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“Why… why did you say that?”
Kuro looked around, just to be sure that Madara was actually talking to him. He just walked in the room and his friend didn't even look at him before saying that, so he was just mildly confused.
“I just got here?” He made him notice, hoping to get an actual answer.
He huffed, finally looking at him. “During our Shuffle project, you said something. We were filming, you broke character to talk to me.”
He vaguely remembered it, and it was true that he took that occasion to hint at the fact that he liked him, but it was just weird that he'd bring it up now. It was almost a year ago, after all.
“Are ya still thinkin’ ‘bout that?” He asked, stepping closer without sitting next to him. He stood near him and looked at him, waiting for an eventual answer.
He sighed and shrugged, a little annoyed by the additional question. “Just… answer me.”
Kuro noticed the lower tone he used, probably meaning he wanted to have a serious conversation about it. They both avoided to talk about it and it was understandable that Madara would want to finally unwrap that topic.
He sighed, before looking at him again. “‘Cause it's the truth.” He almost whispered, with a warm tone that he absolutely had no intention to use. Although, it almost felt like it was fitting the situation, so he kept using it. “I thought ya felt the same.” He added, sounding almost ashamed of it.
He didn't know why he said that, but he wanted him to know about his feelings. He had some suspects that he felt something for him too, but he never dared to actually ask him. The friendship they had was precious to him, and he didn't want to risk it.
“Kuro-san…” Madara sighed, looking up to him, “you know what it can mean, right?”
“What if that was the meanin' I wanted to get across without having to straight up tellin’ ya? Did ya notice just now?” He rebutted, almost amused at how long it took him to figure it out.
Madara took his hand, visibly doubtful of what to do next. He just rubbed his thumb against the back of his hand, deep in thought.
His friend sighed, but he let him continue. “Look, I don't wanna change this. It's nice, what we have now.” He clarified, wanting to be sure that his thoughts went across. “But… I guess that I wanted ya to know. I'm not even sure of what I feel, maybe it's just friendship, but it's… it feels different.”
“Don’t be nervous.”
“‘m not.”
“You’re talking way too much and way too fast. That's exactly what you do when you're nervous.”
Kuro stopped himself from answering, leaving his mouth half open for a few seconds before closing it. “Sorry.” He settled on instead, just whispering it.
On his part, Madara just smiled, before pulling him in by his hand, letting him fall on his lap. He was able to stop himself in time, but he still ended up with a knee between his legs, a hand on his shoulders and their fingers intertwining, all the while being mere centimeters away from him. He could feel his breathing on his lips and a hand resting on his side too.
He was sure that he wouldn't survive this.
He had no idea where he wanted to go with that either, but his mind was wandering in dangerous places that he absolutely couldn’t lean into right now.
Madara looked at him with way too much intensity in his eyes. “Do you have any idea of what I felt when I heard those words coming out of your mouth?” He just whispered, almost in a challenging tone.
“Yer not exactly the most open guy in the world and ya didn’t even mention it until now, so excuse me for not even botherin’ to wonder somethin’ like that.” He responded, maybe sounding a little too offended than what he meant to.
He didn't even bother to correct himself, since he knew that Madara liked it, for some reason. He said that it kept their relationship exciting when he lightly took offense at something he said, and that he was cute when he was a little angrier than usual.
Frankly, he should have understood that he liked him back and gathered the courage to tell him before ending up here, but he was never the person to understand anything that easily.
Madara hugged him all of a sudden, burning his face in his chest and letting go of his hand, opting to hug his waist with both of his arms. Kuro, on his part, was a little confused, but he still caressed his hair and laid an arm on his shoulder.
“You saved my life. Back then, when we talked near your family's tomb. You lightened a path for me to walk on that wasn't full of violence, darkness and vengeance. You casted a light on a path that I could follow, that deep down I knew I had to be on instead.” Madara mumbled below him, fully knowing he could listen to him. He stood in silence for a few seconds before adding, “I've always admired you, since that day.”
He let out a small laugh, finally sitting down on his lap, still facing him. “Ya’d have found it anyway, eventually.” He sighed, as seriously as he could.
