Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Kim Dokja was finishing up a scenario but he had procrastinated quite a bit so the time limit was almost up. He knew he shouldn't have taken this scenario but had to because if he didn't then Yoo joonghyuk would've. 

With the time coming to a close he spotted the last universe lantern. He began to sprint towards the lantern simply sitting on a log in the dark void like space he was in. The feeling, the sound of water splashing under his feet as he was about to grab it. 

Ding Ding Ding!!! 

"Shit!" Kim Dokja yelled in panic. As the bell chimed through his ears. The feeling of water under his feet stopping, the universe lantern fading into the dark void. It was pitch black, he gulped. Staying still as much as he possibly could while he quietly whipped out his phone to read what the punishment was again. He simply hoped it wasn't that bad of a punishment and he could handle it but before he could lay his eyes on the lit up phone, he felt like he was falling. The phone slipping from his hands and falling quicker than he was.

"Damn it...!" His eyes widened as he squirmed in the air, soon deciding to accept his fate. Kim Dokja braced for impact but it never came. Instead he fell with a small thud. After being in the pitch black for so long it felt blinding to be under bright fluorescent light in an apartment... 

Wait. An apartment? Opening his blurry eyes, he had to blink once, twice before he spotted someone with his blurry vision. His eyes adjusting to the sudden light. Two black hairs, a small furry thing and blue hair. He rubbed his eyes as he heard the chattering and yelling of panic and confusion of the others but honestly he was too happy seeing the light again.

Nevertheless, a voice he recognized clicked him right out of a trance. "Who are you?!"

His own voice. Of course recognize his own voice right? He immediately looked up because that didn't come out of his mouth. It had to be someone else. Choosing to suddenly spring up as he saw the face of the person who called out to him. He saw the face he'd never think he'd see on another. His own. The other person was slightly taller and wore darker clothes but it had to be him. They had the same exact face. 

"I asked who you were." The man repeated, getting ready to pull out his sword. 

"Seesh.. He acts like Yoo joonghyuk-ah." He muttered to cope but he was internally freaking out. This was incredibly weird. Where the hell was he now? "Wait- Wait- Shouldn't you ask why we have the same face first?" He stammered, trying to scoot back from the three people, the small furry thing which he realized was a lion cub with a horn? Whatever that is the least of his worries for now. 

Before he or his look alike could speak again, a shorter but older man spoke up. "Yeah. Why are there two yoohyuns?"

Those exact words felt like a sharp stab in the gut. His stomatch twisted, his eyes which were wide with confusion changed into pure fear. 'Yoohyun.' He hadn't heard that name be used for him ever since-

He gagged, vomit coming to his throat as his breathing became heavy. He didn't want to remember. He didn't need to remember. He didn't-

...

but he had to. He didn't recognize him at first since he only saw him while they were kids but the only people who knew of that name were his father, his mother and Yoojin, who was his brother. 

They realized that Dokja was on the verge of throwing up, Yoojin ordered the blue haired girl called Yerim to get some stuff but at this point it was all blurry. His fourth wall activated in full force and it was making him dizzy, nauseous and in the end he collapsed to the ground, fainted. The last things he could hear was the voice of his older brother trying to secure his head and telling his other self to carry him.

Han Yoojin was sitting on the sofa and baby talking peace before he heard a white noise, some distortion. Springing up with peace in arms, he called out. "Uhhm- YERIM, YOOHYUN!"

And simultaneously, those two appeared in the living room with a sprint, Yoojin didn't have time to explain before a person fell through the spot that was making those weird sounds. He put down peace as he stepped closer to get a look at the man's face but he seemed like he was still getting used to the lighting of the room. 

"Eugh, he looks ugly, lame like Yoohyun." Yerim commented. She's usually pretty chill, nice... Except when it comes to Yoohyun. Yoojin can't see why though, he thinks he's the handsomest brother! But as he was stuck in thought, his younger brother spoke to the man.

"Hey, who are you?!" Yoohyun spoke and the man springed up into a siting position with wide eyes as he heard Yoohyun's voice. Yoohyun's brows furrowed as he got ready to form his sword, and spoke again. "I asked who you were."

