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Raven yelped.
Far too quickly Charles was at her side, throwing Azazel off her and Beast with the smallest push of his mind.
Beast knocked Azazel out, Raven’s focus locked on Charles. He knew she could feel it, he didn’t need to touch her mind to read her at that moment, he knew anger and fear were rolling off him in a way they had only once before.
“Charles,” She tried, he didn’t even glance back at her. ‘Charles. Don’t.’ She pushed the thought towards him, and it startled him.
She hated him in her mind so why was she trying to communicate with him like that?
Before he could react verbally the submarine split open.
Erik exited, the metal making some form of a platform for him. Shaw’s dead body floating ahead of him. voice echoing across the beach.
“Today, our fighting stops!” Shaw’s body dropped onto the sand.
Raven understood as she looked back to Charles, the helmet he had acquired was blocking Charles from even sensing his presence. He’d been there when Shaw died, something ripped in Raven’s heart as she realized what was wrong.
Erik and Charles made eye contact and she used that moment to scream at him.
“Erik! Take that stupid thing off and don’t you dare leave him - don’t leave us!” The mix of worry and anger in her voice shocked him so much he almost lost concentration and fell to the sand.
Erik met her eyes, and saw the way she was panting, saw the way her eyes flickered back between him and Charles and then to the shore where ships where beginning to crowd.
Erik ignored her and walked to the shore, the mutants on the beach following. Raven’s comment had thrown him so off target he missed half of what he had planned to say.
“They’re training their guns on us, I can feel it.” He met Charles eyes and without wavering; “Tell me I’m wrong.” He had made it sound like a challenge. A way of telling Charles he had been right, the humans would hate them no matter what, fear and fire upon them no matter what. Yet, there was something else, smaller and Charles had almost missed it, desperation, he hadn’t meant to let seep through, the desperation that he was wrong and they wouldn’t fire, but it was there and it was obvious to Charles.
Charles had changed Erik. He knew Erik hated it.
Erik watched as Charles’ fingers moved to his temple, as he reached out to the minds on the ships and visibly flinched as he nodded.
“You’re right.” It left his mouth in a whisper and for a moment Erik felt guilty, then Charles added. “There are thousands of men on those ships. Good, honest, innocent men.” Something dangerous laced his words and it shook Erik to his core.
Charles felt Raven move closer as concern and fear poured off her.
“Charles! Don’t do it!” She yelled and he glanced back at her.
“Sorry dear,” He winced lightly as he forced a psychic command out. “Get behind the wrecks.” Moira and the other mutants followed his command. Leaving only Erik and him in front of the wrecks. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Erik raise an eyebrow at him.
“What are you doing?” Concern laced his voice and he hated it.
Charles didn’t respond. His fingers pushed harder against his temple as he placed himself in the minds of every commanding officer in front of him.
Slowly, almost every ship turned. They moved away, guns locking themselves back up. Charles could feel how Erik’s eyes stayed trained on him.
“Fuck,” The curse slipped out of Charles’ lips and yet again, Erik was taken by complete surprise.
Then, Charles yelled, no words, just a yell. He caught his breath and yelled again, this time a single word. “GO!” His hand dropped from his temple and cut through the air, the lingering ships left, turning their backs on the shore, guns and weapons kept locked away.
Charles stumbled on his feet, eyes flickering open and closed. He grasped the last dregs of his power supply, pulled them out and reached the minds of Shaw’s mutants, checking them for hostile intent. He found none, so he dropped it, stopped his mind from reaching others and let himself fall.
Erik caught him before he hit the floor. He didn’t have the strength to keep his eyes open yet he felt it the second Erik’s mind was no longer a void part of him relaxed at that.
“Charles? Don’t you dare die on me- on us-”
‘m not dying.’ His thoughts were slurred as he tried his best to push it into Erik’s head, there was no way he was saying anything verbally for a minute or two.
He felt a familiar presence stalk towards them. Anger rolling off it in a way that made him flinch in Erik’s arms.
“Charles?” Erik whispered, concern heavy in his voice now.
‘I may have pissed my sister off,’ He admitted as his eyes flickered open.
