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Most of Shauna’s life was just waiting now. She waited for Jeff’s stupid moony eyes to look away from her. She waited for each day to end. Mostly, she waited for those few glimpses of Jackie she could steal whenever their new orbits collided.
Jackie always looked so perfect. Smile on, eyes bright, hair perfectly curled. She was surrounded by the football team, the baseball team, cheerleaders – half their fucking year paid homage to her each fucking day like planets circling some distant sun.
Did she even miss her? Did she even –
Shauna swallowed the thought and let it settle deep in her gut. It still tried to claw its’ way out but she had a stronger stomach nowadays. Her eyes stayed fixed on the front door where streams of students were entering the building. Where was she? She was normally here by now. Her right hand drummed against her thigh. She started to move, ignoring the shoulder check by the leader of a group of cheerleaders and the jeering calls of “Hey, Shitman!”
A baseball player leered at her as she shoved past him. Fucking Jeff. If he kept talking about her in the locker room she was going to break his batting arm. Shauna prowled through the crowd, darting through the gaps and turned a corner. She frowned. Allie’s groupies were clustered together but there was no sign of the freshman herself.
Was it traffic?
They could just be late but…
It was practice later. Jackie would never –
The bell rang throughout the halls. Shauna scowled. Where the fuck was Jackie Taylor? This was just like her! She’d probably turn up, laughing right before practice and not looking at Shauna. Her teeth ground together. Jackie was just fine without her. She was getting rides from Allie, she had more friends that hadn’t fucked her now ex-boyfriend. All she needed was some dumb jock who did everything she said and she’d be the homecoming queen that Mrs Taylor had always dreamed of.
The halls started to empty. Shauna stalked through the crowds to homeroom and slipped in to take her now customary seat at the back of the classroom. Jackie’s fine, she repeated to herself later when she hadn’t seen her in between Bio and Trig on the first floor. Jackie’s fine, she thought again when there was no sign of her at lunch. Jackie’s normal, new minions were aimlessly spread out into their little groups. The worker bees without their queen.
She’d see her at practice, she’d see her at practice, she would see her at practice.
Shauna swallowed.
Maybe she could drive past Jackie’s house later? She’d have to be careful but if she went late enough, she’d be able to see a light on in her window as proof of life. She started chewing on her lower lip, dry skin shredded between her teeth and the faint tang of iron. She ran her tongue slowly over the torn flesh and savoured the sharp burn.
Shauna drifted through the halls to her next period. Just as she was about to walk into AP English Literature and Composition, her eyes caught on Allie’s freshmen groupies. They were huddled together, eyes wide. Normally she’d just think it was gossip – who was sleeping with whom, who’d cheated with her best friend’s boyfriend – but there was something different, ghoulish even in the serious way one of them was speaking.
She slipped closer, pretending to look in her bag for a book, and heard, “…she’s in hospital right now! Apparently, the guy ran a red light but hit the passenger side first. Hey, what the-”
The girl stuttered as Shauna pushed the kid up against a locker.
“Where is Jackie?” The girl’s nails came up to scrabble at her hands.
“Let go of me you freak-”
“Jackie always gets a ride with Allie. Tell me where she is and I’ll let you go,” Shauna promised in a low voice. The girl’s eyes widened.
“Bayshore Hospital! Near Holmdel! They took them to the emergency department there.” Shauna dropped her and ran. Behind her there was a few shouts but she ignored them. Jackie was in hospital. She’d been in hospital all day, alone. Panic fuelled her run down the steps and out to the student car park.
Jackie was hurt. She’d have been in the passenger side – what if…?
She swallowed, her dry throat aching at the movement. Tossing her bag onto the backseat, she jumped in. Jackie was alive. She had to be because if she wasn’t, she’d died because Shauna hadn’t been the one driving her. She’d died because Shauna had fucked everything up between them. She’d died because of Shauna.
She breathed in deeply.
She had to get to the hospital.
Jackie would be waiting. She’d be there.
Shauna focused intently on the drive. The hospital was only a half-hour from Wiskayok but it felt like so much longer. All she could hear was her heartbeat drumming in her ears like a funeral march; all slow and rhythmic.
The world blurred around her. She somehow managed to park, somehow managed to find the receptionist’s desk and step through the crowded halls until she came to room 25. She pushed open the door and it banged against the wall. A set of startled hazel eyes locked with hers. Then, Jackie, haloed by the lights behind her bed gasped out, “Shauna!” and reached out to her.
That was all she needed. She rushed across the room and threw herself at her best friend. Jackie wrapped her thin, strong arms around her, hands bunching into fists around her red flannel shirt. The dull world Shauna had been living in for months cracked wide open and light spilled in. She wept into the side of Jackie’s neck and hugged her back just as fiercely.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” she gasped out in a litany. “I love you, I’m so sorry.” Jackie started to cry as well and the sound of her little hitching gasps burrowed into Shauna’s brain. She pulled back, just enough to see her best friend’s face. Cuts decorated most of her right cheek and bruising was already starting to bloom. A shaking hand that didn’t feel like her own, traced the edge of a small cut. She blinked wetly. Her chest felt tight as her gaze landed on a bruise on Jackie’s temple.
Jackie pulled her in again for another crushing hug. Shauna could feel one of her hands come up to cradle the back of her head. She leaned against the edge of the bed. Then, those hands pulled her closer until they ended up curling around each other in a tangle of limbs. She couldn’t tell where she ended and Jackie started. Though, she could feel something hard digging into her leg. Her head tilted up and her breath caught when she saw the thick white cast. She wanted to ask what happened, who did it, was it Allie’s fault but all that came out of her mouth was, “I love you.”
There was a long silence. Then, Jackie pulled her closer.
“I love you too, Shipman.” Shauna shuddered and pushed herself closer. She was held just a little bit tighter. “I love you, Shauna. I love you.” Jackie repeated it fiercely and held her together as she fell apart and came back to herself again. She made a soft whining sound in the back of her throat. A hand moved to clasp the back of her neck. A nose brushed hers. Her eyes fluttered open. Jackie’s face filled her vision. “I love you, Shauna Shipman. If you ever leave me again, I won’t let you go. You hear me? You don’t get to bail on me now.”
“Say it again,” Shauna murmured. Jackie nodded and pressed their foreheads together.
“I. Love. You.” She breathed in deeply, the air from Jackie’s breath filling her own lungs. Her hand came up and she rested two fingers on the side of her friend’s windpipe. Blood and life pumped steadily beneath her fingertips. Jackie was here. She was alive.
