Archive of Our Own

4 days were enough to shatter Masakado’s illusion of his perfect honeymoon love.

He could still feel the ghostly warmth radiating from Seiya’s body throughout that single night they spent together. Even now, his lips tingle from the kisses they shared and the sweet words they spilled. If he tried harder, he would even smell Seiya’s intoxicating scent.

But everything must have been a dream, a fragile illusion. It had to be, because the very next day, reality — or rather Seiya — tore everything down. He jolted awake out of bed before Masakado, his movements frantic, as if the place was set on fire. Masakado sat up, rubbing sleep from his eyes, his nose twitching, half-expecting the acrid scent of smoke as he got back to his senses.

“The last thing we want is Sano seeing you leaving here first thing in the morning, right?” Seiya asked while he crossed the room to the door, as if invisible hands were ushering him into the hallway. “We don’t want to give any unnecessary explanation…”

“Why would it be so bad?”

In another lifetime, Masakado would have screamed and shouted at Seiya, letting that petty puppeteer — his simmering anger and frustration — take full control of his body, to voice out his deepest thoughts.

Where was he when Masakado needed him the most?

In the end, he smiled and nodded. The last thing he wanted was to upset Seiya. Especially at such an unholy hour in the morning. And come to think of it, there was nothing wrong with some secrecy while they figured out certain things about their relationship. The twisting fear in the pit of his stomach meant nothing if Seiya could have a happy, quiet morning.

“Yeah, right,” Masakado said, waiting for Seiya to call him out on the dry edge of his tone. He never did, though.

“Ne?” Seiya displayed his radiant smile that emptied Masakado’s brain from any thought, be it worrying or happy ones. “I’ll see you in the van.”

A quick wave of his hand. That was all Masakado received as good morning, goodbye, and see you later after a secretive, lovely night together. Not too shabby. But what the hell happened to morning kisses nowadays?

Masakado had no one but a closed door to ask that to.

They did meet up at the van. Some miracle allowed the two of them to arrive before anyone else, stealing a couple of minutes of alone time.

“Sit by my side,” Masakado pleaded, pulling Seiya’s sleeve, too unsure to grab his hand. It was borderline pathetic, but he had to take any opportunity he could. If Seiya even feared having Sano-chan see them together again that morning, there was no way he would even look his way unless they were side by side.

“But…” Seiya scratched his nape.

“I’ll behave, I promise.”

Seiya gave in, and Masakado kept his word… For most of the trip. In his defense, it had been Seiya who snook his hand in between seats and held Masakado’s hand where nobody could see them. It was a bold move, considering he was in the middle of a conversation with KojiKen Leader.

The gesture warmed Masakado’s heart for the 5 minutes it lasted.

This wasn’t how things were supposed to be like. He’d imagined his honeymoon phase would be longer, sweeter as days went by. Nobody had warned him that dating Seiya meant 50% chasing after him, 47% hiding his feelings from everyone around, and 3% receiving surprising texts — nevermind they were work-related 100% of the time . If not, he would have re-examined his life choices. And, there is no doubt, kick himself too.

But who was he kidding? Nothing would’ve changed. He would still daydream with Seiya, fall for him just as hard, and end up in the same predicament.

Truth was, liking Seiya had been anything but a logical decision — he wouldn’t even call it a decision to begin with — so nothing would change it, no matter what. He still felt like kicking himself as he read the text in their LINE chat, though.

« Hey, who’s hosting Yantan tomorrow? »

Masakado put the phone down and crossed his arms, glaring at the device from time to time as he carried out his job.

Great. Another message about work. Didn’t he have anything else to talk to him about?

He apologized to the staff-san for a second and quickly typed a response against his initial resolution of ignoring the text. « Manager-san said it last week »

« I know, I know! But I can’t remember »

Masakado was fighting the urge to massage his temple. He deleted the words « I’m not your secretary!! » before he could send the message by mistake. Was there any point in him replying? He waited for Seiya’s upcoming text, seeing that he was still typing.

« Too many things have happened in the last few days »

« 😏 »

A tired sigh escaped past his lips.

“Is everything alright, Masakado-san?” the interviewer asked him as she was fixing her things to leave.

“No, no. Everything’s okay. I’m sorry,” he hastily answered.

He was about to leave for a quick walk to the closest sauna — desperate to clear his head in the two hours he had off between jobs — when his phone beeped with a new message from their manager. He almost missed it, thinking it was Seiya.

Instead, Manager-san wanted to inform them Masakado’s video would be uploaded that night. That was all it said — Masakado’s video — because he needed to say no more. Everybody knew it was his relationship chart video.

The one that started everything.

« Forget about Yantan. We should watch the relationship chart together when it gets posted. What do you say? 😏 »

He laid the phone down, his movements sharper and hopeful at the prospect for the afternoon. It wasn’t every day he could watch on the screen the starting spark of his relationship with Seiya. Well, calling it the starting spark would be quite the stretch when it had actually been the first time he saw Seiya at his part-time job at the cafe and something had tugged at his heart from inside. It screamed “He’s gorgeous! Talk to him!” while Masakado fought against the heat creeping up his neck.

He spent the rest of the afternoon praying his face wasn’t blushing.

And he didn’t talk to him, of course; his friends did instead. That such a beautiful person existed made it somehow easier to accept he had fallen for a guy , but he still had to grapple with his overwhelming feelings for the short, cute guy.

By the time that same cute guy — the one he had been stalking every other week at the cafe — walked into the rehearsal room in Osaka, Masakado had already come to terms with himself and the reality of his feelings: He liked this guy. Big time.

“Hey,” his voice rose in pitch, and he stopped himself. As his friends looked at him with frowns, Masakado cleared his throat, trying to appear casual. “Who’s that with Jo-kun?”

Six pairs of eyes darted to the trio walking past the doors and towards the closest chairs, furrowed brows now focused on making out the faces. Fujiwara Joichiro-kun, Kusama Richard Keita, and…

“Who, Suezawa-kun?” Daigo asked his douki.

“Suezawa?”

“Yes,” Ren chimed in. “Suezawa Seiya-kun. You better watch out; he’s our senpai.”

Oh boy, had he really watched out! He smirked, knowing too well he had done nothing but watch out for Suezawa Seiya in the past years. The insistent beeping of his phone widened his smirk into a full-fledged smile. Maybe Seiya was finally willing to show some interest.

His smile faltered the second he saw Seiya’s message in their private chat, though.

« What did you just do, you idiot ? »

This wasn’t the usual flustered Seiya that called him silly or aho to hide his cute side. Seiya was mad at him. For real. But why? Something was definitely up. The single message from his boyfriend didn’t account for the amount of beeps he had heard from his phone.

“What the — ?”

His smile froze into a grimace, and turned into a perfect mask of horror — eyes widened to their limits, mouth agape in dread, his skin devoid of color as he could feel all blood draining.

This was bad.

« Why would we forget about Yantan? Are you planning to leave me alone? »

« Maybe Massan wants to pull a Subaru-kun 🤭 »

« What do you mean? »

« Are you talking about the time he ditched Recomen and Murakami-kun for a karaoke night and called to the show only to sing Saint Seiya ? »

« He did what ? 😱 »

« Masaya, you really know nothing!! »

« Hey, but it’s not a bad idea!! »

« Ditching Yantan? »

« Of course not! It’d be nice to watch the YouTube video like we used to. When was the last time we facetimed? »

« Last week. To discuss Otento, remember? »

« That was work! This is different... We have done nothing fun lately, just for the sake of getting closer 🥺 »

The further Masakado scrolled and read in the chat, the deeper he wanted to be buried dead. In seconds, the group had organized a watch-party for his relationship chart video late at night despite Seiya’s futile attempts to talk them out of it. No wonder he was mad.

