Archive of Our Own

Osamu Miya had never been alone. 

It's hard to be when you have a twin. Osamu used to complain about his lack of privacy and lack of identity outside of his twin. They were practically glued at the hip since birth. Anything one did, the other followed. Whether it be to support, or sheer competitiveness to outdo the other, they were always there. 

Childhood had been the most frustrating, probably, Osamu can't really remember. Their mother wasn't around often, to no fault of her own. She was raising two outgoing, over-achieving twin boys by herself. Plus, she was a nurse, it couldn't have been easy. 

The twins never resented her, or felt they were less loved by their mother than others, Osamu actually felt more loved by his mother than some. The days she would come home exhausted and drained -- only to find one of her boys sulking on the couch because they got into a fight, and she would sit there while they talked it out. Or every year on their birthday, she always made sure to take time off and give them separate theme birthdays because they could never agree. 

Really, Osamu considered himself luckier than most. Was Atsumu the most infuriating, shit-talking, narcissistic man on the entire planet? Yes. But he never let Osamu feel lonely. Even on the days Osamu wanted nothing more than to be alone, to have space from his brother. Osamu knew though, that Atsumu handled loneliness worse than him, so he clung to Osamu. 

Now, as the world falls apart around him, Osamu wishes nothing more than to be in his brother's company. To be by his side.

It had been a month since the incident. Four months since the virus took over Japan. 

Osamu was twenty, meeting with his brother in Tokyo when the news started of people becoming infected with some sort of disease. Neither twin thought much of it, just another epidemic that would go away without affecting them. 

It was that very ignorance that led them to the populated streets of Tokyo when the virus broke all at once that fateful day in June. Atsumu was on off-season and they had agreed to see each other in Tokyo, to meet with Kita and Aran who were in the city to look at apartments for Aran. 

Now, Osamu sits by himself in a worn down ramen shop in the outskirts of the city with a stale bag of wafers and some sort of meat stick as his dinner. Thankfully, a convenience store down the street had a few loose supplies hiding under shelves and such. 

It deafeningly quiet, except for the occasional groan of the undead outside the shop as he eats quietly, head rested back against the counter. If the world didn't go to shit, Osamu could imagine himself opening a place like this. 

That was the dream anyways. Except for menus with different ramen types, it would be onigiri. 

Doesn't matter though. Thinking about what could've been is useless. This was the world now. 

Decayed, surrounded by the undead. Eating fucking stale vanilla wafers. This was his reality. It wasn't like this at the beginning. When he was still with Atsumu. It had only been a month, and Osamu felt like he was going crazy. Little did he know that his younger-self was ignorant for thinking he would be okay alone, because this fucking sucked. 

A month ago, he was still in camp with Kita, Aran, his. -- they didn't label it -- Akaashi Keiji, and brother Atsumu. There were others, people Osamu didn't get close to, or feel the need to know, he had his close circle and was okay with that. It wasn't a camp as much as an empty, abandoned building they secured and called home after the outbreak. It seemed like an old daycare with different classrooms they turned into bedrooms. 

A month ago, Osamu wasn't alone. 

When he closes his eyes, he could replay the series of events perfectly. 

AUGUST 28, 2019. 

It was supposed to be a simple supply run. They've done it before. Just in and out, get the best medical supplied they could. Osamu and Atsumu usually volunteered with supply runs since they knew enough from their mother about what medicines to get and supplies they would need for manageable injuries. 

Really, it shouldn't have gone the way it did. 

But once again, that ignorance is what led them to being separated. Akaashi was standing behind Osamu as Atsumu stood in front, fingers clutching the metal baseball bat in his hand, his university volleyball jacket, dirty and frayed, zipped up to his neck. Most pharmacies were raided at the beginning, but many people failed to check places like animal rescue centers or private rehabilitation centers. 

Antibiotics were a need. Sickness and infection kill just as easily as the virus, if not more. There were sick people at the base, people with cuts and wounds that couldn't hold up with just simple pain-relievers. 

Osamu looked back at Akaashi, "keep an eye on the door" he said quietly, the dark blue eyes trained on his own, nodding. 

Atsumu held a hand up, "i'll round the back, Samu, check the counter and Akaashi stay at the door" 

They never made Akaashi do more than that. He had certain...convictions about the undead. A small part of him still thought of them as people, Osamu didn't know if he respected or resented that about him.

Akaashi nodded, grabbing Osamu's hand and giving them both a look while stopping in his tracks, "don't do anything stupid" he said quietly, eyes looking over at Osamu for a second longer. As if he were the stupid one, ridiculous. Atsumu huffed a small laugh, "yeah Samu, don't do anything stupid" he muttered. Keiji let go of his hand. 

Osamu flipped him off and started down the hallway to the front counter, the hallway went further down to separate rooms. They had scoped out the place before entering, marking down the exit points and amount of undead surrounding the area. There were more on the east wing of the building, probably why Atsumu instructed for him to check the west wing. It's an quick in-and-out, before nightfall and before anything can startle the beings outside. 

Walking over to the counter, he quickly checked for anything helpful to fill his bag with, nothing but gauze and band-aids. He threw them in his backpack anyways. He ignored the blood-stained walls as he started down the hallway. 

"Samu" a static voice spoke on his hip through the walkie-talkie. Osamu picked it up, eyes darting the room on the first left of the building. 

"What do ya want?" it was probably another joke, he always did this when they were out. 

"Find anything?" his brother asked in response, Osamu wished Atsumu could see him rolling his eyes right nw.

Osamu rummaged through a few cupboards, flashlight sitting between his ribs and bicep, "nothin' we don't already have" he said with a small huff of annoyance. They've been looking for antibiotics for the past week and have gotten nowhere. If they didn't find anything soon, people would die. 

Even if Osamu didn't let himself get to know these people, his compassion hadn't been lost in the outbreak. 

There was silence for a few minutes while they both looked around. Osamu sighed as he opened another cupboard, no surprise when he didn't find anything but paperwork, disposable masks, and sanitary wipes. 

Another voice spoke, not his twin's this time. 

"Samu, Atsumu, they're getting closer we have to leave soon. Probably your way Osamu" he spoke, voice steady as always. 

Osamu nodded, despite them not being able to see while he looked around the third door at his side. 

Bang. 

Osamu's head snapped up, eyes darting to the door and running out. What the fuck? 

Osamu sprinted down the hall, coming to the lobby area where Akaashi stood at the door, looking just confused and shocked as he did. 

"Shit" was what came from the walkie-talkie as Osamu and Akaashi looked at each other. Osamu didn't hesitate to run towards the east wing. 

"I found antibiotics, window broke, gotta go" a rushed voice said through the walkie-talkies, Osamu looking down the dark hall where Atsumu was in one of the rooms. Osamu cursed to himself, arm gripping the machete sheathed on his hip while he started down the hallway. 

Groans, coming from the room at the end, pounding on the emergency exit where the undead were pounding to be let in. Osamu wrapped his hand on the machete tighter, pulling it out quietly while his eyes looked around in the dark. 

He could smell them before he saw them, climbing into a room with a broken window. Osamu crouched, turning off his flashlight quickly and peering into the dark room. The only light being from the window where the light peered in, the afternoon darkness thankfully covering the undead's poor sight. 

Osamu had his hand on the doorway, eyes darting through the room, then he saw him. His idiot brother with his body pressed against the wall, evidently holding his breath, eyes locked in on Osamu. 

There were probably 4 in the room. Their senses weren't very good, this he learned over the last few months, except for their hearing. Osamu held up his hand, three fingers in the air, Atsumu nodded. Osamu slid into the room, on the rightside of the door, watching Atsumu on the far left side of the room. There were more coming into the window since the fuckers couldn't stop stepping on the broken glass and bumping into things, creating more noise. 

Osamu raised his machete and slowly pointed it to his right, reaching out to push the weapon into a cart, before counting down his fingers were Atsumu could see. 

3,

2, 

1. 

Osamu pushed that cart with as much strength as he could, crashing it into the counter on the other end, knocking over a glass jar with cotton swabs in it. The brain-dead beings turn to the noise, and Atsumu jumps off the wall and runs to the door, Osamu on his tail. The dead turning and while their vision may not be the best, it clear to see two 184 cm men running out the door.

The emergency door finally gives behind them, even more of the zombies -- yes, even Osamu will call them for what they are, start pushing into the building. Akaashi is at the end of the hallway, pointing helplessly out the front they came in, west wing it is. 

Osamu takes a daring look back, probably 11 on their tail now. When he looks back, that's when he sees it. A foot away, as Atsumu runs forward. The red cloth, that stupid fucking cloth that Atsumu always wears. Coming from the shawl their mother used to always wear that had ripped two months ago and Atsumu used as a face-mask now. It was so fucking dumb, so unnecessary, so idiotic for him to turn and grab it. 

Yet, he did. 

He stopped quickly, turning and reaching to grab the damned thing, turning where Atsumu was now a good 6 feet in front of him, now reaching Akaashi who was pointing at the door on the far end where Osamu came from. 

Osamu ran, following behind them with the flesh-eating beings behind him, reaching out to get a taste. The two of them reached the door, opened it and stopped for a moment. More zombies must've gathered. 

Osamu could see Atsumu pointing to the right, only to turn and see that Osamu was still a few feet away. They took a step outside, Akaashi holding the door. "Go out the window!" he called out quickly, pointing to the room on the right before closing the door. 

In that split second, pounding started on the door his brother and Akaashi had just been behind. Osamu took a sharp right, making sure to slam the door behind him while he ran to the window. He pushed it open, watching Atsumu and Akaashi running ahead of him into the street. Osamu jumped out the window, one hand holding his machete and the other holding the cloth. 

There was no way to them, not in a straight shot anyways. There were too many around him and two many starting to see the commotion for the two to stay in the street much longer. Osamu looked around frantically, eyes trained on the dumpster that led to a fire escape. He ran forward, using his body weight to knock one of the zombies away from the dumpster as he jumped over the top and using his vertical to jump up and grab onto the railing.   

It was starting to get dark. Osamu pulled himself up, silently thanking whatever deity that he managed to keep a lot of his muscle since the start of the apocalypse. 

Over the rail, a group of zombies surround the dumpsters, reaching up to him. Osamu's eyes snapped up where Atsumu and Akaashi tried their way forward to get to him. 

There was no way to them.

It was clear. There was no way the two of them could get to him and vice versa. It was getting dark, they had the meds. "Go!" he shouted, earning Atsumu to look up. 

"Shut the fuck up, we'll find a way to ya, now be quiet or yer gonna attract more!" his brother shouted back. It was a death wish, especially as more and more zombies left the animal shelter they just raided and continued to surround the building he was on, trying to reach up to the fire escape. 

Osamu knew Atsumu wouldn't listen. He never did, not when they were kids, not now. There was a sound though -- a car. 

A familiar black car pulled up, Aran shouting at them to get in. Atsumu turned to Aran, saying something to him that Osamu couldn't hear. He didn't have to though, he knew his brother was saying he wasn't leaving without him. 

What a sap. 

Osamu grabbed the walkie-talkie from his hip, changing it to the private channel he shared with Akaashi when both of them couldn't sleep in their rooms and stayed up hours talking on the private channel they found. 

"Keiji" he said seriously, eyes watching the scene as more and more of the undead continue to close in on them. Akaashi, who was getting into the vehicle, turned and looked at him, hands reaching towards the device. 

"Osamu" he said quietly, voice uneasy. 

"Tell Tsumu to get in the car, tell him to have Aran round the corner and i'll meet him at the end of the alley" he said seriously, hoping Akaashi could see how serious he was in this moment. Akaashi's eyes left his own for a second, looking down the alley Osamu was talking about. 

"Osamu" he repeated, but he didn't have to say anything. There was no way down that alley and they both knew it. 

"Keiji. When Tsumu gets in the car, childlock it" there was silence. Osamu tightened his hold on the machete handle, hoping Akaashi couldn't seem him trembling under his stare. 

"We're not leaving you Osamu" he replied, voice more steady and the sound of Aran and Atsumu arguing in the background. 

"Ya have the meds, take it back to camp. We both know this part of the city is gonna be overthrown by tomorrow, this is our only chance to get these meds. Ya gotta go Keiji" he said quietly. 

Akaashi didn't say anything to him, instead lowered his walkie-talkie and saying something to Aran and Atsumu. His brother turned to look at him, eyes narrowed as he raised his own walkie-talkie. 