“I’m driving you home from the hospital,” she blurted out. Jackie reached up a hand and curled it around hers.
“OK, Shipman.”
“You can stay with me? Your parents won’t be back for another month.” Jackie snorted.
“Of course you know that. You sure your Mom won’t mind?”
“It’s you, Jax.” Shauna half-shrugged and Jackie smiled warmly.
“I love you,” Jackie said again. Shauna breathed in sharply. Jackie’s warm smile turned a little bit sad and a little bit sly. She had a feeling that she’d be hearing those words a lot more often.
-
The next two days passed in a haze. The hospital had tried to get her to leave but a combination of Jackie’s not-so-polite refusal and her mom’s tired sigh had stopped that idea in its tracks. So, here she stayed. Curling around Jackie and being cuddled by her – she hadn’t felt so warm in months. It was like a long, lazy summer day when the sun’s heat drips down into your very bones.
It didn’t hurt that Jackie told her she loved her nearly every hour. Every time, it burrowed in a little deeper like the thorns of a rose bush growing tall and strong. She’d take those pinpricks of pain over the barren nothingness that had preceded it. It was maddening. It was addictive. It was Jackie.
“…hey Shipman, where’d you go?” Shauna blinked open her eyes softly. She was lying flat on her back with her best friend looking down at her. Jackie’s warm hazel eyes creased at the edges from a small smile that played around her face. Shauna basked in the attention like a lazy house cat in a sunbeam.
“I love you,” she replied. Jackie’s smile widened with a flash of teeth. Her best friend gently stroked the side of her face with one hand.
“I love you too.” Shauna shivered at the reply. Jackie’s smile deepened. Instead of replying with words that felt too small, Shauna turned and pressed her head against Jackie’s hand. Her best friend stroked a thumb gently against her cheek at the action. “But we gotta talk, Shauna.”
Her eyes snapped open. Jackie’s firm hand kept her still.
“What’s wrong?” Jackie chewed on her lower lip for a moment. She started to carefully pick her words like she was about to step into a minefield.
“I don’t want you to leave-”
“I won’t.”
“Listen, I don’t want you to but I think you should go back.” Shauna frowned at her. “To school, dummy.”
“Oh.” Had she done something wrong? Jackie had said she didn’t want her to leave but then why was she-
“Hey! Listen to me, Shipman.” Her best friend interrupted her thought spiral quickly. “I don’t want you to leave but I know your attendance record means a lot to you. For college and all that stuff. I don’t want you to…to regret this later, yeah?”
“I wouldn’t,” Shauna promised quietly. Jackie’s smile stayed but it turned a little sad.
“Look, you put me first Shipman. When it mattered, you came. So let me put you first.” Echoes of that old, vicious argument reared in the back of Shauna’s mind. This was what she’d wanted, what she had told Jackie she wanted in that final, explosive end. But then, the idea of Jackie alone in this bland room was…upsetting.
“I don’t want to leave you again.” Jackie breathed in and nodded sharply.
“It’s only for a couple more days!” Her best friend said in her pep-rally voice. “Besides, I need you to be at practice for me tomorrow Shauna and make sure the team is OK.”
“But you’ll be alone,” she pressed.
“Not for long. Because you’ll come back to me, right?”
“Always.”
“Good.” Jackie’s hand curled around her jaw and held her face firm. Shauna couldn’t look away if she tried. “Now prove it to me, yeah?”
“OK, Jax.” Jackie smiled, leaned down and pressed a kiss to her forehead. When she pulled back, Shauna had to stop herself from following. The skin where those lips had pressed, tingled with a foreign warmth.
“I love you,” Jackie repeated. Shauna melted beneath those eyes. They curled back around each other. She tried to imprint that warmth, that feeling of Jackie’s limbs against her own, into her memory to carry her through what was to come.
-
On the third day, Shauna left Jackie early in the morning. Her best friend gave her a sleepy goodbye and a slurred ‘love you’ as she left. The memory of that fuelled her back to Wiskayok and into the school building. It was emptier now that she knew Jackie wouldn’t be here.
She drifted from class to class, gave empty apologies to teachers when needed and generally kept her head down. Every time someone spoke to her or she heard Jackie’s name in the halls, she felt a little more raw, like a nerve exposed with every scrape. Her anger bubbled back up in her gut and she shied away from the other Yellowjackets in the halls. No need to burn that bridge.
Eventually though, the day was done and she trudged to the locker rooms. It wouldn’t be the same without Jackie. Her best friend loved this game and this team. On her better days, she loved getting to play and run and hunt on the pitch. Shauna loved it on her worst days because she could see it through Jackie’s eyes.
She entered the locker room, ignored the sudden silence, and padded over to her locker. After a moment, Tai nudged her elbow. Shauna looked up. Out of the corner of her eye she could see all the Senior year Yellowjackets watching her carefully.
“Jackie asked me to come,” she said. Tai nodded.
“Is she alright?”
“As much as she can be,” Shauna murmured. Over Tai’s shoulder she saw Laura Lee wince and Van and Nat exchange a worried look. “She’s still in hospital. I’m going back to see her after practice.”
“Tell Cap we miss her, yeah?” Van piped up. Her eyes flicked to take in the goalie. Van gave her a sad smile, the same one she’d given her the day after Shauna had blown up her own life. She nodded slowly and let a little bit of her rage drain away.
It would make Jackie happy to know that other people cared.
Shauna smiled and turned back to her locker. Tai didn’t push any further but she could feel her friend’s steady silent presence as they got ready. In fact, Shauna had started to feel a little more even when a familiar, grating voice echoed from the open doorway.
“…yeah, it was so traumatic! I’m just glad I don’t have to be in the hospital anymore.” Allie Stevens practically waltzed through the locker room. The other freshmen and JV squad were hanging on to her every word. She had the faintest cut on her face but she wasn’t bruised, she wasn’t aching, she wasn’t broken.
Shauna calmly started to change. She ignored Tai tensing next to her.
“Why’d they keep you?”
“Oh, they think I had, like, whiplash?” Shauna noted in the back of her mind, the way that Nat’s face twisted. The rest of the Senior Yellowjackets were flicking looks between the oblivious freshmen and Shauna.
