears a familiar pitter patter. What is he doing here? His cheeks heat up. Why does he have such an effect on him! It’s literally just Taehyun. Just fucking Taehyun. Beomgyu’s heard shouldn’t be beating this fast. Its just Taehyun, standing there in the campus café, scrolling through his phone like he always does. The morning light cuts through the window, catching in his hair, turning it a softer shade of brown. It shouldn’t make Beomgyu freeze in place. It shouldn’t make his stomach flip like he’s on the drop of a roller coaster.
But it does.
Beomgyu swallows, shoving his hands into the pockets of his hoodie. "You're up early."
Taehyun glances at him, uninterested. "I have class."
Right. Because he’s Taehyun, and he’s responsible and punctual and disciplined—everything Beomgyu is not. He shifts on his feet, debating whether to grab a snack from the counter or retreat before his stupid brain makes this moment any worse. But then, Taehyun speaks again.
"You look terrible."
"Wow, thanks." Beomgyu rolls his eyes, sinking deeper into the chair. "Love the positivity first thing in the morning. Really great for morale." Taehyun hums in response, tapping something on his phone. "Didn’t you have a project due today?"
"Yeah, yeah. It’s done."
"Miracle."
Beomgyu glares at him, but there’s no heat behind it.
“Well! We’ll get going now, me and Binnie have class and so do you, so I will see you guys at dinner!” Yeonjun and Soobin depart, hand in hand while the rest of them start packing up too. Taehyun’s mouth twitches, almost like he’s amused, but he doesn’t give Beomgyu the satisfaction of a full smile. He never does. It’s infuriating. And maybe Beomgyu is imagining it, but he thinks he catches the briefest flicker of something in Taehyun’s eyes before he looks away.
It’s been five months since Beomgyu realized he might—possibly—have feelings for Taehyun. And in that time, he’s gotten precisely nowhere. They still bicker like always. Taehyun still looks at him like he’s an annoyance, but not enough of one to push away completely. And Beomgyu? He still can’t figure out if he’s reading too much into the way Taehyun’s gaze lingers sometimes, or if he’s just setting himself up for disappointment.
And yet, he stays. Because something in him isn’t ready to walk away from this, whatever this is.
The classroom buzzed around the three of them, the hum of low conversation and the scratch of pen and paper filled the air, but Taehyun’s eyes were trained on Beomgyu’s direction, specifically the doodle. His smile was tight, almost like he was waiting for something, or maybe just savoring the moment a little too much.
“You draw really well by the way Beomgyu.”
Huh? Blink once Blink twice.
Taehyun still had his gaze on Beomgyu, a hint of something else on his face as well. He was waiting for a response, smiling eagerly as he looked at the little figure the younger had doodled on his textbook.
“Um… thanks.” Beomgyu mumbled, he wasn’t expecting this. He quickly turned back to his textbook, hoping ot bursh off the warmth creeping up his neck. It wasn’t a big deal. Just a doodle. But the way Taehyun looked at him—expectant, amused—made it feel like it was much more.
Kai, still lounging back in his chair with that stupid smirk of his, noticed the shift. “Didn’t know you were an artist, Beomgyu,” he teased, tapping his pencil against the desk with deliberate slowness, enjoying the tension he was stirring.
“I’m not,” Beomgyu shot back, the words slipping out too quickly. He flipped the page of his textbook, his mind racing to shove away the growing discomfort. But Taehyun was still watching him, his gaze unwavering, like a silent challenge Beomgyu couldn’t quite place.
“Could’ve fooled me,” Taehyun murmured, resting his chin in his hand, his lips twitching as if fighting back a grin that only made Beomgyu more uneasy.
The room seemed to grow quieter, or maybe it was just Beomgyu’s ears ringing with the weight of the moment. There was something suffocating in the air—something in Taehyun’s stare that felt too intense, too insistent.
“You should draw something else,” Taehyun suddenly said, nudging his textbook closer to Beomgyu’s with a soft scrape. His eyes were wide, expectant, and there was a glimmer in them—a gleam that Beomgyu wasn’t sure he wanted to understand.