Charles let himself admire Erik’s face for as long as he got time to before Raven’s hands were on his shoulders and drawing his attention to her.
“You complete moron!” Raven’s voice had a bite to it that confirmed she was mad at him, right fully so he thought.
Her hands cupped his face and she pushed their foreheads together.
“You promised you wouldn’t do that again,” She was whispering now.
“I know, I’m sorry.” He smiled at her weakly, his voice hoarse.
“Honestly-” She choked over her words for a moment, “There was no need to show off like that”
“I wasn’t-”
He coughed and his eyes flickered back to close. Charles felt her voice in his mind.
‘It’s okay, don’t push yourself anymore. You scared me. I thought I’d lose you.’
‘I’m not going anywhere, you know that.’
He could feel her smile at him lightly, then press a kiss to his temple.
“I’m going to work out how to get us home, you rest.” Her eyes flickered up to Erik. “You, just stay with him.” She said softly, like she was unsure of her own words. Then, her presence became more distant as she walked away.
Charles couldn’t keep clinging to conscious, he was vaguely aware of the way Erik lightly shook him when he started loosing his conscious. He didn’t cling back to it, let it slip away, he didn’t have the energy.
—
Erik rested his head in his hands, his mind rapidly escaping him again, it had begun to do that recently. It always drifted to the same place, the same person.
Charles Xavier.
Erik hates Charles Xavier.
He hates the way his mind constantly wonders to think of him.
He hates his unconditional love.
His unwavering faith in him.
His perfect blue eyes and the way they looked at him.
His confidence in him, in them.
His gorgeous face.
His stupid voice.
His inability to feel alone when Charles is there, the way they can’t leave the other.
He hates that he can’t stand by idly when Charles is hurt.
He hates the way Charles looks at him like he’s more than just the weapon he was made into.
Erik hates Ch-
No.
Erik loves Charles, he always has.
He hates that he’s in love with Charles.
Or he did hate it.
Right now he wasn’t sure exactly what he felt.
“Erik?” Raven’s voice cut through his thoughts. “He’ll be okay,” she told him.
Erik pulled his head out of his hands to look at her as she stepped slowly into the room watching as the news made the tension in his muscles visibly dissipate. Raven pulled herself onto a table near Erik, he looked away as she smiled softly.
“He’ll want you there when he wakes up,” She told him and his eyes snapped back to hers because what?
Charles would want him there..?
Why?
“Earlier, at the beach,” Raven started and Erik felt like he’d been pulled out of his thoughts, “He was scared, Erik. I’ve only seen him like that once before, when I almost got taken.” She paused, holding his eyes for a moment. “He won’t just want you there Erik, he’ll need you there. He’ll need to know you didn’t leave.”
Erik’s brain short-circuited at that information. It was pathetic, like he was a teenager with a crush. He hated it. He dragged his hand through his hair, trying desperately to ground himself, to keep himself present.
“Okay.” His voice was softer than he’d meant for it to be and Raven flashed him some sort of smile that told him she knew why and then she slipped from the table and into the door frame, turning to Erik.
“He’ll wake up soon,” She said as the shadows seemed to claim her like they always did when she left a room.
The hatred for his love for Charles had stemmed from the idea, the fear, that he couldn’t stay by Charles’ side, the idea that no matter what Charles wouldn’t understand him or his methods.
Part of him was yelling at him that he was still right in thinking that, Charles’ stunt at the beach didn’t change anything, but another, much louder part of him was pointing out just how far Charles had gone.
Raven’s words reached that part, backed it up, because Charles had gone that far to keep Erik and that had to mean something, that had to mean so many somethings.
He’d exhausted himself controlling multiple minds so they turned their ships around and didn’t fire upon the beach, all so Erik hadn’t gone too far after Shaw.
Something felt like a stab to Erik’s heart as he remembered something, something that had been pushed down as Charles had collapsed in to his arms on the beach.
Charles had held him still, kept him frozen with his mind as Erik had killed him.
That had to mean something too, just how out of character Charles had begun to act.
Both the parts could agree on something, he needed to stay at least until he knew Charles was okay.
The metal in the room seemed to loosen as he let himself decide on that, decide he’d stay and talk to Charles at the very least. He rolled his shoulders back, easing the tension that had been over-taking them.