“It would have always been too late.”
“And yet, ya still took that path I tried to hard to push ya out of.”
At those words, Madara lifted his head, looking at his friend with a sorrowful expression that was probably meant to be menacing or angry.
That spoke for itself, regardless of what he would have said.
“Double Face isn’t part of this.” He only said, almost on the defensive.
Kuro honestly understood why he was feeling the need to defend it, since it was part of his choices, but it was heartbreaking hearing him use a tone like that. He sounded miserable every time he recalled that time. He was sad all the time too, back then. He genuinely just didn't like to stay there. It recalled bad memories from his childhood, he was forced to do things that he didn't want to, he had to give up on MaM and the future he wanted to reach.
Truthfully, the only thing he didn't dislike was bonding with Kohaku, but even then he didn't feel like he could tell him most things, due to how much younger he was. He lost count of the time he phoned him instead at ungodly hours, even if he did always answer him.
At the same time, though, he put effort into Double Face too, and it was something he did for a year. It was hard to count it all as lost time.
He sighed, before shrugging. “Oh, but it is. Did ya not fall into old habits? The idol vigilantes, savin’ innocent people from the evil within the industry with dirty methods. Isn’t that just another dark path ya embarked on?”
He wanted him to understand it. He didn't hate his time in Double Face, he hated seeing most of the consequences of it. He was always sad, miserable and angry, and he could hardly hide it in the way he always did, around him. It was exhausting.
He was glad he could help him to get back on his feet, but he could also be conflicted over him always putting him on a pedestal for saving him back then, as if he didn't stumble back on a dark path after that and that experience didn't change him at all.
He noticed it. The sudden drop of his mask, the low energy a lot of the time, how often he called him out of need or to have someone he felt safe around to pass the time. That little side-quest he was having was making his life worse.
Of course, there were positive changes too, but it just hurt seeing him in that state, especially after he tried so hard to take a different path from his parents’. He didn't even have MaM to go back to.
“‘m not judgin’ ya,” he precised after a few seconds on silence, “but ya’ve changed after that.”
Madara looked at him with a confused stare, visibly conflicted on what to think about what he just said. “In what way?” He asked in the end, in an almost flat tone.
“In a lot of ways, both for the better and the worse.” He caressed his cheek, before biting his lower lip. “Ya were sadder more often, but ya started trustin’ people a lil’ more. It was an experience that changed ya, but yer the same one I told that to.”
It was the same person. That was still the Madara Mikejima that always wanted to hang out with him, the same one that called him in the dead of the night and the same one who always wanted to fight him, rather than talk to him. He was still his extremely important friend.
“What does that mean?” Madara asked, still a little confused.
He smiled, with a fondness that he couldn't fully hold back. “That ya grew up, but yer still my bosom friend, Mikejima.” He whispered, almost as if he was speaking into the world a promise that he wasn't sure he could keep.
He hummed, pouting at him. “When will you stop calling me that, then?”
Kuro blinked for a second. Calling him what? Mikejima? Did he suddenly realize that he didn't like it? Or did he want to have some kind of special treatment?
Truthfully, he didn't know the answer to any of these questions. He could understand it was about the way he addressed him, but he didn't understand how that was so much of a problem when he used if for the past few years.
He sighed, before directly asking him, “Is it a problem now?”
“You’re here saying how special I am and how you have deeper feelings for me and then you just call me like everyone else?”
“Fuckin’ hell, yer so jealous. Of who, though?”
“Some people get to be with you all day and-”
Kuro only let out a small laugh, but it apparently was enough to shut him up. “Really… Even Kanzaki?” He asked, now a little curious.
He rolled his eyes and huffed, evidently a little offended by that. “Don’t you think I know what that looks like?”
“Alright, Madara it is.” He hugged him, as if to ask forgiveness for laughing at him. “Is that fine?” He asked again, before adding, “Or d’ya prefer honey? Babe? Sweetheart?”
Madara immediately turned his head as he puffed his cheek, his skin around his nose and cheeks visibly darker. He never saw him blushing, but he was adorable, and the fact that he was the one who accomplished it just made him happier.