Yoojin stepped forward to stop yoohyun for now. He also saw how the man muttered something under his breath but before he could speak to yoohyun, the man was quick to ask. "Wait- Wait- Shouldn't you ask why we have the same face first?" He saw how the man stammered, trying to buy himself time.

Now that Yoojin thinks, it is weird, rather confusing to see two people with the face of yoohyun. "Yeah, why are there two yoohyuns?-" He commented on it but he couldn't fully finish his sentence before the man looked at him, the eyes wide with confusion turned into fear. 

Yoojin was shocked. He didn't, couldn't do anything for a moment. Yoohyun looking scared, especially of him felt like a stake through his heart. His older brother instincts acted out, he quickly told yerim to get warm towels and a bucket since the man looked like he was about to throw up. Yoohyun also looked shaken up for the first time ever to the man's reaction to yoojin. He'd never seen an expression like that on himself and it chilled him to the bone for some reason. 

When Yoojin turned back to the man, he was still staring at him but his face started going blurry in and out which deeply confused Yoojin. Before he could step further, the man's eyes lost light slightly,he collapsed. Most likely fainted. 

Yoojin was at a loss for words but he simply gulped and helped the man to a bed. This was gonna be a weird day. Wasn't it?

Dokja relived his life once again. That moment when his life changed. For the worst or for the better? He didn't know anymore.

"Mom... Hn.. I- I didn't mean to.."

The child let out pained sobs as his mother rushed to him. Taking hold of him, checking if he was bleeding. The child she once hated because of his monsterous aura saved her. no- Her son saved her not some random child. She started to tear up

"No, it's fine. Everything is fine dear. You didn't do anything. Mommy is here, she's fine okay?"

She looked at the man laying behind them, her now ex-husband dead on the ground. She was relieved but she had to cover up for him. She couldn't let anyone take him and make him pay for what happened today. 

"Yoohyun- No. Dokja. It's fine, everything is fine. You forget everything that happened, okay? It was my fault. Don't let anyone call you yoohyun. You're Dokja, /Kim/ dokja, okay? 

The woman held her son's face, her bloody hands imprinting the child's face with blood as she wiped away his tears. 

"You take the name I give you, my last name now okay? Not his. Not theirs. It was all mommy's fault okay?"

The child's face scrunched up in tears as she continued wiping them away. The boy stared at his mother. Too shocked to comprehend what really happened. His face and body were covered with bruises as he let out a choked sob and nodded. 

"Okay, you'll be okay. You're gonna be fine."

The woman hugged her son. She would be the murderer in their eyes if it meant saving her son. Not his son, her second son who she swore to protect after he died. 

Dokja woke up drenched in sweat, he breathed heavily as he made a panicked sound. That day was the day he became Kim Dokja.

He was an alone child who read books. He was a single child. He didn't have any siblings-

Dokja looked up at the sound of the door opening. That same slightly older man staring at him from the doorway, a snack tray in his hands. That caused his lips to tremble and his head to spin once again.

No. He couldn't deny it anymore. He had an older brother. He had a brother called Yoojin. The brother that loved him before his mother did. 

"Are you alright now? You seemed pretty afraid when you first saw me, Yoohyun." Yoojin spoke as Dokja stared at him. He was alive. How though? 

"Um. I'm okay." He sounded more like he was trying to convince himself more than trying to convince Yoojin. After a few moments of silence, Yoojin put the snack tray on the nightstand. Only then did Dokja realize that they were in a bedroom. He looked around for a bit before Yoojin spoke again. 

"You're Yoohyun right? Since you know, you have the same face as him." Yoojin chuckled awkwardly as he pulled a chair to sit by the bed.

"How are you alive." Dokja asked, he didn't care if he sounded crazy. He needed to know how. Yoojin's eyes widened at that comment. He stared. Although he was quite confused, he looked at Dokja firmly once he came to a conclusion. 

"Just as I thought. You're from another universe. That answers both our questions, no?" He chuckles, grabbing an apple to peel for Dokja. It was a habit he had for Yoohyun ever since their parents left. 

"oh. Yeah, probably." As Dokja calmed down, he remembered the penalty for the scenario. 'Penalty: Be sent to an alternative universe for two weeks.' He was too panicked to remember at the time, a small laugh left him as he remembered how Yoo Joonghyuk scolded him because he took up the scenario. He was probably looking for him right now. 