Thanks to Masakado, the group would watch together their awkward interaction and Masakado’s efforts — albeit clumsy and pathetic — to get Seiya to look at him. There was no way he’d outlive this with his dignity intact! This was going to be a long day and an even longer night.

« Sorry, Sei-chan »

His phone beeped one last time, a couple of minutes afterward.

« You better don’t call me that in front of the members, Masakado »

He winced.

Masakado got back home on time for the video. Turned out he really needed that short walk to the sauna to clear his head and steady his heart for what was coming. But after running a couple of scenarios in his head for his visualization exercises, he finally calmed down.

After all, they might cut out the whole thing.

The jimusho was still testing waters with the whole global market expansion, so there was a real chance they wouldn’t risk giving international fans the icks just to please their Japanese fanbase. Right?

He sat down on his bed, extra careful not to spill his usual drink, as he opened his laptop and clicked on the browser. He took a sip as he clicked on YouTube and used his entire self-restraint not to spill the drink on the screen.

[Masakado Yoshinori’s Relationship Chart] Forbidden Questions... Exposing Taboos

They were definitely gonna show to the entire world his embarrassing attempts at eliciting some reaction from Seiya!! Forget about the members; he had been an idiot for feeling so happy at this video being up at all.

But now that he remembered the rest of Ae! group, it was about time he connected to the video call. He put a hand on his chest, took a deep breath, and braced himself for whatever expression Seiya may have in store for him.

Though it had been a slip, an honest little mistake.

Seiya should forgive him.

“Hey, Massan is here!” KojiKen announced, as if it weren’t obvious for the rest.

“Finally, the main guy graces us with his presence,” Taisei followed up.

“Where is Seiya?” Masakado asked, ignoring the funny looks everyone was throwing at him. He didn’t care they made fun of him — heck, he completely overlooked the fact everybody went on board with having a bucket of popcorn to further enjoy Masakado’s spectacular embarrassment — but he wouldn’t forgive himself if they had said something to Seiya that made him leave the video call.

Richa cleared his throat and caught his eyes.

“Suezawa is just a little late,” he punctuated the name, but only Masakado seemed to notice. Message received; he’d be more careful from here onwards. “He’s having some connection issues…”

“As usual!!!” the younger three shouted in unison and cracked up.

As if summoned by the sheer force of their collective mockery, Seiya finally connected.

“Seiya…!” Masakado exclaimed upon seeing him, but a stern look from Richa made him add, “…kun! You’re finally here, Seiya-kun… I thought you wouldn’t join us.”

Seiya frowned at that, but it was KojiKen the one who quickly piped up, “Why wouldn’t he be joining us?”

The problem with video calls is that you have nowhere to hide unless your camera breaks down.

5 pairs of eyes were scrutinizing Masakado’s face — each with their very own degree of amused, curious or confused. Seiya’s expression was haunting Masakado through the screen.

He was definitely pissed off… and they hadn’t even started with the video!

“Well?”

“I wasn’t sure he’d join, since he was so against it earlier in the chat,” Masakado said; the more he spoke, the more unconvinced he was by his own words. He didn’t even want to imagine what about the rest of the guys. “So…”

“Just because I think this is unnecessary, it doesn’t mean I would miss it,” Seiya said directly to the camera, grumbling the words out. Masakado bit down the urge to say how cute he was, as he wondered who Seiya was talking to; if it was him, if it meant…

Kojima clapped his hands loudly.

“Ok, let’s get this party started,” he said. 

That was the cue for Taisei — the technologically savvy one of the group — to stream the video. He had been the one who found the platform that allowed them to stream videos and chat and speak at the same time. Masakado had no idea where they would be without Taisei for these kinds of online gatherings.

They started laughing from the very beginning of the video; KojiKen leader’s antics would always shift the mood of the entire atmosphere. Everybody relaxed at once.

Everybody but Seiya.

Masakado tried to keep his eyes focused on the video; this was a very rare opportunity for him to recall blurry details from that day. Despite his relationship with Seiya and the fact that the video had been a turning point for them, he didn’t hold it too fondly in his memory. But his eyes caught an odd expression from Seiya — knitted brows, a small crease in between, and tightened lips — the second they both appeared in front of the whiteboard on the screen.

Wasn’t it too soon to hint at their awkwardness and cringe?

Masakado wanted to reach out when he saw Seiya also shifting uncontrollably. Taisei had only offhandedly mentioned how much he was blinking at the beginning, nothing too bad. But Seiya shifted and his shoulders tensed up.

He didn’t like the comment.

Thank God nobody followed that observation. Instead, they all spent a few minutes teasing Richa-kun for his weird way of teasing Masakado about Joshima-kun.

“It’s weird seeing Seiya-kun asking proper questions and following up with decent comments,” Masaya noted.

“That’s normal,” Seiya said.

But it wasn’t.

Seiya hadn’t shown as many reactions when it had been Sano-chan’s turn. He hadn’t let out a single exaggerated “Ehhhhhhh?” at any of Sano’s scoops from that day. It was oddly contrasting to hear so many reactions from Seiya, but to see him mostly with crossed arms.

Was he interested or not in Masakado’s relationships?

His mind had convinced him that Seiya had been his usual distant self during the filming that day, even when they had been slumped together because of KojiKen.

His phone beeped, and he saw Seiya returning to his normal position in front of the screen. What had he been doing while Masakado was so focused on the video?

« I hope you’ve stopped being clingy with Ohashi »

He quickly looked at Seiya’s thumbnail, trying to find a hint that would tell him the tone of the text he had just sent. Was he joking? Was he jealous? Or was he just teasing him? But nothing betrayed his genuine feelings.

He took the chance to poke at him and get some answers.

« I might have to go back to my old ways, if I can’t get clingy with you »

He had refrained from typing “if you don’t let me cling to you,” or else the text would be too serious. He hit send and lost track of what was happening in the video or what the other members were commenting — something about Seiya deviating their attention to Taisei’s proper questions and KojiKen luring Massan to make the ultimate choice, but to choose Masaya — his eyes set on Seiya.

He waited for a second before picking up the phone and reading the text. Masakado held his breathing.

And then Seiya put the phone down. Without answering. Without even reacting.

Except for that faint, mysterious smile he had for a second.

Masakado wanted to text, “What’s with that reaction?” but a certain commotion tore his eyes from Seiya and back to the video.

“Here it is, finally!” Taisei howled.

“What we’ve been waiting for!” KojiKen followed.

“It’s ソワソワ time!” Richa said, barely holding his evil laughter.

Masakado braced himself for the train of teasing that would probably follow suit, going straight at his way.

“The ‘Suezawa Seiya’ we only got to see that day!” Masaya said.

“What do you mean?” Seiya barked.

“He means KojiKen cornered you to answer what has been in our minds forever,” Taisei answered instead. “And you showed your true colors.”

Wait! Wasn’t it obvious Masakado had been the one acting strangely the whole time? What were they saying?