"Yer going to the end of the alley, how the fuck do you think you'll get through them?" his brother spoke, as if he knew Osamu was lying. 

"I still have that flare gun, I'll shoot it when ya get in the damn car and distract them, then i'll leave" Osamu didn't have the flare gun, he used the last flare three weeks before that. Atsumu didn't know that though. 

He didn't have much of a choice as the first few undead started to close in. Atsumu jumped in the back seat and Osamu felt his heart break. 

He lifted the walkie-talkie. 

"Don't come back, I'll find you Tsumu" he said quietly as the car sped off. 

He lowered his walkie-talkie, "Aran what the fuck are ya doing. No turn around, what the fuck why isn't the door opening....Keiji tell him to open the fucking door....Samu, Samu what the fuck are you doing!!...Fuck no Aran turn this fucking car around right fucking now 'm not jokin'" there were screams coming from the walkie-talkie on his hip. 

The whole reason they went to this shelter today, was being the horde was on track to pass through within the next day. Osamu couldn't risk them staying just for him. 

"Tsumu. Don't come back for me, promise me" the walkie-talkie would cut out soon. 

"Shut the fuck up Samu, I ain't promisin--Keiji let go of me, Aran turn this fucking car around--I said let go of me!" Osamu bit the inside of his mouth. 

"Aran" he said louder, hoping the man could hear him over Atsumu's yelling, "don't come back, dont let Atsumu come back" 

There was a few seconds where Osamu thought the walkie-talkie must've gone out, before Aran's voice came in. 

"I won't" was all he said, but Osamu could hear him clenching his teeth, probably wanting to say more. 

"Sorry for doing somethin' stupid Keiji, keep an Tsumu for me" he said into the walkie-talkie, watching as more and more of the undead started to fill the streets. 

"I promise I'll find you Tsumu" A promise. A vow. 

"Samu please stop, fuck, we can come back, plea--" the walkie-talkie cut out. 

The was a month ago. Osamu managed to leave the building two days later, down a fire-escape on the other end of the building. The roads were blocked, but he was able to squeeze through one of the alleys and full on sprinted on the first sign of safety. Now, after spending the last 5 days running and moving, he had no idea where he was exactly. 

He had made it to the outskirts of the city. Somewhere on the edges of Shibuya. 

Osamu thinks about the restaurant he's in, the apartment upstairs he's made his home for the past 4 days. He doesn't have it in him to move forward, letting himself rest. It leads him wondering, a stupid little thought, that if he wasn't stuck in the middle of an apocalypse, he probably would've been happy in a tiny apartment like this one. 

He throws his wrappers on the floor and stands up, walking to the back room that opens up to the afternoon air, a few feet away is a door that leads to stairs. With a small exhale, Osamu opens the door and makes his way up the stairs. There is another door, one that opens to the small living room. The living room has a television, a singular futon, and a small fire escape on the side, facing another building but if you look to the left, you have a small view of the streets and sky. It was nice. 

The kitchen is decent, not that he can use it since it's all electric of course, but in his old life, he rather thinks he would like this kitchen. It was clearly well-loved by it's previous owner. The counters are chipped and there are pots and pans in every cupboard. Multiple cutting boards and utensils, it was nice.

There is another room that leads to the bedroom, but because of the blood stains on the bed and walls, he doesn't stay in there, opting to take the futon in the living room. He sits down on the couch, head thrown back and arm covering his eyes. 

In the entire month he's been alone, this is probably the longest he's stayed in one place. But, he made a promise, he intends to keep it -- or at try to anyway. He keeps getting pushed further and further outside the city because of both zombies and limited supplies since everything was raided. 

He wonders what Atsumu is doing most days. Really, the amount of thinking he does about that scrub would put his ego into overdrive. If Osamu does ever, no, when he finds him, he will make sure not to mention that part. But seriously. A few days after the incident, Osamu tried to go toward Shimuda, but there were dozens upon dozens of the undead loitering the streets. By the looks of some cars on the street that were set on fire, there were some unwelcome humans about too. Osamu was certain that they had to leave, find sanctuary elsewhere. Kita would never let them stay in the area with that many undead and other people around, not even for Osamu. 

He wonders if they found more people, if they have enough food, or if they're starving right now. Maybe they found a better place, preferably a house or a place with a garden. Somewhere they could settle down. Maybe they were all dead too. Every ounce of Osamu's soul tells him they aren't though. He's hoping this isn't his ignorance getting the better of him again. 

Other days, he spends his solitude reminiscing. He thinks of his childhood, days spent with Atsumu and days their mother was home. Hell, he even thinks about volleyball and misses it. He misses doing something with his hands, his body, that isn't slicing open the heads of flesh-eating monsters. 

He thinks of the days sitting in his dorm, probably adorning dark circles under his eyes, and complaining about his business and economics classes. Akaashi who would come into his dorm, with his own homework, keeping Osamu company because Akaashi knew he wasn't used to being so far from home. What Osamu would do to have a Business Ethics paper due right now. 

He doesn't know when he fell asleep, probably sometime while thinking about when him and his team went to Nationals their third year, right before Atsumu moved to a different university to play volleyball and left Osamu alone, somehow finding a strangely nice companionship with Akaashi Keiji. 

There was a noise, he could hear it. Somewhere in his unconscious brain, he's aware of a noise happening in the apartment. Or was it outside? Osamu couldn't tell. It sounded to far away to be an immediate threat, plus, he was just so tired. He was so hungry too. Man, a nice steaming bowl of miso soup sounded heavenly right now. 

Creak.

Osamu's eyes snapped open. Okay, that was alarmingly close now. Had the zombies moved closer in? He looked to the locked apartment door, had the noise come from the door? It took a few seconds for Osamu's sleepy brain to wake up before snapping his eyes to the window upon hearing another creak. 

Osamu froze. A few feet away from him, climbing the fire escape to the apartment building across, was a man. He jumped up gracefully, easily pulling himself up and stretching his legs to meet the next railing. Osamu couldn't see much, with the man's back to him. He was alone though. 

That was the most surprising. Osamu couldn't help but go towards the window, watching the man as he finally hauled himself over the fire escape a floor up from where Osamu's own apartment was. He looked up, eyes zoned in on the man, only to find bright yellow eyes finding his own. He was young, probably Osamu's age if anything. 

Osamu doesn't know why, really, but he waved. He fucking waved. He doesn't know this guy, or what he's capable of. Really, he should be running away right now. Humans were far more deadly than the undead. They were greedy and violent, Osamu had seen what they can do. Had seen the type of violence and greed that blossomed since the start of the virus. 

Osamu backed into the apartment, turned and grabbed his bag on the floor. He should leave, that was the smartest thing to do. Yeah, he should definitely do that. 

Ah, the stranger was at his window. He could tell by the sound of the metal creaking under the weight of the man, the creaking of his window opening since Osamu's dumbass didn't think to lock it. Osamu pulled his machete out and turned around, blade pointed at the man. 

He was tall, wearing a black zip up with grey pants that were cleaner than Osamu's own attire. His hair parted down the middle, yellow eyes narrowed on his own. He had a blade of his own. The blade pointed at Osamu and left hand hovering over his hip, clearly in possession of another weapon. 

For a moment they just stared at each other, waiting for the other person to make a move. Neither one did. 

"You waved" the man said, his voice was disturbingly unfazed and lacking emotion. 

Osamu grimaced at the reminder and lowered his machete, it was either be diplomatic or fight this man to the death, he would rather not. "'m aware" he muttered back. 

The man kept his weapon raised for a few more seconds before lowering it, "you're alone" 

Osamu put the machete away, hooking it onto his belt, "just gonna stick to pointing out shit I already know?" 

"Suna Rintarou" he replied quickly, taking a step forward. Osamu's leaned back against the countertop, "what?" 

The man sat down on the couch, "my name, you didn't know that" 

Osamu huffed a laugh, "okay Suna, why'd ya break in?" 

Accompanied by a yawn, the man leaned back into the couch, stretching his long limbs out, "you waved. Seemed like invitation enough. Figured you wouldn't try to kill me" he said simply, each statement broken apart as if it were factual. He wasn't wrong though, Osamu had his qualms about killing the living. 

_____________________________

5 months since they met, Osamu hadn't been alone since. The first month was awkward, mostly on Osamu's part. There was a piece of him, a voice in the back of his mind telling him that this man was untrustworthy. His lazy posture and double-meaning words were nothing but a way for him dissect Osamu, figure out his weaknesses. Turns out, they didn't really have much to offer each other. Both were scarce on food, both only had their weapons and a few pairs of clothes in their bags, Osamu had more medical supplies, Suna had more survival gear like flashlights and rope and duct tape. Plus, Osamu was not a creature that was supposed to be alone, didn't seem like Suna really liked solitude either. He liked the quiet, but he didn't seem keen on being alone. 

So here they are. Osamu punching a hole into the wall while Suna stands behind him, hands on his knees trying to catch his breath. "Fuck" Osamu cursed, withdrawing his hands and trying to will himself to shutting the fuck up, lest they want more of the undead on their trail. 

"Osamu" Suna said behind him, voice infuriatingly unbothered. "There was nothing we could've done" 

Osamu turned to glare at him, "don't say that" he growled, but he knew it was useless. Didn't help the way his throat contracted or the way he could only hear the pounding of his heartbeat in his ears. 

A month ago, four months after meeting Suna, the two of them are leaving a small grocery store in a residential area of Saitama. Suna said something about Tokorozawa. 

JANUARY 8, 2020. 

There was a scream, making the both of them stop their conversation, Osamu telling Suna about the time Atsumu threw a fit because he got red paint in his hair and it took several washes for it to finally come out. 

"Help us please!" a woman's voice screamed, pointedly at them. Osamu turned to see a group of 4 zombies surrounding a car, a woman could be seen in the driver seat. Osamu gave Suna a quick look, his hand reaching for his knife. That was all the answer he needed before they ran forward, quickly killing the four zombies since they seemed more interested in the woman screaming in the car. 

Osamu was about to tell her to shut up unless she wants more to come over, but once they pushed the last zombie out of the way of the driver side door, he saw a small girl, curled in the woman's lap. She looked about 6, judging from her size. 

Suna immediately froze, eyes blinking. Osamu opened the door, "ya two okay?"

The woman, a brunette woman who looked in her mid-thirties, just cried and nodded a lot of times. The child in her arms looked up, and immediately back down and cried harder. Osamu probably looked terrifying. He hadn't showered in about a week and his hair was too long. Osamu pulled down the red cloth from his face.

The woman took a couple deep breaths, "yes yes thank you. Our town got overrun and I took my husbands car and drove as far as I could, gas ran out" she muttered between short breaths, hands petting her daughters hair. 

Osamu smiled and nodded, "I'm Osamu, you two must be hungry" 

The little girl, hearing the statement, looked up and nodded frantically. Osamu looked over at Suna, who seemed to come to, putting a hand on Osamu's shoulder and stepping forward. Osamu patted his hand before reaching into his bag and pulling out two packages of crackers and a water bottle.

The woman tentatively grabbed them and handed one of the crackers to the child. "It's going to be dark soon, we found a house down the way we cleared out if ya need a place to stay tonight" 

Suna's hand on his shoulder tensed and he looked over, eyes searching his face. Suna was stuck looking down at the girl, a distant look on his face. Oh. She probably reminded Rin of his sister, who was 8, according to Suna. Somewhere in Aichi with his parents.

The girl looked up and turned to her mom, "mommy can we?" 

The woman looked at her daughter and back up at the two 21 year olds. Osamu couldn't blame her for her concerns, Osamu doesn't think he would take the offer in her position either. 

Though, in this new world, you either have to rely on trust, or rely on yourself. The woman hesitates for a few moments longer, "I guess..." she said quietly, sliding out of the driver's seat, pulling her daughter out with her. 

That's where it started. Suna and him led them back to the small house they had made their own a few nights ago. Suna was silent, not saying anything as he retreated back to the room they shared in the back. Osamu showed them to the room on the other end of the hall, assuming they wanted their privacy and space. "Help yerself to whatever's in the kitchen, 'm sure yer hungry" 

He didn't say anything else, not sure what else there was to say. Plus it was late already, the night was starting to make it's appearance outside. Osamu walked out of the room, walked down the hall to the room on the end house. 

As predicted, the younger man was lying in bed -- Osamu's bed. His hood was up and he was pretending to sleep, Osamu had been around him long enough to know what his breathing sounded like when he was actually asleep. 