Shauna looked away. She could hear the sound of Allie and the others getting changed. She methodically pulled on each item of clothing slowly. When she sat down on the bench, she faced Allie and her group again. They were already yanking on their cleats. Shauna pulled on her socks and shoes. She had just laced one of her shoes and was starting the other when Allie spoke again. “I really feel sorry for Jackie. I mean, it’s not like she can still be captain, right?”
Shauna stood up.
Tai moved to stand in between her and Allie. Nat scoffed and Van’s usual smile had dropped. Shauna’s eyes flicked to meet Tai’s stare. Her friend shook her head. Allie spoke again, her voice going a little wistful. “Who do you think Coach will pick? Maybe one of the midfielders?”
Tai closed her eyes and let out a quiet sigh. She still didn’t move.
“OK! Let’s get out on the pitch guys! We should get warmed up before practice!” Laura Lee’s chirpy voice filled the locker room. She was speaking a little faster than she normally did. The younger players, including Allie, quickly left with Laura Lee herding them out. Shauna’s unblinking eyes followed the group. Tai moved to stand between her and Allie as the younger girl passed by them to exit onto the pitch. Laura Lee shut the door behind herself and the younger players were completely removed from Shauna’s sightline.
There was a long moment of silence. All of the Yellowjacket’s eyes were fixed on Shauna. Tai sighed again.
“She went too far,” her friend eventually said. Shauna waited, stock still.
“That doesn’t mean we should let Shipman kill her,” Nat said immediately.
“Eh.”
“Van!”
“What? Tai’s right! She went too far!” Van threw up her hands. “I mean – Who do you think the coach will pick? If I was Shauna and it had been Tai…” She scoffed and crossed her arms.
“If we don’t let her do something now, it’ll be worse later,” Lottie piped up. Shauna considered speaking up but she could feel the tide turning in her direction. She looked calmly at Tai and let her friend decide.
“OK. Nat, Lottie - you’re both right.” Tai rubbed at her forehead. Then, she dropped her hand and met her gaze. “Shauna, if I get you a shot, you only get the one chance, understood?”
“Understood.”
“You absolutely cannot kill her. If you try, who will take care of Jackie?” Shauna bristled but after a long moment, she nodded.
“Understood,” she grumbled. The idea of Jackie alone, waiting for her to get back, sat wrong in her stomach. The tension in the room lowered a level. Nat still looked grim but not like she was about to snitch. Shauna tilted her head slightly and the other girl sighed.
“I don’t like it Shipman but I get it – Taylor deserves better than that.”
“Great, glad we’re all on the same page.” Nat rolled her eyes and flipped the bird at Tai who just waved her off. “Shauna, when I give you the nod, that’s your one shot, OK?” Shauna nodded. She felt electric – it was the same thrill she got when they won a match or when Jackie smiled at her with that sly look in her eyes.
“Buzz buzz Yellowjackets!” Van called out gleefully. Shauna snorted and rolled her shoulders.
“Buzz buzz,” she replied with a sharp smile and stalked out of the locker rooms. Tai quickly fell into step beside her but slipped away to talk to Coach Martinez when they hit the pitch. Laura Lee took one look at Shauna’s face before jogging over to Lottie.
At that point, Shauna stopped paying attention to anything else but Tai and Allie. She moved through the warm-ups, relishing the burn in her calves. They were quickly sorted into two teams. Shauna noted that Allie had been placed into her usual midfielder position. When Tai placed her in the opposing position, her mind started to latch onto a few possibilities.
She only had one shot right?
Shauna hummed to herself and stretched her neck from side to side. When the game began, she hung back striking where needed and defending where necessary. Tai, who had taken captainship of the other team started encouraging passes between the players. It was passed to Allie once then twice; enough for Shauna to see the strategy Tai was using. Her own team, lead by Nat and filled with all the other Seniors, started to act defensively.
It was as they were setting up the third pass that Tai nodded at Shauna.
Shauna smiled and watched the ball. It was passed from Mari to Akilah to Gen to Melissa and finally to Allie. As the ball moved between Gen and Melissa, Allie started to run into position. Shauna’s heart tore – Jackie should be here. Jackie deserved to be here, playing the game she loved. Instead, she was lying in a hospital bed with a broken right leg.
Shauna loped towards her prey.
Her eyes flicked to Allie’s legs.
When Allie broke into a sprint to reach the ball, Shauna struck as it just touched her boot. There was a blur of limbs and tangled momentum. She hit the ground and rolled away. Then, she heard a high scream of agony. She turned around and saw white bone drenched in blood and torn skin.
Huh.
She’d managed to get the right leg.
Something in her settled at the sight. She put on her best apologetic look, ignoring the slightly horrified glances the rest of the Seniors sent her way. Allie cried on the ground. Misty came running to help but, sadly, that only seemed to make the situation worse. At Tai’s warning look, she retreated away from the scene. The rest of the Senior Yellowjackets gathered around her in a loose circle.
“Jesus Christ, Shipman.” Nat groaned.
“Language!”
“Holy fucking shit Shauna,” Van hissed before having to turn away from the sight of bone.
“I had one shot so I made it count,” Shauna replied with a shrug. Then, she padded off the pitch and back to the changing rooms. Jackie would be waiting for her.
-
Hair still damp from the shower, Shauna tapped her fingers on the steering wheel. Her rage had settled now it had been fed. It wasn’t justice but it was enough to tip the scales – it would have to be enough. Tai would be watching her, she knew and Jackie…
A frown settled on her face. She had really fucked up the Yellowjackets’ chances in Nationals, she could admit that much to herself. With Jackie out and Allie off the pitch, the seniors would have to draft another couple of freshmen in. Teaching them their strategy, getting them experience on the pitch – Shauna huffed.
Jackie was going to be so mad at her.
And it’s not like Shauna could lie to her! They hadn’t spoken about the whole Jeff fuck-up but even she could tell that lying to her best friend just after they’d recovered some trust would be the worst fucking decision she could make. She scowled at the brake lights of the car in front of her.
Fuck.
Fuck.
She slammed a hand against the steering wheel. A sharp pain rattled through her bones. Why did she always do this? It was like she was a dog with a bone between its’ teeth and all she could do was chew and chew and chew until she started eating her own tongue.
The rest of the way to the hospital she mourned the easy peace that had settled between her and Jackie. She sulked her way out the car park and padded along the long, bland hospital corridors. Before she could reach Jackie’s room, she breathed in deeply. Then, she packed away every little bit of guilt and fear and held it tight beneath her rib cage. After another long moment, Shauna slipped into Jackie’s hospital room.
