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How (Not) To Get Away With Murder: Pretty 5 Edition

Summary:

Tori accidentally kills Mao Isara and calls the pretty 5 for help.

Notes:

some charachters might be ooc but for the sake of the fic I'm not gonna think about it

Work Text:

On the joyous night of new years eve when everyone is ending their day eagerly waiting for the new year as they celebrate with family and friends enjoying the night away, Tori on the other hand is currently freaking out.

 

He stress walks back and forward in his own room as he texts the only group chat he could trust with his current predicament.

 

— — — — — — — —

 

 Pretty Qweens

 

Tori: Guys Idk what to do

Tori: help

Tori: I’m panicking like crazy

Tori: I need you guys to respond rn

 

Arashi: what happened?

Arashi: are you ok?

 

Hiyori: is everything ok?

 

Tori: no  

Tori: It's not ok

Tori:  idk what to do

 

Aira: what happened exactly ?

 

Mika: Tori-kun calm down, tell us what happened

 

Tori: I can't, I need you guys at my room asap I think I committed a crime

 

Mika: wym you think?

 

Arashi: ???  

 

Aira: what…

 

Hiyori: How bad of a crime is it???

 

Mika: you didn't kill anyone did you lol?

 

Tori:

 

Arashi: momo-chan please tell me you didn't actually…

 

Aira: himemiya-senpai are you being serious?

 

Mika: Wait, I was kidding why is your reply like that…

 

Tori: guys just please come over rn it's an emergency!!

 

Hiyori: ok be there in a sec

 

_Hiyori is offline_

 

Arashi: Mika and I are otw now

 

_Arashi is offline_

 

Aira: wait I cant just leave right now its almost 12am and I'm supposed to do the new years countdown with the rest of my unit!

 

Mika: Shiratori-kun, Tori-kun having an emergency you can't NOT go

 

Aira: I dont have a ride and its late, Himemiya-senpai are you sure youre not joking

 

Tori: WHY WOULD I BE JOKING?

 

Aira: IDK BC IT SOUNDS OUTRAGEOUS???

 

Tori: IM AT MY DORM ROOM NOT MY HOME JUST COME OVER!!!

 

_Hiyori is online_

 

Hiyori: Aira come out i’m outside your room

 

Aira: HUH?

 

_Aira is offline_

_Hiyori is offline_

_Mika is offline_

_Tori is offline_



After getting off his phone all Tori could do was sit on his bed and wait anxiously for his friends to arrive.

 

In front of him was the very view that started his stress… the seemingly limp body of a stranger in his room dressed in some weird big hairy, not to mention dirty, costume.

 

“I genuinely can't believe this is happening to me of all people” Tori thought while in his state of stress as he stared at the body that is slightly bleeding out.

 

As minutes felt like hours, Tori finally heard a knock at his door and almost sprinted from his bed to his door.

 

“Tori-kun we’re here” he hears Arashis voice from behind the door mixed with a couple of others.

 

Tori opens the door slowly peeking through looking at all the familiar faces behind the door.

 

“Come in quickly,” Tori says, opening the door not too wide to avoid any passersby from seeing inside which caused each member of the pretty 5 to enter individually.

 

“Ok so what happ– OH MY GOSH!” 

 

“SHHH” Tori Hushes Arashi as quickly as she is to yelp. 

 

“OH MY GO– HIMEMIYA-SENPAI WHAT DID YOU DO” Aira Screeches at the sight almost looking sickly.

 

“BE QUIET SHIRATORI” Tori repeats not any louder than Aira.

 

“Gosh Tori-kun why couldn't you have just opened the door all the way, and by the gods what is that smel– HYAAAHH!!” Hiyori yelps out at the same sight as he steps back in shock and horror.

 

“DO ANY OF YOU GUYS NOT KNOW WHAT BE QUIET MEANS!?” Tori yells out again unaware of the volume of his voice.

