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“I’m sorry.” She mumbled, and it hurt.
Her tepid words had shattered the thick silence that weighed heavily upon the two figures sitting across from each other, one that felt increasingly difficult to breath in with each passing second they refused to look at one another. The sunlight filtering in through the half-closed blinds of the living room window sparked a blurry film of yellowish highlight on the carpeted floor and wooden coffee table, irradiating each surface in its a pale, warm glow. The figures who rested morosely in its golden haze bore the same signs of illumination, one whose cobalt hair burst into a radiance of azure and sky blue locks, and the other whose sharp strands collapsed into a messy cocktail of dirty flaxen and platinum blonde. The individual who possessed such messy tresses of light hair dragged a hand up and towards her narrow face, using a detached cylindrical digit to push back the reflective spectacles that had slid down the bridge of her nose. Her piercing lime green eyes smoldered behind the glass as she fixed the gem across from her a glowering look.
“For what? I think you’ve already made your point clear.” There were the beginnings of a snarl blooming across the technician’s thin lips with a bared pair of fangs glinting in the vibrant sunlight, but even if she couldn’t help the expression from pushing past her mask of indifference, it was the only thing keeping her temper in check. The sharp words ushered in a stiffness to Lapis’ thin frame, and Peridot could see it in the way her hands grabbed at the soft fabric of her dark blue skirt and crumpled it into balls between her fingers, running the material through her palms like it would calm whatever emotion was welling up in her chest. The cerulean eyed gem, however, refused to answer, and in exasperation the technician tried a gentler tone. “Lapis, if you think it was your fault, you’re wro-“
“It’s not about that!” Her tone, wavering yet abrupt, was a warning, held in a manner of authority Peridot did not even know she possessed. “I just… I just need some time away, please; I can’t keep doing this anymore, Peridot.” Lapis’ cerulean eyes were held wide and stagnant against the green skinned gem’s own, and from the murky depths, sorrow and exhaustion swirled beneath the dulled color that once held so much life. A pang of agony struck her phantasmal heart at the sight of the water gem’s sullen appearance, at the implications she discharged in her hurtful statement, and she hated how she was constantly reminded of what depressed Lapis.
The miscarriage, one of the greater factors in their deteriorating relationship, was something that deeply pained the both of them, and was still horrifically recent in their distraught minds.
Despite the warm temperature of the bedroom, a familiar blue skinned figure lay curled among the white linen sheets, her cobalt hair splayed out around the crown of her head like a lopsided halo, and the snowy hue of her summer dress flowing in a wave of colorless fabric. A gentle breeze slipped in through the partially opened balcony door, one that played with the strands of cobalt and caressed the side of her round face held expressionless in sleep. To any eye, one would find her appearance akin to that of a holy figure nestled in untainted fabrics, but to the individual who leaned against the doorway in a stoic silence, she truly might have as well been a goddess herself.
The technician’s arms were crossed over her chest, buried in the blackness of her button up work shirt as she gazed in a passive manner; perfectly content with studying the ocean gem from her position against the door frame. Her lime green eyes roamed chastely over her once lanky form, narrowed orbs framed behind black spectacles held in observation when she stopped at the sight of her stomach, swollen to accommodate the growing life from within. Slowly, an almost nonexistent smile curled her narrow lips upwards, but she quickly shattered the expression and instead replaced it with the same look of monolithic indifference Peridot wore so well. Her movements were deliberate as she pushed herself off of the frame and carefully approached the sleeping gem, a form of pride and concern welling up into her phantasmal heart as she closed the wide distant between them.
The abrupt news that Lapis had been pregnant had surprised her to no end, and despite having been doubtful when the water gem had nervously informed her one night after a hideous, rampant mood swing that left the bathroom mirror shattered in pieces, all she felt now was elation. Unexplainable joy in knowing she had created something so rare with her partner. At the thought, Peridot paused in contemplation and brought back her piercing focus onto the figure still lying motionless on the bed.
The flaxen haired gem brought a hand up, splaying her cylindrical digits outwards to comb through her messy strands, the other appendage left motionless at her side. A few moments passed of hesitation, however, until she willed her unoccupied hand towards the water gem. Before any of her unbending fingers could brush a snarl of cobalt hair out of her face, she stirred, and the technician was forced to pull back in an attempt to hide her the action she had almost committed.
Swiveling her gaze towards the blue skinned gem, an unnecessary breath hitched in her throat and she froze. Staring at her in a sleepy haze were two pools of tired, shimmering cerulean – stagnant against the lime green eyes that held the green skinned gem in place. It shocked her to find her immediately conscious, but Peridot was quick to conceal her surprise behind a splintered face of apathy as she turned to face her with full attention. A faint smile lifted the corners of her black painted lips upwards, and when Lapis spoke, her voice was quiet yet beautiful against the background music of city life below.
“What are you standing there for?” The ocean gem’s words elicited an embarrassed cough from Peridot, one that itched in the back of her throat.
“Observation,” she drew a hand up to rub nervously at the back of her neck.
“’Observation’?” Lapis chuckled, a dainty sound that sounded just as tired as amused. “Oh, Peridot. I wouldn’t call it merely observation as it seemed that you were looking more out of pride and concern.” Her narrow face grew increasingly dark in mortification, enough to make her avert her gaze and shuffle her feet nervously against the floor, cylindrical digits twitching at her sides out of anxiety. She tried to brush her off with a light scoff.