Her best friend was sitting upright and at the sound of the door, her head snapped around. As soon as she saw Shauna, she smiled. God, it was unfair how pretty she looked in the fluorescent lights. The way she held out a hand reminded her of the pictures of those tragic saints she still had in her room. If Jackie was Saint Sebastian, did this make her the archer who fired that final arrow?
“I came back,” Shauna said. Jackie’s smile warmed and it felt like benediction. She preened quietly at the sight and settled in the chair by Jackie’s bed, taking her outstretched hand in her own. She wasn’t going to ruin this moment by telling her what she’d done. Although there was a part of her that wanted the axe to fall, wanted the punishment Jackie would give. She also wanted Jackie to know, wanted her to understand how much Shauna loved her.
“I knew you would,” Jackie murmured. After a moment, her smile turned a little more neutral but her eyes remained fixed on Shauna. “How was practice?” Her tone was carefully even. Her fingers curled around Shauna’s hand, preventing her from retreating. Her eyes were almost daring Shauna to do…something. Shauna hesitated.
“I had a great practice,” she said with a smile. It was even true – she had an excellent practice.
“I’m glad you did.” Jackie paused again, her serene gaze not faltering an inch. Oh, she definitely knew. Shauna tilted her head. “Did anything else happen?”
“Allie had an accident.” Jackie raised an eyebrow.
“Her right leg, Shauna?”
“She had a very precise accident.” If she’d looked away she would have missed the way that Jackie half-smiled. Shauna grinned and leaned forwards. Her best friend rolled her eyes but patted the bed next to her. She moved instantly and settled in at Jackie’s side like she had never left. Her best friend settled down next to her and she curled around Jackie carefully.
“Thanks Shipman,” her best friend breathed into her neck. Then, she pulled away again. Her warm eyes creased from the fond smile.
“I thought you’d be mad at me,” Shauna murmured. She couldn’t lie when Jackie looked at her like that – all warm and soft like she was something to be loved and not the half-feral creature she truly was.
“You love me.” Jackie stated with a shrug.
“That simple?”
“Well – I do love you too Shauna.” Jackie watched her shudder at the words. Her face twisted from triumph to sadness and all the way back again. “I love you,” she repeated again in a softer voice. It was Shauna’s turn to tuck her face into Jackie’s side. A gentle hand began to stroke her hair.
“I’ll help Tai get the new kids up to speed,” Shauna offered. Jackie hummed slightly.
“You don’t have to.”
“But you’d like it if I did?” Shauna pressed. She almost tensed but that gentle hand calmed her before she could get too wound up.
“Yeah, I would. But only if you want to do it.”
“I do.”
“OK. Then, thank you Shauna. I really appreciate it.” Jackie being so gentle with her – it was like salt water poured onto an open wound, like a cleaver taken to her ribs and a warm hand pulling that thorny knot of fear and guilt free. Warmth filled her and she curled desperately into her best friend. Jackie didn’t speak again but just continued to stroke her hair.
Shauna, flayed open and tired, let a dreamless sleep wash over her.
-
Later, having won the argument with the hospital and her best friend’s absent parents, Shauna gently pushed Jackie’s wheelchair through the corridors. Her mom, still on shift for another day, gave them a distracted goodbye and disappeared into a ward. Jackie, who had made fast friends with nearly every nurse in the place, was waving and saying goodbye nearly constantly.
They made the transition from wheelchair to crutches to a gentle stroll through the car park. It was a quiet morning, before visiting hours technically started and the fresh air was a welcome relief. Shauna had always hated how the hospital smelled – all sharp and stinging.
She breathed in deeply and shifted Jackie’s bag on her shoulder. She hadn’t had much, just enough to fill a small plastic bag. Shauna had very carefully not looked at the sealed bag of clothes she’d been wearing during the crash. Allie was still in the hospital after all.
Shauna glanced at Jackie out of the corner of her eye and watched her carefully. Her best friend was scowling and adjusting her crutches nearly every step. When they finally reached her car, she quickly opened the passenger side door before throwing Jackie’s bag onto the back seat. She turned around and –
Jackie was staring at the car. She’d stopped a few steps away. She was stiller than Shauna had seen her be in a while and her breathing sounded ragged and sharp. Shauna padded over, careful not to startle her. When she got closer, Jackie’s wet eyes flicked up to meet hers.
“If I had been driving, this never would have happened.”
“Shauna, you can’t know that-”
“Yeah I do and you know it too.” Jackie huffed but didn’t argue the point. With a roll of her eyes, she hopped closer and got in the car. Shauna helped her situate her crutches and gently closed the door for her. Shauna leapt into the driver’s seat. She carefully adjusted her mirror and made sure everything was perfect before she turned the key in the ignition.
When they started to move at a slow, even roll, Jackie’s hand darted out to grab her arm. Her fingers clenched tightly around the skin and Shauna could feel those glossy nails dig in. The pain was distracting and grounding all at once. The tug on her arm when she moved to change gear made her gently brake. Jackie’s hand moved and then those sharp nails were digging into the meat of her thigh.
Shauna breathed in deeply through her nose. The hand on her thigh almost burned with warmth. This was better. Kind of.
The entire journey was tense and quiet. When they reached a certain intersection, Jackie tensed and Shauna heard her breath stop. After the light changed to green, she waited a few seconds before slowly crossing. There was a low, rough breath out that filled the car.
It was only as they turned into Jackie’s street that her best friend’s grip slackened. Shauna almost missed the pain but after she’d parked and turned to look at her, Jackie could only give her a weak smile. She reached down and held her hand in her own. Her heart thudded in her chest.
“Thanks, Shipman,” Jackie rasped in a low voice. Shauna could only nod. Her own voice was stuck in her throat like it had been glued shut. She hopped out and around, helping Jackie out of the car. Together they staggered up the path. Jackie fumbled one-handed with her keys, leaning against Shauna for balance. Then, they were in the still house.
No-one had been in since Jackie had left a week ago. Her nose wrinkled at the smell of the trashcan. When she looked towards the kitchen, a single empty bowl drew her eyes. It was positioned on the breakfast bar with a spoon sticking out at an angle. She swallowed.
Jackie was busy pretending to fiddle with her keys. Shauna shrunk in on herself. Her best friend glanced up and a curious look crossed her face. “C’mon, Shauna,” Jackie said quietly. Then she began to climb the stairs. Shauna stuck close, ready to brace and take a fall if needed but they made it up the stairs and into Jackie’s room without incident.