The older of the two approached the bed and looked down at him, "first ya steal my jacket earlier, now my bed. My my, what will I do with ya Rin?" 

The man turned to face him, eyes void of emotion, but Osamu could see he was upset. The way his hands were clutching the thin blanket or burying himself a little too much into Osamu's very worn hoodie. Suna didn't say anything, he didn't have to. 

Osamu lowered himself, gently pushing Suna over to make room. They were both pretty lenient with physical touch -- Osamu, growing up with a twin meant he didn't really have boundaries that could bothered, and Suna, who was naturally touchy, with Osamu anyways, was okay with inviting himself into Osamu's space. 

The brunette let out a long sigh as he draped himself over Osamu's front, the hair tickling his chin a little uncomfortably but it wasn't unwelcome. "Ya know Tsumu used to actually believe Santa was real, left cookies out and everything. Scrub didn't know I would just take them to snack on at school" 

Suna didn't say anything, Osamu didn't expect him to. Instead, he brought his hands underneath Osamu's shirt to hold him even tighter, a small exhale of a light escaping his lips. Osamu brought his right hand up and slid it through his slightly dirty hair. He continued, "One time, after practice, Tsumu decided to stay late to get some extra serves in. Idiot stayed so long it started to rain, even though I told 'im it was gonna rain, and had to walk back while it poured. Got sick, knowing he had a test the next day and forced me to take it for him" fingers started to rake down his ribs gently, "ya don't understand how damaging it was for my dignity to pretend to be that loser all day, swear I lost braincells that day. Fucker had the audacity to get mad at me after too because I didn't pass the exam with perfect scores. Ya believe that?" 

Suna hummed against his chest and propped his chin up to look up at Osamu who let his hand drop, "her birthday is next week" he said quietly. Ah, sibling birthdays, those were hard during this time. 

Osamu would know, the day of his 21st birthday had been a difficult one, not long after the two of them met actually. Time had gone by so quick and while being on the run for so long, time seemed to merge together. Suna kept a small planner he used as a calendar and Osamu saw it one time, discovering his birthday, no his and Atsumu's birthday, was in two days. Safe to say that when the day came, the positions they were in now were reversed. 

Osamu stayed there for a while, letting Suna do whatever he needed to do before he finally fell asleep, his breaths coming in and out in an even and steady pace. Osamu probably could've fallen asleep if it weren't for a small knock on the doorway and Osamu looked up to see the girl. 

She looked excited, far happier than most people he had seen in the apocalypse thus far. She looked around the room, childlike curiosity getting the better of her. "My mom wanted to see if you were hungry, I told her I would come ask you because I'm a big girl now and my teacher said we have to speak for ourselves" 

Osamu gently moved Suna over, carefully trying not to wake him up as he slipped out of bed. "Oh yeah?" he asked, leading her away from the bedroom. 

The little girl nodded, "yup" she said popping the 'p' with a large grin. "I even know how to tie my own shoes now, and I was the best at writing my name" 

The older man couldn't help but chuckle as he walked down the hall where her mother was sitting in the living room, eyes zoned in on Osamu as he stepped out. He gave her a nod and saw a few bowls of hot soup on the small kitchen island. 

"I didn't want to eat your food without making some for you and..." the woman frowned, probably coming the the conclusion that she didn't know Suna's name yet. 

"Suna's asleep" he replied as the woman nodded. There was a tug at his leg when he looked down, "is Suna your boyfriend?" she asked with a large grin. 

The woman's eyes opened wide, "Chiyo you can't ask things like that. I apologize for her questions, she's never been good at filteri--" 

Osamu just smiled and shook his head, "it's alright" he reassured and looked down at the girl, "no Rin, isn't my boyfriend. Let's eat huh?" 

The girl just tilted her head, "but I thought only people who are dating sleep in bed together. My daddy said that I can't sleep in a bed with a boy unless we're married. Are you married?"

Osamu shook his head again and motioned his hand toward the bowls in the kitchen, "how bout I tell ya all about volleyball. My brother and I grew up playing." 

The month he knew Chiyo and her mother, Ami, had been a strangely domestic month. There wasn't much they could do, with a five-year old on board. Suna kept his distance, choosing not to get close like Osamu had. Indulging in all of Chiyo's questions when he talked about volleyball or Atsumu or the food he used to make. He would listen to her read when Ami and Chiyo were seated in the living room. He made them food, though they had to make more runs now that they had two more mouths to feed, Suna didn't seem to mind though. 

Osamu knew it was stupid, to get close to people. It was unhealthy and quite frankly, unsafe. Yet, Osamu couldn't help it when he came back from a run, a small gash on his forearm where he got cut on a piece of barbed wire and Chiyo put a small bandaid on it. Or when she would get scared when the undead would walk by during the night, sometimes bumping into the wall and she would go in the living room with her mom because, as she said, 'it's safer to stay by Osamu mommy, he has that big knife'. Calling Osamu her knight. He thought it was ridiculous but he indulged, letting her have her fun. Letting her grab a broken table leg and pretend to fight Osamu against his machete. Letting her cross her arms defensively when she refused to eat her dinner one night unless Osamu read her a book for the third time that night, earning stifled laughs from her mother and Suna who was watching the interaction. 

He couldn't not get attached. Not when she would poke Suna, trying desperately to befriend the previous middle-blocker. She managed to get him to read with her a few times, but he never took the extra step to get used to the two of them. 

So when Osamu and Suna left to go on a run, he didn't expect to come back to shattered glass and zombies in the house. They were gone for probably less than 3 hours. Osamu dropped the bag in his hand and ran to the open door and haphazardly killed every walker in his sight. There were 5 of them in the house. By the time he reached the room the two stayed in, he stopped in the doorway and didn't even notice when his machete hit the ground. The noise alerted the two walkers in the room, hovering over a body that undoubtedly belonged to Ami, who was hunched over something, Osamu didn't have to guess to know what it was. 

Someone said he name he thinks, he couldn't hear them. He just stared until he could smell the zombies as they made their way closer to him. He didn't have a moment to pick up his machete because Suna was in the room before he could and eliminated the two zombies quickly, piercing his knife into the cranium of one and pushing the other with his forearm and drawing the weapon out of the zombies head before stabbing it into it's friend. 

Within seconds, Suna was standing before him, hands on his face. "Samu, we have to go" he said quietly. Osamu blinked, breath caught in his lungs. He just nodded, body moving on autopilot as he grabbed his machete following Suna while he grabbed their bags from the other room and running out the building. Turns out, while they were gone, a nice small horde of a few dozen had taken to the neighborhood and their little fight had caused some chaos. 

Osamu was snapped back to reality, a hand wrapping around his own. Osamu was being pulled somewhere, a bathroom he thinks. It was dark, his bag was moved from his shoulder and he was seated on the edge of a bathtub. A hand cupped his chin and turned him to look up at Suna who started to move a wet washcloth over his face and grabbed the hand he just used to punch the wall, into his own. 

Suddenly very aware of what just happened, Osamu felt the tears start to fall before he could catch them. Neither one of them spoke, and no sobs left Osamu's lips, just tears falling from his eyes while Suna finished cleaning his face of blood and grime. 

Afterward, he wrapped Osamu's hand and pulled him up, leading him to a separate room and helping him take off his shirt. It was probably disgusting, he couldn't find it in him to care. Suna put a different shirt on him and ran a hand through his hair. "Let's go to bed." 

Osamu just blinked again, eyes on the wall, he didn't know where they were. He just nodded and followed Suna again. Suna looked around, pulling Osamu to a room. Osamu laid down on the bed, Suna following beside him. 

"I'm losin' everyone Rin" he said quietly after a while, voice finally coming back to him. 

Suna shook his head and brought Osamu closer to him. Osamu gripped the front of Suna's tshirt, "first Ma, then Tsumu and Keiji, now Chiyo and Ami, next 'm gonna lose ya Rin. I lose everyone. I don't wanna be alone" 

Suna placed a cold hand over his own, "I'm not going anywhere Samu" 

The week following was rough. Probably more for Suna than for Osamu if he had to be honest. They were clear of the undead for the most part, Suna found them a capable little dry-cleaning building with a room attached to the back as some sort of studio, that they were holed up in because Osamu couldn't get out of bed. 

Not for lack of trying. He did, he just wasn't completely there. His mind was somewhere reading Chiyo to sleep because she deemed Osamu safe. It was ridiculous, but she pointed at a book, a character -- a knight, and pointed up at Osamu. "That's you" she said one night while they were reading. Osamu had to hold back a laugh, her mother ruffling her hair, "why do you say that sweetheart?" Ami asked. Chiyo just smiled up at Osamu, her front tooth missing as she stuck her tongue against the empty space, "because he said he'll keep us safe. That's what the knight said in the book, so Osamu must be one. Plus, he has a sword." 

Suna had to make sure he rationed off their limited amount of food before Osamu came around. Probably didn't help that Suna was also a little emotionally constipated, and Osamu knew there was an 'I told you so' on the tip of his tongue, even if he didn't say it. 

Osamu was never supposed to get attached. 

Once the week was over, Osamu finally rolled out of bed and let his head fall back against the wall. Suna looked exhausted, crouched down, eyes on the door. "Sorry" was all Osamu managed to say, his voice coming out rough and strange after being silent for the majority of the week. 

Suna jumped at the voice and shook his head, "don't be" was all he said. They didn't speak of it again, only if Osamu brought it up first. It became a sensitive topic, one of many for the duo. They left the small dry cleaning building shortly after. Osamu never asked Suna to follow him along, not even when they first met, but Suna never complained. It was sort of another unspoken thing, Osamu's determination to find his brother. 

_____________________________

SOMETIME IN FEBRUARY, 2021.

It had been over a year since Osamu got separated. 

It wasn't all bad. It could've been worse for the two of them. Seeing how they have now survived months, through harsh winter and jumping from place to place, nearly starving multiple times. The time Rin was sick with a fever and Osamu was by his side keeping him warm as long as he could. Really, it's a miracle they survived as long as they have. 

17 months since Osamu got separated, 16 months since he met Suna Rintarou, 12 months since Chiyo and Ami died. 

"Did we just win the lottery Rin?" Osamu asked in awe, eyes looking around the house they stumbled upon. 

The man beside him just grinned wide and wickedly, walking forward to a cupboard with glass to show an alcohol cupboard. 

There was food in the pantry, all stale and nothing Osamu would've put in his body a year ago, but fuck. Osamu moved forward, twisting the knobs on the gas-powered stove. "Let's look around" 

And fuck was it so worth having to spend three nights outside by the riverbank for this. They were in a house somewhere a few hours walk from Kongo Falls. Since they've made it to the mountains, their encounters with the undead have been much fewer. The house they were in was fairly large, seemingly untouched, and way too fucking good to be true. 

Osamu walked down what looked like a basement and almost cried. There was a large open space, a couch and television. There was one bedroom downstairs, probably for a teenager of some sort who used to live there. 

Osamu imagines the family who lived here had been on vacation or somewhere else when everything went down. The bedroom was pretty spacious, and definitely for a teenager. There were those soundproof squares on the walls, guitars on stands, and a gaming set-up in the corner of the room. 

Osamu lowered himself on the bed and let out the biggest sigh of his life and almost laughed at how comfortable it was, despite how much they've had to fight to get to where they are now these past three months specifically. 

After a few minutes, Rin walked into the room and plopped down next to Osamu on the bed. "Samu" he said sternly, causing Osamu to open an eye to look over at Suna who was facing the ceiling. 

The man looked over at him and lifted his left hand to show a pair of battery-powered clippers. Osamu couldn't help it, he burst out laughing. "Fuck please tell me they have running water so I can shower. Rin tell me they have running water" 

Suna leaned over on his side and put his mouth close to Osamu's ear, "they have running water" he said quietly, though Osamu could hear the smile on his lips. 

Osamu jumped up, "Rin I think we died out there and this is heaven" 

Suna snorted and shooed him out the room. There was a bathroom next to the bedroom, which Osamu slipped into and faced the mirror. His hair had gotten longer since he last let Suna go at it with scissors. The grey had been all cut off months ago, now just his natural hair remained. His clothes were dirty, his hair greasy and slick from sweat and dirt. His face had remnants of dirt and blood. 

Safe to say, he's looked better. 

Turning on the hot water felt orgasmic and he was almost tempted to moan as it touched his skin. He removed his clothes and quickly got under the water, immediately feeling the water cleaning his body off. There were two bottles, one with shampoo and one with conditioner that were half-empty. They smelled of spice and vaguely reminded Osamu of the kind Atsumu used to use in high-school. 

