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Rin was never one to care about other people's opinions; others would call him the star of blue lock, and he wouldn’t bat an eye, but when it came to his brother Sae, that’s when he truly cared about one opinion, so that day when he saw the words, “The one who will change Japanese soccer is Yoichi Isagi,” after that day Rin completely shut himself he worked extra hard to get his brother’s approval in anything.
“Rin, honey…you barely touched your food,” Rin heard his mother say. He looked up and saw her worried expression. Rin only poked at his dinner. “I’m not hungry,” He said coldly as he stared at his plate. “Rin, you're a growing boy. Soccer takes a lot out of you.”
Rin felt the urge to roll his eyes, but his father would have caught him, and he would be in for a scolding session, so he picked up his chopsticks and picked at the fish and finally took a bite, his mother and father felt a sigh of relief escape them as they watched Rin eat.
“How do you like the food, honey? I hope it’s up to par with blue locks dishes,” Rin’s mother joked, making his father give a little chuckle. Rin looked at the both of them, unfazed. “It’s good.” Rin ate a few more bites and set his chopsticks down. “I’m full.”
“Are you sure? You took two bites?” His mother said as he looked at him worried, Rin nodded and grabbed his plate and placed it on the sink, His mother sighed and his fater looked at Rin with worry and a hint of sterness.
Rin liked his mother's cooking, but he just wasn’t in the mood to eat. He knew his mother had put a lot of effort into his meal, and he did feel a little guilty for not eating it all like he used to. Rin lied down on his bed with a little plop and he stared up at the ceiling, , “The one who will change Japanese soccer is Yoichi Isagi,” He heard that line again, he clenched his teeth and turned the other way hugging a pillow, Damn it…was he not good enough? How come Sae never looked at him the way he wanted to be viewed by him…he just…wanted to be his little brother again and for them to play together on the field like they used to.
Rin shut his eyes and forced himself to sleep, and eventually, he fell asleep. As he slept, visions of Sae walking away from on that cold night filled his head; the night just kept rewinding…over and over again.
When Rin woke up, it was about 5 am. he looked outside, and it was still dark. He sat up, yawing as he turned his lamp on, he felt his stomach growl and he looked down with a scowl, It turns out not eating dinner was a harsh price to pay. Any normal person would have gone to get something to eat, but this was Rin we were talking about.
He ignored the noise in his stomach as he stood up and walked to the closet. He would usually go on his morning run at 6:30, but he was feeling restless. He slipped on his running shorts and his V-neck jacket and walked downstairs.
He slipped on his shoes and ran. Without even warming up or packing his water bottle, he just ran. he didn’t know where, but he didn’t care.
After a little while, he huffed and panted as sweat poured down his face. He placed his hands on his knee and took a deep breath in and out. When he stood up and looked at where he was, he felt a mix of nostalgia and anger at where he had run to.
It was his old middle school and the field where he would watch Sae play. little visions of Rin and Sae playing on the field filled Rin’s head, but he shook it all away with anger. He huffed and continued to run.
When he stopped, he had reached his house, and thank god for that, Rin felt like he was going to pass out from exhaustion, and his throat felt like a desert. he walked into his house and he mother looked at him.
“Rin, where have you been?” Rin only walked past her without saying a word and grabbed his water bottle and chugged it down.
“Out…” Rin said as he panted, and placed the water bottle down, he sighed as he looked out the window and saw the first light of dawn.
“Did you have breakfast honey?” Rin’s mom said as she looked back smiling as she dusted the house.
“No, I’m fine,” Rin said as he walked back up to his room. He was tired, but he knew he had to push through. He had training later in the day.
He took a quick shower to wash off the sweat from his impromptu run and threw on a clean set of clothes. As he towel-dried his hair, he caught a glimpse of Sae’s old soccer trophy on the shelf. It was dusty, almost forgotten. Rin’s eyes narrowed, and he felt the competitive fire within him burn brighter. He was going to show everyone, especially Sae, that he wasn’t just the shadow behind the star player.
The house was still quiet as he made his way to the kitchen for some breakfast. The smell of his mother’s cooking filled the air, reminding him of happier times. He grabbed a banana and a protein bar, not wanting to bother her with cooking something more substantial. He knew she was already worried about his appetite. He sat at the kitchen table, staring at the banana, lost in thought.
“Rin, is that seriously all you're going to eat?” Rin’s father said as he grabbed a coat and his suitcase getting ready for work.
Rin nodded without looking up, “Yes, I have to leave for training soon. I’ll eat more later, promise,” He said.
“Alright, but you know you can’t play soccer on an empty stomach,” His father warned. Rin knew his father was right, but his mind was elsewhere. He took a bite of the banana, and his mother put a warm hand on his shoulder.