Shauna took in the room with new eyes. It hadn’t changed. The odd remnant of Jeff was gone – she could see where the pictures of him had been removed. She swallowed when she saw her own smiling face hadn’t been exorcised. It even looked like Jackie had dug out more, older pictures of them to fill in the gaps. She looked towards the vanity and her breath stuttered.
Hanging on the back of a chair in this tomb of a house was one of Shauna’s old red flannel shirts.
It had clearly been flung there. A pair of sleep shorts had fallen beside the chair. The idea of Jackie, alone in this empty, dead house still sleeping in her shirt and still looking at her pictures…
Had it been only a week ago that Shauna had thought that Jackie didn’t miss her? Didn’t love her?
She turned to face her best friend. Jackie was fidgeting on the spot, looking carefully away. Shauna opened her mouth to speak but her voice wouldn’t out. She swallowed and stepped closer until she could feel the faint hint of Jackie’s breath dancing across her skin. Her best friend’s eyes flicked upwards. Shauna gently hugged her, arms snaking between Jackie’s side and the crutches.
There was a faint sniffle in her ear, the sound of a crutch hitting the soft bedspread and then a pair of arms wrapped themselves around her. Shauna took a little more of Jackie’s weight, mindful of her leg, and pressed a light kiss to her cheek.
Jackie’s hands twisted and curled around the fabric of her soft purple flannel shirt. Her friend stayed that way for a few minutes. Shauna ignored the burn in her muscles. It was only when Jackie herself started to pull away that she gently helped her sit down on the edge of the bed. Shauna quickly retrieved the crutches and placed them next to her friend.
Jackie’s eyes were warm and soft. Her smile was small but real. She hesitated for a moment before darting in for another quick hug. Jackie giggled a little wetly.
“Love you, Jax.”
“I love you too, Shauna.” She shuddered a little – those words always cut to the bone – but all Jackie did was cling tighter.
“Do you want me to clean downstairs while you pack?” Shauna asked quietly. She pulled back, Jackie’s arms possessively waiting until the last moment before letting go. Her best friend pouted a little and her forehead crinkled with a light frown.
“Are you sure? It smelled gross – I can do it!”
“I don’t mind it. Besides, I want to take you home so it’ll be quicker if I fix it.” Jackie’s frown melted away. She reached up and cupped Shauna’s face. Her warm fingers sent off tingling sparks wherever she touched. Her friend almost spoke for a moment but hesitated. Words had always been more Shauna’s thing and she’d come to see during her long exile from her friend’s presence how Jackie was more action focused. Before she could overthink it more, Shauna turned her head to the left and to the right, pressing quick kisses to those warm hands. Jackie shivered.
Shauna grinned and slipped away. As she darted through the door, she heard her best friend laugh. The joy of it carried her through the empty house, through cleaning out the trash, wiping down the counters and washing the dishes.
Just as she finished, a heavy duffle bag was thrown down the stairs with a loud thump that rattled the glasses in a nearby cabinet. Then there was a series of lighter thuds and Jackie was soon standing in the doorway of the kitchen. Her best friend was breathing heavily but still smiling widely.
“Let’s go home, Shipman.”
Something broken in Shauna settled at the words.
She carefully drove Jackie back, focused almost entirely on the drive - except for that hand on her thigh. When they got back home, Shauna slung Jackie’s duffle bag over her shoulder and carefully escorted her in, up the stairs and into her room.
As soon as Jackie threw herself down on the bed, that anxious thrum of nerves which had been her constant friend the last week finally settled. Jackie was safe here. She carefully placed her friend’s duffle bag down by her desk. Then, without thinking it through, she pulled off her flannel shirt and offered it out to her best friend.
Jackie grabbed it immediately. Her bright eyes fixed on Shauna’s face and her lips curled upwards into a slow smile. Jackie sat up in the bed and pulled on the flannel shirt. She looked cosy - the flannel was probably still warm from Shauna’s own body.
Shauna didn’t quite know what she was feeling in that moment. Jackie was sitting in her bed, wearing her shirt and….
She huffed. Jackie reached out and she slipped over to lie down next to her best friend. Possessive, loving hands pulled her close and they settled around each other again. Shauna never wanted to leave.
She laced her fingers with Jackie’s and squeezed. Jackie held her a little tighter. Her best friend was half flopped on top of her like a warm weighted blanket. Shauna let herself rest.
Jackie was safe here.
-
Shauna eyed the school building with suspicion. Already kids were streaming in and out. Jackie was leaning into her side and fiddling with her crutches. Luckily they shared the same homeroom but they barely shared any classes. Jackie couldn’t carry her books and get around. What if someone knocked into her? What if she fell?
Shauna’s heart thrummed in her chest. It wasn’t fucking fair that the one thing she loved above all else could just go wandering into danger. The stairs were a nightmare around changeover times and Jackie’s timetable had her moving all over the fucking place.
If she was hurt again, especially when Shauna was supposed to be watching her, she might actually go kill Allie for putting them into this mess. Although that would probably upset Jackie.
Fuck.
It was with a sense of overwhelming doom she helped Jackie grab her books and hop her way to homeroom. Everywhere they went, people watched wide-eyed. She could practically feel the gossip dripping down the back of her neck like cold oil. The feeling stuck to her skin through homeroom and through Jackie’s slow progress in the halls. Other kids flowed around them but already a few hadn’t been watching where they were going and Shauna had all but tackled them to get them away from her best friend who really couldn’t break a fall at the moment.
Fuck. Fuck!
She hated this.
They reached the staircase where they’d split, Jackie going upwards for calculus and Shauna to another AP class, and her best friend stopped. Jackie raised an eyebrow at her.
“C’mon Shauna, I don’t want to make you late for class!” She balanced on her crutched and made grabby hands for her books. Shauna frowned and shook her head.
“I don’t care. I’m not leaving until you’re-” She cut off her sentence as one of the baseball team appeared. Luckily it wasn’t Jeff (luckily for him anyway) but the boy tried to move in between them.
“Hey Jackie! Want some help?” He asked loudly. Shauna could feel herself tensing. She was going to break his fucking arm –
Just as she moved forwards, a slim arm landed across her shoulders. The smell of cigarettes and leather was the only thing stopping her from attacking the new interloper.
“Hey Chad, move the fuck along,” Nat said. The boy twisted around, a sneer on his face.