After the shower, Osamu left the bathroom with the towel around his hips. He pushed open the door to the bedroom and started looking through the closet. He found a tshirt, that was definitely small on him but was clean at least. He rummaged into his bag and pulled out his only other pair of pants and boxers that he had to routinely clean. 

Suna was asleep on the bed, legs hanging off the bed and everything. Osamu hovered over him and let his damp hair drop water onto Suna's face. The man below him blinked his eyes open, "didn't know you could see your eyes under all that dirt." 

Osamu rolled his eyes and pushed himself up, "gonna cut my hair er what?" 

Suna yawned and sat up, "only if you get drunk with me later" 

Suna knew that Osamu was against drinking. Not because he was sober by any means, but simply because the idea of losing his senses and rational thinking in this environment scared him. What if something happened and he couldn't think properly, or what if they were too loud and led the undead straight to them? Suna pushed past him to the bathroom, "the room is soundproof Samu, I couldn't even hear you in the shower. Come on, we can be dumb one day. Plus you owe me" 

Osamu rolled his eyes, again, he may be falling into a habit of doing that around Suna "for the last time it was an accident..." he droned on, thinking about the cut on Suna's arm from when he jumped up in bed and may have accidentally, mind you, pushed his blade against Suna's forearm, earning a small white scar. 

Suna pushed him down on the toilet seat and stood in front of him, "but we have expensive wine and a soundproof room in a basement, there will never be a better time to get drunk during the zombie apocalypse than now" 

Suna showered after cutting his hair, the sides shorter and his bangs falling on his forehead, but out of his eyes. Afterwards, Osamu finally agreed so long as they make sure the room was soundproof and they lock and block all openings to the building. Suna helped him push chairs, couches, and side-tables against the doors while they locked all the windows. It was starting to get dark anyway. Osamu quickly heated up some instant noodles and followed Suna downstairs. The chances of other people finding this house at this time of the night was very unlikely, and there weren't many zombies in the area. 

They ate their trashy noodles in silence, before Osamu left the bedroom, closed the door, and insisted that Suna speak, to test the soundproofness of the room. 

There was no noise. When Suna spoke loud enough on the other end, it merely came out as a quiet mumbling that wouldn't be heard on the first floor since they also closed the basement door and stuck a towel underneath it. 

It wasn't smart. There were red lights flashing in Osamu's brain, yelling at him that this was probably a bad idea for multiple reasons. But man, he doesn't remember the last time he was freshly showered, hair cut, appetite satisfied for the most part, in a comfortable bed, and being able to talk at a natural volume. 

Still, Osamu couldn't help but voice his concern, "this is probably a bad idea ya know" 

Suna, from his spot next to him worked on opening the bottle of wine, "probably" he agreed, eyes still focused on turning the corkless cap off the bottle. 

Osamu rolled over on his back and looked up at Suna, "I never thanked ya" he said quietly, hands intertwined over his chest. Suna, who finally managed to twist the cap off, looked downward at Osamu, urging him to continue. 

Tilting his head to the right, mostly to figure out what exactly he's thanking him for, "you followed me around for the past year, ya didn't have to" he finally managed. His own version of 'thanks for not leaving me alone'. 

Suna sighed and put the bottle down on the nightstand and flopped back, so he was level with Osamu and turned his head to look over at him, "getting sentimental on me Samu?"
 

Osamu grunted, a small smile sneaking up on his lips, "nevermind, yer an asshole" he said half-heartedly, earning a small huff of a laugh from the man beside him. 

"but you're right, I didn't have to" Suna said, poking his arm to get Osamu to turn back to him, grey finding yellow. "I wanted to" he added once Osamu's gaze was back on him, voice an octave lower. 

There are things that are clear in the world. Like the sky being blue, or breathing was essential to human survival. Or, Suna Rintarou was infuriatingly pretty. It was just factual, a fundamental truth if you will. The smooth, pale skin that only manages to accentuate and highlight his sharp features. His narrow, fox-like eyes that shine a lovely yellow in the light and look almost jeweled green in the dark. His long, yet toned legs. The long torso Osamu has had seen bare more than a few times being in close capacity to the man. His defined abdomen, tempting curves and a slim waist. Sharp-cut jawline and hair that parts down the middle, shorter on the sides now than when Osamu first met him. He lacked some of his boyish features that still haunt Osamu and Atsumu's features. 

Suna narrowed his eyes, a tell-tale sign that he was thinking, Osamu couldn't tell what his face looked like right now, but all he knew was that he couldn't take his eyes away from Suna's. Usually, it's easy to ignore that he's still a 21-year-old man with a type for pretty boys. But here, where he has a moment to breath and take it all in, he finds that he doesn't quite have the same restraint as he did before. 

"Samu" he says quietly, it would seem hesitant to anyone if it weren't Rintarou speaking. Rin was a lot of things, hesitant wasn't one of them. 

Osamu reached a hand up and moved some hair from Suna's face, though it didn't do much since the length was a little too short to put behind his ears without it falling back down again. 

Suna didn't ask, and Osamu didn't say anything. They didn't need to. Suna leaned down and Osamu met him half way. Their lips met in the middle. It was a simple press of lips at first, experimenting with the feeling. Suna's left hand found it's way to Osamu's jaw and the other to hold himself steady above him. 

Osamu moves his hands gently down Suna's side, taking his time to map every line and crevice above the fabric of his shirt, to imprint the places where Suna's breath grows a little hotter and a little quicker. He takes his time, neither one looking to rush whatever this is. 

The kiss stays chaste for a few moments, before Osamu feels a something warm press against his bottom lip, a tongue prodding the seam -- a question. 

Osamu offers his response by parting his lips, turning his head and pulling Suna closer to him, chest pressed against his own. It should feel overwhelming, considering it has been a long time since he's done so much as hold hands with another person. Yet, Osamu finds himself enjoying so much, so much yet not enough. 

He lets out a small gasp at his own realization, his own wanting, which Suna uses as an opening to curl his tongue, the tip caressing the roof of his mouth in a way that exploits another low noise coming deep from the back of his throat. 

Lips detach from his own, much to his disappointment, but Rin just moves to his jaw, trailing down to his neck and collarbones. Osamu let out a slightly embarrassing noise when Suna bites into the skin above his collarbone, the man underneath him smirks against his skin. Bastard.

"Rin" he managed to get out, pulling the man up to press their lips back together. The man just hums in question while licking at his top lip. 

"Fuck me" Osamu said quietly, yet surely. Suna stops for a moment, if just for a moment to see if he's being serious or not, eyes narrowing in on his own, "are you sure, have you ever?" 

Osamu tilts his head, trying to come off as unimpressed rather than embarrassingly eager and hungry for Suna. "What had sex?" he asked, voice tattering on teasing. 

Suna doesn't look fazed whatsoever, or willing to engage in the bickering, "Osamu" he says after a moment, earning an eyeroll from Osamu. 

"I haven't" It's true. Osamu isn't virginal by any means, he's slept with a few people, women and men alike, though he's never been on the receiving end. Suna licks his lips and nods, "okay" is all he says because well, what else is there to say.  

It's almost painfully slow, but Osamu doesn't complain or pull. They move like they have all the time in the world. Maybe they do. Osamu doesn't really understand how time works anymore, how heavy the seconds that lead into a minute or how quickly days could go by. It didn't really seem real anymore. 

This was real though. Suna's delicate, scarred hands moving down Osamu's torso, tugging at the fabric. Osamu pulled the shirt over his head while Suna worked on his own before they met in the middle again. 

Hands find the front of his jeans, unzipping his jeans as Osamu lifts his hips so Suna could pull them down. Osamu uses his legs to push the rest of his jeans off while Suna started kissing down his torso, leaving marks on his chest and biting into his skin. 

Fingers slip beneath the waistband, touching the remains of hidden skin. Osamu couldn't help but let out a sharp gasp as a warm hand wraps around him, digging his fingernails into Suna's shoulders. Little crescent moons embedding into his pale skin. 

After a few strokes and mumbling mess of Osamu, Suna retracts his hands and pulls down Osamu's boxers. Suna comes back up until he's level with Osamu and licks up his neck, Osamu's hips bucking up at the feeling of his wet tongue on the sensitive skin below his ear. 

"Open" Suna commands and if Osamu lets out a small whine at Suna's suddenly assertive voice, well that's between him and God. Osamu opens his mouth, fingers prodding between his lips and Osamu works at properly lubricating each digit, tongue swirling around each finger while Suna promptly fucks his mouth with his fingers. 

Deeming them properly coated with Osamu's saliva, Suna slowly pulls his fingers from his mouth and kisses the edge of his mouth, "spread your legs Samu" he says quietly against his mouth. 

Osamu does and Suna works him through the first finger, slowly just until the knuckle while Osamu gets used the feeling. It takes a few moments before Osamu lets him continue, moving his finger before slipping in another, earning a moan from Osamu when fingers scissor inside of him. 

Suna talks him through the entire thing, giving him praises and Osamu melts at his words, relaxing around his fingers. "'m ready" he says quietly, while Suna pulls his fingers out. 

"You're look so good under me Samu" Suna whispers as he pushes himself in slowly, earning twin groans from the both of them. Suna starts off slow, to let Osamu adjust. If anything, it was too slow. He wanted all of it, all Suna could offer. 

He wanted to feel destroyed, taken apart. Feel something that makes him forget the decaying world outside this house. Forget everything besides him and Suna. 

Suna sinks in deep, Osamu's head falls back against the pillow while the man kisses his neck. Osamu feels like he should say something, but he finds himself lacking words. That is until Suna finds a bundle of nerves that takes Osamu by surprise. 

Osamu's back arches at the contact, a moan falling from his lips, "fuck Rin" he let out while hooking a leg around Suna, pressing down on the small of his back to push him even closer. 

Suna starts up a rhythm, pulling more obscene and mumbled nonsense out of the man under him. A hand moves up his chest and fingers lightly find purchase around his neck. Osamu, opens his eyes to look up at Suna. 

He trusts Suna, maybe dangerously so. Osamu presses up, lightly into the touch and lets out a gasp as the pressure on the sides of his neck tightens just slightly.

"Let me know if it's too much" Suna mutters quietly, hand closing more around the base of his throat. Osamu could feel his pulse pushing rhythmically against Suna's palm. He lets that hand apply pressure before releasing, letting Osamu gasp and moan to his heart's desire before the pressure is applied again. A feeling he gets from it isn't necessarily because he enjoys being choked during sex, it was because he wanted Suna to know. -- to feel how much he trusts him. 

He knows Suna would never hurt him, he knows him. The thought that if he holds Osamu's life under his palm should be sign enough, Osamu's been better at expressing himself through action over words anyway. 

It doesn't take long after that, Suna's thrusts become faster and deeper, hitting Osamu just perfectly as they defile the room with moans and grunts. Osamu finishes first after Suna's free hand wraps around him and matches his strokes with his thrusts. Ribbons of white wrap around Suna's hand and land on his own chest. Osamu relaxes against the bed, feeling both oversensative and needy all at once as a long groan ripped deep from his chest while the hand on his neck falls. 

Suna's mouth is on his, not really a kiss, more of just breaths and groans while they swallow each other's noises. Osamu could tell Suna was close, by the way his thrusts loses it's rhythm, and he's chanting Osamu's name like a prayer. 

He pulls out a few moments later, pumping himself into release and he finishes, painting Osamu's torso with more come. 

Osamu, tired, leans up and presses his mouth to Suna's. "Fuck" he lets out low and hot against his lips. Suna just chuckles, "let's go shower." 

Osamu groans and holds his hand up while Suna pulls him to a sitting position. They shower and put on their boxer briefs, not even bothering to put the rest of their clothes on while they drop down on the bed. They make out sloppily for a little bit longer before they finally open up the bottle of wine. 

They talk about nothing and everything at the same time. Osamu tells him about the university and everything he hated about it, about his restaurant plans. Suna tells him about growing up, moving around a lot, how he was good at volleyball but his school wasn't so he didn't really get a chance to shine. How he played for a small university in hopes to go pro someday. Things they've already shared about themselves, yet it was different. It felt, normal. Like the apocalypse wasn't outside their door. Like they didn't have family who were either dead or alive, people they cared about. 

But here, in this moment? It was just the two of them and a bottle of white wine. It was just two men who cared about each other, who knew each other inside and out. Just people, nothing more nothing less. 