“Don’t push yourself too hard, okay?” she said with concern in her eyes. Rin nodded, trying to hide the turmoil on his own. He didn’t want them to see the pain that Sae’s words had left behind. He took a deep breath and swallowed the banana before leaving for his training.
And just like that Rin had been neglecting his eating habits for a couple of days now. He’s been skipping out on meals, overworking himself and you could clearly tell he lost some weight.
But then one faithful day someone would stop his neglect, and that was the only person who he would listen to.
Rin walked downstairs and he saw his mother fussing with the house, Rin looked over confused, “Oh Rin you're awake!” Rin’s mother said excitedly, “Your Brother is coming to visit!”
Rin’s eyes widened, “What?” Rin said as he took a step back, why was he coming back? Did he…miss him? No! Rin clenched his hands into fists as he looked away pissed.
“When’s he coming?” Rin asked his mother, “He told me was coming at 5:30.” His mother smiled clearly, happy that both of her sons would be together on the same roof again.
“Okay…” Rin said as he prepared his stuff he was gonna sleep outside if he had to. Rin didn’t want to see him, but at the same time he had missed Sae in a weird way; they barely talked in the U-20 game.
Hours had passed and he was contemplating if he even wanted to see his brother. He looked at the clock and it was 5:00, he could slip out and make the excuse that he was going to a friend's house but Rin didn’t exactly have any friends.
Rin slipped past his mother and father as they were both getting ready for the dinner, when he opened the door he saw Sae standing there preparing to ring the doorbell. Rin felt himself go pale.
“Oh it’s you.” Sae said in his monotone voice as he looked at Rin, “I…” Rin was going to say but he felt himself go numb.
Rin’s parents heard the door open and they both walked over, “Ah! Sae your home!” Rin’s mother said as she hugged Sae, Rin’s father smiled and rubbed Sae’s back. “We missed you buddy, how have you been?”
“I’ve been okay,” Sae said as he looked at his parents with a softer look, Rin looked away awkwardly. He wanted to leave but how could he know when Sae was right there.
As they all settled down for dinner Sae looked over and couldn’t help but notice Rin’s slightly slimmer form, this made Sae raise an eyebrow.
Rin looked down at the curry his mother worked hard to make, his family started to eat, Rin’s mother looked over and she sighed.
“Honey please…you're making me really worried.” Rin’s mother said as she looked up at him with worried eyes.
“Rin your mother is right just look how much weight you lost.” Rin’s father said slightly sternly, Rin looked away and was annoyed that his parents called him out in front of Sae.
“I’m not hungry, I have to go.” Rin said as he stood up, and walked upstairs leaving the untouched curry still on the table.
“Rin, wait!” Rin’s mother called out but Rin didn’t answer. He just walked upstairs, Rin’s father placed a hand on his wife’s shoulder. “I’m sure he’ll grow out of it. I mean the boy’s growing, maybe his appetite grew smaller.”
“I know but he’s losing weight too fast, that's not healthy…” Sae looked at his parents and he knew he had to get to the bottom of this, to help Rin and put his parents minds at ease.
“So what’s going on with Rin?” Sae sighed as he placed his spoon down and crossed his arms looking at his partners.
“Well…ever since Rin came back from blue lock for their mandatory break he’s been acting distant. He's been neglecting his meals and he’s been working out extra hard…maybe he wants to keep in shape for his upcoming breaks but I truly do worry about the boy.”
Sae sighed he knew why Rin was acting like this it was probably because of what he said, he sighed and looked down.
“I’ll help him.” Sae said as he stood up, “Thank you for dinner, maybe you two could leave the house for a little date?”
Sae’s parents looked at each other a little confused at Sae’s suggestion but they did need a break from all this, “Okay honey, we’ll be back before you know it.” His parents walked hand and hand as they opened the garage door and left.
Sae sighed, he felt a little pang of guilt he had never meant to make Rin neglect his health he had only wanted to motivate him, but it seems like he took it to fair. He couldn’t blame Rin after all this was his fault.
Sae walked up to Rin’s door and he looked at the room, this was the room he and Rin had to share the room full of laughter. But now there was only silence.
Sae took a breath in as he opened the door, Rin looked up at the door and sighed, it was probably his dad coming in to lecture him about wasting food again.
“Come in…” Rin said as he buried his face into his pillow, Sae opened the door, “Rin.” Rin pulled his head immediately and sat up straight. He wanted to say something, but he only turned away with an angry huff.
“What do you want?” Rin said coldly, he was still a little mad actually no he was really mad, Sae walked up to him until he was in front of Rin, “Listen Rin why are mom and dad saying you’ve been neglecting your health?” He knew the answer but he wanted to hear Rin say it himself.
“Figured it out for yourself.” Rin said as he turned away from Sae, Sae sighed this was going to be harder than expected. He sat on the bed, Rin felt his weight on the bed but still didn’t turn.