He stood, shoving his hands into the pockets of his leather jacket and slipping from the room.
Erik had memorized the house’s layout from almost the moment he first arrived.
Force of habit. Scoping out anything unfamiliar for every possible exit, living on edge.
Charles noticed it, Erik knew he had, he knew he was aware of the way he subconsciously reached out to the metal in every unfamiliar environment. The way he immediately had an exit plan after entering a new space. Charles had always lightly brushed their minds together when Erik’s mind had been too loud about it, had run too far and took him out of the moment in an attempt to keep him safe from, normally, nothing.
He pushed the door to Charles’ room open.
It was dark, a small lamp the only source of light in the room, the curtains drawn.
On one side of the room was a bookshelf, an arm chair arranged beside it with a small table in front of it. Erik moved towards it.
The shadows wrapped around him as he sat, body tensed to complete stillness as his eyes never left the spot where Charles was laying.
Charles’ breathing filled the room, it seemed relatively steady.
It wasn’t long before Erik felt the comforting brush of Charles’ mind, and heard his breathing change. He tilted his head as he watched Charles turn towards him and noticed the small smile that graced his lips as they locked eyes. Unintentionally Erik’s lips pulled into a similar smile.
Charles just looked at him for a moment and Erik tilted his head again, shifting on the chair slightly.
“You stayed. No helmet.” Charles commented, then winced and looked away.
Erik chose that moment to move from the chair and sit at the end of his bed.
“The helmet is with Hank, he said something about wanting to study it.”
Charles nodded, and looked back to Erik, like the curtain he’d fixated on suddenly wasn’t all that interesting. There was something in his eyes and Erik smiled softly at him.
“I won’t put it back on,” He promised, “If that’s what you’re worried about.”
“Yeah, I know.” Charles seemed lost in his own head.
Erik was more than prepared to sit there until he was ready to talk because of course he was, he was stupidly in love with Charles.
Charles pulled himself up, sitting with his head resting against the wall, his beautiful blue eyes looked at Erik with some sort of feeling he hadn’t before noticed glimmering in them. He was pretty sure it was a new development.
Erik shifted where he was sitting and then prompted Charles to speak.
“I’m sorry, by the way, about all of it.”
“I know you are,” Charles said as a small smile pulled at his lips.
“Then, what’s on your mind?”
Charles hesitated for a moment before, “Why’d you put it on Erik?”
Erik understood what he meant immediately. He hesitated for a moment before sighing.
“I couldn’t bare you being in my head while I killed Shaw,” he admitted, eyes moving away from Charles entirely.
A silence passed between them for a beat.
“I felt it,” Charles was whispering now and Erik couldn’t help but look at him again, because that whisper sounded so pained it hurt him to hear. He regretted it instantly, those blue eyes filled with something he for once couldn’t quite read, but it was something full of pain.
“What?”
“I felt Shaw die. I felt the coin go through his head as if it went through my own.”
Erik’s heart may as well have been ripped from his chest with that news. He didn’t know what to do but stare blankly at the man in front of him, he knew Charles had held Shaw in place, but it had never occurred to him that it would hurt him like that.
Charles gave him a small smile, one full of self-consciousness.
“I didn’t realize- I’m sorry,” Charles smiled fondly as Erik tripped over his words.
“It’s okay, it’s just,” He paused for a moment, smile dropping, “A lot.”
Erik shifted where he sat, he wasn’t quite sure what to say, he looked away, mind running in that way it always did when Charles was on it. He couldn’t quite catch his mind as it ran, they had both known Erik would kill Shaw, yet it was somehow something he wasn’t quite so sure of now.
Had it been the right move?
Killing Shaw when it put Charles and him here, so far from what they’d had.
Charles placed a hand on Erik’s arm, he snapped from his thoughts and locked their eyes.
“Erik, Shaw deserved to die. You did the right thing, killing him.”
“Did you-” Erik flinched, he hated himself for thinking of asking that.
“You think loudly, but even if you didn’t I know you well enough to know what you’re thinking.”
Charles removed his hand from Erik’s arm and he missed the touch instantly. Charles’ eyes seemed to go distant.