Osamu felt happy for once and didn't feel guilty about it. He fell asleep with a smile and arm thrown lazily across his stomach. 

They stayed in the house, the basement, for three days. They stayed in their own bubble. Suna was more than happy when he found a Polaroid camera underneath a pile of old comics in the room. There were 5 film sheets left in there. Suna hopped on Osamu's lap and caged him in with his thighs while Osamu tried to take a nap. 

It was unfair, and a little scandalous as Suna took his photo from above, the photo facing down on a shirtless Osamu. Osamu, embarrassed, covered his eyes with a grin. It was a nice photo, Suna pocketed it and refused to give Osamu the camera, saying 'We need to save the film' like the hypocritical bastard he was. 

Osamu got him back later that night when Suna fell asleep and Osamu snapped his own photo of the sleeping man beside him, when he told Suna the next day, the man just rolled his eyes. 

It oddly felt like a vacation. Too good to be true. 

_____________________________

Osamu didn't remember much from high school. He wasn't the best student, made good enough grades to be on par with Atsumu and keep himself eligible for volleyball. An average student at best.

One thing he remembers while droning in and out of focus while his teacher spoke was something about Newton's laws of motion. He specifically remembers this because it was the day after a game and Osamu was particularly beheading his brother in his head the entire class period for going off on his usual tyrannical rant post-game. Something about missed serves on Osamu's end. 

One, an object will remain in it's state of uniform unless acted upon by an outside force. Two, force equal mass times acceleration. 

And third, for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. 

Osamu wasn't a philosopher or claimed to know how the secrets of the universe, but he guessed that this was something like that. Osamu let himself enjoy too much of their impromptu vacation, their little break at the house they left just four days ago. The lingering affects of happiness as the two men walked down the street. It was a small residential area with a singular convenience store they decided to check out before they continued their journey back through the mountains. 

There must always be an equal and opposite reaction. 

Osamu supposes this is the opposite reaction. They were walking down the street, Suna bumping his shoulder with an unamused smile while Osamu mocked him for his old eating habits in high school. 

They probably should've been paying more attention, been more aware that they were being tailed for the past 10 minutes. Been more aware when someone knocked into his side, forcing him to the ground. Osamu tried to jump forward to grab ahold of Rin when something hard hit him across the face. 

"Fuck" he cursed while turning back, eyes looking up where a man, seemingly late 30s, early 40s was looking down at him. Osamu looked to his right where Suna was kneeling across from him, unscathed thankfully. Osamu was about to move forward, when a sharp cold blade pressed against his neck. 

"Not to fast. Where'd you two come from?" the man beside Suna asked, eyes narrowing in on the two of them. Osamu looked up, glaring at the man, ignoring the feeling of blood running down his cheek. 

"Fuck ya mean, prolly same as you, we've been looking for supplies" he replied, irritation prickling at his skin. The blade pressed harder against his neck, cutting against the skin, his mouth shut quickly as he leaned back, or tired to, away from the blade. 

"Easy boy. Where's your group?" the man behind him asked this time. 

Suna looked over at Osamu, their eyes meeting in the middle. A bat was pointed at Suna's head, he seemed unbothered by it though. "We don't have a group. It's just us, has been" he answered much more eloquently than Osamu would have. 

A scoff come from behind him, "just the two of you? You're telling me the two of you managed to get this far without a group. Bullshit" 

Suna tilted his head and looked at the blade pressed against Osamu's neck and back up at what Osamu assumes is the man behind him. "It's not that hard to believe, if you two managed to--" 

Suna was cut off by a swing of the bat against his ankle. Osamu jumped forward but was pulled back by the collar of his shirt and blade digging into his skin, cutting deeper as he felt blood trickling down. 

"Rin!" Osamu called out, helplessly as Suna cried out in pain. The man pointed the bat closer to Suna. 

"Enough. You two don't seem to understand that we could kill you right here if we want. Now, where is your camp?" the man spat out, eyes glaring into Osamu's. 

Osamu just shook his head, eyes focused in on Suna who was still looking down at the ground, breathing in and out heavily, eyes shut closed. "I-we don't have a camp" he said, frustration coating his words. 

The men didn't seem impressed by that answer because the blonde man beside Suna grabbed a fistful of Suna's hair and forced him to look up where Osamu was. The man behind him crouched down lower and began to drag the blade horizontally across his neck slowly. Suna stared at him with wide eyes. 

Osamu balled his fists and tried not to hiss or tremble under the blade, "leave 'im alone, please" he said quietly, desperately. "Take whatever I have, kill me, I don't care. Leave him out" he ranted while watching the man raise the bat even higher behind Suna. 

The man beside Suna didn't loosen his grip on Suna's hair with the hand not holding the weapon, instead just held it up higher to look at Osamu better. "Stop lying and no one has to die. Where's your camp?" 

Osamu closed his eyes and sucked in a breath, before opening them again and narrowing them at the man holding Suna. "How many times do I have ta tell ya, there's no fucking camp" he said in anger, hoping his words would get through their thick skulls that he wasn't lying. 

"Bullshit!" he man said, pulling the blade away in a quick motion, slicing the skin on the right side of his neck and kicking him in the ribs, "stop fucking lying, you two just prance around like there's not a care in the world, clearly showered and fed. Now where's your ca--" 

"There's a house" Suna finally spoke up. Osamu gasped out a breath, hand clutching his side and he used his other hand to press down against the concrete of the street. 

"We weren't lying about there being no camp. There's a house, a few hours from here with food, a working stove, running water, there's even some wine left if that interests you. I'm not lying, just -- leave him alone, please" There was a clear desperation in Suna's voice, one he's never heard before. Osamu bit down on his cheek and looked up, eyes finding Suna's who was watching him carefully, glazed over with concern. There were zombies in the distance, definitely hearing their commotion. 

"It's just past the house at the end of the road, there's a trail behind there. If you follow the trail to the waterfall, you'll find a creek and the house is about an hour from there. If you go now you can make it there by nightfall" Suna continued, sounding more rushed and certain. 

The men were silent, processing this information. "How do we know you aren't lying?" 

Osamu spoke up this time, clearing his throat, "you don't but if we are, it's not like we can make it far like this. You can come back, find us, and kill us if ya want. But he's right. There's some food we left back and enough rice to last a few weeks if you ration it between the two of ya"  

The man finally let go of Suna and nodded to the man across from him, "let's go." 

The man behind Osamu seemed much more hesitant, "what, they could be lying" 

"What choice do we have, fuck I need a shower, I'll risk it for a hot shower. Plus, we gotta head out before more of these fuckers swarm the street" he said begrudgingly, gesturing around them.  

The shadow beside him disappeared. "If they're lying, I get kill this one, little shit annoys me" 

"Yeah yeah, let's go." 

After the two of them ran toward the direction Suna pointed them to. Osamu cursed under his breath and tied the red cloth around his neck and pulled it over his nose. He got to work quickly to Suna, lifting him up, throwing his arm around his shoulder. "Can ya walk?"

Suna pressed down lightly against his ankle and sucked in a sharp breath immediately after. Osamu shook his head, "lean on me, we gotta get out of here." 

Thankfully, the men didn't take their bags or weapons. It didn't seem like they were the killing type anyhow, unless provoked. Osamu guessed if killing was their intention, they would probably already be dead, they seemed more desperate if anything. 

After stumbling down the street, using one hand each to fend off a few zombies, they turned past a house and stumbled through the lawn. They had to get out of here before nightfall. 

While they were moving slowly, Suna finally spoke up in a whisper, slapping a hand against Osamu's chest. Osamu groaned, "fuck was that for?" he said, hand covering the area that had been kicked by the man. 

"Don't do that again" Suna demanded, turning his head to look at Osamu. 

Osamu stopped momentarily to look at him, "what're ya talking about Rin?" 

The man hobbled a bit on one foot but used his arms to steady himself on Osamu's shoulders, "I promised not to leave you. I figured that went both ways, not you offering to let them kill you to save me. Do that again and I swear to god Samu" he didn't finish the threat but Osamu got the gist. 

"Yo, you two need some help?" A voice spoke a few feet away. They both jumped and looked at the source, a man. 

Osamu moved his arm back around Suna's waist to hold him up, free hand holding the hilt of his weapon. The man rose both his arms and flashed them a smile, "look, I saw what went down over there, figured you two could use some help" 

Osamu looked around, there would be surrounded soon if they didn't find somewhere to go, and it would have to be fast because Osamu couldn't hold Suna up for much longer with his own injuries. 

The man, seemingly reading his mind, stepped forward tentatively, "look, we got people that can look at his ankle if you two want. Then you could leave, or you can figure something out on your own. Up to you" 

Osamu and Suna shared a look, "okay" Suna said, answering for them. The man was shorter than either one of them, putting Suna's other arm around his shoulder. "Okay, we gotta meet up with my partner, he's just down the street, then we could go. I'm Motoya Komori. Nice to meet you two." 

Osamu, exhausted and not wanting to indulge in conversation, just lifted up the bottom part of the cloth and pointed to his neck, probably not the most attractive sight but whatever. The man -- Motoya, just nodded. "Got it, get you two fixed up first, introductions later." 

Suna didn't say anything, his head was tilting to the side and Osamu could tell the strain from his injury was starting to wear him out. They walked down the street, meeting with a man smoking a cigarette outside of a building, looking down at the watch. 

"This is Ukai. I found them, let's go" he said, gesturing to the blonde man with long hair who just raised an eyebrow at the two and discarded his cigarette. 

"You get to explain to your cousin why he has to work extra in the infirmary, they're your responsibility" the man said with an annoyed expression. He clearly was not on board with their addition. Motoya just waved a hand in the air dismissively, "Sakusa will be fine. Anyway let's go before we get stuck out here." 

Ukai just walked past Motoya. The light-brown haired man smiled and gestured for Osamu to keep moving forward with him. "We're about an hour out, might take a little longer with your friend here, think you'll be good?" 

Osamu just clutched a hand on his aching side and gave Suna's side a quick squeeze before nodding. 

They managed to make it pretty far, given everything. The Ukai man, who made no move to get to know them, was pretty decent with a knife. He managed to plow through the handful of undead that they stumbled upon. He was more irritated than before having to do it alone, with the help of Motoya every now and then. 

They were walking up on a clearing, Motoya informed him that they were close. It would be just another few minutes before they reached the gates. Osamu still hadn't said anything besides nodding or giving a 'yes' or 'no' to Motoya's questions. He was too busy watching Suna who appeared to be fighting consciousness since Osamu's own injury and weakened state made it harder to hold him up, Suna had to start trying to walk by himself. Every step was a labored breath from the man beside him and a wince, it made Osamu feel all the more useless as he felt his own chest start to ache more and more, he didn't want to imagine the bruise that would was there. 

The sun started to set, probably around 5 in the afternoon. The air was growing colder and Osamu lifted the hood of his jacket, hoping to block out some of the wind, which was now pushing against them. More and more of the undead started to come out of the trees as they passed through a denser part of the forest. It wasn't in the direction of the house Suna and Osamu ventured from, but he imagined it wasn't that far, a few hours walk at most. 

Motoya lifted a walkie-talkie to his mouth, "We have people who need help, would appreciate if someone came out here" the man mumbled into the walkie talkie before quickly pocketing it and pushing Suna over to Osamu. The man stumbled into his side, knocking them both down while Motoya ran over to help Ukai who was struggling against a few of the zombies in their path. Osamu turned and grabbed Suna's face in his hands, his eyelids were blinking slowly. 

"Rin, hey stay with me. Just a bit longer then they can look at yer leg okay?" he said quickly, looking over the man's fatigued body. He was shivering, eyes heavy and from what Osamu could see from the skin peaking out of Suna's sock and bottom of his pants, a very purple bruise probably covered a majority of the skin there. 

It was likely he had been walking on a broken ankle this entire time. 

"Any day now!" Motoya scrambled into what Osamu assumed was the walkie-talkie. Osamu wasn't paying attention, standing up and pulling Suna with him. They took a few staggered steps forward toward Motoya and Ukai. 

A rumbling sound, a gate. "Weapons on the ground and hands in the air" a deep voice spoke, making Osamu stop in his track.

"Come on, they clearly aren't in any state to hurt anyone" Motoya tried to defend whoever was talking to them. Osamu kneeled forward, Suna following suit with a hiss, head dropping forward. Osamu moved to pull Suna's knives from his waistband and halter on his thigh. He unbuckled his own belt with his machete and threw it forward, turning his gaze to Suna. 