“How long has this been going on?” Sae said sternly, he was going to have to use a different tactic. A more firmer one.
“What?” Rin said as he looked at Sae and he stood up, “Don’t play stupid with me,” Sae said as he grabbed Rin’s wrist.
“Let go!” Rin said as he tried to pull away but Sae was quick enough as he pulled him over his lap, Rin gasped and tried to scramble off his lap, Sae was two steps ahead of him and he pinned Rin’s legs with his leg.
Sae quickly grabbed Rin’s pants and boxers and yanked them off, making Rin gasp and squirm even more. “What the hell?!”
Sae swatted Rin’s bottom making all the movements stop.
“Ow! What are you doing?!” Rin yelled out in shock and pain.
“I’m not playing games, Rin,” Sae said firmly. “You’re going to tell me what’s been going on with you and why you’re doing this to yourself.”
Rin only hugged the pillow stubbornly, he’s been spanked before…by his dad when he was five! Not when he was sixteen! He was a grown ass man! But somehow the way Sae held him, it brought him back to when they were little.
Sae waited for Rin to calm down and finally spoke, “Look, I know I said some harsh things, but that doesn’t mean I don’t care about you. You know how competitive I get. But, Rin, you're pushing yourself too hard. You need to eat properly and take care of yourself, you can’t keep this up.”
Rin didn't, he was going to let Sae have the satisfaction of him crying, Sae saw this and he smacked Rin’s bottom hard, now going in a ruthless pattern left cheek and then right cheek, left and right. Rin’s cheeks turned a bright red and he was biting his lip to keep from crying out.
“I’m not a child anymore, Sae!” Rin said through gritted teeth, tears threatening to fall.
“No, you’re not,” Sae agreed, his voice softer but still firm. “But you’re my little brother, and I won’t sit around and watch you destroy yourself because of me. You’re more than just someone to chase after, Rin. You’re more than my shadow.”
The room was filled with the sound of Rin’s muffled grunts as Sae’s hand continued to smack his bottom, each hit echoing in the silence. The smell of fabric and the faint scent of sweat from the early morning run filled the space. Rin felt his body jerk with each smack, but he remained stubbornly silent, not wanting to give Sae the satisfaction of hearing him admit his pain.
Sae only sighed as he saw Rin’s stubborness to admit about what he did was bad, “Rin, you can’t keep doing this, you're going to get yourself hurt or sick and I can’t have that on my conscience.” He paused and took a moment to look at Rin’s red bottom, “I know you’re trying to get stronger, I know you want to prove yourself to me but I don’t want you to do it like this, I don’t want to see you like this.”
So Sae grabbed a hairbrush off of Rin’s desk and positioned it on Rin’s bottom, Rin’s eyes widened, “You’re not using that!”
But before Rin could react, Sae brought the brush down hard on Rin’s bottom. Rin yelped, feeling the sting of the brush against his skin. It was a different type of pain than the hand smacks, it was sharp and left a burning sensation.
Rin howled in pain as Sae rained foan the hairbrush both of his cheeks were now broght red but he still refused to give in and cry, so Sae sighed and lowered the hairbrush and smacked his sit spots.
Rin’s eyes watered as he yelped, “Oww! That hurts!” He squirmed under Sae’s firm grip, trying to get away from the burning pain.
“It’s supposed to hurt, Rin. It’s supposed to make you think about what you’re doing to yourself,” Sae said, his voice a mix of frustration and concern. “You’re not just hurting yourself; you’re hurting all of us. Mom and Dad are worried, and so am I.”
The words stung more than the pain from the spanking. Rin’s chest tightened as he felt the weight of his brother’s worry. He had never seen Sae act this way before, so serious and caring. It was as if the sternness of his words was a mirror reflecting the love Sae had for him. Rin’s eyes began to water, and he bit down hard on the pillow to muffle his sobs.
Sae paused his actions and looked down at Rin, his expression softening slightly. He knew this was tough for him, but he had to get through. He placed a hand on Rin’s back and rubbed small circles, “I’m sorry, Rin, but you need to understand. You’re important to me, not just as a rival, but as my brother. And if you don’t start taking care of yourself, who will?”
Sae continued his rhythm of going to the left and the right cheek as Rin sobbed and hiccuped with wach swat of the brush, He was really starting to feel bad for Rin but he knew this was for his own good.
Finally, after what felt like an eternity, Rin’s sobs grew louder, and he couldn’t hold it in anymore. He looked up at Sae with teary eyes, “I’m sorry, Sae. I just wanted to be good enough for you to see me as more than just a shadow.” His voice cracked with emotion.