“Now, the SueNori nation will be fed for weeks! And I’ll be like their God for providing them with it,” KojiKen said with a big, toothy smile. He and Taisei were always checking online for what fans said about them; it had become a second nature. So, if he was saying that, it was probably true.

The SueNori Nation, huh? If only they knew...

“Look at this… he’s gonna laugh out of nervousness, scratch his back and even check his pulse,” Taisei explained, as if he had already watched the video.

“Huh?” four voices said in unison.

“I was paying extra attention to him the moment KojiKen asked that question, to see if he was going to be his usual weird self with Massan,” Taisei said, shrugging his shoulders just matter-of-factly. “He didn’t betray my expectations.”

“Oh, right. That’s true,” KojiKen added.

“What do you mean?” Seiya asked again.

Masakado was no longer paying attention to the video. He felt some mysteries were being unfolded right before his eyes.

Seiya was nervous that day?

He had been when it came to Masakado even before?

What the hell did that mean?

It was hard to believe it! He had been so fixated in concealing his feelings in front of the camera — only to let them all out in the open moments after the filming had finished, but that was another subject — that he had missed this myriad of details from Seiya’s expressions to his body language.

But it was true.

Masakado had missed those precious details back then, but he could see them clear as day now.

Seiya had been nervous that day.

He had been nervous around Masakado even before that day.

But what the hell did that mean?

“It means that Massan was right when he described your relationship as mostly ソワソワ and きんちょう, except for those rare occasions when you two can talk,” KojiKen explained. Taisei was nodding with one of his annoying know-it-all smirks.

“But he was wrong when he said it depended on his condition,” Taisei couldn’t help himself from blurting at the end.

“You’re almost making it sound as if it is Suezawa’s fault,” Richa commented.

“It is!” Both Kojima and Taisei said at the same time.

“What do you mean by that?” It was Masakado’s turn to ask. He didn’t understand a thing they were saying. He was the one building a wall around for Seiya not to find out his feelings. They’ve known about this for so long, why are they—? What are they—?

“Shhhhhh, you’re making me miss the best part,” Sano said.

It took only a second to see he was referring to his infamous question.

“For example?” The Sano-chan in the video asked, relentless in his search for answers. The telop on the screen spelling the truth for the world to see; it was an instant blow. “We haven’t heard about that either. For example?”

They cracked a couple of jokes at Seiya as they saw the unedited footage of the eldest explaining Masakado’s opposite characteristics to his in the most useless way. Richa’s smile never left his face, an obvious proof he was enjoying this the most.

Because he knew.

Masakado just saw in utter silence, awe striking him in the most unexpected way. How had he missed all those details they were teasing Seiya with? Had he been that blind all this time?

Seiya, on the other hand, tried to disperse the teasing. He wasn’t trying too hard, though. If he had, the teasing would have never subdued. So, he tried to play it cool, but Masakado could just tell.

“It’s getting late, and Sano has work early tomorrow,” Seiya cut the conversation. “Kojima, too.”

They knew better than to push their limits. They had their laughs, but Seiya’s tone was final.

One by one, they bid their goodbyes and left the chat. First, Sano and Kojima. Then, Richa — not before winking at Seiya and Masakado, and thanking them for “the lovely evening.” Taisei stayed a few seconds longer, stealing glances at the other two.

“Good night, Massan,” he said and double-checked on his friend, before looking at the other and bowing his head slightly. “Seiya-kun,” and he left.

At last, it was just the two of them.

“Seiya-kun…”

“You’ve been acting weird,” Seiya grumbled. “You barely said a word, hardly looked my way, and now… what’s with the ‘Seiya-kun’ all of a sudden?”

He clicked his tongue. This was bad.

But Masakado had no words to answer that. He had questions of his own. Too many to count. About all the remarks the members threw during the watch party. About Seiya’s now obvious discomfort on that filming day. Or his all work-related texts and his distance for the past couple of days.

About his true feelings for Masakado.

Ok, maybe not those last things. Masakado didn’t want to open the can of worms when they were supposed to enjoy their honeymoon phase. 

“Actually…”

“You have work tomorrow too, right? You should also rest,” and without another word, he logged out.

Masakado was frozen in place.

He lay in bed, unable to sleep. It wasn’t just Seiya’s distant attitude or his sudden cut in their conversation. 

Right after Masakado logged out himself and turned off his laptop, his phone beeped with a new message.

« Rest well, Yoshinori. Good night »

There was a bittersweet feeling in the pit of his stomach. Seiya was so cute at times. Why couldn’t he be like that more often?

But this wasn’t enough.

« Good night, Seiya… You’ll probably fall asleep before I do, though »

His fingers had a mind of their own. They typed that answer and sent the text without his permission, but he didn’t delete it afterwards. He stared at his phone until the message was marked as ‘read’ and then he stared some more.

Maybe Masakado was wasting his time, staring in vain at the device and hoping for a miracle that wouldn’t occur. After all, Seiya had already bid his goodbye — which was already more than he had expected. Masakado was being greedy. Why would Seiya now—?

« Why do you think so? »

Masakado stared at the phone with big, starry eyes, holding his breath.

It might not seem as much; but when you’re dying of thirst, a single drop of water can quench your thirst and even feel like an oasis.

Masakado had been thirsting for attention. And this was his water drop.

« You always go to sleep early… And tonight, sleep is just eluding me »

« Why is that? »

This time, Masakado gave his fingers permission to answer the question as openly as possible.

« I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep at all »

« Why is that? »

He sighed. Did Seiya only have one answer?

« The video? »

« Or…? »

Masakado’s heart stopped for a second. Maybe Seiya had noticed his longing and eagerness and had pieced everything together. He waited for Seiya to put it into words, but Seiya never completed the question. He never gave Masakado another choice.

After a while, Masakado’s eyes got tired, staring in the midst of darkness at a screen that never changed. Seiya must have fallen asleep this time, or maybe just didn’t care at all. Masakado let out a slow breath, sinking into his pillow, eyes still fixed on the screen — in silence.

The next morning, Masakado got up surprisingly early. Sleep had eluded him for hours, but tiredness pulled him into Morpheus’ arms almost against his own will.

Immediately, he checked the LINE chat he had with Seiya, but nothing had changed in the few hours he had been sleeping. That shouldn’t be a surprise; he knew that. It shouldn’t and, yet, the weight of disappointment washing over him and clogging his throat with bitterness told him otherwise. He tried to kid himself, but he had been expecting something — anything.

Was this how things were going to end with Seiya?

He couldn’t let it happen.

He typed a quick, sweet ‘good morning’ text to his boyfriend as soon as he recovered from the shock of a lack of replies the previous night, and checked on his schedule with their manager. It was just a simple excuse, though, a cover to erase any suspicion from him asking about Seiya’s schedule for the day. He hoped Seiya had work that day — it would be so much easier to stick to his plan if he did.

Seiya was such a private person, Masakado had come to find out in the few months their relationship had evolved from simple members to close acquaintances to... whatever they were nowadays, that it was almost impossible to get wind of his plans for days off. Unless you were Richa-kun or Jo-kun. Which Masakado wasn’t.

Or if you were willing to ask Seiya himself for the information, which Masakado couldn’t.

It would ruin the surprise.

That’s why he needed Seiya to have some jobs for the day.

