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There's another shout from my room and I can't help it. I can't stop it. The shadows just explode like they have a mind of their own, rattling the windows.
But not shattering , Sgaeyl notes sarcastically. You're getting better at this .
I don't dignify her comment with a response. Instead I take a breath trying to get myself under control. But who am I kidding? I've never been in control. Not when it comes to Violet. And hearing her cry out like that in pain? It takes every ounce of my self-control not to storm in there and squeeze the living shit out of Brennan for hurting her.
“You should get out of here. This really isn't healthy”, Garrick says from where he leans next to me against the wall. “I could come get you once it's over.”
But I shake my head. Brennan has already banned me from my room claiming I was disturbing his work too much. Which to be fair I had been, but I will not leave the house.
“I just wish I killed them slower”, I say, letting my head fall against the stone wall.
From inside my bedroom I hear Violet whimper again and I squeeze my eyes shut only to be met with the image of her on that chair. Face swollen and burised. Bones broken. An image that surely will forever be etched into my subconscious.
“You got her out”, Garrick tells me softly.
Which is true but: “I also wasn't fast enough”, I say to him.
Another cry comes through the door and I dig my nails into the palms of my hands, trying to keep my shadows inside. Fuck, how long is this going to take?
Tairn says the Mender is about three quarters done , Sgaeyl tells me.
I blink. Only? He's been at it for hours!
My dragon has the decency to hesitate before saying. You've seen how she looked.
I grit my teeth at the unwelcome reminder of seeing Violet's black and blue body when she'd changed earlier in Basgiath. I'd almost lost my shit then. Wishing I could kill all of the assholes at this so-called college all over again.
Before I can answer my dragon though another voice demands my attention.
“Xaden”, I open my eyes to find Bodhi, still in his flight leathers, rounding the corner. My cousin looks like he always has, a softer, more reasonable version of myself. Now he's frowning though, sighing. “The Assembly, they're asking for you”, he says as he stops in front of me.
Right. I bet they are. Because I brought half of Basgiath to Aretia announced. Because I put a giant fucking target on this whole revolution I'm running. Because I put the city I've spent the last six years carefully rebuilding under everyone's noses in mortal danger. But still…
Another cry sounds through the bedroom door, setting my nerves on fire.
“The Assembly can get fucked”, I grind out between clenched teeth.
Bodhi nods, his gaze flickering to the bedroom door, before settling back on me. “That's what I told them. But they didn't want to listen.” Absent-mindedly, he runs his fingers through his hair. “I can talk to them and get the riders settled. If I have your permission. Put them up in the barracks and family quarters if we run out of room.”
I nod, not really paying attention to whatever he's saying, my head falling against the concrete wall again in exhaustion as if it's me that's getting mended in there. “Yes, yes that's a good idea.”
Distantly I see Bodhi nodding and I except him to retreat without another word. But to my surprise he steps forward and settles one of his massive hands on my shoulder. “She's going to be alright, you know?”, he tells me quietly. “If the last few months have taught me anything it's that Violet is a lot tougher than she looks.”
I feel a ghost of a smile cross my features despite everything. “I know”, I tell him. Gods, if anyone knows it's me.
He nods at me and walks away just as another cry echoes through the bedroom door. Louder this time and followed by muffled sobs. I bite my lip in an effort to stay in control.
Tairn says those were the hips , Sgaeyl tells me softly . He says those were the last of her bones.
Thank you for asking , I say down the bond. And I feel a bit of warm emotion as a response almost like sympathy. Which is weird. Sgaeyl is never sympathetic with anyone. But on the other hand she had been rather shocked at the extent of the torture.
“Bodhi’s right, you know?”, Garrick says. “She’s going to be fine.”
“I know, she is”, I tell him. “But she also wouldn't have to be alright if it weren't for me, Garrick. They wanted me, not her.”
Gods, everything that had happened to her. From Resson, to her near burn out, to now this. Everything was solely my fault.
“I don't think she cares”, Garrick says. “I don't -”
“But I do”, I almost explode at him. The shadows once again escaping from my control. Garrick stares at me, holding out his hands in quiet surrender. He doesn't flinch though, he never has.
“Sorry”, I say, rubbing my forehead as the shadows retreat. “It's just been a long few days.”
“I know”, he says. And he does know. He's been there from the beginning.
From the moment in the sparring gym when everything went to shit. When the panic had seeped over from Tairn into me. Causing me to stumble right there on the mat.
“What's wrong?” Garrick had asked, pausing mid-match. And I managed nothing more than an unsure shake of my head as I tried to separate my emotions from the black dragons.
Gods, how did Violet manage to feel him with all his intensity all the time? I've never felt his emotions before, hadn't known I'd be able to.
And you shouldn't , Sgaeyl had said, sounding more than alarmed. Only intense feelings seep over to the rider of a mate. Something's wrong.
“Xaden?”
“Violet. Something's wrong with Violet”, I'd told Garrick. “We need to go. Now.”
So Garrick had been there from the beginning, from helping to set up the rescue plan, to helping me execute it. To now, standing with me here in the hallway listening to Violet's cries and watching me slowly lose my sanity.
“Thank you by the way”, I tell him. “You and Bodhi are good friends. I don't think I say that often enough to either of you.”
Garrick smirks and lifts an eyebrow. “What? No love confession for me? Really, Xaden, I'm disappointed.”
I roll my eyes at him. “If you want love, get your shit together with Imogen.”
He doesn't respond to that. Of course not. I don't care either way though as beside me the door finally opens.
Brennan steps out, looking rather exhausted. “I'm done”, he tells me. “She's asking for you.”
I've pushed myself off the wall before he'd even finished the sentence.
“She needs sleep though, Riorson. Understood?”, Brennan says, clearly in protective big brother mode. Little does he know I'm right there with him.
“I know”, I say nodding at him as I step through the door. “Thank you, Brennan.”