Sae’s grip loosened, and he set the hairbrush down. He pulled Rin into a tight embrace, feeling the tension in his brother’s body slowly melt away. “Rin, you’ve always been more than that to me. You’re my little brother, and no matter what happens, I’ll always be proud of you. You don’t need to push yourself so hard. We’re a team, remember?”
When Rin heard the word team he looked at Rin Sae with shock, “But I thought you didn’t care about me anymore,” Rin managed to say through his sobs.
“Rin, I never stopped caring about you, I was just being a fool, wrapped up in my own ambition,” Sae replied, stroking Rin’s hair gently.
Rin’s sobs slowly subsided, and he leaned into Sae’s embrace, feeling the warmth and comfort he hadn’t felt in a long time. The tension in his shoulders eased, and his breathing evened out. “I’m sorry, I just felt like I wasn’t good enough after what you said,” Rin whispered.
Sae sighed, regret clear in his voice, “I didn’t mean it like that, Rin. You’re an amazing player. And you will change Japanese soccer. But not because you’re chasing after me. You’ll do it because you’re you. You have your own style, your own strengths. You don’t need to be like me to be great.”
Rin looked up, his eyes red from crying, and studied Sae’s face, searching for any hint of deception. But all he saw was sincerity. “Do you really mean that?” he asked tentatively.
Sae nodded, his expression earnest. “I do, Rin. I’ve always meant it. You’re incredible in your own way. And I’ve been selfish, expecting you to follow in my footsteps without considering what you truly want. That’s not fair to you.” He paused, his hand still stroking Rin’s hair. “I’m proud of you, no matter what happens on the field. I’ll always be your biggest fan, even if I’m also your toughest critic.”
Rin sniffled and leaned into the embrace, feeling a weight lifted from his shoulders. He had missed this, the bond they shared, the unspoken understanding between them. “Okay, Sae. I’ll try to eat better and not push myself so hard. For me, not just to get your attention.”
“Now then I think we have something else to deal with don’t we?” Sae said sternly, Rin’s eyes widened and he sat up. “What do you mean?”
“You’re going to sit down and eat your dinner.” Sae’s eyes were firm but the concern was still there, Rin nodded knowing that he had to do this.
Sae helped Rin up and Rin pulled his pants up with a hiss, they both went downstairs, the curry was cold but it was still delicious, Rin took a bite and his eyes widened, it was still good, he had missed his mother’s cooking.
“See, Rin, it’s okay to enjoy food, it’s okay to not be perfect all the time. You’re still amazing, regardless of what I said,” Sae said, his voice gentle but firm.
Rin nodded, taking another mouthful of the curry. It was strange, but the warmth of the food and the comfort of Sae’s presence made the tension in his chest ease. He felt a mix of embarrassment and relief, knowing that his brother was looking out for him.
Rin felt himself starting to get full but his plate wasn’t even empty yet, so as he pushed away the plate Sae looked at him sternly, are you sure you want to do that?”
“But it’s cold,” Rin complained, his voice still a little shaky from crying.
“So heat it up,” Sae said, not backing down. “You need to eat, Rin. You need real food, and you need to eat it like a human being, sitting at the table with your family.”
Rin sighed but knew he couldn’t argue with Sae, not when he was this determined. He took the plate and warmed it up in the microwave. The smell of curry filled the kitchen again, and his stomach growled in anticipation. As he sat back down, Sae handed him a glass of water. “Drink this. It’ll help with digestion.”
The two brothers sat in silence as Rin ate his meal. The occasional clinking of the spoon against the plate echoed through the room. Rin’s eyes remained glued to his food, avoiding the gaze of his brother. Each bite felt like a silent apology to his parents and a step towards healing his body.
Sae and Rin heard the garge door open and they saw Rin and Sae eating at the table, their mother walked in with a smile on her face, “Oh my boys are finally getting along again!” She exclaimed as she walked over to them and gave them both a kiss on their foreheads.
Rin blushed, and Sae rolled his eyes, “Mom, we’re not little kids anymore.”
“I know, but it’s still nice to see you two together again. And look, Rin’s eating!” she said with a relieved smile.
“Yeah, I convinced him it was for the best,” Sae said, giving Rin a gentle nudge with his foot under the table.
Their father walked in, looking surprised at the scene before him, “What’s going on here? Did I miss something?”
“Oh, just a little brotherly bonding over dinner,” Sae said, a hint of a smirk playing on his lips. Rin shot him a glare, but there was no malice in it, just a playful sibling rivalry.
The rest of the evening passed peacefully. Sae talked about his experiences in the professional soccer world, and Rin listened intently, feeling his admiration for his brother grow stronger. They didn’t speak of the earlier incident, but the air in the room felt lighter, as if the storm had passed and left a gentle rain in its wake.
Rin looked at Sae as he was talking to his dad about Spain, Rin looked down at his finished plate, he knew his brother was there for him.