Work Text:
It isn't a storm, but only the thunder like a yell is very loud. It's a weird weather. It's pitch black outside the window, with no covering, so it can be night or different. The sky in the devil world is always dark, so it's difficult to keep track of time by color alone.
In that situation, I'm straddling a man and strangling him.This guy doesn't speak and moan, but just breathes roughly as he's being choked. His skin is cold and pulseless. What a creepy guy.
(He is like a corpse),I thought. There is no light in the room and I can hardly see anything. Outside, lightning flashes from time to time, but it never reaches us.
I can tell that he is a man because his neck is very well developed. The body under me is also hard and thick.
Who is this guy? Why am I doing this in the first place? Maybe he did something terrible to me. Maybe I was hurt or defamed. Or maybe someone in my family or someone I know was harmed. …Though I can't recall anything.
Whatever the case may be, I have no feelings of hatred or anger toward him at the moment. Then why? Why am I, a justice chojin, laying hands on a guy who may have no reason to do so? I really don't know. But I have no intention of relenting. I have a strong feeling that I have to kill this guy anyway, but I can't think of any reason to do so.
As expected, my hands were getting numb, so I replaced them with two other hands, keeping in mind that my current hands should not leave his neck. The guy is laying still, showing no sign of dying or fainting.
"...."
I stared at him, hoping to see something. I wondered if I could at least see his outline in the pitch-darkness. As a justice chojin, it's unwilling for me to hurt others for no reason. But it'll be understandable if he was an evil chojin who slaughtered innocent people and chojins.
"Hah... hahaha."
He started to laugh, of all things. His voice sounded young. Perhaps he is still a child.
"What's so funny? "
As I asked, I strengthened my hand. I was asking a question, but not letting him answer, which was a contradiction in terms.
"...Your strength is not strong enough. Harder, or you can't even kill an insect with this kind of power. You want to kill me, don't you? "
The guy laughed and laid his hand on one of my hands, which was resting on his neck. He ran his hand over the veins between the fingers and on the back of my hand, then took my pinky finger and squeezed it lightly.
I was terribly disturbed by this movement, which seemed to be a baby's reflex. I remembered that my son used to do the same thing. My son. Shiva. Where is he? Where is Yvonne? I want to get back to them. To do that, I have to kill this guy.
"It was also on a night like this."
He seems to have a lot of leeway even though his neck is being tightened. He spoke to me in a familiar tone.
"What are you talking about? "
Die quick! I was like a child too, but I couldn't stop my voice from sullening. I was beginning to get sick of everything.
"'What'...? I think you should know that very well."
It's a response, not an answer. I'm angry again at such a meaningless response.
"I don't know you, or anything."
I pushed my thumb into the hollow of his throat. The sensation was definitely there, but the guy seemed not to feel anything, and he returned the words.
"You so mean…. You did that to me and saying that? "
He is laughing in a deliberate and implied manner. He is an irritating person every time.
"What's the matter with you? What did I do to you on the thunderous night like tonight? "
"Your hands feel weak. Are you upset? "
The guy still didn't answer, but kept saying strange things.
"You're afraid of me, aren't you? I’m so fine when you choke me, and also because I keep saying things that you don't quite understand. So you're being so tough and pretending it's not working at all."
Another hand was addressed to my belly. Large and thick, it slowly crawled up to reach the center of my chest and tried to insert itself into the gap between my costume. I quickly grabbed his hand and wrestled him to the floor. It was not so much that I felt aversion to being touched, but because there was something that I absolutely did not want to be touched by anyone.
At the same time, I was also upset that he had told me what was on my mind. This guy was right, I was beginning to fear him. Why does he know so much about me although I know nothing about him?
"Is it the mark? "
The taunting voice was so jarring that I covered his mouth with my free hand.
"So what? It's none of your business what I think."
"It's our business...."
The guy whispered, almost only with his breath. I frowned, uncomfortable with the sensation of his hot breath slowly settling into the palm of my hand. I frowned and then I put my hand choking him.
"Hehe, poor you...."
The guy laughed in the same tone. I thought to myself, (You're the one who is poor). I have no intention of feeling sorry for him. It's because impossible for this guy who is being unilaterally killed right now to be not poorer than me, who is about to kill in an advantageous situation. But apparently he can’t understand such things.
"Yeah, yeah, you want to get this over with and get out of here. I understand. But where are you going?
He never lose his attitude that he is epistatic to me.
"You don't know anything about me. Shut up and don't talk like you know it all! "
"I know. I know your everything."
A cold things with the same texture touched both cheeks and neck. It took me a moment to realize it was a hand, because it was unbelievable.
Each of them touched me in four separate places. In addition to that, two hands have already touched mine. Six places in all.
He has six hands. He knows me well strangely. He is a somewhat childish man.
"You...."
One thought came to me. A hint of this guy's identity ── or rather, a name that would be the answer ── almost spilled out of my throat.
I hoped I was wrong. I knew that if I said it out loud, I couldn’t help convincing, so I held on. If I was right, I would have repeated the same sin that I have to atone for the rest of my life.
His body is right below me. But I couldn't see him at all, and it was as if I was grab with bottomless darkness. I felt as if his eyes, which I did not know exactly where they were, had been watching me all this time. And vice versa.
The guy said again.
"It was also on a night like this."
This time I had nothing to say back.
"It was also on a night like this that you killed me, wasn't it, Dad? "
A single loud roar of thunder lit up the room. The whitish lightning made the face of the prone guy stand out clearly in the darkness. At that moment, all strength left my hands.
There was a face I knew well and I could never forget. It was my son Shiva whom I had killed. He was bleeding from the head, blood splattered all over his body, and he was smiling a thin smile.
I had been right after all.
"...Yes, it was."
On the night of the same violent thunderstorm as tonight, I killed Shiva. In a more brutal way that made strangulation seem tepid. The expression on his face at the end was not a smile like now, but crying, distorted with fear. As a parent, I hadn't been allowed to let my child to do that look on his face.
I felt my head go cold all at once. I couldn't take it anymore and tried to remove my hand from Shiva’s neck, but he wouldn't let me.
"No, you must finish. Dad, this is your obligation."
He held my hands down and wrapped each finger tightly around his neck. His skin is cold and pulseless.
"You've already returned to the devil, right? "
I repeated the same sin.