“S-So what if I was merely checking up on you. Your wellbeing, especially in this fragile state of yours, is constantly worrisome to me.” Lapis smirked at the expression she was pulling, and with a great struggle to push herself upright, she finally managed to curl her legs up underneath her and straighten out her posture. Pushing her arms outwards, the ocean gem slipped them over Peridot’s narrow shoulders with a sly smirk. Despite having only rested for a couple of hours, she still felt a small wave of playfulness even with the strain on her physical form and the insomnia pulling at the back of her mind. The technician’s hooded gaze flickered over to meet Lapis’ gentle one, lime green mixing with murky blue as she forced herself to accept her humiliation and instead wrap the water gem into a gentle embrace. Her head on her chest, the ocean gem permitted a quiet laugh to escape her lips.
“Peridot, what’s gotten in to you? You don’t normally act this affectionate or even respond to my advances this quickly.” She announced, slipping a hand up into the flaxen haired gem’s pointed locks to mess around with the unkempt strands. Peridot refused to say anything, but instead planted her chin onto the crown of her head and stood there in silence. Seconds passed in this position until she finally garnered the courage and spoke up, her words muffled as she pressed her nose into her cobalt hair.
“I… don’t really know, Lapis. Maybe my programming’s off, but I can’t explain what I’m feeling, so just,” she pulled away and dropped her gaze to stare directly into Lapis’ orbs of tired cerulean, “allow me this selfish moment without questioning my actions.” The flaxen haired technician closed the distance, and captured her black lips in a surprise kiss, one that garnered a gasp from the ocean gem out of the abruptness of the gesture. Peridot’s cylindrical digits dug into Lapis’ bony shoulders, keeping her from swaying out of her grasp as the kiss deepened into something rough yet intimate, and she could feel the way her hands tangled into her flaxen hair. Trapped in the moment, Peridot didn’t realize how much of a fool she was to not realize that everything would come crashing down in the bitter and near future.
She had been too late.
Peridot, in her panicked daze at the sound of the piercing scream, nearly broke the bedroom door down in an attempt to slam it open; and what she saw shattered every false sense of happiness she once had.
Neon blue blood stained the linen sheets and the bottom of a beautiful snowy white dress, and from her lingering position in the doorway, her lime green eyes could easily make out the gory mess that had only recently been the pride and joy of their thoughts. It made her sick, and she closed her narrowed orbs against the pain that gripped her chest, and of the agonized sob that she knew could only have come from Lapis. In the dim moonlight filtering in through the dark room, she barely could make out the water gem, but she didn’t need to fully see her to know that she was curled around the gruesome jumble of lost dreams sobbing to the very goddess herself.
The flaxen haired gem’s knees buckled underneath her, and she collapsed to the carpeted floor. It was only then, she realized, that the strangled sobs were not just coming from Lapis, but out of her own throat as well, and she clenched her jaw in a desperate attempt to keep the tears from falling.
It was the second time she had cried in her entire life.
It was the sudden movement that jolted her back to reality, the brief flicker in the corner of her eye that forced her to divert her attention away from the illuminated wooden table and towards the quiet gem across from her. Peridot had forgotten she had still been sitting there for a moment, lost in the turmoil of her thoughts, until she caught what she was doing; her orbs of piercing green immediately fixed on her hand. There, Lapis fiddled with the ornate band of handcrafted silver on her ring finger before she deliberately slipped it off. The water gem turned the band over in her soft palm, whatever remaining light streaming from the window flickering off its polished surface, before she finally set it down onto the table with a quiet click of metal against wood.
Despite the simplicity of the gesture, the flaxen haired technician could only stare in resentment, languidly wondering in desperation if it was her fault that all what they had built together over the years was collapsing because of her. She gritted her teeth at the pain that welled up in her heart, at the sight of the one figure she had loved brokenly throwing away the last physical representation of her commitment, but she refused to allow the hurt expression to cross her narrow face; instead, she busied herself with pushing her spectacles further up the bridge of her nose and hardening whatever nerves she had left. The stiff emotion flickered in her lime green orbs.
“Peridot… I want you to know that none of this deals with you. This is my own decision to make, so please, stop looking at me with such malice.” Her voice broke, her translucent cerulean eyes never appearing gloomier than before with the dark swatches of depression lining the rims in sick patches of shadow. The technician knew she should have been disheartened about the fact that she was so adamant about leaving, but all she could feel was a boiling anger rising in her blood. Peridot’s detached cylindrical digits formed into fists as she fixed her a hard stare and gritted out the words she never thought she’d say to the gem in front of her.
“Then just leave.” The green skinned technician muttered out halfheartedly, clenching her jaw to try and display an expression of anger that would mask the agonizing pain deep within her nonexistent heart. Averting her gaze from the sudden emotion of shock that bloomed across Lapis’ round face, she painfully continued past the guilt that threatened to choke her all together. “If you’re done with me, done with handling everything I’ve done for you, then you can just go.” She repeated, and it took every ounce of her will not to break down on the spot; practically kicking her partner out was one thing, but when she was willing to leave on her own conscious decision, that was what pained her the most. Peridot didn’t look up when Lapis rose from her position on the couch and stood to her full height and instead trained her attention onto the forgotten ring on the table.
“I’ll come back one day… I promise.” The technician flinched away from her outstretched hand, refusing to accept it in one last gesture of farewell. Her mind had wandered elsewhere, and it was only until the sound of the front door opening and closing shut did she finally relax her motionless posture.
Lapis had lied, that much she understood immediately, and her words had left the bitterest of tastes in the back of her mouth. Those seven words never stayed true.
Lapis Lazuli never returned.