“It’s Brad-“
“Brad, Chad, whatever. Fuck off - Yellowjackets business.” Brad looked towards Jackie who just raised an eyebrow. Nat kept her arm around Shauna’s shoulders until the boy had slunk off into the crowds. Jackie hopped a step closer, leaned on one crutch, and gently ran a finger over Shauna’s clenched hand. Shauna loosened her grip and ignored the vivid red marks from the ring binder notebook that had dug into her palm.
It wasn’t safe here.
Jackie wasn’t-
She swallowed. Nat reached out and grabbed Jackie’s books from her limp hands. Shauna’s head snapped to the side at the movement. “Yeah, yeah. Real scary Shipman,” Nat snarked.
“What’re you doing?” Shauna hissed, her hackles rising upwards.
“Yellowjacket’s business. I’m taking care of the Cap.” Nat rolled her eyes and gently poked at Shauna’s side. “Get to class dork. Don’t leave Tai hanging in your nerd corner.” Shauna bristled, about to protest again but this time, Jackie spoke up.
“I’ll be safe with Nat, Shauna. Go be brilliant – I love you.” Shauna’s thoughts stopped. Had Jackie just said…? In public?
She hadn’t…
The hospital room, Shauna’s bedroom – they were all private spaces, she didn’t think –
“I love you too,” Shauna replied, dazed. Jackie smiled brilliantly. Shauna nodded to Nat, doing her best to ignore the other girl’s soft look, and tripped away. She took a seat by Tai in her class and then the rest of the day drifted by.
In between every class, she’d check on Jackie and see her with Nat, Van, Laura Lee, Lottie –
Her chest felt full to bursting when Tai gently steered her into the cafeteria and over to the Yellowjacket’s table. Normally, they all ate in their own small groups except for match days but today, the table was full with all the senior Yellowjackets. So many eyes watched their table, including Jeff’s stupid moony eyes, but Shauna let their oily gazes drift over her. She slipped into a seat beside Jackie and let herself settle into Jackie’s side. Her best friend tilted her head to grin at her and pull her close into a half-hug.
Shauna ignored the various surprised faces the other Yellowjackets were making. Jackie loved her enough to say it in public. Jackie loved her enough to cuddle her and be so soft with her in public. Shauna was so loved.
The thought scraped her raw, a quivering nerve exposed to biting air. Getting all she’d ever wanted was – fuck if this was what Laura Lee felt when she prayed, no wonder people turned to religion. Shauna breathed in deeply and settled down in her seat. This was so much better than the pot Nat had been slipping her over the past few months.
“Hey Shipman, you excited for practice later?” Jackie asked. Her best friend was half-chewing on her lip and her fingers drummed an anxious beat on the table. Shauna softened and gently placed her hand over Jackie’s.
“You’ll be there,” Shauna replied with a half-shrug. Jackie stilled for a moment before a slightly wicked grin stole across her face.
“You ready to put on a show for me Shauna?” Jackie was going to be watching her. She watched her before but it was different when they were both busy on the pitch. Jackie was going to be watching her. Shauna blinked, dazed. In the background she heard Van choke on a laugh before quickly being cut off. Shauna could only nod. She was sure she was blushing.
Luckily Jackie chose to take mercy on her. The conversation moved on but the thought circled in her mind like a vulture hovering over a carcass. It remained for the rest of lunch, her last few periods and in the locker room. She only shook herself free when she padded out onto the green grass of the pitch and sees Jackie standing next to Coach Martinez.
Her eyes narrowed. There was something small in Jackie’s hands. Her friend smiled and yelled across the pitch, “Hey Yellowjackets, form up!”
The whole team sprinted across the pitch, jostling and yelling. Shauna stayed with the team but she ached to stand beside Jackie and lean into her warmth again. Her best friend smiled at her warmly before her eyes flicked away again. “Turner get over here.”
Tai stiffened beside Van before carefully stepping out and across the thin boundary. Jackie smiled at her but Shauna could see the faint grief in her eyes. Her best friend held out the captain’s band. A dead silence fell. Shauna saw how steady Jackie’s hand was, how her throat moved with a swallow when Tai took the band, how her hand curled around empty air for a moment before dropping back down to her side.
Shauna wanted to –
“I’m only keeping it warm, Cap,” Tai said. Shauna froze. “When you’re back on your feet, it’s yours.”
And Jackie? Jackie smiled like the sun.
The group dispersed, everyone heading back to warm ups. Shauna shared a nod with Tai as she passed. She quickly darted in and gave Jackie a hug.
“Love you Jax,” she murmured. Then, she quickly detangled herself and bounded over to the other seniors to start her warm ups. Jackie’s gaze followed her and Shauna decided she was going to have the best fucking practice of her life.
She practically danced across the pitch. She was careful not to hurt anyone else but she used all her skill and energy to run rings around the other Yellowjackets. Every so often she’d look back to Jackie and see her best friend looking right back.
It was closer to the end of practice and they’d divided up into teams again. She ignored how the freshmen shied away from her. Shauna was in her usual position and she chanced a glance towards the sidelines. She stopped in her tracks. A familiar cloud of blonde hair was near Jackie.
Too near.
Shauna started to stalk across the pitch. Misty bent down near the cast. Shauna’s stalk upgraded to a long loping run.
“Uh, Tai! Code Red!” Van shouted from somewhere off near the goalposts. Her voice had gone high with worry. “Code Red Turner! Get your fucking ass over here!”
Shauna’s gaze narrowed in on her target. She was going to fucking murder that little –
A hand grabbed the collar of her shirt, yanking her back. Shauna snarled and tried to twist away. Tai’s strong arms grabbed her in bear hug and lifted her off her feet. Shauna kept her eyes fixed on Jackie as she tried to escape. Tai grunted as a strong foot whacked into her knee but she didn’t let up.
“Why did we think you’d be better with Jackie here?” Tai groaned in her ear. Shauna wordlessly snarled. Misty was too close, Jackie wasn’t safe, she wasn’t –
Another person sprinted past, long blonde hair streaming in the wind, before limping the final few steps towards Misty and Jackie. Shauna couldn’t hear what they were saying but she saw the way Misty immediately went over to Nat and helped her sit down on the bench next to Jackie. She went limp as Misty started to fuss over the other girl. She saw Jackie take a couple of hops away with her crutches.
Her heart thudded in her ears.
“Fucking Misty,” she gasped out. “If she goes near Jackie again, I’ll, I’ll-” Tai dropped her with a heavy sigh.
