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I can't fight this time now.
Did I disappoint you? Will they still let me over if I cross the line?
-The Line. Twenty One Pilots.
Runaan, I’m gonna ask you to do something...
Those words ricocheted in his head as his hands traced the words on his sketchbook.
Callum usually didn’t tear off any page. If he wanted to give Ez a drawing or hang something on his wall, he would draw it on loose paper. But this was an exception, an unfortunate exception.
He would need to give the letter to Runaan, and a single page was easier to carry than a whole book. Plus Rayla wouldn’t notice it at first.
His throat constricted to think about her.
I've got a plan , he had told her. It felt wrong to give her hope only to rip it away from her.
Dear Rayla…
Callum sighed. He needed to be quick, yet the words didn’t flow. A million things he wanted to say collided into five: I love you, I’m sorry.
Once Runaan ended up with his check on Akiyus’ stuff to make sure Claudia hadn’t taken anything dangerous and to gather items that might help them, his time would be up.
I’m sorry. If you’re reading this is because my plan, the one you probably didn’t know about until it was too late, was successful. Which, is the most plausible thing if we’re being honest.
We need to do anything to stop Aaravos. I need to do anything to keep you safe, to secure you a life of happiness beside your dads.
Even if I’m not there physically, you’ll always have me, in every breath you take, when the tide grows and unfolds trying to reach the moon, remember me because I’ll be there, looking out for you, even if it’s from the other side.
Please tell Ezran I love him and that I’m sorry too . And let Soren know he’s the best sword-fighting teacher I could’ve wished for when I was fourteen.
Above all, and as impossible as it may seem by the time you read this, be as happy as you can, Rayla.
Happy, excited, unstressed, dorky Rayla is my favorite kind of Rayla.
The air seemed to be heavier with every line his hands traced on the paper, his eyes were getting cloudy. Callum sniffled trying not to cry or otherwise he would screw the ink.
I’ve so many things to say to you, Rayla, and I know you already know some of them . You are, literally, the reason I’m where I am now . Maybe neither of us realized it when you first called me a mage, but that was the second best thing that ever happened to me (because, of course, the best thing I’ve is you).
The first moment I saw you, with your blades raised and ready to strike, I had no idea we would end up here. I didn’t even think we would become friends. Now I’m sure I would marry you in an instant if I could. I’m sorry I won’t be able to give you that life.
You’re the love of my life, my ray of light, the brightest star in the darkest night.
I wished you didn’t need to be there to see me do it, if I could save you that pain I would, but I guess I can’t.
A quiet sob escaped his mouth, Callum bit his lips trying not to cry. He didn’t want Runaan to pity him.
Don’t be mad at Runaan, I asked him to do it. I realized it was selfish to have asked you to kill me in the first place, you shouldn’t go through that pain.
I don't know what will happen once the arrow pierces my heart, but in any case, I hope my last words to you are worthy.
Don’t be afraid for me, Ray, this is the destiny I choose.
Once you left to keep me safe, I didn’t understand back then. Now I do. Therefore, I need you to understand why I’m doing this. I rather die than see you suffer or be always on guard.
The last two weeks at the Silvergrove were a great taste of what life could’ve been with you . It was perfect. You’re perfect.
I’m not even joking when I say I could get lost in your eyes forever and get drunk in the taste of your lips without even thinking twice. I love the feeling of your name in my mouth , I could repeat it all day and never get tired or bored.
Even if it isn't in this lifetime I hope we can be together in the next one and accomplish everything we won't be able in this one.
Finally, I need you to know one more thing: Remember the ritual at the Starscrapper? The one to get rid of the darkness inside me by letting my deepest true fill me with light. And remember how I called you my light some sentences before in this letter?
When I was up in the night sky for a moment I was lost, the only thing I could see was darkness, and I was falling. Until you caught me. You’re my deepest truth, Rayla. I saw it. I saw you. You were formed of stars and as beautiful as ever.
You saved me, my love.
I love you, Rayla.
I love you so much.
–Callum.
Callum could picture her reading the letter, tears falling down her cheeks and clouding her view. Maybe sobbing. Her beautiful face, contorted with pain.
He hated he would be the cause of that ache. But she would be okay. She had to.
Plus her dads and probably Ez and Soren would be there to keep each other at bay.
Callum stood up, sensing Runaan’s presence behind him.
“I know this isn’t easy…” He reached for Callum’s shoulder and he let him give him an almost fatherly squeeze. If only things had been different. “But Rayla will come to terms with it, she’s strong.”
“I know,” Callum whispered. He ripped out the sheet and folded it into four.
Turning he extended it to Runaan and he put it in one of his many hidden pants pocket. His expression saddened for a moment before he returned to his determined grin.
It was done. His fate was sealed. So was Rayla’s to his dismay. Their lives were intertwined together for the moment they met and there was nothing he could do now to change that.
Sure, there's nothing left to try.
I can feel the light shine on my face. Did I disappoint you?
-The Line. Twenty One Pilots.