Chapter Text
I sat beside my mother at the dais. Rows of long banquet tables stretched before us, set perpendicular to our own, filled with guests engaged in chatter and laughter. Yet my thoughts were louder than the noise of the great hall. I must have lingered in them too long—my mother cleared her throat, a quiet reminder of where we were and what was expected of me.
The hall quieted as I rose from my chair, goblet of deep red wine in hand. The words came like they were the only ones I had ever known. I delivered them clearly, loud enough for all to hear.
But they didn’t feel like mine.
I mindlessly carried the toast through to the end. Lifting the goblet to my lips, I took a sip before sitting back down. I could feel my mother’s gaze on me. She might have noticed, but it wouldn’t have mattered either way, since things went flawlessly.
My exceptional jester, Cygnus, then walked in with pride, as though he knew the attention of the entire room was already on him. His long black hair cascaded behind him, golden streaks catching the light with every step, flowing like a dark river streaked with veins of molten gold.
Once he stepped onto the stage at the far end of the hall, his eyes immediately sought out mine, dismissing the other nobles entirely. The moment I noticed him, he offered a cheeky grin, then dipped into an extravagant bow—so theatrical, it nearly mocked the very formality it mimicked.
Only then did he turn his attention to the court, who watched with amusement and expectation, already anticipating the show to come.
The hall was bathed in a warm glow, yet his presence made it feel dimmer, as if the air itself shifted around him. Or perhaps, only my gaze did.
“Have you folks ever heard of the story of The Nightingale and the Rose? I will cut it short to spare our darling prince from boredom. It is his birthday, after all!” Cygnus began to entertain the guests with one of his lively performances.
To the other nobles, this was merely the jester’s role—to entertain and amuse.
But to me, it was art disguised in levity.
He wasn’t only putting on a show; there was always more than met the eye, a deeper narrative woven through his humor that spoke to the heart of only those who knew how to listen.
.
.
.
Hundreds of invitations had been delivered to nobles whose faces I couldn’t remember. The entire palace seemed to dart back and forth. The sound of dishes clattering and distant chatter could be heard at every corner. I understand that my eighteenth birthday was a big deal or something, but all that preparation made me feel unsettled in my own home.
I moved to my room with the intention of spending the rest of my day there doing something fun, like reading books, conducting poetry analysis, or learning more about our kingdom’s history.
Though, before I could decide, a knock sounded at the door. I open it only to be greeted by my mother’s stoic face. I hoped I hadn’t done something to warrant that expressionless… expression?
She walked in, then I closed the door behind her. I felt it would be rude to ask why she was there, so I waited for her to speak first. She took a seat then encouraged me to follow suit. We sat across from each other, and I, once again, sensed the need to remain silent.
“So,” she started. “Regarding your birthday banquet, Sirius, I would like you to socialize with as many nobles as possible. Connections are essential for those next to the throne and will come in handy when time is due.”
I mentally sighed. Not at her words; I can socialize just fine. But, rather, at the part that followed.
“Keep in mind that you will have to get married eventually. Maybe not this month if you are not ready; however, it would be beneficial to make up your mind soon. Find someone fit for this title, someone you think is fit for this title. Do not disappoint me, Sirius.”
I felt a pit in my stomach hearing those words come out of her mouth. I only nodded; there wasn’t much for me to say either way. She got up and slowly yet steadily walked to the door, glancing back at me for a moment before taking her leave.
The second the door closed behind her, I leaned back against the couch’s headrest then grabbed a pillow and hid my face in it, letting out an exhale I had been holding.
Love was a form of beauty I couldn’t help but feel drawn to. I had never fallen in love, but reading romance novels made me yearn for such an experience.
Though, when it came to marriage, seeking a suitor, whom you were going to spend the rest of your life with, in the span of a month sounded absurd—especially finding someone ‘fit for the title’. I knew Mother must have invited nobles my age, so I could use that opportunity to get to know them, but… what if they weren’t what I imagined?
Do not disappoint me, Sirius.
Her words echoed at the back of my head like a distorted melody. I couldn’t afford to mess things up. I had to try.
I then got up and made my way to the great hall, where the banquet would be held. I walked in on some of my butlers setting up the decorations. Ever since I was a kid, I had admired their dedication and used to offer help or pass my praise. And while they would smile at me and ruffle my hair, there was still an uncomfortable tension in the air.
Was it because I was the child of the sovereign? Mother had told me not to give such matters more thought than necessary, so I started to nod my head and briefly thank them—as rude and authoritative as I felt doing so.
There wasn’t much for me to do, and I didn’t want to get in the way, so I decided to have a stroll in the garden.
Once I walked out, I saw my family’s jester watering the roses that were basking under the sun’s warmth. He always did his own thing, and no one ever questioned it. We were around the same age, yet he appeared happier, carefree. Upon noticing me standing there, he turned around and grinned.
“Ah, your highness!” He cheerfully greeted me while slowly stepping closer, white rose in hand. “Perfect timing!” His grin widened as he handed me the rose and gently placed a hand on my waist, causing my shoulders to stiffen. “Happy birthday, my dearest prince. Do you feel any wiser now that you’re eighteen?” I looked up from the rose directly into his eyes, slightly flustered by the hand placement and his endearing tone.
“Thank you, Cygnus. Uhm… I don’t… know? How is that supposed to feel?” I slightly tilted my head as I asked. He let out an amused chuckle at my confusion.
“I don’t know either. Thought you might have a clue.”
I quietly sighed and took his hand off of my waist. His grin only seemed to grow no matter what I did.
“Are you disappointed? How would you want to feel on such an occasion?”
And this was how he gave me something to think about. It had never occurred to me that I was supposed to feel a certain way on my birthday. Still, I was too curious to let it go, so I decided to wait for the dimming of the night for people to show up, hoping there would be someone I could confide in.
Upon my lack of a response, Cygnus interrupted my thoughts.
“Absolutely exhilarated, I hope! I prepared a special show for tonight, so look forward to it, will you?” He winked at me, and I couldn’t help but smile, promising him I would.