Beomgyu hesitated, glancing down at the pencil in his hand. “Like what?”
Taehyun shrugged nonchalantly, but the tension in his posture betrayed the casualness of his words. “I dunno. Something cool.”
Beomgyu opened his mouth to respond, but Kai’s voice cut in before he could think of anything. “You just want him to draw you, don’t you?”
The air felt like it froze for a moment. The corner of Taehyun’s mouth twitched, but instead of deflecting, he leaned in a little closer, eyes glinting with mischief. “Think you can handle that?” he asked, his voice low and teasing, but there was something else beneath the playfulness—a challenge, maybe even a dare.
Beomgyu swallowed, feeling the weight of the question pressing against him, his pulse racing in his ears. He couldn’t tell if it was the challenge in Taehyun’s voice or the way Kai’s smirk seemed to stretch wider, but suddenly the pencil in his hand felt like it was made of lead.
“Yeah,” Beomgyu muttered, trying to sound confident, trying to ignore the way his heart rate had picked up. “I can handle it.”
The moment hung there, thick with unspoken implications. Taehyun’s eyes never left him, not even when Beomgyu glanced away, desperately trying to act unaffected. The entire classroom felt like it had faded into the background, leaving just the two of them in that electric silence.
When the bell rang a few moments later, signaling the end of class, Beomgyu couldn’t help but feel a lingering weight in the air. Taehyun was already packing up his things, his smile still there, but now it felt sharper, somehow. Like there was something else he wasn’t saying.
Beomgyu stood up quickly, avoiding Taehyun’s gaze as he gathered his belongings. His mind raced, trying to understand what had just happened. Why had the simple act of drawing felt so charged? Why had Taehyun made it feel like more than just a casual suggestion? He didn’t know. But he couldn’t shake the feeling that something had shifted between them.
Taehyun sat cross-legged on his bed, laptop open but his gaze distant, tracing invisible lines across the screen. His fingers hovered over the keys, but none of it felt real. Not the code, not the work, not even the noise from the hallway. His mind kept drifting back to the classroom, to the way Beomgyu had looked at him after he’d nudged his textbook closer, to the strange feeling that had settled in his chest.
He didn’t hear Soobin walk in, but the sound of the door creaking made him blink back to the present.
“So,” Soobin said, settling on the chair beside him, voice casual but with an edge to it, “how’s the great artist, Beomgyu, doing?”
Taehyun felt a frown tug at his lips. He glanced over at Soobin, unsure of why the mention of Beomgyu felt like it cut deeper than it should.
“I don’t know,” Taehyun muttered.
“Kai told me you looked pretty interested in his little doodles today. Didn’t seem like you were just being polite.”
“I wasn’t,” Taehyun said flatly, shrugging, eyes now fixed on the screen in front of him. His voice was sharp, irritated, as if the question itself annoyed him. “What’s your point?”
Soobin didn’t miss the irritation creeping into Taehyun’s voice. He leaned back in his chair, folding his arms across his chest, trying to gauge Taehyun’s mood. It wasn’t like him to get so defensive.
“I don’t know, man,” Soobin said, his tone light, but there was something a little too knowing behind his words. “Just seemed like you were, I don’t know… maybe paying a little more attention to him than you usually do.”
Taehyun hesitated, eyes flickering to the window, avoiding Soobin’s gaze. He let out a quiet breath, the words bubbling up slowly, like they’d been stuck in his chest for too long.
“I just…” Taehyun trailed off, biting his lip. His hands were shaking slightly as he closed the laptop, the task on screen forgotten. “I don’t think I get it. People like him, I don’t know, they make things feel… lighter, you know? But I don’t get why it matters. Why it has to matter.”
Soobin’s expression softened, the teasing smirk from earlier slipping away. He studied Taehyun for a moment before speaking, his voice gentle, like he was handling something fragile.
“You think it’s all just a distraction?” Soobin asked, his tone quiet but laced with understanding.