“I apologize, my friend.” Erik tilted his head, asking the silent question and Charles answered by tapping his temple.
He moved his eyes from Erik and to anything else in the room.
Something worked it’s way up to Erik’s mind, something Raven had said to him earlier.
“Raven talked to me earlier,” He started, drawing Charles’ attention back to him. “She told me about how she’d only seen you like you were on the beach once before, she said it was when she was almost taken.” Charles winced and nodded, Erik didn’t like that reaction but Charles hadn’t told him to shut up, “What were you scared of?” There was an almost silent question of was it me? behind his words.
He knew Charles had understood with the way his eyes softened.
“It wasn’t you. Well, not in the way you’re thinking. If I hadn’t acted they’d have fired on us and you’d have send the missiles back. You and Raven would have left.”
“You mean-”
“I was scared of losing you,” There was a pause, “and Raven.”
“So you just,” Erik gestured vaguely because there really weren’t any words for what had happened. Charles chucked lowly.
“I killed someone the first time, I didn’t know how to control it well enough.”
Erik blinked, dumbfounded. Charles, Charles Xavier had killed someone?
“More than one.” Charles blinked. “Sorry.”
“You can’t control it, can you?”
“Not when I’m this exhausted,” He admitted. “I mean, you’re aware of all the metal in this room, are you not?” Erik nodded. “It’s like that for me, but with minds. Normally, I can tune one or two out without much effort, but I controlled a good number of minds and changed their orders, as well as held a dying mind still, right now I can’t block anything out so if you’re thinking loudly, I will hear it.” Erik nodded again.
“Well, I guess if you catch a stray thought or two it’s my own fault.” Charles laughed at that, smiling as he said,
“I guess it is.”
A comfortable silence settled over them again. Eyes locked, faint, almost matching, smiles painted on their faces. Charles voice was barely above a whisper,
“You’re not going to tell me to suppress my powers?”
“No. I was wrong for ever telling you to suppress your powers. You should be proud of them.”
Charles blinked at him for a moment, smiled and ducked his head. Erik reached out, fingers brushing Charles’ chin just enough to make him look back at him.
“Really. I mean it.”
Then, before Charles could so much as nod Erik had grabbed onto his shirt and pulled him closer. He let their lips brush together as he whispered,
“No restrictions, no suppression.”
Then, he was kissing Charles.
Charles’ hands found Erik’s face, holding it gently while at the same time tugging him closer, desperation painted in to his actions.
Erik smiled into the kiss as he felt him brush his mind, felt the desperation and longing in every of his actions. Charles smiled back and within a second, he was being pulled towards him. They were forced to part for a moment as Charles laid himself back down and pulled Erik on top of him, he chuckled as his eyes locked onto the man under him, he was beaming up at him.
He moved his hand cupping Erik’s face to brush against his temple for a moment, so quickly and lightly it could have been an accident, but there was a silent question and Erik couldn’t help but smile at him.
He nodded as he leaned in again, whispering above his lips,
“I want you. All of you.”
He pushed their lips back together and this time he felt Charles in his mind.
Uncontrolled.
Loose.
He was so far from the Charles he knew like this, so far from the controlled man who ran a school yet, somehow, still so Charles. He liked it. Charles smiled into the kiss from underneath him.
A memory lingered at the back of his mind, he was sure Charles knew, yet he found himself pulling away anyway.
“You know how long I’ve wanted this, don’t you?” He whispered and Charles nodded.
Erik smiled as he moved so he could kiss up his neck,
“On the beach, when you’re in my head like this,” he moved to kiss up the other side of his neck, “I feel like I know you the best like this.” Erik smiled as he moved up to lock his eyes with Charles. “Don’t you dare say anything smart about how you’re in my head so of course I feel closer to you.”
Charles laughed as he smiled.
“Kiss me then.” He challenged, so, Erik, ever ready for a challenge, did.
Erik could feel Charles in his head, affection and love rolling off him even within his head. An unwavering love no matter the horrors, promised in the very way Charles was holding him. For once in his life Erik didn’t hate being seen. He let Charles know that, let him know his love would be unwavering too by deepening the kiss.