They could die here. It was a probability, pretty likely one too by the sound of whoever's deep voice was speaking to Motoya and Ukai.  The man didn't sound happy and was arguing with the shorter man. Osamu couldn't see them anyway, just Suna. 

Exhausted, in-pain, Suna. Osamu pulled off his hood and tilted his head at Suna. The man beside him just grabbed his hand and squeezed it, trying to reassure him. It was a failed attempt since he looked like he would pass out any second. Osamu, finally, pulled down the red cloth to say something to Suna when something froze him in his spot. 

A voice. 

Somewhere behind him. A voice, one that was familiar to him somehow. 

A small, quiet "Samu" to his left. Osamu blinked at Suna, whose own eyes have widened a bit at the nickname. So he wasn't imagining it. 

Osamu lifted his head, just slightly. He knew that voice. He's heard it before. That voice had lulled him to sleep countless times during exam weeks. Had given him pointers on his cooking in the late afternoons in Osamu's shitty university apartment. Had spent hours mumbling as he finished his assignment with Osamu in cafes during ungodly hours of the night. Had spent nights just talking with him. Had once told him 'don't do anything stupid.' 

Moments that felt like hours passed before Osamu finally turned his head completely. He knew before his eyes found him that the voice belonged to Akaashi Keiji. And he was right. 

About twenty feet in front of him was a man. A man he knew so well. Tall and lean, wearing a green sweater and dark pants with brown shoes. His hair was longer on the sides and he wasn't wearing glasses right now. He carried a walkie talkie in his left hand and a knife in his right. His face was in a state of shock, like he was seeing a ghost. To him, he probably was. 

Osamu's gaze fell behind where Akaashi was, to a face far too familiar. One that had been by his side for the first 18 years of his life. The man who had acted as his other half his entire life. Osamu didn't get a chance to look him over properly before Atsumu was running forward, dropping the belongings in his hands and wrapping them around Osamu. 

Osamu just froze, his hand dropping from Suna's. There was too much happening and too much pain shooting through his body. "Tsumu" he said quietly, the only thing he knew was his brother was there, somehow. His hands slowly came up to touch Atsumu's side, only to make sure he was actually real and not a pain-induced hallucination. Wouldn't be the first time he imagined his brother. 

It took a long time, probably too long before his brain finally realized that this was real. With shaky hands, Osamu brings his hands over his brothers back and feels his breathing start to pick up. This was real. He's pretty certain. Like, a solid 95%.

There's the sounds of sobs in his shoulder. Then everything hits Osamu at once. The fact that Akaashi Keiji called his name, the fact that not even two hours ago he almost got his throat slit, that Atsumu was hugging him, that his ribs fucking hurt. His brother's grip tightened around him and caused him to wince, hard. Atsumu pulled away and looked him over, "fuck, we gotta get ya to the infirmary" 

Osamu blinked a few more times, rendered speechless as he turned over to Suna who was now slumped over, hand braced against the ground. He just nodded, he felt like he was in a daze, a hyperrealistic dream. "Rin" he said quietly and Atsumu turned away from him where Suna was slumped forward and gestured to Motoya as they lifted him up. 

Osamu pulled himself up, wincing as he put an arm instinctively over his chest and watched as the man who was talking to them earlier took their weapons and walked ahead leading the way. Akaashi hadn't moved from his place, eyes droned in on Osamu. 

"Keiji" he said softly, unable to say more than people's names apparently. Akaashi sucked in a breath and Osamu noticed tears falling from his face. Osamu was increasingly aware that he hadn't cried yet. Was he supposed to? There were too many voices around him. 

Suna, where was Suna? 

Osamu looked around, eyes finding Atsumu and Motoya a few feet ahead where Suna was being led into a pair of large doors. Osamu opened his mouth to say something and closed it again, just pressing forward. He probably should've said something to Akaashi, or Atsumu for that matter. 

He followed, ignoring the eyes that followed them until they reached a building. Osamu was behind Atsumu as he opened a door, "Omi" he said as the door opened. A tall individual, taller than even Suna, turned around from where he was talking with a young boy at a table. He had dark curly hair, a mask covered most of the lower portion of his face. This 'Omi' character seemed like he was about to ask something, when his eyes landed on Osamu and they widened by a fraction. 

"Is that?" 

Atsumu just nodded beside him, "need ya to look them over" 

The man didn't ask any questions, just ushered them to two empty tables. Osamu sucked in a breath as he sat down and laid against the bed. He turned his head to look over where the tall man lifted up Suna's pant leg and untied his shoe. As he started to slip the shoe off, Suna gasped in pain, Osamu jumping up at the noise. A hand on his shoulder anchored him, he looked over to Motoya, "he's in good hands. Let's look you over, Osamu right?" 

Osamu looked over at Suna again who seemed to be better now that his shoe and sock were gone. A dark purple and yellow bruise covered his ankle, it wasn't a pretty sight. Sakusa put two pills in his mouth and urged him to drink some water. Suna did as told and passed out pretty quickly. 

Osamu just nodded and looked up where Atsumu was staring at him. 

Atsumu's hair was long. That was the first thing he noticed. It looked like it went to his shoulder, maybe shorter, and was pulled back in a low ponytail. Second, was that his expression was weird. The way he looked over Osamu was weird. He couldn't worry too much about that right now. Atsumu had a small scar on his jawline and looked smaller, probably lost some of his muscle. Osamu imagines he isn't doing much better on that end either. 

Atsumu is the first to move, stepping forward and looking over his injuries. He stopped, hand on the red fabric tied around his neck. That damned red scarf. Bane of Osamu's existence, yet the only thing that tethered him to his brother during those long months. Osamu lifted his hands to untie and and handed it to his brother.

"tis yours" he said after a moment, his voice coming back to him. 

Atsumu's eyes widened, not at the fabric, but where Osamu removed the article. "Fuck Samu, what happened?" 

Osamu rose his right hand and touched his own neck gently, almost forgetting about the cut that went across. Instinctively he looked over at Suna who was passed out while the tall man wrapped his ankle with some sort of bandage. 

"Rin" he said quietly, earning the tall man to look up at him, ignoring his brother's question entirely.

"It's just a sprain. A bad one, but it's not broken. Was he hit?" the man asked, eyes going back down to keep focused on his task. 

Osamu nodded, "yeah he was hit." 

After the wrap was adjusted on Suna's ankle, the tall man moved over to him. "Attacked?" he asked, bringing a wet cloth to Osamu's cheek and cleaned the blood on his face and neck. He just nodded again. 

"Hurt anywhere else?" the man asked, grabbing something from a side table. Osamu grabbed the bottom of his shirt and pulled it up, eyes jumping to Atsumu who gasped. He looked down, finally getting a good look at the bruise that had formed across the right side of his body. It was ugly, but he images it doesn't hurt nearly as bad as Suna's injury. 

Atsumu sat at a chair next to him and Akaashi stood at the end of the bed, like he didn't know what to do. His brother, grabbed his hand and looked down, and started to cry. Osamu didn't know what to do, it felt weird, having this many people around him. This many eyes on him. There were too many people. Should he be doing something right now? When was the last time he heard Atsumu cry this much in one day, when he got injured during his first year of university volleyball maybe? 

Osamu turned his hand so he could wrap it around Atsumu's and gave it a reassuring squeeze. Atsumu looked up at him with an expression he hadn't seen in a long time. A mix of anger and relief. "Ya asshole, yer lucky you already got your ass beat. God where have ya been?" he demanded, eyes frantically searching Osamu's. 

For the first time since arriving, Osamu found his voice, and cracked a smile. He's not sure what it looked like, with his face mangled and all, but a smile, "ya idiot. I promised to find ya, you'd never let me live it down if I broke that..."

Atsumu just laughed and sniffled, "ya bet yer ass I wouldn't."

Osamu turns his head to find Akaashi, "hey" he says quietly, voice slightly hoarse. 

Akaashi tenses and moves beside Atsumu, eyebrows furrowed in something Osamu doesn't realize, "I-I don't know what to say. I'm glad you're okay" 

Osamu just offers him a small smile, "this what yer calling okay, might wanna get yer eyes checked" he says in attempt for everyone to stop looking at him like that. Thankfully, his head is turned by the tall man who doesn't look at him like that. "I'm gonna stitch you up and wrap your side. I would suggest resting afterward." 

Osamu manages to fall asleep quickly after a few stitches are dug into his cheek and a bandage being wrapped around his ribs and neck. He doesn't know how long he's out, but when he wakes up, the space around him is empty. There's something playing in his head, a fear lingering there. One he's accustomed to, he could feel his fastened heartbeat. Instinctively, Osamu looks over at Suna to remind himself that it's not real. 

The man in question is still asleep in the bed next to him. Osamu moves out of the bed and looks down at Suna. Osamu moves some hair from his face and walks over to the door he vaguely remembers entering when they first arrived. He pushes open the door and finds Atsumu leaning over a railing, eyes focused on the sky. 

Osamu falls into step next to him, "your hair is long" he says after a while. Atsumu looks over at him, "couldn't cut it. Felt wrong I guess" he mumbles. 

Osamu just nods, "why'd ya guys move out here?" 

Atsumu looks around for a moment and shrugs, "after we lost ya, the horde started moving toward the shelter and we had a run in with a few bastards, so we left. Kita said it'd probably be safer near the mountains, so we left." 

That made sense, if anyone was the voice of reason, it was Kita. Always had been, even since high school days. This is the first time Osamu has an opportunity to look around. There's a good amount of people around, either talking with each other or doing some sort of task. There's a few buildings with a gate around. It looked like a gate from a house, extended with wood and scraps of metal, Osamu could only imagine how long it took to secure it properly. 

Osamu's vision focuses on a man, about 30 feet away, pouring what looks like water to a group of men who look worse for wear. Akaashi Keiji. He still hasn't had an opportunity to properly talk to him, or greet him. 

"He never stopped looking for you ya know?" his brother asks, gaze following Osamu's. When he doesn't say anything, Atsumu takes that as opportunity to continue. "I didn't talk to him for over a month, I was pissed at him. I knew it wasn't his fault, but I wanted to blame someone and since ya weren't here, I could only blame him. Even then, while we were on the move, he always helped me look for ya. Have you talked to 'im yet?" 

Osamu knew that they would continue looking for him. He expected that, especially Atsumu. His brother was as, if not more stubborn than him. The thought of Keiji thinking about him this entire time makes his heart thump, it doesn't feel the same as it did a year ago. Nothing did. 

"No" he replies after a few moments. 

Atsumu nods and pushes himself off the rail, "I'll go tell him yer awake. I'll bother ya some more later." 

Osamu pats his arm and nods while his twin walks away. He watches him walk over Akaashi who's talking with an older gentleman. The brunette can't hear what their talking about, but he watches as Akaashi turns toward him. Osamu raises his hand to a wave as he says something back to the gentleman and starts walking over to him. 

It's unnerving. Watching as he steps closer, as if he were hesitant. Maybe somewhere he feels guilty. Osamu turns when they're a few feet away before he steps forward and wrap his arms around the man. Akaashi shoulders slump a bit as he reciprocates the hug, his arms wrapping around Osamu's shoulders. 

He missed this. Somewhere, as selfish as it was, he had forgotten that Akaashi had been an important person in his life for so long. Been there for him during a time where he felt nothing other than loneliness. Osamu never stopped to think that maybe his absence had affected Akaashi as well. 

"'m sorry" he says quietly. Arms tighten around him and a large sigh is exhaled against his neck. 

"You're here now, that's what matters" he gets in response. Akaashi is first to pull away, though not completely, arms settling on his shoulders and for a second, their just looking at each other. Osamu offers him a small smile as Akaashi just offers one of his own. Akaashi withdraws his arms and settles them at his side, Osamu follows the same motions. 

Akaashi flicks some of the hair that falls over his forehead, "you kept your hair short" he mentions, arm falling back to his side. There's something in his voice that Osamu can't quite grasp, maybe a year ago he would've been able to. 

Osamu looks up, finding a few strands in his vision and back at Keiji, "yeah well I figured it was time ta get rid of the grey, kinda hard ta find good bleach these days" he says, trying to offer a joke like he used to, "Rin cut it, we both know I can't cut my hair for shit" 

Akaashi smiles a little bit more and nods, "yeah" 

("You cut your own hair?" Akaashi asked one day, hard reaching out where Osamu is covering his hair with the hood of his sweater. 