 

“Tori-kun calm down yer the loudest out'tall of us right now” Mika says attempting to calm Tori.

 

Tori breaths in and out slightly calming down. 

 

“Ok, ok I'm calm, I'm calm” he repeats to himself as he calms himself down.

 

“Ok can someone close the door please before anyone else in this dorm hears us yelling” he asks in the sligt midst of his stress.

 

“I got it” Mika replied running to the door.

 

As they all turn around following Mika’s movement with their eyes they all freeze at the sight of a slightly traumatized looking Tsukasa standing by the door.

 

Tori's heart drops at the sight of Tsukasa at the door unsure what to do.

 

The silence in the room was deafening and the tensions were high as all 5 stared at Tsukasa.

 

“What. The… Fu–”

 

Before tsukasa could finish his sentence the sound of the door slamming shut startles everyone in the room. All eyes dart to the source of the sound revealing Arashi next to the shut door.

 

“Kasa-chan calm down” she started making Tsukasa look at her in a slight panic. tsukasa turns around to realize hes surrounded by the 5 with tori in front of him.

 

“Oh my God am I about to get murdered by my own friends, and even worse one is my unit mate and the other my boyfriend!?” He started standing still.

 

“What?” Arashi blurts confused.

 

“No, wait this is a misunderstanding” Tori frantically starts .

 

“Tori, I love you but why is there a seemingly dead body In your room!?” Tsukasa exclaims raising his voice.

 

“Shhhh!!! Let me explain please calm down” Tori replied, struggling to stay calm himself and his breathing gets faster.

 

As the tension in the room rises, Tori breathes “I don't know,w but while I was getting ready for bed and wait for yuzuru to come back some guy snuck into my dorm room holding a bag of grapes. I got scared chucked the nearest thing to me at him and now hes like this” 

 

“Tori what did you throw at him that he's bleeding this much?” Tsukasa asked

 

“Better question what is he wearing? He looks like a… hobo in a Santa suit” Hiyori suddenly interrupted.

 

“Why does their outfit even matter!? and I threw something and now there's a dead person in my dorm room” He replied panicked.

 

“Hey im just asking, id never be caught dead wearing an outfit like that” Hiyori replied, to which he got deadpanned looks from almost everyone, clearly not the right time to say something like that during a situation such as Tori’s.

 

“Actually other than the outfits I just realized there are grapes scattered around the floor. Why is that?” Aira spoke out of the blue.

 

“I’m not sure actually I saw them holding it before all this happened” Tori replied equally confused.

 

“Wait! It's New Year's Eve right? I’ve heard of this before!” Mika exclaimed Look back at them. “There's a tradition I’ve heard of where if you eat 12 grapes under a table in under in under the first minute of the new year you'll have good luck for the rest of the year, what if that's the reason for the grapes?” He finished leaving them thinking.

 

“But what would this person be taking grapes from Himemiya-Senpais fridge?” Aira asked.

 

“Maybe they’re poor?” Hiyori answered getting another round of stares and a pause of silence.

 

“What? Poor people do the craziest things, you can never underestimate them” he followed suit from his last statement.

 

“Wait where’s Fushimi? What if he returns and sees this?” Tsukasa asked again taking the attention away from Hiyori.

 

 “Stop bombarding me with questions! Yuzuru isn't here right now, he's out late helping Eichi-sama at the Star Pro office. Anyway, can we please focus? What do I do, guys?” he asks, raising his voice again in stress.



“Okay, calm down, Momo-chan. We’ll figure something out,” Arashi said, patting Tori’s shoulder like they weren’t all teetering on the edge of a crime drama.  

 

“So... what are we doing with the body?” Hiyori asked, as if he were deciding on dinner plans.  

 

“Oh! I’ve got it! Let’s bury it!” Mika piped up, grinning way too enthusiastically for someone suggesting potential felony charges.  

