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She knew she was in trouble the first time she laid her eyes on the warlord of Coney Island. That day under the boardwalk, Swan was sure an actual goddess had come to save her. Only after that goddess had brought her home had Swan realised she was even more than that. She was the sun warming her people on the coldest day, the moon illuminating the path in the middle of the night, the voice of reason and the spark of rebellion. Cleon was all that and more.
Swan was just Swan. The kid under the boardwalk, the stray that slept on their couch. At least that’s how the others looked at her. Cleon looked at her like she was someone important, someone that deserved to be taken care of, deserved to be loved. Swan couldn’t stop herself from wishing Cleon would look at her forever, that Her light would always brighten her days.
Years went by and her attachment to the leader only grew. Anything could be used as an excuse to make Her want to keep Swan close. Somehow she had become Her second in command. Cleon trusted her, confided in her. Everything she did was with a single purpose, making Cleon see her, look at her with the same love she did back then.
A moonless night, a gunshot and the need to run. Cleon was gone, taking with Her Swan’s heart and hope. Swan had to step up, to fight, against the world trying to get them, against this feeling of emptiness trying to claw its way under her skin. That’s what Cleon would have wanted, for Swan to fight until her people were safe. The last thing left to do was to make Her proud, wherever She was.
She kept failing Her. She didn’t deserve the trust, nor the title she was given. She had already lost too much. She had to get the rest of her crew home, but what then? There was no starting over. There was no going back. But the darkness of the night, like a blindfold, stopped her from seeing the path forward. A hand on her arm, the sound of trains passing by, the new girl's eyes looking into hers. Mercy looked at her like she was someone important, someone that deserved to be loved and for an instant, Mercy’s light was almost blinding.
The night kept getting worse. As the train took them back home, Swan saw the glow at her side dim, losing the battle against the light of day. Tired of losing, tired of being in the dark, Swan leaned over Mercy, pulling her deep into a kiss. Everyone watched as the night disappeared behind the couple's brightness. They would find a way forward, together.
She had nothing more to lose, no more shits to give. That boy had taken her light, she would put his out. Nothing existed other than the pain and the rage pulsing through her veins. Until Her voice was heard.
Looking up, Swan watched as the morning light shone on Cleon. The sun was back.