It turned out he was scheduled for a filming job in the afternoon and a magazine photoshoot afterwards. Perfect! So, Masakado arranged a couple of special deliveries for Seiya: a box of fresh strawberries for the filming job location and an order of a small bouquet of roses for the magazine photoshoot — they were all Seiya’s favorites.

Seiya would definitely love them... and Masakado too!! Aw, if only he could sneak up and see his face lighting up!

Masakado himself was busy in the morning and at night, so he wouldn’t be able to shower Seiya with affection face to face, but the text, the strawberries and the flowers would have to do. They were a great beginning.

So, he prepped himself with swift movements, high in spirit.

But his plan didn’t stop just there. After his morning job finished, Masakado came up with a special playlist that he immediately shared with Seiya. There were a couple of songs that made him think of Seiya and it would be awesome for Seiya to know them.

He’d make sure Seiya felt beloved — because he deserved nothing less.

And because their relationship couldn’t just be over. Not just yet.

Not without a fight.

His conviction faltered, though, when Masakado went to MBS studio for the Yantan show with a knot in his stomach and weak knees. He had checked his phone countless times throughout the day — and a hundred more times on the way there — only to find nothing. Nothing . Seiya had read both his lovely morning greeting and mid-morning one, had seen the picture of his lunch, and even viewed his stories, but he never replied. Not a single word. Squad. Nada.

Masakado was on the edge of climbing up the walls… and he had a radio show to host. He took a few breaths as he was riding the elevator, telling his mind to let it go whenever he found himself going at it again.

He heard Richa’s evil laughter minutes before he saw him.

“What the hell did you do to Suezawa?” He cracked up, and Masakado’s wincing face only fueled his crackle.

“Nothing,” he said after a few seconds in silence.

Richa-kun chuckled this time. “So...” he started with big, unbelieving eyes. “Harassing him with strawberries, and flowers, and playlists, and texts is nothing to you? That’s scary~”

Richa-kun had baited him into talking — even if Masakado only said one word wrapped in a lie — just for his personal entertainment. 

He knew!

Of course he knew!

Seiya couldn’t even say ‘hi’ back to him in the morning, but of course he had all the time in the world to tell all about his day to Richa-kun. But that wasn’t even what made his blood boil and his eyes prick. That wasn’t the worst of all...

“Is that what he said, harassing ?” Masakado kept his voice steady, albeit constricted and harsh. He had to pause, though, and swallow the lump forming in his throat.

“Is it a special anniversary or something?” Richa-kun seemed to ignore his tone, given that he just kept on smiling as if he hadn’t just shattered Masakado’s hopes and illusions. “‘Cause just a heads-up; Suezawa sucks at those things.”

“He sucks at simply texting, too,” he mumbled.

“Come again?”

“Nothing,” Masakado shrugged, trying to appear nonchalant. “I have to talk to the producer, if you’ll excuse me,” and he went past Richa without waiting for an answer. He couldn’t confide in Richa, not about Seiya, anyway. Richa was Seiya’s best friend, after all. The very person Seiya confided in when he apparently had issues with him . The thought stung more than he cared to admit.

He did have to talk to the producer, though, but it wasn’t an urgent matter. It was just the perfect excuse for Masakado to cool down and have a chance at hosting the show.

He stayed there until the absolute last second and then joined Richa at the radio booth. He found him talking to Vocalisto.

“I really want to be born as part of LilKan in the next life,” he said.

Masakado chuckled at the comment and signaled Richa they were just about to start. The environment was a bit lighter — or, at least, just less tense — and it just got better as they started talking about how Yantan staff watched Noroshi and they got to announce the PiaAri concert.

Masakado soon got into the normal, comfortable rhythm he usually had with Richa-kun and even teased him when he started promoting things but messed up the names.

“Dude, there are so many different things going on lately… It’s hard to keep up!” Richa defended himself, hands up like a shield. “I can only imagine it’s just the same for fans!”

“They got it even harder, I think, with all the surprise appearances we’ve had as well, like in the senpai’s concerts and such.”

Richa, of course, took the opportunity and mentioned Westo-nii-san’s live performance and how they participated in both concerts at the Tokyo Dome. Masakado stumbled upon his words, trying to give a straight comment to it, with all the brow-wriggling Richa was doing. He was totally taking advantage of them being on the radio to tease Masakado without leaving any traits for the fans to find out. Masakado managed somehow to survive the surprise attack, though, and kept the conversation flowing until he got out of danger.

Though, with Richa-kun, you were never really completely sure.

“Dude, what the hell is wrong with you?” Richa-kun spewed as soon as they had an emergency weather forecast.

“Sorry, I’ll stop with the whole ‘Keita-kun’ from now on,” Masakado was trying to deflect the topic; he knew it, Richa knew it, and the entire Yantan staff knew it as well.

Richa didn’t let it slide. He didn’t say a word, but his eyes spoke volumes.

“I’m very sorry” Masakado even bowed down from his seat. He had been missing cues, misreading titles, fumbling with his script, and even blanked on the next segment since Richa had teased him about Westo-nii-san’s concerts and what had happened in between. Richa had to do the title call of their Prefecture corner, ‘cause Masakado had forgotten even though the music was already playing.

He had to put it together, and he had to do it now!! If Seiya-kun listened to him being so off, he’d know something odd was going on, and might want to talk things out. He may think their relationship is distracting Masakado from his job, and that will affect Ae! group and jeopardize their opportunity to—

“Are you acting so off because I teased you with Suezawa?” Richa cut off his derailed train of thought. “Because it wasn’t a big deal, you know?”

Masakado scuffed.

“Yeah, I bet it’s not a big deal that Seiya thinks I’m a creep and he can’t even tell it to my face!” Masakado spat; words too bitter to keep them in. “He has to go running to his best friend.”

The tone was enough to turn best friend into the worst insult ever.

Vocalisto signaled them to get ready, as the weather report was about to finish. Mustering to the last professional drop he could, Masakado made his voice all cheerful and excited for the next segment. He was lucky enough somebody emailed about going to the sauna for the first time and gave Masakado the chance to talk about something he and Taisei enjoy in their free time; and then another guy emailed about buying his first guitar and asking for advice.

Though he could mentally tie every single topic to Seiya — for better or for worse, that was an ability he had developed without him realizing after all the years he’s been crushing on Seiya — he dwelled into the question and his own experience learning to play the instrument. Masakado could always count on guitars to take his mind away from other issues. Even Seiya.

Except…

ANS…

Seiya using his guitar as an excuse to talk to Masakado…

The song taking on a new meaning for the two of them as they sang it together on stage with…

He shook his head to leave those thoughts out just as Richa leaned in close, his usual playful smirk replaced with something resembling genuine concern. “Hey, Masakado,” he murmured, keeping his voice low so it wouldn’t be picked up by the microphones, “he never said you were harassing him or anything like that. He’s actually—”

“It’s okay, Richa-kun. Don’t worry.”

Richa sighed.

“Of course I’d worry. You two are—” he let out an exasperated sound that Masakado had never heard before. He then sighed again and calmed a little before adding, ”But, seriously, have you talked to Suezawa?”

Masakado didn’t feel like talking about his problems with Seiya with Richa—of all people—in the middle of Yantan — of all places. And he didn’t have to. A quick look from Richa seemed to tell him everything he needed to know.

Things must have gotten serious somewhere along the conversation, because that was the third time Richa-kun sighed in less than 5 minutes.

