Chapter Text
Hope’s Peak Academy was the most elite school in the country, and maybe even the world. What set it apart wasn’t an amazing facility (which it had), or the best teachers (which it had), no- it was the students. Everyone who has ever been taught there is the best in some field, any field, be it programming, modeling, or anything else. Going to that school means that you’re going to be guaranteed a good life, because going there means you are on a whole different level.
That’s what my dad has told me since I was a little kid, and he should know, he and my mom both went there.
He says he was a lot different back then.
“Yeah, I didn’t have a lot of confidence when I was your age, and I was even shorter than I am now, if you can believe that. Your mother had to help me overcome my insecurity because I had felt like I was a really weak person.” He would usually start blushing by now, I thought it was because he still wasn’t a super extroverted and confident person, and he didn’t want it to sound like he was condoning his youth.
But he never really told me the real reason behind his embarrassment about his youth until the night I was packing my bags to go the school myself. I was folding some dress pants and trying to put them in as neatly as possible into my crimson duffel bag so I could avoid looking like a crumpled six foot tall hooligan when I heard his knock on my door.
“H-hey! Can I come in?”
Looks like he’s nervous, I had thought. He only stutters when he needs to tell me something he is conflicted about telling me about. Or when his boss or that bitch wrote him a particularly scathing email. I don’t even get it, he’s an amazing programmer, and he does everything his clients ask to a t and with time to spare, so his boss is just being unreasonable for no reason. He’s probably just taking the fact that his wife left him out on my dad, but it’s really no excuse.
“Yeah, duh. I’m packing, please let yourself in.”
I heard the door open, and his feet scuff the floor as he shuffled in, shutting the door behind him with a fake smile. He sat on my bed with a little bit of a bounce as he flopped down on it, trying to convince me he wasn’t bothered by something.
I waited for him to speak and zipped the bag up with a satisfying zzzzzzzzz! sound that meant I would be ready to go in the morning.
I looked up at him and smiled encouragingly, so that way he knew he could talk to me. In more than a few ways, I was his dad, even if he was the one who taught me html.
“Ronin,” he started, looking at me smiling, and hopefully calming down a little. “First off, I want you to know that you are going to love it at Hope’s Peak. And that you don’t need to worry about trying to break your mom’s old records at archery, you’ll whoop her. Even when she was a Super High School Female Archer, she never practiced as much as you do.” He took a second to wipe his tearing up eyes with the back of his hand, and took a deep breath. I was surprised he hadn’t started shaking yet, like he usually does when someone brings up Mom. And I don’t blame him.
Mom had died a long time ago, been killed by some yakuza scum. Those assholes left her body in an alleyway in Ueno, after they beat her skull in with a baseball bat. She hadn’t died immediately, according to the coroner. She tried crawling away, and left a blood trail for a few yards until blood pooled enough in her brain and she died.
I got up onto the bed, and sat next to Dad, and hunched over a little, so he didn’t have to think about how much taller I was than him.
He sniffed and kept going, “I know you are going to do fine, because we raised a great guy. I know it’s been tough, and it might get tougher.” He smiled a little. “After all, you gotta keep your grades up and practice a lot in a different place, with different people. But that’s what is going to make it amazing and your high school years will stay with you forever. Whenever you miss me, and I hope you do a little-”
“No dur Dad.” I interrupted, prompting him to giggle a little bit. “Do continue.”
“Thanks. Anyways, just know that you can call me whenever and you can always come down on the weekends. Plus your cousin Ruri will be there, she can always help.”
I started laughing at that. “I think she takes more after Uncle Mondo than Uncle Taka, so I don’t know how good she’ll be at helping me hit the books.”
Dad rolled his eyes at my comment about Ruri. “I do admit that may be true, but Taka wouldn’t let her get by without at least above average grades. At any rate, you could need someone you know well, ok?”
I nodded. It’s not like Ruri and I don’t get along or anything, so at least I don’t have to worry about sitting alone at the lunch table for the first few days.
“Anyway, I need to stop avoiding this.” My dad’s expression went back to one of seriousness and nerves.
I looked at him with wary eyes, unsure about what he was afraid to tell me. I didn’t want to try to guess, because I really didn’t have a clue.
“Ronin. I want for you to always be yourself, and to never be ashamed of who you are or think that you are too weak or lesser than anyone. I never felt confident about myself when I was your age, you know that.
“I hope you don’t think lesser of your old man when I say this, but in order to try and hide my weakness I…” he hesitated for a split second while he brought his courage up, leaving me to worry for a brief moment that he had taken drugs or broke the law.
He took a breath and looked me in the eyes, shame clouding them.
“I used to cross dress.”
I froze for a second when I heard that. It wasn’t a reaction of disgust or anything like that. I was shocked still with the revelation that he finally confided this in me, something he was clearly ashamed about, and that it seemed like something nowhere near as major as he thinks it is. I met up with his eyes again, and the panic that was present made me realize he took my reaction in a the wrong way.
He lowered his eyes so they no longer met mine, and shrank even smaller. He opened his mouth to speak, to probably explain himself or something stupid, but I flicked him on the shoulder, shocking him into stopping.
I smiled at him, chuckling. “Like with a skirt?”
His face turned red, but he smiled, so I guess I said the right thing. He nodded, body losing its tension with nod.