 

“WHAT?! Why are we even talking about hiding a body?!” Aira shrieked, waving his arms frantically. “I didn’t sign up to be an accomplice to murder!”  

 

“Aira-chan,” Arashi said with a sigh, giving him a disapproving look. “We have to back up Momo-chan here. What kind of friends would we be if we left him in his time of need? This is Pretty 5 business.”  

 

“WHY ARE WE SO CASUAL ABOUT THIS?!” Aira yelled, eyes darting between the group like he was the only sane person in the room. “Do you even hear yourselves? What if we get caught?!”  

 

“Arashi-chan is right though,” Hiyori chimed in, stroking his chin as if they were plotting a simple school festival. “Tori-kun needs us now more than ever.”  

 

“Mika-chan, You’ve buried a body before, right?”  Arashi asked so casually.

 

“HE WHAT!?” Aira bursted out darting his head at Mika.

 

“Who said that?!” Mika gasped, looking around wildly. 

 

“Weren’t you the one that suggested to bury the body??” Tsukasa spoke confused at Mikas shock to the question. After a long pause, he muttered, “...fine lets say I did– what of it?.” 

 

“SO ITS TRUE!?” Aria shouted once more almost to the brink of insanity at what he just heard.

 

“Shiratori-kun literally please stop yelling you’re stressing me out more!” Tori yells

 

“Both of you stop yelling” Arashi intervenes as she gives the two a very threateningly stare to calm down or they'll face her wrath.

 

“er, well not really—ya see I almost buried a body an’ well that person wasn't actually dead an’ it was actually just Ritsu-kun who had fallen asleep” Mika replied in a sheepish smile.

 

“Wait wait everyone stop. Did any of you even bother to check who the person is and if they were actually dead or not??” Tsukasa intervened in absolute shock of the conversation he was hearing.

 

Everyone stood silent at the question, leaving Tsukasa even more appalled “you guys are telling me you’ve been arguing and plotting to hide a body that you havent checked the identity of, nor if the person is actually dead or not!?” he yelled out, letting out the stress and confusion.

 

“Well what were we supposed to do kasa-kun walk up to the bleeding body and get blood all over us!?” Arashi defended

 

“LITERALLY YES, WHAT IF THIS PERSON IS ALIVE”

 

“Nghaa Tsukasa-kun, if the person is alive, it's much worse. he could get Tori arrested for assault” Mika spoke up.

 

“Oh my god, I should just say goodbye to my idol career now and kiss freedom goodbye” Tori speaks out suddenly dropping to his knees dramatically to which tsukasa sighs in absolute tiredness of the situation.

 

“So who's gonna go near the body? it will definitely not be me,” Hiyori Spoke.

 

“Not it, gosh, could you believe what I’d do if the blood got onto me?” Arashi spoke, following behind Hiyori.

 

“Not me either, looking at the blood is already making me queasy” Aira spoke up, looking away.

 

Tori, who was already in a state of dread, was definitely not going to be doing it and Tsukasa was too busy comforting him to do it himself as well.

 

“I could do it, I don't mind” Mika spoke up nonchalantly with a calm expression on his face.

 

“Are you sure mika-chan?” Arashi asked, to which he nodded, stepping forward, walking closer to the dead body.

 

“I salute you Mika-kun” Hiyori said with a salute mimicking Ibara and definitely not trying to intervene at Mika’s “Bravery” or as Hiyori called it.

 

As Mika walked closer to the supposed dead figure everyones focus was now glued to him even Tori whose attention was solely on him now.

 

As Mika got in front of the body, avoiding the slight pool of blood near the person's head, he used his foot to push the body upward since it was lying on its stomach.

 

As Mika successfully pushed the body up right a round of loud gasps could be heard around the room.

 

“That can't be..” both Hiyori and tsukasa spoke at the same time.

 

“Oh my god…” was all that could come out of Arashi’s lips

 

“Is that… Isara-buchou” Aira revealed in horror.