With a groan, Osamu pulls the strings of his hoodie and tightens it. It was stupid. He was too stubborn to wait until his usual barber came back from his vacation and didn't trust anyone else near his hair other than his mother. It was starting to get too long, so one day after work, he tried to do it himself. "No laughing Keiji." 

The man sitting beside him just smiles, "I can't promise that" with offers no reassurance whatsoever, yet Osamu pulls the hood back anyway. 

Like expected, the grin on Akaashi's face just grows wider as a few weakly contained huffs of laughter leave his lips. He reaches his hands up to card them through Osamu's poorly chopped hair. He had tried to cut it the same way he's watched his barber do it dozens of times, but one side would be too short so we would try to match it on the other side and his bangs were now uneven. 

Osamu, trying to feign betrayal, crosses his arms over his chest. "Tis not funny" he mumbles pathetically as Akaashi just laughs a little more at Osamu's expense. Akaashi's hands stay at the nape where it's shorter than usual and brings his other hand to join it, wrapping around Osamu's shoulders. "I can try to even it out later" his voice came softly as he leaned in, Osamu's hands finding sanctuary on Akaashi's hips, "I guess I'll forgive ya for laughing" he mumbled with a smile.)

Osamu sighed and rested against the railing. Akaashi mirrored him and nudged his arm, "was it just the two of you?" Akaashi asks, though it doesn't sound like theres something lingering behind it, just curiosity. 

"For the most part" he says, not adding more, and Akaashi doesn't ask. He just nods like he knows Osamu isn't ready to talk about something. He supposes he does, he's always liked that about Keiji, when they were in school and work and assignments piled up, wearing Osamu to the bone, he never forced him to talk about how he was feeling or pitied him, he waited until Osamu opened up. He never hovered, he was always reliable, an anchor during rough nights and a comfort for nights when he missed his idiot brother. 

"You should get some more sleep, I'm sure you're tired" Akaashi says after a while, bracing his hands against the railing and pushing himself back. "Atsumu and I can show you two around tomorrow." 

Osamu nods and that was that, just the two of them looking at each other again. Keiji looks the same for the most part. His hair is a little longer, but not by much, just reaching over his eyes a little. He's skinnier, makes him look a little taller. He has the tiniest hint of stubble on his chin, very faint and thin, only noticeable since Osamu is this close. He looks older, his eyes look more tired, like when he would stay up until 3 in the morning writing a paper while Osamu watches tv and pretends he's working. There's something in his eyes, that make the green dimmer, like a light had gone out over the year. That's to be expected he supposes, given everything.

He wonders how Akaashi sees him right now, if he notices the differences, or if Akaashi sees him as the same man from a year ago. Akaashi's always been more observant than most. 

They don't say anything, Akaashi just gives him one more nod before walking off. It's already past dark, Osamu guesses it couldn't have been more than 3 hours since they first stumbled here. 

Osamu lets out one more breath before turning back to the makeshift infirmary. He walks past a few sleeping individuals until he reaches the bed he was in before. Before he could settle down, he notices Suna sitting a little more upright, awake. Osamu walks over to his bed, "when did ya wake up?" 

Suna just shrugs, "not too long ago, heard you talking outside. Your brother?" 

Osamu nods, "yeah, and Akaashi. They said they'll show us around tomorrow. It's still night though, should get more sleep if ya wanna heal that leg up quickly." 

Suna looks down at the bandaged limb that's resting atop a pillow, "careful Samu, almost sounds like you care" 

Osamu rolls his eyes and looks over at his bed, a strange feeling in his stomach. This past year, him and Suna had shared a bed. Whether it be for warmth during the harsh cold or comfort during the long nights, it became routine. Now, they were here, wherever that is. Before he can think about it too much, Suna is pulling at his wrist, pulling him onto the bed with him. 

"Go to sleep Samu" he mutters as Osamu shifts around on the small bed, far too small for the two of them but they've been in worse positions before. Osamu sucks in sharply while adjusting, momentarily forgetting about his bruised ribs. Suna settles next to him, it's rather uncomfortable. Suna can't really turn with his leg, so Osamu does. He rests on his left side, Suna slides his arm underneath him to wrap around his back while Osamu rests against his chest. It's uncomfortable, but Osamu thinks it's better than if he had to sleep alone. Here, he can hear Suna's heartbeat, like a lullaby. He always slept better when he could hear of feel the rise and fall of Suna's chest, a reminder that he wasn't alone. 

He must've been more tired than he thought because he falls asleep within minutes. 

The next week is one that takes Osamu by surprise. They settled in well enough. But nothing felt right. 

Osamu assumed, had bet on for the past year, that finding his brother would fix everything. That things could go back to how they were, that he could be who he was before. A brother, friend, recreational chef, retired volleyball player. All of that.

He was wrong. So, so wrong. He felt worse here than he did outside the gates. He was esctatic having his brother back, having Akaashi, Kita, and Aran back. His family. He couldn't believe how lucky he got having them back. And yet, there was still a void within him. A scratching at his brain telling him this is wrong. All of it. 

The time he feels most like a person again is after everyone had fallen asleep and he could sneak out of his room to go to Suna's, who's already awake waiting for him because he can't sleep without him either. And just for a few hours, he feels at peace. 

There's no eyes watching him tentatively, wondering when he was going to break. No Atsumu barging into Suna's room, poking fun at them, 'ugh can ya stop cuddling for two minutes, they need help in the kitchen Samu,' he would say. Or the way he looks at Akaashi and feels feelings he doesn't have a name for, the closest he got is guilt. The way Kita watches him, but doesn't pry, which is worse because Osamu just knows that he knows Osamu is holding back. How Aran insists on telling him all the trouble Atsumu has gotten into during his absence. Granted, Aran is just doing that to try to immerse Osamu back into the group, which the effort is appreciated, but he feels more out of place than he did before. 

He thought that it would be like the missing piece in a puzzle, that finding them would somehow make everything make sense. That as long as they were all together, it would be fine. 

Osamu was walking with Atsumu and Aran, who were giving Suna and Osamu a walk-through the rest of the camp since they have both healed a significant amount in the past week, having done nothing but rest and eat. 

Suna was still crutches-bound, but he didn't seem to mind much. Osamu's bandages have been taken off and the bruising on his cheek and ribs have faded to a faint yellow. He didn't really care though. His mind was elsewhere. 

He made sure to maintain his image though, responding when questions were directed at him, smiling when polite, chuckling when the others laughed, added his own input when hounding his brother. 

He figured that it was just the adjustment period, that this feeling would fade with time. That he wouldn't feel so trapped in his skin anymore, that he shouldn't be here. They were walking down the hall, an area Osamu hadn't been to yet. 

"It's mostly for the younger ones ya know, give them something to do" Atsumu explained, waving his hand to the other rooms. Osamu didn't look in them, he felt as if something would twist inside him if he did. Instead, just focused on moving forward alongside Suna who just nodded, looking more tired if anything. 

"Since Keiji doesn't really like to go on runs, he mostly sticks to the volunteer work like reading to the kids, he's should be in here..." his twin continued, voice fading out as they approached another door. Atsumu and Aran stopped at the open doorframe so they could get a peek inside. 

It was a pretty clear room, with a small bookshelf. Akaashi was sitting on a chair, surrounded by kids of various ages, mostly elementary age though. Osamu's breath hitched as Keiji gave them a quick wave, continuing where he held a storybook in his right hand and flipped the pages with his left, the book facing the kids so they could see the pictures. 

"he said he'll keep us safe..."

Osamu grabbed the doorframe as Akaashi continued flipping through the pages of a familiar book, the kids sitting up straighter to listen. 

"...That's what the knight said in the book, so Osamu must be one..."

No. His head was shaking before he registered it was even happening. This was wrong. All of this was wrong. He could feel something itching beneath his skin, screaming at him to leave. He didn't notice his breaths had picked up until Akaashi had looked up from his book and over where Atsumu was now crowding his space, waving a hand in front of his face. 

"...Look mommy, Osamu is teaching me how to be a knight too. Maybe I can get a sword when I get big..." 

Osamu dropped the tub of food he was holding, the food he was supposed to deliver to one of the elderly ladies after they finished this. "Sorry" he muttered, though his voice didn't sound right coming from him.  It was too quiet and shallow. 

"...When I get big, I'll help you protect my mommy and Suna..." 

His back hit the door, eyes trained on group of kids surrounding Akaashi as he stood up. He needed to leave, get out. Needed to get as far from here as he can. Everything was wrong, this was all wrong. 

Without saying anything, he just turned around and ran to the front door, ignoring the calls from Atsumu. He couldn't breathe. He felt like something had crawled inside him and crushed his lungs from within, like he couldn't get his heart rate to slow down. He stumbled to the side of the building, kneeling down to ground himself somehow while gasps out hurried breaths. 

"--mu" 

He turned quickly at the sound. Akaashi stood a few feet away from him, a look he remembers all too well. The look he would give Osamu when he overworked himself too hard, stayed up too late studying, or when he would push into Akaashi's dorm and plop down on his couch, willing his tears to stay away. 

"I can't breathe" he said quietly, forcing his voice to work. Akaashi stepped forward adn crouched next to him, placing a hand on his bicep. "Count with me Samu" 

Osamu shook his head, "I c-I can't" he muttered pathetically. The man in front of him just grabbed the sides of his face and nodded, "yes you can Osamu. Count to ten with me" 

A nod. 

Akaashi counted slowly, and after reaching seven, Osamu managed to breath a little better. Akaashi dropped his arms to his side. 

Osamu slumped back against the cool wall of the building and put his head in his hands, "I should leave" he managed, internally grimacing at the sound of his own voice. There was a hum next to him, "why do you say that?" 

"This all feels...wrong? Fuck I don't know" he exasperated, lifting his head up to look over at Akaashi, who was already watching him intently, patiently, "Sitting here acting like everything is okay when I don't feel okay. I thought finding you guys would bring everything back, like I would feel normal but I don't! I feel like a fucking idiot. I love you guys more than anything but I can't have you guys keep looking at me like I'm going to break or drop right in front of you, like 'm made of glass. And Atsumu, I don't know how to talk to him anymore. That's the worst part, I've never once doubted my place with him. I feel so weird in my body like I shouldn't be here. I don't belong here Keiji. I don't know what I'm doing, I don't even know what's wrong with me, I just know this all feels wrong." 

Akaashi's face didn't change, but he scooted a few inches closer, "Osamu, you were alone for months, have seen and gone through things that I can't imagine. It's no wonder you feel strange, you don't have to pretend Osamu. You don't have to be the person you were before, none of us are. You don't have to hold this in you know, if you could just let us in a little, maybe we can learn to understand a bit better and go from there." 

Osamu felt the overwhelming urge to rip his hair out or scream at the top of his lungs, something to relieve himself from whatever storm was brewing within him. "I don't know how Keiji. I don't know how to talk about any of this, 'm not good at this." He supplied, dropping his head back against the wall. 

Keiji looks down at his hands for a moment, contemplative, before looking back up, "why not start with me, baby steps. Like what happened in there, can you start with that?" 

There was always something about him, Akaashi, that could placate someone, comfort them. It had comforted countless nights at university, had been a piece of home when he felt lost. Always managing to pick him up when he was down. "I haven't told Tsumu this yet, but a while after I ran into Suna, we met a mother and her daughter. They were only with us for about a month, maybe more. The girl, she, I don't know, she was so nosy ya know" he started with a sniffle, his eyes growing watery, "I used to read to her, or listen when her ma would, she liked being around me. I don't know why but she thought I was safe, used ta call me knight. It was all fun until one night Rin and I went on a run since we were running out of food and well, ya can guess the rest" he finished, rubbing the bottoms of his palms against his eyes to get rid of any tears before they dropped. "I knew I shouldn't have gotten attached, it was stupid, but seeing ya in there, reading to those kids, it just brought it back. I don't know, it's dumb, I should be past it by now but it's bothering me" 

Osamu jumps slightly at the hand that rests against his forearm, "Osamu, it's not dumb. Don't think for a moment that anyone here cares that you had a reaction to something. You are allowed to feel things Osamu, you're allowed to be feel things. A lot has happened if the months you were gone, if you choose to let us in on those or not is up to you, but don't think that you have to apologize or feel like you're not one of us just because you aren't the same person you were before. No one's asking you to be. You and Suna, you're here now. That's more than anything, you two don't have to be alone anymore Samu." 