“Tell me, did you or did you not wear heels? Are they as much of a pain to walk in as they say? And does this mean you got to use the girl’s locker room and-”
His eyes widened and he put his hand over my mouth very quickly, and I started laughing behind it. I licked the palm of his hand, which made him release my face as fast as he could. He wiped his palms off on his shirt and play scowled at me.
“Yeah, I’m not so sure you’re ready for highschool, Ronin. I mean, you’re still using licking as a form of defense.” His comment was rewarded with a hard flick to his nose.
He grimaced and wrapped his hands around his nose and spoke through them, muffling his voice a little. “And no, I did not wear heels, though I did hear from girls that it was awful. And a even bigger no to using the girl locker rooms. I had a special pass from the school that let me change in the nurse’s office. Bless that nurse, she was a student herself, and she never told anyone my secret.”
He put his fingers under his chin, in thought. It always looked kinda comical when he did it, but I probably look just as goofy doing it myself. “If I am remembering right, her daughter is going to be in your class too. I have no clue what her talent is, but considering her mother’s gift for medicine, it’s probably somewhere along those lines.”
He looked at me, then grinned. “But then again all my friends are confused about how you aren’t a computer sciences prodigy.”
My head sunk down a little, because I knew I wasn’t enough like my dad to enjoy that. He must have seen it, because he started shaking his head.
“I didn’t mean it like that, you know. I’m glad you are so talented at archery, and I love that you love it. I will always support you as long as you try your hardest and love what you do. I’m sorry if you don’t hear that enough.”
He put his hand on my shoulder, and squeezed it.
“Just don’t end up a crossdresser like I did because you’re insecure.”
I chuckled at that.
“It’s not like you’d do that, you already have tons confidence to sustain your self worth. You’ve already done so much incredible stuff and you’re so young, and I can’t wait for you to use all your potential, because you’re not just an amazing archer, but a great person too. I love you, and don’t ever forget that you are the upgrade, the 2.0 to me and your mom. Just don’t forget us outdated tech, ok?”
I smiled at that, an extra wide one that crinkled my eyes, and hugged him. He didn’t hesitate to hug me back, and started crying into my shoulder.
I whispered in his ear, “Damnit old man, now I’m really gonna miss you now.”
“Then let me make your lunch for tomorrow.” I could hear the cheeky smile in his whispered reply.
“I’m not gonna miss you that much that I’d risk poisoning from your awful food. But I’m willing to compromise, so I’ll take you out to dinner next Friday night after class is over. Deal?”
He let go of me and wiped his nose with the back of his sleeve, and held out his opposite hand for me to shake.
“Deal. Man’s promise.”
I chuckled at the stupid expression he and his friends used to use to make their promises more binding then threatening to cut off their finger.
I took his hand, and shook it.
“The man’s promise binds you.”
~~~~~
The next morning while trying to stay awake on the subway, I texted my dad to tell him I was a stop away. When the disembodied voice told me to politely get the fuck off the train if my destination was Hope’s Peak Station, I grabbed my cargo bag and suitcase and rolled onto the station floor. Even at seven in the morning the platform was crazy packed, so it took ages for me to get out of the station.
Right across from the station named after the school was Hope's Peak’s main building, so large that it hid the rest of campus from sight. At the big double doors that every student uses as the portal to the world of the school there was a hand written sign that stated for first years to Take a nametag and write your name, talent, and where you’re from. The blank nametags were in a small box on the ground to the right of the door, and inside the box there was an assortment of colored pens and markers to write with.
I took a nametag and wrote my information down as it said, and stuck it to the upper right part of my shirt so I didn’t cover up my daisy pin on my left side. It didn’t make much sense why we had to have them, because we would just introduce ourselves anyways, but I kinda liked the shade of chartreuse I picked, so I’m not gonna complain.
I stood in front of the door for a few moments longer, thinking about last night and trying to dry the sweat from my palms on my jeans. I hadn’t thought about this before now, but I have never gone to a school where I couldn’t go home and see my dad, and I knew one person here.
Stop it Ronin, I told myself. This is much too late for regrets, you need to get inside, you look like a weirdo just standing here. What if another new student saw you loitering here?
The prospect of embarrassing myself before I even entered the school was a fearful one, so I took a deep breath and grabbed the handle of the door. I twisted my wrist, opening the doors without so much as a creak from the door.
To be honest, I’m scared.
But I don’t want to go back home, figurative tail between my legs and never get to do anything greater with my life. Archery is the best thing in my life, but even I know it won’t last for the rest of my life. The body just doesn’t work that way.
So I have to do this. No matter how scared I am now of becoming the Super Highschool Level Failure.
Fifteen seconds of courage is something my dad taught me to help me get through things that I was scared of doing. So I counted down the seconds in my head as I crossed the threshold.
1. I stepped into the entrance hall.
2. I stopped and looked around.
3. I didn't see anyone, the hall was empty.
4. Where is everyone?
5. Shouldn’t all the new people with me be in here?
6. Am I late?
7. I checked my phone for the time.
8. It was 7:34am, and check in starts at 8am. Nope, not late, super early.
9. I unzipped my bag.
10 and 11. I grabbed a book from my bag to read to pass time.
11. When I did, my vision started getting blurry.
12, 13, and 14. The blurriness darkened into a total lack of vision, and I lost consciousness.
I never did reach my fifteen seconds.