“Look, I’m not going to pry. You two are old enough to deal with this, even if you decide to behave like 5-year-olds,” Masakado couldn’t rebut that. “But… whatever it is, talk to him. You two are… good together. But you need to work things out.”

The music faded, signaling the start of their next segment, before Masakado could answer Richa. Even If he had any extra time, there was nothing to say, because he had no idea what to do now.

Was there really anything else he could do?

There was! Of course, there was!

Richa was right. He had to talk to Seiya. Although the thought of facing Seiya — of potentially hearing the words he dreaded the most — paralyzed him to no end, he had to do it.

Masakado took a deep breath, plastered a smile on his face, and prepared to go back on air. He needed to focus to get through the rest of the show. He needed to buy himself some time to figure out what to do next and how to approach Seiya.

Masakado and Richa left the building in between jokes and laughs. Masakado kept on asking about his gyaru friend from Kyoto, unable to cast the image of a guy with even more gyaru antics than Richa.

The van was parked in its usual spot, waiting to take them back home.

Richa, usually one to stroll leisurely towards the van at the end of a long day of work, surprised Masakado by suddenly trotting to the vehicle, as if eager to get there first. He did so, as Masakado didn’t even bother to keep up.

He just chuckled, seeing Richa all fired up suddenly.

Masakado let him get first to the van and open the door. If he wanted to choose his seat or just get there first like a 5-year-old, who was Masakado to take that away from him? It didn’t cost him anything.

However, as Masakado tried to hop inside the van, Richa shoved him gently, but strong enough for him to stay out of the vehicle.

Masakado chuckled again.

“What has gotten into you all of a sudden?” He asked and tried to get inside again, only to be pushed once again.

Richa was grinning, and that couldn’t possibly mean anything good.

“I don’t feel like riding tonight with you,” he slammed the door closed as if to prove his point, and then talked to the driver. “We’re ready to go! Tonight, it’ll just be me.”

“What—?”

“Good night, Masakado! You can thank me again some other time,” and with a wink and a wave, Richa took off in the van.

“Thank you?” Masakado just stared after the van as it sped off into the night, his mouth hanging open in disbelief. “What the hell?” he muttered under his breath. Richa had never been one to pull stunts like this.

He was about to turn his back, still trying to process what had just happened, when he froze.

As the van took off, it revealed a blond figure leaning casually against a park car, hands in pocket. It was Seiya, a half-smile creeping onto his face as if he’d been just caught off guard. Seiya had been there the whole time, shaded from sight by the van. Masakado had no way of knowing how long he had been there, or where he came from, or why.

His heart skipped a beat at the sight. He hadn’t seen Seiya in days — days! — and, now that he was here, he didn’t know what to do with his hands that suddenly felt too big or in the way.

Seiya scratched the back of his head, an awkward gesture that immediately told Masakado he was nervous. There was a timid energy in his posture that Masakado wasn’t used to seeing, as if he were trying to play it cool, but failing. “Otsukare~” he greeted with a lazy wave.

Masakado blinked, still standing in the middle of the parking lot, feeling like he was caught in some kind of trap. “What the hell are you doing here?” he asked, and could hear the confusion clear in his voice. He tried to keep it light, but the surprise and sudden rush of emotions made it harder than he expected. “And how long have you been here?”

Seiya chuckled softly, pushing off from the car and stepping closer. He cleared his throat. “Long enough,” he said, his voice teasing but soft. He cleared his voice again. “I thought I’d surprise you... take you out for a drive. Thought it’d be nice.” He gave a small, almost nervous smile.

“Yeah,” Masakado said, a bit too quickly, not sure if he was trying to convince Seiya or himself. “Nice. Of course.”

Nice? Is that all he can say? Masakado felt a strange mix of emotions, like the excitement before a live concert and the apprehension of uncharted territory. He wanted to reach out, touch Seiya, but something held him back. Why was he being so… distant? Was it just nervousness?

“Get in,” Seiya said, finally breaking the silence. He opened the passenger door, a silent invitation for Masakado, and hopped to the other side to get inside himself.

They got in the car, and the silence reigned, thick and awkward; only the sound of the engine filling the emptiness. Masakado shifted uncomfortably in his seat, glancing at Seiya from the corner of his eye, but he couldn’t bring himself to start a conversation. Not yet. Not when everything felt so... fragile.

Masakado didn’t know what was worse — the way Seiya has avoided his gaze since they got in or the fact that he has barely said a word.

The drive was… stilted, to say the least. Seiya fumbled with the radio as soon as the air became unbearable, trying to find a station, but the silence between songs just amplified their inability to hold a simple conversation, making it even more deafening. Masakado stared out the window the whole ride, replaying the day’s events in his head, his thoughts a jumbled mess.

He couldn’t shake the feeling that something was off — maybe it was the way Seiya wasn’t looking at him, or how Masakado himself felt like he was holding his breath, waiting for something to change.

He tried asking Seiya about his day, about anything, but the words seemed to get caught in his throat.

Before he knew it, Seiya put an end to the excruciating drive, pulling into a quiet parking spot overlooking a small park. He turned off the engine, the sudden silence matching with the tension. He parked the car and sat still for a moment, hands still gripping the steering wheel.

He cleared his throat.

“So…” he began, then paused, as if searching for the right words. “How was… how was the show?”

“It was fine,” Masakado replied, his voice a little strained. He was still trying to process Seiya’s sudden appearance, piecing things together. Is he going to pretend everything’s normal after… after everything? Isn’t he going to mention—?

“Richa said… he said it went well,” Seiya continued, avoiding Masakado’s gaze.

Masakado’s stomach clenched. He didn’t listen to Yantan. The thought bothered him beyond his expectation. Seiya hadn’t even listened to Yantan tonight despite Masakado being in it, but of course he had time to text Richa about it. Richa, his best friend.

The only one who seemed to understand him.

The only one he can reach.

“It did,” he said, and added nothing else.

“Richa… he said you were free after this,” Seiya muttered again, but his voice was quieter now, uncertain. He finally turned to face Masakado, but his gaze was fleeting, darting away almost as soon as their eyes met.

Masakado felt like a punch to his guts this time. So, Richa told him to come. The realization stung more than he cared to hide. “Right,” he said, his voice flat. Of course, Richa told him.

He wouldn’t have come otherwise.

“You seem… off,” Seiya said, his voice slightly hesitant. “Did anything happen?”

“Off? I seem off?” Masakado echoed, a hint of sarcasm creeping into his voice. “Yeah, well, it’s been an interesting day.”

Seiya glanced at him, brows furrowed, but said nothing at all. Masakado took it for what it was, disinterest . He obviously hasn’t figured out a single thing he did wrong that day. Maybe Masakado had to spell it out for him. Maybe Masakado—

“You know, with my boyfriend ignoring me the whole day, because he just couldn’t deal with my creepy ass harassment of flowers and fruits,” he spat the words out, each syllable laced with bile, hurt, and resentment. The word boyfriend felt like a taunt in his lips.

Seiya finally looked at him, a flicker of something — confusion? hurt? — in his eyes. He seemed finally to get Masakado’s indifferent tone. “Look,” he said, his voice slightly defensive, “I didn’t… I wasn’t ignoring you. I… I just…”

He opened his mouth as if to continue speaking, but then hesitated. It seemed like he was searching for the right words, struggling to articulate something.

Masakado didn’t give him a chance.

“Did you even want to do this? Or did you only come because you thought you had to? Because Richa asked you to?”