You two don't have to be alone anymore. Osamu felt his shoulders slump as he placed a hand over Akaashi's. "I'm sorry" he says quietly. Keiji just smiles at him, "you have nothing to apologize for." They both know that's not what he's apologizing for. 

Instead, Osamu just shakes his head and withdraws his hand, which Akaashi mirrors. "I'm sorry" he repeats, watching as Keiji folds his hands together, "I wanted to be the same person, for you and Tsumu, for everyone. I'm sorry, that I can't feel the same things I did before. I love ya Keiji. I'm sorry ya spent all those months looking for me, waiting for me. I...fuck I'm sorry" 

To his surprise, Akaashi chuckles and gives him another small smile, "Samu, I would spend lifetimes looking for you. Not because of who we were before and what we were together, but because you're important to me. I didn't look for you because of what we had, I never expected it either. I still don't. I only cared that you were okay. We love each other Osamu, but it doesn't have to be the way we did before. We're different now, and frankly Samu, we have bigger things to worry about" 

At that, Osamu finds himself chuckling, albeit, a bit sadly, but nods, "yer right. Thank you" 

Akaashi just gives him a nod and stands up, "I'm going to head back, I'm sure Atsumu is waiting for me to get back inside so he can interrogate you himself." 

With a dramatic sigh, Akaashi leaves and in his stead, his brother walks out. Osamu holds a hand up before he could say anything, and pats the spot next to him on the ground, "before ya say something dumb, 'm fine now" 

Atsumu sits rests back against the building wall, "Samu, I know ya have this unhealthy habit of keeping shit to yerself, but ya don't have to you know. You can tell me" 

Atsumu had the red fabric tied around his neck, it made Osamu feel a bit more comfortable, "I know" he assured, a hint of frustration. 

After a moment of silence, Osamu sighed and faced in front of him, "look Tsumu, I can't keep pretending anymore. I need ya to listen if I want you to understand. I know that could hard for ya" 

Atsumu rolled his head but nodded for him to continue. 

"Look Atsumu, I need ya to stop pretending like everything is normal. It's killing me here. I know it's not yer fault since I haven't said anything to ya since being here, but it's not normal. I don't fit in here like I used to, we can't keep pretending like I do." 

Atsumu furrowed his brows, "Samu, look, losing you was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. And I know there are things, a lot of tough shit you went though that you aren't ready to talk about yet, I just don't want ya to feel like you have to. I don't know what to do either, we've never been like this before. I've never not been able to read what's going on in your head, it's weird" 

Osamu snorted and nodded, "I know, I never felt like I didn't know how to talk to ya. Throwing me off" 

Atsumu just gave him a quick smile, "well, ya wanna go back, pretty sure Sunarin and Aran are still standing awkwardly in the hallway" 

Osamu nodded. For now, this was enough. He didn't have to tell Atsumu everything yet -- didn't have to explain that he doesn't sleep next to Suna because he thinks he's pretty, he does it because he can't sleep if he doesn't and if he does, it's restless and usually results in him being woken up to another nightmare. He doesn't know how he feels about Suna because they don't have the luxury to worry about measly things like feelings, how something as simple as love doesn't seem right because after everything they went through, it had to be something more than that. Or how he can't look people in the eyes for too long without feeling that itch again in his brain, or how he didn't find joy in cooking anymore because it just makes him sad about the world they used to know. For now, it was okay. He didn't have to know about Chiyo or Ami yet, or the days when him and Suna would go days without food, or the places they've had to sleep, the days when they wouldn't sleep and would have to keep moving forward. The days when they would have to comfort the other from thoughts that told them none of this was worth it. Atsumu didn't have to know about the days he stayed in bed after losing Chiyo and Ami. How he still has bad thoughts and sometimes his mind is still somewhere outside these gates and he doesn't know how to get his fingers to stop tingling and to not jump at every sound and unknown voice. 

He didn't have to let it all out yet, not yet. One day he will. Maybe one day that itch will be gone, and that grip on his heart will loosen. For now, he takes Suna's hand that's waiting for him when they enter the building and let Aran pat his shoulder and smile back at Akaashi. 

For now, he can let himself not be okay, because at least he isn't alone. 

_____________________________

[+]

SEPTEMBER 16, 2022.

Osamu was busy in the kitchen, chopping some of the vegetables Kita had brought him from the garden early that day. He let out a yawn, hand moving on autopilot. He may not particularly love cooking like he used to, all that time ago, but the movements were still like muscle memory for him, a second nature. He was still waking up, adjusting to his task of being in charge of the kitchen, having to feed over 30 people. 

He's gotten used to it though. Having been doing this for the past year and a half now. He was so distracted, he didn't notice a familiar body slide onto the counter until there was a tapping against his thigh. 

Osamu lifted his head up to look over at Suna who was sitting on the counter, tapping Osamu with his foot. "Yer up early" Osamu supplied, looking back down at his vegetables. 

Suna just hummed in response, "tried to go back to bed after you left but Motoya asked me to help in the infirmary" 

Osamu just nodded in response, "Aran's arm better?" 

The taller of the two nodded, not that Osamu could see, "yeah, he should be able to go back on runs in about a week or so" 

There was silence for a bit, not at all uncomfortable, while Osamu continued cutting up the vegetables to make a simple stir fry. There wasn't much to do today, except maybe go through inventory again to see how much rice they had left before they would have to start going on more food runs before winter hit again. He also had asked Sakusa if he could shadow him around the infirmary for a bit later, he wanted to know more. 

Once again, Osamu was snapped out of his train of thought, pulling him from his evening itinerary with a foot dragging up his thigh. Osamu spared him a side glance, raising a brow, "Rin, what are ya doing?" 

The brunette, just gave him an innocent smile, "what to ya mean?" he asked in a voice, trying to mimic Osamu's accent, causing the shorter of the two to roll his eyes.  Osamu put the knife down and turned to Suna, whose eyes were on his, though his foot hadn't moved from it's spot against his thigh. 

Osamu looked down and grabbed his ankle, "yer a menace ya know" 

Suna tilted his head before bending his knee back and pulling Osamu in from where he had his hold on his ankle, "you're just too easy Samu" he retorted. Osamu, placing his hands on either side of Suna, just raised a brow, "watch it, before I make sure ya don't get breakfast" 

Suna leaned back against the cupboard behind him and tapped Osamu's temple with his index finger, "how are your thoughts today?" 

This had become somewhat of a routine over the past few months, a simple way to ask how the other was doing. "They're good today. What about you?" 

Suna shrugged, "good, going on a run with Tsumu later" 

Osamu nodded, he didn't like it, but he couldn't exactly force them to not go. Suna sat up and leaned forward, putting his arms around Osamu's neck, "I'm gonna try to find more film today. Still can't believe you let Atsumu use the last one so he could take a photo of Sakusa, it didn't even turn out right" 

Osamu rolled his eyes and playfully pinched the man's thigh, "he didn't exactly ask Rin" 

Really, Atsumu had stormed into Osamu's room where he was reading one of the medical terminology books Sakusa had lent him so he could be more useful on medical runs. He looked around the room, stopping where the two polaroid photos were lazily taped by the bed. 'I never saw the one of ya' he said inspecting it further and grimacing, 'ugh yer a freak Samu'. Osamu had tried to kick him out, to no avail, before Atsumu eyed the camera in the corner and running out, stating, 'ya know, polaroids aren't a bad idea, im gonna go get one of Omi. Of him clothed ya nasty' he exclaimed as he ran off. Seriously, not Osamu's fault. 

Suna just tilted his head, "you let your brother one-up you so easily. I'm disappointed Samu" 

Osamu raised a brow and leaned forward, "my my, how can I make it up to ya" he said softly, pressing his lips delicately against Suna's. There was still that itch in his chest, that feeling -- but now, he's learned how to ignore it, how to find other things to focus on. Like the man in front of him. 

"Oi Samu, have ya seen -- Oh my god you two are fucking gross. Sunarin we gotta go can ya not suck face with my brother in the kitchen?" His pain in the ass brother exclaimed as he walked into the kitchen. Osamu stepped away from him and went back to his cutting board, "shut up Tsumu" 

His twin just rolled his eyes, "'m not the one making out with Sunarin ya dog. Anyway, we're heading out in a few hours, I was gonna steal Sunarin so he can dye my hair before we go" 

Osamu turned at that. Atsumu hair now was cut short like Osamu's, not at the shoulder length it was when they first reunited all those months ago. He had somehow insisted that Suna cut his hair too. Suna hopped off the counter. 

"Hair dye?" Osamu asked, looking between the two. Another person walked in, eyeing the three of them. 

Akaashi walked over, "Kita was wondering if you needed help in the kitchen Samu" 

Osamu just shook his head, "no, I'm fine. Did ya know Tsumu's gonna dye his hair?" 

Akaashi turned to look at Atsumu, "how?" 

Atsumu and Suna gave each other a grin, "well, when Sunarin went on his run with Aran last week, he found an old box of bleach. Thought it'd be fun to do, plus 'm tired of people mixing us up again, reminds me of middle school." 

Osamu just shook his head and turning back to Akaashi, "how are the newbies, they hungry?" 

They had taken in a group of 5 the other day, all a little beat up but nothing bad; a high school girl by the name of Hitoka Yachi, a middle-aged couple he didn't get the name of, a man who was a year or two older than them named Koutarou Bokuto and a girl a little younger than Osamu named Yukie Shirofuku . "I got them settle into their rooms, I'm sure they would like breakfast soon" 

Atsumu rolled his eyes, "I think everyone would if Samu would stop smoochin' Sunarin and get to cooking" 

Suna just shook his head and Akaashi just laughed, "I'll tell them about an hour?" 

Osamu gave him a quick smile and nod, "yeah I can do that, let me know if they need anything else." 

Akaashi just nodded and turned to leave when Osamu jumped up, "wait Keiji" the green-eyed man turned around, "when you doing reading tonight, think I can sit in?" 

Everyone turned to him now, eyebrows raised. Akaashi just smiled, "course Samu. I'll let you know when" 

Osamu just nodded as Akaashi left, giving his friend a wave. Suna walked over to him and smiled, "reading tonight?" 

He hadn't been able to go back to that room since the night he freaked out. "Yeah, gotta distract myself while the two of ya are gone" he said pointedly looking between the two of them. Atsumu rolled his eyes, "we'll be fine. Things have gotten better out there Samu" 

It's true, the undead population was decreasing. Not to a hopeful amount, but to one where Osamu doesn't feel like he has constantly wear his belt with machete. Suna grabbed his hand, "we'll be back tomorrow" he promised. 

Osamu just rolled his eyes and gave him a quick kiss to his lips, ignoring the dramatic gagging noises from his brother. Osamu just flipped him off, "make sure Tsumu doesn't do anything stupid Rin" 

The brunette nodded and intertwined their pinkies as a quick promise before letting go and walking to the door of the kitchen. Osamu turned to his brother and walked over, swallowing his pride before giving him a quick hug, "don't get yerself killed out there" he said in lieu of a proper goodbye. Atsumu just patted his back and gave him a cocky grin, "have more faith in me Samu, but don't worry I'll make sure me and Sunarin come back in one piece." Osamu just nodded and gave the back of his head a playful whack before stepping away, "either one of ya get hurt and I'm telling Sakusa to let ya deal with it yerself" 

Atsumu crossed his arms, "yer not allowed to team up with Omi" he threatened. 

Osamu just shrugged as Suna pulled Atsumu away before the two of them could start bickering, "we'll be back tomorrow" 

Osamu just smiled and shook his head. 

Things weren't how they used to be. Atsumu had slowly started to get Osamu to open up and talk about the things that trouble him, and in return, Atsumu will tell him about his own troubles. They've never been good at heart-to-hearts, but they have started to be able to understand each other again and Osamu didn't feel like the gap between them was as large anymore. Osamu and Akaashi were friends, probably closer friends than they were before, despite the fact that they weren't together the way they used to be but they were okay with that. Kita and Aran managed to stay pillars in his life, but now they know to just talk to him directly instead of trying to figure him out by themselves. Osamu even managed to open his little circle up, just a little, befriending Sakusa and Komori who had become close confidants over the past few months. Osamu still couldn't sleep without Suna next to him, but that was okay since they shared a room now anyway (to create space for more people, Osamu would argue if asked), and now they kiss in the morning and Suna intertwines their pinkies as a promise. Different, but not bad. Not alone.