Taehyun nodded, a bitter chuckle escaping him. “Yeah. It’s just another thing to worry about. What’s the point in hoping for something that might not even stick around?”
For a long beat, Soobin said nothing. He leaned back in his chair, arms crossed, and let the silence settle between them. Taehyun could feel the weight of Soobin’s gaze on him, but it wasn’t judgment. It was more like he was trying to figure out how to respond, how to break through whatever wall Taehyun had built around himself.
Finally, Soobin spoke again, his voice quiet but firm. “You think you’ve figured it out, huh? That love isn’t worth it?”
Taehyun didn’t answer immediately. His thoughts were tangled, and every word he tried to say felt like it would come out wrong. He wasn’t even sure what he wanted from this conversation.
“I’m not afraid of being alone, I just... don’t think it’s worth it. You get attached, and then what? They leave? Everyone leaves, Hyung. I’m just tired of the whole cycle."
Soobin’s eyes softened, his posture unshifting. “You can’t really know if you don’t try, dude.”
Taehyun’s jaw tightened, his lips pressing into a thin line as he shrugged, his expression guarded again. "I’m just being realistic. Can’t afford to get my hopes up, you know?"
Soobin wasn’t convinced. He could see the struggle in Taehyun’s eyes—the way he wanted to let someone in, but fear kept him at arm’s length. Taehyun’s usual deflection tactics weren’t working this time. Soobin leaned in just a bit, keeping his voice low and steady.
"I get it," Soobin said, his tone more earnest now. "But don’t make yourself believe that love’s just about pain and uncertainty. It’s also about finding someone who'll be there when it matters."
For a moment, Taehyun didn’t respond. His gaze flickered toward Soobin, his eyes lingering longer than usual, but he quickly looked away, as if the weight of the conversation was too much.
"Yeah, well..." Taehyun muttered, more to himself than to Soobin. "Maybe you're right."
Soobin smiled to himself, knowing it wasn’t much, but it was progress. He could tell that Taehyun was starting to think about it, just a little—just enough for now.
Without pushing further, Soobin gave him some space, leaning back in his chair and letting the silence fill the room. Sometimes, he knew, the best thing to do was to leave someone to figure things out on their own.
But as he left the room later that night, he had the feeling that Taehyun wasn’t as far away from admitting the truth as he’d let on.
Back in the café, Beomgyu was still reeling from the compliment. Taehyun had never outright acknowledged his art before, not like this. Sure, he had seen it, glanced at it in passing, but there was something about the way he looked at Beomgyu now that made the younger’s stomach twist into knots.
“Do you want to show me more?”
Beomgyu almost choked on his own spit. His head snapped up, eyes wide with shock. “W-what?”
Taehyun chuckled, propping his chin on his hand. “Your drawings. I’ve always been curious.”
Always?
Beomgyu’s brain short-circuited for a second. The Taehyun he knew wasn’t one to hand out compliments easily, let alone show interest in something like this.
“I mean… they’re not that great,” Beomgyu muttered, rubbing the back of his neck, suddenly feeling self-conscious. “Just some random sketches.”
“Random sketches, huh?” Taehyun quirked a brow, amusement dancing in his eyes. “Then why did you almost kill Kai earlier when he tried to see?”
Kai, who was still sitting across from them, smirked knowingly. “That’s what I’m saying. You were ready to end my whole career over that sketchbook, bro.”
Beomgyu groaned, slumping in his seat. “Because you’re nosy! And you don’t know how to mind your own business.”
Kai shrugged. “Or maybe I’m just a good wingman.”
Beomgyu shot him a glare that promised retribution, but Taehyun only chuckled, reaching for his laptop again. The conversation could have ended there, but then he said, almost too casually, “Well, if you ever feel like sharing, I’d love to see them.”
And just like that, Beomgyu’s heart did a backflip. He wasn’t sure why, but the way Taehyun spoke—like it was no big deal, but with an intensity in his eyes—had Beomgyu flustered in a way he wasn’t used to.