Seiya looked taken aback, his eyes widening. “What? No, I—” a frustrated sigh escaped his lips. “I mean, I did want to. Just... I wanted to…” he started, then trailed off, as if unsure how to continue.

“Wanted to what , Seiya?” Masakado asked, a hint of challenge in his voice. He was getting tired of vague gestures and unspoken words. “Wanted to fix everything with a surprise appearance and a night drive?”

Seiya exhaled sharply, running a hand through his hair, visibly flustered. “That’s not what this is,” he muttered.

“Then what is it?” Masakado demanded, his voice rising. “You pretty much ignore me all day, then show up out of nowhere with this… this half-assed attempt at something —”

“Half-assed?” Seiya’s tone sharpened suddenly, his patience thinning. He turned in his seat, finally facing Masakado fully. “Is that how you feel?”

Masakado said nothing. He wanted Seiya to deny his accusations, to give him a proper explanation and to just reassure him in every possible way. Was it too much to ask for?

Apparently, when it came to Seiya, it was .

“You think I don’t care?” Seiya spat back. “You still think I’m just messing with you, don’t you?”

Masakado scoffed, crossing his arms. “I don’t know, Seiya. You tell me.”

For a second, Seiya just stared at him, like he was debating what to say next. His jaw clenched; then he let out a small, incredulous laugh, but there was no actual humor in it. His fingers gripped the steering wheel, knuckles going white. For a moment, it looked like he was about to argue — to explode — but, instead, he shook his head and sighed.

“I wasn’t ignoring you,” he said, quieter this time. He wasn’t looking at Masakado, but his voice carried something raw, something hesitant.

Masakado felt his anger falter, just a little. He didn’t know what he had expected, but he sure hadn’t expected Seiya to admit that. He swallowed, trying to hold on to his frustration, but the vulnerability in Seiya’s voice made it harder.

“I wasn’t trying to push you away,” Seiya went on, his voice still soft. “I just—” He sighed again, this time running a hand down his face like he was exhausted.

Masakado had waited for far too long for Seiya to give him something he obviously wasn’t willing to. He wouldn’t keep waiting — begging — so he reached for the handle, ready to step out.

“Wait,” Seiya said, his voice firm enough to make Masakado pause.

He sighed, still gripping the steering wheel with both hands. “I wasn’t ignoring you today, and I wasn’t trying to push you away,” he muttered again. His voice was quieter than before, like the weight of the conversation was starting to press down on him. “I just… I didn’t know how to deal with it. With you . Today.”

Masakado’s fingers curled into fists. “Deal with what ?”

Seiya exhaled sharply, his shoulders slumping slightly before he caught himself and tensed again. He shook his head. “I didn’t want to make things worse.”

Masakado scoffed, a bitter laugh slipping out before he could stop it. “By what? Pretending I don’t exist?”

For a moment, Seiya hesitated. His eyes flicked toward Masakado before darting away. “I came to pick you up, didn’t I?”

Masakado stared at him, something hot and painful he couldn’t name rising in his chest. “And what, that’s supposed to be enough?” His voice was getting louder, but he didn’t care. “You think just showing up makes everything okay? Like I should just be grateful?”

Seiya bristled. “That’s not what I—”

“Then what!?” Masakado snapped, four days of frustration finally boiling over.

For a brief second, there was a window — an opening for Masakado to reach him.

But then Seiya stiffened again, sitting up straighter like he’d caught himself slipping.

He scoffed. “But fine. If you’re waiting for me to… I don’t know… hold your hands and—” Seiya inhaled sharply, then, “I’m not gonna hold your hands and walk you home, if that’s what you’re waiting for, Masakado.”

“Why not!?” Masakado cut in.

Seiya’s eyes widened slightly. “It’s not like you want that, c’mon!” His voice was defensive, but there was a hint of uncertainty in the way he stood, like he wasn’t sure if that answer would fly.

Masakado was livid. His chest tightened, as if something inside him snapped. “Who the hell told you I don’t?”

Seiya blinked, caught off guard.

“You can’t possibly—”

For a moment there, Seiya just stared at him, stunned.

Masakado pushed the car door open, stepping out into the cool night air. He needed space — needed to breathe, to move, to not be trapped in a small space with all of this.

It didn’t matter if Seiya came after him or hesitated before following or didn’t come after him at all. He looked back for a second, though, feeling steps behind and saw Seiya shoving his hands into his pockets. Masakado saw him stopping a few feet away, shifting his weight like he wasn’t sure if he should come closer or keep his distance.

“You can’t possibly—” Seiya repeated, but then Masakado turned to face him properly, his expression raw and unguarded. “ Do you?”

“Don’t you ?” Masakado asked back.

Something flickered across Seiya’s face. Realization, maybe.

Masakado saw it in the way Seiya’s shoulders tensed, in the way his fingers twitched inside his pockets. Seiya’s expression also shifted, and Masakado saw it: the crack in Seiya’s facade, the sudden realization that Masakado did want it. He did want the affection, the attention. The simple, and even the silly things that everyone else took for granted. This was it — the moment of truth. Though he hadn’t said much, Seiya now knew what he wanted from their relationship. Now, Seiya’s reaction could either destroy or build what they had.

Masakado hoped for the latter, but he braced himself for the former.

“Isn’t that… embarrassing?” Seiya said at last, voice barely above a whisper.

That was it.

That single word hung in the air, confirming Masakado’s worst fear. Embarrassing. That’s what Seiya thought it was.

“Are you embarrassed about me?”

Seiya looked like a fish out of water; mouth opening and closing, but not a single word coming out.

“No!” he blurted at last. “What are you—? Of course not.”

Masakado exhaled sharply, but it still didn’t feel better. Not with how weak that reply was. Not with the way Seiya still looked like he wanted to run away.

“Are you embarrassed about your feelings for me?”

Seiya scratched his nose, a nervous habit Masakado had come to recognize. Then he cleared his throat, shifted his weight, shoved his hands deeper into his pockets — anything but answered.

“Are you—?” Masakado didn’t have the strength to repeat the question. He had already gotten his answer, anyway.

“I’m not, Masakado. Really.” Seiya’s voice was softer now, quieter. A tone Masakado hadn’t heard since that night after Westo-nii-san’s concert — a lifetime ago, it seemed . Back then, Seiya’s feelings had spilled out in whispers, too fragile to be spoken aloud.

“But,” Seiya continued, hesitant, “I don’t know… I never thought I could… I don’t—” He took a deep breath. “I’ve never been able to be what people wanted.”

For the first time that night, Seiya looked directly at him.

“What if I can’t do any of those things?” he asked.

Masakado’s stomach twisted. “What do you mean?”

“Would you break up with me over that?”

“Why would I?” Masakado asked immediately; the thought had never even crossed his mind. He’d have to be right out of his mind to leave Seiya.

Seiya shrugged.

“I don’t know.” A bitter smile ghosted over his lips. “But she told me exactly what you’re saying when she broke up with me.”

He didn’t need to say her name. Masakado already knew who ‘ she’ was — the university girlfriend he’d only ever seen from a distance, waiting for Seiya outside the buildings after rehearsal. The one who had stood beside Seiya back when Masakado couldn’t. When he was completely out of reach.

Masakado clenched his fists.

He felt like he was back in those old days — watching Seiya from afar, unable to reach.

But this time, he could reach him. He had to.