“Nat will handle it,” her friend promised in a tired voice.
“Jackie has to be safe, I can’t-” Her throat clammed up. She was bent over at the waist, breathing like she’d just run a marathon. Her heart ached. It wasn’t – she couldn’t stop seeing how fragile Jackie had been in that hospital room.
“She’s safe, killer. Come on – see! She’s watching.” Shauna’s head snapped up. Jackie was watching. Shauna waved. Jackie waved back. She nodded to herself.
OK.
She could do this.
Time to have the best fucking practice. Again.
The fear didn’t leave her though. It stayed with her right until Coach called time. As soon as she could, Shauna ran across the pitch to Jackie and Nat, the latter who’d taken a seat between Jackie and Misty. She was breathing heavily. The back of her throat burned and she almost wanted to vomit. She came to a stop and her eyes quickly assessed her best friend.
Jackie was fine. Not a hair out of place. Her gaze flicked down to her cast and she noticed Jackie’s shoelace had come undone. Without even thinking about it she dropped to one knee and carefully bent over to tie it into a firm knot. When she looked back up again, Jackie’s eyes all but glittered in the late afternoon sun. Her best friend reached out, cupping her face for a moment before tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. Shauna wanted to live in this long honey-filled moment – it was all golden and sweet and rich in a way that made her realise how she’d been starving.
“You were great Shauna. You were so good on the pitch,” Jackie praised. Shauna’s lashes fluttered as she breathed in a stuttered breath. She nodded, overwhelmed. Her eyes flicked to Nat who was pretending to look at the far side of the pitch.
“Are you OK Scatorccio?”
“Yeah uh-” Nat flicked an uneasy eye towards the Coaches and Misty who was gazing at Coach Scott in adoration.
“Let me help you back to the locker room.” Shauna offered. Covering for her was the least she could do given the circumstances.
“Sure thing Shipman.” Nat sighed. Shauna jumped to her feet, shouldered Jackie’s bag (ignoring the raised eyebrow her best friend gave her) and then slung Nat’s arm over her shoulder. Jackie jumped up as well and three of them hobbled into the locker rooms. As soon as they entered, Nat slipped away. Shauna quickly showered, revelling in the smell of Jackie’s lavender shower gel which the other girl had apparently slipped into her bag that morning. Then, she darted back to her best friend and they headed homewards.
For the rest of the evening, Shauna lost herself in Jackie. The memory of her fear lingered. When they went to sleep, she curled around her best friend. In the dim light, her eyes traced Jackie’s brow and nose. She remembered vividly the way they’d been cut and bruised.
Shauna cuddled closer but sleep didn’t come for her that night.
-
The next morning dawned softly. Yellow and pink hues shone around the cracks of the blinds. Shauna blinked softly and watched as Jackie’s face was slowly lit up. Everywhere was quiet. She’d heard the odd car from a nightshift worker returning home but here in their haven, all she could hear was the faint soft breaths of the person next to her.
In the early morning light, Shauna could still see the faint cuts on the side of Jackie’s face. Her eyes traced the harsh raised red scabs. She knew that in a few weeks, they’d be gone – maybe even without a trace.
Maybe.
Shauna swallowed and curled around Jackie. Her best friend mumbled in her sleep before quieting again. Shauna didn’t close her eyes. She saw the morning light climbing across her floor until it reached the walls. She saw the numbers on her alarm clock tick up higher and higher. Eventually she saw Jackie’s slack face beginning to twist with wakefulness.
Shauna held back a sigh.
She really didn’t want to go back to school again.
The thought stayed with her as they got up, as she made breakfast and as she drove in. She parked close to the building again and again they made their way inside. All Shauna could feel was the brush of Jackie’s varsity jacket against her hand and the constant knocking of shoulders and people barging past them.
It wasn’t safe here.
The thought was only further confirmed when another baseball player appeared. Brad/Chad was nowhere to be seen and Shauna didn’t bother to learn the new guy’s name before she saw him off.
Jackie was watching her and Shauna –
Shauna just smiled and watched her get escorted up the stairs by Van.
She didn’t sleep again that night.
-
Her eyes hurt on the second day. She felt so heavy and sluggish. Before she’d driven to school she’d downed about five cups of coffee and hoped the caffeine would kick in when she needed it.
Every so often she’d catch Jackie watching her out of the corner of her eye. Shauna didn’t bring it up.
This time, when they entered the school, Shauna started shoving back. She felt strung out and snappish like a string about to break. It didn’t help that Jackie’s newest wannabe helper was Randy Walsh of all the fucking people.
It was only Jackie’s hand in hers that stopped her from punching him.
She fumed as Laura Lee helped Jackie away.
She wanted –
Shauna huffed and watched Jackie’s retreating back. A group of jocks passed her on the stairs and almost knocked into her.
Shauna fucking hated this school.
That night it was rage that kept her awake. She kept drifting asleep and then jerking awake every so often with her heart pounding and palms sweating.
-
Jackie’s not safe here. Jackie’s not safe here. Jackie’s not safe here, Shauna chanted in her mind on day three. She ignored Jackie’s worried looks and scowled at the school building. This place was her fucking nightmare. They walked in together, Shauna glaring at anyone who came close. They did the usual song and dance around homeroom and getting Jackie’s books but this time when they reached the stairwell –
“Is that…?” Jackie started to ask. Shauna’s lips curled upwards and she wanted to snarl. She’s been so stupid! First, the two baseball players and then his fucking best friend Randy? Enemy fucking action as Tai would say.
“What the fuck do you want Sadecki?” Shauna growled. Jeff’s blue eyes went wide with surprise.
“Uh, hi, Shauna. How are-”
“What. Do. You. Want?” She hissed.
“I just came to see how Jackie was!” He raised his hands in mock surrender. Funny how he hadn’t even tried to talk to Jackie yet, she noted. Shauna glanced over at her best friend and saw Jackie’s nervous lip chewing had come back. Fuck. Fuck. Sadecki had to go.
“Fuck off,” Shauna told Jeff. He scowled, his easy blue eyes darkening.
“I don’t know why you’re trying to pretend like you’re her big protector now Shauna! You didn’t save her! She was only in that car because-”
Shauna stopped listening and looked at Jackie. Her best friend was shuffling on the spot, lip biting and looked smaller than she had before. She could see the scabs on her face again. Her too hot chest bubbled with – rage? Fear? She didn’t even know anymore.
