Work Text:
Theme: Guilt
Summary: He had tried his best to help her.
Z woke with a start, brought to conscious by some small noise. As she regained her bearings, her heart clenched. She was in the nursery. She crushed the green bear closer to her chest. She didn’t want to leave, didn’t want abandon the baby. Oh, her mind knew logically that it wasn’t her fault, but she couldn’t help but feel that it was. If she hadn’t tried to get pregnant so early, if she had taken time off earlier when she was tired, if she hadn’t used the glass cleaner a week before, if she hadn’t done half a million things, then maybe the baby would still be theirs.
Kat said it was genetics…that something had gone wrong, and her body had decided to try again later. But it didn’t help ease the burning knot of guilt in her stomach.
She sniffled, and realized that her throat was parched, so she reluctantly left the bear propped up in the crib, and made her way to the kitchen. As she passed the living room, she heard muttering, and looked in.
Jack was on the couch, face twisted as he mumbled and twitched in his sleep, fighting nightmares. With a sudden crashing realization, she knew he was dealing with their loss. And she realized that she wasn’t the only one suffering. He had tried his best to help her, and she had screamed at him, shoving him out of her pain and out of her life. A new knot of white-hot guilt blazed into existence in her stomach, this time for treating her husband so badly. She knelt on the floor beside the couch, gently shaking him awake. He jolted, then looked at her with caution. She laid a hand along his jaw, blinking back tears. Dear god, she had lost the baby, but she couldn’t stand losing him too. She sniffled, looking up at him.
“Jack, I’m so sorry.” Her voice caught, but it didn’t matter. He was crushing her in a hug, petting her hair gently. Together, they let each other’s tears soothe their aches and pain, washing away the guilt as the dawn broke over the horizon.