He wasn’t letting Seiya slip away again. Not after holding him. Not after hearing him say his name like it was something precious.

“Seiya—”

But Seiya wasn’t done.

“She said I’m distant and selfish,” he murmured. “That it’s no fun being with me.” His voice was empty, like he was just repeating facts. How had he accepted all these things about himself? “I was obsessed with dancing back then, so I barely hung out with her. It was my only escape from the fact that I was a loser as an idol. I also liked it, of course, but… We didn’t text or talk on the phone for days, unless she reached out first. She was always the one to reach out.”

Masakado swallowed. “What did you say to her when…?”

Seiya didn’t answer.

And that told Masakado everything.

“You just let her break up with you,” he realized.

Seiya shrugged. “I’m like this, Masakado.” His voice was quiet again, but this time, it wasn’t soft. It was final. “I don’t… I’m not built like you. To be the perfect boyfriend.” He hesitated. “I’m not obsessed with dancing anymore, but I’m devoted to debuting with Ae! group. You know that. You’ve known it from the very beginning.”

Masakado didn’t respond.

Because he did know that.

He stayed silent, thinking. The words stung, but he didn’t know how else to respond. He could hear Seiya’s insecurities now, and see how they’d been weighing him down for so long. How he’d never felt enough .

He didn’t know how to ask, or what to ask to get the answers they both needed.

So instead, he asked the only thing that came to mind.

“Didn’t you love her?” Masakado’s voice was strained, fragile. He was afraid of the answer, of what it said about Seiya and himself, but he had to ask.

Seiya paused, looking at Masakado like he had just asked the most impossible question.

“It was different,” he said with a shrug, his tone dismissive but soft.

Masakado’s chest tightened, but he didn’t look away. The words hung in the air, and he couldn’t help but press. “Different to what?”

Seiya took a slow breath.

“Different then… and now ?” Masakado repeated, voice low, almost pleading.

Seiya shifted, uncomfortable, his posture tight as he avoided Masakado’s gaze. The silence stretched between them like a fragile thread. And just when Masakado thought Seiya might turn away again, Seiya spoke, his voice small but clear.

“Different, yes,” Seiya repeated, his gaze finally meeting Masakado’s, but wavering, “different in… intensity, I guess. It was… easier.”

“Easier?” Masakado frowned. He couldn’t understand a word Seiya was saying. How had he made things more difficult for the other already?

Seiya nodded, still avoiding his eyes.

“It was… comfortable. Familiar. Less… complicated. Like a routine.” He trailed off, as if the words themselves were burning his tongue. “Less… complicated. There weren’t… expectations.”

“Expectations?” Masakado echoed, his voice rising slightly. “What expectations? That you… talk to me? That you… care? I didn’t know I was asking too much of you.”

Seiya flinched, as if Masakado’s words had physically struck him. He finally looked up, his eyes filled with a mixture of confusion, hurt, and something else Masakado couldn’t pinpoint. “No,” he blurted, then hesitated. “You weren’t. You… aren’t. It’s just that—”

Masakado’s heart ached. “And what the hell do you mean it was like a routine!? Is that even a good thing? I don’t get you!” He echoed, the word feeling like a cold stone in his stomach. “And what are we then, Seiya? What is this ?”

Seiya’s jaw tightened. He shoved his hands deeper into his pockets, his shoulders rigid.

“I don’t know,” he admitted, his voice barely audible. “Aren’t we still… figuring it out?”

“Figuring it out?” Masakado’s voice rose, a flicker of anger cutting through the pain. “Four days, Seiya!! Four days, and you think we’re still figuring it out?”

Seiya flinched, his eyes widening slightly.

“Exactly!! It’s only been four days, Masakado! Four-days!!” He almost spelled it out for the other. “I don’t get why you’re so worked up when we haven’t even—”

“We haven’t even what ?” Masakado pressed. 

Seiya shifted his weight again, as if uncomfortable in his own body. He cleared his throat, before saying, “It’s not… it’s not like that,” he stammered, but the words sounded hollow, even to his own ears. “It’s just… I’ve never… We’ve never…”

He slumped his shoulders, like he just lost a battle against himself.

“This is just too much, Masakado.”

“ This ?” Masakado pressed, his voice strained. “What is this exactly, Seiya? Tell me.”

Seiya looked away, his gaze fixed on the dark stretch of road beyond the car. “It’s… overwhelming,” he whispered. “Like… like everything’s too bright, too loud. And I don’t know how to… how to dim it.”

Masakado’s anger dissipated, replaced by a wave of something akin to pity. He wanted to reach out, to pull Seiya close, but he held back, afraid of shattering his fragile form. But Seiya didn’t seem ready for it. “So you’re running away instead?” he asked, his voice soft.

Seiya shook his head, but the gesture was weak, almost imperceptible. “I don’t know what to do,” he admitted, his voice laced with a raw vulnerability that made Masakado’s chest ache. “At first, she was okay with me, with how I was. It was enough for her… until it wasn’t.”

Masakado wanted to give Seiya some space to open up, but he couldn’t help the “What do you mean?” that escaped past his lips.

“Her expectations increased. Suddenly, she… she wanted things,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper. “Things I… I couldn’t give her.”

“Like what?” Masakado asked, his voice softer now, less accusing.

Seiya shrugged, a small, almost imperceptible movement. “Like… dates. Lots of them. And flowers and chocolates. Gifts in general. Morning texts. Good night calls. Just constant… reassurance, I guess.”

Masakado’s heart sank. Texts. Flowers. Strawberries. He thought of the gifts he’d sent Seiya that very day, the texts he’d sent ever since they started dating, the constant checking of his phone for a reply. Had Seiya seen those gestures as pressure?

“But… you don’t want those things?” Masakado asked, his voice tight.

Seiya hesitated, his gaze flickering back to Masakado. “It’s not that I don’t…” he started, then trailed off, as if unsure how to continue. He ran a hand through his hair, a gesture of frustration. “It’s just… I’m not good at them. I’m not good at…”

“Something like showing your feelings?” Masakado completed, a bitter laugh escaping his lips. “You mean like… being present? Like… texting me back? Or… talking to me?”

Seiya’s expression tightened. “I do talk to you,” he said, his voice defensive.

“Not really,” Masakado countered, his voice rising. “Not about anything real. And not about… us .”

Seiya looked away again, his shoulders slumping slightly. But he said nothing.

“Seiya,” Masakado said softly, “It’s true we’ve been… It’s only been four days, I know. But I’ve known you for longer. I didn’t fall for you when we formed Ae! group. So, I’ve seen you for longer than these past 3 years. I’ve seen you… I know you… I don’t need you to be someone you’re not. I just… I need you to be honest with me.”

Seiya finally looked back at him, his eyes filled with a mixture of confusion and longing. “I am being honest,” he whispered.

“No, you’re not,” Masakado countered, his voice firm but gentle. “You’re telling me what you think I want to hear. You’re telling me why you can’t be what you think I want. But you’re not telling me… what you want.”

Seiya’s breath hitched. He opened his mouth to speak, then closed it again, his expression a mixture of vulnerability and fear.

Masakado waited, his heart pounding in his chest. This was a crucial moment for them. Seiya’s next words could either bring them closer than ever or push them further apart, maybe irreparably.

Finally, Seiya spoke, his voice barely audible. “I… I want…” He trailed off, his gaze dropping to his hands.