Jackie’s eyes met hers. Her best friend stilled. Shauna couldn’t – she was so tired.
Hot, wet tears started to fall. Jackie startled but then her face darkened.
“Fuck off Jeff! Fuck off right now!” Jackie yelled. Jeff spluttered. Jackie hopped forwards, leaned on one crutch and brought the other up firmly between his legs. He went white. Then Shauna stopped seeing him at all as Jackie pulled her closer. Shauna curled around her, face pressing into the join of Jackie’s neck and shoulder and wept.
“I can’t, I can’t, I can’t-” She sobbed, gasping for breath. Jackie tried to shush her but Shauna couldn’t stop now. She could hear people murmuring around them and she wanted to tear at her ears, rip them off so she didn’t have to hear the hushed giggles. She raised her hands and clamped them over her ears.
She could feel Jackie’s throat vibrating with movement and Jackie’s warm arms wrapped around her waist and Jackie’s soft hand carding through her hair.
Her breathing stuttered and faltered.
She couldn’t –
She gasped for air. Her hands fell away and the roar of noise hit her. Shauna wavered on the spot. Her knees weakened. She started to crumple and Jackie yelped in fear. A strong pair of hands looped themselves around her from behind and held her up.
She was half-dragged, half-carried away from Jackie. She looked up and saw Tai’s worried face looking back. All Shauna could do was gasp like a fish out of water. Her heart thrummed anxiously, her hands were sweaty and she couldn’t think much of anything at all.
The walk to the nurse’s office was a blur of faces. At one point, Tai picked her up and her world became a black swirl of impressions.
She was laid down and then, she could smell Jackie’s familiar lavender soap. She wheezed helplessly. A warm body lay down next to her and she was gathered up into a familiar set of arms. Jackie started to rock them slightly. Her hearing came back first.
“We’re OK Shipman. We’re alright. I love you. I love you so much.” Shauna panted and reached out to grab onto Jackie’s shirt like a little kid scared of the dark. “Oh, hey there you are! Can you hear me Shauna?” She nodded frantically, teeth clacking together.
“I can’t-” she tried to say again. Jackie pulled her into a tighter hug and Shauna went boneless. It took what felt like hours for her breathing to calm. Even when she’d stopped, she was almost vibrating like a taught power cable struck by a gale. Through it all, Jackie held her and waited patiently. After a long time, Shauna pulled back. She was sure she looked miserable from the way Jackie’s worried eyes softened even further.
“What’s wrong, Shauna?” Jackie asked quietly. There was no one else in the room, just them.
“I can’t sleep,” she admitted in a quiet voice. Her best friend nodded and gently pushed a lock of hair back behind her ear.
“How long?”
“Three days.” Jackie’s face twisted and she looked so sad and Shauna could feel herself starting to cry again. Her best friend immediately pulled her into another bone-cracking hug. Shauna tried to match her breathing to Jackie’s for another few minutes. “I can’t keep you safe.” Her last words were a whisper but she knew Jackie had heard them from the way her hand stilled.
“Yes, you can.”
“Not here.” Shauna admitted. Jackie hummed slightly and resumed stroking her hair. Every time she was about to fall asleep, Shauna jerked upright again. She was a tightly wound ball of anxiety and strain. Jackie kept soothing her. A few…hours (maybe?) later, she hopped off the bed and crutched her way outside with a determined look. When she came back in, she had Shauna’s bag slung over her shoulders. Shauna rose from the bed automatically and Jackie let her take it back with a fond roll of her eyes.
“C’mon Shipman – we’ve got places to be!” Shauna balked at the sight of the closed outer door. Everyone in the school would have known about her crying fit by now. She didn’t want people staring at her. Not again. Jackie started to hop over to the doors and what else could she do but follow?
When the door opened, Shauna’s breath caught in her throat. The rest of the Senior Yellowjackets were waiting outside. Before she could overthink anything, Tai punched her lightly in the shoulder.
“Let’s go killer – Captain’s orders.” Her friend smiled with a wry tilt of her head to Jackie. Shauna swallowed and nodded. The whole team set out as one through the corridors like they were an honour guard. Nat and Tai led like the point of a spear with Van, Lottie and Laura Lee spreading out behind them. They hurried through the halls and soon entered the car park. Various yellowjackets peeled off to different cars but Nat stayed with Shauna and Jackie.
“You OK to drive Shipman?” The other girl asked quietly. Shauna nodded. Her throat clamped up at the thought of anyone but herself driving Jackie. They all tumbled into the car. Shauna drove slowly and carefully, following Nat’s soft directions to Lottie’s house. When they pulled up outside, she parked and switched the engine off with trembling hands. Jackie quickly grabbed her car keys. All of the other Yellowjacket cars were parked outside on Lottie’s ridiculously large drive. Nat brushed past Shauna’s shoulder to hammer on the door. “Open up losers!”
The door swung open and they were pulled into a mini party. The stereo was playing in the corner and alcohol filled a coffee table. Shauna felt her shoulders tighten but after a moment, she relaxed. It helped that Lottie shoved a malibu and milk straight into her hands. Van was fiddling with the massive TV and some dumb action flick popped onto the screen.
None of the Yellowjackets brought attention to her. She was just passed from person to person, plied with more drinks and Nat even took her to smoke a joint outside. Her jaw started to ache with yawns and her eyes grew heavier.
“Hey, Shauna! Come watch the movie with me? Please?” Jackie asked with wide, guileless eyes. Shauna knew if she’d been fully awake, she would have been more suspicious. As it was, she let herself get pulled down onto the L-shaped couch. She let them get covered with blankets and cushions. She let Jackie gently embrace her. She let Jackie stroke her hair.
At that point, she stopped paying attention to time. Warm darkness overtook her and she sank gratefully into a deep sleep.
-
When she opened her eyes, she knew she was still dreaming. Jackie was lying down next to her, looking at her with that warm, soft gaze. She’d had this dream before and like before she leaned up and kissed Jackie with all the love she had.
Unlike her dreams, Jackie stiffened. Shauna pulled back as if burnt. Horror started to wake her but then –
Warm lips pressed into hers again.
Jackie was kissing her back?
Jackie was kissing her.
Shauna groaned deeply. Jackie Taylor broke their kiss. The best part of her life looked down at her fiercely. “I love you,” Jackie said. Shauna shuddered and then she rose up to kiss her again and again and again.
“I love you too.”