“Shut up.” He quickly said, to avoid talking about it.
Unluckily for him, though, Kuro loved seeing him like that. “Ya like ‘em, though. Yer all red.” He whispered, barely brushing his hand against his neck. He obviously liked the touch, so he reached his cheek with a hand, moving his thumb in relaxing circles on his skin.
As soon as Madara looked at him again, though, Kuro dived down to leave sweet kisses between his jaw and neck, not minding the fastened breathing from him.
“They’re all fer ya.” He whispered, right next to his ear, and he felt on his skin the goosebumps he got from that sentence alone. “I’ll only call ya that when we’re alone, how does that sound?”
He let out a shaky sigh, before leading his hands to Kuro’s hair to caress them. “Impossible, honestly.” He answered, obviously still trying to process what was going on now.
“Why? I can call ya sunshine right now.” Kuro teased him, taking his head away from where it was to look at him.
He wasn't blushing. He was just staring with excitement at the prospect of that pet name being uttered by him and only for him.
Kuro smiled and leaned in again, close to his lips, but never kissing him. “Oh, ya like that more than the others.” He whispered, his voice a little lower than usual. “I can check in on ya more often, by the way. Everyone always tells me ya mention me all the time, d’ya miss me that much?”
He rolled his eyes, looking away from him. “You have no idea, do you?” He asked, before turning back to look at him after sighing. “Do you remember when I joked about you leaving AKATSUKI and joining me instead? I wasn't serious, but I can't lie and say it isn't something I thought about.”
He knew that already.
He suspected that it was something he wanted, from how excited he was at every opportunity he had of working with him. He knew Keito would probably hate him for thinking it was cute and he entertained the idea, but he couldn't help it. Whenever he looked so excited just because they could work together, his mind wandered.
He probably would have been a different person if that happened instead. Maybe, Madara could have suffered less and have someone he could fully rely on more often.
It was useless, though. They don't live in that possibility. They both made their decisions, and they were both fine with the lives they chose.
Kuro caressed his forehead and bangs affectionately, with a calm smile on his face. “Doesn’t matter. No one can take your place, Madara.” He whispered, resisting the urge to kiss him right there and then, for both of their wellbeing.
He did, however, cup his face with both of his hands and laid his forehead on his, smiling. “I see ya. It took me a while, but I do now. I wanna keep lovin’ the Madara that I've learned to know, both in the good and in the bad. And I wanna keep feelin' like I do right now.”
Madara let out a shaky breath and pulled him closer, before reaching out to brush his cheeks.
That was really the only push he needed.
In a fraction of second he was kissing him repeatedly, and Madara kissed him back every single time. This was something that he thought about so many times that he didn't believe that it was actually happening, and angled his head up to have better access to his lips.
He only let go when he has to catch his breath again, and it was then that Madara started crying. Kuro blinked when he noticed, almost amazed by it, before smiling kindly at him.
Without a second word, he rested both of his hands on Madara's cheeks and stroked the hair around them, as he laid his forehead on his again.“Hey, a kiss is what'll make ya cry?” He whispered, his tone loving and sweet. “Ya've always been strong and ya break down ‘cause I love ya? 'Cause I wanna know yer loved jus' the way you are?”
Madara sniffled in silence for a few seconds, before whispering a small, “Kuro-san…”
He kissed him again with a smile on his face. “I’ll save ya as many times as it's necessary, until ya realize ya deserve it. Madara.” He caressed his cheek with his thumb, kissing him again on the forehead. “Ya deserve to be cherished. So, stop cryin'.”
That just worsened the situation.
Madara started bawling, and the only thing Kuro could do was hugging him and let him cry in his chest.
“Shh, it's okay. 'M here, babe.” He whispered, running his hand through his hair to calm him down. “'M always here fer ya.” He whispered, then left an affectionate kiss on the top of his head.
He just hugged him back, closing his fists around his clothes. They stood like this for a while, before Madara mumbled, “I… I love you so much.”
Kuro froze immediately, but quickly started to pet his hair again, maybe realizing that it was hard for him to say that and he needed a little support, so he hid that shock and listened to what he had to say.