“ What , Seiya?” Masakado prompted gently.

Seiya took a deep breath, his hands clenching into fists. He looked up at Masakado, his eyes filled with a raw honesty that Masakado had never seen before.

“I want…” he began, then paused, his voice trembling slightly. “I want… you, Yoshinori .”

Masakado froze, completely taken aback by the simplicity and rawness of Seiya’s words, his voice, his eyes. Everything screamed those three words. I want… you. From all the possibilities he had considered, this was the one he hadn’t even prepared himself to hear. I want… you. He felt all the air knocked out of his lungs. I want… you, Yoshinori.

He wouldn’t be able to sleep that night.

Seiya’s cheeks flushed crimson, and he quickly averted his gaze, his shoulders tightening. The vulnerability of his confession seemed to hit him all at once, and he looked as though he wanted to disappear. He fidgeted, shoving his hands deeper into his pockets, his posture radiating a nervous energy. The silence stretched, becoming unbearable.

“W-well… Say something!”

“I won’t be able to sleep tonight,” Masakado blurted the first thing on his mind. “A-and… I regret not having recorded your confession… You were just too cute!”

“Not something like that!!” Seiya blurted, his voice laced with a frantic edge. The blush had spread all over his ears and neck. “What do you have to say about… about… Say something more !”

Masakado, still reeling from the unexpected confession, stammered, “I… I also want to be with you forever, Seiya.”

Seiya’s eyes widened, then narrowed. “I wasn’t asking that! Say something else !”

Masakado felt utterly lost. “I… I don’t know what you want me to say.”

Seiya’s frustration boiled over.

“Well, I don’t know! You might start by explaining what was that comment about Richa making me come tonight when I had planned this date a couple of days ago… Or you could explain what was all that about the roses and strawberries at the filming location…”

Masakado felt a wave of heat wash over him. He had been acting like a maniac, trying to prove something he didn’t even understand himself. Receiving all of Seiya’s questions at once only made him freeze harder.

Seiya’s gaze bore into him.

“You haven’t been completely honest with me, have you?” he said, his voice low, but sharp. “You’ve been acting like you’re completely fine, like you don’t have any doubts or fears. But you were the one who started all of this, who pushed me into this,” and Seiya pushed a finger against Masakado’s chest, pointing every accusation into the other’s skin.

Masakado had nothing to say to that, which was fine because Seiya was not finished yet.

“And now you’re acting like I’m the only one who has to be brave when you’ve been hiding information from me all this time, pretending everything was alright when it wasn’t for you.”

Masakado’s breath caught in his throat.

Seiya was right. Masakado had been pushing, demanding, expecting. He had been so consumed by his own fear of losing Seiya that he hadn’t considered Seiya’s perspective. So busy trying to prove his own worth that he had forgotten to listen.

He took a shaky breath. “I… I was scared,” Masakado finally managed, his voice rough. “I was scared… I was more into this than you were.”

Seiya’s eyes widened slightly. “More into…?”

“Yeah,” Masakado said, looking away. “Like… I thought I was the only one who… truly cared. That you were just… going along with it.”

Seiya’s expression softened. “Masakado,” he said gently, “I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t care.”

Masakado looked back at him, a spark of hope in his eyes. “Really?”

Seiya nodded, a small smile playing on his lips. “Really.”

“What about the gifts? The roses?” Masakado asked sheepishly, his cheeks warming. “Was that… me being too much? Was it… smothering?”

Seiya chuckled softly. “No, no. It was… sweet. Just maybe a bit… over the top. Got me all confused for a few hours…”

A comfortable silence settled between them. Seiya’s gaze was steady, thoughtful.

“You know,” Seiya said softly, “you don’t have to do all that.”

Masakado nodded. “I just… I wanted to make sure you knew.”

Seiya reached out, grazing Masakado’s arm with his fingertips. “I do know, Masakado. And I appreciate it. But,” he hesitated, “next time, just… talk to me. Tell me what’s on your mind. And skip the flowers?”

Masakado’s heart was still pounding, but the frantic edge had faded. “I’ll try,” he said, a small smile playing on his lips.

Seiya returned the smile. “Good,” he said. “Because I’m not exactly an expert at this ‘feelings’ thing, you know.”

Masakado chuckled. “I know.”

Seiya shrugged. “So, I’ll need your help and maybe we can… figure it out together? Talk more? Buy fewer gifts?”

Masakado nodded, chuckling in relief. “Yeah. That sounds good.”

Seiya’s gaze lingered on Masakado’s for a moment, a silent understanding passing between them. Then he shifted slightly, a playful glint returning to his eyes. “Now,” he said, a teasing tone in his voice, “we need to do something about that awful boyfriend of yours who ignored you all day. We can’t let that happen again.”

Masakado blinked, his mind briefly derailing at the sudden change in tone. And then it clicked. Seiya was accepting it. Accepting what they were. What he was to him.

Boyfriend , he had said.

And it made Masakado’s heart race.

“I… guess he sounds awful,” Masakado said with a hint of a smile, trying to mask his own emotions as he was still processing the shift in their dynamic. “But he’s got his moments. He’s a good man, just…” He let the sentence trail off, not needing to finish. Seiya could read the unspoken words between them now, and his gaze softened.

“Just so we’re clear,” he said, his voice low, “I did just call myself your boyfriend… In case you didn’t notice.”

Masakado nodded slowly, a small smile tugging at his lips. “Yeah,” he said, his voice barely a whisper. “I heard.”

A comfortable silence settled between them, charged with unspoken emotions. Seiya’s gaze lingered on Masakado’s, like a silent acknowledgment of the shift in their relationship.

“It’s been four days,” Seiya murmured, his voice laced with a hint of quiet intensity.

Masakado’s brow furrowed slightly. “Four days…?”

Seiya’s gaze dropped to Masakado’s lips.

“Since we last kissed,” he said, his voice barely audible.

The air crackled with unspoken tension. Masakado’s heart pounded against his ribs, a frantic rhythm against the quiet night. His charged body could not even move, so Seiya took a slow step closer instead, his gaze locking with Masakado’s.

“Isn’t that… just unacceptable?” he asked, his voice low and husky.

Masakado’s breath hitched. “Yea,” he managed, his voice rough. “Yes, it is. Unbearable, too.”

Seiya’s lips curled into a small, almost imperceptible smile. He closed the remaining distance, his lips meeting Masakado’s in a kiss that was both tender and hesitant, a silent question and a whispered answer.

The kiss was slow, deliberate, a gentle exploration of newfound intimacy. It was a kiss that spoke of vulnerability, of trust, of a future built on honesty and understanding.

When they finally broke apart, breathless and flushed, Seiya’s gaze lingered on Masakado’s.

Seiya was smiling, a real, small smile that reached to the corner of his eyes. And Masakado couldn’t help but smile back.

“This isn’t the end of our half-assed date,” he breathed, his voice laced with a gentle teasing. He reached out, taking Masakado’s hand in his. “Come on.”

Masakado nodded, a sense of calm settling over him. He followed Seiya towards the car, a quiet understanding passing between them.

“You’re not gonna let me live this down, are you?” Masakado asked, a hint of amusement in his voice.

Seiya squeezed his hand gently. “Not a chance,” he said, his voice soft. “Now, get in the car.”

Masakado squeezed Seiya’s hand in return, a silent promise of what was to come for the two of them.