“I—uh…” Beomgyu stammered, trying to form a sentence that didn’t sound completely ridiculous. “I’m not really good at… you know… showing them to people. It’s just… something I do to pass time.” He hated how lame that sounded, but he couldn’t bring himself to admit just how much his art meant to him.
Taehyun leaned back, eyes still on Beomgyu, his lips curling into a faint smile. “Why are you so defensive about it?” he asked, voice soft but probing. “You’re good, I can tell. There’s no reason to hide it.”
Beomgyu shifted uncomfortably in his seat. He didn’t know why this was so difficult. Taehyun had always been so nonchalant, so laid-back, but now… now it felt like there was something deeper behind those words.
“It’s not about being good or not,” Beomgyu finally muttered, avoiding Taehyun’s gaze. “I don’t want anyone seeing what’s… in here.” He tapped his temple lightly, trying to convey that it wasn’t just drawings—it was his thoughts, his feelings, his own messy mind.
For a moment, Taehyun didn’t respond. He just watched Beomgyu, his gaze steady and contemplative. Beomgyu could feel the weight of it but couldn’t meet his eyes. There was something about the way Taehyun was looking at him that made his chest tighten. Was Taehyun really that interested? Or was he just indulging in some playful teasing?
Kai, who had been sitting quietly for a few moments, piped up, “Just show him, man. He’s like a dog with a bone. Once he’s curious, there’s no stopping him.”
Beomgyu shot Kai another glare. “Thanks, I’ll keep that in mind,” he muttered, but the edge of his sarcasm was weak.
Taehyun leaned forward then, eyes suddenly more serious. “No, I mean it, Beomgyu. If you ever decide you want to show someone… I’m here.” His voice was soft, almost gentle, and it made Beomgyu feel strangely vulnerable.
The tension in the air thickened, and Beomgyu couldn’t find the words to respond. His mind was too full of the warmth that was spreading through him at the thought of Taehyun actually wanting to see his work.
But before he could say anything, Taehyun pulled back with a light chuckle, as if the moment had passed. “Anyway,” he said with a shrug, “no pressure. Just thought I’d ask.”
Beomgyu let out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding, still processing the exchange. “I’ll think about it,” he said, his voice quiet but earnest.
Taehyun smiled again, and this time, it was more than just a teasing smirk—it was warm, genuine. “Take your time,” he said.
As the conversation shifted, Beomgyu couldn’t shake the feeling that something between them had changed. It wasn’t just about art anymore. It was something deeper, something unspoken that made his heart race a little faster. Maybe, just maybe, Taehyun wasn’t as indifferent as Beomgyu had always believed.
Later that evening, after they had all parted ways, Beomgyu found himself lying on his bed, staring up at the ceiling, Taehyun’s words playing on a loop in his mind. His sketchbook sat beside him, untouched.
Show him more? Was he serious?
He hadn’t expected the question to affect him this much. It wasn’t just curiosity in Taehyun’s voice—it was something else. Something unspoken, maybe even a hint of… something more. Beomgyu let out a slow breath, letting the weight of the moment settle into him.
His fingers traced over the cover of the sketchbook absentmindedly, the soft texture of the leather grounding him in the present. He glanced at the pages beneath, where so many of his thoughts and feelings lay hidden, exposed only to him. The idea of showing it to someone else—especially Taehyun—felt like a huge leap.
A small smile crept onto his lips as he remembered the way Taehyun had said it, like he wasn’t pressing, like it wasn’t a big deal, but the quiet sincerity in his voice had made Beomgyu’s heart flutter unexpectedly.
Maybe, just maybe, he would.
The thought lingered in his mind, though he wasn’t sure when or how he would be ready to let anyone in, least of all Taehyun. But for the first time in a long time, Beomgyu felt the possibility, like a spark he hadn’t been looking for, but one that was suddenly there—just within reach.
He closed his eyes, picturing Taehyun’s face as he’d said those words. He wasn’t sure what it meant, but it felt like a promise, a quiet invitation.
Someday, Beomgyu thought, fingers still resting on the cover of his sketchbook.
Someday, he would show him.