 

Mika was left speechless unsure what to say. He turns his head to look at Tori who—if was not in severe dread earlier—is now definitely making a face of pure horror.

 

“I think I need someone to end me right now before HE finds out what I’ve done…” Tori finally spoke clearly hinting at the person everyones thinking of right now.

 

“No Tori-kun, you'll be fine, Ritsu-kun won't care too much… I hope, Mika reassured as he glanced at Arashi who was making, what can only be described as horror present in her face; Arashi definitely knows that what Mika had just said was a lie.

 

“Ritsu-chan may kill someone if he learns of this…” she revealed in a nervous voice as she looks at Tori.

 

“What!” Devastated with the news, filled Tori with more dread, his soul almost visibly flying out his body.

 

“Narukami-senpai don't scare Tori by saying that!” Tsukasa spoke up “Kasa-chan, I can't lie about Ritsu-chan's reaction. You know as well as I do what Mao-chan means to Ritsu-chan,” she replied.

 

“Naru-chan is right, Tsukasa-kun” Mika agrees with Arashi, giving Tori a sorry look before he revealed the truth, “Ritsu-kun is my roommate n’he speaks a lot bout Mao-kun.” 

 

Left speechless at the searing truth in Arashi's statement and Mikas agreement, Tsukasa stays silent “Wait. check for a pulse! Yeah, that's it maybe he could still be alive!” Hiyori points out.

 

“Good idea!” Arashi jumped in hope as she signals Mika with a nod. Mika bends closer, feeling Maos' neck, wrist, even leg for a pulse, but to their dismay he shakes his head.

 

“Mmm I can't feel anything the fabric in his weird Santa costume is too thick an’ makes it hard ta’find sources” he says.

 

Finally at his limit Tori puts his hand to cover his face in horror “I’m dead not only will I be murdered by Ritsu-senpai but I also killed our council president” the devastation clear in his voice.

 

“Oh my god, what will happen to me if the rest of Trickstar finds out?” Tori whispered in horror just loud enough for everyone to hear.

 

“Lets just hide the body yes? like Mika suggested earlier” Hiyori suggested

 

“But what if Ritsu-senpai finds out?” Tsukasa asked “which is exactly why we make sure he wont” Arashi intervenes.

 

“Are we seriously about to hide a dead body” Aira speaks up still in shock.

 

“Yes Aira-chan and wether you like it or not we are all witnesses to this crime scene which means we're all now acomplices so if we dont do anything we're all going to prison” Arashi spoke in a stern voice.

 

“And I CANNOT go to prison, they have no skin care products there. Imagine what prison would do to my skin!” she continued louder only imagining the horrors of what would happen to her skin in prison.

 

“Youre right that sounds absolutely horrible” Hiyori agreed making the same horrifc face Arashi is making.

 

“Now everyone grab a leg and and an arm its time to move him” Arashi demanded to which everyone reluctantly agreed.

 

Mika grabs his right leg, Aira on the left, Tsukasa on the right arm and Tori on the left.

 

They all nod in agreement, some more than others, lift the body and begin to move toward the door.

 

“Nghaa I didn't know Mao-kun was so heavy” Mika spoke, trying to keep a tight grip “You said that right,” Tori agreed, as he struggled to hold him.

 

Arashi and Hiyori both peek through the door, making sure no one was in the hall,s before giving a signal that it was good to go.

 

As they all moved, struggling to carry Mao, they heard a thud as they exited the door.

 

“Hey be careful you guys just hit Maos head on the door!” Arashi whispered loudly.

 

“You try carrying him, Narukami-senpai he's not as light as he looks” Tori shot back.

 

“Well, this wouldn't be happening if you hadn't killed Mao-kun here, hmm Momo-chan?” making a quicker remark, silencing Tori immediately.

 

As they all move through the building, keep caution on every corner and corridor they pass, making sure there is no one in the halls.

 

They did this till they reached the back exit of the ES dorms, feeling the cold air on their skin.