He raised his head and smiled at him, his eyes sparkling. “You’re always so kind to me, and you understand me immediately, and you protect me, and you get angry on my behalf, and-”
“Shh, sweetheart.” Kuro laughed, giving him a kiss to try and calm him down. “I'd do all of that and more fer ya. I love ya so, so much. Cry as much as ya wanna.” He whispered, sure he'd just try to kiss him again.
Instead, though, he leaned in to rest his head on his chest and swung his arms around his shoulders.
Kuro smiled and hugged him, letting him stay in that position. “Lean on me, for a change. It's fine not to save everyone else, sometimes.” He whispered to him as he rubbed his hand on his back.
“You’re the one to talk.” Madara huffed, with a joking tone.
His partner smiled too, since he wasn't entirely wrong. It was true, he had to learn to lean more on someone else too. The thought that they could do it together, for each other, was almost exciting, honestly. He wouldn't have it any other way.
“I love you too.” Madara whispered all of a sudden, before raising his head. He looked at him, avoiding to comment on how shocked he looked. “I didn't- I want this to end well.” He almost confessed to him, even if a little hesitantly.
Kuro stared at him for a second, before letting out a laugh and blushing slightly. “Ya can be adorable sometimes, y'know?” He commented, as fondly as he possibly could.
Seeing him like that almost shocked Madara and he just stared at him for a few seconds, before puffing his cheek and pouting, clearly embarrassed.
“This is what I get when I'm honest with you…” He sighed, clearly teasing him.
As a response, Kuro smiled at him and stood up, lending a hand to Madara. He looked at it for a second before accepting it and standing up as well.
As he looked over to his friend, he noticed that he seemed almost conflicted. He didn't know what he was thinking, but he could guess that he wasn't sure about their situation now.
“This changes nothing.” Madara told him then, smiling at him. “The bosom friend thing. We still are. Us having feelings for each other doesn't change that.”
Kuro looked at him for a second, before smiling back at him. “Sure,” he sighed, “I'd trust ya with my life. That goes without sayin'.”
He smiled brightly at him, before throwing himself at him and swinging his arms around his shoulders. Kuro just laid his hands around his waist, and let him steal another kiss. It wasn't long or too deep, just one to let him know that their friendship wouldn't have suffered or changed even if they decided to act on their feelings.
It wasn't something he had full trust in, but he knew that not he or Kuro would have bargained it for anything else in the world. Both of them made it clear throughout the past two years.
For once, he wanted to believe in something giving him happiness. He wanted to try it with someone he trusted and could rely on. If it was anyone else, he wouldn't have even thought about it.
“Madara?” Kuro called out, probably noticing that he was lost in his thoughts.
He excitedly smiled at him, brightly and happily. “It rolls off right! My name.”
Kuro let out a laugh, before kissing him on his cheek. “How sappy.” He fondly whispered, with a tone so affectionate that he couldn't even help to use.
Maybe he was already too far gone, after a year of having those feelings for him, but he didn't care much. He was just happy that he could do something about them and to get some in return. It was something that he didn't think was possible, so he was beyond glad to accept him as his significant other.
Madara, though, didn't indulge in it any longer.
“Well? Hop hop, Kuro-san! We have places to be!” He yelled, grabbing him by the wrist and dragging him along out of the room.
He followed him, still a little confused, but he smiled and nodded, finally starting to pick up his pace.
He felt his heart beat more rapidly, and a weird warmth spreading in his chest, almost like a tree forming its roots. He closed his eyes and nodded, just to realize that this was what he wanted. He wanted to see all of Madara, and for him to accept his love and be happier in return.
That was all he wanted. He wanted them to be happy. He wanted to see Madara genuinely smile, for once.
Knowing that this was a reality now just made him unbelievably happy, and he hoped to only feel those emotions and see them on Madara's face.
He just wanted to feel his heart beat at the same time as his, just like he did now. They both deserved it, after everything they went through, and he was willing to wish it upon both, for Madara as well.
They will be happy. That was all he'd work towards. It was a promise that he wouldn't break, or his very heart would stop beating.