"So, could you tell me more about your universe Yoohyun?" Dokja flinched at that name now that he was thinking clearly. It was a constant reminder of his past, a haunting memory. A gulp before he managed to finally look at Yoojin in the eyes.

"it's Dokja now. Kim Dokja." He awnsered, correcting Yoojin. Yoojin froze for a moment. "Kim? As in our mother's last name? What happened to dad?" He asked, curious about what happened to him. 

Dokja stared. Were they really a happy family in this universe? Was he actually happy, didn't have to try to end everything to be able to be free? 

"He's dead. She killed him." He finally replied and Yoojin seemed to be surprised, a hum leaving his mouth as he handed an apple slice to dokja. He was internally freaked out but he gulped for a moment nevertheless he was asking questions again.

"What about me, where am i?" He had to ask. Where was he to take care of this Yoohyun? Maybe he left for university or-

"you died when you were thirteen and I was eight."  Yoojin froze, accidentally cutting his finger slightly, dropping the apple while he was cutting another apple slice for Dokja. 

"oh." He stared, his eyes wide. His expression spoke volumes. He finally coughed after a long silence. He got up, walked to the door. "sorry, excuse me for a moment, Dokja." He looked away from him. Dokja's face scrunched up. Of course it would have been way too hard for him to comprehend at once. 

He left the room and closed the door. Dokja just slumped back down, tears welling up in his eyes. He hiccuped, started sobbing slightly as he ate the apple slice that Yoojin gave him. He missed this a lot. He missed Yoojin a lot. 

 Yoojin stayed frozen outside the door for a moment before a huge sigh. That was interesting. He was dead in that universe? It just made him way more glad to be able to still be alive to take care of Yoohyun at least in this universe. Still it saddened him to hear that Dokja practically had to raise himself. 

He walked away from the room to take care of his slightly cut finger, met Yoohyun on the way along with Yerim. He smiled at them as they spotted him. Yoohyun fussed about the cut on his finger and Yerim went to grab the first-aid kit. 

"Hyung, you should have been more carefull, what happened? Did he attack you? Should I go kill him?" Yoojin chuckled at his fussing but he brushed it off. 

"No, it's fine. I just cut my finger while slicing the apples." He said and went to go and help Yerim find the first-aid kit. "Yerim!! It's in the storage room!" His voice faded away as he walked. 

Yoohyun stayed there, he realized something was off but couldn't bring himself to say anything at that time. He looked at his hand when Yoojin left the room. He was still shaking. He overheard their conversation with a skill and it shook him to his core. Their parents were never here for them in this universe and in another universe his brother wasn't there either? 

He didn't know what he did so wrong to get these endings. 

Why was he born anyway? 

"If i didn't exist, would hyung have lived happily with our parents?..."  He voiced with a mumble. Thinking out loud but his hand started to shake even more, he clenched his hand and looked at the ground with an empty expression.

"Yeah. He would have"

He started to state at his hands and blanket. De-attached and dull as the memories of those Torturous days of his past came back to haunt him.

What if this was all a dream? A haunting nightmare as dokja would call it.

Kim Dokja was over thinking the situation but a harsh knock on his door resounded in his room that cut him out of his thoughts momentarily. It wasn't long before none other than himself came through the door. He closed the door behind him and locked it. 

Dokja raises an eyebrow at Yoohyun, what was he planning to do? But before he could speak, Yoohyun started to do so. "Dokja right? I want to know what happened to Yoojin."

Dokja stared right at him. His eyes reminded him of the days he spent being toppled by others, getting pushed around every day but they also had this strange fire he knew too well. 

"Look if you don't tell me-" Dokja shut him off. 

"Sheesh, calm down! I would tell you but I really don't wanna relive the memory. " Yoohyun's eyes widened, only now did he realize that he wasn't looking at dokja in the eyes. He didn't like his eyes. He didn't like himself. He didn't-

"How are you sure I won't be affected? It's not like he-"

Dokja cut him off again. 

"Because you're me."

Dokja told him bluntly even though he normally would've sugar coated it. Maybe it was because he was talking to himself. He always had despised himself. But Yoohyun finally looked up, his expression riddled with confusion. 

"What?"

