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Satone Shichimiya is in love with Togashi Yuuta. It was the simple truth she’d begun to dawn on, unwilling to put it into spoken words.
It was a problem, growing greater than what the Magical Devil girl could handle. She looked everywhere for an angel to pin these haunting feelings on and vanquish. But there was none. She knew there wouldn’t be.
She’d spent all day trying anyway. Exhausted and defeated, the girl lay face down in her bed, muffled groans leaking from lips creased with smile lines.
And yet, she wasn’t smiling now. Like the visions Morisummer used to describe to her, she was assaulted by imaginary scenes of Yuuta. Her Yuusha.
Their noses touching back in middle school, the flash of red that came over him, the adorable gasp he made. So out of character for the Black Flame Dragon, but she hardly minded. At that time, she’d been willing to give up her magic for him. To indulge in just being with Yuuta, without the antics. A normal existence, as lovers.
But she hadn’t. The regret lingered as she was met with the thought of what could be.
His lips, pursed as they softly connected with her own. They’d probably be soft, too. He always took care of himself pretty well.
Her face was heated, heavy breathing uncomfortable into the mattress.
And even further than that… a night alone with him. His family in Jakarta, just her and him. They’d both grown since highschool. He was taller. His shoulders were broader, and his hands had the look of a boy. She’d hold those reliable fingers in hers, as their unclothed skin melded together and--
She pushed her face into her pillow, throat screeching in a silent scream. Her legs uselessly kicked against the sheets in a fit of overwhelmed emotions. She sat up, eyes adjusting to the dim light of her room as a line of drools disconnected from between her and the pillow. She could feel it, how her face was fraught with scarlet. How her heart raced, pounding even in her ears. A hand came hesitantly to her chest, as if trying to quell the drumming. Even the magic of the Devil girl wasn’t enough, and it continued.
But those fantasies and memories were just those. Fake and in the past. She’d long before made the decision to stay the Magical Devil girl, in pursuit of the angels who roamed. Yuuta loved his girlfriend. Rikka was her friend, her rival, and someone she shared a mutual interest with. Homewrecking was out of the question.
And outside her realm of ability. Yuuta would never cheat. That loyalty was something she admired in him. A quality a dark part of her wishes didn’t exist. That one day he’d appear at her doorstep, and throw his arms around her, proclaiming his love for her.
That she was the one for him.
That their history together meant something more to him than it clearly did to her.
Her eyes stung with the beginnings of tears as she stared forward to her wall. She needed to do something about this. She couldn’t continue like this. She couldn’t be herself.
. . .
The rain fell in droves as they stood together under the shrine. So easily reminiscent of the time it’d happened before. How he’d thrown his cloak over the both of them, protecting her from the rain, and they ran home together. Together.
But that wasn’t possible anymore. She had to end it. So she made him gush about Rikka until her heart was broken completely.
Each word was a wound. A reminder of who she wasn’t to him. Of why she would never be that. Of the delusions she’d let slip in her mind.
It hurt.
The sting lasted as she crouched down, staring at the wetting ground, Yuuta’s soothing voice making mention of Rikka’s text.
And that was that. She watched as he ran off, throwing his jacket over his head to ward off the rain, without her. To go find Rikka. It’s how it was meant to be.
She stood, dashing out into the downpour. A high smile returned to her visage. She managed without tears. Without breaking down, she’d endured that barrage. Though, the magical Devil girl should have never doubted herself in the first place!
And then, an umbrella was thrusted into her peripherals. She traced the umbrella to its source, Yuuta’s arm. His tall frame stood over her, as his simple expression seemed to prod her to take it. He faintly explained about the umbrella, but she didn’t listen.
He came back, to offer her an umbrella. She couldn’t be under that jacket with him.
As if he was making his feelings for her clear in one action.
We can’t go together, but I care about you.
That blind kindness he’d always had.
“Unfair,” she spoke under her breath.
He looked at her, puzzled.
“A surprise attack,” she said, louder. Tears were forming. She tried to blink them away but the unmistakable burning came to her eyes. He reached out faintly, as if it would help.
She turned and ran. There wasn’t a place for her in this romance story.
The umbrella was left in the mud, her school shoes padding against the pathway as she ran with no destination. Only away.
Away from the boy who held her heart in his hands, even if he didn’t know it. Away from the boy who didn’t love her back. Away from the boy who was just her friend.
Away from the person she couldn’t help but still love.