 

They all sped up trying to find an area to bury poor Mao’s body, but with the lack of lights and access to dirt, it was hard to find a good area for a burial.

 

“There!” Hiyori pointed at a patch of grass behind bushes perfect for their endeavors.

 

“Yes! Ok everyone le-–” as Arashi spoke the sound of walking was heard from ahead.

 

To their unfortunate luck, their face all dropped as they saw none other than the one person they would rather not see right now, which was Ritsu, who was not too far ahead, walking around the corner from them. Tori’s head snaps back to Arashi with eyes of fear and worry.

 

Before anyone could react, Hiyori—without hesitation—shoved Mao’s limp body straight into the nearest bush.

 

The body flopped in like a poorly thrown sack of potatoes, legs still awkwardly sticking out.

 

“Oh my GOD, Hiyor-sama!” Tori whisper-yelled, clutching his pearls—or, well, his designer pajama collar.

 

“What?!” Hiyori shrugged. “If I didn’t do it, we’d be dead ! Or worse—we’d have to do those fake apologies on a livestream that no one ever believes!”

 

Prison , Tomoe-senpai!” Aira screeched. “I’m worried about going to prison!



“SHHHHHH!” The entire group shushed him in unison.

 

Meanwhile, Ritsu, who was now dangerously close, squinted at them through the dim light. His usual half-lidded vampire eyes glowed faintly with suspicion.

 

“Nacchan?” He spoke, his eyes locked onto her, then moving to Hiyori, “Hiyohiyo?” he called.

 

Looking at their awkward demeanor, Ritsu is immediately weirded out by their awkward display.

 

“Ritsu-chan, hey, haha, what brings you here at this time?” Arashi spoke, trying to avoid eye contact.

 

“…What are you guys doing?” His voice was as lazy as ever, but something about it sent chills down Tori’s spine.

 

“We’re…uh…” Tsukasa panicked, looking to the others for help.

 

“We’re…stargazing!” Arashi blurted out, flashing her most dazzling smile.

 

“Yeah! Nothing like bonding under the starry, freezing sky at…what time is it again?” Mika added, poorly faking enthusiasm while subtly using his foot to shove Mao’s leg further into the bush.

 

Ritsu arched a brow, clearly not buying it. “Stargazing? At the dorm’s back entrance? In the dead of winter?”

 

“…It’s romantic?” Arashi tried, fluttering her lashes.

 

“Romantic my—what was that noise?” Ritsu’s gaze snapped to the suspiciously rustling bush.

 

Everyone froze.

 

Mao’s arm flopped back out.

 

“Oh no,” Tori whispered, mentally planning his funeral.

 

Without missing a beat, Aira lunged forward. “HAHA, LOOK AT THAT, A STRAY CAT! MEOW-MEOW!” He started making obnoxious cat noises while aggressively petting the bush.

 

Ritsu blinked slowly. “Did you hit your head?”

 

“No, no! This is my emotional support bush cat,” Aira said, now practically wrestling Mao’s limp arm back into the shrub. “We call her…uh…Bush-chan.”

 

“…Bush-chan.” Ritsu repeated, unimpressed.

 

“Yes. Bush-chan,” Arashi nodded seriously, backing him up. “A local legend. Very soft. So cute.”

 

“I’m going to call security,” Ritsu deadpanned, pulling out his phone.

“WAIT!” Tori shouted, causing everyone—including the bush—to jolt. “No need to call anyone! We’re just…uh…trying to help a friend who—uh—got a little too tipsy! Haha, you know how New Year’s Eve is, right? Right?”

 

Ritsu narrowed his eyes, stepping closer to the bush. “Tipsy, huh?”

 

Tori’s heart pounded as Ritsu reached toward the bush. This was it. The moment his short but glamorous life flashed before his eyes.

 

Just as Ritsu was about to pull the leaves aside, Mao’s hand twitched.