Dokja repeated after a quiet gulp. Hearing those words come out of his mouth was strange as well. 

"You heard be didn't you?"

Yoohyun stared at him, shock and despair etched on to his face by now. Only now did he realize how dokja really looked. They had the exact face but his clothes, his hair, his personality was just like yoojin. Just a bit more rougher around the edges. 

Ofcourse, yoohyun was always the one rougher around the edges. He could never compare to the hardworking and caring nature of his brother.

"..."

Silence engulfed the room. But Yoohyun calmed down in the silence. 

He was used to silence. 

Whenever his brother wasn't around, it was empty, silent even. He had learned to live with it. Getting bullied through middle, high school taught him how to cover up bruises and how to keep quiet. But keeping quiet was worth it. Since his older brother was working so hard to look out for them that he didn't wanna trouble him. 

But. 

He always had this thought, would his brother be happier with his parents? 

He looked at the floor again. His eyes empty once again, the only light in his life was his brother and he was making his life worse by existing already but the fact that his brother was dead in another universe shattered him price by peice.

Was he the cause of his death? 

Soon, A knock on the door resounded in the silent room. The person tried to open it but it was locked. Yoojin's voice ran through their ears.

"Dokja? I went to  get my finger treated. Are you okay?" He asked, knocking again just in case. Yoohyun walked up to the door. He unlocked, opened it. He quickly left without even looking at him, shocking Yoojin. 

"Sorry Hyung, I need some fresh air." Those words left him on a fly before his body moved on his own. He needed to leave. He needed to move. He needed to go far away for now. 

As Yoojin realized he couldn't catch up to yoohyun, he turned back and stared at Dokja from the doorway. "I'll give you some space Dokja." Yoojin closed the door, went to the living room. He sat on the couch and grabbed peace. He squished him between his arms as he reached for his phone.

"What the hell is happening. Ugh.. I might have to tell him of all people." He sighed, playing with peace's  paws as he stared at the particular blonde man's number before a groan.

Chapter Text

02/07/XXXX 

One of the students were bored out of their mind while everyone got ready, warmed up for P.E. A yawn escaped his mouth as he looked up, once he opened this eyes it felt like a cold brushed through his entire body because there was another student on the ledge of their classroom window. He recognized the other student, he was never awakened due to health issues but he could never tell his features apart as if his face was blurry, dark. Nonetheless, even though he was a killer's son, he felt the need to tell their teacher. 

He awkwardly shuffled over to their teacher, tapped on their shoulder so he'd turn around. "Hey, teach... Is it just me or is someone standing on the window?..." The student spoke out to their PE. teacher, pointing at the window which the other student stood. The older man lifted his head and his eyes immediately widened. There was a student standing on the ledge of the window in one of the classrooms. 

"HEY KID! GET DOWN FROM THERE! THAT'S REALLY DANGEROUS!" The middle aged man ran up near to the walk of the school. Some students were already contacting the police just in case. The student on the ledge's eyes were empty but his expression held pain, bitterness and hopelessness. His face was scrunched up in a way that told the teacher he was holding back tears. 

The boy mumbled a few things which the man couldn't read since his head was turned away from a moment. Once the kid faced the ground again, he mumbled something else which the man picked up on. 'I'm scared... But what else is there to live for?' The expression of pity returned to the man's face but the kid... The teacher couldn't make sense of his face either but he had to get the student off the ledge first.

"KID YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO-" The student walked off the ledge of the window just as the man shouted that. The students gasped as the student hit the ground in merely a few seconds. The police arrived alongside an ambulance just as he landed. 

The teacher almost couldn't bare to look at the child, it was just gruesome even for him who's seen all types of stuff in this school. Blood almost everywhere but the man realized the boy didn't scream, didn't cry. He just looked disappointed. Like he was disappointed that he was alive. 

Thankfully the fall didn't kill him since he landed on his feet and the rooftop was locked all of the time. The student fell from three floors and barely survived. As he was loaded into ambulance, a medical professional asked some questions to the principal, staff around asking for his name and parental information. 

Some students gossiped, some gave pitiful glances, some laughed. Most of the teachers never saw him. He never participated in class and was always quiet. Even the principal had to check to files for him. But the students knew. They knew how the boy was ruthlessly bullied, they knew he was the son of a murderer, an orphan, a failure. Finally, the principal came back with the file to the police that stayed behind. He was rushed to the hospital by now. "Who was that boy?..." Hushed, pitying whispers. All around, the boy's file was pulled up as the principal awnsered the police. 

"His name is... "

Yoojin hesitated to call Hyunjae. Would that bastard even help for anything not related to him?  Although it did relate to him somewhat, it was more related to his brother. This whole day was going so weird, unimaginably difficult. As he mulled over the whole ordeal, Yoojin realized the time. 

1:48 AM

It was getting really late. It'd be better to not call that man even though he'd probably pick up no matter what the time was. It'd be more of a mess, instead he got up to close the lights and leave to his room but Yoohyun's face came back into his memories, he was sweating, pupils dilated, there was a slight tremble in how he stood. It was strange, way too strange to see his younger brother like that nowadays. Panicked, desperate and scared. It was like he was shaken to his core. 

A sigh left Yoojin as he decided to go find Yoohyun. It was easy to find him since he knew his brother, after all he raised him. He slid the door to the balcony open, there he was. Yoohyun, his younger brother, turned in an instant. Yoojin saw how his eyes were wide and panicked. He paused as he saw Yoojin and Yoojin paused at his brother's expression. He frowned and walked up to his brother who suddenly scrunched up his face and hugged him almost as if he was on the verge of tears that would never end if he started.

"Oh Yoohyun..." The words left Yoojin like a mother comforting it's child although he didn't know what to make of them, how to continue them. He doesn't remember the time his brother hugged him like this. It made him realize how much Yoohyun must have held it in and how much neither of them properly talked through stuff. 

His hold was tight, like Yoojin would dissapear if he let go. Yoojin hugged him back, seeing his brother like this was something he tried to avoid. To keep his brother happy now matter how possessive or crazy he'd get. After all, he'd do the same for Yoohyun. His dear younger brother. 

"Please don't leave too, hyung."  Those words from Yoohyun made Yoojin pause. He hugged his little brother tighter, tears forming in his own eyes. It reminded him of himself, the way his own suicide plan had gotten Yoohyun killed in their past timeline. He felt selfish for even trying to act upon it even though Yoohyun was the one who left first that time. 

"I'm here Yoohyun. Your hyung isn't going anywhere." How foolish of him to never realize. All these years of arguing, these misunderstandings but Yoojin never realized his brother truly was afraid, ashamed to be left behind. No child would continue to be the same after knowing their own mother, father abandoned both of them just because they were afraid of him, their own son specifically. 

Yoojin slowly pushed him away so he could face him. He gave a bittersweet smile to his brother who started back with tears in his eyes. "Do you wanna sleep in the living room like old times?" What followed was a meek nod from Yoohyun as he tried to wipe away his tears with his sleeve.

They actually decided to sleep in the living room together, like they'd do whenever Yoohyun would get nightmares or when Yoojin had a bad day at work. They certainly weren't the healthiest siblings mentally but they sure cared. Way too much sometimes. 

Yoojin knew more than Yoohyun thought he would though. He had seen the bruises on his face, the way some of his possessions would get "lost" and he'd just get cheaper ones every time, the way his eyes drained everytime he heard anything school related, how he'd always avoid his classmates or teachers outside. He used to be a bright, energetic kid before he started middle school. It pained him to see his little brother loose hope. 

He tried. Tried to hide, tried to keep it in, to endure but someone who raises you, loves you would always find out wouldn't they? In this case, Yoojin was his only "parental" figure even though he was also a child, a teenager that was forced to grow up too quickly. Of course he'd know, freshly out of high school, the money from their parents stopped coming so he had to compromise. He quit his dreams, his pursue of his hobbies into a career to support his younger brother he loved far too much. Yoojin had tried to complain to the principal, the homeroom teacher and even the police secretly but they never did anything. If anything, they made it worse but Yoohyun never blamed him. 

Holding his younger brother now made him realize how fucked up their situation really was, Yoojin had to give up everything to raise Yoohyun while Yoohyun had to suffer silently though abandonment issues and bullying. Yoohyun and Yoojin suffered silently for each other.

They were kids that didn't know how to deal with the world that had abandoned and given up on them while trying to save each other at the same time.