 

“…Wait.” Ritsu froze.

 

The hand twitched again. And then—with a dramatic gasp, Mao SAT UP.

 

“WHOA—” Mika yelped, nearly dropping to the ground in shock.

 

“HUH?!” Aira shrieked, stumbling back like he just saw a zombie.

 

Mao, still wearing his ridiculous dirty Santa costume, looked very confused and very angry. “WHY am I in a BUSH?!”

 

Tori shrieked like a banshee. “YOU’RE ALIVE?!”

 

“Of course I’m alive!” Mao grumbled, shaking twigs out of his hair. “What the hell happened? And why does my head hurt? And WHY are you guys acting so weird?!”

 

“You broke into my dorm room dressed like that—what was I supposed to do?!” Tori shouted back.

 

“I WAS DELIVERING NEW YEAR GIFTS!” Mao snapped. “Ritsu told me you’d like a personal touch so I wore this Santa costume and before anyone asks yes I know it's not Christmas anymore!”

 

Ritsu blinked innocently. “I thought it’d be funny.”

 

“YOU’RE NOT FUNNY, RITSU-SENPAI!” Tori wailed, collapsing dramatically onto the grass.

 

“…So, let me get this straight,” Mao rubbed his temples. “I dressed up like Santa, went to deliver a gift to Tori, and in return, I got BLUDGEONED and shoved in a bush?”

 

“…Yes,” Hiyori confirmed cheerfully.

 

“…I’m going home,” Mao declared, standing up shakily. “And none of you—especially you, Ritsu—better speak to me until next year!”

 

Wait!! You were stealing grapes from my fridge— explain yourself! ” Tori blurted out, still sprawled on the ground.

 

Caught red-handed, Mao blushed in embarrassment. “Uh… I was trying to do that 12-grape tradition Hokuto and Subaru suggested, but every store was out of grapes. So, while dropping off your present, I thought… maybe you wouldn’t notice if I borrowed a bag?” He scratched his face awkwardly.

 

There was a long pause as Tori tried to process the sheer absurdity of the situation.

 

That still doesn’t give you the right to give me blunt force trauma to my head!

 

“It literally does—I thought you were breaking into my dorm!” Tori snapped back leaving Mao speechless.

 

As Mao turned ready to leave, he spun around dramatically. "For the record, I am the victim here. I came to spread holiday cheer and instead got an unscheduled concussion!"

 

Hiyori clapped his hands together. "Well, in fairness, you also committed a fruit heist. Balance is important~."

 

"I WAS DESPERATE!" Mao yelled, throwing his hands in the air. "Besides, who even keeps three bags of grapes in their fridge? What are you, a fruit hoarder?!"

 

Tori huffed, still cradling his head. "They’re imported, obviously! Some of us have taste , Santa Fraud!"

 

Ritsu snickered. "I dunno, Tori—sounds like karma for attacking a defenseless Santa to me. Maybe you should work on your holiday spirit."

 

"My holiday spirit is fine!" Tori snapped. "But next year, I’m installing security cameras!"

 

Mao waved over his shoulder as he turned around walking away. "Yeah, good luck explaining ‘I assaulted Santa over stolen grapes’ to the police."

 

“Well Santa isnt poor and robbing people of their grapes!” Tori snapped back but no reply from Mao.

 

"And where do you think you’re going?!" Tori demanded.

 

"Home," Mao declared. "Where it’s grape-free and people don’t try to assassinate me for spreading joy." 

 

As Mao stomped off, Ritsu sighed dreamily. “Ah, he’s so cute when he’s mad.”

 

“I ALMOST DIED FROM STRESS,” Tori whimpered into his hands.

 

Ritsu sighed contentedly. "Mmm… I can’t wait for next year."

 

“At least you didn’t actually kill anyone,” Arashi reassured him.

 

“…Yet,” Mika added under his breath.

 

“…I hate all of you,” Tori muttered.